Women Explain Why Dating Gets Harder As They Get Older…
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 พ.ค. 2024
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I'm 53 and newly divorced and single. Based on what I've experienced, the women my age are just as confused and filled with unrealistic standards as some of the young women here. I'm just going to focus on my hobbies and interests and forget about dating.
Date 25-40 and you're in the sweet spot
I divorced in 2018 after 34 years married to the same woman, (I turned 70 this year). Guess what, my experiences with dating coincide with yours in terms of the women
wise decision. don't make YOUR hapiness depending on others. Happiness is made, not found. good luck, sir!
@@JoshuaKevinPerryno. He is better by himself.
52 here….After about 45 dating is a complete waste of time
When a woman says "I'm ambitious", we men dont hear that they are capable, hardworking people, we hear "I'm going to nag you to death so you'll gather more wealth".
This x90000000000!!!! That sounds like something a dude would say and these types of women just aren't attractive to me romantically. Do I respect a girl with ambition that likes to compete to get more wealth? Sure but In the same way as I look at another guy.
Exactly
And then she’ll grab most of it as part of the divorce settlement.
I find 'ambitious' women soooo unattractive. And I agree with your definition. Ambitious women notoriously intend to exploit men and look at men as a resource.
I hear "I'm controlling and will be extremely annoying/bossy," whenever they list things off like that. The "boss babe" attitude is always an immediate turn off/red flag. I'm not dealing with some controlling woman that also feels the need to compete with me in every aspect of our lives or is constantly comparing me to other people and looking for reasons that I'm not good enough. I've seen enough of that type of woman and I want no part of that ever.
This channel is fresh air, not woman blaming all men, and not a guy saying all women are cheaters. Just honest and straightforward this channel is great
she is just making money out of men, she is still same women like others. dont get fooled
Its a great channel, I struggle with dating so its nice to hear some supportive words, but I hate all the MGTOW sexist bs.
I love how the first woman proclaimed that she knows what she "brings to the table", then when asked what she brings, she says a couple of things that men don't care about, then spits and sputters before saying it's a "loaded question". Comical.
So you don’t care if the mother of your children has any education, intelligence, and ability to be financially stable? If men only care about looks they won’t help having children with abilities. Women who are intelligent and educated ofteb have children who become more successful and healthy
reminds me of the now hiring signs at minimum wage establishments.
"come join something bigger than yourself"
"fun, active environment"
"be a part of a team!"
in other words we bring nothing to the table
@@Marivi247 some men might only care about looks because they already got everything else and don't necessarily want kids.
@@Marivi247 The more "education" a woman has the higher the chance of infidelity and divorce. It's a very strong correlation. No woman has the ability to be financially stable, sure there is variation between different women, but it's nothing compared to a man's financial stability (men don't fall for impulse purchases or propaganda 100% of the time like women do, they can plan for the future, etc.) it's like comparing how well a dog can build a car compared to a man - it's just an entirely different world. As for intelligence, all women's brains stop developing at 14, it's the same as the financial stability, you are filtering for a woman who will do the least damage with her harmful ideas (because all of them have them).
You have the correlation completely backwards with a woman's level of education and the health of her children. Higher educated are more likely to be single mothers, which are the most likely demographic to harm a child in the entire world, across all demographics and ages.
@@Marivi247 Men want women who are loving, caring, loyal. Interesting that YOU went to looks and not the other things, hm? Intelligence is great, but you can work on that. A loving, caring, loyal personality cannot be developed...it has to be there. A big part of that is having a low body count at any age.
If you want treated like a lady, you have to BE a lady.
I love the “I choose poorly, but it’s the person I choose poorly’s fault.” Men’s brains hurt too in dealing with this.
yeah... you nailed it. according to girls it's always the guy's fault. if they could see what it looks like from our end, oh boy...
Having some level of ambition is ok, maybe even a good thing, but if she's all about ambition, she's probably not all about you. so... why bother?
men need to get it into their tiny little brains that women were not made for decision making or even being in charge. women cannot even be in charge of their own life which is why there is this stereotype of girls telling each other everything. girls confide in each other because they literally cannot decide anything on their own. start acting like a fucking man and tell women what to do and they will feel drawn to you
@@jostencline6443 ambition is a masculine trait to begin with.
@@daishan1234because ambitions women were shunned
Yup, it’s kinda sad that their own “expectations” sometimes keep them from making a long lasting relationship.
It really is disheartening, especially when they are a good person.
I don’t think it’s a bad thing to want a partner who has there shit together… steady job, in shape, takes care of themselves but I do think your main expectation should be that the person makes you happy and treats you right.. cuz what’s a wealthy husband worth if he’s beating you or disrespects you? Priorities
But I do see a lot of younger men marrying women who are over 20 years older than them.
Sometimes? More like 90% of the time nowadays...
It's like watching the aftermath of a car crash, it's sad, but you have to keep your distance and walk away.
I'm 44. I was in a 7 year relationship in my 30s that included 5 years of marriage. My wife cheated on me when I was 40 so I left her. It's been rough. The last time I was single, dating was so different just because of technology. Smart phones were just coming out. There were no dating apps. Social media was in its infancy. I used to meet a lot of girls on the bus/train/ferry. Now everyone has their face in their smart phone. People are so much less approachable. I had zero luck with dating apps. I don't use social media other than TH-cam comments. We older guys remember a time when getting a girl's phone number actually meant something.
You know, unless you really want kids, make money, do your own thing, have fun and stay single. I've been married 14 years now. Good gal, does not cheat, but she is zero support, zero caring, zero encouraging but plenty of put downs and criticism. In other words, other than the kids, a big zero. Men give up way too much for what they get today. With American gals anyway, I've had friends that were happy with their filipina gals, they are more traditional. Believe it or not, they actually value men in their lives, not just use them.
@johnl9977 That sounds like you and your wife have A LOT of communication issues. Get a therapist, I don't mean that mean
@@johnl9977 100% better than dying alone.
lol get used to the future old man this is what we’ve been dealing with for years
@@johnl9977 Why are you married then? How is your dysfunctional marriage helping your children? I'm very confused.
After my divorce I took a long hard look at myself and did what I needed to change the way I reacted to life in general. When I met my future second wife I wasn't shy in telling her my wants and desires. It wasn't how much she made or how successful she was. In the end we both wanted someone to come home to and just listen, someone to pick up the slack when the other couldn't. Love speaks loudest in actions not words. When I come home and the house is messy I will clean it. When I forget to take the trash out she does it. Most importantly we talk to each other, no mind reading allowed. Love one another out there.
May this lesson reach all who need to see it.
One of the most sensible, down to earth and wise comments I've seen yet. So tired of this red pill (really black pill), passport bro f'g bullshit that men are spewing these days. They just sound like tired, tragic losers, but it's all the women's fault, nothing about them, of course.
Important & wise words: "Love speaks loudest in ACTION NOT WORDS."
If you’re frustrated with the dating world right now just understand the problem is bigger than you. Just focus on personal development. It may never lead to a relationship but at least your own life can become better and better.
Agree. I just rent a prostitute and NEVER EVER think about relationships.
It depends.. if you are a man, then yeah you are right. The sexual market place is fucked up for the regular joe.
But if you are a woman and whining about it.. it is on you.. YOU fucked up
It's the ONLY way it will lead to a relationship. Drowning in the mess of modern dating will get you nowhere. Your value is literally the only currency that will attract others, in the present and in the future. Keep building/maintaining it via self-improvement.
This is one the more positive takes I’ve seen in the comment section of these kinds of videos. It hurts my heart to see people (both men and women) taking life’s lessons and turning them into something destructive and unproductive. We’ve all fallen into a negative mentality at one point or another, but we need to start promoting a healthier mindset for ourselves and others.
@@Nocomment552 thank you I agree. Our world is what we perceive it to be. We can’t choose our external variables but we can choose how to respond to them. We should all strive to find ways to take a bad situation and still find a positive outcome.
