They Text But Won't Make Plans - What Does It Mean? | Dismissive Avoidant Attachment
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ต.ค. 2024
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In this video, I talk about what it means when you have been texting with someone for a long time but they haven't taken the opportunity to meet.
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I’m Thais Gibson, welcome to my channel and thank you for stopping by!
This is a channel designed for you, to be used as a resource to create lasting transformation in your personal and professional life. Here you’ll receive an ongoing series of personal development and spiritual growth videos for you to expand your awareness and find resolution and deep understanding within.
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Bottom line is if you show interest in them and they don't want to reciprocate move along. If you truly mean something to them they will put the effort in
@@johncooper7242 Thias is awesome she has uncanny timing. I love her punctuation ❗❣️
Ditto, James
Nobody truly means something to DA, who will always find flaws in you to create the emotional distance. Therefore DAs won’t make an effort to anything
@@brookelight2090 Agree. They need to take a long hard look at themselves. Do the introspective and healing work. They cannot handle realistic critical feedback, expectations , being called out, or ultimatums.
That’s not necessarily true. I don’t mind constructive criticism, but ppl like to “criticize “, but offer no solution or suggestion afterwards. I’ve never met a person who DID like ultimatums or “being called out”, but I wouldn’t do either to a DA, both will backfire on you
BLOCK AND DELETE their number if a person makes no effort to call you and get together with you after 30 days. I learned to do that and feel much better and free because of it !
After 30 days? After 3 days good bye
Why blocking? Shall we act like DAs? This blocking culture is also toxic. Just delete. If the person comes back out of nowhere to talk to you, just say: your time has passed.
Thank you, really needed that
Funny thing is they already deleted your number 29 days before
intro ends @1:50
Omg I was about to switch off so annoying lol
A dismissive avoidant is used to being chased. It gives them an ego. To the point that everything you say gets picked apart to be interpreted as pushy, needy, annoying. They are arrogant, let them be.
lol
Ok can’t help but giggle a bit
🙄
Accurate
Its laughable when you think about it lol
I really don’t want to speak badly about DAs but I let something like this go on for 8 months until I got frustrated and hurt and blew up and cut him off. I am trying to learn how to express my boundaries better
Imo it's not about expressing your boundaries. Imagine one of my boundaries was i wanted someone with blue skin and this person keeps showing up with green skin. You can express your boundary all you like but you ain't ever gon change people.
@@asmrfoodieuk7965 I disagree. A self boundary can be...after being contacted, I want to either zoom, or meet in person within a week.
Reason behind it may be, to make sure the person IS in my vicinity, and IS available.
Many will string people along, never intending on meeting or to boost their egos.
So, when I was on site, my self boundary was to meet within 10 days. If not, I say goodbye, and delete!
This keeps out those whom are not interested in what they SAY they are. They put actions behind their words!
@@ambivalent5842 the average person who works during the week is no way going to meet you within 10 days 😆 theres boundaries and then theres impossible limitations like this.
Damn... 8 months?
@@asmrfoodieuk7965 that's bull shit. You can easily see someone on the weekend. Stop the cap.
I stopped texting. Nothing but games and men behaving badly who are married, girlfriend, baby mommas, side chicks, live ins, etc.
Facts
I would never continue to text after two weeks…to me texting is not a relationship and no phone call is a red flag! If someone has all these insecurities they shouldn’t be dating and putting that on unsuspecting people…
I get bored out of my mind with texting…
I am diligently working on not internalizing anyone's actions or lack of actions towards me. If I am still seeking my sense of worth and value from someone else, it usually is unresolved trauma from those formative years rearing its head, when I wanted the attention, validation, acknowledgment from my primary caregivers. Today, I get to heal this.
Beautiful!! 💕 I’m a recovering FA and I just started dating an FA so I’m trying to keep this in mind so I don’t take things so personally
Pls can you share how youre healing it pls?
