@EmmaHubbard Ma'am, father and husband here. My wife believes that if I don't respond immediately I'm a bad father and not responding immediately can hurt the child mentally. She believes that when I say wait to see what he does I'm referring to the cryout method. I've even asked her to let me put him to sleep while he was dozing off and her response was, I'm not going to let him cry no matter what? Please address if you can. P.S. she also has a friend with a PHD in her ears who also believes I'm hurting the child mentally. He's 7 months.
When it comes to baby's temperature the easiest advice I got from a midwife was cool cheek, warm forehead. if baby's cheeks are warm take off a layer of blankets, if their forehead is cool add a layer of blankets (or change the temperature of the whole room). That way you don't need to find a way to reach in under their clothes.
Babies should not have blankets in bed! My cousin lost her only child 11 years ago to SIDS, but her baby was tangled in his blankets. Please don't put covers on sleeping babies!
@griffinmathers929 - it depends on whether the blankets are loose (dangerous) or properly tucked. The following is from the official red nose SIDS website: Make up baby’s bed so baby sleeps at the bottom of the cot and the blankets can only reach as far as baby’s chest, ensuring baby cannot move down during sleep and get his/her head covered by bedding.
@@AnimalsAreBetterThanPeople once you know the temperature of the room and how baby will deal with it sure, sleep sacks are a good option. But blankets can be layered depending on the room temperature (not everyone has access to reliable climate control to keep the room at the same temperature all the time) so long as they are tucked in properly and low enough that baby can't wiggle down underneath they really aren't much danger of flopping over baby's face.
All 3 of my kids are great sleepers and I have been following this advice since my 1st child. It made sense to me that they would need to sleep in a dark quiet room during the day when possible. But I will tell you that we had plenty of relatives who criticized me for it with every single one of my kids. It's very hard to handle the criticism especially when it's your first child.
As a first time mum eith a now 4mth old, I agree! It's very hard sometimes to stick to your guns and follow what you believe is right when in the back of your mind there's the doubt that "hey, these people are experienced and I'm not, and advice changed all the time. Who's to say who's right/wrong?" It can be challenging to trust your own thoughts and feelings, also with the fear of getting it wrong.
It was actually an older Moroccan man that explained to us, as new parents, that the baby may "sleep" in noisy places, but they won't get that really deep sleep they need so much. And frankly, while we had our baby in a lot of bright, noisy places at the beginning of her life, every chance she did get to sleep in a quiet place she seemed to love it. Slept long, slept better, was in a better mood. And somehow that's just what we transitioned to. It was well worth it.
This makes me feel so much better! My baby has a pitch black room and a great sleep schedule built from watching sleepy cues. But everyone else’s baby sleeps in the car, and on outings. But mine needs it to be dark and absolutely silent/sound machine. I’ve been feeling like I’ve ruined her chance to sleep anywhere anytime and thus get to do more things because of that adaptability. But she really is the happiest baby. And her same age cousins who will just fall asleep wherever are a little grumpier. So maybe you have a point and I’m gonna go with what you said to make myself feel better haha
My 3mo takes most of her naps in the baby carrier while I chase my 2yo around. When big brother is awake her naps are 30-45 min generally. When he naps midday, she always naps too even if she's had a shorter than usual wake window, and she always naps the full 2 hours that he is down because it's so much quieter and more restful without me running her all over the place
“Tire them out all day and they’ll sleep at night” is the worst advice I got from relatives. Thankfully one of my sisters is a sleep therapist and gave us the great advice to sleep as much as possible during the day in a dark room. Since 3 months he has slept perfectly all night and has slept a single 3 hour nap during the day since 1 year old.
I saw this post when pregnant w my first baby and followed this nap/sleep routine and ever since she was 3 months she would sleep all night and 1 1/2 hour naps 2 times a day . She’s 19 months now and still same great sleeping routine. Do this routine ! ❤
My baby struggled to sleep during the day when she was a newborn, and so I was really struggling with that and trying to figure it out, but most of the people I talked to (who were not doctors) said: "oh! That's great! Now she'll sleep at night better!" Of course that was not at all true and was very annoying
My parents tell me that I screamed for the first month and a half of my life and they understood it as colic. I was finally cured when a lady they met at a dry cleaning place who happened to have a lot of kids, placed me on my side and tapped me on the back and I was instantly better. She then reccomended to give me some peppermint water and I had no issues from then on. However, I still use peppermint to cure upset stomachs to this day.
@@AnnafromHungarylvNW They aren't because a small amount of water can over load the kidneys and be lethal but that was the old trick to help colic supposedly.
How did we build the urge to train babies into every unnatural situation? My intuition waved red flags with every tip and trick like these… great video!❤
And yet in history, for example an Asian baby was strapped to mum and out side to sleep while mum worked while carrying the Bub.. lots of cultures did this. No dark quiet room there
Baby wearing is nice and warm, close to Mum’s heart and that does it to help baby sleep** Mainly because babies want what they need and they need to be close to Mum or Dad**
Thank you for this! I had so many people tell me to nap my son in the living room instead of his room because it was too quiet. I told them that babies, like adults, can get used to sleeping in noise and light, but it's not really the best sleeping conditions. I want my baby to get the best sleep, so I give him the best sleeping conditions. He's in a way better mood when he wakes up after a crib nap in the dark than a stroller nap or a car nap.
It’s always funny hearing people say to put a baby down in a bright, hectic environment knowing full well that they themselves would have a bad sleep if they were in the same environment😅 We all seek out dark, quiet rooms for our own naps.
"When babies get tired enough they'll succumb to sleep no matter where they are." Someone forgot to tell my nephew that lol. 7 hours awake and practically delirious with tiredness... still won't sleep if he thinks he might be missing out on something.
same here. My LB won't sleep anywhere else but in his cot. When we travelled to visit his grandparents who lives abroad, he was up from 6am to 6pm and he was only 11months old 😢 he would not sleep in car seats, prams or airplanes 😂
This is exactly word for word how my parents described me as a baby/toddler, and it turns out my difficulty sleeping was a symptom of adhd. Not saying your nephew has it for sure but it could be worth just keeping an eye out.
My baby sleeps best when carried or laying on my chest. And being in the same room as their parents reduces the risk of SIDS both day and night, which is important to me. So my baby doesn't sleep in a super quiet, dark room very often.
It’s great that you have found method that works for you both. I just want to quickly clarify that you need to be in the same room when they are sleeping during the day and night. AAP and Red Nose Australia state that sleeping on a firm, flat surface while lying on their back takes priority over being in the same room day and night. So if like most families you only have one crib or bassinet and it’s set up in the bedroom then that is where they should sleep during the day. I hope that makes a bit more sense.
@@EmmaHubbard Thanks for your reply. Just wanted to clarify for other viewers that I only let my baby sleep on my chest when I'm awake. Of course, otherwise it wouldn't be safe.
This is the same for me. My little one likes to stroke my hand when she's falling asleep. So she sleeps in the living room during the day. And she sleeps through the night already. But I will try the bedroom again soon.
This didn’t work for us. Too much day sleep relieved too much sleep pressure, and made our days miserable sitting in the dark constantly trying to get “normal” nap lengths and our night miserable with frequent wakings. Dark, long naps just aren’t for low sleep needs babies.
I just coddled my baby close when he started to fuss and when he got that glazy relaxed look I'd set him down in his crib in his room and just left him there in the dark and went out about the house to finally get my cleaning done while he napped he's a toddler now and will sleep anywhere I think the secret is to not wait until the kids is over exhausted and screaming and crying to try for a nap if you catch them at the first eye rub and little fuss and start the nap ritual then it's the best
It was definitely a crazy/interesting experience the first time I discovered my baby wanting to nap in his room as if it was bedtime. Just one day I could tell he was tired and he was being fussy. Even after making the office quiet for him and a little darker, he just wouldn't let himself sleep! So I decided to take him to his room where it was MUCH darker and cooler and shortly after putting him in his crib, he was out! Ever since then I can always expect him to want a "crib nap" around the same time every day. I just try to follow his cues!
Thank you for this informative video! Sadly I cant say my baby falls asleep whenever sleep pressure is enough: as a newborn he used to be able to stay awake for 6 hours at a time and then I would struggle to put him to sleep as he was overtired. Turns out I wasnt able to notice signs he wanted to sleep (he would rub his eyes on my chest but only if I took him in my arms and he would rarely yawn). So once I noticed that he would show signs and calm down only in my arms, I realized he needed the security of my arms to sleep during the day ( I would stay awake in the quiet and dark living room). I couldnt understand because at night he sleeps in his crib very well (only wakes up once to eat from 2 months on and now barely wakes up at 7mo). It took me time (and going against the pressure of people around me) to accept that for now, my son needs me or his dad to fall asleep during the day (except in the car seat and stroller he can also fall asleep but after at least 30mins of looking around). To kind of stop looking around and relax in our arms. If I put him down in his crib he would wake up crying because of the change in his environnement after only 30mins naps. Whereas in my arms he can sleep 3h easily. So the choice was easy to make 😂
I wish all of these videos were given in a little pack after the birth of a child to every parent especially first time parents. It would have helped me through so many hard times as a first time parent. Especially sleep time.
As a parent of twins, it's hard to follow the advice to just let them cry for a few minutes at night because the noise quickly wakes the other one up 😂. I hope you could also make sleep advice videos for multiples. Love your channel! Your tummy time vids help my twins a lot. Cheers!
Yeah, all babies (and sets of multiples are different). My babies slept in the same room and same divided bassinet without waking each other when one whimpered or cried. In fact, as they got older and we put them in the same crib (now 2.5 yo) they actually comfort each other or the other doesn't wake. We have had several instances recently during a bad tummy bug from their school where one vomited during the night and we were able to change the bedding and comfort the crying one while the other stayed fast asleep. I hope they continue to be good sleepers.
Girl same mama of 9 month old twins. Mine still wake up during the night about 2 times lol so I quickly give a bottle so they settle and go back to sleep and hopefully avoid waking up the twin 😬😬😬😬 and then mine still take 3 naps a day lol 🤷♀️ hell yesterday they had a 4th nap due to being super grumpy 😂
I hear that! I helped my sister a lot with her twins for the first year, including many overnights. They used to tag-team! One would cry for a while and just as he was falling asleep, the other would wake up and take a turn. But if you went in to shush the first one, that increased the likelihood of both waking up. And if they were both awake they would take turns crying so when one became tired he would have a nice rest while the other took up the call, and so it went. 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
Thanks, Emma! You are a life saver!!....I never agreed on, when people said, "let there be noise when he's sleeping"...I would tell them, next time you sleep in the day I will come and make noise, how would you feel?
We were trying to explain this to my dad when we stayed with him as he would stomp around the house, his dog would constantly bark and doors would be closed loudly causing disruption to our 1 year-old's naps and night sleep. we noticed this caused him to be grumpy and fussy.
Disrupted sleep can definitely make the little ones grumpy! It amazing how you change how loudly you shut doors, put dishes away and move around the house when you have a little one sleeping!😂
Thank you for all those helpful videos. Little over 1 month survived so far *uff*. I am learning baby language everyday, but being more effective thanks to your content!
The cold feet thing always annoyed me when we stayed with my husband's grandma for two weeks after my c-section. Sometimes we would wake our son for feeding and she had dressed him for 65 degrees when she keeps her house ten degrees hotter, so he would be hot and sweaty. When i dressed him for the actual temperature, i always got admonished for not keeping him warm. What she forgot is that overheating can be fatal. You can always add layers if they're actually cold. Yet she was always admonishing me for his cold hands and feet. Thankfully he's almost 8 months old and is way better at regulating his body temperature.
@@meredithkav that´s complete BS. cold babies can also die, respiratory deseases can be deadly for the little ones. hello, have you forgotten the origin of the word "a cold"
@@meredithkav I see many idiot moms outside dressing their babies lighter than themselves, they´re asking for a tragedy. they´ve been ill-advised and they don´t have the education to know any better
Some truth.... However, every baby is different. My first would not sleep past a 30 min nap whether dark and quiet or normal and noisy. But she would sleep 12 hours a night after a few months old. Around 2 1/2, she fought naps so bad, we slowly weaned her off them, maybe only 2-3 a week. She's almost 4 and takes no day naps but still sleeps a solid 10-12 hours without waking. My second would take 4 naps a day for the first 5 months and he's 14 months now and still takes 2 naps a day. He sleeps so much better and asks for naps even. He usually sleeps 40 min to an hour each nap and 10 hours at night. She hates shutting down and he loves it. ❤
Your videos are a lifesaver and are answering so many questions I didn’t know I had with our new baby! Thank you so much for taking the time to make these!
My baby didnt sleep during the day. I was waking her if she was asleep every 2 hours to nurse, except at night. I think thats why she slept through the night at 2 months. Not sure if parents do this anymore, but we followed Dr. Sears and attachment parenting. He said there would only be 1long sleep period in a day and to try to make it at night. Long time ago, she is 21.
