the narcissist treated you nicely until he didn't. they have just one speed. what the new supply has is temporary. just like you. don't envy them; don't be jealous. it's a waste of emotion. concentrate on you. leave the misery behind. look for the peace you deserve.
@@CommonEgo what if their new supply is an overt narcissist and makes a decent amount of money? My ex narc left me because her and her family are broke and money is a dire essential for them. He lives in a different state and flies her out or will fly out to her. He get's to have his space and other women while shoveling a little money for another woman on the list
I was literally crying my eyes out when I was watching this video. The narc and his new supply 'seem' so happy and loved up on social media and it absolutely broke my heart... so glad I watched this video. It made me feel comfort and reminded me that he will never change and he is not in love
Same here!!! And he never posted me on social media all 3 years we were on and off. I don’t think he’s posting her but she has their relationship all over her page. Little does she know, I her blocked voicemails and calls from his daily asking to see me again and hook up. Complete fraud.
@@sarahford5532 Omg same! my ex posted me twice in four years 🙂 fuck them! She will learn his true ways eventually! we are free from abuse and a life of misery!!
Whenever you are feeling bothered by thoughts of the new supply, take a mind adventure to the past, to the beginning of your relationship with the narcissist. Remind yourself how great you felt initially and then remind yourself of how you are feeling *right now*. Remind yourself of all the things that happened to make you feel how you feel right now, of how your dreams turned to dust. And know that the new supply will now have to learn the same lessons you did. There is nothing to be jealous or envious of here - just compassion and empathy for the devastation the new supply will ultimately endure.
this is so true, but u know, I can't help but blame myself for the failure of our relationship. My ex said that if I had acted a certain way and hadn't had sex with him too early in the relationship, he wouldn't have disrespected me and would've treated me better. I kinda believe him but I have my doubts, I low key don't know what's real and who's to blame anymore
@@anya4304 They will say whatever they have to in order to hit a nerve with their blame-shifting. "If only this, if only that" - don't listen to a word of it. It comes back to him - "if only he was more respectful, if only he treated you the way that you deserve to be treated". You are not to blame for his shitty behaviour, so please redirect it back to its rightful owner. Be kind to yourself. Always. :)
@@anya4304 part of their game. Its just to hurt you and fill you with self doubt and take the focus of of THEM. You are wrong, do NOT blame yourself. Nothing was real. Nothing will ever be real for them, you have to pity them.
When I broke up with my narcissistic ex, not even a month passed he already found new supply. He portrayed his new relationship as this "amazing" thing. He posted about her and bragged about her. But honestly little did he know that I actually don't feel sad at all about that. Because I know that his new relationship is just his try to make me feel sad and jealous. Why would I be? I literally found myself, educated myself, learned to set boundaries with people, learned what toxic people look like, learned how to love myself and respect myself. Nothing to regret about an abusive relationship
He don't post her on social media but he do try to introduce her to are kids and keep bringing her up to his family and want everyone to meet her which indicates to me he's very much into het and has fallen in love what's bothering me is how fast he jumped in this relationship when we was together the entire 5 months we was separated we was very much still together he would invite me over say he miss me and then boom he cut off all contact and started telling people he in a relationship keep in mine prior before are separation we was married for 25 yrs so while its hard for me to move on and I'm still emotionally invested not because of my history with this man but to know through are 5 month separation he kep playing in my face telling me we can work on us and inviting me over for meals conversations and making me think he was very much still interested when in reality he has moved on but had me on the side in case it didn't work out with his new supply so I don't know if he's really happy if she's a rebound or if he's really inlove or was just using me until he was ready to be with her dud he really love me?? Why was it so quick for him to throw me away and completely cut off all contact he barley reach out to are kids anymore he's a completely different person he went out and brought all new clothes foot wear new phone he did a complete make over and for the 25 yrs I been with him he refused to ever wear any name brand sneakers or clothes im struggling with so many questions why?? How and I will never get closure because he told me it was all my fault he been hurting and unhappy for 25 yrs he been with me but the last 5 months of are separation he told me he missed me loved me and invited me constantly to his home even got mad sometimes when I would decline
That's can be true! I wouldn't go out of my way to explain it to someone who hasn't seen it firsthand. It's too hard for people to understand the mind of the narcissist, and it's much easier for them to believe you're exaggerating. But most of us here have seen it and experienced it, and we know you're not crazy. It's straight out of their playbook ❤🙏
@@FROSTYFEET874 Hey...trust me Karnell, your far from alone here and it's totally mind blowing just how many other's are going through similar horrendously debilitating and heartless situations likewise. Obviously we've all heard of Narcissism, but I'd no idea so many even exist out there & the untold damage and purposeful heartbreak they are causing & yet just walk away and keep on starting over again & again. I swear they are soulless monsters in a fake human body!!! Take good care of yourself and any genuine loved one's!!! Fastereft.com may help recovery also a fab Neuroscientist called Dr. Joe Dispenza is worth looking up! shalowm 🌈🙂👍💜
Angie Jackson thank you so much honestly , really have been a tough couple of months but what makes this so weird and unusual this isn’t the first time I was discarded but like the 2 or 3rd time . She never sees what she does wrong but loves to point the finger at you.
I dated a narcissist about 6 years ago. We broke up twice, and each time, he had a new girlfriend in about a week. And I don't even think he was cheating either - just that he had an addiction to love and attention. I thought I would never feel good about myself back then, but I've gone all in on my healing since, and today I feel happier and more confident than ever. Hang in there everyone, healing is possible and it's coming your way!
Thank you so much for this post! It is helping me get through this Christmas. Broke up September of 21, Left Dec. 12th 21, Last Contact (an accident he showed up to my ex husbands and was shooed off eventually) anyway been NO Contact since July 22, the pain IS starting to pass finally, but still struggling with the aftermath of the abuse. So thank you for these words of encouragement!
This is true, they are serial daters most of the time. Moving on quickly, I ignored the red flags from her friend who told me she always needed to have a guy in her life for validation and self worth.
My EX would reminded me constantly how she was always lonely, and miserable when I wouldn't stay the night. She would remind me she always feels lonely and sad even after we had amazing day together.
It looks like they are treating them better and giving them everything you thought you wanted from the narcissist, because they are doing it to get under your skin. But like with you, they can never be happy because they don’t even like themselves and they are empty.
The more the NARC gives them, the more they will lose in the end and aftermath of the relationship, they give and get supply, they take each thing and destroy it for the negative fuel and supply !
You made such a profound point when you said "he may treat the new supply better because there's some benefit there for him". I remember when I was dumped out of the blue for someone else. I almost died, all I kept asking was where was this person all the time we where talking, what does she have that I don't? I had so many questions and no answers all he would do is stonewall and try to even shift blame to me. It blew my mind when I saw him put up pictures of them or her on his social media, I mean as far as I knew just a minute ago I was his everything I had no idea there was anyone on his radar. Then 6 months in they got married, all their friends and family congratulating them, I was so devastated. She was getting everything I wanted. And I didn't even know anything about narcissism but I started looking up the way I was being treated in order to understand what was happening to me, the lack of empathy especially. That's when I learned that what he was doing to me had names like gaslighting, stonewalling, blame shifting. But he wanted this person to file for him to migrate to another country. So she filed thinking she was chosen because she was better. The marriage lasted 1 year, 4 months after he landed he dumped her and later divorced her. Now he's dating other people and I suppose that "wife" is now looking up videos about narcissism in order to understand just happened to her. But the people he's trying to date seem smart because one of them just dumped him citing "red flags". They don't seem to change and they don't treat anyone great unless there's something in it for them.
Same. I learn that too. I was like I'm way prettier and smarter than this clown. They always go for downgrades sometimes. My thing was she did real estate and she wasn't really good at it what I seen not to say just because. I just could tell from the editing and stuff. Yes I was the why and what was he thinking? But, it all started to make sense now. Do not get me wrong some can make good money and some don't make good money but, settle what they got. She settles what she got and she already had 4 to 5 kids before then. She was looking for a figure for her kids. She pick the wrong one. He only using her for a place to stay because I kicked him out. Plus, she believes his lies. She end up pregnant like a fool she is acting like they happy now? He abandoned the kids he had and she knew about me before I knew she even existed. She was a side. 🤔 A back up plan he not into but, uses when needed like the rest. He also, had 3 kids before me and I had one. We had two later on. I found out I was pregnant he knew and didn't bother to help out but, play fake family with her now. It's wild. I hope she knows she a homewrecker and he ain't nothing. He uses her for things he needs and now act like he has a business all of a sudden? He is using her. She will learn. I'm free from it. Thank you moron. Me and my kids will just be fine. Who's laughing now. Don't be surprised he leave one day and get more fools like you pregnant. I had to learn the hard way. She knew better then I did. She knew about me and knew not to get involved.
