I mean from the wording it sounds like she wasn't threatening to cheat on him, I think she was trying to ask for an open relationship. But that is not the right way to ask.
It wasn’t OPs fault his family fell apart. It was HIS fault. HE’S the abuser, HE’S the reason his mom is cutting him out. These are the consequences of his actions.
Plus other people are SAYING he says he's suicidal. Are they reliable narrators? I actually believe they are, but that's because threatening self harm is a classic emotional manipulation of abusers.
shoutout to the mom cause most story like this when a women get abuse by the husband, the husband mother alway defend the husband but not this mother, she cut him out of her life and other, she know he didn't raise him that well and now he mad that OP told her naw as guy I with OP and the mother and whoever tell OP she asswhole either don't know the whole story or just don't care
The in laws story ~ as long as op has extra monitoring she can have a VBAC however that doesn’t seem to be the issue she’s having here. The issue is the blatant disrespect and doubling down on it. Hubby should absolutely not be torn wether it’s his parents or not, he needs to set boundaries with mummy and daddy Edit: aw mum I’m famous lol
Thankfully there are the options/medical advances nowadays for a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section) but wow...those are some nutty inlaws. I would be so angry if my partner didn't have some solid boundaries in a situation like that.
seriously. parents or not have a fucking back bone dude. if my parents tried to pull ts w my wife (thank god my parents are normal and would NEVER) I would go no contact immediately until they could learn boundaries and respect. It's unreal that he even let it get this far in the first place honestly.
Wha… wow. OP absolutely had a right to break up. He could get over a million in two years, and her response is ‘hmmm… I don’t think that’s enough money to pay for my patience.’
@@fdm2155 well, you cant travel to an in-construction off-shore oil well. Or an off-shore oil well in general. Given the amount of money, thats what i expect hes doing.
@@fdm2155 if he's making that much money, why would he WANT her to visit? With an income like that, he can have a girl just like her, every night of the week, and never see the same one twice!😂 Sack chasers like her are a dime a dozen.
the husband or spouse should be there to support mom unless mom says " no I don't want anyone" , thee in laws were sssoooo in the wrong for bursting in the room
The birth story : the in-laws caused her so much stressed that she couldn’t give birth naturally, causing her to have to get a major abdominal surgery. It is unforgivable
Abuse story: Let’s be real here. It’s a common abuser tactic to threaten to jump off the edge of the flat earth when they don’t get their way. I’d guess your ex is doing this rather than actually considering it, OP. And even if he does, it’s not your fault in any way.
Story 5: Make a huge post about this situation on Facebook and all other social medias, so everyone can read your side because im 100% sure they aren't giving the true story. Then anyone who still thinks you're TA block them and never EVER look back. This would have made me go nuclear and never speak to those in-laws and anyone who sides with then again. Please protect yourself and your daughter, if the husband has a problem with it and can't see how bad this actually is, then he can go too at this point. That's such a disturbing and disgusting situation that they put you through, stay strong.
The title of the story suggested that OP sounds like an A-Hole. But it turns out that the Adult Stepkids were the BIGGEST A-Holes here, expecting OP to be their live-in slave and caretaker by taking advantage of them and their family's kindness and love!
I’d have given the husband in story 2 at least 2/5 buttholes because they obviously tried the ol pity scam. One person gets a premium seat and then the other gets the cheapest seat possible, then they try to guilt trip someone out of their expensive seat so they can get a free upgrade. He knew exactly what he was doing.
Does that ever work, though? Like I can't see myself giving up a seat that I payed an extra couple $100s for so that a couple I don't know gets to chill in 1st class. Frankly, if was in that situation, I'd probably do the opposite and try to sell my 1st class seat to someone and then sit with my wife on the cheap seats, adding the money to the honeymoon fund.
Wait didn't we hear this story a few months ago but from the Wife's POV? Where the Wife traveled a lot and got the points but only one ticket was upgraded and the husband took? The Wife sat in the back of the plane and the husband came with a half plate full saying, "Well I'm apologizing why aren't taking my apology for abandoning you on the plane?"
@@LilDevyl17 Yeah that was a different story and if I remember correctly the husband is afraid of flying too and was pissed his wife wasn’t there to comfort him during the flight and was giving her the silent treatment… unless I’m mistaken it for another Reddit story. Honestly I hear and read stories like this many times, people are so cheap and dumb at times. I especially hate the ones where the parents have like first class seats but their kids have economy (or reverse) and the parents would ask people to give up their seat for their kids so the kid don’t have to sit with strangers.
In-Laws Incident Story: Oh my god the NARCISSISM from these two. If it was a smell, I'd be dead by having this video playing. They were overbearing during the pregnancy, then they barged into the delivery room, causing complications from stress and having the doctor resort to C-Section (which will make any future pregnancy a C-Section), then they decided to steal all the attention online by being the ones to announce everything, and not only do they feel no remorse for all of it (not even thinking they did anything wrong), but once OP was mad about all of it and decided to withhold Lily, they threw a hissy fit and ran a smear campaign. I don't know if it's grounds for one, but we might need a TRO, because I doubt Lily would be safe near them. All it takes is one perceived slight, and they go off
Having a C-section does NOT force future births to be C-section.... but it depends on how the woman is cut. My little sister is a VBAC and that was back in '94.
TBH, I'd have started a lawsuit against them for the medical costs associated with the c-section and have the medical staff sign statements that the in-laws caused the pregnancy to go wrong and devolve into an invasive surgical procedure that causes lasting issues as well as for the 'revenge porn' of them posting intimate images online without consent.
Honestly, I was surprised you scored them as a 3.5! I would have given then at LEAST 4.5!! What they did is honestly disgusting and RUINED her ability to give a natural birth over something SO PETTY! And to have the audacity to get mad at her?! WTF HELL NOO. For their attitude alone with worth 3.5, for the damages they caused her, easily pushes them over 4.5
Well, she could still give birth naturally, depending on how long she waits for another baby, her healing, etc. I was planning on having a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section) with my 4th but she really wasn’t trying to come out so it was easier to schedule a ce-section. That said, they literally put OP and the baby in danger by busting in that way and caused her permanent physical and emotional damage. To suddenly have to have a c-section because of other PEOPLE, and not a medical issue beyond your control must be added trauma to the already traumatic event to childbirth. Those grandparents and anyone who says OP should forgive don’t deserve to see that baby. And the sisters can let their parents in every birth they have if they think it’s no big deal.
I’m super impressed with the way his mom dealt with it. Immediately went to “let’s get my son help” and then kicked his ass to the curb the second he said no.
And really, let’s be real here. It’s a common abuser tactic to threaten to jump off the edge of the flat earth when they don’t get their way. Even if he was genuinely considering it, it’s still not OP’s fault. It’s his own for refusing to fix his issues.
Not that I like hearing about self-deletion, even if it's from abusers, but if they can't live to deal with their problems like a sane person, what else can you expect of them? Life's too short for people to constantly subject themselves to abuse.
640k and I basically get 8 months out of the year with you? AND ITS ONLY FOR 2 YEARS??? yeah I'll get over it. I'll be lonely debt free, in a mansion and in an Audi. 💀
She fumbled the bag so hard, she could have been wiping her tears with 100 dollars bills for like 2 years but nooooo. Why are evil people so dumb, these days. She could have kept it hush and have her cake and eat it too but... Welp.
Yeah I’d be oh you gonna pay off ’our’ depts and set us up with a good start. You only want me to take care of our dwelling in the meantime? Sign me up I’ll clean everything top to bottom with a toothbrush everyday no problem 😂
Story 1: WTF? gf: if you go to your job i’ll cheat Op: ok i’m dumping you because i don’t like cheaters gf: WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS…? Lool no NTA, Gf played a stupid game and won a stupid prize. Imagine being so stupid that you think your bf would stay with you after admitting you’ll cheat
I think she was trying to ask for an open relationship rather than threatening to cheat, but that was not the right way to ask at all. And if he didn't want an open relationship then she needs to accept that.
@@nicorizzo5402 I'd like to hear her side of the story. It's possible that she well and truly didn't mean it but said something in the heat of the moment she couldn't take back because she felt her feelings were being invalidated in favor of cash. Or she could be a huge bitch, IDK but I don't fully trust OP.
@@nicorizzo5402 no she wasn't. she didn't ask anything, she just said that if op took the job she'd sleep with someone else, she didn't try to come to any kind of agreement, she just said she was gonna sleep with another guy if op left. thats 100% threatening to cheat.
@@GatorGamerDude she was asking him not to take it. He was too dumb to hear what she was saying the whole time so he probably just omitted the part where she told him bluntly that she didn't think he should take the job. She said she didn't care about the extra money for example. Only in america can you get a butthole score that high for NOT being greedy.
Re: Told them the truth: let’s be very clear. OP didn’t break up the family - her ex’s actions did. If you do something that harms another person and that person shares what you did to them, what happens after is not the consequence of them telling. It’s the consequence of what you did in the first place, full stop.