I found it really really helpful to set a timer when bub would cry out at night (and it wasnt a "usual" feed time) just to make myself wait 3-5 minutes before going in. Something about having the timer was so helpful to easing my knee-jerk reflex to go and grab them immediately and soothe. Also I have always aimed to sleep my kid in a dark, cool room or environment, with white noise, no matter what. I found it way more effective than the "loud & bright" naps idea 🤷 but it does mean that I get antsy when we are off the norm and I cant give him his usual routine 🙈
I really struggle with letting my 4 month old cry during a nap without going to pick her up. I have repeatedly heard the advice that the squirming and crying is just REM sleep and not a sign that she's awake... but whenever I go peek at her, her eyes are wide open and she smiles and calms down when she sees me. I really feel like she's awake. Am I wrong?
Could be that 1. You going into the room causes them to wake up (REM sleep is light and it's easy for an opening door or other noises to wake baby up) or 2. She's awake. If her eyes are open and she calms down when she sees you she's awake. When baby cries or calls out during REM sleep it's generally short lived and gets progressively calmer vs if baby is actually awake and calling out for you where baby will get generally get more and more persistent with time. If you listen for a few minutes and the crying doesn't stop or gets more desperate then she awake and is calling for you but sometimes you will listen and the crying gets softer and less aggressive (for want of a better word) with time and baby will eventually go back to sleep.
I would definitely reccomend a video baby phone. In redibly helpful in determining when baby is really crying for mom and dad, needs help transitioning zo the next sleep phase, or is getting along fine
I've never heard of this crying rem sleep and going back to sleep idea. My baby cried out in the night and would not resettle just escalate until we gave them attention.
Agreed. Ixreally triedxnot going to my baby immediatly but most of thextime if I didn't go to her immediatly she would get louder and louder and it would take that much more time to then calm her again. So I gave that up and instead quickly cuddle her or just put my hand onxher, so she would relax and drift back to sleep
Great video. We just transitioned my babe to her crib in her own room. We use a white noise machine and a musical mobile. We were nervous for her but she really does sleep better than when she was in our room. She does have wake periods in the night still (she’s 7 going on 8 months in a few days) but they’ve lessened since transitioning her!
Is totally normal that babies and kids have wake periods during the night, is until around 6 Years old when they will sleep without them like an adult ( according to the book "Dormir sin lagrimas " from Rose Jovè).
After a long, tiring morning, my two-week-old finally fell asleep. A minute later, the doorbell rang. It was my loudest neighbour, a woman with two children of her own. *HELLO! HOW ARE YOU?* I gestured to her please to talk more quietly, because my son had just got off to sleep. *OH IT'S ALL RIGHT. THEY SLEEP THROUGH ANYTHING AT THIS AGE!* From upstairs: Waaaaaahhh. She didn't even get to sit down. Just heard the crying, and ran. Fastest visit ever. 😃
Thank you for that last tip! My daughter is 15 months/14 months corrected and she cries and squarms in her sleep and I pick her up because I think she needs help going back to sleep, I'm going to try tonight to let her put herself back to sleep, how do I know the difference between if she actually needs me like of she's hungry or if she just needs a few minutes to go back to sleep?
Hi! If your little one is hungry or needing you during the night they will get progressively louder and their cries will be consistent. But if they are just in REM sleep or they're just waking briefly between sleep cycles , their call outs don't increase in volume and they are more spaced out. So they might call out, then pause, then call out again. To work this out you will need to wait a few minutes and just listen to their call outs. Hope that helps!
Hi. Dr. Hunbard. Some experts advice that in order for the circardian rhythm to develop, it is better to expose them to light during daily nap time. Could you please explain whether and how sleeping in a dark room delay the development of the circardian rhythm. Thanks
0:24 am currently in a struggle with family about this with my first child! Now we've discovered our second sleeps so much better in his own room in low low soft light with black out curtains and a sound machine. . . He use to sleep on my chest in the living room with his 2yo older brother, but lately he will not/can not sleep in the living room and has been so cranky! Its hard to take him into his room to go down for a nap because my oldest is so active that if i leave for more than 5 minutes he has destroyed the living room. . . But my family says that because i have "trained" my first to only sleep in the dark and quiet, he wont sleep anywhere else. We have now proven that wrong as he sleeps just fine at my girlfriend's house (not dark but low light in the day time) and my aunt's (again low light but not dark)
I found a reliable sign of baby being too cool is the mottled skin at arms and legs. My son had atopic dermatitis with a lot of itching when he was warm. So I tried to dress him in light clothing and to use only light sleeping bags and blankets. But of course therefore I had to check his body temperature often not to miss him being too cold. Hands and feet were often cold but only mottled skin on his arms and legs meant I had to use an additional blanket layer.
Both my kids were in a routine from day one which included having all naps and sleeps in a dark cool room where possible. This meant that they slept better and I was able to plan around their day. The other big thing was moving their longer sleep to night. I actively controlled when they were awake and asleep for the first couple of weeks to condition them to the routine. As a result they both slept 11pm-7am without a dream feed from 8 weeks and from 7pm-7am from around 3 months. They're now 14 and 9 and both have been adept at sleeping in their own without any co-sleep dependence.
Where I’m from babies always nap outside. My 3 month olds will sometimes nap for 5 hours, so the noise and light doesn’t seem to bother them 😅 they also almost never cry! But maybe that’s unusual 😇
The doctors in Canada are crap . My nephew was born durring the pandemic . This kid was 6 months old only four pounds above his birth weight and starting to lose weight. No doctor would see him for a regular appointment because he was throwing up. But we took him to the emergency room three times at this point because he was throwing up so much and was so tiny. Every time we did they said it was collic and that he was fine when we knew he wasn’t . We took him in four more times and it took until he was eight months old for them to diagnose him with a severe milk allergy. I’m still so mad . Then he was having a reaction, at this point we had an epipen for him. When we took him to the hospital for it they said that there is no way to diagnose a milk allergy and wouldn’t treat him for it ! Morel of the story; if you feel that it’s not collic and something serious trust your gut!
Thanks so much for sharing. Although it would have been extremely frustrating it is great to hear that you have been able to identify the milk allergy. Hopefully this means things start getting better for your nephew.
Hi! My kid was sick since birth, no one could figure it out. Eventually saw a GI and diagnosed with severe milk protein allergy at 5 weeks. The screaming 24/7 was absolute hell. He’s now 5mo and at a healthy weight, much better on an amino based formula but still has bad days. Hoping he grows out of it by 1yr.
@@EmmaHubbard thankfully he has his right formula and now is so wonderful! He’s only a year and half and says so many words is so strong and always has a wonderful smile! The worst part was he lost his front teeth and had to get most of his other capped because they all came in black since he was so nutrient deprived for so long. Still so mad but so happy he is okay now!
@@jamilleoglesby6739 awe I’m so sorry to hear that! At least they caught it early! I’m sure he will be fine ! Catching it that early usually they do grow out of it! Best of luck to you and your baby!
Hi Emma, thank you very much for all the videos, they have helped me so much as a first time mum! 😊 Could you please give me some advice - my baby only wants to sleep in the stroller during the day. He hasn't been able to fall asleep in his crib. However, he has no problem falling asleep in the crib in the evening. Thank you in advance for your help.
Oh man I'm trying so hard to help my 10 month old have more sleep independence. He was born with a breathing disorder, tongue, lip and cheek ties as well as a high pallet. He had his ties separated and has grown out of the breathing disorder. We are thankfully still nursing and he is so healthy and fabulous! BUT we have tried 8 different types of pacifiers and because he was used to sleeping upright on my chest in the first 6 months and nursing on command, he now uses the breast as a pacifier at night and we still aren't sleeping. He was worn in a wrap throughout the day and now cries at my feet big huge tears if I don't have him in a carrier on my back during the day for naps. Developmentally he is doing great he is already walking and eating healthy table foods... Our pediatrician, my husband and I are at a loss as to what to do next to help him nap in his own crib and sleep through the night without screaming the house down. Any and all tips are so appreciated! ❤
Just want to say, that's perfectly biologically normal for a 10 month old. I still nurse my 2.5 year old at night sometimes. Do whatever you need to do for the overall health of all involved, but from the way you've written your comment, it sounded like you don't think it's normal. Breast milk still has significant benefits at that age, and tbh the immune system isn't really fully developed until around 7 years old (which might be why kids across the world self wean anywhere between age 2-7!). Sleeping through the night is also unrealistic - you may manage to get them content in their own space (though being quiet doesn't actually necessarily mean calm), but I definitely wouldn't be expecting them to sleep through the night - it's not anything you can control, because waking up regularly to make sure they're safe is biologically normal x
People judge the Ferber method but my son has been an excellent sleeper since he was 6 months old when I implemented it. He is 3 now and sleeps all night in his own bed. Obviously things happen like wetting the bed or nightmare occasionally, but I very rarely find myself up at night. You do feel a lot of guilt doing it, I did, but we all slept better for it and ultimately were all in better moods and were happier for it.
I know that all babies/kids are different but as thr last in my friend group to have kids, we saw how a dark room that's either silent or filled with white noise machines led to all of the babies ans then when they became toddlers ans and young kids who absolutely NEEDED that environment to sleep. We had to stop having game nights because kids in separate bedrooms could not sleep. Ours were fine stayed asleep even as we got them up to take them to the car. Also, some of our friends as adults can't sleep unless the room is just so. Maybe it's coincidence but we didnt want that for our twins and since my husband and I don't need black out curtains or noise machines to sleep as adults (or when we were babies/kids) it only seemed logical to have them sleep in the space abs and conditions available. Never in a high traffic, bustling dining room or living room but not a silent home thats dark as night either. Reminder that as parents we are all doing a great job and doing what's best for us as parents and our kiddos in the given situations we find ourselves.
My grandmother would creep around the house whenever my mother was sleeping as a baby and she swore that was why she has been a light sleeper her whole life, so when I was born she never crept around and certainly wasn’t quiet (it is impossible for her to be quiet 😂) and guess what? I have always also a light sleeper too despite that. I think that some people are just programmed that way 🤷♀️.
I wasn’t sleep trained as a baby or a child really. I slept through the night with the light on till I was a teen and to this day can not go to sleep in silence or just white noise. There has to be someone talking.
@@lillianlamantia9605 I agree, my girl was born in May last year and I remember it was very hot where we live, we had to have the windows open. Baby slept through every noise outside no worries. But at some point it stopped (although she was used to it), she started to be a light sleeper and just wouldn't sleep in a silent room without blackout curtains anymore. So we got those and a music box. And yeah my mum i.e. never slept in a dark room as a baby or in silence, but as an adult she absolutely needs total darkness and silence.
Hi Emma, rhanks for this video. I wondering how the sleep cycles works in a 2 years old toddler. My daughter is still waking up at nights (2 or 3 times) and clearly says she wants to nurse. She naps 1h.30 at noon. Thanks for your reply!
I see the logic of a dark room for naps and have been trying this with my newborn with pink noise and red light but red nose say even all day sleeps should be in the same room as caregivers so I’m worried I shouldn’t be doing this. I have an older daughter so can’t sit in a dark room with my baby for naps. With my older daughter she slept in a secondary bassinet in the living area and was a great napper on the go unlike many of my friends whose babies would sleep in the dark room but never in the pram! What I did see with my daughter though is reflected in what you say here that she had shorter 30 min naps but sometimes 4 a day. She also was a terrible sleeper at night from around 4months although had feeding and weight issues too and with silent reflux.
My daughter came out of the womb with lungs. She is loud enough that we don’t need baby monitors. My husband woke her up last night because he thought she was actually crying, yeah she was sleeping.
Two of my three babies have been criers. Both have suffered from food intolerances and got better once I fix my diet but still poor sleepers. Dark room with white noise for my 4 month old is working a bit getting to sleep an average of 39 minutes. Now, if I wear her she will sleep up to two hours! 😅
It annoys me, too. My niece was so warm she was sweating on a hot, summer day, but she still had cold feet. Her grandma insisted she was cold and needed to bundle up, but she was already sweating! I removed her swaddle and helped her cool down. She wouldn't be sweating if she was cold.
im totally team free the feet unless they’re actually necessary, much to my mothers’ and grandmothers’ dismay 😂 I don’t like socks… so I just don’t feel compelled to always have my kids wear them
Emma, I have a question.....my baby is now 7mo. Since he was a newborn, he would sleep just fine under low temperatures (fan/a.c) his body temperature will be just fine because I would dress him up in long sleeves and full-length onsie....however, his face (cheek/nose)becomes very very cold he ends up waking up and keeps rubbing his face/ eyes in discomfort... this disrupts his sleep.....pls advice, how can I avoid his face from becoming cold? If I increase the temperature, he wakes up feeling too hot 🙄 (He doesn't sleep directly under the fan/a.c)
I don’t know if I agree with the noise whilst they’re sleeping. My baby came out of the womb used to noise 😂 we’re African so we’re loud people and we didn’t do it intentionally but we noticed it didn’t disturb her sleep at all. And I’m glad because it means not every little sound will rouse her. I guess different strokes for different folks 🤷🏻♀️
I'm not african, but this is true in our house too! My first sleeps through everything, my second however doesn't, and the biggest difference is my first was constantly with me so heard everything, my second was out into his room for naps because I had a toddler to take care of now. Ah, the woes of parenting.
