7 Things Narcissists Fear The Most

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ก.ค. 2024
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    Often the most common emotion you experience from the narcissist is anger, with its accompanying agitation and irritability. But driving that anger is fear. Psychotherapist Dr. Les Carter explains how easily narcissists feel threatened by you and what fears trigger their anger. As you recognize their fears you can be freed to take separate, more healthy initiatives.
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ความคิดเห็น • 3.8K

  • @jacksonFluffy
    @jacksonFluffy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +132

    A narcissist demands respect yet does nothing to be respectful.

    • @jacquelinejones2676
      @jacquelinejones2676 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I got assaulted today right outside my apartment 😢😢😢

    • @sheilagunn2836
      @sheilagunn2836 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      omg!! that's so true!

    • @IANA2030
      @IANA2030 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Louder pls

    • @rppope1006
      @rppope1006 ปีที่แล้ว

      Sadly I gave my narc(mom) unearned respect and she still complained that "it's not the right kind of respect"

    • @dracodoitbest7890
      @dracodoitbest7890 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@jacquelinejones2676 dam and you just took that

  • @benbuda5857
    @benbuda5857 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1076

    They also fear someone who is confident and can think for themself.

    • @lauraJa777
      @lauraJa777 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      oh ya!

    • @Blueocean881
      @Blueocean881 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      The antidote.

    • @shawnbrunelle3527
      @shawnbrunelle3527 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@Blueocean881 YUP!

    • @alysencameron361
      @alysencameron361 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Ain't that the truth! All the energy and time they waste not learning about themselves.

    • @shawnbrunelle3527
      @shawnbrunelle3527 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      @@alysencameron361 I seriously just got yelled at for doing research and watching these videos, and the more she tried to throw me off the sent the more she ensnared herself. too much energy for sure!

  • @simonwalker7090
    @simonwalker7090 4 ปีที่แล้ว +902

    Another trait of a narcissist is that every conversation has to be about them.

    • @montanas4174
      @montanas4174 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      So true; but the signs were there just another one i missed before i ended up married to one; so much any longer can lead losing my mind.

    • @tonytingles4230
      @tonytingles4230 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Thats so annoying!!! My Nex was into fitness and all she would do is talk about her physique and her resting heart rate etc

    • @brandyleegambill3763
      @brandyleegambill3763 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      simon walker yes, my husband told me today... life needs to revolve around him for a change.

    • @len1045678
      @len1045678 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      And always think someone is jealous of them. They make u feel special and dicard you after

    • @ruebencristobal7790
      @ruebencristobal7790 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Sounds like modern day rappers

  • @luvwings
    @luvwings 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    They don’t give respect but they demand it

  • @littleredrose6254
    @littleredrose6254 3 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    "Keep your inner peace, even though that's not a person of peace that's in front of you." Wise words.

  • @SarahSmith-nr2wj
    @SarahSmith-nr2wj 4 ปีที่แล้ว +379

    It's because they are stuck developmentally at age 3. A person who is like this should not be given any power, they need a lot of therapy, but unfortunately they are not self aware enough to realise it.

    • @kenritch3941
      @kenritch3941 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That's what I think too........

    • @marymoen5728
      @marymoen5728 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Until they wreck an entire family.

    • @svartvist
      @svartvist 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      The only therapy that works on them, if at all, is hard knocks. Like you say, in essence, their world view prevents them from self-examination, which is the root of genuine "therapy." They're overgrown spoiled toddlers, stuck in a fantasy they require everyone they know to collude with. Donald Duck comes to mind...

    • @frankgeniusza1524
      @frankgeniusza1524 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      It's literally impossible for them to be self aware.

    • @juancarlosp.f9519
      @juancarlosp.f9519 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      svartvist I don’t think they’re spoiled brats because my friend was abused not spoiled. Although some things don’t add up.

  • @julietteSoul
    @julietteSoul 4 ปีที่แล้ว +130

    Walk Away and don’t try to defend yourself , it just starts them up again❣️

    • @calfortrump9399
      @calfortrump9399 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @Juliette: 🤜💥🤛👣🙏

    • @raymondwilliams7638
      @raymondwilliams7638 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yep! It is a very sick dance, huh!

    • @vanessamorey3812
      @vanessamorey3812 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      A chronic problem addict. A loser. Psycho drama queen...
      Enjoy your peace, it sounds like that one let you go easy. Enjoy the serenity!!! You deserve better

    • @jackilynpyzocha662
      @jackilynpyzocha662 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I have two left feet: I'm not dancing (that dance!) :-)

  • @nikkirobinson2543
    @nikkirobinson2543 4 ปีที่แล้ว +482

    I was married to one. He was incapable of expressing love after we got married. It lasted 8 years and I had to get out. He would do more for a stranger than his own family. Never would take advice.

    • @willjackson4505
      @willjackson4505 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Nicole Johnson My step daughter is this way... extremely weird... resents the whole house but warms up to anyone who will talk to her outside the house...

    • @stevechoi1134
      @stevechoi1134 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Nicole Johnson that was my dad

    • @hauweiguy9587
      @hauweiguy9587 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      common pattern for them

    • @donnawoodford6641
      @donnawoodford6641 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Now, you can feel lucky when you know that I was married 41 years. Very complicated.

    • @dianefigueroa2955
      @dianefigueroa2955 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@willjackson4505 ....,....................

  • @oweng7987
    @oweng7987 4 ปีที่แล้ว +749

    They hate it when you are genuinely better at, or more knowledgeable of, something they pretend to be an expert at. It REALLY freaks them out.

    • @tanyalenmark4194
      @tanyalenmark4194 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      Haha so true escpecially if your a lady

    • @Xenlacasa45
      @Xenlacasa45 4 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      Especially when you say there’s actual research on this they will still try to stand by whatever they said.

    • @sookmajoaby
      @sookmajoaby 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      And you try to show them evidence of something you're debating and they don't want to even see it 😂

    • @Xenlacasa45
      @Xenlacasa45 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Trickbop nope they turn a blind eye and start stumbling over their words they are like robots malfunctioning 😄

    • @mzmonicaallday6615
      @mzmonicaallday6615 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Oliver Wade So true! Don’t show evidence that you discovered and they will refute it til the cows come home?!?!

  • @TazHall
    @TazHall 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1137

    Don't take gifts from them. The strings attached eventually form a web.

    • @turkeyrunfarms
      @turkeyrunfarms 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      T-Zay deep

    • @dwightstjohn6927
      @dwightstjohn6927 4 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Interesting point. I just found out my brother accepted for decades a small pension from our dad, two years after dad passed. It shut him up, and/or had him playing "career diplomat" when he should have been taking a stand. Basically, dad bought his silence on family issues. It has me writing my brother off for good. I've lost him, but actually it was decades ago. I just found out now!!

    • @christinanorman3507
      @christinanorman3507 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      I’ve never heard it said so completely correct. Well done.

    • @amythompson6869
      @amythompson6869 4 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      This is describing my elderly mother soooo much! She’s been this way her entire life. She made my grandparents’ life a living hell. Now I’m 55 & she STILL wants to control my life. If she does something nice for us, we owe her. When I go to repay her she refuses to accept it. She wants repaid by controlling my life. If I do something she deems not acceptable she tells us she disowns us. She talks over us & hangs up the phone. I fixed a very nice dinner & invited her & my mother-in-law over. My mom showed herself royally before dinner was even on the table & ordered my son to take her home. I had just gotten a text from my half sister that our dad had passed away. I told her I’d rather change the subject as she was sitting there going on about dad. That’s what set her off. She hasn’t spoken to me for 2 weeks except for when I called her. She yelled at me & told me it was my fault! No condolences or anything! SMH! I guess I’m just going to have to get used to the fact that my mom is crazy. I’m much happier without talking to her.

    • @Laskagleex
      @Laskagleex 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      That's actually a classic bpd move. But yeah, most borderlines have narcissistic traits.

  • @wanderingfree149
    @wanderingfree149 4 ปีที่แล้ว +155

    I love when my covert narcasssit sister gives me the silent treatment. So peaceful!

    • @lt6573
      @lt6573 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      My Mother gave me the same recently...but this time, for the last time!! I stopped all communication with her and it's been so good for me!! Peace, healing...my self love journey is also blossoming now 🥰🙏🙏

    • @luvwings
      @luvwings 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Wish my husband would do that, but he won’t because he knows it would make me happy

    • @song4mozart
      @song4mozart 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      😂

    • @taraarrington2285
      @taraarrington2285 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yayyy

    • @markjayw666
      @markjayw666 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      So pathetic their childish games

  • @johnmills3163
    @johnmills3163 4 ปีที่แล้ว +463

    If you say ... "NO" or "THAT DOESN'T WORK FOR ME" ... it drives them crazy !!

    • @debbiealford4483
      @debbiealford4483 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      They will NOT take NO for an answer!

    • @johnmills3163
      @johnmills3163 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@debbiealford4483 very true ! ... it's their way or the highway !

    • @homarmacario6639
      @homarmacario6639 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      My boss all the time 😒.

    • @MsLittleBarbiie
      @MsLittleBarbiie 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      This is literally how I found this video. I was googling around because I just told someone No to giving them a ride. Now I do everything for that person, never say no but this time I did and it backfired

    • @katjo71367
      @katjo71367 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      My daughter who was two days before her seventeenth birthday told my ex-husband he was not going to drive to school, simply stated it as a matter of fact and he went crazy and beat the living s*** out of her. They hate being told no!