The most healing act to take after a discard and/or break up either way from a narcissist, is to unfriend and either block or go silent. Don’t peek! Ever. Not knowing, not looking - this is so healing. This is the only way to have the last word with the narcissist and find closer. The only way. Keeping tabs is like pouring salt on a painful wound. Another way to speed up healing is to get out of the head where the rumination and addiction keeps one trapped. When painful withdrawals occur, transfer the pain to body and let the waves wash through U. Allow the temptation to text, call and/or peek at social media to pass and give it time . . . An hour or a few hours. You will realize that you are sooo thankful you didn’t give in. Little by little the healing happens. This is exactly like an addiction to overcome.
I also think that the really intelligent ones learn and up their game with each victim. My ex definitely has psychopathic tendencies. He’s very controlled and plans things out. It’s like a game of chess with him.
HD Tudor states that the average narc does what they do as defense mechanisms or instinct. There are those who know who they are and what they do and they don't care how they impact others. The rest act out of instinct that they developed as children to get a small percentage of the needs the adults in their lives were not meeting met. Do to George Simmons material I had adopted the belief Narcs knew exactly what they were doing and did it on purpose. I think there are those who indeed do, but the large number of them do not. I do think they do know what has worked to get them their way and they do some things with the knowledge, but it's more because they are entitled to get their way and have things there way because their way is so superior. They are aware that society doesn't approve of their behavior, but that's because society just understand.
OMG!!!!!! My ex husband of 23 years just got married yesterday and our divorce isn't a year old. I found this video this morning and it answered nearly ALL my questions and gave me a sudden sense of peace, self-approval, and so much more. I was once the pawn, myself, and didn't even remember; but reflecting back, now I see it. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!! Let the healing begin!!!!!!!!!
Same here, boyfriend of 18 years is marrying not even a year after our separation… he abused me badly the last 10 years. Ive been so depressed about this but after watching all theese clips I feel sorry for the new girl.
He took her to Dubai and when I was on a trip with him, he was flirting with other women on phone and in hotel and didn't touch me once. He's also told me stories about their intimacy & how kinky they are together.. & expected me to unconditionally love him.
Oh wow..mine said the very same thing...strange indeed..didn’t realize it then though..”I was being love bombed”..better believe I’m FULLY AWAKE NOW..and I’m also Divorcing that.
@@alesiafoster7750 yes, me too, divorcing after 26 yrs of lies. I know, I should have done it years ago but did not know there was a name for his abuse until after final breakup. They need to educate college students. Mandatory!!
I remember how angry the ex boyfriend acted towards me, and her. She told me they had broken up, but he, like me now, would never have had closure. Perhaps I expect, she been sleeping with him while she found me. I'm so thankful for these series of videos. To understand what happened, and to be prepared for what's coming. I'd have never believed someone could treat a lover so cruel.
They like to rub the new person in your face. He sent me a text a couple of weeks after moving out to let me know that he had meet someone new and they were so much happier. They were married a couple of months after that. I feel so sorry for her, she had no idea she was inviting a demon into her home. I hope she wakes up to her reality but they have a kid now so who knows. Great video! Excited for a trauma bonding video as that is my favorite topic! I really think everyone should have education on trauma bonds.
Just think about how it was in lovebomb.. yes they are being treated "perfect"... for now.. as soon as that supply completely lets their guard down and feels secure it will stop and they will go through the confusion, the bizzare health issues, then comes the devalue and they could be stuck in that god knows how long before discard and we all know those parts are not pretty, so whats to envy.. a temporary high that is destined for hell?
I’m going through it now I don’t have social media but I find myself just trying to find out what’s going on why was I not enough if I gave my all . I’ve just started watching these videos and I’m learning slowly thank you !
This is so interesting. I was in a relationship with someone who, from watching your videos, was an ABSOLUTE covert narcissist, and I would block them on my social accounts so I could detox from them, but they would get so angry and challenge me on why I did that as if it was so unreasonable and immature. I would eventually unblock them after feeling bad, but they didn’t necessarily follow me. It was like they just wanted access to me and my life. And now that I have seen these videos, I realize they wanted to stay in my line of sight in order to stay on my mind, even if I wasn’t on theirs.
My ex has tried to keep it as secret as I can (he’s so sneaky) so he can try and keep me on the side as well - the new supply is someone I was cautious of when we were together and ended up being the reason we broke up because he thought I was ‘too paranoid and untrusting’ - I’m sure he is a narc but then little doubts creep in and I worry that maybe he isn’t and maybe it was just me 😭 maybe they will be happier 💔 I’m so glad I listened to my intuition but Jesus this hurts. 💔
You can get 'hooked' by them. It is the promise, of how good the first time they 'love bombed' you was, ...back when you believed they were this amazing person, & you believed the love was pure. Now you realized they have this hidden agenda & they are lying to you, to take your life from you, to consume you for themselves. ...but the 'love bomb' phase is such a good feeling experience, & it is really emotionally devastating when the dawning of this understanding happens ...like, wait my love for them is so real, ...so does this mean, they were just 'playing me' ...it hurts & I think because we wish it WAS real, we can get hooked back when we see them love bombing another person. It hurts & it hurts worse to get 'hoovered' back into their warped reality. So just remind yourself that you are watching this narcissistic person 'love bomb' their next 'trick' 😬 ...because you were their most recent trick, it isn't 'real' with a narcissist, they were not showing you real love, they aren't showing this new person real love... because they don't know how to really love.
I begged and he promised for two years that we’d go on vacation together, he ended it in March after going on a vacation he hid from me, with another woman. Now they look so happy on social media. Keep asking why wasn’t I worth it? Why couldn’t we ever travel together but this woman he claims to have “just met” was instantly given it.
A great lesson I was taught, what you see on social media is a snapshot of what's really going on. It might only be 10% of the real story. It can also be staged or sending a message rather than a real reflection of that dynamic/experience.
My narcissistic ex got married less than four months after I broke up with him. All I can feel is pity for the new supply. Good luck and stay strong, buddy... My guess is the narcissist is now happy to be married so he can start the devaluing phase and this poor guy is now stuck with him.
This video is probably the best video I’ve ever seen about the situation. I wish I would’ve seen it last night when I saw social media. I couldn’t sleep all night but this has really put it into perspective. Thank you
Wow! 😮 I wish I’d of come across these videos 3 months ago would of saved me many many tears!! My ex who after watching these is most certainly a narcissist left me 3 times in the 14 months we were together, 3rd time she didn’t come back (which I thank the lord for every day) within two weeks she was with someone else and it was all over social media, telling each other they loved each other a week later 🙄 absolute madness!! Your trauma bond video also hit home to me and I still show a lot of signs of still having a trauma bond but your videos have definitely come to me at the exact time, the universe has been my biggest support throughout this time and I have no doubt they guided me to you ❤️🌎💫 thank you!
OK, serious question. How many times do I say crazy in this video? 😅❤🙏 *Think you may have had a relationship with a narcissist?* Download the FREE checklist to see how your experience stacks up to the phases of narcissistic abuse: www.commonego.com/checklist
She thought I was going to stick around when she broke off our 3 year relationship due to claiming that she met someone new. I just said ok and moved to the other side of town. You won't get the chance to flaunt your new supply in my face. I said good luck, and it wasn't for her but, for him. The narc is done when you're done!
No the narc usually is not done when you are done. I broke off the relationship with the narc "friend". She had made things abundantly clear by upping her behavior because I was calling her to accountability for her behavior. She began the gaslighting in Ernest ( which confirmed in my mind who she was and what she was doing). She lied to someone else committing me to something I told her I hadn't agreed to and thought I'd simply go along with that. When I didn't, she began to play more games, and started taking credit for things I made, and when I called her out publicly, she saw rage. I handed her back something we were doing together ( which she was using to gaslight) and that made her angry. She tried and tried to get me to assist again. She has been hoovering ever since, trying and trying with apologies and gifts to express her well intentions for me, and her well wishes for me. I'm not falling for it.
I love it!!! this is my favorite video. Without Christina I would be a mess,, whenever I’m sad I watch this video and the karma video and it gets me right out of my depression. Everything she says is right to the T
It was in my face, clear as day what was going on. It hurt, I was confused. This was a year ago before I was afraid to confront. Now, I couldn't give a shit. I am no longer following the herd, no longer tied to anybody's expectations.
If I didn't know it or feel it at the time, when I was discarded for a recycle, but the lower value replacement did me a favor. You nailed it again Christina. What a Trainwreck to watch....😁🚂
The narc made a lot of plans with me. To travel and go scuba diving or go on his motorcycle with him cross country. We visited Vegas once and he would always refer back to that trip as one of our best times and that we should go back and elope. I could sense the discard was coming and I triggered him by calling him out so he ghosted me and then went to Vegas and eloped with his new supply 4 months later after taking her to the across country bike trip and scuba trip to Thailand. Yea he absolutely replaced me. And I couldn't be more grateful!