I vacuum in the other room on purpose when baby naps. I have with all four of my children. I really believe it helps to desensitize them to the ambient noise of an active home. We are a large, growing family and the house is never completely quiet. Obviously, loud sudden noises are a different matter but I think getting them used to the low hum of life is very beneficial, especially with so many ages and activities going on even during nap times.
My sister has a phobia of silence. She sleeps well with all kinds of noise, but can't sleep at all when it's quiet. She's also afraid of the dark, and needs a nightlight. I'm the exact opposite and need total dark and as quiet as possible. We've never grown out of those and still seem to need that stuff as adults.
Since when (how old) should we put baby to nap in dark environment? I've heard that newborns (mine on the way) need to first learn night and day and it's important to keep the room dark at night and light during the day.
Newborns are born with an immature circadian rhythm. So they do not have a concept of day and night. This will develop in the first few months naturally. You can help your little one know the difference by keeping light to the minimum at night (so during overnight feeds), as this will just let the know that it's time to go back to sleep. But during the day following the rhythm of feeding when they wake and then playing with them (once they can tolerate staying awake for longer after a feed) will help them know the difference. Making them nap in a bright room during the day is not necessary and can just lead to shorter naps.
A friend was visiting my home in the day. She put her baby down for a nap in my bedroom, but the baby wouldn't go to sleep. After a long while of mom getting frustrated, I went in my room and put the blackout curtains up. Baby stopped crying almost instanatly, calmed down in the play pen, and fell asleep! Her momma was there and saw this the immediate change. I think it convinced her that dark rooms are best for naps 😅
Should you start doing this from newborn? So many friends say their baby just slept on them/in a sling. Do you need to stay in the same room as they when you put them down in the dark room (I mean for day naps)?
When my baby was born, she had a healthy layer of fat and was very alert. I was able to do skin to skin and nurse her. I kept her in just a diaper on my bare chest for hours, and she was quite warm to the point of sweating. The room was pretty cool, probably 72°F. The nurses chastised me for not dressing her, saying she was cold, and I was so dead tired and hungry I let them dress and swaddle her. Once they did that, after probably twenty minutes she stopped sweating. I assumed they were right, but it is weird that she was so warm and sweaty if she was actually cold. What do you guys think?
Children don't regulate tgier temperature as well as adults do. I would think that when your baby was skin to skin with you for a while, her temperature would raise to match yours, and then perhaps raise a bit more because two people generate more body heat? So, then, when she started sweating, she became cold very rapidly on the parts of her that were not touching you, but the bits that were touching you were still warm. That sort of temperature variation could be uncomfortable for a baby I think, so it's better to try to keep them at a more consistent temperature, which is what swaddling is supposed to do up to a certain age. Once kids get past some developmental stage, they regulate their temperature better and I think that's why they don't need to be swaddled?
With skin to skin in the hospital they still recommend a blanket over the baby on top of you. Newborn Babies can’t regulate their own temperature so it’s important to keep them warm - in the uk we have a hat on them for 24 hours after birth. Even if a baby has a fever it’s still recommended they’re dressed for the room temp. It sounds like essentially your baby’s body was giving itself a fever to keep warm because it was loosing heat rapidly.
Newborns get cold very early. The nurse was probably right, but please don't feel guilty -- you were a new mum!!! You couldn't have known that what you were doing wasn't right. We live and learn from experience. I've done the same during my first day as a new mum. The only difference is, it happened a bit later and I was awake enough to check baby when the nurse alerted me that I didn't dress them enough and I thought they were wrong but nope - once I checked baby's body I realised the nurse was right. 😢 They can seem warm but be cold... And it can tip over from one extreme to the other in a matter of minutes.
My baby sleeps very nicely in a quiet, dark room (1-2 hours) every like 2,5 -3 hours. She likes to drink milk before her sleep. I was advised that I should let the baby sleep in living room with us watching TV 😒 I have this perfect system, she is always happy. Why should she sleep 30 min in a lout environment instead of 1-2 hours in quiet? She had 3 kids, but still! some advices are not going through my system well and I don’t feel bad 😂 😏 you’re the best mama for your baby 😊
So true! It's great that you are confident enough to do what feels right for you and your little one! It sounds like your system is working very well ❤️
@@EmmaHubbard 🙏 thank you!! I LOVE you so much! 🥰🥰 You helped me a lot throughout so many moments with my baby! You do an amazing job! Thank you for your efforts 🤧 🌟🤲🏻
The problem is that if they always need quiet environment to sleep, then the rest of the home can't function normaly because every stupid little noise will wake them up. If they learn to sleep in loud environment, the baby won't wake up easily during nap and the family can go about their day. Not everyone lives in big houses when you can leave baby upstairs and do whatewer downstairs. There are families in apartements and small condos as well and they have things to do.
I struggle with knowing how to best dress my 7 week old at night. We keep it pretty cool with AC (70°) in our bedroom where she sleeps in her bassinet. I sleep with a blanket and comforter on top of me. Is she ok with long sleeve footed pjs and a swaddle over top? (I do a modified swaddle where her arms are out).
I have read that babies should sleep in the light during the day, as dark rooms for sleep interrupts the development of the circadian rhythm. Any truth to that?
Yes, very true but let's change it to "less dark than night". Most blackout curtains let in some light during the day, so you're still good with them. Also good exposure to sunlight during day wake windows helps, and ofc limiting (especially blue) light at night! So unless you put them to sleep in a pitch-black windowless room, and live in an underground bunker during the day but instead offer a quite dark (perhaps as dark as you can make it) room, + give exposure to daylight and day activities during the day you're good!
I really need guidance. My 2 month old will yawn and put her hands to her face, but she never "just" falls asleep. If i dont rock her, she will stay awake for 10+ hours. She's done this since the 1 month old age. Everyone i've talked to has told me that their kids would simply fall asleep on the spot when they got tired. The first 3 ish weeks were easy since she would fall asleep after getting her bottle, however this is not the case after she got bigger. In the beginning we figured she was just a baby that was awake alot, but it did not feel right. We then read about wake windows, and ever since we've tried to not let her stay awake for more than 2 hours. Sometimes it still takes us over 6+ hours to get her back to sleep with almost constant rocking etc. Other days she falls asleep after 2 minutes in the stroller.
Antoine have issues trying to get their baby to sleep anywhere other than a babywrap/carrier? Hé doesn’t fall asleep in bed or crib, I try to comfort him but the crying gets worse and doesn’t stop until I put him in carrier.
Thank you for the video! What would you recommend if a baby wakes up at night but doesn't cry? My daughter is 5.5 months and she wakes up 5-6 times at night. She doesn't cry but starts crawling (started as of last week). She gets 2-3 hours of sleep during the day. Thanks!
Mine just didn’t need a lot of sleep, apparently, lol! He’d make sounds to himself or just be quiet, staying awake for long stretches at night and I just let him be. He went to one nap during the day around 6-months for 1-2.5 hours and stopped napping around 16-months old (except rare times when he was very active). He’s still a “night owl” who takes a long time to fall asleep and doesn’t sleep the 10-13 hours recommended for his age, but more like 8-9 normally. He’s 4-years old now, for reference. Some temperaments seem to come with either light sleeping and/or requiring less hours!
How do babies survive in the really loud streets in Asian cities? These children have been used to the noise since birth and it no longer bothers them as older children and adults. I can't even see any adverse development in these children either.
Could really use some advice. Weve tried everything but pur son just will not nap for extended period of time during the day (unless its a contact nap on my wife at which case hell sleep 2-2.5 hours on her). He still sleeps great at night on his own. Just dint know of this is his personality trait, phase or we r doing something wrong. Open to suggestions.
Emma I love your videos, however the thumbnails and titles are almost always click baity without any information about what they are about. This means that it's hard for us to find what we need or try to rewatch some specific video. I understand how you need to attract more audiences and stuff but can you put some more info in the video titles somehow? Thank you
Totally agree. To train the baby to sleep in a noisy environment is the most nonsensical, counterintuitive idea I've ever heard. How come an adult get to nap in a quiet cozy bed whereas a baby needs to sleep in the living room with the vacuum on? Neither my children can fall asleep where it's noisy. There's just too much to life to stay asleep. They'd rather keep awake and watch the people around! The idea of the advice is to keep the baby unable to sleep in a noisy environment now, so that they can sleep in a noisy environment in the future? But as a mum, I need them to sleep now! And I want to rest or sleep quietly too! 😂
Hi! I'm currently pregnant with my first child and trying to plan whether he'll just need his bedside bassinet in our bedroom or whether I should get another little bassinet/cot to put him down for daytime naps in the living room, where I would spend most of the daytime. It's next to the kitchen so I could keep an eye on my sleeping baby while doing housework, but it obviously won't be dark or quiet. It makes sense that a cool, dark, quiet room would improve a baby's sleep, but I'm worried about increasing his risk of SIDS by leaving him alone in a room and doing housework on the other end of the apartment. Maybe it's just over the top because my eldest sister died from SIDS in the 80's and my mum keeps telling me how afterwards she never let us sleep out of her sight for fear of it happening again. Can you give any advice on this? Is there a danger to the baby reaching too deep a sleep state and then stop breathing because they aren't exposed to any stimuli keeping them in somewhat lighter sleep stages?
I’ve been a nanny and childcare professional for over fifteen years and worked with many infants so I’ll give you my advice and hope it helps! First of all, different things work for different people so although the advice on here is accurate, I would still say there are many babies who won’t sleep in a room filled with light or noise once they get used to only dark and quiet rooms, and also there’s absolutely nothing wrong with allowing your brand new infant to nap in the living room. Most infants I’ve watched did nap in the living room or anywhere publicly for the first couple of months, and then once they reached about 3 months, they started napping in their cribs, and of course I always had a baby monitor with me so I could still see them. It sounds like you would feel more comfortable having your infant near you so do what’s best for you. The most important thing to remember in order to get your baby to sleep well is to allow them to fall asleep on their own, whether it’s in their crib or anywhere else. Once you see those sleep signals (different signals depending on age but when they’re very young, their eyebrows might get a bit red, and they typically start yawning) swaddle them or put them in their sleep sack (arms in until they begin fighting it, usually around 3 months and then arms free) and place them in their bed while still awake. I wish you the best of luck and am so excited for you!
@@BY-yw4ts Thank you for taking the time to reply and share your knowledge! This really helps. I am very curious for our sleeping journey, baby is due in just a few weeks now! :-)
sometimes my baby just squeals and wiggles in her sleep but she’ll do this for 10-20 mins and then I end up picking her up because it feels like she’ll never settle. I end up giving her a bottle because then she’ll cry out when I grab her. Is 20 mins a normal time to have unsettled REM sleep?
What if we live in a busy city and cannot control the sounds coming from outdoors? (neighboors, cars and motorbikes, sirenes as well as the metro's vibration and structural noise)? We took the room that is next to the street for us and we will give baby the "quieter room" on the other side of the house (I am currently pregnant) but 1. He will be sleeping next to us the first few months and 2. The structural noise as well as the noise from neighboors, the washing machine as well the door entrance of the building will still be there. Not to forget the metro that is very frequent and stops for 3-4 hours at night and our own voices in the small appartement. We will be using a white noise machine and invested in noise& blackout curtains. The windows have double glazing but I am afraid there is nothing much we can do more than that. I am very worried about the sudden sounds and the continuous metro sound even if it's not loud, since we cannot move to another house. Is there a possibility that the baby will get used to all that? Or will it be a torture for both him and his parents? Thank you for your response
Not the author of the video, but a mom: Your baby will definitely get used to the noise. If you feel that the getting used to it takes too long, you need more sleep yourself and a quieter room would help, you could sleep in the baby's bedroom for as long as you want to sleep in the same room, rather than having him in your own bedroom. Babies adjust to a wide variety of circumstances. And on the other hand, every child is different. I have three - one would not sleep until she got into school. Believe me, I was very consistent but to no avail, she just needed more input than I could give her. The other did what according to the books babies should do: she took two naps, later one nap per day and learnt to sleep through the night by the time she was maybe a year old. Our third child never took a nap during daytime, not even as a newborn. But he slept through the night from the day he was born. We have less influence than we think. But all will sleep eventually.
@@LettersFromAFriend thank you so so much for your input and sharing your own experience with us! This was helpful to me and reassuring 😊 I will have naps in the quieter room during the day, next to his bed, so that he gets used to it. The night in our room should be fine (less noise).
my baby is 2 months and she has a good sense of circadian rhythm. However, during the day, she refuses to be put down to sleep in a bassinet, and needs contact napping. Should we continue to let her contact nap? Will they eventually “grow out of it”? or is it developing a bad habit?
It really depends on what you are comfortable with. If you're happy to I would try and have one nap in the bassinet during the day (usually the first nap is the easiest nap of the day, as the day goes on settling them to sleep can get a bit more challenging). This will just give her an opportunity to become familiar with this space for naps.