Lydia Tic talking to your inner child is super helpful. Self soothing it’s called. There’s really good you tubes on it. You can get in tune with yourself and put your hand on your heart, visually hugging your inner child, things like that but also, you talk to your inner child...”I am here for you, I hear you and I am not leaving you, I care for you and love you, you’re safe with me. Tell me what you need and I will give that to you...you are loved and lovable, etc.” close your eyes while you do it and take time. You’ll find it is incredibly peaceful and you’ll come out differently
Lydia Tic join the private Facebook group as well if you’re not in it
@@MB-Music23 i havent paid for the courses and i cant atm, can i still join?
I’m FA and for me in dating it’s always easier to meet up for coffee/drink than texting for weeks or even months. Imo it’s also more efficient in terms of time/energy costs - it’s usually possible to see if you can get on well with someone after 30 mins of live communication than texting with someone for weeks only to get disappointed afterwards when finally meeting in person.
Yes exactly I’m an FA too and I need to know if we can carry a convo in person. I can have texting chemistry with anyone but doesn’t mean it won’t be awkward in person.
I’m the same way, realizing I’m a recovering FA rather AA
@@suras8984 100%
@B Real what are you even talking about because it sounds completely unrelated.
Why dont you pick up the phone and ring then. 😭😭😭😭
I'm gonna pull a Teal Swan right now and say this: DA's were put on this Earth to teach the rest of us the importance of knowing our boundaries/needs, standing by them, and respecting and not abandoning ourselves. They're catalysts of healing of our abandonment wounds through tough love/karmic debt.
Lol no, no specific group exists just to give healing/purpose to another. It's super insulting to say that DAs, who are human beings, were put here to teach others? They are their own people with their own purposes. Maybe have some compassion instead of putting other attachment styles on a pedestal
I agree with both of you! Personally, the DAs in my life have been critical for teaching my how unhealthy self-abandonment as an AA/FA is. But also, DAs have their own unique personalities and purpose and they bring value to the world in their own special ways :). We all have lots to learn from each other in becoming more secure ❤
I do agree to an extent, and we teach them a little something too. Nothing happens to us, it happens for us. I have healed and grown exponentially through the result of painful interactions with a DA.
I never said that teaching the rest of us hard lessons was the *only* purpose of the DA. It's obvious each of them has their own unique purpose. What I meant was that all the pain that comes from a relationship with a DA has a greater purpose - it's not pain for pain's sake. They are actually teaching us very important lessons that would probably pass us by if it weren't for their existence.
@@smallgay6000 Dude, every single one of us was born to teach someone else (or many) valuable lessons. It's not insulting, it is a higher purpose. Sometimes it's a soul contract between two or more, sometimes it's a whole group that will play out a part and teach lessons. And unless you've been living under a rock since you were born, I bet you have taught some people lessons too. And I doubt you would find that insulting...
(As for that thought not being compassionate in your opinion, maybe you'd find it more compassionate to just ignore all of that and say "DA's are pain, avoid at all costs", like most people think? Seriously.)
I don't buy into this. If you wanted to meet up, you would. Let's stop the bs, and cut out the text buddy pen pal crap. This is why dating sucks
Why ,why if we all are adults here,why you just communicate that you just want sex,that you are not looking for serious romance,or that you fear to a relationship ,nobody is gonna die if you communicate properly,lets make more normal to talk this things about PLEASE !!
Amen!
Because no one would fuck them, simple unless they were just as twisted as them. X
@B Real of course I understand that there are people who struggle with communication and intimacy in this days and thats OK what I think is not OK is to excuse that behavior I mean is not normal being uncommunicative ,we need as society normalIze communicate this type of things there is nothing bad in ask for sex or intimacy specially for women fuck of the slut shaming guys try not may awkward when a girl try ask for sex and make it more normal please
Its not that easy as u think. There is one girl I met over 2 years ago. First I was interested in her friend but after year I found Im actually attracted to her not to the first girl. And yeah first one rejected me so now I DONT WANT TO LOOK LIKE dickhead and jump from one girl to another from the same circle you get it? Its not easy. How would you feel if one guy or girl wanted to fuck your friend but when she reject him/her and then he/she comes to you? I want relationship but its still the same shit, cant just tell her, hey sorry your friend didnt give a fk about me lets try now be more than just friends...
