My cheating wife announced she was 5 weeks pregnant after I returned from a 2-month work trip. th...
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 มิ.ย. 2024
- 00:00 1st story:
AITAH because I call my Psycho Ex's unrelated child my 'Naughter'? (NosferaTouffe in r/AITAH)
14:00 2nd story:
I took my sixteen year old golden child sister to court because she destroyed my life... (nicfanz in r/AmITheAngel)
20:15 3rd story:
AITJ for telling my sister gentle parenting is BS and kicking her and her family out of my house (Logical_Newspaper981 in r/AmITheJerk)
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Gameplay by @ninakori
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when a story teller tells you over a dozen times that they can’t get a court order then a bunch of Redditors who don’t read or understand how the law works keeps saying “get a court ordered paternity!!” like, c’mon
second only to "I've been in therapy for 6 months" redditor reply "have you tried therapy"
Even lawyers respond with "am a lawyer, not your lawyer" and acknowledge local laws differ and vary sometimes wildly between jurisdictions.
The real victim is the girl whose been lied to her entire life. The ex was unhinged and clearly trying to baby trap OP, and failed. If paternity shows OP isn't the dad, that's either gonna lead to a conspiracy about fake DNA results, or the girl will spiral questioning where she came from. Doubtful the ex will ever admit who the girl's real dad is.
If OP is shown to be the dad, yes, he missed out on over a decade of building a relationship, but that falls back to, if the ex knew beyond all doubt he was the father, she'd have taken the girl for a paternity test immediately and then been able to shout on public corners what a deadbeat OP was. But she refused anything that could equally prove she was a fraud and liar.
In fairness, in most jurisdictions, there are ways to compel a paternity test in such circumstances, but laws are not universal. So some of those people may have been speaking from experience, but falsely assuming that their experience applied to OP as well, when obviously, it does not.
And it's very likely OP does actually have legal recourse to compel a paternity test, but that doesn't mean it's always in his best interest to do so. There could simply be significant, costly or potentially self-injurious hurdles to that in his jurisdiction. What those redditors need to remember is that laws are established to serve the needs of society en masse, not the individual. Sometimes the individual is just fucked, lol.
OP is a military man, and as one commentor pointed out, I think his ex is using her child as a means to dip into his pension and benefits. Protracted litigation is NEVER good for service members. There might be a viable resolution for most people, but if it takes a year to settle and he is unable to be deployed in that time, the damage to his career and advancement prospects could far outweigh the benefits of going through that process.
And honestly, the kid might still actually be his. He was on assignment for 8 weeks, she was 5 weeks pregnant. But conception date estimates can easily be +/- 3 weeks, it's not an exact science. Unless she was counting precisely from her last period, depending on when that was, he's still in the range where it's plausible. But of course, that doesn't explain her refusal of a paternity test. "It's insulting...", well, he already asked, so that ship has sailed, lol. And the results would be confidential, and he's already saying he's not the father to anyone who will listen, so there's nothing to be gained by denying the test, it saves neither pride or reputation. I think his ex doesn't actually know who the father is at all. The townies around military bases are notorious for indulging in a diverse smorgasbord of cock, lol. She has no clue who the father is, but I'm betting if a pension is on the line, as OP implied, she knew even then he was a career man and picking him as the daddy came with better benefits than her other suitors.
There's also the potential she does know who the father is and is protecting that guy. If OP is a career man, he likely has rank. What if the father was one of his subordinates, or friends, or higher than him in command?
Or maybe the real father is slipping her money under the table for support, and she's trying to double-dip? There are a lot of reasons she would stone-wall a paternity test, and since he's not legally recognized as the father, he has limited options, and she knows how to work the system.
You can get a cease and desist order that would stop her through defamation and slander lawsuit
Even commentators on here saying, you have a legal reason for a court order lol. The guy spoke with several local lawyers. Damn.
If only this woman put half as much effort into finding her actual daughter's father.
Pretty sure she knew who the father is.
She knows who it is, but he does not have money.