It’s all games. It’s so sad that narcs live that way. They are sad and depressed, anxious and stressed out, but in denial about all of it for their whole life. Keep no-contact everyone
Thank you for your videos. This is exactly what I needed to hear this morning. I know it’s all a show and that he’s fake, but when I see a new picture of them or hear something I always worry that it was me and that he loves her more. I don’t know why I even care, but these videos help ground me and give me strength to keep moving forward 🤍
they dont even give a f about their own kids ... sad thing, mines going through her da da da da phase bc its just easier to say. but its like ahhhh, of course. why cant momma be easier to say. but everything about her is so precious, just her entire existence is stil just awww. baby babble. she switched to lala as i type this tho w/ rasberry bubbles in between ha
So informative 👏. Thank you so much for this video. These types of videos are helping me recover from this severe narcissistic abuse. I am not jealous i feel bad for his new relationship.
Wow I'm glad I found this video... it's starting to make sense now I was hurt mad and confused.. we broke up after 8 years within less than 2 months he met his new supply and got an apartment for both of them... crazy
@@CommonEgo you're so right about what it's like to look back on what used to bother me. I can't believe I ever believed a fraction of the crap I took at face value. Never again that's for sure!
@@CommonEgo Sometimes I think you have to interact with multiple ones before you truly recognize the red flags cause each narc. really does present differently. My take now is, if someone is treating me in a way that is causing me stress or distress, whether it is intentional, non intentional, because of childhood abuse, or whatever I need to give them a wide birth and allow them to be responsible for healing themselves. Once I see patterns that are causing distress, even from someone who's been a friend for a long time ( they often don't treat tertiary sources really badly, they reserve this for primary and secondary sources), you believe what they are showing you and allow them to be responsible for their own healing. If you happen to be a tertiary source, and then they move you to a primary or secondary source, that is when they begin to mistreat you. Another friend and I see this pattern in two friendships where it all was fairly ok until primary or secondary sources were removed and they moved us into that role.
You're wonderful. You are so empathic towards the victims of narcs, you have such an amazing understanding of how we feel. Easiest subscribe ever. TY so much!
Ugh!!! He betrayed me and went IMMEDIATELY into a relationship with her. HE IS MY NEIGHBOR .. 2 houses away. She is a total downgrade. She moved in last January 2023. Since that day, he bought a gazebo and outdoor furniture and built her a garden, bought the SAME truck that I bought-same color- and THEN just recently, he traded in the RV he bought for us… for a new one. It’s a ridiculous monstrosity…. Unbelievable
… you explain it perfectly! And yes… it is crazy… still it hurts. I find it so hard to forgive myself that I let the relationship happen. I walked away 1 year ago. I want not ever to think about this nightmare anymore!!! It is still not possible.😢
@@lorabor8967 Agreed, they are incapable of feeling empathy, they do not care if they are hurting you. Even more, they want to do it. They want to ruin you mental health
They are god little g n feel they should be served n worshipped and u/ we failed them! Honey dont even think on that part to hard, the devil always want to punish those he dont devour! U are chosen!!!! U are the light!!!! U Win!!!! N them narcs aint god little g or big G
I honestly don’t think my narc thinks about me one tiny bit. He went back to an ex in 30 days who I think is also a narc. She didn’t care about him or what he was doing until he started dating me and she text him (he read some of it to me while we were dating), and told him everything he had ever wanted to hear. She has a lifestyle he wants and he has a service he is skilled in that enhances her lifestyle, so they are kind of using each other to fulfill a need and each other’s ego. They were both posting about them in a secretive way that only I would know it meant they were back together. I literally don’t matter one bit to him and didn’t the moment she said she wanted him back. I just fulfilled a need he had when she didn’t want him and no one else in his life gave a crap about him. I didn’t know when we started dating that they had dated. I thought they had just been friends. He told me about it after we were involved.
Anyone who wasn't in one of these long enough has to trust the fact that these people ultimately become very boring and irritable the longer you stay with them. They hate themselves and can only stay in infatuation phases of relationships to prop themselves up because they're totally empty people apart from that. And they spend their lives chasing that until the aging process exposes them as the bitter fools that no one with real experience or substance wants.
So Happy I found this channel. I dated a women for a 1.5 yrs. Then had her move in with me. I thought in days who is this person. It was the craziest 6 yrs. and ruined my life. No one can comprehend unless they have experience it personally. I thought who is this person...omg. I learned recently.. and found out I am very susceptible to being with one with my personality. I have too much pride.. honor, integrity and a ridiculous huge conscience..etc. Don't lie Strict Mom Have trouble saying know. and treat all people the way you want to be. It has been 14 yrs. and she still manages to find me. I just happen to find the one who cheating on me is not one of her traits but has all the rest. She is obsessed with me but is waining over time. Aging and health problems.
Delete FAKEBOOK. I had a highly successful and devastatingly handsome / charming Narc. After everything he has continued to do (years after break up) to me and our son, he is ugly to me now. Think of them as a rabid dog with a beautiful coat. Don't go near it, it would kill you off it had the chance!
Oh my goodness, I needed this video so bad. I honestly feel so much better, and my sanity restored. I knew he was dating someone else, but claimed it was just a "'fling" that meant nothing, and that he wanted to get back together with me (Classic hoover!). He said he was "working on himself" and that if I could just give him a little bit of time to "sort himself out", then we could get back together and have a healthy relationship this time. The trauma bonded part of me wanted so badly to believe this. Then he told me that he was going to stay with her instead because they have "a much healthier relationship" and that I would never change. I've been so hurt and blaming myself and thinking, "was I really the toxic one??? Is she actually better than me, and will she really make him a better man?" But I'm actually laughing now. I feel so relieved. If I was toxic it's because I was drinking water from a poison well. Poor woman... I hope she's a quicker study than I was....
you are such a lovely person and so strong and gifted!!!using your own experiences to hep others is so Devine!!! everything you say in your videos is so accurate and so helpful!!! am so blessed that i cam across your videos! its my job to treat personality disorders.....but as a natural empath getting involved with a true narcissist was such an amazing experience!!! no university can teach you what it really feels like to be in a relationship with these people.....thank God i stopped it sooner than later and i am still me!!! your experiences validate what i experienced and i can use it in order to help other powerful loving people to heal. thank you!!!!!!
Today i saw my ex bc he had to pick up his stuff from my house, he told me he is happy and that his new gf and him have things in common. And wants me to leave him alone....And he wishes for me to move on. Did he say that to hurt me or is he really happy. Im so upset 😭😒 after 3 wks no contact he moved on so easy after a 5yr relationship
Thank you for all of that insight... It is very reassuring... I just dumped my narcissism 30 years.... I tried so many times to get away and he just kept coming back and he still won't stop so I'm moving...
My ex narcissist said his new woman is helping him out financially and he feel sorry for her. I wonder did he ever felt sorry for the help I gave him and his family early on? I just cant wait until the new woman notices that my ex is not a normal man, he will never make you very desirable, he will make her feel hes a better looking than her.
Just met the narc’s new supply! I don’t think he is trying to do anything to me by bringing her over to our son’s event. But I do think that she is a supply he is working through the stages with. Or maybe he found the perfect match/the love of his life 😅 either way, I no longer care. It’s been a long journey but I am here 😊
Wow 😳 needed to hear this .. I’m on day 30 nc after 6 years of rollercoaster moods with the nex.. I am so grateful I’m not with him anymore .. he had me replaced and I met her there she was in my face .. 11 days later he makes it social media official (per friends telling me - I asked them to not give me updates -... she will find out soon enough .. not my problem .. get outta my head get outta my heart .. it wasn’t real
My husband (soon to be ex) says how Head over heels he is over his new “perfect” supply, her beautiful home, and lovely children. (Who was a friend of mine, so I know what an emotional mess she is) but is still trying to sleep with me and has been blowing off his own children. So no, even though he wants to try to fake it, it isn’t any better.
When you finally start to heal you will see the monsters they are. Love is respect, honestly, loyalty, dedication and the narc is incapable of those traits.
He is treating her much better. She's pretty and has more followers on social media. He had her on line before he discarded me for the 2nd time. I don't kow how I will ever move on from it unless one of us dies first. I can't help but wonder if I would have been skinny and pretty if he would have been kind.
People dont worry if they are happy or not. Know that their lives is a big empty bubble. They will always be unhappy hate themselves, and they do not love the new supply.. know you own worth!!!!
My ex husband told his new wife that he left me $100,000 in the divorce. Yeah, I wish. He refuses to keep a job and is just irresponsible with money. So what he is doing now is telling her our children keep asking him for $ and that’s why they are about to be homeless. Our kids are grown and have good jobs. 2 in the military and the other has her own business. They all said they haven’t asked him for a dime. She is young and the age of our adult children so OFCOURSE she believes him. I haven’t seen or spoken to him in way over a decade and wish he would stop using us and stay over there.😰
The other common trait that Christina points out in this video, is their omnipresent need to show off, get confirmation, etc. My narcissist ''friend'' initially discarded me after a proposal to go on a short trip together, which she had denied claiming she had an awfully busy job schedule ahead. You want to know what happened next? In like 2 days or so, she posted on fb an ''open invitation'' for a trip for all the potential available friends'', due to take place on exactly the same time! Actually that was the last thing I ever saw before blocking her! That's how they think guys.