@@Lukasz.Kaa09 I never said that is easy ,We need to do it more easy,I understand your point,clearly you must have delicacy to communicate things,be assertive but kind if she feels bad or have a conflict because you first liked their friend and their friend reject you,and for that rejection you develop feelings for this new girl,tell her,again if youare not and asshole and she thinks that you are for that well is not your problem ,but if you want this girl be patient and wait for the story with the other girl to pass,give time to your self ,If you stay quiet and have no conflict with that, that's fine, the problem is if when you don't communicate and generates conflict in you !!
You cannot get to know someone through the phone. People need to learn this.
I feel like DAs just ideally want a virtual relationship.
They all came out during a crisis ready for a virtual relationship during this pandemic, I'm telling you 😂 it's been like their ultimate conditions for intimacy
@@evie9239 😂😂😂 A socially distanced relationship.... must be heaven for them lollll
Or a situationship (my scenario)
@@suras8984 exactly!! No thanks!
@@NightOfCrystals and mine 😒
My recent ex was DA and all I wish for him is understanding of himself and healing. I'll admit it was emotionally challenging to be with him but even in that period I could really feel his struggle to express his feelings and felt sad for him. There is a certain freedom in able to see and understand your feelings and for him to not have that, aches my heart too.
I decided to stay in touch with him bcoz he is a good, respectful, genuine person. I hope people don't just see someone's attachment style and judge them (or judge their own self). Instead decide on the effort and respect someone in giving in their relationship.
Much love to all the kind respectful effort-giving DAs out there. We're with you x
I’m with you... but struggling not to reach out to him, knowing he’s hurting inside as ALL humans do, regardless of their attachment style. Hugs to you.
@@amati7940 thank you! I totally understand, when you care for someone regardless of their attachment style, it's difficult.
I did try to help him out by sending him a video or two about attachment style to get him started but I didn't see him getting interested in it and I didn't want to push him for it so left it at that.
At the end, no matter how much we ache, we have to remind ourselves, we can only help them and support them but it's not right (or fair) for us to lose ourselves in trying to "save" someone else. It's rightfully his decision whether to change or continue living the same way. He has to make that decision and effort for himself.
Remind yourself, it's not your responsibility to fix someone else. Hope this helps. Much love and hugs to you xx
Great video, Thais! I’m Secure and my timeframe is a week of good conversation to meet. When your intent is serious, you should want something more personable. I wouldn’t wait 4-6 weeks to meet someone.
@B Real even during a pandemic, outside dining is available, there are parks, ability to walk around.
6 weeks? Holy cow. I wouldn't wait that long to simply meet for a coffee/beverage. Seems a lot easier to meet in person to assess interest.
Only weirdos would accept 6 weeks anyone who is normal and has a normal relationships would get rid of them after a week of not meeting, I never had this problem dating, if they never met after a week they were gone , hence you get rid of dead wood and people with avoidant attached styles. X
@@Miriam-ul4ke I’m at 2+ weeks of a texting situation I am now cutting off
@@jennasittler3142 before you cut off say this, boys texted men call. X when he calls ask him if he's meeting up, if he gives excuses then cut it off, stop texting it's easy calls take more work for them. X
@@Miriam-ul4ke he never wished me a happy Valentine’s Day. He never communicated at all feb 13. He knew I was in hospital emergency feb 12. He asked me if I watched the Super Bowl last night and I never responded. After 10 days of excellent lengthy messaging , this is the last 4 days 😣 not doing this.