R-Slash, I know you think you were too harsh on the in-laws in the C-section story, but you were honestly too kind. They ruined the birth experience and stressed her out till she had to have a C-section even though she was already pushing! This could have caused severe possibly fatal outcomes for mom and baby! Now they are gaslighting OP and calling themselves the victim. They did care about the baby or OP, just what they themselves wanted. They deserve at least 4.5/5.
Story 3: NTA. The classic "I can do it but you can't do it" BS. He abused you and tormented you for so long and basically made your life hell. But the moment you outed him, that's not okay? I doubt he actually is s*icidal, maybe he said that to gain sympathy.
Ikr. People who are actually suicidal will rarely tell you. There will be signs but knowing he's an abuser. He's definitely just saying it to get sympathy.
I would also see about contacting the social media platforms they’ve used to post intimate details about OP giving birth and see if they can be taken down.
How did the hubands parents know she was in the room? How'd they know which hospital? When to rush there? Am I the only one who's smelling something fishy there? That she's not thinking about it but it's his fault that that happened? And it might be time to reevaluate the relationship because on top of that he's not taking her side, and letting his family cause suffering and trauma to her?
Im pissed at the enlaws that barged in the delivery room, they could have even harmed her and ber baby. No you do not owe them time and space in the delivery room. That is for the birthing mother to decide who she wants with her in there, that is a very vulnerable moment. And then they posted pictures of her without her permission and they can't see how disrespectful that crap is. No, figure out how inconsiderate that behavior is or don't see your grandchild. Those people are too old for that entitled behavior. Grow the F up
Although i'm fully on OP's side and think the in-laws are pure rturds... Personally i don't think that happened. No way a hospital or a doctor would allow such mess happen without putting down the hammer. Not to mention barged in the delivery room? No way any nurses or doctor would be opening the delivery room for dumb reason. Not to mention, they would ask the couple 1st if they would allow other people in, which would be a long shot for any doctor or nurse to even consider, if the father is already in the room with the mother trying to give birth... The hospital would had sued or called the cops on that entitled in-laws for demolishing their delivery room door...
@@tehevilengineer7939Is she though? Depending on your interpretation she either doesn't support his plans or the relationship. Regardless, they're clearly incompatible.
12:14 I don't think that's entirely true. My mom had a c-section with my older brother, but 2 years later, I was a natural birth. Unless something has changed in the last 20 years about how safe it is to give birth, I think it is still possible
You can have a VBAC depending on your doctor and your situation. For some women he is right- a VBAC is too risky. You do need a lot of monitoring and should definitely wait quite a while to try it. In my case, having my daughter VBAC after my son will be too risky so I will be having a repeat csection
Women's health provider here: VBAC is only possible with certain incision sites and several other variables. It's not a guarantee that someone can have a VBAC or natural birth after. Certain incision types used in an emergency make it extremely dangerous to even attempt, as there is a far higher chance of rupture.
That last story is... weird. It is a place where nudity is allowed. OP was nude in the hot spring. OP was talking to Hot Spring Lady, and she had no issues with OP's nudity. Karen demands OP get dressed and get "Decent", and when they refuse, Karen and HSL both think OP is an asshole. Things seem... weird to me. I can only imagine that the cause is that OP is a man? After all, nudity wasn't an issue or anyone *until* "But think of the children" became a thing. Granted, perhaps HSL thought OP was an asshole because of how they reacted to the Karen?
If you're so worried about your kids seeing nudity... Why on earth would you take them to a nude hot spring??? Lady, go somewhere else, not everywhere needs to cater to your spawn.
My teenage son wad listening too, and he commented that he thought the guy was an ah cause he's a naked dude swearing at two women calling them b words, so that's one perspective.
@@mariposa9506 Swearing is indeed rude (though OP being a man and them being women is irrelevant to that imo), so he is an AH for that. Although, in fairness, an entitled person came to him with an ocean of entitlement, which does not earn her any amount of respect.
Any 'can you move to a different seat?' story I like to quote Stewie 'Your poor planning doesn't constitute an emergency for me'. I get bad travel sickness, so I will always book a window seat. If you ask me to move, you are going to find me politely declining.
Ngl when he said “we can get the dog you always wanted” my eyes lit up and my brain went “oh that’s a sweet arrangement if I miss him I can play with or walk the dog if I miss him and we can’t video chat”
To quote the top post on the 1st story. "Bro for $600k i'd be faithful to you! XD" What a way to throw away somethings so good. She diden't deserve OP.
Last story: The last story reminded me of the signs that are posted ALL OVER Buckingham palace that their horses bite and not to mess with them. Yet people still do it anyway, the horses bite and then the tourists become super offended and try to yell at the guards. I know they’re two completely different scenarios but they still have the same message
Story 3: I would not feel guilty about him feeling suicidal. He caused his own downfall. He refused processional help and abused his girlfriend till she fled. Sure the mom cutting him off was an unexpected consequence to his mom knowing how horrid of a man he was but hey, maybe his friends can comfort him because OP shouldn’t feel guilty at all
I doubt he was truly suicidal. Not to minimize it, but 9 times out of 10 abusers don’t have the humility or empathy or anything like that to be that remorseful. Probably another abusive manipulation tactic. But always take it seriously. Call 911, get them to the hospital for treatment. I bet he won’t feel that way again.
GF: "If you're gone that long, I'll cheat on you" OP: "Ok, goodbye" GF: *Shocked Pikachu face* The in-laws in the second-last story deserve the full 5/5, I'd even look into pressing charges for what they did
In law story: God, I hate that one guy that was like "We forgave you for your outburst so you should forgive us", as if she was in the wrong for being upset with them for barging in like that
its narcissism. my narcissistic sister also said similar thing when i disown her for her unforgivable actions: "i'm sorry for my action, and i'm sure you didnt mean what you did" even though she went on smear campaign on me and trying to pass her projection and slander as the truth.
I don’t think he was referring to his promotion as the first world problem but that his gf can’t handle him being gone for a long time. However I can be wrong.
I think the situation is largely missunderstood. OP already had enough money to live a comfortable life and his gf didn't want him to be away for that long. Her saying she'd cheat might be less of a prophecy than a dare for him not to go.
Real classy move -- say you're going to cheat on someone, then say you never really meant that after they broke up with you. Sorry, GF, you made your bed, now you're going to lie down on it. OP showed you the door; move out before he kicks you out.
first story: hey, op, if youre looking for a reliable, faithfull partner... im right here, i mean im a straight guy but im great at cuddling... so ... hit me up? jokes aside that story is hilarious
@@dominickeijzer5844He's implying that OP is fortunate enough to know what kind of women his girlfriend is NOW rather than later. Saves a lot of headache and heartbreak later.
Sandra is amazing. You read so many stories on here where the mum supports their abusive son/daughter or excuses the awful behavior they expose their spouse and children to. It’s women like Sandra who make the most awesome mothers. I liked how she gave her son options and he chose to do nothing and she cut him off. If anyone is to blame for his family cutting him off, it’s him.
And no one should give away something they’ve paid extra for. Not everyone cares that you’re on your honeymoon, are pregnant, want to sit by your kids, etc
I woulda given the parents 4/5. They crossed a health, respected boundary; they posted photos and information about a child without the consent of the parents, AND not only are they unapologetic, I bet they told the paternal side of the family OP did give permission but then backed out. I had no idea about the C-section thing, so new fear unlocked, but even with that, I’m mad they caused their DIL so much added stress during the most stressful and painful experience a woman can go through that she could follow her original birth plan. These in-laws SUCK!!! 🤬🤬🤬
That first story, I really think the woman just wanted him and the money didn't matter to her. Especially since he was making a TON of money already. No more sacrifice was needed. I think she was trying to scare him into not going and it backfired on her. Not a good move, but I don't think it came from wanting to cheat.
Yeah honestly those are my thoughts too. I also think she may have felt her feelings were being invalidated because he wouldn't listen to her about not wanting him to go so she tried to scare him. Obviously it didn't end well. I'd like to hear her side of the story. Something about this story seems a little fishy and I don't fully trust OP.
@@l.tc.5032 … I’m sorry but how else are you suppose to take “I’m not going to go months without sex”. She is basically saying that she will cheat if you’re not around. Even if she was trying to say she didn’t care about the money and just wanted him, that is an absolutely idiotic and awful way to phrase it. I have no sympathy for this girl, she’s the one that torpedoed the relationship, not the man. When someone tells you who they are believe them. I mean, if your girlfriend/boyfriend told you this, would you be willing to take that gamble to see if they’d be faithful when they basically admitted they wouldn’t be?
She had an extremely short sighted view though, he’d never have to go away for work again after a couple years and they would be set for life with the right investments, a couple years of sacrifice for the rest of your life to be paradise seems like an incredible deal. Unless she wants him gone for a month at a time for the foreseeable future…
Ik for myself I'd never threaten to cheat but I'd be absolutely heart broken if my boyfriend didn't care that I prefer him over money, especially if they were doing fine prior. Like yeah you can go do it ill be here depressed as 💩 alone ig. But threatening to cheat is disgusting and she should have thought about what consequences it'd have and how that would make him feel.