When I was with my Narc, she would often test me by claiming she was often approached by men at work who wanted to date her. Soon after she began to breadcrumb me and became less available for me. I’m sure she was securing the unsuspecting supply from her supposed supply train. I went NC as soon I cleared my mind from all her lies. Never again.
How ? He. Blocked me out. And started posting photos and things on Facebook. He not doing it to get back at me. Because he doesn’t see me or talk to me anymore. He ghost me when he found his new supply!! They moved in together and engaged after a couple months of spending time.
Yep - experienced this exact same thing after she monkey branched to her new supply. I almost feel sorry for the poor bastard but he knew exactly what he was doing when she cheated with him, so I have decided they deserve each other and don't give them a second thought.
My narcissistic ex doesn’t post on social media….. I am either witnessing it myself or hearing it from others. Example: he never did anything for my son’s birthday but I just found out from him that he’s at a party for his girlfriend’s daughter. He’s with her over two years before I finally threw him out so it’s not like she’s a new person
My ex narc tried to conceal her new supply for years. I believe she treated him better to a point to protect her security blanket. He is in the military and she wanted the benefits and knowing she would be taken care of. Now he filled a restraining order against her and they are separated. Maybe he had enough, or she got caught cheating on him like she cheat on me with him. Sad part is when I found out about them I tried to warn him it would not be white pickets fences and a tire swing in the front yard.
My ex narcs new supply has a LOT OF MONEY. I don't know her, but I knew him. He was GREEDY! So greedy that I paid for our dinners, nights out, and 1/2 of our Vacations. I never knew how much money he made, credit cards, bank accounts, etc. I do know he had a great job that paid well. He loved being near rich people, expensive cars, yachts, and the best clothes. He used & abused me. He future faked me about marriage, including an engagement ring. I'm 11 years out, and I no longer feel love or missing him. I don't know who or where he is today, but I'm sure he's going from one to another. He married the RICH woman only 2 weeks after I left him, and if he's still with her, it's all about the money.
I remember my ex’s ex posted “My exs new girls is probably thinking she hit the jackpot rn poor girl” i ignored it 5 years later I am literally thinking that about his new girl
I can't even believe I'm back at this stage. Every break up he goes thru, Hoover call happens. Seems his relationships last about 6 weeks (ours was 5 mos before first break up but we were friends for a decade first. Him dating anyone ever was hidden from me) anyway this girl apparently is very intelligent (but yet begged him to date her while we were together for second time so I'm not so sure of intelligent.) He said he's not heartbroken over them breaking up because he was "bored". Idk. I'm over this til death do us part thing. Just puts me back in a bad headspace
Never made it to the end, too many ads, but both of my parents were narcissists and they kept each other going for 62 years. We kids paid all the prices. So not only were we narcissistically abused, we also had the model of two complete narcissists having "the perfect" marriage. So it's pretty hard to understand why it can't work with a narcissist. They catch me off guard every time.
My narc ex would always say to me after I confront him for his shit*y behaviour: “if that’s what you think…” I had to remind him to no avail… it’s not what i think it’s what happened !!! After that he didn’t bother to “win me back”
Johnny depp and Amber heard, the truth will come out even if the karma bus missed a stop, all buses have the same route over and over it will stop at the narcs stop one day.as for the many new supplies they are welcome to her, I’ve got away and I’m staying away.
Depp is the narcissist. She has borderline personality disorder. It ended the way it did because she rocked his junk better than anyone ever has. How can you not see that he is the narcissist and she has the abandonment issues?!
I broke today because he told her he loved her in a week! told her she was the ONE when he had told me the same thing. told me over the phone he wants to do it right with this one... then I picked myself back the fuck up and blocked all of it pfffft he talks shit lol I'm glad I'm out of there I just feel sorry for my child now.
even tho i am still in the trauma bond, this last blowout was the last drawl. Spent over $500 on her bday, then later on she started to get quiet, 4 years ive learned what the red flags are. The issue started because I said "happy birthday" wrong. Then all the sudden I was cheating with 2 different people. I left and said leave me alone I'm not going to deal with your episode and I went home. I just got a new ball python, i was told if i didnt come back and "be a man" my snake would be gone. I didn't give in. The next day she called and asked for a ride. I said no. I was then threatened if I didnt come back I would be getting arrested and charged with a fellony because she had video of me kicking in her door and stealing my snake. This is quite hard to do from my couch..... I said thats fine report it. Kept getting threats for another 10 hours. Finally a cop showed up at my house and had to search my house. 2 days later she said you need to get over here now your snakes in a toy box and she wasnt going to touch it. What they do is very dangerous to the supply. She wanted me arrested just because I wouldn't give in to forced compliance. This is the first time I have ever had to deal with police and her that I said I want to press changes for false reporting. These people go through life somehow concequence free which makes no sence. None of any of this or the abuse ive went through in 4 years makes sence.
I feel sorry for the supply not the narcissist. I’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist for 24 years and a different relationship is not what I want or need. I’m content with being alone and spending time with my children. Narcissistic people always move on to someone else within a day or a week. My ex wife has always jumped into another man’s arms as soon as she was done with me and would always want to come back because she always had something that was wrong with that other guy. I put up with that and physical abuse, verbal abuse again… for 24 years but 20 years in a marriage. Just because of the kids and truly wanting to keep my family together. After she finally divorced me and I was able to find myself through counseling and studying personality disorders I was able to get through the gaslighting and manipulation and pushed her out. Narcissistic people don’t treat people better in other relationships. Using someone for emotional gain through manipulation is not treating someone well it’s abuse.
I'm struggling with the following: I blocked the narc after I saw him with the new supply. I've heard he says I'm being childish and I'm sure he believes I'm jealous (I was but I'm better now). I'm trying to not care about what he says or thinks and I want to remain no contact for my sake. Am I doing the right thing?
Blocking him does not mean you are childish or petty, it means he's so toxic that you do not want him to have access to you. let him think what he wants, you know yourself and how keeping no contact will bring you nothing but peace and calmness. you won't get caught up in what he's doing and you'll spend your energy on things that are worth spending your energy on. I hope it is still going well for you, well done on not giving him a reaction to his opinions and well done for going no contact x
Blocking him is the best thing that u will ever gift urself they are not worth ur love , energy and ur time save that for someone who will treat u with respect and understanding 🙂👍
the narcissist treated you nicely until he didn't. they have just one speed. what the new supply has is temporary. just like you. don't envy them; don't be jealous. it's a waste of emotion. concentrate on you. leave the misery behind. look for the peace you deserve.
True. Everything is black or it's white ❤🙏
You paraphrased what I say to myself all the time. "It was fun while it was fun, and then it wasn't" Unfortunately "wasn't" was the reality.
sophie morrison 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
sophie morrison I love how you put your words 💯
@@CommonEgo what if their new supply is an overt narcissist and makes a decent amount of money? My ex narc left me because her and her family are broke and money is a dire essential for them. He lives in a different state and flies her out or will fly out to her. He get's to have his space and other women while shoveling a little money for another woman on the list
I was literally crying my eyes out when I was watching this video. The narc and his new supply 'seem' so happy and loved up on social media and it absolutely broke my heart... so glad I watched this video. It made me feel comfort and reminded me that he will never change and he is not in love
Same here!!! And he never posted me on social media all 3 years we were on and off. I don’t think he’s posting her but she has their relationship all over her page. Little does she know, I her blocked voicemails and calls from his daily asking to see me again and hook up. Complete fraud.
@@sarahford5532 Omg same! my ex posted me twice in four years 🙂 fuck them! She will learn his true ways eventually! we are free from abuse and a life of misery!!
@@sarahford5532 word. It's the worst...
I wish to give you a hug because I went and felt the sane way as you, but I live and let love fly free I live by that.
@@Ayixlia ❤️❤️❤️
Whenever you are feeling bothered by thoughts of the new supply, take a mind adventure to the past, to the beginning of your relationship with the narcissist. Remind yourself how great you felt initially and then remind yourself of how you are feeling *right now*. Remind yourself of all the things that happened to make you feel how you feel right now, of how your dreams turned to dust.
And know that the new supply will now have to learn the same lessons you did. There is nothing to be jealous or envious of here - just compassion and empathy for the devastation the new supply will ultimately endure.
Amen
This is a great comment. It went from 100 down to zero in two years.
this is so true, but u know, I can't help but blame myself for the failure of our relationship. My ex said that if I had acted a certain way and hadn't had sex with him too early in the relationship, he wouldn't have disrespected me and would've treated me better. I kinda believe him but I have my doubts, I low key don't know what's real and who's to blame anymore
@@anya4304 They will say whatever they have to in order to hit a nerve with their blame-shifting. "If only this, if only that" - don't listen to a word of it. It comes back to him - "if only he was more respectful, if only he treated you the way that you deserve to be treated". You are not to blame for his shitty behaviour, so please redirect it back to its rightful owner.