@@jennasittler3142 ok that's different, these people always disappear when you go hospital it's normal for them. I will tell you something honestly, you either accept him like this the way he is and just stop taking it personally, get another guy and see them both or move on. Seeing two guys works but if you can't handle that then move on this is a situationship and will be that forever when he. Wants, they never change. X
I knew this already but it was a great reminder. It also ties in with something called Covert Avoidance. Thank you for reminding us to center ourselves and shift expectations. If you’re isolated and can’t meet up, I’d say there should be a phone call or even video chat. Remember to be honest with yourself AND the other person about where things are what YOU need. It’s ok if they can’t give you that
I saw my DA last year June....waited months then told him its notworking out...then he came bk in November...honestly...if he wants to meet up he will have to initiate but for now i told him just a friendship is fine. In any type of relationship I need more than texting!
See, thats the problem. Don't even be friends. You are an orbiter now. A group of people they can use as they see fit
@@mathews0618 sigh
@@melc8388 oh my god. Never be friends.
@@rk-ve6jy i dropped him....he never changed
I've been on/off with my DA for years and she of course is in total control of communication. It takes place via text and responses can come much later from her and she'll pick and choose what parts of my previous message to respond to which prevents conversation from flowing. Of course I now purposely leave it for a short while before picking up a message unless I feel we're in the middle of something. I've never been into text messaging anyway, but I've lost interest in conversing with her that way. For us to thrive we need proper conversation, and I don't think she realises that she is stopping that from being possible.
I HAAATE when DA’s only answer part of the fucking message, that shit pissed me off completely
Texting is not communication. Once you understand that. You will be have peace and understanding
@@ineedhoez What do you mean exactly? I regard it a one form of communication, although I don't personally feel that connected when texting. I'd have face to face over texting any day.
@@BabyFaceRose yeah selective replies. It just stunts the bonding experience which they subconsciously set out to do.
Or a delayed response so much so that the conversation has been forgotton about.
Frustrating behaviour
@@dannywholuv yes super frustrating ☹️
After 6 weeks, I probably should have called it quits with my DA. But I was so interested in him that I hung in there. We went quiet an entire month, and didn't see each other for 3 months at one point. But when we came together it was as if nothing changed from the last time. He didn't address the issue that kept us apart either. Like the wind blew and it was nothing of consequence. 🙄
Get out. This wont change. Is this what you feel you deserve?
@@ineedhoez This was last summer. I actually dated him a little longer and then he cut things off because we were developing a connection. He's a good person but filled with issues. Poor guy is a mess.
Can literally count the times we met up in 2 years
Lol!
same here, only almost 4 years now
Try years. It doesn't matter what it means, nothing happens so it's better to find an actual real person to have a relationship with
One dismissive avoidant txts me every few months saying empty promises to have plans and does this over and over and OVER again..
I just experienced this. DA texting for a month, but flakes/ghosts on all plans. They aren't interested in u.
Starts at 1:50
"I miss you" we are both off that day...
Also your makeups been looking flawless lately!! I must say!
This texting series is so helpful, thank you Thais!
This is the best analysis of this subject I've heard.
This means that you set the standard and move on if they don't meet it!
I’m sure this comment section will be kind and understanding towards DA’s and not just everyone talking badly about their DA ex..
When one is grounded in their sense of self, there is no need to talk poorly of anyone. Happy Healing to all!
@@sophiafara5997 But people with anxious attachment styles aren't 'grounded in the self'... hence...
@@silvershadow7655 I can only speak for me. I identify as anxious attachment who has made a choice to work towards healing the childhood wounds that caused my attachment style. We are all responsible for our individual healing and boundaries we set. I believe in healing for all attachment styles.
@@sophiafara5997 Exactly. And I identify as a DA.
There’s no need to trash anyone but there’s also nothing wrong with talking openly about the ways others have hurt you. Certain things just suck! A lot of my issues connecting with people are because they are ignorant or fearful towards my disability. I can acknowledge that without saying “screw all abled people!”