  • @theyrekrnations8990
    @theyrekrnations8990 4 ปีที่แล้ว +487

    the narcissist is afraid of the truth . the truth does not set them free

    • @mairiamdebron1084
      @mairiamdebron1084 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Theyrek Rnations yes it does, but n’s are afraid of true freedom. They are broken people.

    • @NurseEmilie
      @NurseEmilie 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      That is be cause the truth that sets people free is knowing the Truth of the gospel the Truth that Jesus talked about.

    •  4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@NurseEmilie there it is

    • @itankdatapull1594
      @itankdatapull1594 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      So true

    • @thecookingshow1403
      @thecookingshow1403 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      How do u set them free???

  • @ursalaoutrageous9249
    @ursalaoutrageous9249 4 ปีที่แล้ว +837

    Something I wrote when remembering a narcissist I once knew:
    You seat yourself on lofty heights
    while pushing me below.
    The things I could not quite discern
    were things you claimed to know.
    And so you lord it over me
    with power you don’t deserve
    As if you’re here to be enthroned
    and I am here to serve.
    I took the tasks up willingly,
    convinced that it was right
    To be your willing servant
    and struggle with my might
    In attempts to please you,
    but you always raised the bar
    So I could never reach it-
    that’s just the way you are.
    It has finally dawned on me-
    it’s not my fault at all.
    For I’m the one who has the heart;
    you only have the gall.
    Your kingdom falls around you now-you cannot rule alone
    Without a willing servant here
    to bow before your throne.
    I now declare my freedom from your autocratic rule.
    I’m sorry I believed in you. I was a willing fool.
    I have learned my lesson now, but you may never learn
    That respect can’t be demanded-It is something that you earn.
    Nancy Clay, Oct 5, 2019

    • @yaabima2
      @yaabima2 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      This is beautiful and deep. Hope you don't mind if I re-post it?

    • @actsfittolead
      @actsfittolead 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Wow. That was awesome. Nailed it for me as well. Thank you.

    • @ursalaoutrageous9249
      @ursalaoutrageous9249 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Miriam J. Osei thank you so much. I’d be honored.

    • @DreamingCatStudio
      @DreamingCatStudio 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Beautifully said. Thank you.

    • @jessicakuhn2543
      @jessicakuhn2543 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      So awesome.... may I send it to my brother? We have a sister who is 100% a narcissist and we have all dropped her. Unfortunately she has taken our Mother and placed her in a nursing home and we aren’t allowed to even see her without her permission and with her there. Needless to say both my brother and I have been written out of the will with her taken over and changed it. She sold the house and we have no idea what she has done with the contents. She is wearing three hat, power of attorney, heath care proxy, and executor of the will. We have nothing. We are walking away from her and what she thinks is important.

  • @HisWordisLife4U
    @HisWordisLife4U 4 ปีที่แล้ว +103

    1) The truth 2)your independence 3)exposing their true self in front of others 4)being alone
    5)Their true self 6)You leaving them without narc supply 7)being upstaged

    • @sunflower5749
      @sunflower5749 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Thank you!!! Signed, your ADHD friend. 💜

    • @1c2h3e4u5n6g
      @1c2h3e4u5n6g 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thank you very much 👍🌷👏

    • @dr.lavanyambbs.surgeon9073
      @dr.lavanyambbs.surgeon9073 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      💯💯💯💯

    • @dedeefitzpatrick8710
      @dedeefitzpatrick8710 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Dr. C, your videos are saving my sanity. My landlord (where I rent a room) is a full-on narcissist... and your videos are teaching so much! Thank you!😄

  • @mihaela255
    @mihaela255 4 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    A narcissist is a very weak person, that's why he or she became narcissist during hard circumstances of their lives. The strongger ones, become empath in same circumstances.

    • @travismcdaniel2034
      @travismcdaniel2034 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Truth!

    • @blackntantoad268
      @blackntantoad268 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I’m finding it very hard to be respectful… as an ubhigheredguacted person I wanna curse so bad. I was watching videos about electricity and came across this, thanks google. I married a narcissist and just figured it out. Never knew. For about the last four years I’ve been ready to jump off a bridge thinking I’m the asshole that fucking ruined her life. I’m not sure what she runs across on her “social media” excursions but I feel like mine keep pointing me in some directions that I don’t want to go. I want her to be the one but fuck. Leap before you look.. fml

    • @loukiatomlinson3198
      @loukiatomlinson3198 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes!!

  • @joannedavis1991
    @joannedavis1991 4 ปีที่แล้ว +369

    To me the best remedy to deal with narcissistic people is to simply walk away and do not look back.

    • @egrace3738
      @egrace3738 4 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      I agree. It is not worth the effort to deal with a narc. I've got better things to do.
      No contact.

    • @gumba12
      @gumba12 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      They don’t let you as they are massive stalkers

    • @wolfydeku_adorbs3439
      @wolfydeku_adorbs3439 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      But wonder if you love them despite their illness?

    • @TheNikki284
      @TheNikki284 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      It's not always that easy, unfortunately. Some of us are trapped and can only dream of escaping.

    • @Auntemem
      @Auntemem 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Joanne Davis easier said than done if you share life with them, (I.e., small children.)

  • @califdad4
    @califdad4 4 ปีที่แล้ว +332

    was married to someone I honestly believe is a narcissist, it doesn't happen at once, It happens over time and gets worse and worse.

  • @mileynick88
    @mileynick88 4 ปีที่แล้ว +211

    When I started to treat him as he did me, he started to say I was rude now ...

    • @aaratiwasudeo1027
      @aaratiwasudeo1027 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Haha same pinch ..exactly what happened with me

    • @barbarabateman87
      @barbarabateman87 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      YEP, When I said something back I'm the bad person now! That why he is by himself now!!!

    • @alexarihani2902
      @alexarihani2902 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Typical..be they flew into a rage.

    • @avazworld6549
      @avazworld6549 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Over anything especially if I worship God (he will say " you're as Christian as my big toe" after he tore up my Bible in my daughter's nursery!) So I started chanting Buddhism for peace he came in said you're not sitting correctly to do that

    • @Fatherlunaa
      @Fatherlunaa 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      And if you point it out/say what you are doing. They will disagree and deny their part, in one way or another. No matter how plainly obvious.
      I have said “see, it doesn’t feel very nice does it” one too many times to know that it will never sink in. It will never even try to register in their brains. It just bounces right off. So they’d throw an anger, fury fit. Because..?

  • @mikebeam822
    @mikebeam822 4 ปีที่แล้ว +238

    And everything they are 'afraid' you are going to do, they will constantly do to you.

    • @ajohonly3721
      @ajohonly3721 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Mike Beam right 🤷‍♀️ like wtf ? My mil is this

    • @Aaron-bg2oz
      @Aaron-bg2oz 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Great way of putting it

    • @TonaldDrump686
      @TonaldDrump686 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Same with conversations/arguments. They know what you’re going to say because they’ve been manipulating you.
      They say the words/phrases that you want to say before you can. Sometimes they just repeat what you said in a different way. I noticed this from two diff narcs. I call it mirroring because no real communication is happening. Just a fool trying to stand up to A narc....hahaha good luck with that. I say fool because it’s a waste of time to try and explain. Narc knows exactly what’s happening and enjoys it thoroughly.

    • @Fatherlunaa
      @Fatherlunaa 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Does that also mean the things the consistently accuse you off, they are most likely doing, themselves ??

    • @ashleycurrwun4473
      @ashleycurrwun4473 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Always project it onto you. Accusing you of cheating lying stealing...you deny it because...it’s not the truth but you will not win.

  • @elizabethblane201
    @elizabethblane201 4 ปีที่แล้ว +233

    "Keep your inner peace." That is the secret to happiness, even with a narcissist floating through your life.

    • @Letsgocamping143
      @Letsgocamping143 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      So hard to do.

    • @angelagibson5514
      @angelagibson5514 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I agree this information is good. I am so grateful for all this knowledge it helps whip I deal with.

    • @elizabethblane201
      @elizabethblane201 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @Dawn Heath You're right, Dawn, it is hard, because part of us wants to believe that the narcissist is really interested in what we have to say, so we engage with them as if they were a normal, reasonable person, expecting a normal response. Ha ha! I've gotten fooled so many times, but now I've learned not to fall into their traps.

    • @melanie.l6282
      @melanie.l6282 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      yes but not so easy!!

    • @Keekonuts
      @Keekonuts 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      What a lofty idea.....sheesh.

  • @OHMaven1
    @OHMaven1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Tactics to not let a narcissist harm you:
    1) They cannot hurt you if you don’t need them! I.e. you don’t need their love/approval/friendship/relationship/company, etc.
    2) If you have to engage/be with them at a family function, be as pleasant and superficial as possible! Be as boring as a gray rock! Find ways to busy yourself after your initial greeting. Find kitchen duties to tend to; walk the dog; offer to run to the store; or excuse yourself to make an important telephone call.
    3) If they openly criticize you or are unfair to you, respond, don’t react! For example if they criticize someone you love, you could say “I am sorry, but that is not how I view ________! I know her/him to be a wonderful person whom has never hurt me!
    4) They are equal opportunity offenders! Once they realize they cannot hurt you/control you, they will move on to their next target!