Be kind to yourself. Always. :)
@@anya4304 part of their game. Its just to hurt you and fill you with self doubt and take the focus of of THEM. You are wrong, do NOT blame yourself. Nothing was real. Nothing will ever be real for them, you have to pity them.
happy to be out of this ...
It's a great feeling 🙏❤
God bless you for having the strength and wish you nothing but the best moving forward
When I broke up with my narcissistic ex, not even a month passed he already found new supply. He portrayed his new relationship as this "amazing" thing. He posted about her and bragged about her. But honestly little did he know that I actually don't feel sad at all about that. Because I know that his new relationship is just his try to make me feel sad and jealous. Why would I be? I literally found myself, educated myself, learned to set boundaries with people, learned what toxic people look like, learned how to love myself and respect myself. Nothing to regret about an abusive relationship
More love and power to you I just did the same !
@@kaylacharles4930 I am so proud of you, you can do it!
Naidza Sky thank you so much!
Thank you for sharing. I am in a good space finally and this gives me hope🙏🏽
He don't post her on social media but he do try to introduce her to are kids and keep bringing her up to his family and want everyone to meet her which indicates to me he's very much into het and has fallen in love what's bothering me is how fast he jumped in this relationship when we was together the entire 5 months we was separated we was very much still together he would invite me over say he miss me and then boom he cut off all contact and started telling people he in a relationship keep in mine prior before are separation we was married for 25 yrs so while its hard for me to move on and I'm still emotionally invested not because of my history with this man but to know through are 5 month separation he kep playing in my face telling me we can work on us and inviting me over for meals conversations and making me think he was very much still interested when in reality he has moved on but had me on the side in case it didn't work out with his new supply so I don't know if he's really happy if she's a rebound or if he's really inlove or was just using me until he was ready to be with her dud he really love me?? Why was it so quick for him to throw me away and completely cut off all contact he barley reach out to are kids anymore he's a completely different person he went out and brought all new clothes foot wear new phone he did a complete make over and for the 25 yrs I been with him he refused to ever wear any name brand sneakers or clothes im struggling with so many questions why?? How and I will never get closure because he told me it was all my fault he been hurting and unhappy for 25 yrs he been with me but the last 5 months of are separation he told me he missed me loved me and invited me constantly to his home even got mad sometimes when I would decline
trying to explain this to people make you sound crazy and delusional because they never been through this .
That's can be true! I wouldn't go out of my way to explain it to someone who hasn't seen it firsthand. It's too hard for people to understand the mind of the narcissist, and it's much easier for them to believe you're exaggerating. But most of us here have seen it and experienced it, and we know you're not crazy. It's straight out of their playbook ❤🙏
Common Ego thank god I am not alone!
@@FROSTYFEET874 Hey...trust me Karnell, your far from alone here and it's totally mind blowing just how many other's are going through similar horrendously debilitating and heartless situations likewise.
Obviously we've all heard of Narcissism, but I'd no idea so many even exist out there & the untold damage and purposeful heartbreak they are causing & yet just walk away and keep on starting over again & again.
I swear they are soulless monsters in a fake human body!!!
Take good care of yourself and any genuine loved one's!!!
Fastereft.com may help recovery also a fab Neuroscientist called Dr. Joe Dispenza is worth looking up!
shalowm 🌈🙂👍💜
Angie Jackson thank you
Angie Jackson thank you so much honestly , really have been a tough couple of months but what makes this so weird and unusual this isn’t the first time I was discarded but like the 2 or 3rd time . She never sees what she does wrong but loves to point the finger at you.
Living well is the best revenge
Its so hard because my kids go over her house on weekends and always come back with a story buy im praying for healing
Yessss
I dated a narcissist about 6 years ago. We broke up twice, and each time, he had a new girlfriend in about a week. And I don't even think he was cheating either - just that he had an addiction to love and attention. I thought I would never feel good about myself back then, but I've gone all in on my healing since, and today I feel happier and more confident than ever. Hang in there everyone, healing is possible and it's coming your way!
Thank you so much for this post! It is helping me get through this Christmas. Broke up September of 21, Left Dec. 12th 21, Last Contact (an accident he showed up to my ex husbands and was shooed off eventually) anyway been NO Contact since July 22, the pain IS starting to pass finally, but still struggling with the aftermath of the abuse. So thank you for these words of encouragement!
@@robertataylor5794how are you doing now
How are you now?
Narcissist are very dependent on others for happiness! They CANNOT be alone! They don't know how!!!!
This is true, they are serial daters most of the time. Moving on quickly, I ignored the red flags from her friend who told me she always needed to have a guy in her life for validation and self worth.
My EX would reminded me constantly how she was always lonely, and miserable when I wouldn't stay the night. She would remind me she always feels lonely and sad even after we had amazing day together.
Pathetic
It looks like they are treating them better and giving them everything you thought you wanted from the narcissist, because they are doing it to get under your skin. But like with you, they can never be happy because they don’t even like themselves and they are empty.
The more the NARC gives them, the more they will lose in the end and aftermath of the relationship, they give and get supply, they take each thing and destroy it for the negative fuel and supply !
You made such a profound point when you said "he may treat the new supply better because there's some benefit there for him". I remember when I was dumped out of the blue for someone else. I almost died, all I kept asking was where was this person all the time we where talking, what does she have that I don't? I had so many questions and no answers all he would do is stonewall and try to even shift blame to me. It blew my mind when I saw him put up pictures of them or her on his social media, I mean as far as I knew just a minute ago I was his everything I had no idea there was anyone on his radar. Then 6 months in they got married, all their friends and family congratulating them, I was so devastated. She was getting everything I wanted. And I didn't even know anything about narcissism but I started looking up the way I was being treated in order to understand what was happening to me, the lack of empathy especially. That's when I learned that what he was doing to me had names like gaslighting, stonewalling, blame shifting. But he wanted this person to file for him to migrate to another country. So she filed thinking she was chosen because she was better. The marriage lasted 1 year, 4 months after he landed he dumped her and later divorced her. Now he's dating other people and I suppose that "wife" is now looking up videos about narcissism in order to understand just happened to her. But the people he's trying to date seem smart because one of them just dumped him citing "red flags". They don't seem to change and they don't treat anyone great unless there's something in it for them.
Omg same as my experience
Same. I learn that too. I was like I'm way prettier and smarter than this clown. They always go for downgrades sometimes. My thing was she did real estate and she wasn't really good at it what I seen not to say just because. I just could tell from the editing and stuff. Yes I was the why and what was he thinking? But, it all started to make sense now. Do not get me wrong some can make good money and some don't make good money but, settle what they got. She settles what she got and she already had 4 to 5 kids before then. She was looking for a figure for her kids. She pick the wrong one. He only using her for a place to stay because I kicked him out. Plus, she believes his lies. She end up pregnant like a fool she is acting like they happy now? He abandoned the kids he had and she knew about me before I knew she even existed. She was a side. 🤔 A back up plan he not into but, uses when needed like the rest. He also, had 3 kids before me and I had one. We had two later on. I found out I was pregnant he knew and didn't bother to help out but, play fake family with her now. It's wild. I hope she knows she a homewrecker and he ain't nothing. He uses her for things he needs and now act like he has a business all of a sudden? He is using her. She will learn. I'm free from it. Thank you moron. Me and my kids will just be fine. Who's laughing now. Don't be surprised he leave one day and get more fools like you pregnant. I had to learn the hard way. She knew better then I did. She knew about me and knew not to get involved.
The most healing act to take after a discard and/or break up either way from a narcissist, is to unfriend and either block or go silent. Don’t peek! Ever. Not knowing, not looking - this is so healing. This is the only way to have the last word with the narcissist and find closer. The only way. Keeping tabs is like pouring salt on a painful wound. Another way to speed up healing is to get out of the head where the rumination and addiction keeps one trapped. When painful withdrawals occur, transfer the pain to body and let the waves wash through U. Allow the temptation to text, call and/or peek at social media to pass and give it time . . . An hour or a few hours. You will realize that you are sooo thankful you didn’t give in. Little by little the healing happens. This is exactly like an addiction to overcome.
Thank you
It's so crazy how consistent these patterns are.
I also think that the really intelligent ones learn and up their game with each victim. My ex definitely has psychopathic tendencies. He’s very controlled and plans things out. It’s like a game of chess with him.
I definitely agree..... And foolish me taught him so much about narcissism.... Guess what is more dangerous than a narc??
An educated narc.....
HD Tudor states that the average narc does what they do as defense mechanisms or instinct. There are those who know who they are and what they do and they don't care how they impact others. The rest act out of instinct that they developed as children to get a small percentage of the needs the adults in their lives were not meeting met. Do to George Simmons material I had adopted the belief Narcs knew exactly what they were doing and did it on purpose. I think there are those who indeed do, but the large number of them do not. I do think they do know what has worked to get them their way and they do some things with the knowledge, but it's more because they are entitled to get their way and have things there way because their way is so superior. They are aware that society doesn't approve of their behavior, but that's because society just understand.
Yessss!!! I agree, manipulation at it's finest!