I also have lots of love for and miss my DA ex dearly but I don’t like the fact that they ghosted me. I understand their issues and diagnosis very well but understanding only explains behavior, it doesn’t excuse it.
There was a guy who chatted with me for 5 months before finally wanting to meet up. I’m not interested in a pen pal and am too busy for that but I was polite and would respond from time to time. Anyway, we met up and now he won’t leave me alone and wants to meet up all the time lol
How did that workout? Sounds like maybe he was an FA
I’m not interested and have said so but he still asks to see me repeatedly despite me declining. I also never reach out first and he still initiates contact. I’m not sure what else to do. I’ve already been very blunt. I actually think he’s an Anxious attachment style.
@@AD-hh6dd very interesting! This is a good lesson for you maybe on creating and executing your boundaries! Thais would ask “what do you need?” In this moment? Wishing the best for you in the outcome you desire!
Lolol
@@AD-hh6dd watch out ! Sounds like obsessive behavior
Also my ex-DA has now been texting me for 2 years without any sign of wanting to meet me. It’s definitely going nowhere lol, good to know.
What do those conversations look like at this point? Are they totally surface level, with minimal depth, like conversations about the weather? Do you find after oversharing you get a a super uninvolved response like, "that's nice."?
Lol! Why would you let that foolery go on so long?
@@twovthree it really is my fault, and the circus can only go on if I let the clown perform for the audience (me) lol. I take accountability. My therapist said I likely had a trauma bond due to the intermittent reinforcement. He would be hot and cold. It gave me false hope, I was always chasing the carrot that he was dangling. Gross
@@jordanwoods728 he’s comfortable with surface level convos, as soon as I get “deep” or talk about anything meaningful... he leaves. I have a parent with a terminal illness and when I told him, he said “I’m sorry” but beyond that never even asked to see if they are still alive. It’s surface level convos and anything with depth or emotion will be met with silence or bizarre responses. I honestly don’t even know what he gets out of our interactions. I liked him a lot as a person, and it seems he very wounded. I’m a nurturing caring type so he probably views me as some pseudo mom lol
@@SK-no2pp, sorry to hear your reality. It sounds really familiar. My ex of 13 years is DA. I assume there is a serious trauma from her childhood that I was never told about; likely that she has blacked out of her memories. I forced her to cut me off because I wouldn't settle for the fake relationship she was offering. Best decision I ever made so I could truely move on. I'd still like answers, but they certainly won't be coming from her. Hence I prowl Thais' page from time to time. Thanks for sharing your story.
Oh Lord. If you don’t ask me out after 2 weeks of chatting I’m gone. No thanks.
Ok you want to go out
I matched with a guy on hinge and he asked me to meet up the very next day. Said why waste time and we spent a lot of time together for 2 weeks. Then he said he was busy and kept ignoring me. He eventually told me on Xmas day that he decided he wasn’t into me after like 4 weeks of me being completely baffled. Has been quite unkind to me, was ignoring me, making out I’m too much I’m needy I’m intense etc despite him initiating that intensity from day 1. I can’t figure out this guy cause he seems like Jekyll and Hyde. Just wish I’d not had the misfortune of meeting him now 😓
Not sure if you celebrate Christmas but to do that on a Holiday is very strange. Even sadistic.
Sorry sounds like a connection I had :( don’t waste even more time trying to figure him out. The answer is he doesn’t want to connect and you (we I’m in same boat) may never know the why. It sucks, it hurts, I get it.
He just got bored of you no biggie move on
Run!!! He showed you who he is. Believe him!!!
What if they do make plans but cancel day before/day of?
Thanks for this video it’s put my mind at ease. Now I know I wasn’t asking for a lot and he had no intention to change. I dodged a bullet.
I haven’t even watched it yet but I will now!! Wow ! Perfect timing !
They just use people to satisfy their own dimished bandwidth and have no intention of being there for anyone else. Selfish through and through
Communicating with DAs can make anyone become Anxious. 😵💫 Not worth it. We all need to collectively not put up with their shit and let them start seeking help on their own timeline.
