For perspective: I had eccelent nutrition and no stress during pregnancy and lots of appropriate exercise. Breastfed my child for over a year and went on the alternative vaccination schedule, nonetheless is my child on the spectrum (well presenting, not a severe case). I wanted to help my child and got as knowledgeable as I could about the topic. At some point I had to realise that I'm autistic too, and I suspect we have a few well presenting family members on the spectrum. I'd say doing the best you can during pregnancy is always good, but if the cause of autism is genetic (which seems very likely to me, keeping an eye on recent studies) it can't prevent autism. My heart always bleeds for other moms, who get shamed and blamed for not beeing able to breastfeed and have an autistic child. Moms should support each other as best we can. Love too all the struggeling hard fighting parents out there 💛💜💚❤️💙
Well primarily yes. But we also know the condition develops from other things as well. De novo mutation is random genetic changes in the egg and sperm and I do believe that some factors can lead to the condition developing. My son Percy got the MMR vaccine a few weeks ago when I begged for his referral for the ADOS. It's very obvious he is autistic but at 16 months with early intervention we shall see where God leads us. I had COVID during my pregnancy but it's probably more likely genetic but I'm 24 weeks pregnant with a baby brother Kenny. I pray he is neuro-typical just so we can focus financial resources on Percy and because I want Kenny to be that support of which you speak. All in God's hands now!
Really great video! I have a 3.5 year old girl diagnosed with autism and a 2 year old boy who seems to be neurotypical and absolutely adores his sister, I am also pregnant with baby number 3. I think this is my favorite video you have made, it really spoke to my heart.
I always wanted 2 kids. When my first got diagnosed (she was vaccinated alternatively too) and I was told by the doctor about the higher percentage of the second also being on the spectrum, I was really apprehensive. I know the percentage wasn’t high, but the possibility, made me worried. I do love my first child, but caring for a child with special needs can be pretty exhausting. Especially when you don’t have much support system living close by. However, we gave a bit more spacing (almost 4 years) and had our second. I would say it was the best decision so far. I knew I didn’t want my first to be an only child and I see the enormous influence the second is. So far, the second appears not to be on the spectrum (she’s only 2 though, but my first already had signs from 9 months or so). Whether I will have a third? That’s unlikely. Motherhood can be exhausting without much help around 🙊. Thanks for the information. Your book was super helpful to me (I earlier wrote how I got my first potty training breakthrough by following you tips). It helped my fully potty train.
This is actually a decision my husband and I are currently struggling with. Our son is 2 and got diagnosed with ASD two weeks ago. We have always wanted more than one child. At least two children filling up our lives with joy and driving us crazy 😉. A little brother or sister for our son. We first decided to wait because of Covid, then we started to notice our son wasn’t developing like his peers. Now we wonder: If it is far to a second child, when our son will need so much attention and focus? Is a second child going to take some of our focus off our son, when he really needs it? And last there is the question that scares me the most. What if our second child is on the Spectrum also? I love my son and would do anything for him, but I know the road ahead will not easy. It feels like the hardest decision in our lives.
My son is 2 and a half and in December we are probably going to have an ASD diagnosis. My other son is 3 months old. Being a boy too I am so afraid. Im struggling and im afraid for the future. My heart aches a lot.
I have 2 girls with 2 years age gap. My oldest is autistic and now she is 6 and her 4 years old sister is teaching her so many things. I am so grateful for my second baby. 😊
You’re the best mom ever! Such lucky babies! I’m 35 and just had my first child diagnosed with autism. I want to have another one before it’s too late but I’m TERRIFIED
This was amazing to watch. I have two girls one 6 who has autism and one 5 who is undergoing assessments but we have been told they are pretty sure autism too. They both have other needs too. I always wanted 3 children but I know at this moment in time they both need all of me and they wouldn't cope. I never completely write it off because things change In time and you never know. 💜
Thanks for this video. God bless your children. My son is 2.5 and diagnosed with Asd. I’m turning 37. We have very small support system. I want to have another child but super scared. This video have definitely given me insight. Thank you for sharing!
You’re absolutely amazing and thank you so much for making these wonderful videos. I am 38 and have a 6 year old who is on the spectrum. I want another child so badly but everyone seems to think it’s to much of a risk that a second child could be autistic too. Your comforting and encouraging words mean so much. You’re an absolutely amazing and inspirational mother! ❤
Just wanted to say love you and your videos! I'm a mom of 2 and my older one is 3.5 with ASD. Everything you say is so soothing, so empathetic, so well thought out. Keep it up is all I can say.
I did. But it was a difficult decision, I am not going to lie. The issue wasn't that I didn't love my autistic child...in fact one thing I was worried about was not being able to love another child as much as I loved him. It was a worry of "what if I have another child with so many extra needs and I can't keep up with everyone's needs". But when my son turned 6 we decided that we would try for another bub. I am so glad we did! I love my boys sooooo much. They aren't loving each other a whole lot at the moment (at 14 and 7) though 😂
We chose to stick to one child. We’ve come to realize that my husband and I are probably on the spectrum too. We have hardly any energy left and life is good as it is right now. Also, it was a rough pregnancy. Our family is complete ❤️ looking back at it, we saw the first signs of autism when he was 1 day old so I know for sure it didn’t have anything to do with vaccinations
Sort of off topic but Regarding something you said; something being genetic, dosnt outrule the possibly of vaccines playing a role - because I don’t think it certain that vaccines do not live on through a person Ie affecting genes ect Because even the food that grows on earth that we eat, makes us who we are And vaccines are man made in a lab
@@pinkpetal489 well, back in the day when I had to make a choice to go with our national vaccination programme or not, I tried to research it to the best of my ability (I know quite a bit about health and research). I couldn’t find any peer reviewed critisism against vaccines that were convincing. Especially if you factor in the risk of not vaccinating. You don’t compare the risk of vaccination against not vaccinating. You compare it to the risk of the possible diseases they prevent. And through that lense we decided to vaccinate him and I don’t regret that one bit. I’d rather have him (more) autistic and perfect the way he is, than dead from the measles… even if he would be autistic or more autistic because of vaccines (which there isn’t scientific evidence off)
What a wonderful video! May God bless you and your family for speaking about this subject. My is 4 and he got diagnosed ASD but he is high functioning, the doctor even said he could grow out of it. I’m expecting my second baby and it’s a girl, I’m so scared that she would have Autism as well. But I love your point of view that you gave birth to sons friends. Im glad I found this video. ❤
Can’t tell you how happy I am I’ve found your channel! I had my son when I was 20 and he’s now 3, he’s currently going through his diagnosis and is non verbal and still in nappies etc and it’s amazing to be able to watch your videos and relate to every single thing you talk about it! This has been one hard topic that my partner and I have been discussing as like you said all I want for Romeo is friends and a support network for life but can’t help think about whether our next child may be autistic too! So appreciate you making these videos! Thank you 🥰
I couldn't imagine having to deal with this. I have 2 children. I got pregnant when my first was only 3 months. They both have autism. They're best friends.