I will never understand why friends of family and extended family would call someone to complain about something they did or didn't do to someone else. It's completely insane behavior to me.
Wait they came into her delivery room uninvited she had them kicked out, but they have forgiven her for embarrassing them? so she should forgive them for barging inr ? Um no, that's not at all how anything works.
For 650k, he can be gone for a year, have a side piece, and Ill still be at home cooking and cleaning for him with a big ass smile on my face. Girl, you're insane.
*First OP:* OP's ex is a _doofus!_ How are you going to fumble the bag like that?! OP did the right thing breaking up with her. OP is NTA. OP, if you're reading this and you're looking for someone, I wouldn't mind if you left months at a time. In fact, my introverted self would appreciate it; just sayin'. *Second OP:* OP made a good point. Why didn't the husband join his wife in economy? Or have her sit in premium? I hope OP asked his wife if she'd do "the nice thing" if she were in his situation. OP is NTA. *Third OP:* I'm just glad Sandra is on OP's side. If her ex expressed he would unalive himself, then OP or Sandra need to call 911. OP is NTA. Nah, the ex deserves the full 5/5. *Fourth OP:* And that's why you don't bite the hand that feeds you. OP is NTA. *Fifth OP:* How was _any_ of that allowed?! Also, OP had to get a C-section because of them? I'd be throwing hands idc. OP's in-laws don't need to be anywhere near Lily, or OP for that matter. OP is NTA. *Sixth OP:* I'm trying to figure out why the mom presumably singled out OP (unless he's the only one not wearing clothes). I wonder if it's because of body shaming from the mom? IDK. Either way, OP is NTA.
12:00 that's incorrect rSlash. Vaginal delivery after having a C-section is called VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). The success rate is 60-80% if they have never had a vaginal birth, and 85-95% if they have previous had a vaginal birth. My mother had two VBACs and my wife had a VBAC.
Story 1: I mean I understand being unhappy about your partner being gone for that long. But if so you just break up or find a solution instead of threatening to cheat. It's just immature and if you can't handle being in a relationship like that then you shouldn't be.
I mean, look, I can see the GF's side as well in story #1. Sometimes it's just not about the money. A person has needs, and might not be fit for long-distance. Also, as another comment pointed out, there was no chance for compromise, like regular visits or something? That being said, the whole "I might cheat on you, if you go" schtick sealed the deal for me. NTA
Clearing up R/slash’s misinformation. As long as your c-section was preformed with a horizontal incision, you can have vaginal deliveries with future pregnancies. If it was a vertical incision, then yes, all future babies will have to be born surgically. Sorry, but I needed to make sure that was corrected, lol.
Story 5. This is anecdotal, but I have a friend who had to have a c section for her first baby but was able to give birth naturally for her second and third so it's not necessarily true about having to get c sections in the future.
in the In Law problems story the hospital could be in trouble for allowing the in laws in. I know in the USA this is actually a HIPPA violation for letting them know what room they're in without express permission. The Hospital deserves not only an AHole score but a lawsuit served to them.
100% agree. What lie could have been told in order to enter a locked ward without permission?! The hospitals I worked at had those wards locked down and when you came to visit you had to give your name and who you were there to visit, the person goes and asks the patient if they can come in (if they weren’t on the list), then you get buzzed in. If you weren’t allowed in and didn’t leave immediately, security is called.
No kidding. Even in hotels, we can't give out certain info to random callers asking for a person's room number or to be transferred, and some places even require an ID to get room keys when they're lost or forgotten. Hospitals should be much stricter.
The guilt OP feels in the abuse story is a common side affect of abuse. She should bring it up to her therapist to work through, because part of her is still working through knowing she didn't deserve the abuse and she didn't do anything to deserve what her partner did to her.
My little one is 4 months, there was no room for negotiation during the delivery, what she wanted was law no matter how much whining was done, some people think they get rights over a baby just because they're related, nope if you're in their life that is a privilege not a right that we can and will take away without remorse if you mess up.
I need to give a correction on the C-section story. Once you have a C-section it is possible to have a natural birth I know this because I was a C-section and my younger sister was a natural birth. It is rare from what I've looked into but it does happen my sister is living proof.
That last one is like when people brought their pre-teen children to watch the Deadpool movies (at least, the first two movies when I saw them did. Haven't seen 3 yet). It explicitly says rated 18+; what, did they think "months"?
I imagine that in the first story, GF's strategy was "If I threaten him, he'll stay". A stupid strategy, but a strategy nonetheless. Also with a 640k a-year salary she could have visited him every month, but noooooo lol.
Hey just a heads up, as a woman who has had a c section, you can still try for natural labor so long as the c wasn't to traumatic (ie planned and/or clean cuts). Just don't want anyone considering or scared of c sections to have any unnecessary stress. True your chance of pushing are reduced, but not gone.
Truth story: NTA, OP. You didn’t tear his family apart, HE did! In-Laws story: NTA. They need to learn that actions like what they did have *gasp* consequences!
Story 5: I would make them regret getting the family involved. Tell every single person that tried to berate me that because of them they have to wait even longer to see your child. Let your husband know about all the harassment and tell him that you do not want to see any of those people for the seeable future and if they keep calling, it will be permanent. I know it’s hard on your husband because that’s his family, but his family just gave birth to his child. The two of you come first no matter what.
Also, where does the family get off thinking this is their place? I certainly don’t stick my nose into every family argument. And I have never had a family member stick their noses in mine. A few times someone has asked if I’m okay or needed to talk but never told me what to do. Also, if they truly think the in-laws should see the baby I would be there helping OP out as much as possible (if OP allowed it) and making sure she was recovering well from the stress because adding to her stress is going to make her less likely to forgive (if she ever decides to, she has every right to never do so). God, forgiveness is not a right, it’s a privilege that not everyone gets or deserves.
First story: NTA. You don't treaten with cheating just to get your way. I say take the job and dump the girlfriend, surely you can find the right girl on your travels, OP.
For that last one, they would probably have a pretty solid case to go after the parents for punitive damages. I'm not sure on the legality of it, but by obtaining access to a hospital under false pretenses they were at least trespassing. Their disruption directly caused the condition that required the C-section. They ought to not only pay that bill, but all follow-up treatments as well. And it probably has the added benefit of alienating them for life so you never have to deal with them again, unless the law is involved.
Fuck, if my SO was going to get a job that makes that kind of money and I'd have some time off for 4 months to myself (and potentially a dog). Sign me up baby! Fly me to visit, let's go. Travel, a dog, and time to myself for my hobbies. The idea is exciting.
What if there was a 25% chance, 1 in 4... That he'd die? Or if he was spending a significant amount of time with attractive women during those four months?
Unless you have a vertical incision, you typically don’t HAVE to have another c-section, although at least when I had mine 20 years ago, they recommended you wait at least nine months before getting pregnant if you want to attempt a VBAC. I believe the more c-sections you have, the higher the risk of rupture. Definitely talk it over with your doc, though.
11:14 how do so many of these people have friends/extended family that are just so infuriatingly stupid and insensitive? Like there's just so many people who go, "yea they broke in took pictures of you while youre naked pushing out a baby and caused you to need an emergency c-section.......... BUUUUUUUUT you're an asshole for denying them the right to see YOUR child even though they have 0 respect for you as a person"
Also, at 11:29: "If they were *kind* enough to forgive OP after she threw a hissy fit"? Pardon?? The in-laws that broke into her room deserve 5 out of 5, while the 2 sisters should be given the 3.5 out of 5 if anyone.
Honestly, I feel like the husbands parents from the birth story should have gotten a higher rating, cuz they made any future plans riskier just because they were selfish
Story 5: I think you went light, rSlash. 4.5 minimum, because they could have killed the baby, and did permanent physical damage to the OP. Husband also deserves an AH score for not physically removing his parents from the area. She should get a divorce.
@@TheEDFLegacy why? He tried to get them out the room but with his wife giving birth at the same I’m sure it was stressful having that all happen at once, I’m sure his focus was being there right next to wife. The wife said in the story he tried to get them out and at the end of the story he stood by and sided with her. You can’t choose what type of people your parents are unfortunately.
The OP whose MIL/FIL bursted into the delivery room should look into SUING THEM! I'm sure the C-section cost more than the labor they were doing, as well as the damage to future deliveries, all of which can have a coat assigned to them! Not to mention the indecent photos taken in a private space of Op durong a MEDICAL procedure, which i bet didnt censor private medical information, medical information about the newborn witgout consent, & all the slander being told about OP that damaged her reputation, which in a small town could have been significant! That's not even counting emotional damage!
YES! Like why are people defending this girl? SHE JUST ADMITTED SHE WOULD CHEAT IF YOU WEREN’T AROUND! “Oh maybe she just worded things badly” *FACEPALM* People like this will refuse to see the parade of red flags and then wonder why they got screwed over.
