What Was Your SMOOTHEST "Comeback line" Ever? (r/AskReddit)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ธ.ค. 2019
- AskReddit What's one comeback you've used in life that was so smooth you still grin when you think back on it?
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I don’t think of good comebacks until 7 years after the actual argument at 3:06 AM.
ShadowRose0212 haha same
That time is oddly specific but so relatable at the same time.
yup you got it 100% right
Holy crap I relate to this on a spiritual level
YES 😹
“My silence doesn’t mean that I agree with you, your stupidity just left me speechless.”
I also really want sushi :(
@@sirius322 hahahjsahha
@@user-yz6be7dv4k :)
People clapped
Damn, mind if I use that?
Here's my best comeback:
When I was younger my mom was trimming my hair. I moved a bit and she said "Don't move, I'm cutting."
Without missing a beat, I said "Don't cut, I'm moving."
She called me a smartass.
"Better to be a smart one than a dumb one" is actually my best comeback for when a friend called me a smartass
@@nightmarefanatic1819if that was me I would have added “ like you “ at the end
A bully of mine was insulting my mother. These were no casual 'yo mama' jokes either, these were actual insults. I'd spoken to his mom on a field trip a few weeks before this, and we got along fine. I replied, "You know, I've met your mom. She's really nice. What happened to *you* ?"The look on his face was priceless and the kids who overheard gasped and started going "OOOOOO"
I think the teacher might've heard but if she did she didn't say anything
hehehehe a hat in time hehehehe
@@acredb1110 YOU RECOGNIZED MY PFP?!
@@aquamarie3117 the prince is PECKing dead XD
Wow... So funny.
A guy on tinder asked "on a scale of 1-100 how cheesy can I be with you?"
I replied "I'm lactose intolerant."
XD
Ba dum tssssssss
Someone had to do it.
Omg I need to show my lactose intolerant friend this
I bet she will laugh
Lol
This works out really well for me
Sadly
OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH MY BOI THAT'S EXCELLENT
When I was a kid my dad jokingly told me that I was ugly, I replied with "genetics plays a part"
and then everyone clapped.
My dad always told me that I was 5, but I was 9, and I got really sad. He also told me that he’s tall and I’m small and there’s nothing I can do about it. Can’t wait for the day I get to be taller than him.
iiHighwxy well, Good luck, dude. Just try to ignore him when he insults you. Parents don’t like it when their own child ignores them.
Oh I always say that to my asshole dad. He'll call me stupid and I'll be like " Well, you are my dad! "
You were adopted!!
I've got one. Back in secondary school there was this one girl who for some reason had it in for me, and she kept trying to mock or bully me for everything I did or had (she even tried to cyberbully me once, but that's another story). I was pretty good at ignoring her most of the time, but it was starting to get really irritating. Anyway, one day she was standing behind me in the lunch queue and was talking shit about me while I stood with my back to her. At some point I just snapped, and I turned around, looked her dead in the eye, and said "I don't understand how you're so fascinated with me when I have zero interest in you."
Shut her up like a clam.
Probably my best comeback to date. It got my mother killing herself laughing when I told her. Still makes me smile whenever I think about it.
So good
Brilliant!!
This one naturally came out one time when I was rudely interrupted, and I've used it in similar situations ever since:
"I'm sorry the middle of my sentence interrupted the beginning of yours. Please, continue."
*tips hat to you
Bro that is so helpful. I might use it if that's fine.
@@weirdghost3064 Of course haha I'm not gonna claim ownership of a comeback lol
I've found that it works best when you say it cheerfully. If it sounds too passive aggressive, it can really escalate a situation. The words are snarky enough to get the point across, so your tone has to communicate that you want to move past it, instead of starting an argument.
“You’re gay”
“You wish”
Always leaves them thinking...
Usually I just reply
"Why? Interested?"
I used dis in an argument
Guy was too dumb to get it
Are you gay
Why are you recruiting
@@radkouse1of1 That's not always an insult. Sometimes they're legit curious.
SirSlime was that supposed to be original
Mom: do you want me to call your dad?