Why not? I have two children my first has autism due to resuscitation at birth. My second has no additional needs at all. 🤷♀️ I don't love either of them any more or less
My first was a boy and he was diagnosed with autism. We vaccinated him at the normal schedule. Children are born with autism, they don't acquire it. However, I don't know if there has been much research in whether or not vaccinations make the symptoms worse. My second child is a girl and so far I believe she is neurotypical. I have not completely written it off though because females can present very differently. I actually got my own diagnosis of autism this past summer. Thanks for sharing your experience on such a personal topic! ❤
Yes there has been lodes of research actually the vaccine makes no difference if it did the NHS would tell you the risks that it could make it worse no difference as your born the way your born. Xx
I tip my hat to you. I have one neurotypical boy and that kid wears me out. I'm widowed so it's just us but still. Every mom I know with multiple kids is exhausted. All the time. I find it fascinating that y'all can juggle more than one kid and everything else at one time.
Great video. I’m exclusively breastfeeding our daughter who is 4 months old and also have her on an alternative vaccination schedule as her older brother who is almost 4 is on the spectrum
Oh Tara, YOU are amazing!!! Can’t wait for next week’s vlog about having childeren! Can YOU please do a vlog about how dylan start talking and how long he did speech before he start saying something. Thanks ❤️
luv you loads tara .....i don knw you as actress but do as angel...your job ws to b angel ...you wr designed to gv hope, help n smiles...thnxx for being in our lyf ..part of our journey...thnx alot dear
You are truly the first comment I write on any platform. This video was so helpful 🧡 My 2 year old son is not diagnosed yet but he is in the early intervention program. I’ve been thinking so much lately wether to have another baby or not because of all those same fears you mentioned. I’m glad it worked out for you. I can definitely relate when you said you are so excited to do certain things with Luke that you didn’t get to do with your first son. Thank you!
Hi, I’m from California. I have a son who has signs of autism. He is almost 1 y/o now, he’s pediatrician will see him soon. If ever, he will be diagnose I will chose to have 1 child. Idk the severity of my son’s behaviors or condition in the future but for sure he will need all of me. I’m lucky to have a support from family, sister and mom.
I was wondering… can you make video how Dylan speech progressed???? When he start talking in words then sentence…. When did he start asking questions??, when did he start arguing and so on….. I realise now that just because she started explaining things and giving reasons my battles are not over …. I thought it would though…. I know it’s silly and naive…. But I seriously thought once the communication start happening I don’t need to worry…. But then started asking why ??? And I don’t believe you …. So on…. Battles are different….. but surely better …. I guess…. It’s hard for her to regulate her feelings…. She knows why she is feeling what she is feeling…. But she can’t just …. Push it thru… or … suck it up…. Just …. Please elaborate on his speech…. What struggle you have now that you are working on????
Same as someone below... My husband has a severely autistic nephew. When I fell pregnant , I did everything right..I ate organic, I ditched nail polish and hair dye, I breastfed for 1 yr plus, I delayed all vaccinations significantly...little girl was and still is autistic, she is mild...but none the less autistic. I recommend delaying vaccination because you want to know your kids immune system before you shove all sorts of things into their bodies.. but firmly now I believe vaccinations do not cause autism.
I watched the pervious video when you mentioned this subject I was about 2 months pregnant, my first child is on the spectrum and I was worried. Hearing your positive attitude was something I really needed to hear at the time so thank you :)
I have an 18, 15 & 4 year old. All three are on the Spectrum. My youngest is the most effected by his Autism, and we decided to not give him another sibling more his age, because we don't know how effected an additional child would be. We don't want to take the chance.
Autism is highly heritable and that is why it is common to have more than one autistic child in a family. Also, there have been many in depth studies over the last 20 years that confirm there is no correlation between vaccines and autism.
Omg. I really need this topic so much, my first child 3,5 on spectrum, dr said he is more like an asperger or mild, he also said i have a chance to have a child that also on a spectrum, i said i want more children but he said, "dont worry because we never know the future, just do your best". Sibling the best teacher for child who is on the spectrum i think.
I would love to have a second child - but really scared about it…I just turned 39 and we have a son with asd (2,5 years Old). I don’t know if he and we Can manage another child, but I Think it would be sad for our son to grow up alone:-(
Hi my name is Judith I live in ohio and I also 39 with a daughter on the sputrum age 2.5. I wish for a second child but we are exhausted with all the extra needs. What have you decided ?
@@judith9577 we have decided to wait and see and make a final decision when I am 40. We are hoping it gets easier when he is a little older. But I must admit as things are right now it has to get alot easier for us …I’m also scared of the higher risk of getting a second child with asd…
and based on my research, the odds are significantly higher then 18%. Its 36%-95%...much more substantial..older research did indicate 18% but recent research is showing significantly higher rates.
I was so afraid. But I wanted another child and God gave me that beautiful gift…a friend for our boy. And those who stop after autism BECAUSE of autism …although otherwise they would have another kid… ugh.. whatever… did the same same same with vaccines like you Tara. You were my hope and inspiration for years. So much love.
