The Science of Self-Compassion | Kristin Neff | Talks at Google

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ธ.ค. 2016
  • "Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself" is part memoir, part overview of the insights coming from Kristin Neff’s past 15 years of research. Self-compassion involves treating ourselves kindly, like we would a close friend we cared about. Rather than making global evaluations of ourselves as “good” or “bad,” it involves generating kindness toward ourselves as imperfect humans, and learning to be present with the inevitable struggles of life with greater ease. It motivates us to make needed changes in our lives not because we’re worthless or inadequate, but because we care about ourselves and want to lessen our suffering. This talk will present theory and research on self compassion, and discuss research indicating that self- compassion is a more powerful and effective motivational tool than self-criticism. A brief self-compassion practice will also be taught that can be used in daily life.
    Get the book here: goo.gl/DqCtP0

ความคิดเห็น • 99

  • @rebeccatolinmind-bodycoach
    @rebeccatolinmind-bodycoach 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Kristen Neff's work is brilliant and has dramatically improved my experience of myself and my life! It sounds simple but it's radical to acknowledge our emotional pain and offer ourselves kindness. She provides such a potent road map.

    • @user-nl9ne5gk6k
      @user-nl9ne5gk6k ปีที่แล้ว

      Ohh boo-hoo! toughen up, snowflake and go cry to your rabbi some more!

  • @joywilliams4014
    @joywilliams4014 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank you for being you and teaching us these tools. Sometimes I even hold my own hand. Tara Brach is also great to listen to. Love to all reading this. Be kind to yourself and never judge yourself 💕

  • @karenwhynott6487
    @karenwhynott6487 6 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    You Kristin Neff are helping so many ..this is the missing piece ..for me.. Love & gratitude.

    • @vipermad358
      @vipermad358 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      How many? Do you have statistics? This video just made me confused and angry.

  • @fabulouesfiftys5865
    @fabulouesfiftys5865 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    This has been a real life changing time discovering you and your talk 💕

  • @smile2126pink
    @smile2126pink 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    My counselor sent me here

    • @Gorrest
      @Gorrest ปีที่แล้ว

      Me too ❤

  • @masako5816
    @masako5816 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I bought your book. Not so easy to practice,but l 'll try to embrace myself with tender care.
    Thank you for publishing it.

  • @jasmin1773
    @jasmin1773 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I totally want to learn to fail with self compassion, rather than doing it without.

  • @lindahebb4832
    @lindahebb4832 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for posting

  • @Zgembo121
    @Zgembo121 7 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    wow great talk. her criticism of high self esteem is epic. thanks

    • @rockebanane
      @rockebanane 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      I am delighted to see your view on it as I think the same way about it :)

  • @s.vijaysekaran9238
    @s.vijaysekaran9238 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    guided exercise starts at 25:31. THANKS!!!

  • @moneymechanics77
    @moneymechanics77 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for writing and speaking about this subject!

  • @MarcMoini
    @MarcMoini 7 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    For a better understanding of self-esteem, that in turn allows self-compassion, I recommend Pia Mellody's videos.

  • @kensmapleleafretirement
    @kensmapleleafretirement 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Interesting talk. Thanks for sharing......

  • @datawizard130
    @datawizard130 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    So inspiring

  • @thehighpriestess8431
    @thehighpriestess8431 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    37:31 Mirror neurons. Self compassion creates new neuropaths for a much beneficial outcome... for you.

  • @DistortedV12
    @DistortedV12 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Wow that's kind of crazy because I requested this, and um it's here.

  • @creator2149
    @creator2149 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    In such trying times we all face.

  • @mariannegill4789
    @mariannegill4789 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I love the google colored shirt!

  • @lindahebb4832
    @lindahebb4832 ปีที่แล้ว

    Amen

  • @MariadelPilarDiezCalderon0910
    @MariadelPilarDiezCalderon0910 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Ir is pleasant to listen to you. Thank you very much for sharing.
    The colours and pattern of your top are similar to my mattress cover, futon.

  • @nicolesawler
    @nicolesawler 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you! Some additions - With the hand motions, the opposite options would be - fists clenched (excitement) and hands open to the ceiling (insecure, too much abdominal focus)

  • @gilstillalive
    @gilstillalive 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Amazing! I felt so much relief!