Me: you’re calling your husband because you’re losing an argument to a 9 y/o?
critical hit
And then you get murdered by the mom
How the hell? My mom would’ve killed me if I looked her in the eye while being in trouble
@@sjayk-ax3116 my dad was more of the ur in trouble parent than my mom was, that is why she was going to call him
@@sjayk-ax3116 lmfao samee
Not the best comeback, but I'm not usually good at them since I stutter a little-
My parents and I were on vacation, and it was the evening so we were kind of chill, doing our own things. I was drawing when my father leaned to look and said 'your art was better before' which I calmly answered to 'you were more handsome before'. It got a laugh from my mom, and shut my father up, so I'm pretty proud of it lol (also I feel like it sounded better in our language, so my translation is a little bit wonky I think)
That's good girl/bro! Don't stutter, be confident!🥰
That's the same thing as saying "don't be bald just grow your hair"
@@myheartwillgowonandon5467 "don't be depressed, just be happy"
yea i'm pretty sure stuttering is more than just a confidence thing
Idk what's with all these dudes in my replies when I was just tryna be positive, but you can go off, I don't care.
@@myheartwillgowonandon5467 It's okay ahah, I took it in a good way. Also it's just a light stutter because I'm a bit shy, nothing too bad
"Beauty is a feeling"
I was seeing someone who had to be right at all times, and constantly "corrected" me. We went out for two months. But on time when we were eating I called the steak I was having "beautiful", he then went on a rant why food should not be called beautiful and what the word meant and how it should be used. I just blurted out "Beauty is a feeling", and then came up with an explanation on the spot which shut him up.
Music can be described as beautiful, a moment can be beautiful. There is beauty in sadness and joy. When something is described as beautiful it's not because any one physical attribute, it's about the feeling it evokes in people and that is why we all find different things beautiful. To me that steak is beautiful.
Ah, Beautiful
@@fireemblemheroescuzynot9625 It was a glorious steak.
Beautiful comment
I like this. Thank you! 😃
Beautiful
Bully: ''You're gay.''
Me: ''I thought our relationship was a secret.''
All his friends left him.
LMAO DAMN
Definitely using this one.
Hahahahahaha😭
OML BAHAHAHAHAHA
I stan
"ARE YOU DUMB? "
without hesitation:
"Yes."
More like "Exactly"
I did that last week and he just didn’t know what to respond with
Thats relatable
He a little confused but he got the spirit
1, 2, 3...
That's how many likes it got! Wait... make it 124
When I was in middle school, we had this teacher for 3 periods. One being study hall, which we had in the morning. She was pretty rude to students for no reason, had favorites to pick on and get mad at, and also make jokes about race which made everyone in the room uncomfortable. No one liked her. She never was mean to me though, because I had good grades and was nice to basically everyone. Well, one day, in study hall, me and my friend were correcting essays we had written for her class. We decided to sit next to each other while doing it. My teacher, asked for us to go back to our seats. We hadn’t done anything but sit in silence, but we just said ok and started going back to our seats. While going to my seat, she begins making comments like I was being rude to her. Saying things like “ Ok roll your eyes, yeah be mad uh huh “ ( she was known for putting people in situations to make people look bad ) but just repeating this over and over again to me. I got fed up with this and said, not skipping a beat, “ yeah I will “ as a response to her telling me to be mad. Her, flabbergasted, writes me a detention. All worth it though.
How did you get good grades? I have end of year tests coming up and I need to do well🙏🙏
@@thebriefbiscuit
Ohh! Those are great thanks!
What a fucking gigachad
mine was a kind of teamwork situation.
there was this girl at my middle school (lets call her Jay) who was a bit of a bitch.
jay: I'm like a goddess
my friend: yeah, more like medusa
jay: okay, I'm just like her, she's badass
me: that would mean you eat mice and you're afraid of your reflection
jay is a cat
not a jay
But I will.
B r u h
And has snakes for hair.
"Salad tastes good."
So brutal they banned it in Geneva.
Why do you think the Geneva Convention was made?