My son was born premature at 7 months. I am 39 and had my son at 36. I do want to have more kids but my age and health conditions are not allowing me to have another baby😢
Thank you so much for this video 🙏 I’m planning to have another child and I am having problems with family calling me irresponsible of just thinking about it because there’s the risk of having a worse kid than my David. Which I think ridiculous. Poor minded people but the stress is exhausting. Pressure. I really wanna give a brother/sister ❤ I know who has to decide is me and my husband but it’s stressful. I really think it would be great for him. Did you do a exame of genetics? Before having the second?
Hi Tara my son sleeps with me and ge is 4 and so much attached to me. He goes to special school. I wanted to ask you if u can give me any tips regarding let hum sleep in his separate room
Yes have a 2nd child, try and hold off on all vaccines for a few years though. Also try your best to minimise chemical exposure during pregnancy and the first few years. Give the baby a healthy fresh diet. Make sure you fet enough vitamin D from the sun on your skin during pregnancy. No guarantees of course byt you can boost the baby's chance of not having autism.
I think it’s doing what is right for your family . If your scared about autism don’t be. What will be will be but for me personally having siblings for dylan was the best thing x
Shweta Garg not 100% at all but it’s likely so I would always think about could you cope and give the children all the need if they both have autism. Xx
@@oliviaann5535 I have heard the same although the probability is low, I still don’t have the nerve to go for another child, so many “what if’s”, it is such a pain and guilty to not go for second child coz am scared that I may not be able to handle 😌 what an emotional decision, my child is happy with mom and dad, yet I always miss my special needs son having siblings but still don’t have the nerve to go for it..such a mixed emotions for my moms heart..
My youngest daughter has 3 boys......6, 4 and 22 months. The oldest 2 are autustic and not sure whether the youngest one is....we don't think so. Her and her husband are awesome parents to these boys. She gets judged about having the 3rd child.
I can’t believe 99% of the comments here are all about the chances of the next child having autism. My first has autism and I don’t worry in the slightest if the next will have it, what I do worry about is about the first: will I be able to fulfill her high needs with a demanding newborn in the house? People are so out of touch these days.
I dont believe vaccines cause autism but once you have an autistic child you realize well we have this genetic neurological condition and maybe vaccines can exacerbate issues for my kid? (I believe regressive autism may be linked to vaccines). I dont think so with my son. He got his MMR vaccine the day i begged for his Autism evaluation exam ADOS so he had symptoms all along. I think the alternative schedule is ok provided your baby isn't in a daycare setting. They get the vaccines just slower. My son poops like a champ, no gut issues. But i 💯 believe gut issues dramatically affect some autistic kids. There are like 20 major genes and 200 minor genes involved. Its a spectrum because the genes present differently. I dont even know families with 2 autistic children who present similar. Usually it still presents different. Anyway im not anti vaccine but the alternative vaccine schedule is ok if your child isn't in a high risk exposure (daycare setting during baby years).
Hi .! I see you kids play like normal kids I can’t tell wish is a autistic.! That’s give me hope .! Always worry if my kids will be able to interact each other playing.! Wondering what’s is the diagnosis for Lucas .! My twins are several autism.!
When Luca was a baby, did he do things that made you think maybe he was in the spectrum? I have a 5 yr old son who has ASD and now have a 9 month old son who has been meeting his milestones but has been "flapping" his arms up and down often and this is now making me wonder if he is also in the spectrum.
i knw its not relvant...but m so depressed..my girl don responce to her name by othr people..n you knw thn all kinda stuff people gossip abut your kid...how you made dylan to respond his name...plz help
I thought this was going to be about being autistic and having more children lol. I'm autistic and so is my husband. I didn't know I was until I was a mother. We have a 2 year old son. We're thinking about having another child. I'm looking for videos on autistic parents having children.
I am a mother of single child, my 8 year old son is autistic. Earlier I was so confused should I do second child or will he or she will be able to take care of his or her brother, after us.....and I am also confuse how I will manage time.....please suggest me what should I do....
Hello.. m sailing on the same boat.. my autistic son just turned 5.. my feel is just take in consideration various factors like the needs of your special child, finances, support available etc. For some kids having a sibling is a great thing for other kids on spectrum it may or may not be..
It comes down to family Dynamics and doing what is right for everybody. For us having more children was absolutely the right thing to do . For others it might not x
@@hopeandalittleautism hi...thank you for reply. Whenever I ask my son, do u want sibling? he always say no I don't... He is very possessive for his father and he don't want to share with anyone, not even with me....
I am mother of single child, my 7 year old son is on spectrum too, I am in the same confused place as u whether to go for a second child, I think it takes lots of courage time financially strong to go for second one again it’s purely depends on family support system too
I've come to realize that it's smart not to have another child (for me). It will take attention from our 2 children, throw us off schedule with my autistic son and stress us out. Both of us parents work full time jobs, my son attends speech therapy 4x /week, we have to cook 2 different dinners due to my 3yo autistic baby boys diet and we have another child 2 years older. We're not sure at this stage what autism will mean for us and our 3yo beautiful boy but a crying newborn baby plus the screaming my 3yo does all day due being nonverbal... I'm not sure that would go well for me mentally. 😅
I held off on my youngest Sons vaccinations for about 6 months. If I had given him them at the age he was meant to have them, I would have blamed his regression on the vaccines. My Son regressed a couple of weeks after he 'should have' had the vaccines.
I know 2 Indian couples they have 2 boys in the autism spectrum after that they do not want any more kids I don’t blame them, besides they was a mother that had 4 boys in the autism spectrum what a hell of a challenge it’s horrible emotionally stressful, physically strenuous
It’s genetic. I do not know if it is hereditary or just something that happens. People should have free will and privacy about what vaccines and how often. I adopted from abroad and swore to the US gov he would be vaccinated asap and my pediatrician started over not trusting fully the vaccination record in catch up schedule. My healthy child was actually less autistic after some months home. State care has a short term effect on kids. I feel first they blamed mom and wasted decades. Then they blamed vaccines wasting decades. If they ever figure it out I fear I won’t believe it. Fooled twice and such heartache.