I actually went out on a date with the girl who gave off that whole list of requirements (7:10). I remember she told me she has a list of requirements and I didn’t really ask much about it because I didn’t care that much. And so my mouth actually dropped outta my ass when I saw her in this video…😵💫😵💫
Was she just as crazy in person?
@@Semaj2326 hahaha a little but definitely not to this degree, no. She was actually pretty funny, but I still wasn’t really feeling it enough to continue to see her. I guess I shouldn’t have been that surprised to actually hear about her list, because she brought it up once or twice hahaha
I think you dodged yourself a massive bullet there Hombre
Omg!😂
You dodged a HUGE bullet with that one!
LMAO 🤣 the face you made when she said she brings her "success in my career" to the table 😅😂😅 i saw that, that look you gave killed me!!!
I quit dating about 18 years ago. I chose to just focus on my own happiness.
My mortgage is completely paid for as of 2015 and I run my own successful
business.
I'm fit, healthy (mentally & spiritually) and financially secure. I'm not about to
trade any of that in for a woman who was nowhere to be found during that
journey to achieve all of it. My peace of mind isn't for sale.
Gotta love all these humble brags 😂
@@brett103 It only sounds like 'bragging' to those who didn't plan
for the future like he did. Are you envious? 😉
@@WillieTonka You’re a presumptuous little fella, aren’t you? lol. No. Its broadcasting claimed achievements that shows insecurity.
@@brett103 Your tears are so delicious. Vanilla soy pumpkin spice with fruity rainbow sprinkles. yum yum moar plz.
@@WillieTonka Well you’re definitely deranged 🤣
You're incredibly kind to call some people "young" instead of "childish".
I read something recently that said that people grow up hearing that anything is possible and have incredibly unrealistic expectations for their lives, but I feel this applies to relationships too. Many people are searching for someone perfect who simply doesnt exist, and they end up single. It's sad because they had chances to find love but turned it down because their friends said they could do better, or because the person didnt check all of their hundreds of boxes.
This is spot on.
It doesn't even stop at "anything is possible". It gets into "accept nothing less than perfection", and then we get headlines like "Broke men are hurting women's marriage prospects" reinforcing the idea that unless you make six figures and look like a male model, don't even try.
Amazing how unrealistic women have gotten as I have gotten older dating. Women with no jobs expect 6 figure incomes, women who are “6-7s” are expecting a guy who is a “10” & dating apps have made dating toxic and expectations unrealistic. I’ve dated women who claimed they were “strong career driven, don’t need a man attitude” and yet when they bills came, I always paid them and she always “had to go to the bathroom” after multiple dates.
I called her out on it after the 5th date and she claimed she was “traditional” when it came to dates and men paying, yet claimed she was making 6 figures working from home. That didn’t last.
What women will realize is that they found nobody good enough and this often leads to depression in their late 40s/50s once they realized that they were arrogant in their 30s/early 40s.
@@ATLBraves1992 my experience is that some women tend to assume that all men, particularly straight white ones, just walk into six figure jobs and don't suffer any adversity or hardship, either to get there or to maintain that position.
Love being told that since I am a straight white guy I am overly confident, loud, and oppressive, when I'm an INFJ on the autism spectrum with childhood trauma issues who is just starting to get a semblance of a career together over the past five years despite being nearly 40.
It’s called hypergamy my friend the proof they are delusional is the body positivity movement end of story
I'm a happily married woman and I don't give advice because no one listens and its so frustrating for my advice to be ignore by single, dellusional, miserable women.
hi there, I would be open if you have any advice for me. I am a 30 yo woman and been in a 6 year relationship. It recently dawned on my that I actually would like to get married and start a family soon, since Id like to have more than 2 kids if possible. My bf said he doesn't want to get married. the first time i brought it up he said he was not sure if i was a good fit for him (after 6 years, that hurt) but now he says he want's to get his health in order before he can think of something like marriage or family (he has a bad tinnitus and i actually struggle to see how he would manage do with a baby around sometimes) what is your thought on the situation as an outsider/stranger?
@@bibeejane As someone who is 37 and has been in a unmarried relationship for 14 years....run baby. Run. Don't settle for someone who doesn't want to marry you if you want to be married. He can leave at any time if you're not married and i hate to break it to you but being just a girlfriend means you're a placeholder.... (even if he never meets his dream girl and leaves you for her....do you really want to hold on to a guy who doesn't see you as his priority? He's not trying to hold on girl....so let go and find someone who will commit. Men aren't on a fertility clock and they will sit there and take from you for a long time so it doesn't mean squat that he's still around now. That being said, I would keep in mind what everyone here is saying to not be delusional and all about yourself if you do start dating again. That's the way to find a husband quickly (assuming you have all your other ducks in a row). Be sweet, be nurturing and supportive. Don't start barking at some other guy about all your disappointments with other men or frustrations finding a new one. I figured out in this relationship how to be a wife, but yes, i'm in the same situation where my guy doesn't actually want me and i regret (and 40 is so close now girl)
@@bibeejanedon’t waste each others time.
@bibeej- move on darling. He’s telling you he doesn’t want to marry you. You can find someone that will. I’m an old gal and I’ve seen both sexes waste each other’s time. Especially if one wants children. Good luck
@@bibeejane honestly, just walk away. if you're not a good fit, walk away and find somebody else. you seem like a lovely girl. a good man will snatch you up.
Whatever happened to a relationship having the understanding of give and take from both sides; not just, me, me, me!
One thing that kept coming up was that it was always the men's fault. There were very few of these women that took any responsibility in their own behavior.
They like playing the victim
Never do never will
We have babied woman to the point where they often times act like 9 year olds.
I know it is my fault. Because I was so shy…
Same as it ever was…
Being supportive is such a small thing that seems to get overlooked. I love seeing couples that understand that and support each other no matter what.
This!! My ex-gf tried to say I showed no effort while we were together until I pulled her up on how much support I provided her, embracing her insecurities and uplifting her so she wouldn't hate her flaws, being a shoulder to cry on, lending an hear, helping her with her uni studies, good morning texts and late night conversations, dinner dates, etc etc. I did everything, but she tried to dismiss all of that and that's when I decided to cut things off. Haven't really put much effort into any relationship afterwards and don't I ever will again tbh.
@@charondesousa8868 oh wow! That does suck. All the little things do stack up. Understandable that your efforts have deminished. 😕
Women have adapted this transactional "what is in it for me" attitude no one wants in a lover. That is the MO of a prostitute. A prostitute does not love you, it loves the money it gets from you. It is very sad when the prostitutes are more supportive than your "lovers" by simply not nagging and venting out on their partners. Just look at the violence stats of lesbian couples - pretty high. Instead of being supportive, wahmen obsess about money and start nagging hardcore as soon as your shared earnings no longer equal 150 % of hers. Wifestitutes like that have none of the benefits of the real prostitute.
A woman saying, "I'm supportive." And a woman actually being supportive are two different things.
8 times out of 10 their idea of supportive is just nagging
@@danh2716 Yeah, there are 10 women pretending to be something for every genuine specimen. They say the real reason is that the women have made to think that they need no man, which makes them much more likely to compete with their man instead of exhibiting basic human intelligence by being cooperative.
Being competitive is nature's way of saying "yours and my interests are separate." This means that pairing up with modern wahmen like that gets you WORSE SERVICE THAN AN AVERAGE PROSTITUTE CAN DELIVER. No exceptions.
To assess the genuineness of women today, you need extensive testing and they have to be the research kind of tests where the woman can not guess what you are testing her for.
It takes a lot of effort to test every single wahman intelligently like that, which is why you cannot blame men for opting to do something genuinely fun and reliable instead, for example, self-indulging with video games. Video games are fun, funny and never nag you for long.
Not to mention the single-mother households produce wahmen with non--fixable-tier daddy issues that lead to every single trash wahman behavior pattern including nagging.
Dating gets harder as you get older because all the mentally and emotionally mature people pair off early on in adulthood. Meanwhile the unstable people of the world are more likely to stay single
"Any guys as long as he's tall and 6 feet......"
Courtney's face when she said that had me on the floor.
