How to Release Self-Criticism and Find Fierce Self-Compassion with Dr. Kristin Neff
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ก.ย. 2024
- “The difference is: loving yourself isn't contingent on making things better, you love yourself regardless. But because you love yourself, you're also going to take action to improve things at the same time.” Dr. Kristin Neff explains how crucial fierce self-love and self-compassion are right now. So often, givers put themselves last. But being fiercely dedicated to taking care of yourself is the only way to have the fuel to truly take care of others.
On today’s Broken Brain Podcast, our host Dhru talks to Dr. Kristin Neff. Dr. Neff is an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, and a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research. In addition to writing numerous academic articles and book chapters on the topic, she is author of the book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself and co-author of The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook as well as Teaching the Mindful Self-Compassion Program: A Guide for Professionals. She is also co-founder and board president of the nonprofit Center for Mindful Self-Compassion.
In this episode, Dhru and Dr. Neff dive into the negativity bias and why our brain is like velcro for negative information. They discuss why it is so easy to be overly hard on ourselves and the biggest hurdles that stop us from self-love. They also discuss empirical scientific research on the documented benefits of self-compassion. To wrap up the episode, Dr. Neff leads us through a powerful practice she calls “Working With Difficult Emotions.”
In this episode, we dive into:
- Dr. Neff and Dhru's background on getting into self-compassion (5:39)
- The power of checking in (9:08)
- Why beating yourself up or being overly hard on yourself isn't the best approach (15:48)
- Where self-criticism comes from (22:53)
- Where negativity bias comes from (27:14)
- The biggest hurdles that stop people from loving themselves (32:58)
- Empirical scientific research on self-compassion (37:50)
- The importance of wisdom (44:13)
- Breaking down our internal voice (48:42)
- Dr. Neff's personal story that led her to research self-compassion (51:08)
- How and why to have a dialogue with yourself (57:34)
- “Working With Difficult Emotions” practice with Dr. Neff (1:02:05)
- Where you can find more about Dr. Neff (1:10:40)
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Dr. Neff
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To learn more about her books: Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, go here: www.amazon.com... and The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook, go here: www.amazon.com....
To access Dr. Neff’s 5-minute “Self-Compassion Break” practice, go here: self-compassio....
To access Dr. Neff’s 15-minute “Soften, Soothe, Allow” practice, which is what today’s exercise was based on, go here: self-compassio....
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9:28
"Self esteem is a fair-weather friend. Self compassion is a true friend who's always there for you."
I like it.
I think that self compassion should be on the national curriculum. It also needs to be central in the training for those in the caring professions. If people really had compassion for themselves they would see no need to indulge in bullying, racist, sexist or homophobic behaviour. Such behaviour comes from a chronic mismanagement of fear.
Checking in on ourself every day, asking how we are doing, and what we need is an excellent practice.
I greatly appreciate Dr. Neff's work and leadership in Mindfulness Self-Compassion! Her first book on Self-Compassion (along with Chris Germer, PhD and her workbook) is nothing short of fantastic. I'm looking forward to reading her new work on the Ying and the Yang of Self-Compassion.
"Self Compassion is like a true friend, he is always there for you." Very true - taking the time to cultivate it can be life changing.
Lately I've been preoccupied with aging - & hating the inevitable physical and visible effects that go along with it. Then I dislike myself because I know I'm fortunate to have my sight, hearing and mobility. So many people are suffering out there... it's shallow and vain to worry about how you look all the time.
"most of the threats are not to our physical self but our self concept.." absolutely.
Threats to our sense of self or the self identity we think we are causes no end of suffering and conflict and reaction,learning to extend self compassion especially to the parts of ourelves that we feel insecure or ashamed or inadequate about are the most important parts to feel compassion for and then we are much less lightly to get into conflcit or anger or the general pain and anxiety that is such a part of so much modern society and espcially fear of rejection or fitting in
Even though she is a professor, she is a very natural loving human being
Love this, so much wisdom
Great flow and insight in your interview
Well Done guys
Thank you! I really like her work and also the way she talks about it! Thanks for sharing
I watch this video, and as I do,
so many thoughts arise in me...
mainly: I have severe C-PTSD,
I am an INFJ, and I have a very
fucked up relationship with my parents...
it's part of the reason
for the fucked-upness
that is my life. I am so ashamed
at the current state of my life.
I have no clue how to escape
the horrors of it. my life is fucked up
beyond imagination. what to do?
999-trillion layers of guilt and shame
and rage and regret and grief,
surface in me and consume me.
eating my soul alive...
amazing experince
Reference to 30:56 timestamp.
I think the term "normal" in reference to a secure/attached upbringing is not accurate. I think "optimal" is more correct. I think that "NORMALLY" we are all a little fucked up in our childhood.
Way too many ads
The average person in the street hasn't got time for all this new age bs. They're too busy just getting on with life.