  • @Fadimercho
    @Fadimercho 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    The most intriguing issue with self compassion is that if one does not practice it and keeps doing the opposite he/she will end up treating others with the same harshness as he/she treats himself/herself...it is so true when you said treat others as you treat yourself...So the misgivings that you received at the early stages were in my opinion all wrong...thus why the research is affirming the facts now

  • @vipermad358
    @vipermad358 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "we" "we" "we". Speak for yourself.

  • @johndunnejnr
    @johndunnejnr 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Awesome talk!

  • @mrswowie
    @mrswowie 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    thank u im using it

  • @inspiringbirths
    @inspiringbirths 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you so much! 💕

  • @RaymondHogue1111
    @RaymondHogue1111 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    One of the lessons in ACIM is (paraphrasing a bit):
    God does not condemn. And no more do I.

    • @NoConsequenc3
      @NoConsequenc3 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      except for the whole eternal hell bit of course

    • @RaymondHogue1111
      @RaymondHogue1111 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@NoConsequenc3 don't know what you mean. But that's ok.

    • @user-nl9ne5gk6k
      @user-nl9ne5gk6k ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Too bad "God" is nothing but a mythical book character that only weak minded and brainwashed illiterates think is real!

    • @RaymondHogue1111
      @RaymondHogue1111 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@user-nl9ne5gk6k you are projecting

  • @chinmaydharurkar386
    @chinmaydharurkar386 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    any link to authentic research on this?

    • @stinkyboomboom
      @stinkyboomboom 7 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      If you google the text you have between brackets, you should see lots of studies.

    • @scottgreen132
      @scottgreen132 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This is a good paper to start with that has a lot of references and other papers citing that will provide a deep rabbit hole to dice down "RETHINKING THE EMOTIONAL BRAIN" by Joseph LeDoux

    • @user-nl9ne5gk6k
      @user-nl9ne5gk6k ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@stinkyboomboom "brackets"???? You mean QUOTATION MARKS? Jeez, this world is just way too full of weakminded, illiterate morons who should never speak nor be heard from!!

  • @chamade166
    @chamade166 7 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    She's adorable.

    • @tom474e
      @tom474e 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I was thinking the same thing. She is very pretty. Great talk too.

    • @9000ck
      @9000ck 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Probably because she is so compassionate toward herself...

    • @user-nl9ne5gk6k
      @user-nl9ne5gk6k ปีที่แล้ว

      WOW! You really must not ever see many woman and are so desperate to think that! What a LOSER!

    • @user-nl9ne5gk6k
      @user-nl9ne5gk6k ปีที่แล้ว

      @@tom474e if you think that, you either need glasses, or up your standards!

  • @mekaphilly5148
    @mekaphilly5148 ปีที่แล้ว

    Excellent presentation!

  • @eileendelany2346
    @eileendelany2346 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I am trying to learn about Self Compassion I am looking at you Video this morning. I am enjoying your Video. Congregations to you on the talks you do. Kristian Neff's Do you have any plans to come to The Rep of Ireland?????. to do with talks in Ireland????. Thank you so much.

  • @oxydizeIs5k
    @oxydizeIs5k 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Why should we change how we 'talk to ourselves'.? No body else will care!~ And they will continue to insult and make fun.

  • @sebastianking5157
    @sebastianking5157 7 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    yo I felt determined when I clenched my fists lol

    • @fighterpilot12
      @fighterpilot12 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      lol

    • @anz10
      @anz10 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Lol but if you kept that up for another 30mins you would feel tense and burnt out

  • @helgal.3081
    @helgal.3081 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you Kristin.

  • @qiugezhang6847
    @qiugezhang6847 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    She is a great psychologist and associated professor at university of a texas at Austin. Surprised that so few audience were attending and the host even didn’t introduce her properly as Dr. Kristin Neff, but saying her as “very special”. Why special? Sound like as if she is some fancy spiritual preacher?! Good job google.

    • @Historian212
      @Historian212 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Possibly a subtle sexism; in some cases, a woman scholar can be perceived more comfortably as "very special" than as a serious scholar.

  • @jalaluddin-rm9mn
    @jalaluddin-rm9mn 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Social media is also responsible for setting distorted standard of happiness through filtered image of events ........

  • @danghuy4505
    @danghuy4505 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you Google and Kristen Neff!