Only 15% of men are 6 feet or over. She thinks she's a top 15% as well I guess.
@@cdsersd2d I must live where that 15% is prominent. Here, it seems like every dude is over 6 ft.
I commented once about a friend who keeps changing partners constantly and other women who know her saying men were horrible with her. I said to this group of women, when the same issue reoccurs it may not be the different men but the common denominator that is at fault. If stares were daggers I’d be dead.
And this is the moment when you got enemy for life :D
Nothing is ever their own fault.
My youngest sister has had the worst luck with landlords and neighbors. She has gotten evicted numerous times for no legitimate reason at all. And she always finds herself living near the most terrible people possible. It seems like a weird coincidence that this could happen so many times in so many different locations. Do you think there might be some common thread that connects all these seemingly unrelated events?
@@TerryProthero it could be. Go about it from the most logical point of view you can. There are always some behavioral markers that can be found repeating time after time but most are overlooked. From the areas you want to rent at to the conversation you have when getting into areas or situations as well as the people you interact with. There is always the chance that she has just incredibly bad luck but many times it turns out to be the decisions we make that take us down specific paths. Or course you can take any comment no matter how unrelated it is to you and make it into something that triggers a response from you. We chose many of those one way or another.
@@TerryProthero
Finding a good rental is an art.
For starters, I always take a walk around and see what the neighbors are like, even returning at different times of day; there are lots of indicators.
Being kicked out more than once suggests some poor choices &/or behaviour.
She definitely needs to have a close look at what she's doing.
Inversely, dating has gotten way easier for me as a man in my 30s! I get way more dates than I did in my 20s. However, I notice that women in their 30s are more driven by anxiety.
I've dated lawyers, surgeons, scientists, etc. All successful women. I'm a professional myself, but not a big deal like some of these women. No, I'm not insecure about their success. I respect the hell out of anyone who pursues their goals.
The reason why things ended with all of them is that they let their anxieties take over the relationship. Their biological clock is ticking, they know their looks aren't going to hold up forever, and if they want to have healthy children and healthy pregnancies, they gotta lock a man quickly.
They want to do things fast. One of them said, "If you're not marrying me in 1 calendar year, I'm not interested." Another said, "I'm interested in immediately having children." Mind you, these women are gorgeous and professionals that are in excellent position to be mothers. But come on, why would I want that kind of pressure immediately? I'm a human, not some job position you can immediately go after.
I will say that they also get more realistic with their demands from men. They start realizing that the traits in men that they looked for in their 20s don't matter as much. A lot of people get wiser as they get older, less superficial, and so on.
But in my experience, these are the main things that'll work most for men in their 30s: educated, good job, no kids, decent looks. The same things you want from a woman, they want from you. Forget about the women who are looking for super specific traits in a checklist the size of a CVS receipt.
I went through the same thing with a 26 year old school teacher when I was in my early 40s. I had a daughter of my own and was literally in the middle of a divorce myself. We had only been dating for a few weeks, and she was already pressuring me for when my divorce was going to be final, so that she could tell her parents that she was dating someone.
Are you dating women in their 30s? Why??
Facts here
@@tyronevonchadleyBecause their women?? What the heck? Lol Some of you men take this age thing too far. You act like 30 is 60.
How do you approach those women?
Love your videoes -You present the subjects so well freshly, with your own point of views + at the same time maturely, its great
Courtney these videos are really insightful. You have really grounded, realistic advice and you back it up with facts and reality. 💙
I`m 30 male and after last breakup, I don`t care about dating anymore. Try to improve myself, lost a lot of weight, started reading and actually look into all relationships I had and mistakes I made. If something comes into future - great. If not well atleast I had fun.
That's the best advice ever. My mother used to tell me, if you want a quality woman, you need to be a quality man.
I do have to wonder. Is it mainly males who do such things at 30? Certainly feels like it....All im finding on dating apps at 31 is women with children instantly trying to lock me down into something as they realise they have made poor life choices. I feel like women over 30 still dont realise they could be the issue, whether its pickiness or baggage etc? What do you think?
You attract what you are. Best way to put it. Be your best self and do not chase, let them come to you. Be the magnet.
@@iRRichiee I would not date single mom. Had only one relationship with single mom, and it was really bad. Her ex was always in the picture and her children will always come first.
@@iRRichiee "All im finding on dating apps at 31 is women with children instantly trying to lock me down into something as they realise they have made poor life choices." = 100% right
Hello Courtney: Many years ago, I met a guy who said that men who have sisters are better at talking to women than men without sisters. On the other hand, my own sisters are enough to put anyone off women. Stay well and safe.
LOL, spot on. I have 3 older sisters and growing up as the youngest kid what I saw them do to each other and to men makes the "sisters" requirement hilarious. SMH but LOL, too.
Good to be aware how completely crazy some women are. AND you know the background of your sisters. I'm going to assume it wasn't dysfunctional, but who knows. Now, add into the female psyche who has come from dysfunction. (bad family life) It can get bad pretty fast. I'm a woman. A man who has sisters just knows so much more about women though. A man who wasn't around girls could be really really deficient in some ways.
I have two sisters and it's a shit show...😂
4 sisters here. And while I’d say it hasn’t helped me get girls (sisterly advice growing up was to be a ‘nice guy’ 🤦♂️), I am very proficient in weeding out low quality women.
Are their parents still happily married?
I was married from 28-38 to my ex with two stepdaughters that will both be adults as of this week. When the 2nd one turns 18, I’ll keep in contact with her as well as her older sister. After the divorce, I moved to the Southwest and just enjoyed being concentrated on me and doing what I wanted to do. I knew what red flags to watch out for and had patience on finding any new partner. Several months later, I started to talk to someone a state over that read the same Facebook post. After a couple weeks of messaging and hours long phone calls back and forth I made the 7 hour drive to physically meet her. We’ve been together ever since, 10 months as of earlier this week. She is 21 months older than me but that’s definitely ok with me.
glad you found new partner
I’m in my 50s, married, not in the dating pool, or hope to ever be again. However, your channel intrigues me! You’re very insightful. 🎉
Thank you my friend! So glad you’re here 🥰
The girl with the 26+ list of requirements really had me in the first half and then she just kept going and getting more delusional and unrealistic as the list went on smh ha
She will never find a partner and will end up having 42 cats growing old alone.
@@dukke888 One cat's name will be "Arm Muscles". One cat's name will be "Good Shoe Game". One cat's name will be "Bonus Italian". I'm sure her list will get up to 42+ by then.
Her very first requirement eliminated 85% of men.... Your tripping
@@dukke888, I feel sorry for the cats ;-(
No problem, she wants 8 dudes. Easy.
That last one with the young girls....What stuck out for me was the "Can't be jealous, lets me do whatever I want." No. This isn't a relationship. Relationships have boundaries. They are not unconditional love...they are rather conditional. If he's not a little jealous, and you can go drinking with a bunch of guy friends and wind up in bed with one....yeah...that's something he should care about. If you want to go to the club every night..then yeah. That might be an issue. If you want to wear skimpy clothing to a club in a bad neighborhood that is known for women being attacked, I am going to say something. Obviously, all this can be taken too far. Rules for Thee but never for ME isn't a relationship, either. But if you're not willing to sacrifice anything....that's an issue.
The way she phrased "can't be jealous, lets me do whatever I want" reads more like libido, not love.
She will end up old and alone.
@@butcho7492 For *her* sake I hope she grows up and realises what her attitude represents.
My first thought was to wonder how many of these requirements don't apply to her. I'm betting the majority.
And she wants an Italian man. They are extremely jealous as well as macho.
Let’s not pretend that women look as good at 32 or 42 as they did at 22. THAT is a big factor.
I know there are comments that said “dating becomes easier at 30 and now women want me” Yeah those are the minority that want you. Most women in their 20s are dating men in their 20s. Most middle age men are going to find out that a majority of young women aren’t into someone old enough to be their dad. I’m sure most 20 something women reject them/not in them. “I have a lot surrounding me”. That whole lot still doesn’t cover most of the women population and that includes young women. “A men peaks at 50”. Yeah for money cause 20-29 year old women don’t find 50 year old men sexy.