1 meet up in 4 years. I'm over it but she still texts me a lot. She even text me when she was out with her boyfriend 4 days ago. How crazy is that?
😮
Because of covid I would give it a bit more time to meet. However, communication should build. If it’s just texting then leave the person alone.
also in long distance scenarios, I guess!
I'm a FA but when I'm on the avoidant side I do this as well, if they don't make plans i get anxious and later I lose interest, if they do I get avoidant.
You sound spastic
Love this channel, currently reading on this right now!
Hey is it possible to make a video on healing from the damage done by DA ex.. he just cut me off i have been questioning myself since
In my case almost 2 years.he has never asked me out to go for coffee. I see him in a work environment and talk every single day even after hours but hasn't made any effort to go out. Promised to make me dinner and go for gin tasting....I'm still waiting.
Thanks for sharing! This helps me to
Understand where I am and who I am dealing with. 💚✨
Thais, you look beautiful!
Thanks Thais! Could you also cover this topic for an FA attachment style? Where they say they like you and are available to talk but are not aggressive about taking things forward..
My Da ex was ok at the beginning, meeting once a week.
But then it transformed to once a month 😑
She used her child as the main reason for not being available. Thats ok but it was becoming obvious there was more to it. Expecially after 16 months and all these promises to introduce the children which never materialised.
She just didnt want to get that close.
I’m kind of embarrassed to say that I’ve been talking to a much younger man off and on for 5 months. He says he does want to meet me, he says there is no one else. I’ve invited him to my home and he has not taken any action to come toward me. My feelings for him are so strong and enduring. He’ll go away for a couple of weeks and come back. I’m really torn 😩
VERY INTERESTING, And I recognize this pattern in some men I have communicated with. These are those I meet on line. In the beginning they make me feel like they have really reached out to me. Though there are cases where I quickly notice that their attention span fades. Some of these men are just into attention\flirting others can be into befriending of reasons unknown.
What is difficult that it can become stronger and then you can even bond through communicating though it can also get vaguer and vaguer. In the end you might feel they are hiding though what happens is that THEY will turn things around and eventually tell you its you who is hiding.
They do this when you start to ask questions, when you are showing you are making an effort to come down from the rosy clouds. Its never easy to say what is behind this, though if someone does want to get to know me, I would suggest getting into phone calls, video calls. IF they are genuinely into finding a connection they will respond positively to this.
If not then I usually just let go. I might not delete them because sometimes a person can really be quite complicated. You never know their background. It can take time to really get to that foundation. But in my humble opinion its best to wait until THEY contact you. Often eventually you will get a good conversation, even if thats the only one. Usually they will get in touch again if you keep silent.
Else just move on with your life. Focus on the good things. Dont judge because someone out there MIGHT just really need your light. There can be a reason why this person uses social media only OTHER than that they are just flirty or needy, try to accept that each person is different.
I would think the dismissive avoidant would wait the longest. Soooo, if it’s been 6 weeks, then it’s not gonna happen with anyone!!
Thank you for keeping it real Thais!
Women have orbiters that they txt for validation. No plans- tell her to kick rocks
If you're wanting more but are not getting more.
Usually one of 2 things:
1) We honestly don't want more. In which case. All you have to do is ask.
2) We are afraid of being rejected and are unsure of how you will respond to our advance. In which case. All you have to do is ask.
Pretty simple
Well@ i have known this guy for 1 n half year, as a friend, later on we decided to see where things go, but due to covid we couldn't meet at that time, but anyways we continued to talk, for almost 6 to 8 months,he also mentioned even he was looking something serious, plans for meeting were delaying and he wanted to me to move and meet him, later on finally we met in November, and it was all good, he asked me to this girlfriend, but still felt like he wasn't stepping up, finally he shifted to my city for his work, already 15 days over, he hasn't made any plans to meet, in between i have been quite pushy at times, as i am a FA, and finally told him, i can't do this, he thought i was just bluffing, but it seems very hard for me, and whenever i ask him, are we are on the same page, he never mentions anything clearly, i guess he never had any intentions, he just wanted to talk... Can i do anything about it?