Small correction: Not all births following a c-section HAVE to be more c-sections. It used to be the case but it is not anymore. Multiple factors play at it - the scar tissue itself, medical history, reason for first c-section & the type of incision made.
Story 1 : NTA.. misery loves company.. the ex didn't want op to better himself so op did bye dumping it.. Story 2 : NTA.. I hate entitled people so much.. " but but we're married but I'm pregnant but" but nothing.. Story 3 : NTA... never ever hide abuse ever.. op you did the right thing.. Story 4 : NTA.. " you're not my dad unless it's convenient for me "... Story 5 : NTA.. its you're kid so the only decision that matters is yours and your husband op.. just remeber " keeping the peace" never works out well...op time to get a restraining order vs them.. why is op even taking these calls does she know how the block button works ?? Nahhh rslash you're being to nice the in-laws get 4.5 out of 5 a holes being entitled Karen's who think the world revolves around them and when it was proven that it didn't they become 2 10 year olds Story 6 : NTA..who brings kids to an adult hot springs ?? Entitled people are bullies so op only returned the energy she was given .. the Karen gets 3 out of 5 a hole for thinking she can boss anyone around and the other B word that op was talking to gets 3 out of 5 as well for not being ok with op defending herself from the intrusive karen...
The DV story. So he would rather end his life than go to anger management classes? What is there to feel bad about? He thinks he’s justified in abusing her
"If you leave for months, I will spend the nights with someone else." "Okay, bye!" "But... No, I didn't mean cheating!" And what did you mean, darling? It's not like your words had a second meaning or something. Or, perhaps you tried to gaslight the guy, huh? Come on.
He said they were 21 to 25. Youngest in school. Other two employed. And the older ones have supposedly been saving money to afford to move out. So if they knew the house was on the market, I'm not sure why they were up in arms when it sold. Did they think he was gonna split the money with them? $10K each, especially after they acted like jackasses, was very generous.😆😆😆 This was definitely a FAFO situation for the 'kids'.
Honestly, Dabney, I do say you're wrong about the childbirth thing... But in the _opposite_ direction. The parents lied to medical staff to enter, and they whipped out her phone while effectively bottomless to record her! While she didn't say that they tried recording the actual birth itself, the sheer fact that her vagina was exposed, and they had the potential to, is disgusting, potentially creepy.
The guy wanting to swap seats was probably lying. They've likely pulled that before. The crazy in-laws that caused her to have a c section should be sued. The hospital too. They should have checked if they were allowed to be there. They're nuts enough to go full no contact. They put her and her baby's life in danger. They caused op to go through unnecessary surgery and have a big scar. The fact they don't care and are still being nasty is unforgettable. Keep them away from your daughter.
That C section thing isn't entirely true. Yes some doctors refuse to do a natural birth. My sister just delivered her 2nd baby naturally after having her first kid as a c section+
My mom is demanding and just bursts through doors she wants to, so I knew her being in the birthing room was gonna be a problem. Thankfully, she was two states away, and God was looking out for me. He made TWO cars break down on her, and she had to get my aunt to bring her. She got there just after I had the baby. 😂
First One: Yeah, I'd take the money rather than the girlfriend threatening to cheat. OP can definitely do better! Last Story: Actually, a more accurate comparison would be going to a "clothing optional" beach and telling everyone to get dressed because your kids are there! I swear that was a gag in an episode of Bob's Burgers~ xP
You dont always have to have only c-sections after the first one. I was a c-section baby, and my mom went on to have 4 more natural births afterward. It just increases your chances for more c-sections in the future.
@@leeanajennae Women's health provider, with a high percentage of VBAC patients, here: VBAC is only possible with certain incision sites and several other variables. It's not a guarantee that someone can have a VBAC or natural birth after. Certain incision types used in an emergency make it extremely dangerous to even attempt, as there is a far higher chance of rupture.
Fifth story: NTA. Why give them a chance? They acted like buttholes. Also, THEY forgive YOU?! What OP did wrong to begin with? Nothing. I say is time to go no contact and force the husband into that plan since it seems he wants to take his parents' side.
@@franciscojaviermendezrinco1902 she said he sided with her but was torn about it. Just cutting contact with your parents isn’t as easy or simple as putting on shoes.
Girlfriend: LEMME SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU!!! I WILL CHEAT ON YOU!!!
Also girlfriend: no! You misunderstood! I wasn’t gonna cheat on you!
I mean from the wording it sounds like she wasn't threatening to cheat on him, I think she was trying to ask for an open relationship. But that is not the right way to ask.
Clearly OP wasn't dating her for her brains 🤣🤣🤣
Bruh this! 😂
The best part is that she said it like OP was stupid or something
@@nicorizzo5402 Well she didn't ask... she demanded. and got the consequences.
It wasn’t OPs fault his family fell apart. It was HIS fault. HE’S the abuser, HE’S the reason his mom is cutting him out. These are the consequences of his actions.
Not to mention it’s not like the mother cut him off immediately,she told him to go get help and only cut him off after he said no
And I’m happy to hear she immediately believed OP and cut him off, rather than blaming her and making excuses.
And it shows what kind of people his friends are for sympathizing with an abusive person and trying to guilt his punching bag.
Plus other people are SAYING he says he's suicidal. Are they reliable narrators? I actually believe they are, but that's because threatening self harm is a classic emotional manipulation of abusers.
shoutout to the mom cause most story like this when a women get abuse by the husband, the husband mother alway defend the husband but not this mother, she cut him out of her life and other, she know he didn't raise him that well and now he mad that OP told her naw as guy I with OP and the mother and whoever tell OP she asswhole either don't know the whole story or just don't care
The in laws story ~ as long as op has extra monitoring she can have a VBAC however that doesn’t seem to be the issue she’s having here. The issue is the blatant disrespect and doubling down on it. Hubby should absolutely not be torn wether it’s his parents or not, he needs to set boundaries with mummy and daddy
Edit: aw mum I’m famous lol
Thankfully there are the options/medical advances nowadays for a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section) but wow...those are some nutty inlaws. I would be so angry if my partner didn't have some solid boundaries in a situation like that.
The more immediate issue is that OP could have died. Modern medicine saved her life, but otherwise...
This. Both she and the baby could have died. I dont think people realize how serious it is
seriously. parents or not have a fucking back bone dude. if my parents tried to pull ts w my wife (thank god my parents are normal and would NEVER) I would go no contact immediately until they could learn boundaries and respect. It's unreal that he even let it get this far in the first place honestly.
OP needs to just tell everyone about how her in-laws almost killed her and the baby. see how many people remain on the in-laws side then.
Wha… wow. OP absolutely had a right to break up. He could get over a million in two years, and her response is ‘hmmm… I don’t think that’s enough money to pay for my patience.’
GF: “If you’re gonna be gone for that long I might as well cheat on you.”
OP: “Guess we’re breaking up, then.”
GF: *shocked Pikachu face
Also if he's making THAT kind of money, she could travel to visit him relatively frequently. So wtf?
@@fdm2155 well, you cant travel to an in-construction off-shore oil well. Or an off-shore oil well in general. Given the amount of money, thats what i expect hes doing.
@@fdm2155 if he's making that much money, why would he WANT her to visit? With an income like that, he can have a girl just like her, every night of the week, and never see the same one twice!😂 Sack chasers like her are a dime a dozen.
Specially since airplanes exist
Childbirth is a very intense medical procedure. No one else, not in-laws or even the father, has a right to be in the delivery room.
the husband or spouse should be there to support mom unless mom says " no I don't want anyone" , thee in laws were sssoooo in the wrong for bursting in the room
The word "right" is it. Ideally the spouse - partner - father is there but it's up to the mother and her doctor.
Which shocks me why security wasn’t called the moment they refused to leave. I wonder if OP or the hospital could press charges?
@@lorilancaster5917honestly with how their interference cause permanent damage to op I definitely go no contact and see if I can press charges
The in-laws on the third story deserve a 4.5
The birth story : the in-laws caused her so much stressed that she couldn’t give birth naturally, causing her to have to get a major abdominal surgery. It is unforgivable
Yep. She needs to block everyone who is calling and making demands. I had a emergency c-section, and I don't wish that or the recovery on anyone.
@@RockinTheBassGuitar honestly, if it happened in the US, I would sue them for the medical cost that happened after their little intervention…
Abuse story: Let’s be real here. It’s a common abuser tactic to threaten to jump off the edge of the flat earth when they don’t get their way. I’d guess your ex is doing this rather than actually considering it, OP. And even if he does, it’s not your fault in any way.
Not like it'd be a big loss either
"the flat earth" 💀
Story 5: Make a huge post about this situation on Facebook and all other social medias, so everyone can read your side because im 100% sure they aren't giving the true story. Then anyone who still thinks you're TA block them and never EVER look back. This would have made me go nuclear and never speak to those in-laws and anyone who sides with then again. Please protect yourself and your daughter, if the husband has a problem with it and can't see how bad this actually is, then he can go too at this point. That's such a disturbing and disgusting situation that they put you through, stay strong.
