How can I help my baby overcome separation anxiety?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.ย. 2024
- Between 4-7 months, babies begin to understand object permanence, meaning they know mom and dad are the most constant thing in their life. If you're not in the same room, they'll recognize that. You may be in the kitchen or next room, but they don't have a concept of time, so all they know, you're gone forever, so if you leave, they cry. This is normal. Actual separation anxiety usually starts between 8 months and their 1st birthday. This is when they may have a hard time being apart from mom or dad. It's a normal part of development and you can take comfort in the fact that they have a healthy bond with you. But it's good for you to look for opportunities to leave them in the care of someone else. Even if this isn't something you do on a regular basis, it's good for them to get used to being without you, and it's good for you to get out and do other things.
If you anticipate having to leave your baby with someone on a regular basis, try to do it before your baby is 8 months. But rest assured that if you've found a trusted caregiver, you can leave your baby in their care. Your baby is only going to cry for a few minutes (in most cases) after you've left. You're the one who may feel guilt and dwell on it more than the child after you've left. It's important to develop a ritual when you're leaving your baby with someone - something calming and comforting. Have confidence in your child when you talk to them. Use positive expressions and a happy voice. Tell them that you'll be coming back. They'll learn to trust you as you do that time and time again. After you've left, distraction is key, so if there are comforting items you can leave with the caregiver that they can use as distractions, that may help the transition go more smoothly. Try to not leave your baby with someone when they're really tired or hungry, because all their emotions are heightened at those times.
Look for opportunities between 4-7 months and beyond to let your baby learn that you're going to come back. You can do this at home. Leave them (after they've been fed, changed and loved) in a playpen or a safe, contained area while you go in another room and fold laundry or do dishes, but can keep an eye on them. They may cry for a couple minutes when they can't see you, but it's better if you can see them so you know they're okay. Let them cry for a couple minutes, learn how to self-soothe, distract themselves and move on from the fact that they're anxious about you not being there. They'll learn that when you leave the room, you come back. They learn through experience.
If you feel like you have a newborn that's struggling with separation anxiety, it isn't due to traditional separation anxiety. It's normal for a baby to cry when you place them down, because they love you, they want you to hold them and it's comforting to them. It's not realistic to hold your baby all the time. There are some things that you have to get done. You have a couple options. One is feeding, changing, loving them and putting them in a playpen in the same room you're in while you get things done. If they cry and you know they're crying because they want you, then it's okay to let them cry while you finish things you need to attend to. You also have the option of using wraps. These are helpful. I used one and I was able to get things done while I wore him. He was close to my chest and happy to be with me while I vacuumed, did dishes and did things around the house. Just be sure that if your baby is falling asleep, that you put them down and don't have them sleep on your chest with the wrap around you, because doing that has been associated with harm to the baby.
Another good thing you can do with babies is peek-a-boo. You cover your face, you know you're there, but they don't, so it's a surprise every time they see your face, but they learn that you come back. That's part of teaching them. You can play it when they're little and continue as they get older. When they get older and you're leaving them places, for example, my son would go to daycare and I'd always tell him (once he was old enough to understand) I was going to come back after playing outside. He knew I'd pick him up after he played outside, which was around 4:30, but he doesn't understand 4:30, so you need to talk about it in terms the child will understand. And they'll hold you to it, so keep your promises. That's part of helping them learn to trust you'll come back when you say.
If you have specific questions or concerns, or you've noticed your child is having nightmares or meltdowns no matter what you're doing, or they seem disturbed about being left with certain people, then you should investigate. Under some circumstances, like if they're having nightmares or you're noticing behavioral changes, talk with your pediatrician. They can ask you questions and (based on their knowledge of your circumstances) give you tailored information and advice.
I have a 6 month old and she cries whenever I leave the room. Even with her dad. It’s heartbreaking for both me and him.
I am going through the exact same thing with my six month old. He started daycare last week and is even worse. It’s hard.
It’s hard to hear your baby cry but you have to leave them for short periods and come back that’s going to help them trust and know that you are coming back
@@parentingbeyondbehaviours6382 daycare was a nightmare so I just got him an in-home babysitter and he is happier and thriving at home. He is no longer screaming when you walk away just a fussy cry. It will take a while for him to adjust.
@@cocomint26 I’m glad to hear he is better
My kid is 4.5 months anyone other than me hold him or if I leave him with somebody, he will scream absolute bloody murder, and he’s hysterical. He scream so loud that you can hear him from outside.
He is 1000% fine by himself in the living room or anywhere else in the house. It’s just the minute I give them to somebody else who is it me all hell breaks loose
I like the way this lady explained it. Thanks
Some of my earliest memories is crying for hours until my mom came back. They definitely don’t forget about it in a few minutes. I’m 40 years old and seriously remember being terrified and so upset when my mom left to go to work. My grandparents say I cried until she came back. And I remember this was horrible harmful stuff to my deepest core.