Interviewer: *"Did money used to have a big importance when you were younger?"*
Woman: *"Yes."*
Interviewer: *"What changed?"*
Woman: *"I grew up."*
That's real right there. Being able to recognize that with maturity comes a sense of reality. We know that how much money a man makes definitely matters to women in their 20s, but as you get older especially if you make your own money a woman definitely should start understanding that there are way more important things than that.
Amen Aaron!
Money is the main reason for divorce. If 1 person is making a lot more then the other it will lead to resentment. I think this is more women get desperate as they get older.
Money is also a reason a lot of men I kno aren’t even gettin into relationships/marriage… some ppl just have a money disease
Why does the “growing up” process take so long for some people? It’s almost as if being physically attractive prevents people from maturing and growing up.
@@scmseanit would be kids depending on one’s situation
dating gets harder as you get older ins the sense that you avoid things that you know dont work for you in your life. When youre young everything is new and exciting, and youll give almost anyone a chance, but much like your circle of friends, the tolerance for who you let into your life narrows.
I just hit 30 and the thing that's challenge is the the amount of women around my age that already have kids or are bitter from the bad choices they've made..I dont want to be a step dad or therapist.
Perfectly said!
I am in a long term relationship now but I agree that as you get older you become more self-aware and know what you want vs what you don't want. But I didn't necessarily judge that as making dating harder. While I was dating I actually preferred dating in my 30's than in my 20's.
@@andremotivation6561Of course most women have children by the age of 30. Fertility decreases after the age of 35 so it wouldn't be the best idea for a woman who wants to be a mother to wait till after 30 to start to try to have children. Since you're 30, you should seek out women in their twenties anyways.
My tolerance is at Zero. And I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.
I liked your video and subscribed. I like your approach when discussing this. I found it very empathetic. You didnt chastise the women or men, but instead discussed their point a view with kindness. Thankyou. Many channels usually make fun of people who respond and I think thats unfair. We are living in a world where there is a lot of broken hearts etc, and kidness is the light that will help people move forward. Good job
"I think a lot of women dont know what a man wants in a woman and think they want the same thing they do"
You have my complete and utter attention now.
A big issue for guys these days is Hoeflation. We need to work far harder than our fathers and father's fathers for a much lower quality of woman, hence why many of us just don't care anymore,
If you're reading this as a single woman who wants to be in a relationship, be less demanding and work on yourself so you are not such a turn-off to men, rather than demanding that men cater to your whims and giving little in return!
Hoeflation, now that's a brand new word!
@@kazuma7232But it describes the problem superbly. 👌
Wow, hoeflation...Could it also be the type of women you keep pursuing and then blame all women for being the same?
@@Eserr7856 point out where he said "all women". We'll wait.
@@kazuma7232it was, in 2018....
As a 32 year old married guy who has lived both the bachelor and married life, I can say these things from my perspective. Most women today have a dualistic sexual strategy, usually in their 20s they are winning in the dating game and men aren’t. So when men start to level up, they wanna make up for the lost time and also since men are not required to court women like they used to because sex is almost free nowadays, we are just reacting to the current situation. Men are masters at adapting, so we only react to what women allow. We see women get attracted to the Fboy or the guy with commitment issues so we become that. We see the nice guy get totally played so we avoid becoming that. Also with modern feminism being rife in society today, we don’t wanna be shunned for being more traditional men (modern women only want traditional values when it suits them). So ladies, it’s not the men, it’s (mostly) you.
I just turned 40, and can honestly say dating has gotten far, far easier for me as I’ve aged. When you’re a man in his 20s, the women in the same age range typically go for the older men with more security, finances, and life experience - and I don’t necessarily blame them for this. However, once we reach our mid-late 30s we’ve now (hopefully) become that older man.
Ergo, at 40 my dating pool is the largest it’s ever been. I can still attract women in their 20s, but also women around my age as well as older women. On the flip side, it becomes exponentially harder for women to date because we have so many more options.
From a credible study I read recently: the age women peak in terms of desirability? 18. For men? 50.
That’s a 32 year difference.
Yup - men who are married in general are more attractive as they have all these good attributes eg confidence, wealth wisdom… but then they are usually not available which can make them even more attractive. Hence there will inevitably ne affairs etc…..
@@1stMarDiv4341 I heard, years ago, that a woman's peak age was 29!
Anyway, I'm 56 and am a member of folk dance group and one of the ladies in the group, who is 48, has three adult daughters who are, or have been, in the group. The two older ones, both 25 and under, are very nice to me. They both showed up during an annual festival the past two years and were delighted to see me and hugged me when they did.
I guess it pays to stay clean-shaven and youthful faced!
@@FischerFan personally, I think 18 is way too young for a woman to peak and don’t really agree, but it’s well-known that men age far more graciously than women.
And good for you! I’m 40 but regularly get mistaken for early 30s. Avoiding the sun, hydrating, a good skincare routine, and eating plenty of unprocessed foods makes a world of difference!
@@1stMarDiv4341 It has been said, 'Men age gracefully. Women just get old.'.
Thanks for the good feedback. About a decade before I joined the dance troupe that I'm presently a member of, I had been involved in another dance group and in a totally different type of dancing.
Most of the ladies in that group were reasonable, but there were a few attitudes/drama queens who just had to be problematic.
I have yet to encounter that from any of the ladies in the current dance group.
RIGHT ON COURTNEY !! KEEP GOING WITH THE COHERENT PRESENTATIONS...
That third girl's list of expectations was a total rollercoaster right up until #20 where it just kept going down and soon plummeted beneath the surface of the Earth. I feel like a LOT of her current expectations were built off of whatever happened in that last relationship she was in and maybe a few of the preceding ones as well.
Probably because it's a list of requirements for men she's not attracted to.
These videos do a good job reinforcing why I gave up dating and just do my own thing now. People forget, dating isn't fun for men.
That’s exactly why i watch them. It just further confirms that my decision of not dating is correct.
Exactly. Women only have themselves to blame for the current dating market but won't take ACCOUNTABILITY for their INSANE standards!
@@AsurmenHandOfAsur i don’t think women care. I really don’t think they value men or relationships. They only care that their “needs” real or imagined are met.
Being autistic, I didn't really know what I was doing when I started trying to date. And it was a disaster. But now as I learn more about it, I am becoming increasing glad that I am no longer pursuing it. It sounds completely terrible.
Dating for women is a free night out. Just get an escort - at least you'll get something out of it. :)
Discovered your page a couple months back. Even as a married man I love your styling and fragrance recommendations. Makes my life easier. 🙌🏾
So glad to hear it! Thanks for being here 🥰
0:41 "So what *do* you think you bring to the table?"
Legend.😂😅
One thing that changed for the good as I got older, I don't put up with jealousy, possessiveness and/or always getting accused of things I didn't do or even think of doing for that matter! It's not about gaining or earning trust, it's literally a mental illness on a certain level. When I see these attributes pop up their ugly head, I'll give one warning and if and when it happens again that person is out of my life, gone. I had a couple ladies who had this attribute in the past and literally wasted years trying to fix it, it can't be fixed, at least not by me! Those years I'll never get back!
Being in your twenties is such a frustrating time and attempting to date makes it harder. I'm 32 now and I won't go too out of the way to date, I feel I got nothing to lose, I just enjoy single life.
Right on king
Shah dating isn't designed to work in a woman's favor after age 30. Also keep in mind men in their 20s have no money!! Women in their 20s own the dating market but it switches after age 30.🤷🏾♂️
I'm 35 and single and I actually feel the most confident I've ever felt in my life, I feel extremely secure and I know my self-worth based on alot of hard work and blessings in my life. I feel less anxious, insecure, and pressure than I did in my teens and twenties looking for a gf without knowing and loving myself. I feel free and confident, and I'm certain that I will attract the woman I deserve one day. Stay strong king 🤴
Fine dude you do you. Just find nowadays got internet and stupid reality shows like love island that makes it difficult for average man. I'm not saying give up on dating just realise times are changing & not everything goes way ppl want it to anymore
I think a lot of women want to have fun in their 20s with Fboys and want a good guy that they ignored in their 30s. No malice towards women here. Just my observation.