I would also try to see about moving far away from them. If spouse won’t join, then he’s chosen his side.
@lorilancaster5917 yes!!!
The title of the story suggested that OP sounds like an A-Hole.
But it turns out that the Adult Stepkids were the BIGGEST A-Holes here, expecting OP to be their live-in slave and caretaker by taking advantage of them and their family's kindness and love!
I’d have given the husband in story 2 at least 2/5 buttholes because they obviously tried the ol pity scam. One person gets a premium seat and then the other gets the cheapest seat possible, then they try to guilt trip someone out of their expensive seat so they can get a free upgrade. He knew exactly what he was doing.
Exactly, I heard so many stories that happen exactly like that.
Does that ever work, though? Like I can't see myself giving up a seat that I payed an extra couple $100s for so that a couple I don't know gets to chill in 1st class.
Frankly, if was in that situation, I'd probably do the opposite and try to sell my 1st class seat to someone and then sit with my wife on the cheap seats, adding the money to the honeymoon fund.
Wait didn't we hear this story a few months ago but from the Wife's POV? Where the Wife traveled a lot and got the points but only one ticket was upgraded and the husband took? The Wife sat in the back of the plane and the husband came with a half plate full saying, "Well I'm apologizing why aren't taking my apology for abandoning you on the plane?"
@@LilDevyl17 Yeah that was a different story and if I remember correctly the husband is afraid of flying too and was pissed his wife wasn’t there to comfort him during the flight and was giving her the silent treatment… unless I’m mistaken it for another Reddit story.
Honestly I hear and read stories like this many times, people are so cheap and dumb at times. I especially hate the ones where the parents have like first class seats but their kids have economy (or reverse) and the parents would ask people to give up their seat for their kids so the kid don’t have to sit with strangers.
Heh he should have let the wife have the seat then a) to be a gentleman if the scam failed, and b) women elicit more sympathy anyway.
In-Laws Incident Story: Oh my god the NARCISSISM from these two. If it was a smell, I'd be dead by having this video playing. They were overbearing during the pregnancy, then they barged into the delivery room, causing complications from stress and having the doctor resort to C-Section (which will make any future pregnancy a C-Section), then they decided to steal all the attention online by being the ones to announce everything, and not only do they feel no remorse for all of it (not even thinking they did anything wrong), but once OP was mad about all of it and decided to withhold Lily, they threw a hissy fit and ran a smear campaign.
I don't know if it's grounds for one, but we might need a TRO, because I doubt Lily would be safe near them. All it takes is one perceived slight, and they go off
Having a C-section does NOT force future births to be C-section.... but it depends on how the woman is cut. My little sister is a VBAC and that was back in '94.
TBH, I'd have started a lawsuit against them for the medical costs associated with the c-section and have the medical staff sign statements that the in-laws caused the pregnancy to go wrong and devolve into an invasive surgical procedure that causes lasting issues as well as for the 'revenge porn' of them posting intimate images online without consent.
I really feel like spouse and staff could’ve done more to have booted them out sooner. I’m curious to know how they found out OP was giving birth?
@@lorilancaster5917 Suspect #1 is the husband.
As long as the c-section was performed with a horizontal incision (bikini cut) you can have successful vaginal births with future babies.
Honestly, I was surprised you scored them as a 3.5! I would have given then at LEAST 4.5!! What they did is honestly disgusting and RUINED her ability to give a natural birth over something SO PETTY! And to have the audacity to get mad at her?! WTF HELL NOO. For their attitude alone with worth 3.5, for the damages they caused her, easily pushes them over 4.5
Well, she could still give birth naturally, depending on how long she waits for another baby, her healing, etc. I was planning on having a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section) with my 4th but she really wasn’t trying to come out so it was easier to schedule a ce-section.
That said, they literally put OP and the baby in danger by busting in that way and caused her permanent physical and emotional damage. To suddenly have to have a c-section because of other PEOPLE, and not a medical issue beyond your control must be added trauma to the already traumatic event to childbirth. Those grandparents and anyone who says OP should forgive don’t deserve to see that baby. And the sisters can let their parents in every birth they have if they think it’s no big deal.
No. Get perspective. The high scores are for chomos and psychopaths.
Yea you're right. They should get a higher score
Sandra Punishing OP's Ex: Oh no, the consequences of my actions! He got what he deserved for abusing OP, why should we feel sorry?
I’m super impressed with the way his mom dealt with it. Immediately went to “let’s get my son help” and then kicked his ass to the curb the second he said no.
And really, let’s be real here. It’s a common abuser tactic to threaten to jump off the edge of the flat earth when they don’t get their way. Even if he was genuinely considering it, it’s still not OP’s fault. It’s his own for refusing to fix his issues.
Not that I like hearing about self-deletion, even if it's from abusers, but if they can't live to deal with their problems like a sane person, what else can you expect of them? Life's too short for people to constantly subject themselves to abuse.
I got filtered out for saying he should LowTierGod. I have no regret lmao.
I got filtered out for saying that threatening to jump off the edge of the flat earth is a common abuser tactic. Can’t even use euphemisms apparently.
640k and I basically get 8 months out of the year with you? AND ITS ONLY FOR 2 YEARS??? yeah I'll get over it. I'll be lonely debt free, in a mansion and in an Audi. 💀
With more than enough money to buy things for those "needs" too
She fumbled the bag so hard, she could have been wiping her tears with 100 dollars bills for like 2 years but nooooo.
Why are evil people so dumb, these days. She could have kept it hush and have her cake and eat it too but... Welp.
Yeah I’d be oh you gonna pay off ’our’ depts and set us up with a good start. You only want me to take care of our dwelling in the meantime? Sign me up I’ll clean everything top to bottom with a toothbrush everyday no problem 😂
I will literally be a SAHW if my husband is bringing that kind of salary. Just give me like .5% or less for groceries.
@@hiroshi7025dude, be happy they're dumb
Story 1: WTF?
gf: if you go to your job i’ll cheat
Op: ok i’m dumping you because i don’t like cheaters
gf: WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS…?
Lool no NTA, Gf played a stupid game and won a stupid prize.
Imagine being so stupid that you think your bf would stay with you after admitting you’ll cheat
I think she was trying to ask for an open relationship rather than threatening to cheat, but that was not the right way to ask at all. And if he didn't want an open relationship then she needs to accept that.
It doesn't matter if he makes $250k, $650k or $25,000.... you don't cheat.
@@nicorizzo5402 I'd like to hear her side of the story. It's possible that she well and truly didn't mean it but said something in the heat of the moment she couldn't take back because she felt her feelings were being invalidated in favor of cash. Or she could be a huge bitch, IDK but I don't fully trust OP.
@@nicorizzo5402 no she wasn't. she didn't ask anything, she just said that if op took the job she'd sleep with someone else, she didn't try to come to any kind of agreement, she just said she was gonna sleep with another guy if op left. thats 100% threatening to cheat.
@@GatorGamerDude she was asking him not to take it. He was too dumb to hear what she was saying the whole time so he probably just omitted the part where she told him bluntly that she didn't think he should take the job. She said she didn't care about the extra money for example.
Only in america can you get a butthole score that high for NOT being greedy.
Re: Told them the truth: let’s be very clear. OP didn’t break up the family - her ex’s actions did. If you do something that harms another person and that person shares what you did to them, what happens after is not the consequence of them telling. It’s the consequence of what you did in the first place, full stop.
R-Slash, I know you think you were too harsh on the in-laws in the C-section story, but you were honestly too kind. They ruined the birth experience and stressed her out till she had to have a C-section even though she was already pushing! This could have caused severe possibly fatal outcomes for mom and baby! Now they are gaslighting OP and calling themselves the victim. They did care about the baby or OP, just what they themselves wanted. They deserve at least 4.5/5.
Story 3: NTA. The classic "I can do it but you can't do it" BS. He abused you and tormented you for so long and basically made your life hell. But the moment you outed him, that's not okay? I doubt he actually is s*icidal, maybe he said that to gain sympathy.
Oh, the termination claims are 100% just another abuse tactic
@@Ikajoas someone who’s been suicidal before; you’re 100000% right
Ikr. People who are actually suicidal will rarely tell you. There will be signs but knowing he's an abuser. He's definitely just saying it to get sympathy.
Story 5:Bro,What is with those people?!?
OP,keep Lily away from them,NTA at all
Definitely a wack couple with no self awareness and main character mentality
I would also see about contacting the social media platforms they’ve used to post intimate details about OP giving birth and see if they can be taken down.
I agree!
In-Laws: We have a RIGHT to see our grandbaby, even after what we did!
OP: Yeah, no!
In-Laws: HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US…?
How did the hubands parents know she was in the room?
How'd they know which hospital?
When to rush there?
Am I the only one who's smelling something fishy there? That she's not thinking about it but it's his fault that that happened?