She knows
That is a fake story about the computer
He the dad, he can get a test done he tell a lie if he think the child could be his he can go to family court
Story 1: she cheated on Op and got pregnant is bad, but the fact she tried to make Op the father but won’t do a test to try to prove Ops the father is downright wrong.
It might be wrong, but that's what happens now often than not
The downvoted comment in the first post has so many leaps and back breaking bends in logic that it hurts to listen
No matter how the story is told or how cut and dry it is to see how bad the woman is there is always at least one person on reddit who's going to twist the story in her favor.
Oh thank God I thought I was having a stroke there
100% agreed. It was definitely written by a professional victim.
Not even evil kenevil could make those leaps
I am 100% sure that the friend who was the only one who was not in ops side and refused to budge and change his opinion by and said that charity couldn't be used as a legal cudgel like that was the true father and affair partner of ops cheating ex
Story 2: big props to dad for having his sons back and putting those two in their place.
Story 3: those kids are gonna fuck up big time some day, and mom and dad won’t be able to “talk out their feelings”, then those kids will resent them for not getting away with it.
Story one is a great example of never take law advice from Reddit because redditors think if they use one Google search their armchair lawyer or you tell them about your psychological problems there an armchair psychologist
I came here to say the exact same thing. The problem with Redditors is that they tend to think about things from an emotional POV. It's just so obvious that so many of these people don't live in the real world.
@@SnowyWolborg
the two things Twitter and Reddit got in common is that the ppl that use them almost never gat information right and they get hyperly emotional over every topic
Story 1: That woman must be insane to keep this going this long. It is sad that the children got involved with this mess.
The guy is wrong. When u have a test done, it doesn't work for 5 weeks u wouldn't be able to tell after 8 week he the dad It is a military. He can get a blood test done. He just don't want to be the father. You don't want to pay back child support? He's a dead beat. When you're pregnant, they go. By the last period you only find out how many weeks you are. When you have a ultrasound, you can't find out if
Some ladies, they have their period 4 months pregnant.
The guy's telling a lie, "You can always ask for a paternity test."
The state wants that child support the was made from a AL story
S3: that isn’t gentle parenting, it is lazy permissive parenting.
ETA: looks like she brings it up later lol.
I have watched the products of this yakkety yak method of trying to grow up their trophies. It doesn't work.
@@develyntwocentshenderson5739 You really haven't. I've seen it in action done properly cuz it's how me and my sister were raised. Honestly, it's not all that different what most people think of as parenting it's just got a slightly different mindset. The goal is encourage the behavior you want rather than stop the behavior you don't. Teaching kids to use their inside voices rather than yelling at them to be quiet. When done right there are absolutely still consequences, but the consequences are designed to promote the behavior you want. Toys need to be picked up? Challenge the kids to a race to see who can pick up the most toys. Kids are running around and being too noisy after you've asked them to calm down and use their inside voices? Time for a time out to sit in the corner and settle down a bit. Every kid is different so methods will vary, but that's the basic idea.
It does also involve talking to your kids about why they behaved the way they did so you can understand their feelings and then talk about what they should do the next time they feel that way. It's really effective at teaching kids to regulate their emotions as they get older and punishments don't feel arbitrary which promotes trust between parent and child so when you tell them something they're more inclined to listen. However it is super hard. It requires a lot of time, a crap ton of patience, and good judgement on what consequence is appropriate for the particular behavior you're trying to correct. This is why a lot of parent's are failing at this method.
The mother in this story failed in every way.
@@SapphWolf Thank you! It is so easy tro just yell or hit a kid or talk about PUNISHMENT, PUNISHMENT. Punishment is NEVER as effective as putting the time and energy into doing as this above commenter says, and it has to be consistently done every single time, but the payoffs are far better.
When you hit a kid you have lost control, period, and it is bullying in the first degree. Hit someone smaller and with no power to get your way, even if that way if to just stop bad behavior. I don't even like that word, punishment. You know that old saying, "you win more flies with sugar than vinegar". It's an old saying because it's true. Even if I don't want to when any flies, it's the metaphor that counts.