Unfortunately I do tend to agree. Not all women of course, but enough to observe it frequently lol
@CourtneyRyan and it's why men after 30 date younger. Since basically they also know that these women at that age only like you because the men They actually want won't settle for them. Why be second place in her mind and soul. Leads to future misery.
For both men and women, If you aren't first, you're last. Never let anybody make you feel like you are option number 2, 3, 4. If it seems like that, do yourself a favor and remove yourself from the equation
Men do the same, they want to see their wild oat whatever that means and then get mad that a 20 year old virgin doesn't want them when they are 40 and want to settle down.
This isn’t true. I wish more of you redpilled dudes would be honest. I’m a woman in my 20s. Myself and most of my friends are serious about commitment. Hell, I don’t know a single woman (regardless of age) that prefers to be casually dated as opposed to having a boyfriend/husband. The real problem is, most young men are taught to run from commitment and instead spend their youth sowing their oats. It’s men that are taught to have fun then settle. Women have always been taught to prioritize serious commitment. If you notice young women giving up on that pursuit it’s because they realized boys their age aren’t serious.
Love your videos Courtney; keep them coming!
This real talk will save a lot of hearts from a lot of pain. Nice video! 😉
My wife n I have been happily together 22 years because we both align with one basic concept - RESPECT EACH OTHER. Literally, every positive aspect of our relationship, be it “trying what she wants even if it’s not my thing” or “her not making me feel like an idiot when I make a dumb mistake” stems from that single requirement!!! It literally leaves me speechless to see how so many individuals don’t get that!!!
You got lucky. You haven’t discovered anything magical. There are very few good females.
I am happy for your long and wonderful marriage may it last forever:)
Finding mutual respect with someone... It's a bit like finding a unicorn
25 years married (30 total) to an amazing woman, and mother. After becoming aware of the trainwreck that is modern women, no way am I ever taking my marriage for granted ever again. Let's honor these exceptional women by always striving to be our best selves.
Good for you but you haven't unraveled any type of mystery. You just found a woman that wants to be married and stay married. That's not the majority and I guess you could say that you got lucky.
I am currently single (32M) looking for a woman to start a family with. I am getting more disenchanted by the dating scene in general, but still not cynical enough to give up. The women seem to have different priorities and want short term fun rather than a family (I am in a position where I can support one), so I get sad at times. The right one will come along if I work on myself and make an effort to meet her =)
Why waste time here when u can go find a great woman elsewhere. Hope is not a strategy. Be intentional especially with something that important that could literally change your life forever.
Yeah just don't count on western women too much, and if they say they support feminism/liberalism just say 'next one, pls'.
I'm in the same boat. None of these women are interested in settling down with 9 to 5 average guy and have children. They are all chasing top tier men or bad boys.
Consider under 25, no college, stay at home to raise children, more likely to stay loyal if you Passport Bro source her. I highly recommend verifying she can detect disrespect towards you from her western "friends"/neighbors and despises feminism, so they don't get to your lady, turning her into your enemy within, thus avoid my fate.
@@CheeseOfMasters im a feminist.. is instant disqualification.. ..
Very nice, clear and thought provoking ep
The guy brought a great point about the man being established. From what I see is that if a man goes a long time without companionship or had to go through a lot to build himself up without female support, or had so much taken from him from a female that guy more than likely to not settle down. He worked his ass to get to where he is and isnt going to let a woman leech or "build" with him because he built himself. And he knows he can do better and doesnt mind being single for a long time
Young attractive 18-25 will say the same damn thing, "I can do whatever I want to do" women are in their prime at that age. Men hit their prime at their mid 30s and older. Why should they settle down all of sudden??..
I relate to everything you just said...but I'm a women; it's such a hard thing for all the reasons you said regardless of being a male vs female
Women don't want the 22 yo guy with ambition who currently lives in a small apartment and eats ramen noodles.
They want the same guy who is 42 who accomplished much with nothing and is now successful.
Women want to wait at the finish line for winners. They have no interest in doing the hard work to get them to the finish line.
Most men who hit 30 have already given up on women .
What would a man want with an old must likely obese women? Sex is out and children are out .
Spend money and be treated like crap for a women you don't want to have sex with.?
Why?
@@protorhinocerator142 and then think it’s wrong when those same men will use women, just like those women are using them.
Thank Courtney! Yes! Do one about men and dating as we get older. I'm 48 and just went through a bitter divorce. We have 3 kids and I plan to spend the next 2 years working on re-building myself, my career and being there for my kids. I'm still deeply hurt and can't bring anything to a relationship right now. Still, I WANT a good woman and serious commitment at some point. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. Thank you! 🙏🏼🙂
Sorry to hear you're going through that, brother. That sounds messy and frustrating. You deserve a loving partner though and I trust that you will find it after you get through this. Brighter skies are ahead :)
Just don’t get married again learn the lesson
In one day, I had two guys describe how their ex wives pulled the rug out from under their lives, and then a friend texted me to say that he found out his girlfriend has been cheating on him while he’s been out of town working.
3 guys in ONE DAY!
No wonder guys are opting out altogether.
I’m with you bro. 36 turning 37 in July & just filed for divorce with my ex wife. Been trying online dating recently. Only problem is last time I dated other women was almost 10 years ago! Dating has become SO different compared to now. Idk, it seemed so simple & easy in HS, college & your first few years as a professional. But now? It’s like you’re on thin ice! Make the slightest wrong move & you’re doomed 😫
@@andrewdoub5145 27 yep be glad you even got to date like that in high school it’s like pulling teeth today you wanna go dancing and have a nice dinner they act like you just said you were gonna pelt her with rocks 😂
It's not just that many women don't know what men want; it's that many women think we're *wrong* to want it. Some things, to be sure, are wrong for the stereotypical man to want. But even wanting a woman to know how to cook or clean is considered a bad thing nowadays.
😊😊My nephew ( construction worker) married a nursing student. He currently works part time, remodels the home, and takes care of the children. She is a full time surgical nurse. It works for them.
If I ever get in a relationship with a woman again, I'm going to be like, "ok, here's the deal. You're going to hold me to the same standards you hold yourself to. Far too many times it's been a "I can but you can't" situation.
That part
But we both can't be stay-at-home parents at the same time
For example?
I'm talking about things like specific rules being set for you, but the person you're with doesn't have to follow it. Like, I was once told "if you can't let me be myself, I can't be with you." Same person wouldn't let me be MYSELF.
Another example... Being told "that's your job" when it comes to household chores, then them wanting you to do THEIR chores.
@@user-mj3kx3dr9e I see. I though they were things that were more severe like, "I get to still date other people and you can't" or "I get to smoke and you can't", etc.
Not only were that young woman's demand ludicrously excessive and self entitled but the incredible hubris and narcissism she portrayed in believing that she was worthy of whatever she demanded without any self awareness was the real eye opener.
If I were all those things she wanted and actually found her attractive I still wouldn't go near her with a 20 foot barge pole!
What a terrible human being.
She's so thin she wouldn't be able to take a barge pole. You win!
I'm 21/27 on her list and agreed, wouldn't go anywhere near that. WTF, I'm never allowed to object to what she's doing? Obviously she has no clue how a relationship works. I bet her friendships are all hella transactional and superficial.
7:30 I take that laundry list as fantasy wish list (they were in a lite hearted mood), not necessarily to check every box, and most of those qualities are proper priorities.
I like that she is charitable and does not say nasty things about these girls
The value of physical appearance and fitness is so understated these days. People don't want to put in the work, but they want someone who has and then blame the dating culture on their lack of success.
You might be an absolute catch. But if the people you are attracted to aren't attracted to you, they won't be willing to find out.
Yes. There are so many men who could be great boyfriends and husbands but they do not work on their physical appearance AT ALL. They show up looking like a troll and wonder why women are not attracted to them.