  • @charlesmichael9188
    @charlesmichael9188 4 ปีที่แล้ว +148

    My life was full of anxiety, depression, fear. Why? Mom was a severe Narcissist.

    • @gkjunior4189
      @gkjunior4189 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Same dude

    • @lt6573
      @lt6573 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Me too, until I learned my own worth and value in life...and don't need my Mother's approval or validation anymore!! I stopped all communication with her, my enabling father and my narcissistic brother and feel a huge weight lifted from me 🙏🙏

    • @anflow677
      @anflow677 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      LoveWarrior1111 exactly!! Me too ! I’m glad you realized your worth ! 😘🙏🏽💗

    • @miladydewinter8551
      @miladydewinter8551 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Mother AND Grandmother- a double dose of Evil

    • @SublimeLullaby
      @SublimeLullaby 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same

  • @cathyhansen7715
    @cathyhansen7715 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    They really don't like it when you treat them the way they treat you, I'm not with the guy anymore

  • @demigaines5644
    @demigaines5644 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    1) Abandonment
    2) Rejection
    3)Being Disrespected
    4) Being Ignored
    5) Being Made Fun Of
    6) Narcissistic Injury.
    7) Being Discarded

    • @rhart367
      @rhart367 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Lol, that list goes for anyone pretty much. Who likes any of those things? If you like those things and don't mind those things on your list then you don't love yourself much.

    • @brianmarshall3931
      @brianmarshall3931 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      And they have absolutely NO sense of humor!

  • @funlovinbloke6266
    @funlovinbloke6266 4 ปีที่แล้ว +332

    Seven things narcissist's most fear. One of them is that you see through their façade and they lose control of the situation. Another one is losing the other for their emotional fuel.

    • @s7449
      @s7449 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Raoul Kleijntjens I totally agree.

    • @emiliacooper1820
      @emiliacooper1820 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Agreed!!! When they losing the other for their emotional fuel... that is crucial for them “ fuel” “ for the narc is the blood for their heart “ that can bring o lot of damaging in their emotional lives.

    • @Miss_Wonderful1
      @Miss_Wonderful1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Raoul Kleijntjens
      So true. My ex fled when he realized I wasn't paying attention to his bs anymore.

    • @BewearTheAWAKENING
      @BewearTheAWAKENING 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      And the more they fear, the more they lose. The more they lose, the more they fear. Its a self fulfilling prophecy that escalates. Hence, their lack, nay, complete absence of humanity.

    • @hairrus7278
      @hairrus7278 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@judyscheiber3661 if a woman threatens to leave them , they will put out she's a Transvestite so other men will run from her. Even if the woman gave birth to kids. He knows he can cast doubt in people's minds. Shameful!!!!!

  • @jdtracy
    @jdtracy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    Single best advice on YT: Keep your inner peace even though that's not a person of peace in front of you.

  • @prodbybia1072
    @prodbybia1072 4 ปีที่แล้ว +322

    Grown sad little angry people 🤦🏿‍♂️

    • @user-uo7wg5br8n
      @user-uo7wg5br8n 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Toddlers in adult bodies. Black holes in skinsuits.

    • @miraclesforus2
      @miraclesforus2 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Black holes in meat suits!

    • @majorsolutionsllc
      @majorsolutionsllc 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Children in adult bodies.

    • @raymondgarafano8604
      @raymondgarafano8604 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@user-uo7wg5br8n running around with their heads so far up their back-
      sides you could literally roll them around like a hoop.

    • @user-uo7wg5br8n
      @user-uo7wg5br8n 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@raymondgarafano8604 They are the ultimate contortionists. They are so full of shit that their eyeballs are brown and you can smell them coming a mile away.

  • @waterfull2907
    @waterfull2907 4 ปีที่แล้ว +136

    Give them NO attention!
    Best medicine.😏

    • @fkvtsxhk
      @fkvtsxhk 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Is that mean silent treatment, is that make us one of them?

    • @lisamarieromeo6122
      @lisamarieromeo6122 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@fkvtsxhk thats what I thought?
      But no when its to protect yourself im dealing with a 23yr old woman with child that has turned on me cause I've studied all psychopath narcissistic covent behaviours.
      I met this girl walking my dog and I could sense darkness off her like some type of fear anxiety.
      I kept getting vibes to leave but I'd pity her and child.
      How stupid was I.
      Its my greatest downfall.
      I felt for the baby 1half yr.
      I met her just passing and she seemed lonely and said she had no help no family that she was alone.
      Later on I seen hertwice but never any more than 3wks. Then she started trying to test me see how much I'd jump for her , asking can I get smoke off u, skins , painkillers , I wouldn't give her pain killer .
      I even got food for her and she wanted money instead for drink.
      If I'm after saying im sick in bed she was expecting me to get up out my sick bed and walk around to her with smokes. Skins, then it became money.
      I told her keep it but I knew that I asked her for nothing but she gave my dog some bread 1slice. Nothing else well thrown out my face.
      I have copd and I was tested covid, im on antibiotics and steroids she was told I was in college sick that I can't talk.
      Then my mate turned up and said a friend off mine passed away.
      She texted my phone I asked her to leave speaking till later as I had lend my phone to friend.
      Well all she wasn't happy with that so she kept texting all abuse to my phone knowing my friend was using it.
      I had texted her again pls stop texting my business and abuse to my phone ill talk later on my friend died.
      She said to my friend I was talking about him and other lies. why was he there.
      This was last 6 days now .
      I have been even brought into her argument with ppl I didn't even know threatening my home.
      Over her not wanting to pay some bill but I told her leave me alone.
      All from no contact she then used my Christian beliefs against me how can i be a Christian if I don't jump and pity her .
      Then she said im holding a sharp blade against my wrist and my son is watching me ill do it.
      Answer me.
      She then said I gave u a slice of bread all cause i asked for space due to been sick and grieving .
      That I'd never ask her for anything just space.
      Please don't turn anything around on yourself.
      Thats what they do to us all time so we must re program ourselves to know its not your fault u want to be free from someone trying to maliplate u or trying to emotionally control you.
      Abuse you into submission.
      We are empaths.
      We feel like how would we like to be treated like that but they don't think of our hurt they are causing. They love to see us hurt but we are not like that we always want to fix the hurt big mistakes for me.
      Its my downfall.
      They love good or bad supply once they get it so no contact best option.
      its all about them putting bait out to fish hook us onto there cycle again.
      Be kind to yourself.
      Don't feel like saving anyone but yourself because you need to find your peace of mind to be free from the puppet masters control.
      God bless you 🙏
      What kind friend leaves me like this.
      I helped this girl out and let myself lose my peace of mind

    • @GraceCanadaful
      @GraceCanadaful 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@lisamarieromeo6122 - it is 'covert ' not 'convent'. You need help...

    • @lisamarieromeo6122
      @lisamarieromeo6122 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@GraceCanadaful just cause I missed spelled a word i need help r u for real.

    • @delorestaylor8114
      @delorestaylor8114 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      That gray rock makes their head explode 💣🧨💣🧨

  • @m.f.richardson1602
    @m.f.richardson1602 4 ปีที่แล้ว +97

    Narcissists, can Dish It out. But, can't take it.
    NO CONTACT.
    Great video.
    Thank you

    • @lindabaer6603
      @lindabaer6603 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      So True!

    • @garyanderson9467
      @garyanderson9467 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sound like anybody in the news to you?

    • @FatFrogChonk
      @FatFrogChonk 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Very much so. My ex boyfriend would punch me in the arm so hard as a "joke" if I even dared say anything about him, even if I'm repeating what he's said about himself. It's okay for him to abuse or joke about someone else but you better run if you do the same to him.

    • @garyanderson9467
      @garyanderson9467 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@FatFrogChonk Good think he's an ex. Hope you don't make that mistake again.

    • @FatFrogChonk
      @FatFrogChonk 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@garyanderson9467 I spent 2 and a half years in hell with him thinking I could help. Every day was something new, worse and I was his prime target to vent his anger onto. I chose a partner that was almost like my mother. Invalidating, abusive, controlling, selfish and shallow. I'm happy to say that because of him, I know what I don't want in a partner if I ever decide to date again and won't make the same mistake. I'm pretty damaged after catering all these years to him. I need to piece myself back together before I even decide to date.

  • @EriCraft
    @EriCraft 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Exactly! My neighbor demands respect but never shows it to us. She wants to control us and we refuse to follow through with what she wants. She has no control over our property and she hates it.

  • @AikoFox
    @AikoFox 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    They can't think genuinely think for themselves and your level of self awareness and independent thought threatens them. I say, let them fear what is great about you and continue to shine because all they want to do is dull it to try and get you to stoop to their level💜 Shine baby, shine!

  • @eberjom9119
    @eberjom9119 4 ปีที่แล้ว +339

    #1 rule-if you're in a relationship with one, stop trying to change them. It won't work!

    • @SurvivingNarcissism
      @SurvivingNarcissism  4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      So right! Dr. C

    • @dadoq1052
      @dadoq1052 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      You're not supposed to try changing anybody at all.🤷‍♂️

    • @gillianbrookwell1678
      @gillianbrookwell1678 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      @@SurvivingNarcissism No they will never change. It took me 40 years to realize that my husband was a narcissist, thinking the relationship was normal until I confronted him and finally I had to get away for my sanity. It was the most challenging move I'd ever made in my life.