Concerned about my 14 month old grandson. He wakes 2 hourly ALL night. Shouldn't he be sleeping longer. All my kids were sleeping through the night well before one year old. Help please...
My one year still has the problem of not beinh able to sleep n wakes up with slightest sound. Earlier he couldn't sleep longer now that is under control but has to be pin drop silence 😢
My son going to be one he started to sleep all night at 10 months, its was a total struggle, now trying to wean off the breastfeeding, he only sleep by breastfeeding?? What can i do to help him sleep console himself to sleep without the crying method??
Not necessarily. At 7 months they aren’t eating a lot of solids anyway and formula or breastmilk meets their nutritional needs. There are lots of reasons your little one might be waking. In this video I go through the reasons a little one might be waking. Hopefully this helps you work out what the cause is and most importantly what you can do to reduce the wakes. th-cam.com/video/1ztReVnfU2g/w-d-xo.html&feature=sharec
i feel this is also kind of... common sense? it's most relaxing for adults to fall asleep in cool dark rooms with a blanket as well. adults CAN fall asleep in bright and loud environments but that doesn't mean it's an enjoyable experience for us. why should babies be made to sleep like that ?
Baby sleep is a BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY and most of the advice out there is ABSOLUTE RUBBISH I haven't watched the video as yet, but I'm going to throw my personal feelings into the comment section beforehand so it's not skewed by Emma's wonderful work. Anything other than gentle sleep training before 6 months has always made me feel so very uncomfortable. They need us, they need our presence, they need our comfort... They won't need it to get to sleep, forever, you won't be sitting next to your 16YO bed with your hand on their back, singing or rocking to get them to sleep Call me soft hearted, call me irrational but... Why would anyone want to force this tiny, defenceless, confused, scared, dependant, still growing and learning human being to "self soothe" by screaming themselves to sleep...that seems like neglect to me. And every child is so different, every family is so different but a babies need to feel safe and secure doesn't change.
Where I live, sleep training is not a thing. It was for a short time in then 90s but most people found it cruel so it was quickly forgotten. Baby sleep advice here is: It's only a phase. This won't last forever. Every child will sleep sooner or later.
My baby is three months old and has always slept in a swaddle one of the velcro ones I know you're not supposed to start sleep training until they're about six months old but I was wondering when would be the best time to start getting them to sleep without a swaddle also any tips on how to transition them from a bassinet in your room to a crib in their own room? We tried just keeping one arm out of the swaddle but he didn't sleep well at all doing that.
We didn't have any kind of fancy dedicated swaddle thing. We just swaddled our son in a receiving blanket (otherwise naked but for a diaper) and put a blanket or two over him (it was still very cold at night when he was born, and cool in the house). He's now 3 and a half months and hasn't been swaddled in about 2 months. We noticed he was wiggling himself out of the swaddle during the night, so we started loosening the swaddle. Then it got very warm outside and hot in the house and he started kicking off the receiving blanket entirely. It's now used 100% as a blanket. In short, we let our baby tell us when to stop swaddling. If your baby still wants to be swaddled, don't worry about teaching him not to be swaddled.
@@stiaininbeglan3844 ok i'll do that because I think he still very much wants to be swaddled. But what about when he outgrows the 3-6 month swaddles? He's very long, and all I found for after that were sleepsacks. Are those a good idea? I think this would be a very good topic for Mrs. Emma to cover.
@@cherishwillis4893my son loved sleep sacks. I did those for a very long time. Just try lots of things. I've seen people swaddle their babies until they were 2 using a blanket. My son grew to love onsies after he outgrew the sleep sack. I would leave him with a small blanket to snuggle and he was happy. Every baby does different things so trying everything as you go helps.
“Not responding to your crying baby immediately will cause them to have mental health issues later on and reduce their ability to self sooth” is the WORST baby advice I’ve heard because I believed it and created an attached baby :(
I've gone with the idea that he should be able to sleep with normal noises, and some light. We keep a nightlight on at night, but during the day he sleeps wherever i am (usually the living room). I keep the sounds reasonable, but not super quite. That being said, I'm pretty sure we have gotten very lucky, he is s good sleeper... so far.
Sorry is not the subject of the video but i need to ask. My 3 months old baby smiles to me, dad and grandparents.. but for the rest she doesnt smile back to people.. is that not normal?
If she is smiling at you, dad and grandparents then that is great. I wouldn't be concerned if he doesn't smile at other people. But if you are worried just chat to your doctor about it.
When my baby sleeps and I put Her down after few minutes she starts to cry ,so I have to take her in my lap again she would sleep in lap but not in crib or on bed she sleeps in crib or bed during night but during day she only sleeps in my lap when she entered in 5th month before it was not like this she used to sleep in crib during day as well what to do please suggest me
I remember when I was pregnant I thought it was good advice so I wanted to try it. I watch some of your videos while pregnant and in one of them you said "If you can't sleep in a noisy room. Why do you expect a baby to do it". It made me think and I was yeah she is right. So I didn't do it any my baby is a happy baby 🥰🥰
What's funny is as a baby I was trained to sleep in dark quites places and wake up once the lights on just like my other siblings and we wake up very easily to alarms and other stuff now my step siblings where taught to sleep anywhere and they never wake up to loud sounds like alarm clocks or stuff slamming around
We thought we had the calmest baby ever. We took him everywhere and he would sleep in bright, loud places. In retrospect, I realize he is autistic and VERY sound sensitive. He was shutting down, not calm. I wonder how much his future social anxiety and problems with his autonomic nervous system were caused by this kind of assault.
I was raised in the far country side, quiet with dark nights. Now I'm super sensitive to noise and light. I have to sleep in complete darkness with earplugs. Of course babies need to be put on adequate sleep situations every day, but making them used to noise and light on occasions is a long term gift. I want my kid to sleep well his whole life, not just now.
Most advices I got from people around me were just counterproductive and I stopped listening to them. I usually find good advice here or on other similar channels, often also in FB groups.
Hi Emma ... My baby diagnosed with cerebellar agenesis with pontine hypoplasia..... She is one .... Don't sit without support.... But tries to sit for 1 minute without support. But then she disbalanced ...... Other activities are normal .... Is she will improve with physiotherapy ? I'm so worried.........
Hi! I understand this would be very concerning for you. I do recommend you connect with a physiotherapist as they will be able to provide you with specific activities to help develop your little ones sitting balance and overall gross motor skills. They would also be the best person to talk about your concerns regarding the potential impact this might have in the future. I wish you all the best!
You make it sound like babies will fall asleep on their own...Then where does over tired baby stage come in? Should you then not look at wake windows. My baby of almost 10month still screams when I put him on his back and even his front. He has to be held, from birth and only sleeps some naps 2hours others 15mins for naps and during the night. I know if his naps are better then he will be less grumpy but I can't figure out how to get him to sleep without a fuss.
In the video I explain that in noisy, loud spaces babies will go to sleep if they have to. It might take more effort on their part as they have to filter out information to fall asleep but eventually the sleep pressure will get so high that they cannot stay awake. But, as I mentioned it isn't always the best sleep for a baby. To help your little one fall asleep it is best to look at their tired cues (wake windows can help you identify these) and then put them to bed when they are tired. What you will notice is they will show you early tired cues, then late tired cues. If you get to the late tired cues your baby will still fall asleep but it will take more effort on your part as you will need to calm them down first.
My first baby didn't have this, either.😢 As a 3 month old, he'd sleep for twenty minutes at a time if I put him in the carrier, and sometimes would drop off while nursing, but mainly he was awake and crying or alert. BIG eyes, he didn't want to miss anything! Then he'd sleep for seven hours straight at night. With no real naps, that's SO not enough sleep for a baby. We were all miserable. We sleep trained around ten months and his personality switched from fretfully demanding to cheerfully busy. He had been severely sleep deprived, and it made him miserable. Anyway, wanted to just say that later he was diagnosed with ADHD, and I've heard since then that often babies with ADHD have a harder time falling asleep naturally. Maybe because they're so interested in what's going on and can't regulate their attention to ignore it enough to fall asleep. We had to be very strict with scheduling and a dark quiet room, but enough sleep made a huge positive difference in his life. Maybe that's something to keep in mind for your baby as well.
Hi Emma! Do you have any advice for a newborn that has a very hard time falling asleep? We feel like we’ve done everything to support our 5 week old bub- very dark room, white noise, swaddle and cuddles at his first tired signs, but he’ll actively resist and start wailing. He falls asleep at the breast but will usually wake up within 5 minutes. He won’t even fall asleep on me! It’s been extremely exhausting for us both, usually our days end with a very unhappy mom and babe where he’s screaming and will pass out from exhaustion. Took him to a baby chiropractor and got him adjusted- Dr. says it’s not colic as he’s happy in the morning before he gets overtired. Any advice would be so appreciated!
Hi Lauren, if your little one is getting very unsettled in the afternoon but he is happy at the start of the day then I would say it is because of something called the period of purple crying. This is something that is developmentally normal and starts at 2 weeks of age then peaks at 6 - 8 and gradually reduces by 3 - 4 months. During this time they are very unsettled and cluster feed often and like to be on you. The other thing worth noting is that babies at this age generally have a really late bedtime, so 10pm +. Often what parents notice if that if they try to put them to bed earlier they just wake up and fuss and then you spend the next few hours having a "bedtime battle". You might find this video helpful as I explain these two things in more detail - th-cam.com/video/KiER6D3DuaQ/w-d-xo.html. In saying that if he is unsettled all the time, then I would go back to the doctor to see if there is anything medical going on and also check that feeding is going well. I hope that helps!
Hi Lauren, saw your comment and wanted to send you good vibes and strength! My son had a super rough purple crying period as well but he indeed grew out of it after 3 months. It was so hard because our parents thought that it was not normal, and worried us about the constant crying. We tried everything, but nothing really helped except making sure he got all his naps during the day and feeding him as much as he wanted. He simply grew out of it. He's now a happy and healthy 3 year old. Wishing you the best through this period!!
Yes my son had the same problem. I had no one with wisdom to sooth me and cried a lot. Sleep was so stressful. By 6 months old I sleep trained my son and he has been an incredible sleeper since. He is now 3 and sleeps through the night no problem in his own bed. It is a long stint, but it does get better, I promise. Be strong!
I want to chime in and say temperament is a major factor. I’ve got a 3month baby and she is alert and intense, reactive and vet strong. We are currently doing some assisted sleep training as we’ve tried everything else. Her alertness makes her a catnapper also… she’s been going through the 3 month sleep regression since 2 months, ha! Our baby sleep coach had a son that mirrors our bubs temperament. I was a pretty chill baby…
People would tell me that I need to make my baby sleep in light and noise and stop hushing people Bc my baby is sleeping. I always knew I was right to tell them to stfu.
Thanks for watching! Which advice have you been told? Don't forget to get your free New Parent's Guide to Naps here: brightestbeginning.com/nap-guide/
@EmmaHubbard Ma'am, father and husband here. My wife believes that if I don't respond immediately I'm a bad father and not responding immediately can hurt the child mentally. She believes that when I say wait to see what he does I'm referring to the cryout method. I've even asked her to let me put him to sleep while he was dozing off and her response was, I'm not going to let him cry no matter what? Please address if you can. P.S. she also has a friend with a PHD in her ears who also believes I'm hurting the child mentally. He's 7 months.
When it comes to baby's temperature the easiest advice I got from a midwife was cool cheek, warm forehead. if baby's cheeks are warm take off a layer of blankets, if their forehead is cool add a layer of blankets (or change the temperature of the whole room). That way you don't need to find a way to reach in under their clothes.
This is AWESOME advice! Thank you! I'm going to implement this. I had an exchange of words with my mom about my baby being cold when he was fine. 😭
Babies should not have blankets in bed! My cousin lost her only child 11 years ago to SIDS, but her baby was tangled in his blankets. Please don't put covers on sleeping babies!
@griffinmathers929 - it depends on whether the blankets are loose (dangerous) or properly tucked. The following is from the official red nose SIDS website:
Make up baby’s bed so baby sleeps at the bottom of the cot and the blankets can only reach as far as baby’s chest, ensuring baby cannot move down during sleep and get his/her head covered by bedding.
@griffinmathers929 sleep sacks are a great alternative to blankets! Keeps baby warm and they can't wrap their faces in it.
@@AnimalsAreBetterThanPeople once you know the temperature of the room and how baby will deal with it sure, sleep sacks are a good option. But blankets can be layered depending on the room temperature (not everyone has access to reliable climate control to keep the room at the same temperature all the time) so long as they are tucked in properly and low enough that baby can't wiggle down underneath they really aren't much danger of flopping over baby's face.
All 3 of my kids are great sleepers and I have been following this advice since my 1st child. It made sense to me that they would need to sleep in a dark quiet room during the day when possible. But I will tell you that we had plenty of relatives who criticized me for it with every single one of my kids. It's very hard to handle the criticism especially when it's your first child.
Yes 😢
As a first time mum eith a now 4mth old, I agree! It's very hard sometimes to stick to your guns and follow what you believe is right when in the back of your mind there's the doubt that "hey, these people are experienced and I'm not, and advice changed all the time. Who's to say who's right/wrong?" It can be challenging to trust your own thoughts and feelings, also with the fear of getting it wrong.