@@la6136and then you have people that look nice but aren't " fun "
Your pretty much screwed
And then when you date someone you can't really know how they will treat you
Many woman make the mistake of falling for the fun guy because he made her feel " pretty"
And woman swear their intuition is the guide to a healthy relationship..
Golden basic knowledge
@@la6136 um proof ? That goes for woman actually 💀 who wears makeup to make themselves look better ? Men or woman ? Woman ? Who uses filters all the time on filters men or woman? Woman smh nothing but a ad homeman burden proof of fallacy Hitchens razor nice try tho
@@la6136 lmao that goes both ways.....look at the number of wives that decide they dont need to "try' for their husband.
Here's my list for what I want in a woman as requirements:
1. Isn't morbidly obese because I want a long life with her without the medical complications that brings.
2. End goal of the relationship is marriage and kids with lots of bedroom intimacy to achieve that.
3. Respects me as an individual, my hobbies, and my friends and won't make me abandon them when they're a positive influence in my life.
4. Respects my money and is responsible with hers (when dating) as well as my own.
That's it. I do have preferences but they're not deal breakers such as having 1:1 shared hobbies, hair color, ethnicity, etc. because at the end of the day what matters is that our goals are compatible and aligned.
Well on the hair color one are you talking about real hair color or just hair color in general. Because if you don't care about hair color, I'll steer you away from the blue ones, because they don't believe in any of those lol
Hey that looks a lot like my list. I've been told it's super unrealistic and controlling!
LOL - no woman is interested in any of that. You have 4 items, they have 300.
@@zacharybigger4144 Yeah thats the list for all of us guys. Yet, no female fits that list. It's like searchin for a rainbow puking unicorn pegasus but all there is are horses. Use the horses for what they can provide. Stop seearching for mystical animals and focus on yourself 👍
You lost her at wanting to build a relationship toward marriage, the type of men women want typically do not openly say that because they are sought after by many women and saying that is like saying many women don't want to be your wife, which isn't attractive. Like when a woman says she doesn't want kids, no, she does, just has to be with HIM before she does, once she's with HIM, then she'll be ready for kids. Men of high value do that to women, but with marriage.
She said she is loyal and a good communicator. That isn't so bad
I have an older sister and no woman ever even asked. My second wife hated my sister.
Dating is more difficult when you get older because people get fed up with romance and start avoiding it. I get it, but I don't abide with that. I desire an intimate mate/friend/confidante. I'm getting up there, I'd like to get this right before I go.
I think those two girls just had a preference for a sister. Different people want different things. I'm not surprised that your one wife hated your sister. I've dated men with nice sisters but i've also dated men who had very jealous female family members who were threatened by me (creepy yes but also not uncommon).
@@lindseyw9192 Yes, my sister and former wife were locked in a power struggle. What fun memories. No Ferrytale
@@lindseyw9192 Yes, you are right, my sister and former wife were locked in a power struggle. What fun memories. No Ferry Tale ending.
@@x-man5056 thats awful, im sorry. i hate when family betrays you like that (and with the intention of being closer)...any time someone tries to control anything, theyre basically pushing it away instead so you might as well just stop
but yeah, I hate to say it and i'm not sure if you tried, but that was definitely up to you to put your sister in her place and make boundaries (im only mentioning it because u said you're still looking incase that comes up again). Super unfair to you, but a lot of women have to endure this power struggle with their spouse's family members alone and that never goes well. Wife has to be the priority (it's in the Bible because, well, it's usually the mom getting in the way but it's literally a problem as old as time).
@@lindseyw9192 Thank You for your thoughtfulness but my sister died 5 years ago. That former wife lives on the opposite side of the country now. That's just barely far enough.
I have talked to a LOT of women and went on dates with a bunch. Only 1 admitted she caused the divorce by cheating. "My ex was a narcissist, control freak, had mental issues, cheated, etc." One or two simply claimed that they grew apart. It took a few vids like this to realize that I was being fed a line or two.
I've dated so many divorced women I've lost track. Most of them say their ex was the problem, a narcissist etc. I run when they say that now.
@@mediocreman2 So....all of them?
@@mediocreman2 It's a standard thing they say to make it look like they aren't horrible monsters who divorce good guys when they get bored of them.
Nobody calls them on their BS, so they keep saying it.
When are people going to just say marriage isn't natural and that only people who actually have faith in God should get married, man or women, of course you'll break your oath to God when you have no belief in him, that's a lot of women that have no true faith. The strongest men in history did not just marry one woman, they had hundreds.
Yeah,. it's MEN who are perfect,. never cheat, never have mental problems or anger mangem,ent issues. It's always "that bitches' fault", right? BOTH men & women can screw up a marriage.
It really has become easier to date as I have become older. My current GF is 12 years younger than me. We recently got into a bit of a tiff because I wasn't playing games. She thought I didn't care about her trying to anger me, as a prank. I told her, that she's being ridiculous, I don't acknowledge the games because I don't want to play them. She apologized and we moved forward. I explained that she's only 25, I have seen it before, we laughed about it. She just gets so many things that American women do not get. I love her.
Good for you Bro! All happiness to you both. 🤜🏽
It does get easier for men but much harder for women.
She was trying to anger you? What a toxic woman! Get away from her.
Yo with full respect it sounds like you two are at VERY different points in life and in mental/emotional development. A 12 year age gap is one thing but you are basically dating a teenager in a 25 year olds body, as a 37 year old. If I may give my honest opinion that relationship is toxic, predatory, unhealthy, or bound to fail. If not now, then this will develop with time. Be careful.
I may not know y'all's situation but congrats on that bro!
I’m a 30 year old woman that’s single. I don’t have any children or a ton of relationship baggage. Dating has been rough. All of the men I’ve dated have been around my age. I’m in a drastically different place now than when I was in my 20’s. I definitely didn’t pick the best partners in the past. Now however I have a hard time meeting people because I’m so burnt out from work. My social battery is usually on E so I definitely could put myself out there more. I don’t use any of the dating apps and spend most of my weekend either at home, or making new friends, finding love just takes time I don’t have. To everyone else out there in a similar boat, don’t give up! Love will find you when you least expect it
Fantastic content! Thank you!
Dating nowadays is similar to watching a hamster running on the wheel… we keep going in circles
😂😵💫
that’s because women need to chill with there crazy expectations… look if the makes you happy n you like him, that should be enough
First girl mentioned all the things a girl thinks guys want. She's wrong.
They want looks & compatability (if they want a relationship). And all other things being equal, they'll go for the younger girl.
You have an amazing knowledge of dating and also about relationships and are fabulous in explaining things in a fluid and interesting manner. I believe that you are very balance and intelligent and a down to earth people person.
She's ignoring that women's choices to burn through their value as a long-term partner when they're young is the primary reason dating is harder when they're older.
In society, men's value in relationships starts low and rises, while women's start high and drops.
As a 41 year old male, Im just going to throw the idea out there that the reason men like to date younger is the proportion of women over the age of 35 that arent obese, or moderately overweight, is relatively small. A woman in her 40's thats in great shape is literally a unicorn.
Definitely do a video about the male perspective.
I am 27 and single. I dated during most of my 20s. From my experience, it was challenging since I met most of those women through dating apps. Looking back, the positive relationships I had were with the women that I did not meet on the apps.
I am currently taking a break from dating to focus on finalizing my education and to get ready to start my career. I am happy with that decision since I am starting to see the fruits of success. Eventually, I will get back into dating because I want a happy, healthy, fulfilling relationship with a woman. I hope and dream that I will meet a woman who wants the same thing, and who was also serious about her career goals and education. I don't know if dating will become more challenging for me, but I do know that I am not going to give up!
An idealistic perception of modern women is very, very dangerous for men. Be under no illusions, a woman will be interested in you for as long as you have resources she can utilise and/or benefit from. The moment you lose your job, get sick, or whatever, she'll be off. And that's if she hasn't monkeybranched to a "better option" before. I had a similar outlook to you a few years back, and appreciate that the advice is probably not welcome, but look after and improve yourself first and foremost and be incredibly wary of any woman who comes into your life.