    • @Gamez4eveR
      @Gamez4eveR 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Actually that's the #2 rule. #1 rule is get the fuck out of that relationship

    • @paolamura3497
      @paolamura3497 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      For more than 50 Years I thought everyone had the right to be oneself...After discovering I was married to a narc I have changed my opinion

  • @susanmadison6466
    @susanmadison6466 4 ปีที่แล้ว +232

    I just left my narc of 30 years. I know I can no longer be with him. I know I would lose a part of me if I go back.
    I feel for him though. I feel for the little boy who was broken because of the environment he grew up in. However my love cant heal him.

    • @pounamubts7802
      @pounamubts7802 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      sometimes letting go is the Love

    • @zeek9697
      @zeek9697 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Exactly Susan💔

    • @ladyshrink22222
      @ladyshrink22222 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Susan Madison very mature and sane of you to understand you can never heal that deep wound you did not make.

    • @michellewitter9814
      @michellewitter9814 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Neither can my love... deep, genuine love heal my broken husband of 20 years.. i feel so sorry for him

    • @sunnygirl87
      @sunnygirl87 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Wow. Congratulations. I think my husband is either a narcissist or I am? Could I be gas lit? I guess I need to make a decision, is this bbn worth it?

  • @donnafoley9684
    @donnafoley9684 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Dr. Carter, I have always said to my mother." You are like a mobster; YOU demand respect but never give it." GOD BLESS

  • @carolloraine223
    @carolloraine223 4 ปีที่แล้ว +125

    My "task" is to RUN and never look back. There's no rhyme or reason to stay with liars, cheaters, and have my healrh compromised!!
    So happy with No Contact!!!
    Your life depends on getting away.

    • @christar9527
      @christar9527 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Carol Loraine I think many of us agree with that!

    • @joannpeele8946
      @joannpeele8946 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      CAROL...I just did it 2 months ago...he was covert...I believed him for 5 yrs...I was feeling like a lost soul... he's tried to contact me...and play games...

    • @jehnayr7949
      @jehnayr7949 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I agree! I lived with one for 4 years & it was hell with him. I went to counselling for 2 years & he refused to join me. And his family couldnt understand why I didnt marry him!?! I left & he begged me to come back. Why? To take more of that? NO!! Then 3 years later I married a 43 yr old affluent engineer bachelor who became more controlling, self-centered & domineering. His male friends laughed it off. He even told me one day that he is better than everyone else & called all women names, unless they were loaded $$. Enough was enough!!! Thank God we never had children. I left the jerk, never got dime & never looked back.

    • @bonkeydollocks1879
      @bonkeydollocks1879 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hi Carol, would you like to go to dinner tonight?

    • @barbarabateman87
      @barbarabateman87 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I know I'm at Peace Thank you Lord!

  • @Jenniferde2007
    @Jenniferde2007 4 ปีที่แล้ว +336

    Just cut them off maintain a NO Contact stance and move on with your life. You cannot win in an argument with a narcissist.

    • @caroleannfreelingghost9404
      @caroleannfreelingghost9404 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Jennifer L yep

    • @notwhatiwasraised2b
      @notwhatiwasraised2b 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      ...because you have boundaries and narcs probably don't

    • @patjones4250
      @patjones4250 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Can't reason with an unreasonable person. Better to invest our time and energy into ourselves in moving on with our lives in a positive way. 🕊

    • @Jenniferde2007
      @Jenniferde2007 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      @Red Falcon I DON'T need to win but the narcissist thinks they do and that is the difference. NO CONTACT all the way. I have a good life now and a peaceful, no drama household, and I like it that way.

    • @LorenaBerrenbaum
      @LorenaBerrenbaum 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@christinamclaughlin322 they are easy to spot when you learn the red flag,they all act the same..

  • @teachersusanute199
    @teachersusanute199 4 ปีที่แล้ว +427

    Fear of being exposed. When I finally broke the silence and went to a counselor he went with me. The counselor was really good and after a couple of sessions my husband said he didn‘t need that and that he‘d move out. And he did. Now I know how lucky I was that he moved out. 😁At the time I was crushed because I still believed we could mend our marriage.
    My counselor told me that abusive pple don‘t change and that I was much better off without him.
    True enough 😁good riddance,

    • @ryanfatguyinlilcoat2436
      @ryanfatguyinlilcoat2436 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Teacher Susan congrats

    • @gracea9932
      @gracea9932 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      My counselor told me the same too. In the midst of a divorce right now.

    • @teachersusanute199
      @teachersusanute199 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Grace A yes, he would have never changed. Being a single mother was much easier than living with a toxic person. Congrats to your divorce and wishing you a good life free of abuse 👍🏼🌻

    • @tamko9563
      @tamko9563 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Clap clap clap!

    • @gracea9932
      @gracea9932 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@teachersusanute199 Ain't that the truth! I'm less anxious and depressed, and working with the counselor to love myself again. It's hard but after I left, things just kind of fell in place. I got more support and love than I ever expected and I feel truly blessed. Happy to live life again without walking on eggshells!

  • @garyburns730
    @garyburns730 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    A narcissists aren't predators,they're vultures...They always take the path of least resistance!

  • @lindamichell6334
    @lindamichell6334 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    This is so true. I live with a narcissist. What I've discovered is that most individuals don't just have one borderline personality issues but multiples. The person I am with is not only a narcissist but is very delusional. He also has Oppositional Defiant Disorder, ADD, has multiple addictions, etc

  • @Bozakky
    @Bozakky 4 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    It can be particularly painful when you realize that no matter how much you love and care about another human being, there is nothing you can do to fix them. Thank you for the insightful information that you have provided, not only for myself but for my friend. I am grateful.

  • @j.g.m.6180
    @j.g.m.6180 4 ปีที่แล้ว +99

    So this all adds up to insecurities within themselves. Highly manipulative people that have a need to control their environment!

    • @ddaley001
      @ddaley001 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      J.G. M. Yes, they take no proactive role in their happiness, just reactive.their focus is external, never internal.my observations with several narcs. It’s like they are actors in a play with all eyes on them. Which is exactly how it should be .. if you catch my drift...

    • @octaviajohnson6989
      @octaviajohnson6989 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Canipulative Canniving and Manipulative

    • @alysencameron361
      @alysencameron361 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Because they have no self control!

  • @geofluf
    @geofluf 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    #0 rule-if you recognize without doubt your partner as being a narcissist, run! Get away from them, they will eventually bring you down. It's a constant struggle with them. I am in my second year of therapy after a 5 years relationship with such a person. I ended up having very low self-esteem, increased anxiety and panic attacks. It's not worth it.

  • @biancabriolivingstone6263
    @biancabriolivingstone6263 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    My mother is a narcissist and huge negative in my life. I've always been afraid that it has been me. Maybe a year or so ago we got in to an argument and I finally found the courage to tell her how I felt, that I was terrified to talk to her. All she had to say was, "don't you dare call me a bad mother." Nothing else on it. That resonated, and it hurt. To this day it hurts. I have always been a sensitive soul but nothing hurts like her. Thank you for your videos in helping me understand her, they have been nothing but helpful.

    • @destinyknight2410
      @destinyknight2410 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      This happened to me just yesterday with my narcissistic step-mother. I laid out everything for her to hear and genuinely tried to get her to understand how afraid I am in my own house around her. All she had to say was how "overdramatic" I was, mocked me about everything I said, and said point blank that I need professional help. I shut down and just had a mental breakdown while she watched with a smirk on her face. I am trying to just live my life but it's hard when the person who loves to make your life hell is living with you and watching your every mood, waiting for you to make a mistake.

  • @martieeves4056
    @martieeves4056 4 ปีที่แล้ว +325

    And they are dangerous, they are capable of killing or hiring someone to do it for them. If they're pissed off enough at you for not being their supply anymore, try divorcing them, but watch your back. They do not want you to leave. They will try to stop you any way they can. Make sure you're safe.

    • @garyanderson9467
      @garyanderson9467 4 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Got that right. I made the mistake of going into business with a narcissist. and it became a damn nightmare. When he didn't get his way he threatened about everything and unfortunately he had the money and the means to pretty much do it and was willing to sacrifice anything to get his way. I finally just flat out quit and walked away so he couldn't manipulate or control me anymore. The smartest decision I ever made. It had gotten to the point where I would have killed him if I thought I could get away with it. Fortuntely, the asshole died not too long afterwards but i still have nightmare about the monster every once in a while, but it's decreasing.

    • @amadiohastruck4331
      @amadiohastruck4331 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Wooow

    • @havefaithinGod715
      @havefaithinGod715 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      First apply grey rock then separate slowly...pretend to be upset when they discard you...it becomes much more manageable to cut them off this way....during subsequent hoovering applying grey rock again helped me...i pretended to be living a very boring life..

    • @virginiasanderson519
      @virginiasanderson519 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@garyanderson9467 wow dude! Just wow!

    • @garyanderson9467
      @garyanderson9467 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@virginiasanderson519 I should have listened to my brother. He warned me.