@@SapphWolf agreed, also had parents who were mostly gentle parents, especially for boomers. My parents did use spanking, but legit 3-5 times my entire life.
@@ImmerGenau2624 My mom was very against spanking because she used to be spanked as a kid and she never felt like it ever taught her anything other than to not get caught. However, when they would do something like send her to her room or make her sit in a corner instead, her mom would sit her down before they would start and talk to her about *why* her actions were hurtful and why they needed to had consequences. Then she'd spend the whole time having to think about what her mom said and she almost never repeated the behavior a second time.
My mom's family had 10 kids total. All of them got spanked. None of them spanked their own kids so I'm pretty sure they all had a similar sentiments.
That last story in 20 years why did my kids go to prison? Because you didn't teach them consequences duh.
How did this comment make you feel
S1: the not-daughter approaches the 9 year old son at the zoo and says she's his big sister?!?? This is a method used by child trafficking rings. This is disturbing as all hell. That girl needs to be taken far away from her mother and OP, and given A LOT of therapy in a facility.
You, uh, you got evidence on that assertion chief?
@@classicrockkid345 I watch enough crime dramas and dateline. People who have been kidnapped and trafficked have said this was how they remembered being taken away. The person or people who took them claimed to be family or they claimed to know their family and were asked to pick them up. It's not just traffickers, just people wanting to kidnap kids in general. It's why many schools have such strict pick up rules.
story 2 "spawn point" made my day, I needed that giggle
Gentle parenting only works around the 5-year mark. After that you need to be very patient with your kid and sometimes do timeout. Because timeout is not a violent nor aggressive way to teach your kids how to behave.
All that I hear is that she wants to be as lazy as possible
What she was doing wasn't gentle parenting, it was permissive parenting.
Exactly. There are actual punishments in gentle parenting. I do what is considered gentle parenting now but even I do punishments where they are warranted. My boys know how to behave and what is crossing the line.
"If you keep stealing and destroying my stuff there will be consequences."
"Okay, bet."
"Okay, so I just won $13k off you, are those consequences enough for you to understand?"
Good on OP and his dad, sure hope they both got away from OP's mom and sister.
That's not gentle parenting, that's negligent parenting. It's a lack of parenting. Gentle parenting involves -rather than punishing kids- teaching them the consequences of their actions; eg if a toddler spills something they clean up after themselves, or if they draw on the walls, they clean up the walls themselves. They learn that walls are not supposedto be drawn on and the consequence is they have to clean them if they draw on them. There's still a punishment but it's directly correlated to rhe crime... It is a direct consequence of their actions. What the mom in the third story is doing is not parenting at all.
Thank you! I was just about to comment this and then I saw yours
I was about to say this. Gentle parenting doesn't mean being a door mat and letting your own kids walk all over you. there's still discipline in the form of stern-talking-to, etc.
YEAH
this is just permissive parenting.
Ur right, parenting is usually redirecting the behavior and giving a consequence actually relative to the crime
Op still doesn’t seem understand the difference though
@@kumakiel8850 well it doesn't matter does it
The problem with ‘gentle parenting’ is that small children have almost no critical thinking skills. So asking them how they feel and redirecting with no punishment is doomed to failure.
The problem is, that a lot of people do it wrong (like in this story) and it gives gentle parenting a bad rap. Kid drew on the wall? They clean it up, it's a natural consequence to their actions. You don't yell and scream and give a 4 week grounding of everything because they did it, you talk to them about why it's wrong and make them clean it up.
@@catlady9123 I was specifically addressing the parenting in this version of gentle parenting. However, I also don’t agree with tiny punishments for doing wrong things. Cleaning the wall would be a great teaching tool… if what they drew can actually get cleaned off. Many times kids will do things that can’t simply be cleaned up. You don’t have to scream at them and excessively punish them. That’s as bad as too little punishment. But the punishment should be measured against what they did and the damage that occurred.
What catlady said. My boys put a hole in the wall once. They had to help do the patch. They have chores around the house even. Some nights it means no desserts because they didn't listen. Sometimes the consequences deliver themselves. Don't want to listen to mom and dad about not running on the slippery tile floor? Sorry you fell, glad you're okay but I bet it hurt enough to fall that you won't do it again.