It was actually an older Moroccan man that explained to us, as new parents, that the baby may "sleep" in noisy places, but they won't get that really deep sleep they need so much. And frankly, while we had our baby in a lot of bright, noisy places at the beginning of her life, every chance she did get to sleep in a quiet place she seemed to love it. Slept long, slept better, was in a better mood. And somehow that's just what we transitioned to. It was well worth it.
Thanks so much for sharing. My little one also naps better in a dark room.
We used this to turn our newborn diurnal, but now that they're diurnal they nap swaddled in a room with the blinds drawn.
This makes me feel so much better! My baby has a pitch black room and a great sleep schedule built from watching sleepy cues. But everyone else’s baby sleeps in the car, and on outings. But mine needs it to be dark and absolutely silent/sound machine. I’ve been feeling like I’ve ruined her chance to sleep anywhere anytime and thus get to do more things because of that adaptability. But she really is the happiest baby. And her same age cousins who will just fall asleep wherever are a little grumpier. So maybe you have a point and I’m gonna go with what you said to make myself feel better haha
My 3mo takes most of her naps in the baby carrier while I chase my 2yo around. When big brother is awake her naps are 30-45 min generally. When he naps midday, she always naps too even if she's had a shorter than usual wake window, and she always naps the full 2 hours that he is down because it's so much quieter and more restful without me running her all over the place
@@AlauraJones😂❤
“Tire them out all day and they’ll sleep at night” is the worst advice I got from relatives. Thankfully one of my sisters is a sleep therapist and gave us the great advice to sleep as much as possible during the day in a dark room. Since 3 months he has slept perfectly all night and has slept a single 3 hour nap during the day since 1 year old.
It is terrible advice! It's so great that your sister was able to steer you in the right direction!
Yes I've been told this countless times! It's not true. Ugh.
I saw this post when pregnant w my first baby and followed this nap/sleep routine and ever since she was 3 months she would sleep all night and 1 1/2 hour naps 2 times a day . She’s 19 months now and still same great sleeping routine. Do this routine ! ❤
Best recipe for a cranky and unhappy baby! As soon as our started to sleep more during the day, falling asleep was also easier.
My baby struggled to sleep during the day when she was a newborn, and so I was really struggling with that and trying to figure it out, but most of the people I talked to (who were not doctors) said: "oh! That's great! Now she'll sleep at night better!" Of course that was not at all true and was very annoying
My parents tell me that I screamed for the first month and a half of my life and they understood it as colic. I was finally cured when a lady they met at a dry cleaning place who happened to have a lot of kids, placed me on my side and tapped me on the back and I was instantly better. She then reccomended to give me some peppermint water and I had no issues from then on. However, I still use peppermint to cure upset stomachs to this day.
I thought babies weren't meant to drink water
@@AnnafromHungarylvNW They aren't because a small amount of water can over load the kidneys and be lethal but that was the old trick to help colic supposedly.
@@nikkifoster9943Yup! That's why now there is baby pepcid.
I have always thought colic was actually "The doctor has no idea what is going on"
😂😂😂@@griffinmathers929
How did we build the urge to train babies into every unnatural situation? My intuition waved red flags with every tip and trick like these… great video!❤
And yet in history, for example an Asian baby was strapped to mum and out side to sleep while mum worked while carrying the Bub.. lots of cultures did this. No dark quiet room there
Baby wearing is nice and warm, close to Mum’s heart and that does it to help baby sleep** Mainly because babies want what they need and they need to be close to Mum or Dad**
Thank you for this! I had so many people tell me to nap my son in the living room instead of his room because it was too quiet. I told them that babies, like adults, can get used to sleeping in noise and light, but it's not really the best sleeping conditions. I want my baby to get the best sleep, so I give him the best sleeping conditions. He's in a way better mood when he wakes up after a crib nap in the dark than a stroller nap or a car nap.
It’s always funny hearing people say to put a baby down in a bright, hectic environment knowing full well that they themselves would have a bad sleep if they were in the same environment😅 We all seek out dark, quiet rooms for our own naps.
Same. Totally agree
"When babies get tired enough they'll succumb to sleep no matter where they are."
Someone forgot to tell my nephew that lol. 7 hours awake and practically delirious with tiredness... still won't sleep if he thinks he might be missing out on something.
same here. My LB won't sleep anywhere else but in his cot. When we travelled to visit his grandparents who lives abroad, he was up from 6am to 6pm and he was only 11months old 😢 he would not sleep in car seats, prams or airplanes 😂
Yeah same lol
This is exactly word for word how my parents described me as a baby/toddler, and it turns out my difficulty sleeping was a symptom of adhd. Not saying your nephew has it for sure but it could be worth just keeping an eye out.
My baby sleeps best when carried or laying on my chest. And being in the same room as their parents reduces the risk of SIDS both day and night, which is important to me. So my baby doesn't sleep in a super quiet, dark room very often.
It’s great that you have found method that works for you both.
I just want to quickly clarify that you need to be in the same room when they are sleeping during the day and night. AAP and Red Nose Australia state that sleeping on a firm, flat surface while lying on their back takes priority over being in the same room day and night. So if like most families you only have one crib or bassinet and it’s set up in the bedroom then that is where they should sleep during the day. I hope that makes a bit more sense.
@@EmmaHubbard Thanks for your reply. Just wanted to clarify for other viewers that I only let my baby sleep on my chest when I'm awake. Of course, otherwise it wouldn't be safe.
This is the same for me. My little one likes to stroke my hand when she's falling asleep. So she sleeps in the living room during the day. And she sleeps through the night already. But I will try the bedroom again soon.
This didn’t work for us. Too much day sleep relieved too much sleep pressure, and made our days miserable sitting in the dark constantly trying to get “normal” nap lengths and our night miserable with frequent wakings. Dark, long naps just aren’t for low sleep needs babies.
I just coddled my baby close when he started to fuss and when he got that glazy relaxed look I'd set him down in his crib in his room and just left him there in the dark and went out about the house to finally get my cleaning done while he napped he's a toddler now and will sleep anywhere I think the secret is to not wait until the kids is over exhausted and screaming and crying to try for a nap if you catch them at the first eye rub and little fuss and start the nap ritual then it's the best
It was definitely a crazy/interesting experience the first time I discovered my baby wanting to nap in his room as if it was bedtime. Just one day I could tell he was tired and he was being fussy. Even after making the office quiet for him and a little darker, he just wouldn't let himself sleep! So I decided to take him to his room where it was MUCH darker and cooler and shortly after putting him in his crib, he was out! Ever since then I can always expect him to want a "crib nap" around the same time every day. I just try to follow his cues!
Thank you for this informative video! Sadly I cant say my baby falls asleep whenever sleep pressure is enough: as a newborn he used to be able to stay awake for 6 hours at a time and then I would struggle to put him to sleep as he was overtired. Turns out I wasnt able to notice signs he wanted to sleep (he would rub his eyes on my chest but only if I took him in my arms and he would rarely yawn). So once I noticed that he would show signs and calm down only in my arms, I realized he needed the security of my arms to sleep during the day ( I would stay awake in the quiet and dark living room). I couldnt understand because at night he sleeps in his crib very well (only wakes up once to eat from 2 months on and now barely wakes up at 7mo). It took me time (and going against the pressure of people around me) to accept that for now, my son needs me or his dad to fall asleep during the day (except in the car seat and stroller he can also fall asleep but after at least 30mins of looking around). To kind of stop looking around and relax in our arms. If I put him down in his crib he would wake up crying because of the change in his environnement after only 30mins naps. Whereas in my arms he can sleep 3h easily. So the choice was easy to make 😂
I wish all of these videos were given in a little pack after the birth of a child to every parent especially first time parents. It would have helped me through so many hard times as a first time parent. Especially sleep time.
As a parent of twins, it's hard to follow the advice to just let them cry for a few minutes at night because the noise quickly wakes the other one up 😂. I hope you could also make sleep advice videos for multiples.
Love your channel! Your tummy time vids help my twins a lot. Cheers!
Depends on the twins! For mine it seems when one cries, it just serves as white noise for the other 😅
Yeah, all babies (and sets of multiples are different). My babies slept in the same room and same divided bassinet without waking each other when one whimpered or cried. In fact, as they got older and we put them in the same crib (now 2.5 yo) they actually comfort each other or the other doesn't wake. We have had several instances recently during a bad tummy bug from their school where one vomited during the night and we were able to change the bedding and comfort the crying one while the other stayed fast asleep.
I hope they continue to be good sleepers.
Girl same mama of 9 month old twins. Mine still wake up during the night about 2 times lol so I quickly give a bottle so they settle and go back to sleep and hopefully avoid waking up the twin 😬😬😬😬 and then mine still take 3 naps a day lol 🤷♀️ hell yesterday they had a 4th nap due to being super grumpy 😂
I hear that! I helped my sister a lot with her twins for the first year, including many overnights. They used to tag-team! One would cry for a while and just as he was falling asleep, the other would wake up and take a turn. But if you went in to shush the first one, that increased the likelihood of both waking up.
And if they were both awake they would take turns crying so when one became tired he would have a nice rest while the other took up the call, and so it went.
🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
My twins never were bothered by each others crying. So over each other.
Thanks, Emma! You are a life saver!!....I never agreed on, when people said, "let there be noise when he's sleeping"...I would tell them, next time you sleep in the day I will come and make noise, how would you feel?
😂 Such a great response!
We were trying to explain this to my dad when we stayed with him as he would stomp around the house, his dog would constantly bark and doors would be closed loudly causing disruption to our 1 year-old's naps and night sleep. we noticed this caused him to be grumpy and fussy.
Disrupted sleep can definitely make the little ones grumpy! It amazing how you change how loudly you shut doors, put dishes away and move around the house when you have a little one sleeping!😂
Thank you for all those helpful videos. Little over 1 month survived so far *uff*. I am learning baby language everyday, but being more effective thanks to your content!
💕
The cold feet thing always annoyed me when we stayed with my husband's grandma for two weeks after my c-section. Sometimes we would wake our son for feeding and she had dressed him for 65 degrees when she keeps her house ten degrees hotter, so he would be hot and sweaty. When i dressed him for the actual temperature, i always got admonished for not keeping him warm. What she forgot is that overheating can be fatal. You can always add layers if they're actually cold. Yet she was always admonishing me for his cold hands and feet. Thankfully he's almost 8 months old and is way better at regulating his body temperature.
It can be hard some times staying with others and trying to re-educate based on the new information available now compared to when they were parents.
Cold babies cry but hot babies die! That’s what I always tell my mom!
overheating can be fatal - so can being cold. always dress a baby one layer warmer than yourself
@@meredithkav that´s complete BS. cold babies can also die, respiratory deseases can be deadly for the little ones. hello, have you forgotten the origin of the word "a cold"
@@meredithkav I see many idiot moms outside dressing their babies lighter than themselves, they´re asking for a tragedy. they´ve been ill-advised and they don´t have the education to know any better
Some truth.... However, every baby is different. My first would not sleep past a 30 min nap whether dark and quiet or normal and noisy. But she would sleep 12 hours a night after a few months old. Around 2 1/2, she fought naps so bad, we slowly weaned her off them, maybe only 2-3 a week. She's almost 4 and takes no day naps but still sleeps a solid 10-12 hours without waking. My second would take 4 naps a day for the first 5 months and he's 14 months now and still takes 2 naps a day. He sleeps so much better and asks for naps even. He usually sleeps 40 min to an hour each nap and 10 hours at night. She hates shutting down and he loves it. ❤
Your videos are a lifesaver and are answering so many questions I didn’t know I had with our new baby! Thank you so much for taking the time to make these!
Happy to help!
What fabulous, straight forward advice. Thanks for sharing Emma!
It’s my pleasure
My baby didnt sleep during the day. I was waking her if she was asleep every 2 hours to nurse, except at night. I think thats why she slept through the night at 2 months. Not sure if parents do this anymore, but we followed Dr. Sears and attachment parenting. He said there would only be 1long sleep period in a day and to try to make it at night. Long time ago, she is 21.
I found it really really helpful to set a timer when bub would cry out at night (and it wasnt a "usual" feed time) just to make myself wait 3-5 minutes before going in. Something about having the timer was so helpful to easing my knee-jerk reflex to go and grab them immediately and soothe.
Also I have always aimed to sleep my kid in a dark, cool room or environment, with white noise, no matter what. I found it way more effective than the "loud & bright" naps idea 🤷 but it does mean that I get antsy when we are off the norm and I cant give him his usual routine 🙈
I really struggle with letting my 4 month old cry during a nap without going to pick her up. I have repeatedly heard the advice that the squirming and crying is just REM sleep and not a sign that she's awake... but whenever I go peek at her, her eyes are wide open and she smiles and calms down when she sees me. I really feel like she's awake. Am I wrong?