  • @pounamubts7802
    @pounamubts7802 4 ปีที่แล้ว +237

    "healthy and secure people " admit their mistakes and that they're Not perfect...secure= Mature

    • @andymjflemming
      @andymjflemming 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I work with lots of people who are insecure, so I disagree they are all narcissistic

    • @andymjflemming
      @andymjflemming 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Many insecure people try really hard to please others. That's not how a narcissist works

    • @patricialemire6738
      @patricialemire6738 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      These videos have allowed me to see my illness for a lifetime as a narcissist and begin my search for becoming different and making a new life today .

    • @montanas4174
      @montanas4174 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@patricialemire6738 hi i hope i have read comment correctly in what you said. Am dealing with a narcissistic wife an we have a child together an my life has been such a misery to a point i cant take no more. How did you came to realisation of your narcissistic behaviour? I would love to know as of till now i didnt realise there was a turning point. Hope you can help

    • @montanas4174
      @montanas4174 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@patricialemire6738 what made you want you watch these videos? Your answer can be something amazing in such a way in helping others out there with such an illness where they to aren't aware of

  • @phyllisfleming2853
    @phyllisfleming2853 4 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    It took me 15 years to gather all these puzzle pieces and now another 15 years to put the puzzle together. In 14 minutes and 54 seconds, Dr Carter laid out the whole picture, efficiently and concisely.
    Thank you!!!

    • @vblue3926
      @vblue3926 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Me too.

    • @phyllisfleming2853
      @phyllisfleming2853 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      V Blue, I hope you situation is getting better and better as you grow stronger.

  • @TheNCWrapRevolution
    @TheNCWrapRevolution 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Ty ty ty! I am trying to save my 16 year marriage with a full blown narcissist and you deserve to know that your short videos have given tremendous help to a wife who wants to salvage a partnership. Its perspective. You are clear and concise. You are easy to follow, even during crisis mode. Ty for your videos. You are a blessing to lots of ppl like me.

  • @sherrim4067
    @sherrim4067 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    They are fearful of being out of control. My narc got really upset when I decided to go to Florida to visit my adult son for his birthday. He couldn't go, so he assumed I would stay home too. So when he said I can't watch the dog because he's working. He figured I would not go, or I couldn't afford a kennel or pet service.
    Wrong again, I took my dog with me and we had a grand time! They have a fear of being out manuvered. The time away did me a world of good! I highly recommend a quick 72 hours away from a narc.

    • @sugarbum99
      @sugarbum99 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Or for good

    • @sherrim4067
      @sherrim4067 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@sugarbum99 I hear.that!

    • @sherrim4067
      @sherrim4067 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Strangers were polite, and asked about the dogs. One nice couple bought my lunch when I was outside at a table with.the dogs.when I went.to pay for.it, it was already paid for. The note said " thank you for rescuing such a.sweet dog, good luck in your.travels home"
      It restored my faith in man kind.

    • @jehnayr7949
      @jehnayr7949 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      When I lived with my very good-looking, humorous narc for 4 years, his family couldn't understand why I wouldn't marry him!? He finally admitted he had been court ordered to go to AA mgs, never attended & forged attendance the week before I met him. His chronic lies & hot temper escalated, increased verbal & emotional abuse but not physical abuse. I was a company mgr & he worked part-time jobs. For 19 months, he told me I couldn't see my family out of state! I finally told him I wanted to see them, even for Christmas Eve & the guilt he laid on me was horrible. I did go, but only gone 23 hours, out of fear & my family all told me to leave him ASAP!! I flew back to him, only to be told as I walked in the door that he returned ALL my Christmas presents under the tree & that I "didn't deserve" any presents. I left his presents there, flipped him off & stayed at a motel on Christmas, alone. The next day 3 friends helped me move out of that house. He was there, acted surprised, stunned & said, "Babe, you're the love of my life. I love you so much. Why are you leaving me?" 🤤!! I never once looked back! Advice: STAY FAR, FAR AWAY FROM NARCISSISTS!!

    • @JennSGibbs
      @JennSGibbs 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      How about a life time away

  • @britt1805
    @britt1805 4 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    It makes sense now why my ex would take everything as being disrespectful, as if I could never disagree with him or have my own opinions

    • @laurawilliams4034
      @laurawilliams4034 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Black black black!!! . Aren’t you gonna say. White 😡

  • @wolfae7065
    @wolfae7065 4 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    Dude PREAAACH!!
    I spent this entire video nodding my head.
    thank you for validating what I've gone through, and helping me prove to myself that i am not the problem x

  • @andreamara8542
    @andreamara8542 4 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    My mother is one. I’ve set boundaries and have distance myself from her but my sisters have stayed and they accept her as she is. They are very miserable 😭

    • @jamesspada7370
      @jamesspada7370 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Omg so is my mother,she so hateful always arguing, controlling, these people should be ashamed of themselves, no empathy toward me at all

    • @ReginaldoSRegis
      @ReginaldoSRegis 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@jamesspada7370 So is my mother James. The characteristic traits that embody a narcissist clearly point to her, especially being self-absorbed, manipulative, delusional, combative, magical thinker, unreasonable, disrespectful, no empathy, and so on... I know she's not gonna change and it feels sad. I don't live with her, my father does, whose life seems like hell. I want to live a life of positivity and inner peace.

    • @jamesspada7370
      @jamesspada7370 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@ReginaldoSRegis ty so much ,it meant a lot to me,so days she cool and and some days are terrible, I smoke pot to ease the pain and let it go out one ear and out the other,arugeing just makes my mom mad ,ots like a sick game,.....

    • @ReginaldoSRegis
      @ReginaldoSRegis 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@jamesspada7370 Nobody can hold a candle towards her except me. I don't talk to her anymore as engaging in one will just ignite an argument. We argue and fight most of the time as she is so impossible to deal with. When I'm upset and stressed out, I just sit back and calm down and get hold of my 'stress away' essential oil, hehe. Hope everything's fine with you today, James 😀

    • @jamesspada7370
      @jamesspada7370 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ReginaldoSRegis it's hard for me. Cuz I live with her,the last few days she's been ok,hopefully she got a wake up call

  • @matilda4406
    @matilda4406 4 ปีที่แล้ว +81

    "don't let their fear trigger any fear in you", good advice to keep our head up. thank you

    • @caffrey1100
      @caffrey1100 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Matilda lesson learned boy too late their fear runs off on you big time but it’s sneaky you don’t see it until it’s too late live & learn ❣️

    • @matilda4406
      @matilda4406 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@caffrey1100 yes, sometimes we don't see it, but we do live and learn. Stronger next time, eh!

    • @caffrey1100
      @caffrey1100 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Matilda for sure doctor is great so smart love listening to him -- so many moving parts - addiction - Mental illness- People who are sick -- but he seems to sort it out good ❣️❣️❣️ one day at a time

    • @rossita6634
      @rossita6634 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It's too late for me...

    • @caffrey1100
      @caffrey1100 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ros Sita it’s never too late hon don’t speak t into existence never to late❣️💥❣️

  • @kidsmoked
    @kidsmoked 4 ปีที่แล้ว +93

    The landmines one needs to avoid when speaking with a narcissist. That’s why it’s nigh impossible. You need to devalue yourself pretty much as to not threaten them.

    • @annebooyse1112
      @annebooyse1112 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Totally true.☺

    • @JohnSmith-cz3us
      @JohnSmith-cz3us 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      kidsmoked no you don’t. Just grey rock. It works perfectly. Tune them out when physically present and avoid them when you can. Narcissists are easy to spot and deal with after you’ve dealt long-term with one. Be boring but maintain your self respect. They aren’t worth putting yourself down over.

    • @elanabethfariss117
      @elanabethfariss117 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yeah. Someone I don't even know, thinks they have me all figured out. Oh look, she wears her heart on her sleeve, I can so devour this one and spit her right back out. Guess again, I'm not that simple and not so desperate.

    • @JohnSmith-cz3us
      @JohnSmith-cz3us 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Elana Fariss that’s the right mentality. So long as you remain neutral and don’t give them much, you’ll just blend into the background.

  • @EmpressKima
    @EmpressKima 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I'm so glad I found a definition for this creature that somehow slithered it's way into my atmosphere..

  • @fbeegle
    @fbeegle 4 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    You're literally a lifesaver, man; thank you again for all your videos.

  • @kenamaro
    @kenamaro 4 ปีที่แล้ว +138

    I had a “ friend “ that , no matter the idea or concept, if it was not HIS idea or concept, it wasn’t a good one !! It was like walking on eggshells.....

    • @715rdmail
      @715rdmail 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Eventually they will take your ideas and present them as there own, then they are the best ideas in the world!

    • @georganng1548
      @georganng1548 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I know the feeling. And everything is twisted to be my fault!!!!

    • @hadotonini1189
      @hadotonini1189 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yes, they are full of themselves. And they love to steal other people's ideas and take credits for it. But they'll blame you and everyone when something goes wrong.

    • @grnpeepers2683
      @grnpeepers2683 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The constant challenging of everything you say is so exhausting! Ugh!

    • @azuresky4984
      @azuresky4984 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I live in a family like this. My father will literally say that he's my god and if I disobey him I'll die.

  • @carefulcarpenter
    @carefulcarpenter 4 ปีที่แล้ว +86

    *To know love is to know trust; to know oneself is to know truth.*
    🌿🐡

    • @AmandaLee-it1ns
      @AmandaLee-it1ns 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      carefulcarpenter .. thank you

    • @deeb8733
      @deeb8733 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      God is Love. To know God is to know Truth.