@@slowhite1706 to make war be more "Humane".
Lost Islands exactly, and they did that by banning that salad comeback.
AH ABHZJX
@@vexziee2524 it was a rhetorical question
Story: “everyone went: OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Narrator: “everyone went: oh”
Exactly lol
damn you got the whole squad laughing
@@theominouspotatoes1821 not funny didnt laugh
I lnow right haha
He just made them sound disappointed!😁😁
Once I was sitting at my lunch table with my friends when some random girl came over to us and started talking shit about one of my friends. My other two friends told the girl to leave us alone, but she didn't listen and kept saying rude things about us. When she started saying bad stuff about my childhood best friend, I stood up and grabbed her shirt collar and looked her in the eye and said, "How come nobody has ever mentioned those words to you? That's all you're made of anyway." My friends started laughing as the girl had her jaw dropped in shock. As I went to sit back down she yelled at me saying, "I'll make you pay for that!", which I replied with, "Try your luck, sweetheart."
a bit of backstory: my mom once tried siphoning water out of a hot tub with a hose, and ended up swallowing a bunch of it by accident. she then told that story to every single person she knew in GRAPHIC detail for like a month, and most of the time i would have to hear her tell that gross story from nearby
now, about a year ago, a was telling my family about this singular stringy hair i have on my neck that grows absurdly long (even though they think its gross) and my mom said to me "when you tell people about your neck hair, it makes people uncomfortable!" and so i said to her, "you mean like that time when you accidentally swallowed a bunch of hot tub water and you spent the next 3 weeks telling everyone that weird, personal story in graphic detail?"
“It was only me and her in the room”
“and then everyone clapped”
😂
Chryspaul Biron you deserve more likes, all the people who saw your comment and didn't like are fucking shitheads who have no taste
Lily Tiger_Girl or they just don’t like the comment?
👏😁 👏😁 👏😁 👏😁 👏😁 👏😁 👏😁 👏😁 👏😁 👏😁 👏😁 👏😁 👏😁
@@AKlepp15 Nice comment. Everyone clapped
I’m Asian and I had a friend who was black and we would sometimes roast each other so one day he asks me “Hey, are your rice crops done yet” and I replied “I don’t know, are you done working on them?” To this day, this has been by best comeback and we both laughed it off.
DAMN THATS SMOOTH *claps*
rush hour strikes again
Oh my god broo smooooooth
🔥🔥🔥
oH MY TOD
me being a pretty quiet, coy, but extremely emotional and sensitive gal with an outgoing, logical, straightforward boyfriend, i’m not usually the successful flirt in our relationship. but there was this one time, where i was just talking about things about him that i liked and he said, “i’ve said this before, lower your standards beautiful” and i said “why, you already meet them”
taking the initiative and seeing him get flustered (which is incredibly rare) was incredibly fun and im still so fucking proud of that moment
You should be proud indeed, this was so sweet
W girl
A few weeks ago at school, my little brother's grade 3 friend kept annoying me, and on Earth Day, he pulled out an empty ziploc bag and said:
"Do you want this garbage?"
I replied:
"I don't want you!"
Him and his 2 friends that were there (including my brother) ran at me and I juked them all out for about 1-2 minutes until the bell rang for class. I was smiling the whole time, and I felt like a god.
*You cannot phase me*
Bro maxed out his evasion
“Salad tastes good.”
Where’s this guy’s trophy at?
urwa anarwala She ate it
Lmaoooooo
FlikK Hale Mystve tasted like metal
please someone explain this to me
Simple Dev watch the whole video
“I slept with your mom last night”
“Sorry. She’s allergic to shrimp”
Stealing your comeback sorry
Michael Spruill r/thathappened
You all do realize this really didn’t happened. It was a little comeback i just thought of.
Dammnnnnnnnnnnn
Damn.
Sick thought.