You realise kids eventually grow into adults, though? Gentle parenting is built largely on preparing kids to be well rounded, emotionally stable adults capable of indepent thinking; natural consequences do that well because it's the exact same as they grow. Kid makes a mess, they have to clean it up, just as an adult would have to if they made a mess. They truly learn and internalise that their actions have consequences. 'Punishments' on the other hand are a short term answer for the long term act of raising a child, because they just aren't something that transfers well to adult life. All they teach is that the child's actions will result in consequences being levied against them by an outside force, and what happens when that outside force is no longer there? How many people do you know with strict parents who went off the deep end the second they were out from their parents' control, as a comparison?
@@CoRLex-jh5vx In my opinion, neither corporal punishment nor gentle parenting is the way to go. There should be a healthy fear of consequences. This doesn’t mean you have to beat your kids, or even spank them. But a consequence that’s meaningful to them is often appropriate. Losing privileges, etc. I’m going to reiterate that it’s not always (or even usually) as easy as “kid makes mess, kid cleans mess”. If that was the long and short of parenting, we’d have no need of family therapy and few bad parents, because that’s easy. But often kids destroy things. Sometimes there’s hitting involved. All manner of bad behaviors.
I’m fairly sensitive to physical abuse of children, because I was beaten regularly as a child and young teen. It only stopped when I finally got big enough to defend myself. My mother hit me in the face so many times, I couldn’t even begin to count. I’m not arguing for that kind of parenting at all. But a stern talk often fails to make any noticeable change. Punishments are necessary.
All I'm picturing for the 3rd story is that the passive parents are Ned Flander's parents when they say "We've tried nothing and we're all out of ideas."
there comes a point where 'emma's' are no longer brainwashed but willing participants.
Sister doesn't have a clue what gentle parenting is... She's actually trying to fix her own childhood trauma by giving them the "freedom & support" she feels she needed as a child.
There is all kinds of discipline, just have to find the one to suit your child. I got some good advice from a few friends who had great kids. All of them advised not letting them get away with anything in those early years. Now we had a couple years where he was on restriction alot, but after that when he had rules down he was rarely in trouble the rest of his childhood. We used restriction on a favorite toy, time outs didnt work well and I really didnt ever want to hit or spank him because I didnt want to teach him to be physically violent when mad or upset.
Gentle parenting doesnt mean no consequences. It means prioritizing learning respect for yourself and others. My parents never once punished or rewarded me with anything physical. If i did something bad they explained to me what i did wrong, why it was hurtful, and why i shouldn't do it. If i did something good, they told me they loved me and were proud of me. When i carved up my dresser with a knife there were reasonable and immediate consequences, that helped me learn to respect my own and other peoples property. You should not beat kids, but never giving any consequences or discipline is just as bad. Treat your kids with respect, teach them to be respectful, kind, and thoughtful, and youll never need to deal with this
It's always sad to see people manipulating children to get revenge on their significant other.
For the last story, thats not gentle parenting thats no parenting. I dont get why people keep confusing the two. Gentle parenting is just not physically and mentally abusing your child and giving them reasonable consequences and guidance, the bar is literally on the floor and people still keep jumping in other directions.
LASTSTORY
THERE SHOULD B
SOME SORT
OF DISAPLINE
SUCH AS THE
NAUGHTY STEP/TAKING
AWAY
PRIVLAGES
TO B USED
WITH THE
CHILDREN
IF THEY DON'T
BEHAVE RIGHT.
2.story: YOUR ASKING IF YOUR THE JERK? NAAAAH. U ARE AN ABSOLUTE LEGEND
Problem with courts, poor Emma
S3: Someone would have been going through a fucking wall
Bro was 2 month away and she was 5 weeks pregnant it's like 3 week difference There is no way it's his
Story 1: Why include the obvious troll controversial comment from the post?