    • @notwhatiwasraised2b
      @notwhatiwasraised2b 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@deeb8733 which god(s)?

    • @deeb8733
      @deeb8733 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@notwhatiwasraised2b The One True God of The Bible.

    • @notwhatiwasraised2b
      @notwhatiwasraised2b 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@deeb8733 Why not 'The One True God' of Islam or the gods of Hinduism?

  • @dellshannon5920
    @dellshannon5920 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I dated a narcissist for 8years and didnt even know what it was back then. We have children together and he has custody .. I unfortunately have to deal with him all the time and I hate it. He will never change his controlling ways. I really wish I knew what a narcissist was back then.

  • @sammyl.h.p1010
    @sammyl.h.p1010 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    When I suggested therapy for both of us, the narcissist replied flatly,::”You’ll lose.”

    • @SurvivingNarcissism
      @SurvivingNarcissism  4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Not a good sign. Dr. C

    • @christytdale8225
      @christytdale8225 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Everything with them is "war."

    • @crsh2007
      @crsh2007 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Mine sees everything as a competition, too. For Halloween, we took our 8yo out for Trick or Treating, and he was always just sitting in the car. I urged him to take our son to a couple of houses (after he didn’t want to, and even threatened to take us home, telling our son that I would be the reason for it 🙄), and when he finally did, he told me “I’m two up on you now!” I told him that it wasn’t a competition 🤦🏻‍♀️ JFC

  • @Cinder1987
    @Cinder1987 4 ปีที่แล้ว +146

    It’s weird they do not have a compassionate bone in their body unless it’s towards their pets. They have very close relationships with animals in comparison to humans.

    • @NdnUrbanCat
      @NdnUrbanCat 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Whoa!

    • @conniecrawford5231
      @conniecrawford5231 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      urthebest1122 They Have closer relationships with dogs because dogs are submissive by nature and don’t judge people. Tyrants hate cats because they are independent and can’t be controlled. I adore both cats and dogs so I’m not being critical of a dog’s total dedication but animals don’t talk and only can express themselves through their actions.I’ve never known a dog who didn’t love unconditionally.

    • @Cinder1987
      @Cinder1987 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Connie Crawford Yes, the narcissist I know has 2 dogs and 3 ferrets. Go figure.

    • @JennSGibbs
      @JennSGibbs 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      When I left my husband with my child he screamed at me.... I'm sick of bonding with animals and then loosing them 😂 so much for us

    • @LDT7Y
      @LDT7Y 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I noticed this too. Not all dog lovers are narcs, but all narcs seem to love dogs and hate cats. You can't control a cat. They have a mind of their own and will only give affection when and if they decide to. My narc ex hated my cat and I could never work out why. He would always demand that we get a dog once we got our own house.

  • @ShabdaNet
    @ShabdaNet 4 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    So many narcissists out there! Thank you for these tools. My new rule: "Don't talk to them, don't talk about them!"

  • @Lola-mt1ne
    @Lola-mt1ne 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    This is almost exactly when the narcissist past knew it was over. He could see that I did not respect him for the things he valued, and a whole storm of potential retribution came my way, which I handled with grey rock. Great presentation. Thanks.

  • @brandyleegambill3763
    @brandyleegambill3763 4 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    This has scared me ! This sounds like everything my husband does. My spirit is broken. He is suppose to be a Godly man. Thank you for sharing ! I need counseling.

    • @nancystowell4877
      @nancystowell4877 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Counseling after escaping, it will only get worse if you stay!

    • @brandyleegambill3763
      @brandyleegambill3763 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Nancy Stowell He makes me think it’s all me, all my fault. He is trying to distance me from my family.

    • @katieb1139
      @katieb1139 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Glad I found your comment. I was married for 30 years to a narcissist. He was portraying himself as a Godly man also. Being a Godly Christian Women I believed in my vows. I was a robot on remoteI. I left three years ago, I prayed for him daily no prayers were answered, I changed my prayers to courage and conviction to leave a horrible existence, a loving God couldn’t possibly want me to live this life. God answered. I walked in to a physiologist to help me through this difficult period. My personality trait is I don’t like change, ‘better the devil you know’ attitude. Don’t underestimate your own strength, if you decide to leave. It was a hard road but I’m am so so happy on the other side. My kids and I live peacefully together. Bliss

    • @sammyl.h.p1010
      @sammyl.h.p1010 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Keep watching Dr.C you’ll wise up.

    • @brandyleegambill3763
      @brandyleegambill3763 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Kate Hawkins We been married 9 years, I’m checking into counseling options now. I use to be so full of Joy and laughter. I feel like I’ve fallen into a deep pit and can’t get out. I don’t even know who I am anymore.

  • @charlieangkor8649
    @charlieangkor8649 4 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    when you meet a narcissist I recommend to think only about how to discard them with the least amount of pain.

    • @caffrey1100
      @caffrey1100 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Charlie Angkor amen that

    • @acimbobby
      @acimbobby 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Best bit of info I ever heard, thanks

    • @georganng1548
      @georganng1548 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I never laughed and cried so hard at tge same time. Great comment

    • @christar9527
      @christar9527 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      🗑🗑🗑🗑That’s where they belong. Right in the trash can.

  • @AedanGUnit
    @AedanGUnit 4 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    Look at Gus curled up in that chair ❤️

    • @krisluvsutube2684
      @krisluvsutube2684 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      He knows his master is a good man and definantly not a narcissist!!!

    • @caffrey1100
      @caffrey1100 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      No Contact Sandy Williams such a good dog

    • @kerrycarroll5365
      @kerrycarroll5365 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Is gus a border terrier

    • @turkeyrunfarms
      @turkeyrunfarms 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Didn’t see him until I read this comment💜

    • @ndumi-light
      @ndumi-light 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Gus is super cute...it'd be nice to see him more often. 💖

  • @williamgorden6390
    @williamgorden6390 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    You hold everything in out the fear of provoking their rath. When - out of frustration or self-respect - you finally speak your mind it's like kicking a hornets nest. The pretty face becomes that of a gorgon! Every vile thing she can think of spews from her mouth. That's when it's all confirmed -- it's too much for a normal person to stand. Escape -- get out while you can.

  • @ruthfreeman2396
    @ruthfreeman2396 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    This is the most honest, revealing description of a narcissist. Thank u for your post. Profound and informative. Regards.

  • @gisellesinclair6811
    @gisellesinclair6811 4 ปีที่แล้ว +97

    Great video. My mom was a narcissist and I discovered years ago I had inherited some of her narcissistic tendencies and it was something I didn’t like about myself. I read that true narcissists never change because they can’t do the self-reflection necessary. I consider myself lucky that I was only a partial narcissist

    • @kylebaker3616
      @kylebaker3616 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Glad I found this comment through all the "narcissists will never change and they're demons" comments. Same situation here except from my dad. It's hard to learn to how to fix yourself when everyone just says "it can't be fixed".
      Seems like that mindset would just trap people in that role with no way out.... doomed to a life of failed relationships and making everyone around you miserable. I almost decided to just embrace and utilize it to the best of my ability if I was doomed to live with it forever.

    • @donnabarden4494
      @donnabarden4494 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Kyle Baker, obviously you have been studying all about narcissists, so now you have basically seen how your life is, and you have shared a bit about yourself, now you can go and get help cant you, I hope you do best wishes .

    • @victoria11128
      @victoria11128 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I ve been worried I'm a narcissist as well because my mother is one. I keep analyzing myself to the point of exhaustion in fear that I am like her. I know for sure that I switch to narcissist mode when I feel attacked and abused by her. It's kind of like self defense.I'm just not sure to what extent I keep these narcissistic traits throughout the rest of my life and while interacting with others.

    • @victoria11128
      @victoria11128 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Sarah Plummer thank you for your reply, it's been comforting and reassuring... I went no contact with her to find my peace and balance but it just had the opposite effect. Her texts and emails have been terrorizing me, her flying monkeys have been exhausting me, her lies about me and our relationship to everyone has been frustrating me. I ended up doubting if I made the right decision to go no contact, I've been feeling as if I got myself in a war, while all I needed was peace and quiet. At this point I feel completely shattered and poisoned by all the toxic feelings that I have just by thinking about her

    • @victoria11128
      @victoria11128 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Sarah Plummer thank you. I needed some encouragement from someone who knows what it's like to be in such a situation. As you said, I need to remember that it's not me who is the problem and so far most of our mutual contacts try to convince me that there's something wrong with me and that has been creating for me constant self doubt and frustration. Thank you again

  • @MWcrazyhorse
    @MWcrazyhorse 4 ปีที่แล้ว +134

    The narcissist cries out in pain as he strikes you!

  • @wendycarew5120
    @wendycarew5120 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Keep YOUR inner peace. That makes sense to me. Don’t ever let someone conform you! Thank you Dr. Les! 🙏🏻💗

  • @rosaartemisg5027
    @rosaartemisg5027 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Some narcissists are some of the biggest givers we' ll ever encounter.
    Giving however in the case of a narcissist , more than likely reveals the " double mask" of kindness based on attachments , ego and control .
    Compensation is crucial to a narcissist.
    Otherwise , they will feel unbalanced used and victimized.
    This is nothing more than a childish behavior .
    When we see them as fearful babies
    We can then do the the adult thing ourselves.
    Awareness is key.
    Be the good, kind and humble adult.
    We all need love and acceptance.
    Even the narcissist.
    Keep healthy boundaries , forgive and pray for others .