Not a verbal comeback but a comeback all the same: at school there were school bullies that may have targeted me sometimes. One time I noticed that they were following some of my test answers since they were seated right behind my chair and because I was left handed on a right handed chair it's difficult to cover. I was also told that they were scolded by a teacher for having the exact same answers as me, despite having lower grades everywhere else. So one day during a mock exam I put in all my answers as quickly as possible, and pulled out a second answer sheet to write down all the wrong answers. I positioned it as if I were hiding my answers but in reality I was letting them see all of it. As expected they took the bait and they used my wrong answers. When it was time to pass I blatantly tore the wrong answer sheet in front of the entire class and passed the one with the right answers that was kept underneath my jacket. The look on their faces was more impressed than mad tbh.
Damn to bully you AND steal your answers?! The gall
I argued with a lot of my teachers. I remember once in my math class the teacher was upset with us students about the class being disruptive and disrespectful. I speak my mind a lot to pretty much everyone, especially my math and ap human geo teachers. I didn’t care if you liked what I said or not, I would stand by it all the time. When this happened me and my teacher went back and fourth for a while. He started to rant about how his 5th hour class was so much better at following directions (for reference, my class was one of two honors classes that he taught, 5th hour being the other). He went on about them for a little while, then stopped and turned back to the board to continue on a problem that we were working on. A few seconds passed, and then he said “Even my core kids are better at following directions and listening” (core kids referring to the students in his core math classes). I then said “That’s why we’re an honors class though, right?”. Everyone in the class except my teacher looked at me in shock. Needless to say, the rest of class was quiet, and our teacher hasn’t yelled at us in weeks.
Well, is your class disruptive and disrespectful?
"language!"
"Yes, I call it 'english'"
My proudest.
Lol same i love that
Big brain
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN
Lmao
Aye, only one improvement, look taken back and say, “English😶”
My smoothest comeback:
Person: You're ugly
Me: I guess you're right
idek why i found this funny XD, well maybe cuz that's what i say too :(
I do that
A saiki k pfp? I see you are a man of culture as well
Yoni C tbh this is good because it’s gonna totally throw them off and make them looks stupid and like they’ve not even insulted u
Y o u
For anyone here who is bad at comebacks like me: I keep a quote book and write down good ones anytime I hear them. If you can memorize some of them (not hard to do if they genuinely make you laugh), people won’t be able to tell the difference and think YOU came up with it when you get the chance to use one (as long as you don’t use well-known quotes from movie characters, that’s why most of mine are things I’ve overheard real people say lol).
Some of my favorites:
“You’re ugly.” “Thanks, I was trying to look like you today”
“How did you get (good thing)??” “By getting the opposite of what you’re getting”
“go jump in the pond if you’re gonna be a silly goose”
(if someone complains they can’t see something) “we’ll get you some binoculars then”
“oh I heard you, I’m just not listening”
Me and my sister were watching a lets play one day when my mother walked by and said that she doesn't understand how we find that entertaining. I then asked her how she finds watching football entertaining. She just said touché and walked away.
When you add “and everyone clapped” you lose all credibility of the story you just told.
I agree, Ferb.
That's litteraly how all my arguments end in the shower
I’ve seen stuff like that happen in real life. It actually happens sometimes.
It’s Reddit, do you guys seriously think all of these are real?... no.
I think that one with the women is real and I think that this bitch heard the clapping as she left and that makes me happier
As an overweight person, idk how tf another overweight person has the balls to be rude to someone
We all know we’re too insecure for that
You should be
@@GRAV3YARDMUSIC andre the giant is that you? Its ok obese lard bucket your body your choice..fatso
I disagree
Yeah. You're soft on the inside and soft on the outside.
Pun intended.
I- I hate the fact that's true
"then how do you text your friends if they don't have discord?"
"Bold of you to think I have friends."
I have one too lol: Our school once did a cultural background outfits day, and I dressed up as a Scandinavian Viking (hence my culture), and I saw some jerky kids who were laughing and saying “omg what even are you??” And I told them what I was, and they laughed harder. And then I looked at them, put a disappointed look on my face, and said to them, “damnit, now I wish I brought my battle axe 😭” they immediately stopped laughing and froze, looked at me and said “your….what?” After they walked away, I whispered to my friend and said “I don’t have a battle axe” I felt awesome.