@@oliviaann5535 kill someone who also didn’t get shot? Kill someone cause the shot the kid did get didn’t prevent the illness or the ability to spread it anyway? I find it quite odd in the US I can ‘terminate’ privately, can’t harm an egg in a protected Duck nest, did not ‘need’ a flu shot all this time (30%) may have gotten per year before, but not getting a shot that has a less than 1% chance of death is killing someone? Do we blame unvaccinated grandma for a child getting the measles too young for the shot? No. We don’t know how unvaccinated child got it. We consider grandma immune since she was alive and exposed to measles long before a vaccine developed and the shot would not benefit grandma at all. Life is not fair. Everyone is going to die of something. Parent and child have more chance of killing someone in an accidental car accident, whose occupants didn’t have a seat belt on, on the way to the pharmacy to get the shot than by passing measles to another where the outcome is fatal cause the child isn’t vaccinated. You can insert the name of the other shot if you would like. The world has gone goofy. All this misplaced indirect anger. Imagine if during the AIDS epidemic people were mandated not to have relations until in a heterosexual legal marriage cause of the ‘numbers’ to stop the spread for 5 years and not do blood transfusions outside of self donation or a relatives for a year until there was a proper test? It would be ridiculous. People get sick. In my state it is no longer criminal not to disclose knowingly HIV positive before sleeping with someone. They just signed it during the covid pandemic. Now most people live a life and die of something else. Medical privacy. But it’s criminal not to wear a mask in high school and not vaccinating a 5 year old can kill grandma who got the shot 11 months ago and been boosted? Would you want disclosure before a condition where you are taking medications for life and can pass it along? But you want disclosure on vaccination?
It’s a personal circumstance thing. But if you wanted to have more children before you got an autism diagnosis, I don’t think you should let it stop you. I’m So grateful for Luca and naia and couldn’t imagine my life with out them. Also Luca has bought Dylan on so much ❤️
I agree with everything you said. I want a sibling for my daughter. I would also think twice about vaccinations. Thank you very interesting information
Both of my babies are IVF for #1 and FET for #2.... #1 completely change from his happy self to a toddler who was banging his head on the floor if unhappy about something....21 mo old.... We were pregnant 1 month before that....When all was happy.... Both boys are on the spectrum, as many here, I realized my husband and I do have autistic traits.... Kid #1 is my husband, one notch worst (even looks like him)...Kid #2 is me (looks like me), one notch worst. They both show opposite, that said both are relatively mild. We initially decided to delay all vaccines until 2, breastfed until 18 month'ish.... At 2yo, we had the first few symptoms so we delayed and delayed to this day. We are already walking that thin line, I am not adding anything to the mix. I am convinced of a multigenerational issue getting worst and worst (like some other species). Honestly when all is said and done, we feel extremely lucky.... Both boys (now 8 and 10) are happy, one's weakness is the other's one strength, that balance works well for now. As parents, it keeps us on our toes as to figure out the most intelligent way to guide them individually (as opposite as they are) and foster a great sibling relationship.
I wouldn’t. 1) even if the second child is not on the spectrum, it doesn’t mean he or she won’t pass the genes to their children 2) one autistic child is already time/money consuming, another one?? 3) in US, 80-90% of autistic adults are unemployed. It’s not a bad idea for the parents to leave their autistic children as much wealth as they can. The parents need to ask themselves how many autistic children they are able to support financially for life if it is needed before making the decision of having another child.
Hi Tara, om soo desperate i have a Son hè is 3,5 with ass, hè hits him self hè dont talk A few Words,sleep is A disaster, did dilan did that to, what can i do about the sleeping i love youre Chanel xx from europe
Having siblings when you have a child with autism is a wonderful thing but people should definitely consider if they have the time to meet the needs of another child as well as the child/ children with autism that could be significantly affected if so go for it! Vaccines don’t cause autism you can do them however it’s still the same stuff and they don’t cause autism your born autistic before any vaccine is given. Sad to hear you clearly think they do they have proven so many times they don’t cause autism By sharing that you could put other parents off the vaccine costing children’s lives autism doesn’t kill Measles mumps and rubella do sadly xxxx
For perspective: I had eccelent nutrition and no stress during pregnancy and lots of appropriate exercise. Breastfed my child for over a year and went on the alternative vaccination schedule, nonetheless is my child on the spectrum (well presenting, not a severe case). I wanted to help my child and got as knowledgeable as I could about the topic. At some point I had to realise that I'm autistic too, and I suspect we have a few well presenting family members on the spectrum. I'd say doing the best you can during pregnancy is always good, but if the cause of autism is genetic (which seems very likely to me, keeping an eye on recent studies) it can't prevent autism. My heart always bleeds for other moms, who get shamed and blamed for not beeing able to breastfeed and have an autistic child. Moms should support each other as best we can. Love too all the struggeling hard fighting parents out there 💛💜💚❤️💙
Thanks for sharing x
This 💜💜💜 🙌🏽
Autism is genetic we already know this lodes of evidence to to and proof. 😊
Well primarily yes. But we also know the condition develops from other things as well. De novo mutation is random genetic changes in the egg and sperm and I do believe that some factors can lead to the condition developing. My son Percy got the MMR vaccine a few weeks ago when I begged for his referral for the ADOS. It's very obvious he is autistic but at 16 months with early intervention we shall see where God leads us. I had COVID during my pregnancy but it's probably more likely genetic but I'm 24 weeks pregnant with a baby brother Kenny. I pray he is neuro-typical just so we can focus financial resources on Percy and because I want Kenny to be that support of which you speak. All in God's hands now!
Really great video! I have a 3.5 year old girl diagnosed with autism and a 2 year old boy who seems to be neurotypical and absolutely adores his sister, I am also pregnant with baby number 3. I think this is my favorite video you have made, it really spoke to my heart.
Oh congratulations so happy for you x
hello dear how did baby number 3 turn out? I'm scared I want more but I'm scared
Beautifully expressed sentiments! Siblings can be a citadel in the storms of life! Awesome mother. Inspiring family!
Thank you x
I always wanted 2 kids. When my first got diagnosed (she was vaccinated alternatively too) and I was told by the doctor about the higher percentage of the second also being on the spectrum, I was really apprehensive. I know the percentage wasn’t high, but the possibility, made me worried. I do love my first child, but caring for a child with special needs can be pretty exhausting. Especially when you don’t have much support system living close by.