Could be that 1. You going into the room causes them to wake up (REM sleep is light and it's easy for an opening door or other noises to wake baby up) or 2. She's awake. If her eyes are open and she calms down when she sees you she's awake. When baby cries or calls out during REM sleep it's generally short lived and gets progressively calmer vs if baby is actually awake and calling out for you where baby will get generally get more and more persistent with time. If you listen for a few minutes and the crying doesn't stop or gets more desperate then she awake and is calling for you but sometimes you will listen and the crying gets softer and less aggressive (for want of a better word) with time and baby will eventually go back to sleep.
I would definitely reccomend a video baby phone. In redibly helpful in determining when baby is really crying for mom and dad, needs help transitioning zo the next sleep phase, or is getting along fine
I've never heard of this crying rem sleep and going back to sleep idea. My baby cried out in the night and would not resettle just escalate until we gave them attention.
Agreed. Ixreally triedxnot going to my baby immediatly but most of thextime if I didn't go to her immediatly she would get louder and louder and it would take that much more time to then calm her again. So I gave that up and instead quickly cuddle her or just put my hand onxher, so she would relax and drift back to sleep
Great video. We just transitioned my babe to her crib in her own room. We use a white noise machine and a musical mobile. We were nervous for her but she really does sleep better than when she was in our room. She does have wake periods in the night still (she’s 7 going on 8 months in a few days) but they’ve lessened since transitioning her!
That's so great that they have started to lessen since she moved into her own room! It sounds like everyone is getting more sleep which is great!
Is totally normal that babies and kids have wake periods during the night, is until around 6 Years old when they will sleep without them like an adult ( according to the book "Dormir sin lagrimas " from Rose Jovè).
@@luzhdz8872 oddly comforting to know 😂 at least I’m prepared for that 😂
After a long, tiring morning, my two-week-old finally fell asleep. A minute later, the doorbell rang. It was my loudest neighbour, a woman with two children of her own.
*HELLO! HOW ARE YOU?*
I gestured to her please to talk more quietly, because my son had just got off to sleep.
*OH IT'S ALL RIGHT. THEY SLEEP THROUGH ANYTHING AT THIS AGE!*
From upstairs: Waaaaaahhh. She didn't even get to sit down. Just heard the crying, and ran. Fastest visit ever. 😃
Thank you for that last tip! My daughter is 15 months/14 months corrected and she cries and squarms in her sleep and I pick her up because I think she needs help going back to sleep, I'm going to try tonight to let her put herself back to sleep, how do I know the difference between if she actually needs me like of she's hungry or if she just needs a few minutes to go back to sleep?
Hi! If your little one is hungry or needing you during the night they will get progressively louder and their cries will be consistent. But if they are just in REM sleep or they're just waking briefly between sleep cycles , their call outs don't increase in volume and they are more spaced out. So they might call out, then pause, then call out again. To work this out you will need to wait a few minutes and just listen to their call outs. Hope that helps!
The mattress at 1:50 doesn’t look safe. But I found this video to be extremely helpful. Love your videos Emma!
Glad it was helpful!
Thanks for this video. I keep learning alot from you.❤
Thank you! That’s wonderful to hear
Hi. Dr. Hunbard. Some experts advice that in order for the circardian rhythm to develop, it is better to expose them to light during daily nap time. Could you please explain whether and how sleeping in a dark room delay the development of the circardian rhythm. Thanks
0:24 am currently in a struggle with family about this with my first child! Now we've discovered our second sleeps so much better in his own room in low low soft light with black out curtains and a sound machine. . . He use to sleep on my chest in the living room with his 2yo older brother, but lately he will not/can not sleep in the living room and has been so cranky! Its hard to take him into his room to go down for a nap because my oldest is so active that if i leave for more than 5 minutes he has destroyed the living room. . . But my family says that because i have "trained" my first to only sleep in the dark and quiet, he wont sleep anywhere else. We have now proven that wrong as he sleeps just fine at my girlfriend's house (not dark but low light in the day time) and my aunt's (again low light but not dark)
I found a reliable sign of baby being too cool is the mottled skin at arms and legs. My son had atopic dermatitis with a lot of itching when he was warm. So I tried to dress him in light clothing and to use only light sleeping bags and blankets.
But of course therefore I had to check his body temperature often not to miss him being too cold.
Hands and feet were often cold but only mottled skin on his arms and legs meant I had to use an additional blanket layer.
Both my kids were in a routine from day one which included having all naps and sleeps in a dark cool room where possible. This meant that they slept better and I was able to plan around their day. The other big thing was moving their longer sleep to night. I actively controlled when they were awake and asleep for the first couple of weeks to condition them to the routine. As a result they both slept 11pm-7am without a dream feed from 8 weeks and from 7pm-7am from around 3 months. They're now 14 and 9 and both have been adept at sleeping in their own without any co-sleep dependence.
Please share details . I’ve got a 9 day old and I can’t function and work out her needs.
I usually put my 13 month old to sleep at 9pm so he doesn't wake up too early.
Where I’m from babies always nap outside. My 3 month olds will sometimes nap for 5 hours, so the noise and light doesn’t seem to bother them 😅 they also almost never cry! But maybe that’s unusual 😇
The doctors in Canada are crap . My nephew was born durring the pandemic . This kid was 6 months old only four pounds above his birth weight and starting to lose weight. No doctor would see him for a regular appointment because he was throwing up. But we took him to the emergency room three times at this point because he was throwing up so much and was so tiny. Every time we did they said it was collic and that he was fine when we knew he wasn’t . We took him in four more times and it took until he was eight months old for them to diagnose him with a severe milk allergy. I’m still so mad . Then he was having a reaction, at this point we had an epipen for him. When we took him to the hospital for it they said that there is no way to diagnose a milk allergy and wouldn’t treat him for it !
Morel of the story; if you feel that it’s not collic and something serious trust your gut!
Thanks so much for sharing. Although it would have been extremely frustrating it is great to hear that you have been able to identify the milk allergy. Hopefully this means things start getting better for your nephew.
Hi! My kid was sick since birth, no one could figure it out. Eventually saw a GI and diagnosed with severe milk protein allergy at 5 weeks. The screaming 24/7 was absolute hell. He’s now 5mo and at a healthy weight, much better on an amino based formula but still has bad days. Hoping he grows out of it by 1yr.
@@EmmaHubbard thankfully he has his right formula and now is so wonderful! He’s only a year and half and says so many words is so strong and always has a wonderful smile! The worst part was he lost his front teeth and had to get most of his other capped because they all came in black since he was so nutrient deprived for so long. Still so mad but so happy he is okay now!
@@jamilleoglesby6739 awe I’m so sorry to hear that! At least they caught it early! I’m sure he will be fine ! Catching it that early usually they do grow out of it! Best of luck to you and your baby!
Hi Emma, thank you very much for all the videos, they have helped me so much as a first time mum! 😊
Could you please give me some advice - my baby only wants to sleep in the stroller during the day. He hasn't been able to fall asleep in his crib. However, he has no problem falling asleep in the crib in the evening.
Thank you in advance for your help.
Having the same problem. She only naps in the pram or car or while on top of me & as soon as I try to put her in her cot she wakes 😓
Oh man I'm trying so hard to help my 10 month old have more sleep independence. He was born with a breathing disorder, tongue, lip and cheek ties as well as a high pallet. He had his ties separated and has grown out of the breathing disorder. We are thankfully still nursing and he is so healthy and fabulous! BUT we have tried 8 different types of pacifiers and because he was used to sleeping upright on my chest in the first 6 months and nursing on command, he now uses the breast as a pacifier at night and we still aren't sleeping. He was worn in a wrap throughout the day and now cries at my feet big huge tears if I don't have him in a carrier on my back during the day for naps. Developmentally he is doing great he is already walking and eating healthy table foods... Our pediatrician, my husband and I are at a loss as to what to do next to help him nap in his own crib and sleep through the night without screaming the house down. Any and all tips are so appreciated! ❤
We found the Batelle sleep program to be helpful! A bit expensive but check it out!
@gilanaf1347 Thank you!! I have never heard of that but I'm looking it up now! ❤️
Just want to say, that's perfectly biologically normal for a 10 month old. I still nurse my 2.5 year old at night sometimes. Do whatever you need to do for the overall health of all involved, but from the way you've written your comment, it sounded like you don't think it's normal. Breast milk still has significant benefits at that age, and tbh the immune system isn't really fully developed until around 7 years old (which might be why kids across the world self wean anywhere between age 2-7!). Sleeping through the night is also unrealistic - you may manage to get them content in their own space (though being quiet doesn't actually necessarily mean calm), but I definitely wouldn't be expecting them to sleep through the night - it's not anything you can control, because waking up regularly to make sure they're safe is biologically normal x
Also, worth adding you've done amazingly to manage to continue breastfeeding through all those problems!
People judge the Ferber method but my son has been an excellent sleeper since he was 6 months old when I implemented it. He is 3 now and sleeps all night in his own bed. Obviously things happen like wetting the bed or nightmare occasionally, but I very rarely find myself up at night. You do feel a lot of guilt doing it, I did, but we all slept better for it and ultimately were all in better moods and were happier for it.
I know that all babies/kids are different but as thr last in my friend group to have kids, we saw how a dark room that's either silent or filled with white noise machines led to all of the babies ans then when they became toddlers ans and young kids who absolutely NEEDED that environment to sleep. We had to stop having game nights because kids in separate bedrooms could not sleep. Ours were fine stayed asleep even as we got them up to take them to the car. Also, some of our friends as adults can't sleep unless the room is just so.
Maybe it's coincidence but we didnt want that for our twins and since my husband and I don't need black out curtains or noise machines to sleep as adults (or when we were babies/kids) it only seemed logical to have them sleep in the space abs and conditions available. Never in a high traffic, bustling dining room or living room but not a silent home thats dark as night either.
Reminder that as parents we are all doing a great job and doing what's best for us as parents and our kiddos in the given situations we find ourselves.
This is exactly why my parents never gave us a nightlight and why my husband and I don't use white noise machines
My grandmother would creep around the house whenever my mother was sleeping as a baby and she swore that was why she has been a light sleeper her whole life, so when I was born she never crept around and certainly wasn’t quiet (it is impossible for her to be quiet 😂) and guess what? I have always also a light sleeper too despite that. I think that some people are just programmed that way 🤷♀️.
@@lillianlamantia9605I’m with you - it’s temperament/biological!
I wasn’t sleep trained as a baby or a child really. I slept through the night with the light on till I was a teen and to this day can not go to sleep in silence or just white noise. There has to be someone talking.
@@lillianlamantia9605 I agree, my girl was born in May last year and I remember it was very hot where we live, we had to have the windows open. Baby slept through every noise outside no worries. But at some point it stopped (although she was used to it), she started to be a light sleeper and just wouldn't sleep in a silent room without blackout curtains anymore. So we got those and a music box. And yeah my mum i.e. never slept in a dark room as a baby or in silence, but as an adult she absolutely needs total darkness and silence.
So helpful ! Sometimes it’s funny how they’re able to pass out in strange places
So true. I often find it amazing that my newborn would fall asleep with her older siblings yelling!
Hi Emma, rhanks for this video. I wondering how the sleep cycles works in a 2 years old toddler. My daughter is still waking up at nights (2 or 3 times) and clearly says she wants to nurse. She naps 1h.30 at noon. Thanks for your reply!
I see the logic of a dark room for naps and have been trying this with my newborn with pink noise and red light but red nose say even all day sleeps should be in the same room as caregivers so I’m worried I shouldn’t be doing this. I have an older daughter so can’t sit in a dark room with my baby for naps. With my older daughter she slept in a secondary bassinet in the living area and was a great napper on the go unlike many of my friends whose babies would sleep in the dark room but never in the pram! What I did see with my daughter though is reflected in what you say here that she had shorter 30 min naps but sometimes 4 a day. She also was a terrible sleeper at night from around 4months although had feeding and weight issues too and with silent reflux.
My daughter came out of the womb with lungs. She is loud enough that we don’t need baby monitors. My husband woke her up last night because he thought she was actually crying, yeah she was sleeping.
😂
That's what I use my baby monitor for - to check whether her eyes are closed or open when she screams during the nap.
Two of my three babies have been criers. Both have suffered from food intolerances and got better once I fix my diet but still poor sleepers. Dark room with white noise for my 4 month old is working a bit getting to sleep an average of 39 minutes. Now, if I wear her she will sleep up to two hours! 😅
The cold feet is annoying. Everyone just wants to put socks on them.
😂 so true!
Cold feet are not comfortable.
Comfy cotton caps keep heat in the body.
If the babies are cold they burn calories.