Because of op's response to it
In my state you can literally request a DNA test. If you sign yourself for child support a test will be ordered
2nd story is some kids fantasy ending to a bad situation
Story 3 sounds like your average "gentle parenting" children.
Never seen some that weren't absolutely horrendous creatures.
The natural consequence of stealing a car IT'S BEING ARRESTED
Exactly
Listen I am not a parent and currently not planning to be
I’ve seen a few gentle parenting influences before , and simply that’s not it
From my understanding, gentle parenting is not finding the Children acting like that bc it may be because they’re frustrated are simply not aware that what they are doing is a bad thing
Like it’s good and dandy that you ask them about their feelings, but you also have to tell them that what they are doing is wrong
The first time I get it, they don’t know and whatever but not trying any discipline is a form of abuse
As the people in the post comments said this is not gentle parenting as gentle parenting DOES have consequences we just don't hit or yell at our kids and we encourage the good behavior we also sit down and talk to them so they know what they did wrong and why it's wrong then give an actual appropriate consequence basically the only difference is we don't make our own kids fear us or end up needing therapy because mommy and daddy gave them psychological damage
Story 1: If this is real, i feel like we are gonna get a story down the line from Emma saying " My deranged mother lied to me my whole life about my father, so i cut ties with her. Now she is begging to reconnect."
“Don’t EVER pull a dogs tail or their fur! That is TERRIBLE behavior!”
Boom! You’re done.
If they say another word say “go eff yourself with your “I refuse to parent my kids” parenting style.
Ok to look at what true gentle parenting is, look up pleasant peasant media. Gwena is the queen of gentle parenting but the thing is you are suppose to discipline your children as well.
People really don't know what gentle parenting is, they just don't parent I swear. Telling a kid to stop isn't discipline! Real parenting would be they leave entirely... after they clean everything up. You say "What feelings" THEN ALWAYS "What are we going to do next time? Whats going to happen if you dont?" Then you hold yourself and them to it. Eg drawing on the walls? what are you going to do next time? Cool and what happens if you don't? We don't get to come back to Aunties house anymore. And we leave right away.
And animal abuse? That is where you mimic real world consequences.
Natural consequences should include a time out after you were warned not to do something and did it anyway, that way kids understand fines and jail later in life anything short of that isn't gentle parenting it's permissive parenting.
Stern talking to and cleaning the mess is a rational thing to do. What other than that? It's the thing people face their whole life. It's taking responsibility.
Calling your mom a "spawn point" is hilarious
If it’s been 15 years since her birth you can ask her to do a DNA 🧬 test and the law could take her word
S2: it sounds like dad tried to be a firm hand in sister's life but her mom wouldn't let it happen. OP is definitely NTA because it sounds like mom doesn't care about him at all and would be fine if it was just her, husband, and daughter.
S3: gentle parenting is no parenting. you are not supposed to be their friend. you are their parent which means teaching them consequences for their actions. you can be their friend after they are adults but not before
Did you mean physical punishment by that ?
Maybe actually learn what gentle parenting is
I didn't grow up with either punishment or lax parenting. That's how my siblings raise their kids too, just set rules and boundaries when needed, tell them no when they do something wrong, etc. Kids learn.
First story. So there are two possibilities. Either his ex is good at basic counting, in which case it's a huge problem for the story that she made a basic problem with counting while telling him about the pregnancy. Or his ex is terrible at basic counting, in which case we can't trust her to have counted the number of weeks she was pregnant, particularly given that most women can't pinpoint a date of conception exactly and it's common for a woman to not even know she was pregnant within the first 6 weeks.
The OP's justification for suspecting his fiance was cheating is so incredibly weak that I have to wonder what else he's lying about. Couple that with him not being able to force a paternity test after consulting 'multiple' lawyers and the story is completely unbelievable. Far more likely the whole thing is made up to farm reddit karma.
Anyway if it's true, the move is to sue for financial damages pertaining to his legal costs for multiple TRO's. And then as part of his restitution request a genetic test. Given the age of the daughter it would be nonintrusive and so completely noncontroversial, nothing more onerous than a cheek swab.