However, we gave a bit more spacing (almost 4 years) and had our second. I would say it was the best decision so far. I knew I didn’t want my first to be an only child and I see the enormous influence the second is.
So far, the second appears not to be on the spectrum (she’s only 2 though, but my first already had signs from 9 months or so).
Whether I will have a third? That’s unlikely. Motherhood can be exhausting without much help around 🙊.
Thanks for the information.
Your book was super helpful to me (I earlier wrote how I got my first potty training breakthrough by following you tips). It helped my fully potty train.
Abs thanks so much for sharing your story and so happy my book helped you as well with potty training x
I'm currently struggling potty training my 7 year old and my 4 year old, both on the spectrum
This is actually a decision my husband and I are currently struggling with. Our son is 2 and got diagnosed with ASD two weeks ago. We have always wanted more than one child. At least two children filling up our lives with joy and driving us crazy 😉. A little brother or sister for our son. We first decided to wait because of Covid, then we started to notice our son wasn’t developing like his peers. Now we wonder: If it is far to a second child, when our son will need so much attention and focus? Is a second child going to take some of our focus off our son, when he really needs it? And last there is the question that scares me the most. What if our second child is on the Spectrum also? I love my son and would do anything for him, but I know the road ahead will not easy. It feels like the hardest decision in our lives.
I'm in the same exact boat, its something I think about every day right now! My son is almost 2 and a half and I feel so torn
My son is 2 and a half and in December we are probably going to have an ASD diagnosis. My other son is 3 months old. Being a boy too I am so afraid. Im struggling and im afraid for the future.
My heart aches a lot.
I have 2 girls with 2 years age gap. My oldest is autistic and now she is 6 and her 4 years old sister is teaching her so many things. I am so grateful for my second baby. 😊
@@shehzadi7574 Hi your 2nd child is good she is not autism
You’re the best mom ever! Such lucky babies! I’m 35 and just had my first child diagnosed with autism. I want to have another one before it’s too late but I’m TERRIFIED
Same 😢
This was amazing to watch. I have two girls one 6 who has autism and one 5 who is undergoing assessments but we have been told they are pretty sure autism too. They both have other needs too. I always wanted 3 children but I know at this moment in time they both need all of me and they wouldn't cope. I never completely write it off because things change In time and you never know. 💜
Thanks for this video. God bless your children. My son is 2.5 and diagnosed with Asd. I’m turning 37. We have very small support system. I want to have another child but super scared. This video have definitely given me insight. Thank you for sharing!
You’re absolutely amazing and thank you so much for making these wonderful videos. I am 38 and have a 6 year old who is on the spectrum. I want another child so badly but everyone seems to think it’s to much of a risk that a second child could be autistic too. Your comforting and encouraging words mean so much. You’re an absolutely amazing and inspirational mother! ❤
Just wanted to say love you and your videos! I'm a mom of 2 and my older one is 3.5 with ASD. Everything you say is so soothing, so empathetic, so well thought out. Keep it up is all I can say.
I did. But it was a difficult decision, I am not going to lie. The issue wasn't that I didn't love my autistic child...in fact one thing I was worried about was not being able to love another child as much as I loved him. It was a worry of "what if I have another child with so many extra needs and I can't keep up with everyone's needs". But when my son turned 6 we decided that we would try for another bub. I am so glad we did! I love my boys sooooo much. They aren't loving each other a whole lot at the moment (at 14 and 7) though 😂
Thank you for sharing x
We chose to stick to one child. We’ve come to realize that my husband and I are probably on the spectrum too. We have hardly any energy left and life is good as it is right now. Also, it was a rough pregnancy. Our family is complete ❤️ looking back at it, we saw the first signs of autism when he was 1 day old so I know for sure it didn’t have anything to do with vaccinations
You need to do what’s right for your family ❤️
Sort of off topic but Regarding something you said; something being genetic, dosnt outrule the possibly of vaccines playing a role - because I don’t think it certain that vaccines do not live on through a person Ie affecting genes ect
Because even the food that grows on earth that we eat, makes us who we are
And vaccines are man made in a lab
@@pinkpetal489 well, back in the day when I had to make a choice to go with our national vaccination programme or not, I tried to research it to the best of my ability (I know quite a bit about health and research). I couldn’t find any peer reviewed critisism against vaccines that were convincing. Especially if you factor in the risk of not vaccinating. You don’t compare the risk of vaccination against not vaccinating. You compare it to the risk of the possible diseases they prevent. And through that lense we decided to vaccinate him and I don’t regret that one bit. I’d rather have him (more) autistic and perfect the way he is, than dead from the measles… even if he would be autistic or more autistic because of vaccines (which there isn’t scientific evidence off)
@@LisetteZ3 “dead from measles” 🙄
@@pinkpetal489 there is no evidence that vaccines cause autism. Absolutely none
Wow thank you so much for sharing it gives me a lot more energy to work hard with my son . Your amazing
This video really eased my mind. I have an almost 3-year-old boy that has autism and I have a baby on the way. Thank you
What a wonderful video! May God bless you and your family for speaking about this subject. My is 4 and he got diagnosed ASD but he is high functioning, the doctor even said he could grow out of it. I’m expecting my second baby and it’s a girl, I’m so scared that she would have Autism as well. But I love your point of view that you gave birth to sons friends. Im glad I found this video. ❤
Can’t tell you how happy I am I’ve found your channel! I had my son when I was 20 and he’s now 3, he’s currently going through his diagnosis and is non verbal and still in nappies etc and it’s amazing to be able to watch your videos and relate to every single thing you talk about it! This has been one hard topic that my partner and I have been discussing as like you said all I want for Romeo is friends and a support network for life but can’t help think about whether our next child may be autistic too!
So appreciate you making these videos! Thank you 🥰
I couldn't imagine having to deal with this.
I have 2 children. I got pregnant when my first was only 3 months. They both have autism. They're best friends.