It annoys me, too. My niece was so warm she was sweating on a hot, summer day, but she still had cold feet. Her grandma insisted she was cold and needed to bundle up, but she was already sweating! I removed her swaddle and helped her cool down. She wouldn't be sweating if she was cold.
im totally team free the feet unless they’re actually necessary, much to my mothers’ and grandmothers’ dismay 😂 I don’t like socks… so I just don’t feel compelled to always have my kids wear them
Emma, I have a question.....my baby is now 7mo. Since he was a newborn, he would sleep just fine under low temperatures (fan/a.c) his body temperature will be just fine because I would dress him up in long sleeves and full-length onsie....however, his face (cheek/nose)becomes very very cold he ends up waking up and keeps rubbing his face/ eyes in discomfort... this disrupts his sleep.....pls advice, how can I avoid his face from becoming cold? If I increase the temperature, he wakes up feeling too hot 🙄
(He doesn't sleep directly under the fan/a.c)
I don’t know if I agree with the noise whilst they’re sleeping. My baby came out of the womb used to noise 😂 we’re African so we’re loud people and we didn’t do it intentionally but we noticed it didn’t disturb her sleep at all. And I’m glad because it means not every little sound will rouse her. I guess different strokes for different folks 🤷🏻♀️
😂.
I'm not african, but this is true in our house too! My first sleeps through everything, my second however doesn't, and the biggest difference is my first was constantly with me so heard everything, my second was out into his room for naps because I had a toddler to take care of now. Ah, the woes of parenting.
I vacuum in the other room on purpose when baby naps. I have with all four of my children. I really believe it helps to desensitize them to the ambient noise of an active home. We are a large, growing family and the house is never completely quiet. Obviously, loud sudden noises are a different matter but I think getting them used to the low hum of life is very beneficial, especially with so many ages and activities going on even during nap times.
My sister has a phobia of silence. She sleeps well with all kinds of noise, but can't sleep at all when it's quiet. She's also afraid of the dark, and needs a nightlight. I'm the exact opposite and need total dark and as quiet as possible. We've never grown out of those and still seem to need that stuff as adults.
Thank you!
No worries
Since when (how old) should we put baby to nap in dark environment? I've heard that newborns (mine on the way) need to first learn night and day and it's important to keep the room dark at night and light during the day.
Newborns are born with an immature circadian rhythm. So they do not have a concept of day and night. This will develop in the first few months naturally. You can help your little one know the difference by keeping light to the minimum at night (so during overnight feeds), as this will just let the know that it's time to go back to sleep. But during the day following the rhythm of feeding when they wake and then playing with them (once they can tolerate staying awake for longer after a feed) will help them know the difference. Making them nap in a bright room during the day is not necessary and can just lead to shorter naps.
@@EmmaHubbard Thanks a lot❣️
A friend was visiting my home in the day. She put her baby down for a nap in my bedroom, but the baby wouldn't go to sleep. After a long while of mom getting frustrated, I went in my room and put the blackout curtains up. Baby stopped crying almost instanatly, calmed down in the play pen, and fell asleep! Her momma was there and saw this the immediate change. I think it convinced her that dark rooms are best for naps 😅
Should you start doing this from newborn? So many friends say their baby just slept on them/in a sling. Do you need to stay in the same room as they when you put them down in the dark room (I mean for day naps)?
Thanks for the video! 😍
You're welcome 😊
Following the wake windows kept my sanity.
When my baby was born, she had a healthy layer of fat and was very alert. I was able to do skin to skin and nurse her. I kept her in just a diaper on my bare chest for hours, and she was quite warm to the point of sweating. The room was pretty cool, probably 72°F.
The nurses chastised me for not dressing her, saying she was cold, and I was so dead tired and hungry I let them dress and swaddle her. Once they did that, after probably twenty minutes she stopped sweating. I assumed they were right, but it is weird that she was so warm and sweaty if she was actually cold.
What do you guys think?
Children don't regulate tgier temperature as well as adults do. I would think that when your baby was skin to skin with you for a while, her temperature would raise to match yours, and then perhaps raise a bit more because two people generate more body heat? So, then, when she started sweating, she became cold very rapidly on the parts of her that were not touching you, but the bits that were touching you were still warm. That sort of temperature variation could be uncomfortable for a baby I think, so it's better to try to keep them at a more consistent temperature, which is what swaddling is supposed to do up to a certain age. Once kids get past some developmental stage, they regulate their temperature better and I think that's why they don't need to be swaddled?
With skin to skin in the hospital they still recommend a blanket over the baby on top of you. Newborn Babies can’t regulate their own temperature so it’s important to keep them warm - in the uk we have a hat on them for 24 hours after birth.
Even if a baby has a fever it’s still recommended they’re dressed for the room temp. It sounds like essentially your baby’s body was giving itself a fever to keep warm because it was loosing heat rapidly.
Newborns get cold very early. The nurse was probably right, but please don't feel guilty -- you were a new mum!!! You couldn't have known that what you were doing wasn't right. We live and learn from experience.
I've done the same during my first day as a new mum. The only difference is, it happened a bit later and I was awake enough to check baby when the nurse alerted me that I didn't dress them enough and I thought they were wrong but nope - once I checked baby's body I realised the nurse was right. 😢 They can seem warm but be cold... And it can tip over from one extreme to the other in a matter of minutes.
I love newborns!
My baby sleeps very nicely in a quiet, dark room (1-2 hours) every like 2,5 -3 hours. She likes to drink milk before her sleep. I was advised that I should let the baby sleep in living room with us watching TV 😒 I have this perfect system, she is always happy. Why should she sleep 30 min in a lout environment instead of 1-2 hours in quiet? She had 3 kids, but still! some advices are not going through my system well and I don’t feel bad 😂
😏 you’re the best mama for your baby 😊
So true! It's great that you are confident enough to do what feels right for you and your little one! It sounds like your system is working very well ❤️
@@EmmaHubbard 🙏 thank you!! I LOVE you so much! 🥰🥰 You helped me a lot throughout so many moments with my baby! You do an amazing job! Thank you for your efforts 🤧 🌟🤲🏻
The problem is that if they always need quiet environment to sleep, then the rest of the home can't function normaly because every stupid little noise will wake them up. If they learn to sleep in loud environment, the baby won't wake up easily during nap and the family can go about their day. Not everyone lives in big houses when you can leave baby upstairs and do whatewer downstairs. There are families in apartements and small condos as well and they have things to do.
Exactly, that's why white noise machines are amazing at masking the sounds of everyday life!
I struggle with knowing how to best dress my 7 week old at night. We keep it pretty cool with AC (70°) in our bedroom where she sleeps in her bassinet. I sleep with a blanket and comforter on top of me. Is she ok with long sleeve footed pjs and a swaddle over top? (I do a modified swaddle where her arms are out).
I have read that babies should sleep in the light during the day, as dark rooms for sleep interrupts the development of the circadian rhythm. Any truth to that?
Yes, very true but let's change it to "less dark than night". Most blackout curtains let in some light during the day, so you're still good with them. Also good exposure to sunlight during day wake windows helps, and ofc limiting (especially blue) light at night!
So unless you put them to sleep in a pitch-black windowless room, and live in an underground bunker during the day but instead offer a quite dark (perhaps as dark as you can make it) room, + give exposure to daylight and day activities during the day you're good!
I really need guidance. My 2 month old will yawn and put her hands to her face, but she never "just" falls asleep. If i dont rock her, she will stay awake for 10+ hours. She's done this since the 1 month old age. Everyone i've talked to has told me that their kids would simply fall asleep on the spot when they got tired. The first 3 ish weeks were easy since she would fall asleep after getting her bottle, however this is not the case after she got bigger.
In the beginning we figured she was just a baby that was awake alot, but it did not feel right. We then read about wake windows, and ever since we've tried to not let her stay awake for more than 2 hours. Sometimes it still takes us over 6+ hours to get her back to sleep with almost constant rocking etc. Other days she falls asleep after 2 minutes in the stroller.
Love this advice ❤
Glad it was helpful!
Antoine have issues trying to get their baby to sleep anywhere other than a babywrap/carrier? Hé doesn’t fall asleep in bed or crib, I try to comfort him but the crying gets worse and doesn’t stop until I put him in carrier.
Hi Emma,
I did not get the free download for naps as I tried two times and also checked my spams . Can you please help . Many thanks .
Thank you for the video! What would you recommend if a baby wakes up at night but doesn't cry? My daughter is 5.5 months and she wakes up 5-6 times at night. She doesn't cry but starts crawling (started as of last week). She gets 2-3 hours of sleep during the day. Thanks!
if they are not crying you leave them be from my understanding. only if they cry or very fussy do you intervene. thats what i know.
Mine just didn’t need a lot of sleep, apparently, lol! He’d make sounds to himself or just be quiet, staying awake for long stretches at night and I just let him be. He went to one nap during the day around 6-months for 1-2.5 hours and stopped napping around 16-months old (except rare times when he was very active). He’s still a “night owl” who takes a long time to fall asleep and doesn’t sleep the 10-13 hours recommended for his age, but more like 8-9 normally. He’s 4-years old now, for reference. Some temperaments seem to come with either light sleeping and/or requiring less hours!
How do babies survive in the really loud streets in Asian cities? These children have been used to the noise since birth and it no longer bothers them as older children and adults. I can't even see any adverse development in these children either.
Could really use some advice. Weve tried everything but pur son just will not nap for extended period of time during the day (unless its a contact nap on my wife at which case hell sleep 2-2.5 hours on her). He still sleeps great at night on his own. Just dint know of this is his personality trait, phase or we r doing something wrong. Open to suggestions.
Emma I love your videos, however the thumbnails and titles are almost always click baity without any information about what they are about. This means that it's hard for us to find what we need or try to rewatch some specific video. I understand how you need to attract more audiences and stuff but can you put some more info in the video titles somehow? Thank you
Totally agree. To train the baby to sleep in a noisy environment is the most nonsensical, counterintuitive idea I've ever heard. How come an adult get to nap in a quiet cozy bed whereas a baby needs to sleep in the living room with the vacuum on? Neither my children can fall asleep where it's noisy. There's just too much to life to stay asleep. They'd rather keep awake and watch the people around! The idea of the advice is to keep the baby unable to sleep in a noisy environment now, so that they can sleep in a noisy environment in the future? But as a mum, I need them to sleep now! And I want to rest or sleep quietly too! 😂
Hi! I'm currently pregnant with my first child and trying to plan whether he'll just need his bedside bassinet in our bedroom or whether I should get another little bassinet/cot to put him down for daytime naps in the living room, where I would spend most of the daytime. It's next to the kitchen so I could keep an eye on my sleeping baby while doing housework, but it obviously won't be dark or quiet. It makes sense that a cool, dark, quiet room would improve a baby's sleep, but I'm worried about increasing his risk of SIDS by leaving him alone in a room and doing housework on the other end of the apartment. Maybe it's just over the top because my eldest sister died from SIDS in the 80's and my mum keeps telling me how afterwards she never let us sleep out of her sight for fear of it happening again. Can you give any advice on this? Is there a danger to the baby reaching too deep a sleep state and then stop breathing because they aren't exposed to any stimuli keeping them in somewhat lighter sleep stages?
I’ve been a nanny and childcare professional for over fifteen years and worked with many infants so I’ll give you my advice and hope it helps! First of all, different things work for different people so although the advice on here is accurate, I would still say there are many babies who won’t sleep in a room filled with light or noise once they get used to only dark and quiet rooms, and also there’s absolutely nothing wrong with allowing your brand new infant to nap in the living room. Most infants I’ve watched did nap in the living room or anywhere publicly for the first couple of months, and then once they reached about 3 months, they started napping in their cribs, and of course I always had a baby monitor with me so I could still see them. It sounds like you would feel more comfortable having your infant near you so do what’s best for you. The most important thing to remember in order to get your baby to sleep well is to allow them to fall asleep on their own, whether it’s in their crib or anywhere else. Once you see those sleep signals (different signals depending on age but when they’re very young, their eyebrows might get a bit red, and they typically start yawning) swaddle them or put them in their sleep sack (arms in until they begin fighting it, usually around 3 months and then arms free) and place them in their bed while still awake. I wish you the best of luck and am so excited for you!
@@BY-yw4ts Thank you for taking the time to reply and share your knowledge! This really helps. I am very curious for our sleeping journey, baby is due in just a few weeks now! :-)
sometimes my baby just squeals and wiggles in her sleep but she’ll do this for 10-20 mins and then I end up picking her up because it feels like she’ll never settle. I end up giving her a bottle because then she’ll cry out when I grab her. Is 20 mins a normal time to have unsettled REM sleep?
What if we live in a busy city and cannot control the sounds coming from outdoors? (neighboors, cars and motorbikes, sirenes as well as the metro's vibration and structural noise)? We took the room that is next to the street for us and we will give baby the "quieter room" on the other side of the house (I am currently pregnant) but 1. He will be sleeping next to us the first few months and 2. The structural noise as well as the noise from neighboors, the washing machine as well the door entrance of the building will still be there. Not to forget the metro that is very frequent and stops for 3-4 hours at night and our own voices in the small appartement. We will be using a white noise machine and invested in noise& blackout curtains. The windows have double glazing but I am afraid there is nothing much we can do more than that. I am very worried about the sudden sounds and the continuous metro sound even if it's not loud, since we cannot move to another house. Is there a possibility that the baby will get used to all that? Or will it be a torture for both him and his parents? Thank you for your response
Not the author of the video, but a mom: Your baby will definitely get used to the noise. If you feel that the getting used to it takes too long, you need more sleep yourself and a quieter room would help, you could sleep in the baby's bedroom for as long as you want to sleep in the same room, rather than having him in your own bedroom.