  • @barbaracatino1822
    @barbaracatino1822 4 ปีที่แล้ว +101

    I wish I knew this stuff when my mother was alive. It's horrible being raised by one.

    • @bksaun
      @bksaun 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Barbara Catino you aren’t kidding! I know exactly what you’re talking about! I stayed away from her every minute I could!

    • @deeds517
      @deeds517 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I totally get you hon my mother is one too.i can’t be around her

    • @Shayra2you
      @Shayra2you 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      It was ten times worse being raised by 2.

    • @pammcardle40
      @pammcardle40 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yes it is! My dad is now 86 and my younger brother still lives with him and he is is so broken now and cannot escape him (won't listen to me at all). He is the flying monkey and feeds it.. so whenever my dad and I got into an argument, he would jump in the middle and defend my dad, then the argument would be turned toward my brother..with my dad shaking his head and saying we have anger issues..yea...total deflection. I was able to escape physically but the mental scars are still there and now I have to get a handle on how I interact with both of them. Long road ahead.

    • @Mischa21xo
      @Mischa21xo 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@Shayra2you Amen to that! Almost killed me and I am so surprised I made it out of that household alive. Was actual torture. I'm so sorry you and others had to go through that as well. Would not wish a narcissistic upbringing on anybody.

  • @bybloslee1439
    @bybloslee1439 4 ปีที่แล้ว +117

    Just laugh in their face they really hate that.they feel threatened.

    • @20greeneyes20
      @20greeneyes20 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      No, just move on and don't entertain their bad behavior.

    • @georganng1548
      @georganng1548 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Regina Patrice The heart of God. ( your response)

    • @Llaveocculto
      @Llaveocculto 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It works ;but do you really want to hear them afterwards?

    • @Nokss87
      @Nokss87 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Regina Patrice you talking nonsense, I'm sorry. Clearly you don't know what this topic is really about.

    • @christar9527
      @christar9527 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes! That was one thing that whipped my husband into shape for starters.

  • @jhavajoe3792
    @jhavajoe3792 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    Well presented. Too bad I had to find these traits out after running into these types across a lifetime.
    I used to be just stunned and confused when encountering one. That's the fun of older age- you've seen
    it before and deal with it better ( as in getting the hell away from the delusional king/queen, pronto).

  • @nanaofaiden9743
    @nanaofaiden9743 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Awww cute doggy napping!
    1. Disrespect
    2. Fear of abandonment
    3. Criticism
    4. Being teased
    5. Being exposed (not allowed to speak of their mistakes) ...always the victim
    6. Fear of Being irrelevant
    7. Fear being average
    Yep. Truth!

  • @michellecox5543
    @michellecox5543 4 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    I have a girlfriend who is in a relationship with a narcissist. She complains about the same issues over and over. And because I have watched many of your videos, along with others, I have explained to her that he will not change. They fight a lot. Break up and get back together. She came over to my house so that we could talk. Mostly her talking about all the things that he has said or done to upset her. Plus if she does not want to go to an event that he does, he just leaves her home. He is a very typical narc that only really thinks he's important and everybody else is secondary or less.
    I think that a non-narc who stays in such a relationship must have very low self-esteem. Or if they do not, it will surely happen the longer they stay in such a dysfunctional relationship. I really can't imagine a healthy relationship with a narc. Is there such a thing? The non-narc is going to take a real beating from this underdeveloped, emotionally immature person. Plus there is no way to make the narc listen to anyone. They most likely will not seek help from a therapist, because they think nothing is wrong with them.
    Narcissists do suffer daily though. Their egos are so delicate that very few words can shatter it. They also suffer karma (the real meaning of karma) constantly. I would imagine that their thoughts are filled with turmoil since they have no inner substance. To me they seem like a shell of a person. Not a whole lot going on inside except constant self-gratification at the cost of others.
    Thanks for another terrific video doc! You make learning a pleasure.

    • @Karmelli
      @Karmelli 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Michelle Cox this is so true. I was going through the same with my boyfriend of whom I’ve finally decided to leave after this last threat of leaving me. All of what you said is true, they love dysfunction, if it doesn’t work for them they don’t think of anyone else. The constant on and off was so draining to me. Wanting to have stability and it’s just never going to be there. It took me a while to realize I was being manipulated, and I considered myself to be a strong person, but it definitely humbled me and made me realize that even I could get caught slipping. Either way it’s a year past due, I’ve learned. No contact. I’m over it and out.

    • @michellecox5543
      @michellecox5543 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@Karmelli You are strong and smart! I feel like earth is a kind of school for us to learn in body what we can't in spirit. Kinda crude, but you get my point. Just a series of events that teach us things. Some of us get the point and move on. Some of us repeat the same behaviors more than once to truly get it. I heard one other doctor on TH-cam say that all of us have a bit a narcissistic traits. And as you learn more about this behavior you might agree. But these folks on are on narc-overload. In a way it's very sad. They have ruined themselves for future relationships. You can be rest assured, as you move on to a more stable happy life, that he will go through basically the same trials and tribulations over and over. He will most likely not change. So his future is pretty much guaranteed to be a turbulent one. I wish you the best of luck in your next relationship. Just keep your eyes open. Learn as much as you can about being a good partner to someone. All of us have lots of room to learn. The payoff is a happier more content way to live. Cheers kiddo!

    • @stacygrey4022
      @stacygrey4022 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @ Michelle Cox Your last paragraph, i have been thinking the same thing.

  • @trishhellene2794
    @trishhellene2794 4 ปีที่แล้ว +91

    This makes a lot of sense with the man I married...worked as a CEO and played me for 17 years and now I have turned the tables on him....I don't give a damn about him and he does not like it at all.

    • @pemalama6597
      @pemalama6597 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Trish Gray, they hate there own game when it’s played to them but was absolutely okay play that game to us only. Now I just choose few words eg yes, ok, sure yep lot of yep, when he ask me what am I doing I paused and think does he care and asking me or just because he’s bore so then I go no responds that’s the end. I am practicing way to respond or way to reach because he’s getting lot good energy from my weaknesses. So, my apartment is lot less screaming, yelling and lot less emotional abuse.

    • @stacyprettyman5756
      @stacyprettyman5756 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I’m in the same boat...😢

    • @trishhellene2794
      @trishhellene2794 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@stacyprettyman5756...I had to turn the tables on my husband, so I started slowly, first replying with simple yes and no ...then, going out doing my own things, meeting up with friends for coffee, lunches..sometimes dinners. My last thing was asking him to move into the spare room...that was the difficult one....but I stood firm and said there is a strange odor coming from your body at night and it is making me sick and cannot sleep....this was a lie of course ...but he got so self conscious that he went to the doctors and was told some older men do have body odor as do some women as they age ....I laughed so hard .... now he is in the spare room and I have the master. He has been more attentive now than ever before...but I do not let my guard down ... I ensure I have the upper hand now and through this I have become much stronger...I realised after all these years crying, having no self worth ...that he now feels what I have been through ... we live like sister and brother or room mates and that is fine with me. I am now independent of him ... I am now Trish who is a wonderful mother, friend and person! I am now FREE.

    • @CodyCole80
      @CodyCole80 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Trish Gray
      Awesome! But you move out if and before you ever decide to file for divorce. Sometimes, people go crazy when they realize it’s finally over. He could insist on harming you, so leave before you tell him there’s no going back.

    • @kemi7689
      @kemi7689 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Narcs are great CEO, that's their domain, leave him and don't look back

  • @queensigal
    @queensigal 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    While we are speaking of them,the narcissits NEVER EVER think of others except how to manipulate them.

  • @novano1100
    @novano1100 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My narcissist house mate (female - (we rent separate rooms in this house) accused me of watering my beautiful plants with urine. She smelled it and she was convinced she had spoke with me about it before. She brought our landlord into the drama and tried to make this big lie larger. Obsurd and out of this world. I tried to reason with her that I would never do such a vile thing. I am a plant lover and my plants are outstanding. She sucked me into this argumentative engagement once again. I was thrown off base by this obsurd accusation. I have brought myself back to realization of her traits and with the help of these videos; confirmation of my own sanity. Thank you

  • @BigDderrell
    @BigDderrell 4 ปีที่แล้ว +411

    One thing a narcissist doesn't like is a hard uppercut.

    • @anitadeclerck6000
      @anitadeclerck6000 4 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      Very true. I see them as spoilt little brats who now has to face the world and are scared little babies. Very low self-esteem and will run away as fast as possible when they see that uppercut is coming! And they need someone to control and abuse to make them feel strong.

    • @43MinutesWithJamieRose
      @43MinutesWithJamieRose 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Lol thanks for the Lol

    • @pamelameckley7308
      @pamelameckley7308 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Hahahah! 😂

    • @mrm09100
      @mrm09100 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Lol!

    • @dawnwidner2186
      @dawnwidner2186 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      i don't know about that. my step son gets a lot of hard uppercuts at bars. and then tries to play the victim card. and he fits everyone of the things that was said here.

  • @lindaw.1568
    @lindaw.1568 4 ปีที่แล้ว +192

    Mine began to fear being exposed as abusive, so he began to tell everyone far and wide how much he loved and adored me, while being a huge S**** at home. Friends and family would tell me about it, and envy me for having such a loving guy. Yeah. Right. pfffft!