@@komalchaudhari2046 I can only speak for my own self here, so take this with a grain of salt.
It seems as though he wants to, but just doesn't know how to drop his guard fully. I'm not going to pretend to know what else goes on that you may have unintentionally omitted. I know for my own self that I keep distance as a way to keep my own space available to me, so I can at least be vulnerable with myself and in my own company. He can very well just be finding it difficult to follow through on the next steps. If you can't wait for him, don't.
Even alluding to feelings of vunerability in conversation can make me break out in sweat and being unguarded in the presence of someone Im romantically entangled with makes me want to run screaming headlong through a brick-wall. So chances are he's afraid of it going badly, now that it's becoming more real for him. Though I have to be honest, at a year and a half he may not be looking to push himself much further with you. Or alternatively if he did move out your way (which is a huge indication that he is doing his best) and is setting up his new life he's probably taking his time and may need his time in adjusting.
This is a conversation for the 2 of you to have obviously. Though if you do I suggest asking him how he is adjusting to his new circumstance, if there is something that you can do to help, and most importantly; tell him how you are doing without using it pick a fight or make an unfair demand of him, voice your concern in a mature way and watch what he says.
Worst case; Fair is fair and if you can't wait anymore or are finding this dynamic unhealthy for you. I don't think he would want you to harm or exhaust yourself at his expense.
@@XxTrathielxX thank u so much, means a lot...
If it's #2, then the answer doesn't really matter. A minimal amount of risk and courage is required to function.
Ok what if you ask over and over and make very clear you are in need of an honest answer but there is no wrong answer. So no judgment just please be honest. And they will not answer the question. No matter how it's put to them . No matter how much the information would benefit the situation and both parties involved?
Any insight would be much appreciated.
Ok but what to do if im DA and want to change? I pushed so many good girls and now I pay for it...Want to change but where to start when nobody even wants to talk to me anymore ...
He just doesn’t like you - it’s not a personality disorder
Right 😄
Yea simple as that or keeping his options open
3-6 weeks for Canada DA to chat before they decide to meet up? Lol that's not happening then. I'd try to meet up within the week of chatting if not wasting my time or chasing. I don't want to wait to see if there is possibly a connection just like I didn't watch game of thrones cuz I was told I'd need 8 episodes before liking it. I ain't waiting 8 hours to asses if I even want to continue
Yep this is my very problem.
She likes other more dramatic, I do love everything about her. What she stands for she is my mirror and my roll 🎆Model 🎇 & our love is eternal.
Thais. What microphone are you using? Increase the quality and you will get more views. At a bare minimum use a zoom mic ($200) and record audio separate from video and sync up. If you need help reach out to me. My friend DJ Dais is an expert. You have such a beautiful voice. It deserves a high quality recording instrument
I met a guy in a restaurant and he was asking me the first two week to see me most of the time. .After. we met for 3 times then he was just texting me every day but didnt ask me out any more for almost 8 days.I dont know why he changed suddenly .He used to asked me to see him before every day after work but now its just taxing .
what is going on?
Found the video I wanted!!! Love your channel!
@THAIS please 🙏🏼 can you explain further what you mean by a shrunken emotional bandwidth for a DA? Like what is that about... why would outside stressors effect them in terms of pursuing a romantic love interest? If u have any videos on this or could make one I would massively appreciate it. Thank you
Agreed. Like I understand a shrunken emotional bandwidth to an EXTENT but I feel a more in depth explanation would make things a lot clearer in understanding them.
6 weeks?! Lol, if he doesnt make plans within 2 weeks after first meeting Im out
True
Yes, I keep waiting for her , but she just won't initiate or progress the relationship. It's like she expects me to do all the work and make all the effort, pay all the bills, but wants an 'equal' relationship..