And it might be time to reevaluate the relationship because on top of that he's not taking her side, and letting his family cause suffering and trauma to her?
Yea really
Im pissed at the enlaws that barged in the delivery room, they could have even harmed her and ber baby. No you do not owe them time and space in the delivery room. That is for the birthing mother to decide who she wants with her in there, that is a very vulnerable moment. And then they posted pictures of her without her permission and they can't see how disrespectful that crap is. No, figure out how inconsiderate that behavior is or don't see your grandchild. Those people are too old for that entitled behavior. Grow the F up
Although i'm fully on OP's side and think the in-laws are pure rturds...
Personally i don't think that happened. No way a hospital or a doctor would allow such mess happen without putting down the hammer. Not to mention barged in the delivery room? No way any nurses or doctor would be opening the delivery room for dumb reason. Not to mention, they would ask the couple 1st if they would allow other people in, which would be a long shot for any doctor or nurse to even consider, if the father is already in the room with the mother trying to give birth...
The hospital would had sued or called the cops on that entitled in-laws for demolishing their delivery room door...
Story 5: NTA. If you decide to get up in someone's business you deserve to be told where your dinner is and how to eat it.
The in-laws sound like the type to sue for grandparents rights
Story 1: The gf was really trying to manipulate OP into staying. The whole I might get lonely and cheat on you thing was just a ploy to make him stay
@@williambragg6171 Yeah. It was a really short sighted and stupid attempt at manipulation, but still. 🙃
Well, he was a little thick. It's not every day a woman picks you over more of your money.
She got a nat 1 on her Persuasion check
That was very foolish on her end and I bet if she succeeded, in a few months time she’ll whine to OP about not earning enough money
@@tehevilengineer7939Is she though? Depending on your interpretation she either doesn't support his plans or the relationship. Regardless, they're clearly incompatible.
12:14 I don't think that's entirely true. My mom had a c-section with my older brother, but 2 years later, I was a natural birth. Unless something has changed in the last 20 years about how safe it is to give birth, I think it is still possible
You're correct. His information is very dated
What he said wasn't true. My wife had a c-section with our second and natural with the third.
It's called a VBAC, and it varies from doctor to doctor if they'll do it cause of complications risk.
You can have a VBAC depending on your doctor and your situation. For some women he is right- a VBAC is too risky. You do need a lot of monitoring and should definitely wait quite a while to try it. In my case, having my daughter VBAC after my son will be too risky so I will be having a repeat csection
Women's health provider here: VBAC is only possible with certain incision sites and several other variables. It's not a guarantee that someone can have a VBAC or natural birth after. Certain incision types used in an emergency make it extremely dangerous to even attempt, as there is a far higher chance of rupture.
That last story is... weird.
It is a place where nudity is allowed.
OP was nude in the hot spring.
OP was talking to Hot Spring Lady, and she had no issues with OP's nudity.
Karen demands OP get dressed and get "Decent", and when they refuse, Karen and HSL both think OP is an asshole.
Things seem... weird to me. I can only imagine that the cause is that OP is a man? After all, nudity wasn't an issue or anyone *until* "But think of the children" became a thing. Granted, perhaps HSL thought OP was an asshole because of how they reacted to the Karen?
If you're so worried about your kids seeing nudity... Why on earth would you take them to a nude hot spring??? Lady, go somewhere else, not everywhere needs to cater to your spawn.
That's my thought,
My teenage son wad listening too, and he commented that he thought the guy was an ah cause he's a naked dude swearing at two women calling them b words, so that's one perspective.
Rslash didn't read the whole thing, or maybe it was updated after he recorded, but the top of the post OP says he's a guy.
@@mariposa9506 Swearing is indeed rude (though OP being a man and them being women is irrelevant to that imo), so he is an AH for that.
Although, in fairness, an entitled person came to him with an ocean of entitlement, which does not earn her any amount of respect.
Crazy in-law story. Post a picture of them pushing out a number 2 and see if they think its violating their privacy
Any 'can you move to a different seat?' story I like to quote Stewie 'Your poor planning doesn't constitute an emergency for me'. I get bad travel sickness, so I will always book a window seat. If you ask me to move, you are going to find me politely declining.
8:57 I really love the pure excitement anytime the name “Lily” is mentioned, it’s really sweet especially in the midst of these stories 😭
Ngl when he said “we can get the dog you always wanted” my eyes lit up and my brain went “oh that’s a sweet arrangement if I miss him I can play with or walk the dog if I miss him and we can’t video chat”
To quote the top post on the 1st story.
"Bro for $600k i'd be faithful to you! XD"
What a way to throw away somethings so good.
She diden't deserve OP.
She tried to manipulate him and he simply said that wasn’t going to happen.
No kidding. If she didn't think she'd be able to last that long, she should have done the sensible thing and broken up.
*4th Story:* Unless OP's deceased wife willed her share of the house to her kids, they have no right to say what OP does with said house.
Agreed. They are mooching.
Last story: The last story reminded me of the signs that are posted ALL OVER Buckingham palace that their horses bite and not to mess with them. Yet people still do it anyway, the horses bite and then the tourists become super offended and try to yell at the guards. I know they’re two completely different scenarios but they still have the same message
Story 3: I would not feel guilty about him feeling suicidal. He caused his own downfall. He refused processional help and abused his girlfriend till she fled. Sure the mom cutting him off was an unexpected consequence to his mom knowing how horrid of a man he was but hey, maybe his friends can comfort him because OP shouldn’t feel guilty at all
I doubt he was truly suicidal. Not to minimize it, but 9 times out of 10 abusers don’t have the humility or empathy or anything like that to be that remorseful. Probably another abusive manipulation tactic. But always take it seriously. Call 911, get them to the hospital for treatment. I bet he won’t feel that way again.
GF: "If you're gone that long, I'll cheat on you"
OP: "Ok, goodbye"
GF: *Shocked Pikachu face*
The in-laws in the second-last story deserve the full 5/5, I'd even look into pressing charges for what they did
In law story: God, I hate that one guy that was like "We forgave you for your outburst so you should forgive us", as if she was in the wrong for being upset with them for barging in like that
"I forgave you for telling me to stop hurting you, so you should forgive me for hurting you. It's only fair."
its narcissism. my narcissistic sister also said similar thing when i disown her for her unforgivable actions: "i'm sorry for my action, and i'm sure you didnt mean what you did" even though she went on smear campaign on me and trying to pass her projection and slander as the truth.
600k isn't a first world problem, it's a 0.1% problem
For real 🤣 I think I do pretty well for myself and it'd take me about 5 years to make that.
A partner who straight up tells you they'll cheat then gaslights you about it isn't a first world problem, it's just a problem.
I don’t think he was referring to his promotion as the first world problem but that his gf can’t handle him being gone for a long time. However I can be wrong.
I think the situation is largely missunderstood. OP already had enough money to live a comfortable life and his gf didn't want him to be away for that long. Her saying she'd cheat might be less of a prophecy than a dare for him not to go.
Definitely, but that doesn't make OP an asshole for breaking up with his ex.
Real classy move -- say you're going to cheat on someone, then say you never really meant that after they broke up with you. Sorry, GF, you made your bed, now you're going to lie down on it. OP showed you the door; move out before he kicks you out.
Story 4: There should be legal recourse for this. At the very least a restraining order is called for.
Aaaaaarrrgh this girl. I'm punching air. A man with vision and you're that bold faced to try THAT?!
first story:
hey, op, if youre looking for a reliable, faithfull partner... im right here, i mean im a straight guy but im great at cuddling... so ... hit me up?
jokes aside that story is hilarious
=][=
Love that family harmony is never a problem for those ruining the harmony but for the victims of them
Story 3:He's the one that ruined his own life with his own hands,literally
NTA at all
Story 1: GF gave OP a priceless gift. He should send her a 5000 dollar cake as a thank you.
I don't see how threatening to cheat and then throwing a fit when you're told no is a 'priceless gift'. Or why it needs rewarding.
I was thinking more along the line of some nice mints seeing as how she’ll need a palate cleanser after putting her foot in her mouth.
@@dominickeijzer5844He's implying that OP is fortunate enough to know what kind of women his girlfriend is NOW rather than later. Saves a lot of headache and heartbreak later.
@@dominickeijzer5844 the "priceless gift" is that she revealed that she wasn't going to be faithful before the relationship got more serious
Story 6 - "You embarrassed us by getting us kicked out of the delivery room!" *proceeds to post pictures of her delivery all over social media*
rslash has basically read the 2nd story before, same seats, honeymoon, etc but from the wife’s perspective.
Sandra is amazing. You read so many stories on here where the mum supports their abusive son/daughter or excuses the awful behavior they expose their spouse and children to. It’s women like Sandra who make the most awesome mothers. I liked how she gave her son options and he chose to do nothing and she cut him off. If anyone is to blame for his family cutting him off, it’s him.