OMG!!!!!! My ex husband of 23 years just got married yesterday and our divorce isn't a year old. I found this video this morning and it answered nearly ALL my questions and gave me a sudden sense of peace, self-approval, and so much more. I was once the pawn, myself, and didn't even remember; but reflecting back, now I see it. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!! Let the healing begin!!!!!!!!!
My husband moved on while we were separated. Didn’t bother to get a divorce. I had to divorce him
Same here, boyfriend of 18 years is marrying not even a year after our separation… he abused me badly the last 10 years. Ive been so depressed about this but after watching all theese clips I feel sorry for the new girl.
Yep new supply was already being groomed even before the divorce proceedings started. Got the divorce in April he married in May. Pathetic parasites.
Same omg she's great right on time
He took her to Dubai and when I was on a trip with him, he was flirting with other women on phone and in hotel and didn't touch me once. He's also told me stories about their intimacy & how kinky they are together.. & expected me to unconditionally love him.
U are gorgeous n deserve better
I recall in the beginning my x saying to me how he would treat me so good that it would make others envious. I thought it was strange
Oh wow..mine said the very same thing...strange indeed..didn’t realize it then though..”I was being love bombed”..better believe I’m FULLY AWAKE NOW..and I’m also Divorcing that.
@@alesiafoster7750 yes, me too, divorcing after 26 yrs of lies. I know, I should have done it years ago but did not know there was a name for his abuse until after final breakup. They need to educate college students. Mandatory!!
yep mine always reminded me how good he treated me and how I won't find anyone to treat me as good
@@user-cf4jj8gb8p my ex said the same thing to me. Wow
I remember how angry the ex boyfriend acted towards me, and her.
She told me they had broken up, but he, like me now, would never have had closure.
Perhaps I expect, she been sleeping with him while she found me.
I'm so thankful for these series of videos. To understand what happened, and to be prepared for what's coming.
I'd have never believed someone could treat a lover so cruel.
They like to rub the new person in your face. He sent me a text a couple of weeks after moving out to let me know that he had meet someone new and they were so much happier. They were married a couple of months after that. I feel so sorry for her, she had no idea she was inviting a demon into her home. I hope she wakes up to her reality but they have a kid now so who knows. Great video! Excited for a trauma bonding video as that is my favorite topic! I really think everyone should have education on trauma bonds.
It's so sad when kids are involved, but I'm glad to hear you're out. I find the trauma bond fascinating too. Wild how this all works ❤🙏
What is trauma bonding?
@@lilaclavender1989 The video went out yesterday, so you can watch for an explanation ❤🙏
Thank you i'm actually watching the video right now!
@@lilaclavender1989 awesome... hope you like it! ❤
Just think about how it was in lovebomb.. yes they are being treated "perfect"... for now.. as soon as that supply completely lets their guard down and feels secure it will stop and they will go through the confusion, the bizzare health issues, then comes the devalue and they could be stuck in that god knows how long before discard and we all know those parts are not pretty, so whats to envy.. a temporary high that is destined for hell?
I’m going through it now I don’t have social media but I find myself just trying to find out what’s going on why was I not enough if I gave my all . I’ve just started watching these videos and I’m learning slowly thank you !
This is so interesting. I was in a relationship with someone who, from watching your videos, was an ABSOLUTE covert narcissist, and I would block them on my social accounts so I could detox from them, but they would get so angry and challenge me on why I did that as if it was so unreasonable and immature. I would eventually unblock them after feeling bad, but they didn’t necessarily follow me. It was like they just wanted access to me and my life. And now that I have seen these videos, I realize they wanted to stay in my line of sight in order to stay on my mind, even if I wasn’t on theirs.
My ex has tried to keep it as secret as I can (he’s so sneaky) so he can try and keep me on the side as well - the new supply is someone I was cautious of when we were together and ended up being the reason we broke up because he thought I was ‘too paranoid and untrusting’ - I’m sure he is a narc but then little doubts creep in and I worry that maybe he isn’t and maybe it was just me 😭 maybe they will be happier 💔 I’m so glad I listened to my intuition but Jesus this hurts. 💔
You can get 'hooked' by them. It is the promise, of how good the first time they 'love bombed' you was, ...back when you believed they were this amazing person, & you believed the love was pure.
Now you realized they have this hidden agenda & they are lying to you, to take your life from you, to consume you for themselves.
...but the 'love bomb' phase is such a good feeling experience, & it is really emotionally devastating when the dawning of this understanding happens
...like, wait my love for them is so real, ...so does this mean, they were just 'playing me' ...it hurts & I think because we wish it WAS real, we can get hooked back when we see them love bombing another person.
It hurts & it hurts worse to get 'hoovered' back into their warped reality. So just remind yourself that you are watching this narcissistic person 'love bomb' their next 'trick' 😬 ...because you were their most recent trick, it isn't 'real' with a narcissist, they were not showing you real love, they aren't showing this new person real love... because they don't know how to really love.
I begged and he promised for two years that we’d go on vacation together, he ended it in March after going on a vacation he hid from me, with another woman. Now they look so happy on social media. Keep asking why wasn’t I worth it? Why couldn’t we ever travel together but this woman he claims to have “just met” was instantly given it.
A great lesson I was taught, what you see on social media is a snapshot of what's really going on. It might only be 10% of the real story. It can also be staged or sending a message rather than a real reflection of that dynamic/experience.
My narcissistic ex got married less than four months after I broke up with him. All I can feel is pity for the new supply. Good luck and stay strong, buddy... My guess is the narcissist is now happy to be married so he can start the devaluing phase and this poor guy is now stuck with him.
This video is probably the best video I’ve ever seen about the situation. I wish I would’ve seen it last night when I saw social media. I couldn’t sleep all night but this has really put it into perspective. Thank you
Wow! 😮 I wish I’d of come across these videos 3 months ago would of saved me many many tears!! My ex who after watching these is most certainly a narcissist left me 3 times in the 14 months we were together, 3rd time she didn’t come back (which I thank the lord for every day) within two weeks she was with someone else and it was all over social media, telling each other they loved each other a week later 🙄 absolute madness!!
Your trauma bond video also hit home to me and I still show a lot of signs of still having a trauma bond but your videos have definitely come to me at the exact time, the universe has been my biggest support throughout this time and I have no doubt they guided me to you ❤️🌎💫 thank you!
OK, serious question. How many times do I say crazy in this video? 😅❤🙏
*Think you may have had a relationship with a narcissist?* Download the FREE checklist to see how your experience stacks up to the phases of narcissistic abuse: www.commonego.com/checklist
I counted 6 "crazies".
Common Ego you can never say it enough when it comes to these people! 😥😊
That's it.... I'm going for 10 next time 🤣🤣🤣
@@Alpinewild444 Lol true narcissist are very crazy .
Mike when you realize it never was you, all along, it was them!
She thought I was going to stick around when she broke off our 3 year relationship due to claiming that she met someone new. I just said ok and moved to the other side of town. You won't get the chance to flaunt your new supply in my face. I said good luck, and it wasn't for her but, for him. The narc is done when you're done!
No the narc usually is not done when you are done. I broke off the relationship with the narc "friend". She had made things abundantly clear by upping her behavior because I was calling her to accountability for her behavior. She began the gaslighting in Ernest ( which confirmed in my mind who she was and what she was doing). She lied to someone else committing me to something I told her I hadn't agreed to and thought I'd simply go along with that. When I didn't, she began to play more games, and started taking credit for things I made, and when I called her out publicly, she saw rage. I handed her back something we were doing together ( which she was using to gaslight) and that made her angry. She tried and tried to get me to assist again. She has been hoovering ever since, trying and trying with apologies and gifts to express her well intentions for me, and her well wishes for me. I'm not falling for it.
I love it!!! this is my favorite video. Without Christina I would be a mess,, whenever I’m sad I watch this video and the karma video and it gets me right out of my depression. Everything she says is right to the T
It was in my face, clear as day what was going on. It hurt, I was confused. This was a year ago before I was afraid to confront. Now, I couldn't give a shit. I am no longer following the herd, no longer tied to anybody's expectations.
If I didn't know it or feel it at the time, when I was discarded for a recycle, but the lower value replacement did me a favor. You nailed it again Christina. What a Trainwreck to watch....😁🚂
It's true. It's like a weight off!
Dead right there Robert !!
The narc made a lot of plans with me. To travel and go scuba diving or go on his motorcycle with him cross country. We visited Vegas once and he would always refer back to that trip as one of our best times and that we should go back and elope. I could sense the discard was coming and I triggered him by calling him out so he ghosted me and then went to Vegas and eloped with his new supply 4 months later after taking her to the across country bike trip and scuba trip to Thailand. Yea he absolutely replaced me. And I couldn't be more grateful!