You going straight to valhala
@@CyborgDoge YIPPEE
Someone once said “ew” on a post I had made. I said “I’m sorry your screen is so reflective.” She blocked me after that.
Damn
Edit: i keep laughing it just so good wow
I'll just save this for future use
@@shea1874 don't use it on me
@@tpyl_ 👀
@@shea1874 bro-
HS bully: I've been with 10 times more girls than you"
Me: "10 times 0 is still 0."
DANG
Fatality
Lmaoq
Kamakazi
YES
I was walking out to the lunch line when this one guy, who kind of liked to pick on me, said "You're weird" it took me 1 second to come up with a comeback; I said "I'm sorry, I don't speak idiot" and walked away. Everyone who heard me say that, even his friends, burst out in "OOHHHHHHHHHHH!" Even his own brother! It was awesome. He didn't bother me for the rest of the school year.
One day a couple of years ago, when I was about 15, me and my grandpa were watching a movie, after the movie my grandfather tells me "you know, I used to be able to recognize every name on the credit roll", to which I responded with, "papa, everyone you know, is dead" beat of silence before everyone in the theater dies laughing
"...and then everyone clapped" means "I just made this scenario in my head"
Legend has it their comeback was so epic that a guy in the bar with them was so impressed with it that he donated his winning lottery ticket to the guy, saying that the guy had changed his life forever. The guy also won the medal of Honor and the Nobel Peace prize for his work
EDM Music damn
Was already getting vibes it was faked, that just confirmed. Pretty obvious when people position themselves as some type of fucking hero.
@@aqua3418 and everyone clapped, including the lottery ticket.
@@illusion3227 xD, yeah hahaha
Any story with a “Everyone Clapped” in it is 120% fake
To be fair, almost all of these stories are fake or heavily exaggerated
@tea&terabytes nah more like 69420%
that dude *6942021%
ikr, like honestly it would be sO much better without the stupid fake ending, then people would believe it too
@@jm-mm4zj *yes*
Once back in school two guys just started wispering trash about me sitting only a few meters away. I said something like: "If you are trashtalking over me, please do it more quietly, so I don't have to hear it." Their faces were priceless.
Another time I just went straight to a guy that mocked me often and asked him bluntly, why he did that and he was perplexed and began stuttering an answer.
It was the end of my senior year in high school (we only had a few days left), and I was sitting with my best friend in the classroom of our most hated teacher. She had made my best friend cry multiple times. So when my friend said quietly to me that she didn’t like what we were doing, the teacher whips around and says “no one asked for your opinion” I smiled at her and said “to be fair, no one asked for yours either”. The whole classed laughed. It was so worth the trouble.
Better title: "What comebacks did you think of in the shower hours after you got roasted and couldn't think of anything?"
That hit a bit too deep ;-;
no, we don’t speak of that.
Well, either way, it does put a grin on their face, so I guess it counts!😝
YEEEEEEESSSSS LOOOOL
I feel attacked
“You must have been dropped on your head as a baby”
“Bold of you to assume I was ever held”
Ooh, self-burns, those are rare!
r/suicidebywords
man ouch-
@@-katsukibakugou-bakubear1090 when bakugou is impressed, you know the roast/selfinsult was good/savage.
@@shinydrifloon1501 -
@@-katsukibakugou-bakubear1090 you know im right-
I have one. Back in highschool, when we were at the dorms, we would always have some random deep discussions. One time my roommates and I were talking about the nature of problems. My roommate said: "If you have a major problem that can't be fixed, just get rid of it".
To which I replied: "What if you're the problem?"
All my other roommates went "OOOOOOH".
I love saying the line 'everyone bases on themselves' it can literally block everything and start a counterattack at the same time leaving the opponent no choice but to back off.
That “salad tastes good” guy should’ve called the fire department after that burn lmao
as a chef this feels like an intelectual joke to me fr
When
Justin Time for the Parties 0:54
Or the ambulance.
Sure...that one *totally* happened.