  • @kirin316
    @kirin316 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I wish I was capable of this. But nah

  • @lotgxj9215
    @lotgxj9215 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I don't feel like a sissy I feel stronger than ever like I'm not guilt tripping myself I'm reminding myself its ok and the world isn't perfect

    • @user-nl9ne5gk6k
      @user-nl9ne5gk6k ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You really needed someone to tell you the world sucks and IS filled with mostly selfish, insane, careless idiots and is NOT a place for the WEAK? Being soft doesn't help at all!

  • @radicalhonesty3628
    @radicalhonesty3628 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I watch this video, and as I do,
    so many thoughts arise in me...
    mainly: I have severe C-PTSD,
    I am an INFJ, and I have a very
    fucked up relationship with my parents...
    it's part of the reason
    for the fucked-upness
    that is my life. I am so ashamed
    at the current state of my life.
    I have no clue how to escape
    the horrors of it. my life is fucked up
    beyond imagination. what to do?
    999-trillion layers of guilt and shame
    and rage and regret and grief,
    surface in me and consume me.
    eating my soul alive...

  • @Dr.Pepper001
    @Dr.Pepper001 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Geez, I wish she hadn't mentioned Berkeley. I have this mental block....

  • @Historian212
    @Historian212 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    By "the Bible," Neff refers to the New Testament. There's an older formulation by Jesus' earlier contemporary, Hillel the Elder, that says: "What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow." This puts it rather more in line with what Neff is saying.
    (Hillel the Elder rose from poverty and obscurity to become the spiritual head of the Jewish people in the generation before Jesus. Hillel was a Pharisee, which casts serious doubt on the notion promoted by the NT authors that the Pharisees were all lying hypocrites. Hillel's wisdom, preserved through the ages in the Talmud and elsewhere, is still quoted today by people who never heard of him; he's the earliest source of the saying: "If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? But if I am for myself only, then what am I? And if not now, when?")

    • @vipermad358
      @vipermad358 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Confucius said it before either of them.

    • @user-nl9ne5gk6k
      @user-nl9ne5gk6k ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@vipermad358 Plus anyone who IS NOT BRAINWASHED knows that the "bible" is just another MAN MADE UP BOOK and IS filled with FICTIONAL characters and stories of NONSENSE!

  • @huydang9458
    @huydang9458 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you Google for having her

  • @vansan1129
    @vansan1129 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Uma boa discussão está aqui:
    th-cam.com/video/TYv30qJSDpg/w-d-xo.html

  • @catec.9088
    @catec.9088 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Aware Share Care is a quick, straightforward and powerful self compassion tool that you can use right this minute and every day. Check out this short video introducing Aware Share Care. th-cam.com/video/SbvYGj0169k/w-d-xo.html

  • @pedrotojuarez498
    @pedrotojuarez498 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    G-E-N-I-U-S!

  • @luisfebaez
    @luisfebaez 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Please put the subtitles in English

  • @vipermad358
    @vipermad358 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I do not want to be like "other human beings". Have you seen them? They really suck.

  • @ts3858
    @ts3858 ปีที่แล้ว

    Did they 'require' her to wear the Google colors...? Wtf

    • @user-nl9ne5gk6k
      @user-nl9ne5gk6k ปีที่แล้ว +2

      probably, they always try to sell that lame brand of garbage!

  • @StressRUs
    @StressRUs ปีที่แล้ว

    And just why do we so need a hug that we have to give it to ourselves? 45% of children born today, all 206,000 worldwide, are unplanned/unwanted. You should be able to make a fortune with all the self-hugging promos! Stress R Us

  • @vipermad358
    @vipermad358 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Women seem to always trivialize actual problems in one's life. I prefer the attitude of male therapists. They are more realistic and less 'touchy feely'.

  • @emmapinn6009
    @emmapinn6009 ปีที่แล้ว

    I can't believe every seat isn't full! They clearly didn't know who Kristin Neff is, there at Google

    • @user-nl9ne5gk6k
      @user-nl9ne5gk6k ปีที่แล้ว

      either that, or nobody wanted to listen to complete nonsense!

  • @foodwatermusic
    @foodwatermusic 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Too much dung might actually be too little dung.

    • @9000ck
      @9000ck 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      dung is super good organic fertiliser. learning to garden is an important life skill.