It’s all games. It’s so sad that narcs live that way. They are sad and depressed, anxious and stressed out, but in denial about all of it for their whole life. Keep no-contact everyone
Thank you for your videos. This is exactly what I needed to hear this morning. I know it’s all a show and that he’s fake, but when I see a new picture of them or hear something I always worry that it was me and that he loves her more. I don’t know why I even care, but these videos help ground me and give me strength to keep moving forward 🤍
they dont even give a f about their own kids ... sad thing, mines going through her da da da da phase bc its just easier to say. but its like ahhhh, of course. why cant momma be easier to say. but everything about her is so precious, just her entire existence is stil just awww. baby babble. she switched to lala as i type this tho w/ rasberry bubbles in between ha
Nope. I would also add that if their spouse left them, the next person would be treated worse.
So informative 👏. Thank you so much for this video. These types of videos are helping me recover from this severe narcissistic abuse. I am not jealous i feel bad for his new relationship.
Wow I'm glad I found this video... it's starting to make sense now I was hurt mad and confused.. we broke up after 8 years within less than 2 months he met his new supply and got an apartment for both of them... crazy
They really believe their own nonsense, dont they? I'm so glad I'm out of this. I just feel sorry for the new supply now.
They really do. And it's usually not until you're out that you see it for what it is. I'm so glad to hear you're out. It's a great place to be! 🙏❤
@@CommonEgo you're so right about what it's like to look back on what used to bother me. I can't believe I ever believed a fraction of the crap I took at face value. Never again that's for sure!
These are tough lessons, but there's SO much you can learn. Despite it all, I'm thankful for the experience 🙏❤
@@CommonEgo Sometimes I think you have to interact with multiple ones before you truly recognize the red flags cause each narc. really does present differently. My take now is, if someone is treating me in a way that is causing me stress or distress, whether it is intentional, non intentional, because of childhood abuse, or whatever I need to give them a wide birth and allow them to be responsible for healing themselves. Once I see patterns that are causing distress, even from someone who's been a friend for a long time ( they often don't treat tertiary sources really badly, they reserve this for primary and secondary sources), you believe what they are showing you and allow them to be responsible for their own healing. If you happen to be a tertiary source, and then they move you to a primary or secondary source, that is when they begin to mistreat you. Another friend and I see this pattern in two friendships where it all was fairly ok until primary or secondary sources were removed and they moved us into that role.
You're wonderful. You are so empathic towards the victims of narcs, you have such an amazing understanding of how we feel. Easiest subscribe ever. TY so much!
Ugh!!! He betrayed me and went IMMEDIATELY into a relationship with her. HE IS MY NEIGHBOR .. 2 houses away. She is a total downgrade. She moved in last January 2023. Since that day, he bought a gazebo and outdoor furniture and built her a garden, bought the SAME truck that I bought-same color- and THEN just recently, he traded in the RV he bought for us… for a new one. It’s a ridiculous monstrosity…. Unbelievable
… you explain it perfectly! And yes… it is crazy… still it hurts. I find it so hard to forgive myself that I let the relationship happen. I walked away 1 year ago. I want not ever to think about this nightmare anymore!!! It is still not possible.😢
Why does the narcissist want to punish me with the new supply? I didnt do anything.
Because he is a disgusting person, he doesn't care if you were nice or that you didn't do anything. He just wants to hurt you for his ego
Ditto
Get out hun! You are worth more than that low life, their not human
@@lorabor8967 Agreed, they are incapable of feeling empathy, they do not care if they are hurting you. Even more, they want to do it. They want to ruin you mental health
They are god little g n feel they should be served n worshipped and u/ we failed them! Honey dont even think on that part to hard, the devil always want to punish those he dont devour! U are chosen!!!! U are the light!!!! U Win!!!! N them narcs aint god little g or big G
He tried to disconnect from me from my family and finally realized who he is ❤great wake up call ❤
Thank you Christina. You are right that from a distance we see the crazy and luckily for us, it is not our problem to deal with any more.
I love the fact that you point out 'how ridiculous their behavior is'.
Love your channel, your calm and gentle demeanor, and the way you explain things simply and clearly. Thank you.
What is two years old to you is a new to me thank you for adding this
I honestly don’t think my narc thinks about me one tiny bit.
He went back to an ex in 30 days who I think is also a narc.
She didn’t care about him or what he was doing until he started dating me and she text him (he read some of it to me while we were dating), and told him everything he had ever wanted to hear.
She has a lifestyle he wants and he has a service he is skilled in that enhances her lifestyle, so they are kind of using each other to fulfill a need and each other’s ego.
They were both posting about them in a secretive way that only I would know it meant they were back together.
I literally don’t matter one bit to him and didn’t the moment she said she wanted him back.
I just fulfilled a need he had when she didn’t want him and no one else in his life gave a crap about him.
I didn’t know when we started dating that they had dated. I thought they had just been friends.
He told me about it after we were involved.
Anyone who wasn't in one of these long enough has to trust the fact that these people ultimately become very boring and irritable the longer you stay with them. They hate themselves and can only stay in infatuation phases of relationships to prop themselves up because they're totally empty people apart from that. And they spend their lives chasing that until the aging process exposes them as the bitter fools that no one with real experience or substance wants.
Thank you so much, I will take as my new mantra … “ that is not my crazy “ … love it 🙏♥️
So Happy I found this channel. I dated a women for a 1.5 yrs. Then had her move in with me. I thought in days who is this person. It was the craziest 6 yrs. and ruined my life. No one can comprehend unless they have experience it personally. I thought who is this person...omg. I learned recently.. and found out I am very susceptible to being with one with my personality. I have too much pride.. honor, integrity and a ridiculous huge conscience..etc. Don't lie Strict Mom Have trouble saying know. and treat all people the way you want to be. It has been 14 yrs. and she still manages to find me. I just happen to find the one who cheating on me is not one of her traits but has all the rest. She is obsessed with me but is waining over time. Aging and health problems.
This is really hard specially with having a very handsome ex husband 😭😭 am missing him so much and now he's all over Facebook
Delete FAKEBOOK. I had a highly successful and devastatingly handsome / charming Narc. After everything he has continued to do (years after break up) to me and our son, he is ugly to me now. Think of them as a rabid dog with a beautiful coat. Don't go near it, it would kill you off it had the chance!
This is so powerful. My husband literally sings the song... I am on top of the world... Whenever he has a new supply 😂😂😂
So helpful - thank you! Helped me not loose it tonight!
This just reminded me how much I don't want my ex back I missd him but now I'm back to normal
Oh my goodness, I needed this video so bad. I honestly feel so much better, and my sanity restored. I knew he was dating someone else, but claimed it was just a "'fling" that meant nothing, and that he wanted to get back together with me (Classic hoover!). He said he was "working on himself" and that if I could just give him a little bit of time to "sort himself out", then we could get back together and have a healthy relationship this time. The trauma bonded part of me wanted so badly to believe this. Then he told me that he was going to stay with her instead because they have "a much healthier relationship" and that I would never change. I've been so hurt and blaming myself and thinking, "was I really the toxic one??? Is she actually better than me, and will she really make him a better man?" But I'm actually laughing now. I feel so relieved. If I was toxic it's because I was drinking water from a poison well. Poor woman... I hope she's a quicker study than I was....
you are such a lovely person and so strong and gifted!!!using your own experiences to hep others is so Devine!!! everything you say in your videos is so accurate and so helpful!!! am so blessed that i cam across your videos! its my job to treat personality disorders.....but as a natural empath getting involved with a true narcissist was such an amazing experience!!! no university can teach you what it really feels like to be in a relationship with these people.....thank God i stopped it sooner than later and i am still me!!! your experiences validate what i experienced and i can use it in order to help other powerful loving people to heal. thank you!!!!!!
Today i saw my ex bc he had to pick up his stuff from my house, he told me he is happy and that his new gf and him have things in common. And wants me to leave him alone....And he wishes for me to move on. Did he say that to hurt me or is he really happy. Im so upset 😭😒 after 3 wks no contact he moved on so easy after a 5yr relationship
He is just saying that to hurt you..
Thank you for all of that insight... It is very reassuring... I just dumped my narcissism 30 years.... I tried so many times to get away and he just kept coming back and he still won't stop so I'm moving...
My ex narcissist said his new woman is helping him out financially and he feel sorry for her. I wonder did he ever felt sorry for the help I gave him and his family early on? I just cant wait until the new woman notices that my ex is not a normal man, he will never make you very desirable, he will make her feel hes a better looking than her.
Just met the narc’s new supply! I don’t think he is trying to do anything to me by bringing her over to our son’s event. But I do think that she is a supply he is working through the stages with. Or maybe he found the perfect match/the love of his life 😅 either way, I no longer care. It’s been a long journey but I am here 😊
You helped me a lot tonight! Thank you for your insights. ❤
Wow 😳 needed to hear this .. I’m on day 30 nc after 6 years of rollercoaster moods with the nex.. I am so grateful I’m not with him anymore .. he had me replaced and I met her there she was in my face .. 11 days later he makes it social media official (per friends telling me - I asked them to not give me updates -... she will find out soon enough .. not my problem .. get outta my head get outta my heart .. it wasn’t real
It's so hard to hear when you are going through it as we speak I still like this and all the other videos keep up the good work and thanks.