If you want nice relationship than remove dating apps there you wind damaged goods.
Exact same experience as me then.
27 but now in a relationship.
I played the field on dating apps successfully but none of them were overall positive experiences. The only ones that I actually liked were from night game cold approach.
I did a lot of online dating and I found that if it was a paid site, like Match, I got less total dates but much better quality people. When it was a free app, I got more dates but the quality was bad and more women just wanted to 'test the waters' or play around and check temperatures as opposed to being committed to finding a partner. Looking bad I think it was a good experience using the free apps, as in dating practice and perspective, but all the good people were from paid sites.
@@YelluzUnfortunately there's a lot of women who view the man providing for them as part of the "transaction".
But it's not all women, definitely not me. I built a career so I could provide for myself and focus on meeting the right person for the right reasons. I think it's unfortunate many men and women would leave a partner for such shallow reasons... That is not love.
There are a lot of people with insecure attachment in the dating pool (both men and women), and the older you get, the higher the percentage of those with insecure attachment style because all the secure ones tend to have paired up. I think everyone needs to work on healing their attachment wounds and becoming more secure in themselves. The more secure you are, the less likely you'll attract/be attracted to insecure types, and even if you don't find anyone your life will be all the better for it. It was the biggest life changer for me, and I'm in a happy healthy relationship for the first time in my life. According to research, most divorces are due to insecure attachment from either both or one of the partners. Most secure couples tend to stay together.
A lot of guys just dont give a crap anymore. It has nothing to do with that in many cases.
brilliant analysis, I checked into that, and it clearly affected me
@@borisvukcevic1454 No say you don't care, but you have nothing to offer but a crap attitude.
I’ve found that dating in my 30s has been easier and more enjoyable BECAUSE I know what I want, my values, and my standards
where's your husband?
It's true. When you are young, you are still figuring things out that can only be gained with experience. Not everyone can be a straight-A student.
By the way you look, yes, you still can hookup easily, but you wont get a serious relationship because guys your age will go for younger one. I am 28 and no way I am going my age. Most of them are used up way too much. Heck, even 18 years old today are damaged thanks to social media
dating in your 30s? i really dont want to be rude, but youre "a loser" in the dating market place. Youre very beautiful for what i can see tho, you can still secure a "good guy". If you want healthy children you need to hurry up (after 35 medicine says is a geriatric pregnacy)... and again i dont pretend to be rude, but forget about top guys at your age, those guys are dating 21s to 26s at most. Aim for 35 to 45 guys.
I wasn't able to date in a healthy way until my 30s due to my upbringing not allowing me to discover myself. Once I finally caught up with life financially, emotionally, health-wise, I started opening up and I probably just got really lucky but I found a man who's idea of life allign with mine incredibly well. From lifestyle to the major decisions to values and interests. Similar way of showing love and affection and great communication. I feel he meets every standard I had and didn't even think off. No compromise, just years of nothing but an absolutely blessing being part of each other's lives.
The anxious little girl in me has been waiting 7y for the other shoe to drop but is hasn't.
“I’m ambitious, independent, motivated, self reliant, driven”. All things men couldn’t care less about and some would say are red flags.
Yep. It's pure projection, and solipsism. That's what she's looking for in a man, so she believes that's what a man is looking for from women. [Really makes one question the female capacity for _empathy,_ as well]. This is only made worse because she's been fed the lie of "equality" (which equates to the absurd notion that men and women are essentially interchangeable, with no fundamental differences) all her life. Newsflash: we are *not* the same!
For that second girl, you pretty much hit the nail on the head. It was the type of man she was going for. If you think about the type of men 24 year olds like, she basically went and found a 39 year old version of that. This is a lot of women’s biggest problems in dating. They are absolutely Terrible at picking a good partner. Not all, but most. By the time most finally figure it out these guys are already married or dating much younger women!
LETS TALK 🆙..,,,
So they go to plan B.
Try to break up the marriage and make the hot guy available.
I agree. People are absolutely terrible at picking their spouses. Even worse, they'll often run away from GOOD partners because they're too "boring." Opposites may attract initially, but they'll crash and burn later.
It's difficult to explain just how easy dating has become for me since turning 30. Once I put the link to my property development company website on dating apps the number of girls messaging was so overwhelming I took myself off the apps. Adding that literally 10x the number of matches I got
During the last few months I've met over 50 girls, and had to put a stop to it as I wasn't getting anything else done
The response I got once it was clear I have money was the final nail in the coffin of how I see women - most are opportunistic gold diggers, fine for a few casual meets but adding precious little value to my life beyond that
I don't want to disagree too hard, but it's not just the money. If you have set up a business, you have proven you have a lot of other qualities which are rare, so there is low risk of you being a bad pick. You also bring her instant social prestige. The question is what does she bring.
I think opportunistic Golddigger is a bit too cynical. Yes, there probably are some people who are golddiggers but the reality is having a portfolio of rental properties means that you don’t necessarily have a job, but have access to income. Yes, I know there is some labor involved, but you are not generally speaking trading time for income.
In other words, you offer something much greater, and that is options. For instance, I run my own law practice. Going on vacation is stressful for me because it means leaving my work. For you, particularly if you are utilizing property management companies, this really isn’t as much of a concern. Therefore, the option of being able to travel or enjoy their remote working life with you is an option.
@@jasonwilkins1969 I do agree with you on this - girls want a man who has a good life which he enjoys and she can be a part of
My point is that I found dating apps pretty tough, like most guys, but when I decided to flex and lead with the money, it all became super easy
@@LeoRegum Good question. Something a girl did recently that really impressed me was cooking for me and my construction workers, I gave her money to buy ingredients and she made a delicious meal
The guys really appreciated it, she saved me a lot of time and it made my life easier
like my dad always said "the type of fish you attract depends on what kind of bait you use."
9:00 - Totally agree. If I went for my expected type, having the same tastes, the same interests, etc. then my wife would have been disqualified.
She was the right match because she’s loyal, values peace over conflict, and we want similar things in life… on top of being a good person, and being physically attractive is always a nice bonus.
I feel extraordinarily luck when I watch videos like this. I went to a football party met a girl, dated for three years got married and had three children and have lived happily ever after. Celebrating our 32nd wedding anniversary this year and retiring. It was so easy.
You are lucky, but we are not unlucky. Things are harder for us but our memories and experiences are rich, same as yours c:
I'm 44, i gave up on women 15 years ago. I haven't had a date since or cared about women, i want nothing to do with them, they are a liability and a pain. I haven't felt anything in a long time. It's not that i'm bad looking, i'm fairly athletic, i take care of myself and dress well, i make a decent living, i just don't care.
that's the ultimate freedom. Guys spend so much time and energy and resources chasing after women, a lot of it is wasted and leads to emotional despair. I wish I had no sex drive or longing for companionship. Then I could give up entirely like you have.
@@-TE-LE-GEAMRealCourtneyRyan.. There isn't much to say, other than i already did.
@@sfresh79 You are talking to bots? WTF is wrong with u
@sfresh79 you just responded to a bot...
I'm 56, and knew the writing was on the wall by the time I was 20. After developing feelings for a female store clerk who worked across the street from my workplace when I was 29, I decided to give it one more try. It wasn't to be. I was left haunted for a number of years.
In the wake of the devastation, friends tried to involve me with women....women I didn't want. I came to distrust set up attempts by people and now, after realizing I'm not going to be conned, they have learned to leave me alone.
I've hit a point where i don't want to date women my age. The mistrust and baggage and constant jealously due to their awful past relationships is a real drag. I treat everyone i meet as a new person.
I've recently started dating again as a 30 year old after a very long term relationship. I've met a few of these women who expect me to prove in many ways that I'm not a scumbag because of some past trauma theyve experienced from chasing bad boys in their early 20s. If they enter dating with their guard up so high, they aren't ready to date.
@@ASKFRANK1992 yeah it's a drag for sure. I'm turning into the guy that says "All women my age...blag blah blah" and I feel bad.