"are you guys lesbian or something?"
"no but I'm pretty sure your mom is from last night,"
- me in fourth grade.
Sharon Hockers at least they didn’t say gay.
Then everyone clapped and you did a backflip into hell
Noah Medina BAHSKSKSKSKJSPWPS
Then I would say: yea you dressed up like a guy and spooked her sexuality away
The Algorithm Why so specific tho
The comedian one is just so wholesome in the sense that everyone gets along
The second one had me rolling on the floor with laughter lmao.
I was thinking “wow this is all so fake” then I stood up In the restaurant, defeated isis. And then I said that bully bad. And everyone clapped. Then I went to Mars
very epic
Oh no, its the FBI-
Please dont look at my harry potter memes-
And your the FBI?
King random21 yes
The FBI lol
If anyone says the “tell me something I don’t know” just say “your dad”
I’ve never seen my dad...
Fuck... fucken come on man...
same
As someone who was adopted at birth by a single mother, I snorted but was still a bit offended.
My dad died 👁️👄👁️
Some guy unnecessarily cut the line at an airport in Algeria, so my father was quite irritated. When the guy told him proudly that he lived in Germany for 40 years, my father asked him: "You lived there for 40 years and this is all you learned?"
Someone said to me that I was ugly, So I said “Well look who’s talking.”
Cant help but cringing when people say 'everyone clapped'
Might as well have said "yeah none of this actually happened lol"
Everyone clapped *their cheeks*
Zues exactly, they make it sound like literally everyone cheered and applauded them, most of the people probably wouldn’t even care
@Zues Maybe my country is just weird, but whenever somebody makes a comeback people clap and scream... one time I saw a dude give the other dude some ice for that burn. But I was the just a witness
Zues I mean I dunno it has happened to me once .................. *yeah there was only 2 others but still*
"Salad tastes good" - he should be arrested because those where killer shots
Aaaaah those are some hard steel gunshots
Shauny jimenez ||-//
Right
ok ok I just saw it. the salad one and I just rushed to the comment to see if anyone else is talking about it and the u are at the top. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
He could've also said 'How to lose weight'
Not sure if this qualifies but when I was a kid my mum would often say ‘it isn’t raining’ whenever we were throwing a tantrum and complaining implying that it was not as bad/sad as we were saying it was.
Once we were driving home in a storm, I forget from what, but I had been sulking and whining the entire way home and after trying to reason with me my Mum finally said ‘it isn’t raining’ and without a pause I said ‘Yes it is’. My mum seemed to realise I was completely correct and stopped trying to cheer me up.
As an aside my mood instantly improved as I had gotten one over on my mum. I also think she stopped using that phrase around the same time too.
I already know there’s gonna be a million “and then everyone clapped” moments in here
98% of the comments: “and everyone clapped”
Other 2%: original stories
*Claps*
did the original ones go free drinks for the rest of the night?
me: "can i talk to you for a sec?"
my ex bsf: "i dont talk to brats."
me: "but i do.”
Saving this lol
Brutalemante
Sheeeshh
it would be even better if you left the last line as "but i do" then it would hit harder cause if you said "so can i" they might feel a sense of control and not be affected by the comeback
@@blazinglions9554 hahah alr I’ll remember that till next time
I recently lost one of my sharpies, but I didn’t really care, then one day my friend told me he found my sharpie and when I followed him and he pointed at nothing and said “There it is!”, so I said “Just like your father!” I still pleasantly enjoy that comeback.
i love these W moments. so many of these comebacks are as vicious as they are righteous
"Salad tastes good."
Me: *Empty windex spray bottle noises*
*Dream wheeze*
@@canufen7350 Basically a tea kettle
I know haaaa
@Gamer Guy2019 Wow.........that's cool
I pulled something like that once. Someone didn’t get my joke and preceded to call me dense and make fun of me for my sense of humor. I said “You know, maybe I am unfunny”. He proceeds to say: “Yeah, tell me something I didn’t know”. And I proceed to copy and paste the definition of sarcasm into the reply section. He didn’t answer back
"What are you doing?"