Babies adjust to a wide variety of circumstances. And on the other hand, every child is different. I have three - one would not sleep until she got into school. Believe me, I was very consistent but to no avail, she just needed more input than I could give her. The other did what according to the books babies should do: she took two naps, later one nap per day and learnt to sleep through the night by the time she was maybe a year old. Our third child never took a nap during daytime, not even as a newborn. But he slept through the night from the day he was born. We have less influence than we think. But all will sleep eventually.
@@LettersFromAFriend thank you so so much for your input and sharing your own experience with us! This was helpful to me and reassuring 😊 I will have naps in the quieter room during the day, next to his bed, so that he gets used to it. The night in our room should be fine (less noise).
my baby is 2 months and she has a good sense of circadian rhythm. However, during the day, she refuses to be put down to sleep in a bassinet, and needs contact napping. Should we continue to let her contact nap? Will they eventually “grow out of it”? or is it developing a bad habit?
It really depends on what you are comfortable with. If you're happy to I would try and have one nap in the bassinet during the day (usually the first nap is the easiest nap of the day, as the day goes on settling them to sleep can get a bit more challenging). This will just give her an opportunity to become familiar with this space for naps.
Concerned about my 14 month old grandson. He wakes 2 hourly ALL night. Shouldn't he be sleeping longer. All my kids were sleeping through the night well before one year old. Help please...
My one year still has the problem of not beinh able to sleep n wakes up with slightest sound. Earlier he couldn't sleep longer now that is under control but has to be pin drop silence 😢
On that last one about REM sleep, is my baby cries throughout the night I have to pick him up or no one sleeps
Watching babies sleep so comfortably without anything like a pillow, blamket or stuffy makes me tired and also jealous.
😂
My son going to be one he started to sleep all night at 10 months, its was a total struggle, now trying to wean off the breastfeeding, he only sleep by breastfeeding?? What can i do to help him sleep console himself to sleep without the crying method??
Please, is it true a 7 month old that wakes up 3-4times at night to feed is not eating enough solids during the daytime? Thank you
Not necessarily. At 7 months they aren’t eating a lot of solids anyway and formula or breastmilk meets their nutritional needs.
There are lots of reasons your little one might be waking. In this video I go through the reasons a little one might be waking. Hopefully this helps you work out what the cause is and most importantly what you can do to reduce the wakes. th-cam.com/video/1ztReVnfU2g/w-d-xo.html&feature=sharec
@@EmmaHubbard thank you lots
i feel this is also kind of... common sense? it's most relaxing for adults to fall asleep in cool dark rooms with a blanket as well. adults CAN fall asleep in bright and loud environments but that doesn't mean it's an enjoyable experience for us. why should babies be made to sleep like that ?
Any advice for a third baby? How can we protect their quiet sleep time without keeping older siblings stuck in the house?
We did all that. Still a horrible sleeper till age 6.
Baby sleep is a BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY and most of the advice out there is ABSOLUTE RUBBISH
I haven't watched the video as yet, but I'm going to throw my personal feelings into the comment section beforehand so it's not skewed by Emma's wonderful work.
Anything other than gentle sleep training before 6 months has always made me feel so very uncomfortable.
They need us, they need our presence, they need our comfort... They won't need it to get to sleep, forever, you won't be sitting next to your 16YO bed with your hand on their back, singing or rocking to get them to sleep
Call me soft hearted, call me irrational but...
Why would anyone want to force this tiny, defenceless, confused, scared, dependant, still growing and learning human being to "self soothe" by screaming themselves to sleep...that seems like neglect to me.
And every child is so different, every family is so different but a babies need to feel safe and secure doesn't change.
Where I live, sleep training is not a thing. It was for a short time in then 90s but most people found it cruel so it was quickly forgotten. Baby sleep advice here is: It's only a phase. This won't last forever. Every child will sleep sooner or later.
My baby is three months old and has always slept in a swaddle one of the velcro ones I know you're not supposed to start sleep training until they're about six months old but I was wondering when would be the best time to start getting them to sleep without a swaddle also any tips on how to transition them from a bassinet in your room to a crib in their own room? We tried just keeping one arm out of the swaddle but he didn't sleep well at all doing that.
We didn't have any kind of fancy dedicated swaddle thing. We just swaddled our son in a receiving blanket (otherwise naked but for a diaper) and put a blanket or two over him (it was still very cold at night when he was born, and cool in the house). He's now 3 and a half months and hasn't been swaddled in about 2 months. We noticed he was wiggling himself out of the swaddle during the night, so we started loosening the swaddle. Then it got very warm outside and hot in the house and he started kicking off the receiving blanket entirely. It's now used 100% as a blanket. In short, we let our baby tell us when to stop swaddling. If your baby still wants to be swaddled, don't worry about teaching him not to be swaddled.
@@stiaininbeglan3844 ok i'll do that because I think he still very much wants to be swaddled. But what about when he outgrows the 3-6 month swaddles? He's very long, and all I found for after that were sleepsacks. Are those a good idea? I think this would be a very good topic for Mrs. Emma to cover.
@@cherishwillis4893my son loved sleep sacks. I did those for a very long time. Just try lots of things. I've seen people swaddle their babies until they were 2 using a blanket. My son grew to love onsies after he outgrew the sleep sack. I would leave him with a small blanket to snuggle and he was happy. Every baby does different things so trying everything as you go helps.
“Not responding to your crying baby immediately will cause them to have mental health issues later on and reduce their ability to self sooth” is the WORST baby advice I’ve heard because I believed it and created an attached baby :(
I've gone with the idea that he should be able to sleep with normal noises, and some light. We keep a nightlight on at night, but during the day he sleeps wherever i am (usually the living room). I keep the sounds reasonable, but not super quite. That being said, I'm pretty sure we have gotten very lucky, he is s good sleeper... so far.
Thanks for sharing!
I always let them fall asleep when they were ready.
Sorry is not the subject of the video but i need to ask. My 3 months old baby smiles to me, dad and grandparents.. but for the rest she doesnt smile back to people.. is that not normal?
If she is smiling at you, dad and grandparents then that is great. I wouldn't be concerned if he doesn't smile at other people. But if you are worried just chat to your doctor about it.
When my baby sleeps and I put Her down after few minutes she starts to cry ,so I have to take her in my lap again she would sleep in lap but not in crib or on bed she sleeps in crib or bed during night but during day she only sleeps in my lap when she entered in 5th month before it was not like this she used to sleep in crib during day as well what to do please suggest me
I remember when I was pregnant I thought it was good advice so I wanted to try it. I watch some of your videos while pregnant and in one of them you said
"If you can't sleep in a noisy room. Why do you expect a baby to do it".
It made me think and I was yeah she is right. So I didn't do it any my baby is a happy baby 🥰🥰
I’m so happy to hear it helped you!
What's funny is as a baby I was trained to sleep in dark quites places and wake up once the lights on just like my other siblings and we wake up very easily to alarms and other stuff now my step siblings where taught to sleep anywhere and they never wake up to loud sounds like alarm clocks or stuff slamming around
We thought we had the calmest baby ever. We took him everywhere and he would sleep in bright, loud places. In retrospect, I realize he is autistic and VERY sound sensitive. He was shutting down, not calm. I wonder how much his future social anxiety and problems with his autonomic nervous system were caused by this kind of assault.
I was raised in the far country side, quiet with dark nights. Now I'm super sensitive to noise and light. I have to sleep in complete darkness with earplugs.
Of course babies need to be put on adequate sleep situations every day, but making them used to noise and light on occasions is a long term gift. I want my kid to sleep well his whole life, not just now.
I wish I knew it sooner
*laughs in toddler that can barely nap at daycare but naps at home no problem 😭*
The midwives said to sleep in different rooms/environments though. And the maternal health nurse. Even the pediatrician. Who to listen to?
Most advices I got from people around me were just counterproductive and I stopped listening to them. I usually find good advice here or on other similar channels, often also in FB groups.
Thanks for the huge compliment.
Hi Emma ... My baby diagnosed with cerebellar agenesis with pontine hypoplasia..... She is one .... Don't sit without support.... But tries to sit for 1 minute without support. But then she disbalanced ...... Other activities are normal .... Is she will improve with physiotherapy ? I'm so worried.........
Hi!
I understand this would be very concerning for you.
I do recommend you connect with a physiotherapist as they will be able to provide you with specific activities to help develop your little ones sitting balance and overall gross motor skills. They would also be the best person to talk about your concerns regarding the potential impact this might have in the future.
I wish you all the best!
@@EmmaHubbard thank you for your response thank you...
Would you recommend me any of your video for this case .... If that helps
You make it sound like babies will fall asleep on their own...Then where does over tired baby stage come in? Should you then not look at wake windows. My baby of almost 10month still screams when I put him on his back and even his front. He has to be held, from birth and only sleeps some naps 2hours others 15mins for naps and during the night. I know if his naps are better then he will be less grumpy but I can't figure out how to get him to sleep without a fuss.
In the video I explain that in noisy, loud spaces babies will go to sleep if they have to. It might take more effort on their part as they have to filter out information to fall asleep but eventually the sleep pressure will get so high that they cannot stay awake. But, as I mentioned it isn't always the best sleep for a baby. To help your little one fall asleep it is best to look at their tired cues (wake windows can help you identify these) and then put them to bed when they are tired. What you will notice is they will show you early tired cues, then late tired cues. If you get to the late tired cues your baby will still fall asleep but it will take more effort on your part as you will need to calm them down first.
My first baby didn't have this, either.😢 As a 3 month old, he'd sleep for twenty minutes at a time if I put him in the carrier, and sometimes would drop off while nursing, but mainly he was awake and crying or alert. BIG eyes, he didn't want to miss anything! Then he'd sleep for seven hours straight at night. With no real naps, that's SO not enough sleep for a baby.
We were all miserable.
We sleep trained around ten months and his personality switched from fretfully demanding to cheerfully busy. He had been severely sleep deprived, and it made him miserable.
Anyway, wanted to just say that later he was diagnosed with ADHD, and I've heard since then that often babies with ADHD have a harder time falling asleep naturally. Maybe because they're so interested in what's going on and can't regulate their attention to ignore it enough to fall asleep.
We had to be very strict with scheduling and a dark quiet room, but enough sleep made a huge positive difference in his life.
Maybe that's something to keep in mind for your baby as well.
Hi Emma! Do you have any advice for a newborn that has a very hard time falling asleep? We feel like we’ve done everything to support our 5 week old bub- very dark room, white noise, swaddle and cuddles at his first tired signs, but he’ll actively resist and start wailing. He falls asleep at the breast but will usually wake up within 5 minutes. He won’t even fall asleep on me! It’s been extremely exhausting for us both, usually our days end with a very unhappy mom and babe where he’s screaming and will pass out from exhaustion. Took him to a baby chiropractor and got him adjusted- Dr. says it’s not colic as he’s happy in the morning before he gets overtired. Any advice would be so appreciated!
Hi Lauren, if your little one is getting very unsettled in the afternoon but he is happy at the start of the day then I would say it is because of something called the period of purple crying. This is something that is developmentally normal and starts at 2 weeks of age then peaks at 6 - 8 and gradually reduces by 3 - 4 months. During this time they are very unsettled and cluster feed often and like to be on you.
The other thing worth noting is that babies at this age generally have a really late bedtime, so 10pm +. Often what parents notice if that if they try to put them to bed earlier they just wake up and fuss and then you spend the next few hours having a "bedtime battle".
You might find this video helpful as I explain these two things in more detail - th-cam.com/video/KiER6D3DuaQ/w-d-xo.html.
In saying that if he is unsettled all the time, then I would go back to the doctor to see if there is anything medical going on and also check that feeding is going well.
I hope that helps!
@@EmmaHubbard Thanks for the reply 🤍
Hi Lauren, saw your comment and wanted to send you good vibes and strength! My son had a super rough purple crying period as well but he indeed grew out of it after 3 months. It was so hard because our parents thought that it was not normal, and worried us about the constant crying. We tried everything, but nothing really helped except making sure he got all his naps during the day and feeding him as much as he wanted. He simply grew out of it. He's now a happy and healthy 3 year old. Wishing you the best through this period!!
Yes my son had the same problem. I had no one with wisdom to sooth me and cried a lot. Sleep was so stressful. By 6 months old I sleep trained my son and he has been an incredible sleeper since. He is now 3 and sleeps through the night no problem in his own bed. It is a long stint, but it does get better, I promise. Be strong!
I want to chime in and say temperament is a major factor. I’ve got a 3month baby and she is alert and intense, reactive and vet strong. We are currently doing some assisted sleep training as we’ve tried everything else. Her alertness makes her a catnapper also… she’s been going through the 3 month sleep regression since 2 months, ha! Our baby sleep coach had a son that mirrors our bubs temperament. I was a pretty chill baby…
People would tell me that I need to make my baby sleep in light and noise and stop hushing people Bc my baby is sleeping. I always knew I was right to tell them to stfu.