Second story. What evidence? Glosses over the most important part of the story and wastes the court's time with unconfirmed anecdotes. And then wants us to believe the court awarded him damages. Which, even in UK law, would be the purview of a civil trial. But police officers are called for a criminal trial. Plus, since divorce wasn't mentioned, they essentially paid for lawyers, and his sister's fines.
This story was written by a child.
Third story was fine up until the, "My sister saw the post" contrivance. Seemed alot like a way to milk a few more posts and a few more up votes out of the posts.
OP should get a dna family history thing like 23&me, then offer one to the girlas a birthday present. That way, it can be done without courts involved. If they are related, it would show on the results, and it would be up to the kid herself.
Real-world consequences can happen in school. Kids can't hit another without consequences. Most likely, they'll be hit back or not being friends anymore.
Those who are gentle parenting their kids Q. Do you prepare your kiddos for how to handle social Interactions with classmates?
I don’t get what your last comment had to do with anything since that can be applied to any form of disciplinary parenting, considering that only goes into affect after the discipline
Story 1: I’m curious what state OP is in that won’t allow him to get a court order paternity test.
I think it may be a case of "Well she doesn't want money so sort it out yourselves" So buck passing of the highest degree a lot like when police claim an obvious crime is simply 'a civil matter'
He could get a court order for one
Final Story: Any given "style" of parenting will always have two things in common. Acknowledging a child's choice/actions, and implementing a consequence.
Consequence is mostly used in a negative context, but a consequence is merely the result of an action. Providing positive consequences for positive choices and actions is JUST as much of an important part of parenting as negative consequences for negative choices and actions.
Without a proper reaction to an action, it sets up a child to think that there will never be a reaction. This is why many of the kids raised by overly permissive/pushover parents end up in trouble with the law.
Redirecting and correcting negative choices and actions are IMPERATIVE to a child's moral development, as well as associating positive choices and actions with positive outcomes.
I feel bad for Emma. She thinks that’s her brother and tried to bond with him.
You technically don't need parental permission to get an over-the-counter DNA test have you ever met the girl he could just say hey do you want to try and take this test with me and see if I am your dad.
That comment talking about how the first op should have left her sooner...yyyyeqh... that was the mom of the affair baby
I think the ex in story 1 has two possible fathers for her daughter and has picked the one who is most financially stable. Op should hire a PI to tail the daughter of the ex to get a DNA sample from something she discards and then test it against his own DNA. That is, if he is CERTAIN that the girl isn't his.
The reality is that both Op and the ex do not know for sure who the father is, and Op doesn't really want to find out if he doesn't have to.
That 2nd story was cap. How did he prove that his sister destroyed his PC in a manmer that was sufficient for court?!
story 3: thats not gentle parenting. gentle parenting still has discipline... there are still consequences.. you can still confiscate someting important to them or force them to clean after themselves, yell at them a bit, etc.... THEN thats when you have the conversation. Then you ask them "You realize this isnt appropriate behavior, right? What happened to make you feel that this was the best way to go about doing it this way? Is there anything that either you or we as parents can do to make sure this doesnt happen again?" etc. Its all about managing your children and teaching them right from wrong and that actions have consequences; without abusing them.
In story 1 how in the he** is he the father? Gone for 2 months and she's 5 weeks along she needs to redo the math
"not being able to get a paternity" it is not difficult to get. Child support court will now mandate it.
Some AI posts are not very believable
Not necessarily, that may depend where u live, I took my ex to court for child support , custody etc and NO paternity test was ever done and he's NOT on the birth certificate. He asked me for a paternity test, I said sure but he had to pay for it ( around $350) he didn't bother and he never tried to get a court ordered test either because he knew he was the father , he was just mad I wouldn't take him back. Even though he's not on the birth certificate he still had to pay child support, oh and yes he definitely is the father, I'm not one of those scummy people that thinks it's ok to fool a man into providing for a child that isn't his, that's just foul.
I've seen several times what happens when gentle parenting fails. These children are getting mauled by the real world.
hey SV, love the content
❤️❤️❤️
Are we going to throw down over who ❤ the channel more? 😂
@@boneymeroney2674 lmaoooooo nah, you got good taste in yt brainrot tho lol
Are there any updates to the first story?