    • @jcszot
      @jcszot 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Linda W. That’s how people see my brother-in-law! I made my mother aware. I told her I didn’t expect her to take sides but I just was making her aware. She agreed with some points on Dr. Carter’s covert narcissist video but she’s still flying monkey. I think she does it out of fear. She 78 years old and probably just doesn’t have the energy to deal. But yes-so many are deceived when “They” put on that prince’s cape. And yes-everyone thinks my brother-in-law is the greatest guy! Thank God we have the right magnifying glass to see it all!

    • @lindaw.1568
      @lindaw.1568 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      JC Szot Oh true! And facing that reality is very painful but it saves our lives! Thank God for Dr. C and others like him!

    • @rodmorrison6644
      @rodmorrison6644 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Exactly!!

    • @jelw3197
      @jelw3197 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Linda W. DUDE ITS THE SAME SHITTY THING HERE !! Its sooooo funny that they all act in thr same stupid splitted way lol !!

    • @lindaw.1568
      @lindaw.1568 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      JELW It's just crazy isn't it! It's as though they all read the same book, follow the same script! It's all predictable, but it knocks us over when they do these things, until we get educated... then the whole horrible thing makes sense: We're dealing with an evil, sick monster!!

  • @missmonkeymind708
    @missmonkeymind708 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    You do a really good job of pointing out subtle nuances that most others speaking about narcissism don't touch on. Every single example you gave in this video actually happened to me... and I'm guessing the same for every other person who has dealt with them. It's like they all downloaded the same virus and bug out in the same exact way

    • @ebony41441
      @ebony41441 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes, it’s like they all went to the same school. Weird

  • @dithompson7936
    @dithompson7936 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    ..thank you, has taken me years to understand this personality disorder ...difficult to move on physically but now am able to disengage when the tantrums happen!!!...so much jealousy envy, etc and then love bombing to justify their own bad behaviour!!!...but now stand firm and calm!!!!

  • @456inthemix
    @456inthemix 4 ปีที่แล้ว +68

    They have no shame seemed to me.

    • @aleksander8497
      @aleksander8497 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      They can do no wrong, ever

    • @cjennings6179
      @cjennings6179 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      They just have NO CONSIDERATION CARE for ANYONE. NOT even their OWN BODYS. They SMOKE & Drink to excess. Are lazy.

    • @cjennings6179
      @cjennings6179 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      They will NOT say im SORRY.

    • @zeek9697
      @zeek9697 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      No shame to cover their DEEP sense of insignificance and shame due to that sense.

    • @zeek9697
      @zeek9697 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@cjennings6179 many are worshippers of their body. They stare at themselves in the mirror and scowl at others in feelings of superiority

  • @MultiTetley
    @MultiTetley 4 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    They also fear death 💀 as that is something that they cannot control and that scares them.

    • @MultiTetley
      @MultiTetley 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Bodie Dutch Many do though

    • @trappnest4490
      @trappnest4490 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@MultiTetley True, one of my worst fear is definitely death. The fact of not existing anymore and not being able to do anything about it scares me. Plus I have the feeling of being somehow immortal

    • @MultiTetley
      @MultiTetley 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      TRAPPNEST Thank you for your honesty. I know the thought of death does frighten a lot of people, but personally I’m really not. What I know about the after life is that it’s a much nicer place.

    • @trappnest4490
      @trappnest4490 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@MultiTetley As an atheist I think that after people die, it's just over, that there's nothing else. That's probably why it's scares me so much

    • @MultiTetley
      @MultiTetley 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      TRAPPNEST Believe me there is a after life, I always used to think that until I started receiving spirit visitations from my deceased loved ones, they always look happy and at peace. So don’t worry about that it’s real alright.

  • @RC-ey4gm
    @RC-ey4gm 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I am who I am because of my family dynamics. I’m the identified patient. That has helped me to grow into a strong empath. Your videos have taught me how to embrace who I am flaws and all while recognizing the signs that I’m a highly favored narc target. That’s when I need to pull back.

  • @idoskidsattheawesomeauzzie9255
    @idoskidsattheawesomeauzzie9255 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This “NARCISSIST” sounds like EVERY Politician, Police, Teacher I have EVER KNOWN

  • @zukoher
    @zukoher 4 ปีที่แล้ว +253

    I'm not a Christian, but the bible was right when it said not to make friends with people who are quick to anger.
    It's a red flag whenever I see it and I always walk away from those people.

    • @knowledgeapplied
      @knowledgeapplied 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      It was also right when it described, and foretold, narcissists to a T, at 2 Timothy 3:1-5.

    • @knowledgeapplied
      @knowledgeapplied 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      But the real reason is found, here:
      Revelation 12:7-9, 10, 12

    • @qimatswift4829
      @qimatswift4829 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      That is in the Bible because God loves us and wants to help us and protect us. This is proven by God sending Himself, His son, to do the greatest act of love for all of us. You will find that all the commandments are for our own protection. God bless you and I pray that you will come to Him, our Father who loves us.

    • @MrEricharper
      @MrEricharper 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Are we not all quick to anger in the wrong circumstances?

    • @zukoher
      @zukoher 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@MrEricharper in the wrong circumstances, sure, but not all the time with everything. Perhaps I should have made myself clearer.

  • @angelabailey7229
    @angelabailey7229 4 ปีที่แล้ว +47

    This is dead on. I was married to one for many years.

  • @dragonfly1838
    @dragonfly1838 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    He needs to realize that its myself that makes me who I am, not him. He is a parisite that I have chosen to flick off the self he needed me to be for him. Well, it's time to be myself and stand strong on the frontline . And I'm good with that.

  • @mollyulrickson2043
    @mollyulrickson2043 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    They will always talk about themselves call to names like crazy. And tease you blame you for everything this guy is so on point glad I caught on within two months to long.

  • @jelw3197
    @jelw3197 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Pray for me guys.. i have a court situation with my abusive narcissistic father .. i’m scared but i feel like he will let me go as he can be exposed is so many ways with evidence this time ..he has a split personality where he shows up to the public as a good wealthy person who want to do good for the poor but he be physically,verbally , financially abusive behind closed doors and people don’t believe us when we say he’s abusive !

    • @sherrim4067
      @sherrim4067 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Prayers sent.

    • @jelw3197
      @jelw3197 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sherri M thank you 🙏🏼

    • @jelw3197
      @jelw3197 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sherri M thank you 🙏🏼

    • @OffTheWagons
      @OffTheWagons 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      My stepdad was/is the same. I had to stop talking to him

    • @TazHall
      @TazHall 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      May God expose everything completely. Wicked people eventually fall into their own traps. They either wake up or continue the merry-go-round. Thankfully you have the freedom not to ride it.

  • @stefaandecroo6774
    @stefaandecroo6774 4 ปีที่แล้ว +86

    Dear Dr. Carter, You are a beacon of light. Thank you for being a guide. Bless you.

  • @Chaosthemighty
    @Chaosthemighty 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I know a few Narcissists who blame everyone else for their own failures or mistakes. They don't even except half the responsibility in a "two way street" relationship gone bad.

  • @carolinesand9711
    @carolinesand9711 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    You’re treated differently at home compared to when you’re out around people . Only you know it. The narcissist is living a lie. I hope someday he is found out and people see what I am living with. I try to be quiet around others.

    • @dinxie8221
      @dinxie8221 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Caroline Sand AMEN!

    • @luvisgud1
      @luvisgud1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Oh My Gosh. I just realized who and what I was dealing with. That classic sign is something I noticed around others. They think he is Great and we have an we have an Awesome relationship but he is just an AssHole All Day 💯💯💯

    • @cjoybalambero7337
      @cjoybalambero7337 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I feel you..you are not alone.

  • @perrydoerr8668
    @perrydoerr8668 4 ปีที่แล้ว +191

    Another thing Narcs fear...Videos like this. Evident by the three thumbs down. Hahahaha. Good stuff Doc. Free at last free at last!!

    • @angelaraber
      @angelaraber 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Now it’s 5 😂

    • @perrydoerr8668
      @perrydoerr8668 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Angela Raber At least they’re watching...😜

    • @max_synth3930
      @max_synth3930 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Narcs dont fear videos like this, cause they don't know they are narcs. Narcs aren't self aware, they don't know who they are...narcs are mindless creatures.
      Sorry for my english.

    • @uppitywhiteman6797
      @uppitywhiteman6797 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@max_synth3930 Many of us know exactly who we are. It's just that we just don't care. True good manipulation is a thinking person's art. It does take time.

    • @caronboler4048
      @caronboler4048 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Cap Doerr 107 thumbs down now. Oops. He’s hurting some feelings out there because it is the truth and it hurts... you know...possibly 😱

  • @danielwiltshire8131
    @danielwiltshire8131 4 ปีที่แล้ว +104

    When they feel they are loosing control over you ? and the situation?....if anyone else knew "He was the street angel but the house devil ".. Thank u ..I .Hope to make this live.

  • @thebewitchinghour831
    @thebewitchinghour831 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    They fear being abandon but yet always threaten to leave you. I told my husband that he was a bully.

  • @patissa9656
    @patissa9656 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Very well explained with details that has helped me realize how VERY MANIPULATIVE narcissistic people are....wish I learned this insight years ago before I was used and abused by these family members. Thanks a whole bunch👏👍🏻