My husband (soon to be ex) says how Head over heels he is over his new “perfect” supply, her beautiful home, and lovely children. (Who was a friend of mine, so I know what an emotional mess she is) but is still trying to sleep with me and has been blowing off his own children. So no, even though he wants to try to fake it, it isn’t any better.
When you finally start to heal you will see the monsters they are. Love is respect, honestly, loyalty, dedication and the narc is incapable of those traits.
He is treating her much better. She's pretty and has more followers on social media. He had her on line before he discarded me for the 2nd time. I don't kow how I will ever move on from it unless one of us dies first. I can't help but wonder if I would have been skinny and pretty if he would have been kind.
It’s crazy what happens when my emotional “lights” went on. 5 year relationship ended three weeks ago and I can’t even remember what they look like.
My ex narc is like a stranger to me now. I never knew the real person.
People dont worry if they are happy or not. Know that their lives is a big empty bubble. They will always be unhappy hate themselves, and they do not love the new supply.. know you own worth!!!!
My ex husband told his new wife that he left me $100,000 in the divorce. Yeah, I wish. He refuses to keep a job and is just irresponsible with money. So what he is doing now is telling her our children keep asking him for $ and that’s why they are about to be homeless.
Our kids are grown and have good jobs. 2 in the military and the other has her own business. They all said they haven’t asked him for a dime.
She is young and the age of our adult children so OFCOURSE she believes him.
I haven’t seen or spoken to him in way over a decade and wish he would stop using us and stay over there.😰
The other common trait that Christina points out in this video, is their omnipresent need to show off, get confirmation, etc. My narcissist ''friend'' initially discarded me after a proposal to go on a short trip together, which she had denied claiming she had an awfully busy job schedule ahead. You want to know what happened next? In like 2 days or so, she posted on fb an ''open invitation'' for a trip for all the potential available friends'', due to take place on exactly the same time! Actually that was the last thing I ever saw before blocking her! That's how they think guys.
When I was with my Narc, she would often test me by claiming she was often approached by men at work who wanted to date her. Soon after she began to breadcrumb me and became less available for me. I’m sure she was securing the unsuspecting supply from her supposed supply train. I went NC as soon I cleared my mind from all her lies. Never again.
Great video! So helpful!! Thank you!!❤
Yessss I am feeling exactly the way you are talking about ugggh
How ? He. Blocked me out. And started posting photos and things on Facebook. He not doing it to get back at me. Because he doesn’t see me or talk to me anymore. He ghost me when he found his new supply!! They moved in together and engaged after a couple months of spending time.
She. Actually treated my son as a pawn against me to defend her new simp.
This really helped me. Thank you.
Yep - experienced this exact same thing after she monkey branched to her new supply. I almost feel sorry for the poor bastard but he knew exactly what he was doing when she cheated with him, so I have decided they deserve each other and don't give them a second thought.
My narcissistic ex doesn’t post on social media….. I am either witnessing it myself or hearing it from others. Example: he never did anything for my son’s birthday but I just found out from him that he’s at a party for his girlfriend’s daughter. He’s with her over two years before I finally threw him out so it’s not like she’s a new person
My ex narc tried to conceal her new supply for years. I believe she treated him better to a point to protect her security blanket. He is in the military and she wanted the benefits and knowing she would be taken care of. Now he filled a restraining order against her and they are separated. Maybe he had enough, or she got caught cheating on him like she cheat on me with him. Sad part is when I found out about them I tried to warn him it would not be white pickets fences and a tire swing in the front yard.
Really nice top... Very classy
My ex narcs new supply has a LOT OF MONEY. I don't know her, but I knew him. He was GREEDY! So greedy that I paid for our dinners, nights out, and 1/2 of our Vacations. I never knew how much money he made, credit cards, bank accounts, etc. I do know he had a great job that paid well. He loved being near rich people, expensive cars, yachts, and the best clothes. He used & abused me. He future faked me about marriage, including an engagement ring. I'm 11 years out, and I no longer feel love or missing him. I don't know who or where he is today, but I'm sure he's going from one to another. He married the RICH woman only 2 weeks after I left him, and if he's still with her, it's all about the money.
I remember my ex’s ex posted “My exs new girls is probably thinking she hit the jackpot rn poor girl” i ignored it 5 years later I am literally thinking that about his new girl
EXCELLENT VIDEO.....BLESSINGS
I can't even believe I'm back at this stage. Every break up he goes thru, Hoover call happens. Seems his relationships last about 6 weeks (ours was 5 mos before first break up but we were friends for a decade first. Him dating anyone ever was hidden from me) anyway this girl apparently is very intelligent (but yet begged him to date her while we were together for second time so I'm not so sure of intelligent.) He said he's not heartbroken over them breaking up because he was "bored". Idk. I'm over this til death do us part thing. Just puts me back in a bad headspace
Never made it to the end, too many ads, but both of my parents were narcissists and they kept each other going for 62 years. We kids paid all the prices. So not only were we narcissistically abused, we also had the model of two complete narcissists having "the perfect" marriage. So it's pretty hard to understand why it can't work with a narcissist. They catch me off guard every time.
My narc ex would always say to me after I confront him for his shit*y behaviour: “if that’s what you think…” I had to remind him to no avail… it’s not what i think it’s what happened !!! After that he didn’t bother to “win me back”
Johnny depp and Amber heard, the truth will come out even if the karma bus missed a stop, all buses have the same route over and over it will stop at the narcs stop one day.as for the many new supplies they are welcome to her, I’ve got away and I’m staying away.
Depp is the narcissist. She has borderline personality disorder. It ended the way it did because she rocked his junk better than anyone ever has. How can you not see that he is the narcissist and she has the abandonment issues?!
thank you upload this video and share these unique information .These are favors for all victims to feel themselves better
Christina thank you and I appreciate your insight. What is it that made you so well spoken and wise!! Please share:)omg love flea on a dog
I know who he is. Yeah, she's trying to get to me. She did. I'm better now.
im conscious of all he is doing and the impact on my self and i still cant detach.. its all clear to me as hindsight but still im stuck....
I broke today because he told her he loved her in a week!
told her she was the ONE when he had told me the same thing.
told me over the phone he wants to do it right with this one... then I picked myself back the fuck up and blocked all of it pfffft he talks shit lol I'm glad I'm out of there I just feel sorry for my child now.
even tho i am still in the trauma bond, this last blowout was the last drawl. Spent over $500 on her bday, then later on she started to get quiet, 4 years ive learned what the red flags are. The issue started because I said "happy birthday" wrong. Then all the sudden I was cheating with 2 different people. I left and said leave me alone I'm not going to deal with your episode and I went home. I just got a new ball python, i was told if i didnt come back and "be a man" my snake would be gone. I didn't give in. The next day she called and asked for a ride. I said no. I was then threatened if I didnt come back I would be getting arrested and charged with a fellony because she had video of me kicking in her door and stealing my snake. This is quite hard to do from my couch..... I said thats fine report it. Kept getting threats for another 10 hours. Finally a cop showed up at my house and had to search my house. 2 days later she said you need to get over here now your snakes in a toy box and she wasnt going to touch it. What they do is very dangerous to the supply. She wanted me arrested just because I wouldn't give in to forced compliance. This is the first time I have ever had to deal with police and her that I said I want to press changes for false reporting. These people go through life somehow concequence free which makes no sence. None of any of this or the abuse ive went through in 4 years makes sence.
I feel sorry for the supply not the narcissist.
I’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist for 24 years and a different relationship is not what I want or need.
I’m content with being alone and spending time with my children. Narcissistic people always move on to someone else within a day or a week. My ex wife has always jumped into another man’s arms as soon as she was done with me and would always want to come back because she always had something that was wrong with that other guy. I put up with that and physical abuse, verbal abuse again… for 24 years but 20 years in a marriage. Just because of the kids and truly wanting to keep my family together. After she finally divorced me and I was able to find myself through counseling and studying personality disorders I was able to get through the gaslighting and manipulation and pushed her out.
Narcissistic people don’t treat people better in other relationships. Using someone for emotional gain through manipulation is not treating someone well it’s abuse.
You are so good ! I'm truly a fan of yours. Great advice.
Thank you Mylee!
I'm struggling with the following: I blocked the narc after I saw him with the new supply. I've heard he says I'm being childish and I'm sure he believes I'm jealous (I was but I'm better now). I'm trying to not care about what he says or thinks and I want to remain no contact for my sake. Am I doing the right thing?
Blocking him does not mean you are childish or petty, it means he's so toxic that you do not want him to have access to you. let him think what he wants, you know yourself and how keeping no contact will bring you nothing but peace and calmness. you won't get caught up in what he's doing and you'll spend your energy on things that are worth spending your energy on. I hope it is still going well for you, well done on not giving him a reaction to his opinions and well done for going no contact x
Blocking him is the best thing that u will ever gift urself they are not worth ur love , energy and ur time save that for someone who will treat u with respect and understanding 🙂👍
Your videos are spot on!