If you do it right, gentle parenting truly DOES work.
Cry to her spawnpoint 😂
Story 2 NTA but your sister is ridiculous there was also the big craze of attachment parenting, but one of the funniest as in ludicrous about it in the UK we have the programme ‘This Morning’ and about 10 years ago Peaches Geldoff was arguing how great it was for mother and child against Katie Hopkins yet the more recent comments were about how she wasn’t that great a parent as she lay dead with the two kids left alone after taking heroin for over 17 hours.
My heart seriously hurts for Emma; I predict that, Emma will be bounced from one foster home to another, when social services removes her from her mother Natalie, next, at 18, she'll stay with/marry a guy who not only cheats on her, but also abuses her (mentally/emotionally, verbally, physically), fall pregnant when her husband traps her, and stay with him because she doesn't want to keep him away from his flesh and blood, even if she ends up in the hospital, then, flee to another state, and stay at a women's shelter, get her GED certificate,
OP is the victim.
Im at 0.10 and before i want to continue with this: Dear anyone who doesn't know how pregnancy works, if you've been pregnant for five weeks than you absolutely could have had sex and been impregnated 2 months prior. The actual pregnancy doesn't start until your missed cycle so it could've been weeks before she even knew she was pregnant.
Im not saying shes being truthful, just that with that logic OP should have court ordered a test before leaving. Then again, no way she'd let him get off with no child support if she knew it was his.
Yeah he could have, but he missed the window because he wanted to stop the girl from harassing him. Plus, she never wanted to take the test. She wants him around, and for 15yrs she has basically just been harassing him. Never once decided to get a the Test Done. That's very telling.
I think the answer is simple, we do not know enough when they had sex and at what time in her period to be 100% that it was his child at 5 weeks, also we do not know if she is correct and it was 5 weeks. HOWEVER, by the ex being adamant and refusing the paternity test speaks volumes. If she has nothing to hide and knows 100% it is his child, just get paternity test and he will be the "fatherly figure" she claims she wants.
That’s not how that works. The 5 weeks is 5 weeks of gestation. Either way, the math ain’t mathing.
RE: "Gentle Parenting"
What a crock of shit, lol. Maybe it works with some kids, it probably does. But if there was one effective parenting style that worked universally, don't you think humanity would have figured it out thousands of years ago? No, it was just discovered recently by a mommy-blogger with a self-published book, what good fortune we have to be born in the exact age this discovery was made, lol.
There IS some legitimacy to some of those techniques, but it seems they're being egregiously misapplied and misunderstood.
First, kids do respond well to learning that negative actions have negative consequences. That's an essential life skill. A parent's whole job is to prepare their children to function in the world, and this is exactly how the world functions, whether you like it or not. Not preparing them for this reality is to fail as a parent.
Around the age of 11-12, most kids stop responding well to punitive actions. Punishments no longer work well, the kids just get better at not getting caught next time, lol. You do have to change your approach then.
Here's a good time for a "gentle" approach, after they have developed a sense of empathy and accountability (and not a moment before).
Take the classic scenario:
Your kid was bullying another kid in class, along with their friends.
Ask them why they did it... "I don't know" or "Because they started it" are NOT valid answers, the question is why they chose that specific action, out of all possible actions in that scenario. If they give you that answer, they're not ready for the "gentle" approach yet, bring on the punishment, lol.
If they're a little more self-aware (and they should be by that age), they might respond with "Because my friends were", indicating they just wanted validation from their friends.
Now you ask them if there are other ways they might get that validation without harming others. Make them answer, don't feed them the answers. And you come up with a plan based on that knowledge. Maybe it's as simple as making a point of complimenting their friends each day. That will make them even more liked than simply being a dick alongside their friends. So you set a goal, they need to give three people a compliment every day for 6 months. If they fail to comply or lie about doing it, then back to punishment because they're still too immature for a gentler approach.