Story 2:OP's seat,OP's decision,NTA
Entitled people stink
Every time I hear one of these stories I think about that TikTok where a woman screams, “ Eff that woman and eff her kids”.
And no one should give away something they’ve paid extra for. Not everyone cares that you’re on your honeymoon, are pregnant, want to sit by your kids, etc
I woulda given the parents 4/5. They crossed a health, respected boundary; they posted photos and information about a child without the consent of the parents, AND not only are they unapologetic, I bet they told the paternal side of the family OP did give permission but then backed out.
I had no idea about the C-section thing, so new fear unlocked, but even with that, I’m mad they caused their DIL so much added stress during the most stressful and painful experience a woman can go through that she could follow her original birth plan. These in-laws SUCK!!! 🤬🤬🤬
That first story, I really think the woman just wanted him and the money didn't matter to her. Especially since he was making a TON of money already. No more sacrifice was needed. I think she was trying to scare him into not going and it backfired on her. Not a good move, but I don't think it came from wanting to cheat.
Yeah honestly those are my thoughts too. I also think she may have felt her feelings were being invalidated because he wouldn't listen to her about not wanting him to go so she tried to scare him. Obviously it didn't end well. I'd like to hear her side of the story. Something about this story seems a little fishy and I don't fully trust OP.
Yeah idk how we're in the minority on this one. I got the same vibes from that one
@@l.tc.5032 … I’m sorry but how else are you suppose to take “I’m not going to go months without sex”. She is basically saying that she will cheat if you’re not around. Even if she was trying to say she didn’t care about the money and just wanted him, that is an absolutely idiotic and awful way to phrase it.
I have no sympathy for this girl, she’s the one that torpedoed the relationship, not the man. When someone tells you who they are believe them. I mean, if your girlfriend/boyfriend told you this, would you be willing to take that gamble to see if they’d be faithful when they basically admitted they wouldn’t be?
She had an extremely short sighted view though, he’d never have to go away for work again after a couple years and they would be set for life with the right investments, a couple years of sacrifice for the rest of your life to be paradise seems like an incredible deal. Unless she wants him gone for a month at a time for the foreseeable future…
Ik for myself I'd never threaten to cheat but I'd be absolutely heart broken if my boyfriend didn't care that I prefer him over money, especially if they were doing fine prior. Like yeah you can go do it ill be here depressed as 💩 alone ig. But threatening to cheat is disgusting and she should have thought about what consequences it'd have and how that would make him feel.
I will never understand why friends of family and extended family would call someone to complain about something they did or didn't do to someone else. It's completely insane behavior to me.
Wait they came into her delivery room uninvited she had them kicked out, but they have forgiven her for embarrassing them? so she should forgive them for barging inr ? Um no, that's not at all how anything works.
For 650k, he can be gone for a year, have a side piece, and Ill still be at home cooking and cleaning for him with a big ass smile on my face.
Girl, you're insane.
Or she prefers her love to her wallet
*First OP:* OP's ex is a _doofus!_ How are you going to fumble the bag like that?! OP did the right thing breaking up with her. OP is NTA.
OP, if you're reading this and you're looking for someone, I wouldn't mind if you left months at a time. In fact, my introverted self would appreciate it; just sayin'.
*Second OP:* OP made a good point. Why didn't the husband join his wife in economy? Or have her sit in premium? I hope OP asked his wife if she'd do "the nice thing" if she were in his situation. OP is NTA.
*Third OP:* I'm just glad Sandra is on OP's side. If her ex expressed he would unalive himself, then OP or Sandra need to call 911. OP is NTA.
Nah, the ex deserves the full 5/5.
*Fourth OP:* And that's why you don't bite the hand that feeds you. OP is NTA.
*Fifth OP:* How was _any_ of that allowed?! Also, OP had to get a C-section because of them? I'd be throwing hands idc. OP's in-laws don't need to be anywhere near Lily, or OP for that matter. OP is NTA.
*Sixth OP:* I'm trying to figure out why the mom presumably singled out OP (unless he's the only one not wearing clothes). I wonder if it's because of body shaming from the mom? IDK. Either way, OP is NTA.
12:00 that's incorrect rSlash. Vaginal delivery after having a C-section is called VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). The success rate is 60-80% if they have never had a vaginal birth, and 85-95% if they have previous had a vaginal birth. My mother had two VBACs and my wife had a VBAC.
Story 1: I mean I understand being unhappy about your partner being gone for that long. But if so you just break up or find a solution instead of threatening to cheat. It's just immature and if you can't handle being in a relationship like that then you shouldn't be.
I mean, look, I can see the GF's side as well in story #1. Sometimes it's just not about the money. A person has needs, and might not be fit for long-distance.
Also, as another comment pointed out, there was no chance for compromise, like regular visits or something?
That being said, the whole "I might cheat on you, if you go" schtick sealed the deal for me.
NTA
What kind of honeymoon trip is that guy having sitting seperately from his wife lol
Dude as someone who has very low social need, a partner who isn't constantly around but also making bank is a dream for me
Clearing up R/slash’s misinformation. As long as your c-section was preformed with a horizontal incision, you can have vaginal deliveries with future pregnancies. If it was a vertical incision, then yes, all future babies will have to be born surgically. Sorry, but I needed to make sure that was corrected, lol.
Story 1 - At least she was honest. You should thank her!
Honest and dumb. I would be faithful to him and I am a man.
Story 5. This is anecdotal, but I have a friend who had to have a c section for her first baby but was able to give birth naturally for her second and third so it's not necessarily true about having to get c sections in the future.
The inlaws story; 3.5 too harsh? Nope, you're indeed too soft. They endangered both mother and child. It's called an EMERGENCY procedure for a reason.
@@1972LittleC kind of surprised he was kind of light with the score.
in the In Law problems story the hospital could be in trouble for allowing the in laws in. I know in the USA this is actually a HIPPA violation for letting them know what room they're in without express permission. The Hospital deserves not only an AHole score but a lawsuit served to them.
100% agree. What lie could have been told in order to enter a locked ward without permission?! The hospitals I worked at had those wards locked down and when you came to visit you had to give your name and who you were there to visit, the person goes and asks the patient if they can come in (if they weren’t on the list), then you get buzzed in. If you weren’t allowed in and didn’t leave immediately, security is called.
No kidding. Even in hotels, we can't give out certain info to random callers asking for a person's room number or to be transferred, and some places even require an ID to get room keys when they're lost or forgotten. Hospitals should be much stricter.
The guilt OP feels in the abuse story is a common side affect of abuse. She should bring it up to her therapist to work through, because part of her is still working through knowing she didn't deserve the abuse and she didn't do anything to deserve what her partner did to her.
Yes, exactly! 👍 She’s had her radar so abused, she doesn’t know up from down any more, poor thing. Therapy could help that.
1:39 yo how stupid can some be for she won the jackpot she legit could cruise through life and she jsut had to chill for a couple months
My little one is 4 months, there was no room for negotiation during the delivery, what she wanted was law no matter how much whining was done, some people think they get rights over a baby just because they're related, nope if you're in their life that is a privilege not a right that we can and will take away without remorse if you mess up.
I need to give a correction on the C-section story. Once you have a C-section it is possible to have a natural birth I know this because I was a C-section and my younger sister was a natural birth. It is rare from what I've looked into but it does happen my sister is living proof.
Same with me and my older brother
That last one is like when people brought their pre-teen children to watch the Deadpool movies (at least, the first two movies when I saw them did. Haven't seen 3 yet). It explicitly says rated 18+; what, did they think "months"?
I imagine that in the first story, GF's strategy was "If I threaten him, he'll stay". A stupid strategy, but a strategy nonetheless.
Also with a 640k a-year salary she could have visited him every month, but noooooo lol.
I don't think you can go visit the gas station
Hey just a heads up, as a woman who has had a c section, you can still try for natural labor so long as the c wasn't to traumatic (ie planned and/or clean cuts). Just don't want anyone considering or scared of c sections to have any unnecessary stress. True your chance of pushing are reduced, but not gone.
Truth story: NTA, OP. You didn’t tear his family apart, HE did!
In-Laws story: NTA. They need to learn that actions like what they did have *gasp* consequences!
Story 5: I would make them regret getting the family involved. Tell every single person that tried to berate me that because of them they have to wait even longer to see your child. Let your husband know about all the harassment and tell him that you do not want to see any of those people for the seeable future and if they keep calling, it will be permanent. I know it’s hard on your husband because that’s his family, but his family just gave birth to his child. The two of you come first no matter what.
Also, where does the family get off thinking this is their place? I certainly don’t stick my nose into every family argument. And I have never had a family member stick their noses in mine. A few times someone has asked if I’m okay or needed to talk but never told me what to do. Also, if they truly think the in-laws should see the baby I would be there helping OP out as much as possible (if OP allowed it) and making sure she was recovering well from the stress because adding to her stress is going to make her less likely to forgive (if she ever decides to, she has every right to never do so). God, forgiveness is not a right, it’s a privilege that not everyone gets or deserves.