I could listen to talk all day💜
Thank you x
Why not? I have two children my first has autism due to resuscitation at birth. My second has no additional needs at all. 🤷♀️ I don't love either of them any more or less
My first was a boy and he was diagnosed with autism. We vaccinated him at the normal schedule. Children are born with autism, they don't acquire it. However, I don't know if there has been much research in whether or not vaccinations make the symptoms worse. My second child is a girl and so far I believe she is neurotypical. I have not completely written it off though because females can present very differently. I actually got my own diagnosis of autism this past summer. Thanks for sharing your experience on such a personal topic! ❤
There is often a genetic component
@@shadrach6299 for sure! Pretty sure my mom is autistic too. 😊
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Yes there has been lodes of research actually the vaccine makes no difference if it did the NHS would tell you the risks that it could make it worse no difference as your born the way your born. Xx
Yeah check out for your girls symptoms because they can develop
Yes you should. We were very afraid that our second might be the same. In most cases, we become better parents after our first.
I agree x
I tip my hat to you. I have one neurotypical boy and that kid wears me out. I'm widowed so it's just us but still. Every mom I know with multiple kids is exhausted. All the time. I find it fascinating that y'all can juggle more than one kid and everything else at one time.
I love your channel. I have 3 children. My youngest has asd. I felt alone before your channel.
Welcome to the family ❤️
Great family, great kids!! you never know what happens after 10 seconds..
Great video. I’m exclusively breastfeeding our daughter who is 4 months old and also have her on an alternative vaccination schedule as her older brother who is almost 4 is on the spectrum
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Oh Tara, YOU are amazing!!! Can’t wait for next week’s vlog about having childeren! Can YOU please do a vlog about how dylan start talking and how long he did speech before he start saying something. Thanks ❤️
❤️
luv you loads tara .....i don knw you as actress but do as angel...your job ws to b angel ...you wr designed to gv hope, help n smiles...thnxx for being in our lyf ..part of our journey...thnx alot dear
Thank you for taking your time and making another wonderful video ⭐️
Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment x
You are truly the first comment I write on any platform. This video was so helpful 🧡 My 2 year old son is not diagnosed yet but he is in the early intervention program. I’ve been thinking so much lately wether to have another baby or not because of all those same fears you mentioned. I’m glad it worked out for you. I can definitely relate when you said you are so excited to do certain things with Luke that you didn’t get to do with your first son. Thank you!
Thank you for posting this. It is so encouraging.
Hi, I’m from California. I have a son who has signs of autism. He is almost 1 y/o now, he’s pediatrician will see him soon. If ever, he will be diagnose I will chose to have 1 child. Idk the severity of my son’s behaviors or condition in the future but for sure he will need all of me. I’m lucky to have a support from family, sister and mom.
I was wondering… can you make video how Dylan speech progressed???? When he start talking in words then sentence…. When did he start asking questions??, when did he start arguing and so on…..
I realise now that just because she started explaining things and giving reasons my battles are not over …. I thought it would though…. I know it’s silly and naive…. But I seriously thought once the communication start happening I don’t need to worry…. But then started asking why ??? And I don’t believe you …. So on….
Battles are different….. but surely better …. I guess…. It’s hard for her to regulate her feelings…. She knows why she is feeling what she is feeling…. But she can’t just …. Push it thru… or … suck it up…. Just …. Please elaborate on his speech…. What struggle you have now that you are working on????
Your vedios are so informative. Could you please kindly let me know whicu probiotic do you use ? . Thank you
Same as someone below... My husband has a severely autistic nephew. When I fell pregnant , I did everything right..I ate organic, I ditched nail polish and hair dye, I breastfed for 1 yr plus, I delayed all vaccinations significantly...little girl was and still is autistic, she is mild...but none the less autistic.
I recommend delaying vaccination because you want to know your kids immune system before you shove all sorts of things into their bodies.. but firmly now I believe vaccinations do not cause autism.
Did you delay or did not give any vaccinations?
I watched the pervious video when you mentioned this subject I was about 2 months pregnant, my first child is on the spectrum and I was worried. Hearing your positive attitude was something I really needed to hear at the time so thank you :)
Am so happy it helped x
I have an 18, 15 & 4 year old. All three are on the Spectrum. My youngest is the most effected by his Autism, and we decided to not give him another sibling more his age, because we don't know how effected an additional child would be. We don't want to take the chance.
Thank you for Sharing your story x
Autism is highly heritable and that is why it is common to have more than one autistic child in a family. Also, there have been many in depth studies over the last 20 years that confirm there is no correlation between vaccines and autism.
I love love love love this video!!!!
Omg. I really need this topic so much, my first child 3,5 on spectrum, dr said he is more like an asperger or mild, he also said i have a chance to have a child that also on a spectrum, i said i want more children but he said, "dont worry because we never know the future, just do your best". Sibling the best teacher for child who is on the spectrum i think.
There is no scientific proof that vaccines cause autism. Absolutely none.
Thank you for your valuable knowledge
Thank you so much for this video!!
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What vaccines did you do during pregnancy with Luca ? Thank you for sharing this with us is amazing I am in the same situation.
I didn’t have any vaccinations when pregnant. X
Vaccines make no difference your born autistic that’s a fact it’s proven autism isn’t something people should be trying to prevent it’s a gift. Xxx
@@oliviaann5535 💯
@@oliviaann5535 lol
@@oliviaann5535 very true. Autism is not caused by vaccination.
I like her videos but she lost me with the vaccines stuff
Great video very informative ❤
I would love to have a second child - but really scared about it…I just turned 39 and we have a son with asd (2,5 years Old). I don’t know if he and we Can manage another child, but I Think it would be sad for our son to grow up alone:-(
If it’s right for you and your family don’t be scared . But only you know the answer x
Hi my name is Judith I live in ohio and I also 39 with a daughter on the sputrum age 2.5. I wish for a second child but we are exhausted with all the extra needs. What have you decided ?
@@judith9577 we have decided to wait and see and make a final decision when I am 40. We are hoping it gets easier when he is a little older. But I must admit as things are right now it has to get alot easier for us …I’m also scared of the higher risk of getting a second child with asd…
and based on my research, the odds are significantly higher then 18%. Its 36%-95%...much more substantial..older research did indicate 18% but recent research is showing significantly higher rates.
36-95% is for twins. Odds for siblings remain at around 18% if there’s already a child with autism in the family.