It's not that you eliminate consequences. It's that rather than being purely punitive, you make the consequences directly address and remediate the underlying incentive for the bad behavior. It's not about making the "punishment fit the crime" so much as it is attacking the behavior, not the child. That takes some thought and creativity, and every kid will respond differently, so there's no "one-size-fits-all" approach. The principle is universal, the implementation is not.
Then there are "Natural Consequences". Slap the dog, but if the dog bites you, don't come crying to me, I hope you don't bleed out, but you wanted to fuck around and find out, and so you have.
You don't protect them from natural consequences. You can warn against it and explain your reasoning, but you don't fight their battles for them, and you don't fix their mistakes. Failure to foresee an outcome does not inherently make you innocent of wrongdoing, it doesn't make you a victim or worthy of sympathy. You should have been smarter. Spent this week's lunch money on a video game? Here's some white bread and tap water, I'll deduct it from next week's allowance.
You don't usually need to impose consequences, they happen by default in most situations. But they need to face those consequences all the same, and learn to make decisions with them in mind. That's the whole point.
Dude never took a paternity test is suspect to me.
I wish you wouldn’t post these multiple stories on one video that leave us hanging. So what the hell happened with the first story?
PC guy NTA
Crap! I hate this kind of story with no end. Rubbish!!
I don't usually start calling stories out as fake, because I watch these for the entertainment value, and the more outlandish the drama, the better, BUT the SECOND that OP in the 2nd story said he won the PS5 in a giveaway (from youtube, of all places!), I was taken out of the story by the sheer BS of it. 99.9% of youtube giveaways are just scams that no one has ever provably won. The idea that one of the few big giveaways that actually was real, happened to someone in an over-the-top reddit story? Just add in aliens and ninjas, at this point.
gentle parenting is stupid children need discipline
Gentle parenting includes discipline just not hitting or yelling
S3 I fucking hate how this person describes and views gentle parenting like research before forming opinions
A boy and a Canoe have a lot in common: both behave better when paddled from the rear.
Accountability in a woman? Nonexistent.
Nevermind, third story proved possibility.
Brains in a man? Nonexistent.
I know right?? We found a rare one at the end!
Women ☕
Gentle parenting is quite literally worse than being incredibly strict, somehow i was given the opportunity to redo my childhood as it happened or with gentle parenting, i would happily relive my traumatic childhood again.
The thing about being punished as a child is that it establishes a direct relationship between actions and consequences and when done right it nurtures accountability; since gentle parenting doesnt do that, it raises emotionally sensitive and therefore volatile kids that have no fear of consequences and lack of accountability.
Im all against this "fucking [insert generation here]" but while removing all stress and hardship from life sounds noble, if we actually keep on this path, we are going to reaxh a point in which due to lack of any real adversity and built up resistance to it, kids will become suicidal over disagreements or straight up cave in whenever anyone disagrees with them just to go with the flow because the part of the brain responsible for willpower that enables us to do things like get out of bed at 6am 5 days a week has never been stimulated and trained; if you've ever wondered why 2, 3 generations ago people were able to put up with far more difficult lives, it's specifically because that part of the brain was massively stimulated by constant hardship.
Assuming you were bored enough ti read through all that, im not all nefaruve the answer to that problem is simply to find a healthy amount and approach to adversity through life that keeps us sharp without beating people down in any way they cant gst back up and jump back into the fray😊
Most definitely not considering being incredibly straight, depending on how you feel that can simply mean being hit every time you do something slightly non-pleasurable yeah it works, but far more emotionally scarring far more than gentle parenting, which by all means due to the very definition means you could still grow up normally unless we are simply talking about different definitions I have to heavily disagree though. I am assuming we’re talking about different definition since I don’t see any correlation between what I’ve research and what you’re saying
It's overwhelmingly obvious you have no idea what you're talking about or even done any research on it
S3 .ooh let's do gentle policing...no punishment just ask what was their feelings and release...😂😅😂😅....without some form of punishment ...rules are just wishes...
Second story sounds fake asf by the age , job, and getting a house by that age
Day 200 of commenting to help secretvoices
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