"Your mom."
My brother wasn't very impressed
I say that on a daily ironically. Sometimes I'm streaming some wacky shit in a Discord vc so they'd ask me what I'm doing and immediately after that they would say "shut up" before I could say it
hol up you didn’t think this through
What the fuck, wait hold up
Yo💀
@THE AMAZING BROTATO!!! Exactly😭
Salad tastes good is one of the best things I've heard all day
7:05 this one left me dying of laughter
No one:
Me during this: Write that down, write that down!
You are not alone
Just wait for it, I’ve done this before and it’s so satisfying and it just kind of pops into your head
Haha same
Exactly
Not alone my friend.
“Everyone clapped”
Me after I finish my performance in the shower
who tf is clapping for you in your shower
hey my cheeks are private property
bruh bruh my bad, you should put a sign so people know
@•Happy• •Blank• bruuuuh
I do gymnastics in the shower
Someone said “Learn to take a joke”
I said: “learn to make one”
“That’s such a clever insult that only the crickets are laughing”
the ones that ends with “and everyone clapped” are definitely fake
How do you know they are fake? I'm not being rude but I'm just plainly stupid for not knowing this😅
Cause everyone puts that at the end of a fake story to make themselves sound cooler. It would never happen
what Creeper said, you might hear someone laugh a little but NO ONE would clap
Happened to me once in 8th grade
@@amandalazaro8761 this is reddit we are talking about soooo
*thinks of a funny and clever comeback in head*
Me: You know, you’re- *_Bursts out laughing_*
LMAOSJSJEKS so trueee
'You know you're- *BAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*
You're a,, y-you _wHEEZE_
Thank you kind sir I just had the best laugh in a long time😂
DUDE THIS IS SO FUCKING TRUE
some of them sound like tall tales but they are still satisfying
The Gaming in Cafeteria one made me burst out laughing
“So do you treat all men like this?”
“No. Your just not a man”
I feel like a weird person to say this but...
You're*
Now kill me
Sayori Forever of course you’re that type of person lmao
@@kennedyarmstrong6983 Yeah
I’m one of those people too. People always misspell the word “piqued” as “peaked”. It’s so annoying.
@@walrustoaster9907 You've piqued my interest.
Brother: “You’re adopted.”
Me: “At least mom and dad *wanted* me.”
Mom: You were the last one in the adoption center.
@@cfcsyzo Holy shit dude you fucking killed them
Holy shit
OoooooOOOOoooooOohhhHh
Zang has dropped a holy grenade no pin
*some of the comebacks inspired me to say them to the bully of my class. thanks for making this video=)*
these comebacks r so smooth i've been coming back for 4 years now lol
“Everyone clapped” and with that, your story; ruined.
Ikr
r/r/thathappened
Everyone clapped their ass. :3
Madao wtf
@@stinkyjuicebox Suddenly the story is enhanced, not ruined. 8D
A kid said: “Does your mom know you’re gay?”
I replied with: “No, but your dad does.”
Not that good, but it still makes me laugh
Edit: For the record,this was me and my friend joking around. I’m not actually gay. (no offense to gays)
You could’ve also said “No, does your mom know you’re gay?”
I think theirs was better
@@bellatrixryddle1731 boo
@@bellatrixryddle1731 but that would be admitting your gay, nothing wrong with it but I’d say majority of the male population isn’t gay
@@bxvin9788 its called the Martyrdom (Drop a live grenade when killed)
Not so sure it was smooth but it's become a borderline iconic quote in my friends group.
We were all drunk and I was talking about some stupid bollocks, I don't remember what it was but it doesn't matter.
One of my friends said to me "No one is listening to you mate."
I immediately shouted back at him "I don't care if no one is listening to me, I'M listening to me!"
Cue the room erupting in laughter.