Omg my baby girl just turned one and she has always had separation anxiety but it just gotten worse and not she doesn’t cry for 5 minutes she’d cry for hours if I don’t pick her up 😳😳😳
Barbie latina sane boat with my 10 month old, would really like some pointers on how to handle this 😂
Guys did you figure out something, kiddo is 14 months and he's suddenly gotten sepration anxiety
My son just turned 1 and he screams forever until I pick him up 😩 and he cries bloody murder in the car seat
I think she has learned that when she cries you will eventually pick her up try comforting without picking her up
@@Unapologetically_Shalana
Wait him out he will eventually stop
I leave in Prague Czech Republic. We had a pretty strict lockdown. So during the time my baby could have developed bonds with other family members we were on lockdown. Now she cries anytime I am out of sight. It is heartbreaking . I have to start working again and I don’t know how it is going to be. Right now she cries herself to sleep when I leave her, even with her dad
I love the way you explained everything.. I have a 4 years old daughter, she is so scared of everything, can't go into her room, doesn't want me to leave her with her friends, doesn't want me to leave the room etc. Please give me some advice how to resolve this issue. Thank you
Sounds like you need a personal plan to work on this level of anxiety. Start by taking small steps first evaluate what she is scared about choose one thing and if it is something that she doesn’t need to be worried about start there. Allow her to experience the situation for short periods of time while still assuring her. Like leave her with her friends do a short period of time and let her see that she is fine then extend the time.
My son just turn 8 months today. But the last couple of weeks he has just been nostop crying he wnats me to hold him at all times. He used to go to sleep by himself at night but now he just wont even take the bottle if i put him down with it (he can hold his bottle on his own). He does fine when i leave him with other people but with me at home he just wont stop i cant even go get a cul of water. He screams all day. Is overwhelming me. He he doesnt cry for minutes he can go for an hour as i am trying to get him to sleep and i put him down. He used to do fine if he was "drowsey" and i layed him with his binky now as soon as he feels me lowering he starts screaming. Nothing is working.
Hi!! Please make a video on one year old fussy eating habits.
I am a caregiver of a one year old who is not adjusting. This child will cry for 5 hours straight and is literally inconsolable. She is not distracted by toys or a different setting, or my attempt at comfort. So what is your suggestion?
What did you do?
@@invincibearofficial I ended up telling the parents she simply wasn’t adjusting and they needed to do something else. She had been at a large daycare facility prior and they took her back there. I think because they were bigger, had other infants they had the ability to remove themselves from her. I can only imagine they let her cry. I can’t imagine she was any different there. She’s 3 now and a painfully shy child and still very clingy to mom.
My 2 month old having separation anxiety like crazy. She starts crying if I start walking away from her
Same here. This is tough! Her voice is getting raspy from crying so hard 😥
Yes it’s amazing how little babies experience anxiety
My 11 month old is now crying if I go to my room or bathroom. I usually let him watch TV. Play with his toys
I need an updated video because my 1 year old will cry for over an hour if I leave her in the next room while I clean my kitchen
What happens after the hour?
Hi, my son is just 1year old and am a working professional. These days he is behaving like I left the city .. he will cry for hours.... What will I do
My son is 18 months old and he cries a lot every time I leave. A LOT. It’s becoming a problem at this point
My baby is 9 months old and cries whole day
My baby is 10 months old now. He goes to my dads house and we meet halfway. So this means he switches cars every morning and evening. Any tips?
My grand daughter is 7 mos old, she doesn’t cry when her parents leave,but she then latches on to whomever is watching her. She’ll pick 1 person, and not allow them out her sight, she’ll cry real tears, and turn red as stop sign. I literally had to bring her in bathroom with me🤦🏾♂️. Any advice? Does she need therapy?
I'm just curious how a 7 month old can have therapy.
My baby ate rubber band is thre any prblm and she is 1 year plus
Asking for immediate medical advice under a you tube video. That's disturbing
Hey I’m just getting back
My daughter is 9 months, we started transitioning her to sleep in her crib at 6 months. 1st week she did great but after that she sleep from 8pm to 10 or 11pm and wakes up crying uncontrollably. We take her back to our bed and falls back to sleep. What are we doing wrong? Did we transition her too late?
Baby sleep is never consistent. Try to comfort and keep them in their room. But you do what works for all of you.
Same. Mine slept with me from 4 to 8 months. I transition her to crib but i sleep in bed right across from her crib.
I think you waited a little too long to send her to sleep alone. Is hard to hear them crying when they wake up i know but maybe keep trying to make her sleep on her crib. Even if she wakes up, go comfort her so she knows you are watching her but then place her back to the crib. It migh take a couple days before she gets used to but it's better late than never, unless you are planing on keeping her sleeping with you for the next 2-3 years.
No it’s not to early just be consistent with what you are doing