@@kaiser8843 you shouldn't feel bad. For practically all of human history, stable marriages were started with women in their early to mid 20s at the latest. It's not an accident. The notion that dating should require a decade of 'exploring' to figure out what one values is absurd, and just another sign of the stunted development of most modern adults. Men in their early 20s were changing the world in the past. Women were starting large families. Now, it seems crazy for 'successful' people to start a family before 30. You're perfectly justified to not want to date women your own age when they failed to understand their own biology and the male psychology that their ancestors and prior cultures understood just fine. There are multiple reasons men who want healthy, monogamous relationships aren't focusing on women in their 30s with plummeting fertility, a decade plus of emotional baggage that no one man can remedy, and who knows how much sexual history that will absolutely threaten the health of a monogamous sexual commitment. Modern men have every incentive to pursue younger women who stand a decent chance to make healthy families, not cheat on their partner, and form a stable bond. Women have been lied to believing they can get away with behaving otherwise, and men aren't the bad guys for responding accordingly.
@@kaiser8843you should only feel bad if it's untrue. I know how you feel. I just got through dealing with a co-worker that was one year younger than myself but still acted like a child.
And that's why I date younger.
"I know what I being to the table"
"What do you bring to the table?"
"I don't know, that's a loaded question"
“Specifically Kid Cudi” LMFAO 😂
The 3rd one just made all my hopes of a relationship and a family in the future plummet. My ex had a similar list and I just happened to check like 90% of it. I know that people are allowed preferences, but these are shallow requirements based mostly on genetics and chance rather than a person's own qualities. The biggest issue is that girls like that usually don't hold themselves at that standard (my ex, like the girl in the video, was a smoker, and she didn't want a smoker), and that standard comes from a history of heartbreak, promiscuity or even abuse, and it doesn't tend to last long.
Come on dude she was young. Every year that goes by, that list will get smaller.
That girl was like 19.
@@LordHolley The list will get smaller the same way her ability to bond and have children will.
@@garfieldGG So?
@@LordHolleyNot a valid excuse.
Now at 32 she knows what she wants. Uh huh. And guys who are 32 know what they want, and it's not her.
If she was making the same money at 32 as she was at 22, she would not accept a man making less money.
It is not her attitude that has changed it is her income relative to the mans income that has changed.
Like you point out they build this huge list of expectations over time which becomes pretty unrealistic because at that point they're literally looking for the perfect diamond in the rough that might not even really exist and there's no flexibility. People really need to learn to be a little more flexible and realize nobody is perfect! There are going to be faults, sometimes you just got to either work around that or work on it but don't have these strict all or nothing mindset. The best situation is finding someone where you both can complement each others faults, essentially like yin and yang
I’ve just discovered this channel and that third clip…her reaction to that video is classic “Good luck” I’m dying over here. Recently single too after a long term (20 year) relationship and getting into the dating game now is absolutely wild
In my experience as a man, it has gotten easier to date as I've gotten older. I assume there's a limit, say late 50's. For me, dating was significantly tougher as a teen or twenty-something. In my thirties, I had more options. Now, I'm married and in my 40's and I can't imagine trying to date again.
Dating in 50s is easier if you are not chasing 20 somethings. It is too late for more kids for most men.
@@External2737 Good to know.
You will be dating soon enough when she divorce you and take half your stuff.
If youre attractive overall, itll be easier to date as a man as you age. If youre not, itll always be hard.
I'm 41 years old now. I haven't dated much because I have cptsd. The anxiety gets me the worst. I cool with it now but it was definitely an issue iny earlier years. Getting married is not something I think I want. I'd rather get a cat and live in peace! My ideal living place would be in the middle of nowhere but with all the modern comforts.
Love the discussion.
Watching this videos makes me reflect on my own preferences, and it's making me realise that I'm not looking for a particular trait or whatnot out of... well, preference, but out of life-long deficiencies. This realisation is something I need to work with so that I don't... well, settle for less, or worse, make *her* settle for (even) less.
Ladies often ask me why I never married. I never had a good response. The truth of it was hard for me to summarize. But you summarized it quite well. I never did put a priority on socializing. My tendency is to be a homebody. Even so, I have been taking steps to rectify that.
Sometimes ladies ask me what's wrong with me, which I've come to realize is the same thing. They think I'm a catch and are trying to figure out why I've never been caught. I usually reply something silly, like, "absolutely nothing", or like, "lots of things, but I'll never tell". And I allow a grin to grow on my face, and maybe even laugh.
You’re lucky. My whole life nobody EVER asked me if I got married. People that I went to high school, who I haven’t seen in years, don’t ask that and honestly it really hurts because the way I see it, they probably already know I’m not seeing anyone.
I said "often", only because it feels uncomfortable every time. It might have been about once every couple of years. I think it's because I'm usually upbeat and positive. I try always to enjoy life. And learning a sense of humor really helped a lot. And I pay little attention to those who do NOT like me. Why waste energy on them? There are thousands more for me to meet.
One reason I never married is that the only women to express an authentic interest in me were married at the time. 🤔
Gave a woman of my love a choice, either follow me or follow your career! She took the ladder. 8 months, after all the fun, carousels, an arrest, depleted bank account, her getting fired, and living on her friends couch! Guess what?! She was pleading to take her back. I didn't even recognize this person anymore. She truly did suffer without me! But hey, she made that choice! My new wife is 24, and is miles ahead in every department! Stay at home, love, femininity, and most importantly respect!
Sharing my thoughts as a middle aged man... I did NOT care about a woman's ambition. Never have. Any man I know, in my experience, could fall in love with a cashier. What always stood out to me was her looks (at first), followed by her kindness, thoughtfulness, and overall pleasant and affectionate personality. Plenty of times, my dates would be catty, annoying, or just plain difficult. It feels like they mostly believe by having strong opinions or acting as a 'challenge' to men it is someway to feel 'independent' or a 'catch'. A big turn off. Lastly. The most important thing to me for long-term success would be ones values. We don't need to like the same music, art or hobbies. I dont judge anyone negatively for their interests. In fact, I don't think we should be 'alike'. I'd prefer to have someone who compliments me, is kind, and can be part of my world and vice versa. Much better than being homogenous, doing everything together.
The expression on your face was super-priceless. Even you were shocked, with the girl that had 74 requirements. LOL. Some of them were downright unrealistic: "I can do whatever I want" was one of them. These women are not looking for a "messy life"/life partner: they are looking for a ROBOT that they can program all these requirements into. Relationships are doomed, really they are. People have astronomic, atmospheric expectations; where is the humility? Nowhere to be seen.
One caveat:
It’s not “people” who have unrealistic expectations.
It’s “women” who have them.
Should have asked her “What do you bring to a relationship”? Bet she wouldn’t have 10 things on her list.
After 21 years of marriage, I'd recommend the first criteria on your list of qualities for a future spouse is finding someone who can tolerate you and all your flaws. If you don't think you have any flaws, or that you can hide them, stay single.
Your analysis is spot on. Thanks. You're so much more articulate and mature than your age. 39 year old guy here.
Outside of the basic needs to survive, the 4 most essential parts of a relationship are;
1. Is she loyal?
2. Can she be trusted?
3. Can she communicate well?
4. Is she a giving person?
If not, then as a man, I'd prefer to remain single. These are 4 variants of any relationship are the most important to me. Men remember we have choices. Choose wisely.
I remember I was invited to a class by a woman I went on a date with. I got both our coffees, and when we sat down she told me I wasn't her preference. I go to the class and she introduces me to her tall boyfriend... in less than a week. Then In this class she encouraged people to come up with a list of what they wanted in a partner. Then she hands out a stack of papers that is her list for what she's looking for in a guy. I'm short, tall was on the list. So after this "class" is done, she passes around a basket for donations. She actually pushed the basket at me, so I told her, "It looks like you have enough for a couple coffees."
Women can be overt with their preferences while a man’s preferences get shamed. Just another day in a man’s world
My list:
1. Not you
What are you even rambling about
@@protorhinocerator142Ad homeman attack
@@kapsiHitchens razor death by author statements