You can't make this s## up it's so absurd!
what if they don’t text and don’t make plans lmao
That’s probably their ideal relationship 😅
I dont text specific person and dont make plans but i still really want her. It just super complicated, and dont really know what to do...feel like I've lost love of my life
@@Lukasz.Kaa09 Would you please share more about your feelings? I know it can be hard to put your finger on it, but I think that even a little bit of insight would help me and others. Your situation sounds a lot like my DA -- after we broke up, he posted songs that sounded like the cries of a wounded animal, yet will not text me.
4 months for me talking close to daily to my DA over discord without meeting -.- we did meet before that atleast once a month but at the beginning every week then it got less and less
Should you delete the number?
She will text but won't talk on the phone. She broke no contact last week. And it's nothing but text. I hate texting . What should I do
She makes me feel like she is doing me a favour.... So am getting rid....
I feel like the relationship last longer when your not up each others ass all the time . I don't mind it tbh . Maybe because I have my own issues .
I wish the first 2 minutes would never be a commercial… If the content is great, I’ll search out for more… the sales part at the beginning is off putting
I'm a FA leaning DA and I tend to do this. Most people don't wait and that's how I know you're not worth my time. Patients and slow/steady progress is what I prefer instead of a rushed messy situation. Plus I'm not interested in getting physical with any man that's what most men want nowadays with this hookup culture. I also have huge anxiety when it comes to meeting people. So if you're constantly going to push me into meeting its really just going to turn me off. Usually when I do meet them, they also now expect me to hang out with them ALL the time. Like whyyyyy? Just thinking about it gives me anxiety. People need to learn that good things take time. Where are you rushing to? Anyway I prefer dating DA's, they understand me more regarding the matter of timing😂
Nah, if you are texting and asking her out and she will not get together, it is just low interest. Women are pretty socially adept and know what signals they are sending out by doing certain things. If she likes you, she knows she will have to make a date or you will take it as she is not interested. Maybe like three weeks tops. If you ask her out more than once and still she is not saying yes, it is not DA, it is low interest or she just wants the validation and attention of you chasing her when she is not interested in you.
At least yours texts. Mine won't even do that. You know who I am talking about Thias. Her name starts with T.
I don't have the patience to wait 6 weeks. 😆
Lol why do they even want to date it baffles me lol
So gorgeous girl🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤
Its opposite he makes plan, but doesn't text much.
Frustrating situation!!!!!!!!!
2 months ago she said she misses me.. I was in NC for since . She texted me Friday about how her new job wanting to contact me for a reference.. d
In those 2 months she keep follows me on Ig both my personal and busy account.. likes all my stuff but I’m not following her.. confused because seems interested but doesn’t make plans… anyone ?
It can mean they're not really interested. Keeping you as a maybe or as a backup plan/option or sideline. It can be gameplaying. Agree with your reasons.
Jonathan Aslay says date sites have become a form of prostitution. Primarily for hookups. Susan Winters has a podcast. Why They Lost Interest. And Window Shoppers and Intentionals.
Im dealing with this right now with a woman who has been tramatized. (raped) trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. I believe trauma plays a part in someone who wants to just text and not meet. However, its been abiut 6months now and i dont know if i can do it any longer. I care for her but this is very new to me. I even tried calling her but i get no answer via phone . I just vet yet anither text. Any advice when dealing with a rape survivor anyone??
It’s a really sad situation, but it’s her responsibility to heal her wounds or get professional help. Do not crucify yourself dear. Being in contact with somebody who is not attentive to your needs for months is emotionally abusive too
❤️
I was waitng for 4 months lol
I met my DA after 8 months of texting
I've was insecure
2:40
*WHY DOES MY COMMENT KEEP DISSAPPEARING* ❓‼️❓‼️❓‼️ WTF?!
damn you look like Khloe kardashian lol