"do the nice thing and trade the seat" it's a luxury flight upgrade, not a kidney.
First story: NTA. You don't treaten with cheating just to get your way. I say take the job and dump the girlfriend, surely you can find the right girl on your travels, OP.
3rd Story: Hes suddenly suicidal that hes being punished?! Bullshit
He's just going by the playbook: Deny, attack, REVERSE VICTIM AND OFFENDER!
@@YourXavier classic abuser behavior
For that last one, they would probably have a pretty solid case to go after the parents for punitive damages. I'm not sure on the legality of it, but by obtaining access to a hospital under false pretenses they were at least trespassing. Their disruption directly caused the condition that required the C-section. They ought to not only pay that bill, but all follow-up treatments as well. And it probably has the added benefit of alienating them for life so you never have to deal with them again, unless the law is involved.
Fuck, if my SO was going to get a job that makes that kind of money and I'd have some time off for 4 months to myself (and potentially a dog). Sign me up baby! Fly me to visit, let's go. Travel, a dog, and time to myself for my hobbies. The idea is exciting.
What if there was a 25% chance, 1 in 4... That he'd die?
Or if he was spending a significant amount of time with attractive women during those four months?
I'm pretty sure she can't visit most oil rigs. It's not a tourist spot.
Delivery story: “too harsh??” I was going to give them 4.5/5, Karen and Bob are invasive idiots in this scenario. Poor OP…
Story 1:Some people are just beyond human understanding,Man
NTA at all
Unless you have a vertical incision, you typically don’t HAVE to have another c-section, although at least when I had mine 20 years ago, they recommended you wait at least nine months before getting pregnant if you want to attempt a VBAC. I believe the more c-sections you have, the higher the risk of rupture. Definitely talk it over with your doc, though.
11:14 how do so many of these people have friends/extended family that are just so infuriatingly stupid and insensitive? Like there's just so many people who go, "yea they broke in took pictures of you while youre naked pushing out a baby and caused you to need an emergency c-section.......... BUUUUUUUUT you're an asshole for denying them the right to see YOUR child even though they have 0 respect for you as a person"
Also, at 11:29: "If they were *kind* enough to forgive OP after she threw a hissy fit"? Pardon?? The in-laws that broke into her room deserve 5 out of 5, while the 2 sisters should be given the 3.5 out of 5 if anyone.
Honestly, I feel like the husbands parents from the birth story should have gotten a higher rating, cuz they made any future plans riskier just because they were selfish
Story 5: I think you went light, rSlash. 4.5 minimum, because they could have killed the baby, and did permanent physical damage to the OP. Husband also deserves an AH score for not physically removing his parents from the area. She should get a divorce.
@@TheEDFLegacy why? He tried to get them out the room but with his wife giving birth at the same I’m sure it was stressful having that all happen at once, I’m sure his focus was being there right next to wife. The wife said in the story he tried to get them out and at the end of the story he stood by and sided with her. You can’t choose what type of people your parents are unfortunately.
The OP whose MIL/FIL bursted into the delivery room should look into SUING THEM! I'm sure the C-section cost more than the labor they were doing, as well as the damage to future deliveries, all of which can have a coat assigned to them! Not to mention the indecent photos taken in a private space of Op durong a MEDICAL procedure, which i bet didnt censor private medical information, medical information about the newborn witgout consent, & all the slander being told about OP that damaged her reputation, which in a small town could have been significant! That's not even counting emotional damage!
How can OP misunderstand if his GF says she is going to cheat on him?!?!?
YES! Like why are people defending this girl? SHE JUST ADMITTED SHE WOULD CHEAT IF YOU WEREN’T AROUND!
“Oh maybe she just worded things badly”
*FACEPALM*
People like this will refuse to see the parade of red flags and then wonder why they got screwed over.
@@lightninghawk1014, People defending her would flunk out of golddigger school. They're stupid and sloppy.
@@lightninghawk1014 And besides, there are just some things you should never threaten to do.
Small correction: Not all births following a c-section HAVE to be more c-sections. It used to be the case but it is not anymore. Multiple factors play at it - the scar tissue itself, medical history, reason for first c-section & the type of incision made.
Story 1 : NTA.. misery loves company.. the ex didn't want op to better himself so op did bye dumping it..
Story 2 : NTA.. I hate entitled people so much.. " but but we're married but I'm pregnant but" but nothing..
Story 3 : NTA... never ever hide abuse ever.. op you did the right thing..
Story 4 : NTA.. " you're not my dad unless it's convenient for me "...
Story 5 : NTA.. its you're kid so the only decision that matters is yours and your husband op.. just remeber " keeping the peace" never works out well...op time to get a restraining order vs them.. why is op even taking these calls does she know how the block button works ?? Nahhh rslash you're being to nice the in-laws get 4.5 out of 5 a holes being entitled Karen's who think the world revolves around them and when it was proven that it didn't they become 2 10 year olds
Story 6 : NTA..who brings kids to an adult hot springs ?? Entitled people are bullies so op only returned the energy she was given .. the Karen gets 3 out of 5 a hole for thinking she can boss anyone around and the other B word that op was talking to gets 3 out of 5 as well for not being ok with op defending herself from the intrusive karen...
The DV story. So he would rather end his life than go to anger management classes? What is there to feel bad about? He thinks he’s justified in abusing her
"If you leave for months, I will spend the nights with someone else."
"Okay, bye!"
"But... No, I didn't mean cheating!"
And what did you mean, darling? It's not like your words had a second meaning or something. Or, perhaps you tried to gaslight the guy, huh? Come on.
To add to the story of the hotspring as a question.. does it have family hours where you cannot walk around nude? If yes.. then Karen is a 3/5.
Re: StepKids - How old are they? An 18-year old adult and a 32 year-old adult are completely different people.
He says their ages in the story 7:08
21,22 and 25.
He said they were 21 to 25. Youngest in school. Other two employed. And the older ones have supposedly been saving money to afford to move out. So if they knew the house was on the market, I'm not sure why they were up in arms when it sold. Did they think he was gonna split the money with them? $10K each, especially after they acted like jackasses, was very generous.😆😆😆 This was definitely a FAFO situation for the 'kids'.
@@nekoloons4844 Yup, and only the 21YO was in school at the time while the other two had jobs.
Personally, I don't believe grandparents have rights over a grandchild
Honestly, Dabney, I do say you're wrong about the childbirth thing... But in the _opposite_ direction.
The parents lied to medical staff to enter, and they whipped out her phone while effectively bottomless to record her! While she didn't say that they tried recording the actual birth itself, the sheer fact that her vagina was exposed, and they had the potential to, is disgusting, potentially creepy.
@@AmEv7fam honestly surprised he was kind of light when it came to the final score.
The guy wanting to swap seats was probably lying. They've likely pulled that before. The crazy in-laws that caused her to have a c section should be sued. The hospital too. They should have checked if they were allowed to be there. They're nuts enough to go full no contact. They put her and her baby's life in danger. They caused op to go through unnecessary surgery and have a big scar. The fact they don't care and are still being nasty is unforgettable. Keep them away from your daughter.
That C section thing isn't entirely true. Yes some doctors refuse to do a natural birth. My sister just delivered her 2nd baby naturally after having her first kid as a c section+
My mom is demanding and just bursts through doors she wants to, so I knew her being in the birthing room was gonna be a problem. Thankfully, she was two states away, and God was looking out for me. He made TWO cars break down on her, and she had to get my aunt to bring her. She got there just after I had the baby. 😂
What if OP1 got sick?
I've known people who spend a LOT longer than 8 months in hospital.
First One: Yeah, I'd take the money rather than the girlfriend threatening to cheat. OP can definitely do better!
Last Story: Actually, a more accurate comparison would be going to a "clothing optional" beach and telling everyone to get dressed because your kids are there! I swear that was a gag in an episode of Bob's Burgers~ xP
You dont always have to have only c-sections after the first one. I was a c-section baby, and my mom went on to have 4 more natural births afterward. It just increases your chances for more c-sections in the future.
Same. My older brother was a C-section and me and my younger brother are natural births
@@leeanajennae Women's health provider, with a high percentage of VBAC patients, here: VBAC is only possible with certain incision sites and several other variables. It's not a guarantee that someone can have a VBAC or natural birth after. Certain incision types used in an emergency make it extremely dangerous to even attempt, as there is a far higher chance of rupture.
Fifth story: NTA. Why give them a chance? They acted like buttholes. Also, THEY forgive YOU?! What OP did wrong to begin with? Nothing. I say is time to go no contact and force the husband into that plan since it seems he wants to take his parents' side.
@@franciscojaviermendezrinco1902 she said he sided with her but was torn about it. Just cutting contact with your parents isn’t as easy or simple as putting on shoes.
There are SOME cases where you can have a natural birth after a c-section but i dont think its common. Those inlaws are fucking horrible
Story 2: NTA. They'd have laughed for the rest of their lives at the sucker who handed over his seat.