I was so afraid. But I wanted another child and God gave me that beautiful gift…a friend for our boy. And those who stop after autism BECAUSE of autism …although otherwise they would have another kid… ugh.. whatever… did the same same same with vaccines like you Tara. You were my hope and inspiration for years. So much love.
You can do what ever with the vaccines but makes no difference your born with autism. Xx
Ur video gave me lot of relief thank u soo much, I'm kind of depressed stage.
Of course you should! Why wouldn't you. Just because they are on the spectrum it doesn't make them any less an amazing human being that they are.
I agree
My son was born premature at 7 months. I am 39 and had my son at 36. I do want to have more kids but my age and health conditions are not allowing me to have another baby😢
Thanks this was such an encouragement
Thank you so much for this video 🙏 I’m planning to have another child and I am having problems with family calling me irresponsible of just thinking about it because there’s the risk of having a worse kid than my David. Which I think ridiculous. Poor minded people but the stress is exhausting. Pressure. I really wanna give a brother/sister ❤ I know who has to decide is me and my husband but it’s stressful. I really think it would be great for him.
Did you do a exame of genetics? Before having the second?
Hi Tara my son sleeps with me and ge is 4 and so much attached to me. He goes to special school. I wanted to ask you if u can give me any tips regarding let hum sleep in his separate room
How can one find a holistic doctor? Do insurance cover it?
Yes have a 2nd child, try and hold off on all vaccines for a few years though. Also try your best to minimise chemical exposure during pregnancy and the first few years. Give the baby a healthy fresh diet. Make sure you fet enough vitamin D from the sun on your skin during pregnancy. No guarantees of course byt you can boost the baby's chance of not having autism.
Can you please share which probiotic you took? Thankd
Can I ask what probiotic you used when you was pregnant? Thanks 😀
If everything is fine in genetic examination, then do you think it’s right decision to go for a second baby?
I think it’s doing what is right for your family . If your scared about autism don’t be. What will be will be but for me personally having siblings for dylan was the best thing x
If you think you can deal with another child with autism then go for it. XXX
@@oliviaann5535 so you mean to say that it is sure that second child will also have autism
Shweta Garg not 100% at all but it’s likely so I would always think about could you cope and give the children all the need if they both have autism. Xx
@@oliviaann5535 I have heard the same although the probability is low, I still don’t have the nerve to go for another child, so many “what if’s”, it is such a pain and guilty to not go for second child coz am scared that I may not be able to handle 😌 what an emotional decision, my child is happy with mom and dad, yet I always miss my special needs son having siblings but still don’t have the nerve to go for it..such a mixed emotions for my moms heart..
My youngest daughter has 3 boys......6, 4 and 22 months. The oldest 2 are autustic and not sure whether the youngest one is....we don't think so. Her and her husband are awesome parents to these boys. She gets judged about having the 3rd child.
I can’t believe 99% of the comments here are all about the chances of the next child having autism.
My first has autism and I don’t worry in the slightest if the next will have it, what I do worry about is about the first: will I be able to fulfill her high needs with a demanding newborn in the house?
People are so out of touch these days.
I dont believe vaccines cause autism but once you have an autistic child you realize well we have this genetic neurological condition and maybe vaccines can exacerbate issues for my kid? (I believe regressive autism may be linked to vaccines). I dont think so with my son. He got his MMR vaccine the day i begged for his Autism evaluation exam ADOS so he had symptoms all along. I think the alternative schedule is ok provided your baby isn't in a daycare setting. They get the vaccines just slower. My son poops like a champ, no gut issues. But i 💯 believe gut issues dramatically affect some autistic kids. There are like 20 major genes and 200 minor genes involved. Its a spectrum because the genes present differently. I dont even know families with 2 autistic children who present similar. Usually it still presents different. Anyway im not anti vaccine but the alternative vaccine schedule is ok if your child isn't in a high risk exposure (daycare setting during baby years).
Hi .! I see you kids play like normal kids I can’t tell wish is a autistic.! That’s give me hope .! Always worry if my kids will be able to interact each other playing.! Wondering what’s is the diagnosis for Lucas .! My twins are several autism.!
So inspiring
Thank you x
When Luca was a baby, did he do things that made you think maybe he was in the spectrum? I have a 5 yr old son who has ASD and now have a 9 month old son who has been meeting his milestones but has been "flapping" his arms up and down often and this is now making me wonder if he is also in the spectrum.
i knw its not relvant...but m so depressed..my girl don responce to her name by othr people..n you knw thn all kinda stuff people gossip abut your kid...how you made dylan to respond his name...plz help
Sending you a hug and a prayer
Which probiotics did you take?
What probiotic was you talking during pregnancy?
I thought this was going to be about being autistic and having more children lol. I'm autistic and so is my husband. I didn't know I was until I was a mother. We have a 2 year old son. We're thinking about having another child. I'm looking for videos on autistic parents having children.
I am a mother of single child, my 8 year old son is autistic. Earlier I was so confused should I do second child or will he or she will be able to take care of his or her brother, after us.....and I am also confuse how I will manage time.....please suggest me what should I do....
Hello.. m sailing on the same boat.. my autistic son just turned 5.. my feel is just take in consideration various factors like the needs of your special child, finances, support available etc. For some kids having a sibling is a great thing for other kids on spectrum it may or may not be..
It comes down to family Dynamics and doing what is right for everybody. For us having more children was absolutely the right thing to do . For others it might not x
@@hopeandalittleautism hi...thank you for reply. Whenever I ask my son, do u want sibling? he always say no I don't...
He is very possessive for his father and he don't want to share with anyone, not even with me....
@@ComingHometoAutism thank you tara for your reply....your channel gives me lot of mental strength.....
I am mother of single child, my 7 year old son is on spectrum too, I am in the same confused place as u whether to go for a second child, I think it takes lots of courage time financially strong to go for second one again it’s purely depends on family support system too
I've come to realize that it's smart not to have another child (for me). It will take attention from our 2 children, throw us off schedule with my autistic son and stress us out. Both of us parents work full time jobs, my son attends speech therapy 4x /week, we have to cook 2 different dinners due to my 3yo autistic baby boys diet and we have another child 2 years older. We're not sure at this stage what autism will mean for us and our 3yo beautiful boy but a crying newborn baby plus the screaming my 3yo does all day due being nonverbal... I'm not sure that would go well for me mentally. 😅
I held off on my youngest Sons vaccinations for about 6 months. If I had given him them at the age he was meant to have them, I would have blamed his regression on the vaccines. My Son regressed a couple of weeks after he 'should have' had the vaccines.