One summer, these two boys a couple years older than me would follow me and my friend around town on their bikes, and it was really annoying. I remember on one specific afternoon, we were walking around town when we ran into the boys. They started calling us “losers” for no reason in particular, and did the “take the L” dance from fortnite, back when that was still popular. That was when I made my most idiotic but also most uncalled for comeback: “you mean take the BACKWARDS L, yes?” (His L was forwards to him, so it was backwards to anyone else). I remember the dumbfounded look on his face as he and his friend biked away, and he ran over a pebble, and got a flat tire just then, so he was pathetically slow.
Alternate Title: People who have legally murdered others in public.
get back in that inf death loop dud
So basically storys about you?
alternative* title: shit that never happened
@@tfwnoyandere we get it Grammarly
@@cpah he doesnt
How to instantly know a story is fake
And then everyone clapped
KameronCrow or “i drank for free after that”
👏👏👏👏
Sometimes people leave that in as a joke. It’s become such a red flag that it’s funny.
Why is everyone commenting this
ONE LIKE AWAY FROM GREATNESS
A guy "bruh i got a 4 pack"
Me "of what barbies?"
I was iconic
We were talking about siblings when I was 12 and I asked him to give his sister a message, he said he didn’t have one.
I replied ‘Oh dont worry, you will in 9 months’
I left that day with a bloody nose but it was worth it, that was a good day
Most of the stories end with and then everyone clapped or everyone laughed, this just sounds like what a bunch of people wish they had said at the time but didn't.
Wow. Holy shit. After researching this vid, Youre right.
Edit: ahem...I meant rewatching not researching
Riley Y lmao
Exactly.
r/thathappened
But usually when someone has a good comeback in public they do get cheered on
I was grabbing a book and a girl sitting next to the shelves goes: "ew it smells like crap" while looking at me
I reply with: "then get your head out of your ass"
😂
I wish I had said that one time
Savage😎
I refuse to believe you didn’t make this up in the shower it’s too good
Wether you like it or not im gonna use this
I've accidentally roasted someone then got confused when everyone went "OOOOOOOH" lol
I was in an argument with my best friend (who is now not my friend anymore for other circumstances) because she always left me behind and went to play with other friends, so before she left, I really wanted to say something memorable for her life, but all I could think of was “you’re dumb”.
I said it with all my heart though
Saying Everyone clapped is a dead giveaway that nobody did.
They usually do it on purpose
I believe that a bar of drunks would clap tbh
Noah Leach haha ya
And everyone clapped
I fucked my computer
*and everybody clapped*
I saw this on Facebook there was a black dude, asking people to roast him so, one user responded: "you're already roasted."
Dang
Nice picture
😂😂😂😂
@@littletyke5535 I currently have 122 pictures of ahegao in my phone.
Omg 😂
This was during my time in the military. I have a lazy eye and there was this NCO named Cassie that would often pick on me about it. One day he made a rather snide comment about it after we had just finished a debate about something I cant remember. I looked him straight in the eyes and smiled "At least I don't have a woman's name; that's pretty lame" he wanted to fight me after that, other soldiers had to physically hold him back. Almost the entire room erupted in hysterical laughter, damn that felt great. He never said a word about it after that and we became good friends.
I lost it when I heard the guy said that salads taste good 😂😂
This is just a bunch of “everyone clapped, Obama was there”.
And Obama's name?... Einstien
𝙄 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙖𝙩 222
Everyone in the room claped and that room grew up to be einstein
My fellow Americans
Agreed
One time in high school several of us were sitting around before class and someone made some kind of a joke at my expense, which I didn’t hear, but then she grinned and apologized, so I knew it had been something snarky. So I said, “That’s OK, I wasn’t paying any attention to you anyway.”
Even if it actually happened, just DO NOT mention the "everyone clapped" part. Just don't...
But if they don't, how are we gonna know they lied!!!??? 😧☹️ Plus, you gotta admit, adding the other extra bit of free stuff and credit brings the whole thing home. 🙈😂😂😏
And everyone *-clapped-* didn't do anything
😬
Actually I don’t rlly have a prob with it
Areeba Usman yea me 2
On today’s episode of “and then everyone clapped”:
👏👏👏👏👏👏
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
*Loud* *Applause* *sounds*
Sitcom laugh track
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