  • @So-in5xi
    @So-in5xi ปีที่แล้ว

    Self compassion teachings come from Buddha. Why don’t Westerners ever acknowledge this? So many people cashing in on Buddha’s teachings which are free.

  • @vipermad358
    @vipermad358 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is some gold-plated, white, middle class bullshit.

    • @ts3858
      @ts3858 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ha...lol...bitter much..?

    • @user-nl9ne5gk6k
      @user-nl9ne5gk6k ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ts3858 He's just mad, cause his big fat BF dumped him for some fatter, uglier guy and it's wrecked his ego a wee bit! lmao

  • @vipermad358
    @vipermad358 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    What is with these fools and their ubiquitous "audience participation"? I LOVE MAKING FISTS AND YOU ARE WRONG, LADY! Also, I don't need your "permission" to do ANYTHING.

  • @errrika1984
    @errrika1984 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Are all her talks on TH-cam the same exact thing, just a different background??? I was hoping this was new different info, but she's repeating the same thing word for word

    • @anandprahlad699
      @anandprahlad699 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thanks. I won't check out the other ones.

    • @rrahmanian
      @rrahmanian 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      This one was the most helpful among those I watched. I think what matters is practicing and nurturing this as a new skills. The fundamentals are probably the same.

    • @jalaluddin-rm9mn
      @jalaluddin-rm9mn 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Because she is expert on this subject ......That's why

    • @user-nl9ne5gk6k
      @user-nl9ne5gk6k ปีที่แล้ว

      @@jalaluddin-rm9mn "expert"? ANYONE can go tell people to love, hug, and B.S. themselves! It doesn't make them an "expert" and it doesn't mean the B.S. works!
      Ask her if she is married and has kids and has ever dealt with REAL FAMILY problems and how she has dealt with it all, without turning to opioids, a bottle of alcohol, heroin or some drug, drink, pill or bad habit!
      Bet she has not!
      Love the so called "self help" and "parenting" "experts" who never faced a REAL tough decision or life threatening situation who think they should tell us from up on high how the rest of us should think, speak, act and treat others!
      If your PARENTS didn't teach you how to behave and if you lack common sense, which I see most on here have little to none of, than you stand no chance of ever making it!
      If/When you pathetic kids ever grow up, you'll know what I mean!
      Simple as that!

  • @foodwatermusic
    @foodwatermusic 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    Petrified dung might not be a hoax after all.

    • @thehighpriestess8431
      @thehighpriestess8431 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Foodnwater Music how’s the dung working for you love ? Elephant dung ? It’s pure fiber. Good for you. In India and in Africa elephant dung is used to make pretty paper. Give yourself a chance.

  • @vipermad358
    @vipermad358 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Veterans who have invaded other countries and killed innocent people should NOT have self-compassion. They SHOULD feel guilty, and they should work the rest of their lives to correct the horrible crimes they committed.

    • @ts3858
      @ts3858 ปีที่แล้ว

      She's not talking about terrorists ..

    • @user-nl9ne5gk6k
      @user-nl9ne5gk6k ปีที่แล้ว +1

      YOU really should GKY and work the rest of YOUR pathetic, miserable life begging VETERANS to forgive YOU for your retarded sissy libtard statement! Soldiers are ORDERED to go do their JOB! People in an enemy nation are NOT "innocent", you sad, pathetic snowflake little Killary fan Felicia!

  • @StressRUs
    @StressRUs ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Unfortunately, compassion is a descriptor for how we are treated (or not) by others, most importantly in childhood and by our parents. 45% of children born today are unplanned/unwanted and, so, are raised by a parent/parents who are working, were unwanted themselves, in unhappy marriages, or were outright abandoned. Such children automatically blame themselves for their abuse/abandonment and only a profound reparenting experience over time can displace the self-loathing with self-compassion. The 12-step recovery movements provide this for many of us today, just as our primordial Hunter-Gatherer clans did before we lost that support system. Sorry, sista, but this is not a DYA activity, and you are a fraud. Stress R Us

    • @TheColourAwesomer
      @TheColourAwesomer ปีที่แล้ว

      Whatever works. I also do the 12 step as well.

  • @sedavlos
    @sedavlos 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    🥰

  • @user-nl9ne5gk6k
    @user-nl9ne5gk6k ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "Compassion" is for the weak! The world is NOT a place for the weak! Not everyone lives in a 7 figure gated utopia! Now go get a REAL job!