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I know 2 Indian couples they have 2 boys in the autism spectrum after that they do not want any more kids I don’t blame them, besides they was a mother that had 4 boys in the autism spectrum what a hell of a challenge it’s horrible emotionally stressful, physically strenuous
It’s genetic. I do not know if it is hereditary or just something that happens. People should have free will and privacy about what vaccines and how often. I adopted from abroad and swore to the US gov he would be vaccinated asap and my pediatrician started over not trusting fully the vaccination record in catch up schedule. My healthy child was actually less autistic after some months home. State care has a short term effect on kids. I feel first they blamed mom and wasted decades. Then they blamed vaccines wasting decades. If they ever figure it out I fear I won’t believe it. Fooled twice and such heartache.
It’s so sad when they blame the parents . No blame here just love x
@@ComingHometoAutism they used to blame refrigerator mother’s for autism in the children decades ago.
The problem with Freewill is all very well but if you then kill someone else because you didn’t want to vaccinate your child how is that fair.
@@oliviaann5535 kill someone who also didn’t get shot? Kill someone cause the shot the kid did get didn’t prevent the illness or the ability to spread it anyway? I find it quite odd in the US I can ‘terminate’ privately, can’t harm an egg in a protected Duck nest, did not ‘need’ a flu shot all this time (30%) may have gotten per year before, but not getting a shot that has a less than 1% chance of death is killing someone? Do we blame unvaccinated grandma for a child getting the measles too young for the shot? No. We don’t know how unvaccinated child got it. We consider grandma immune since she was alive and exposed to measles long before a vaccine developed and the shot would not benefit grandma at all. Life is not fair. Everyone is going to die of something. Parent and child have more chance of killing someone in an accidental car accident, whose occupants didn’t have a seat belt on, on the way to the pharmacy to get the shot than by passing measles to another where the outcome is fatal cause the child isn’t vaccinated. You can insert the name of the other shot if you would like. The world has gone goofy. All this misplaced indirect anger. Imagine if during the AIDS epidemic people were mandated not to have relations until in a heterosexual legal marriage cause of the ‘numbers’ to stop the spread for 5 years and not do blood transfusions outside of self donation or a relatives for a year until there was a proper test? It would be ridiculous. People get sick. In my state it is no longer criminal not to disclose knowingly HIV positive before sleeping with someone. They just signed it during the covid pandemic. Now most people live a life and die of something else. Medical privacy. But it’s criminal not to wear a mask in high school and not vaccinating a 5 year old can kill grandma who got the shot 11 months ago and been boosted? Would you want disclosure before a condition where you are taking medications for life and can pass it along? But you want disclosure on vaccination?
kris Sharp No you could kill someone by not having a vaccine that is vital.
What’s the bottom line should you or shouldn’t you?
It’s a personal circumstance thing. But if you wanted to have more children before you got an autism diagnosis, I don’t think you should let it stop you. I’m
So grateful for Luca and naia and couldn’t imagine my life with out them. Also Luca has bought Dylan on so much ❤️
That's exactly what I wanted to watch
Hope it helps x
How are you?
My first daughter is autistic, she's now 2 years old and 4 moths. she is very hyper, what age do you think I will have next child?
Mybe around 4
It’s up to you but I’d say when she is on nursery so you have some time to rest during the day x
@@ComingHometoAutism nice idea. thank you
I agree with everything you said. I want a sibling for my daughter. I would also think twice about vaccinations. Thank you very interesting information
How about just don’t vaccinate.
@@channelmar15 absolutely no more 😊
Both of my babies are IVF for #1 and FET for #2....
#1 completely change from his happy self to a toddler who was banging his head on the floor if unhappy about something....21 mo old....
We were pregnant 1 month before that....When all was happy....
Both boys are on the spectrum, as many here, I realized my husband and I do have autistic traits.... Kid #1 is my husband, one notch worst (even looks like him)...Kid #2 is me (looks like me), one notch worst. They both show opposite, that said both are relatively mild.
We initially decided to delay all vaccines until 2, breastfed until 18 month'ish.... At 2yo, we had the first few symptoms so we delayed and delayed to this day. We are already walking that thin line, I am not adding anything to the mix.
I am convinced of a multigenerational issue getting worst and worst (like some other species).
Honestly when all is said and done, we feel extremely lucky.... Both boys (now 8 and 10) are happy, one's weakness is the other's one strength, that balance works well for now.
As parents, it keeps us on our toes as to figure out the most intelligent way to guide them individually (as opposite as they are) and foster a great sibling relationship.
Thank you for sharing your story x
When was Luca's ADHD Diagnosis?
At 7 years old
Autism is genatic?
❤️❤️❤️🥰🙏🏻🙏🏻
I wouldn’t. 1) even if the second child is not on the spectrum, it doesn’t mean he or she won’t pass the genes to their children 2) one autistic child is already time/money consuming, another one?? 3) in US, 80-90% of autistic adults are unemployed. It’s not a bad idea for the parents to leave their autistic children as much wealth as they can. The parents need to ask themselves how many autistic children they are able to support financially for life if it is needed before making the decision of having another child.
NO!!!!!
Hi Tara, om soo desperate i have a Son hè is 3,5 with ass, hè hits him self hè dont talk A few Words,sleep is A disaster, did dilan did that to, what can i do about the sleeping i love youre Chanel xx from europe
Hi, how is your son now? Hope the best
Having siblings when you have a child with autism is a wonderful thing but people should definitely consider if they have the time to meet the needs of another child as well as the child/ children with autism that could be significantly affected if so go for it!
Vaccines don’t cause autism you can do them however it’s still the same stuff and they don’t cause autism your born autistic before any vaccine is given. Sad to hear you clearly think they do they have proven so many times they don’t cause autism
By sharing that you could put other parents off the vaccine costing children’s lives autism doesn’t kill Measles mumps and rubella do sadly
xxxx
No