"The plants are carnivorous, I've lost half my squad to foot-rot, and they have spiders the size of battle tanks. Reminds me of home." - Catachan Sargeant.
to get all nerd on you the exact quote is "We've run into scorpions the size of battle tanks. Three men died from Eyerot last week and I've sweated enough to fill a lake. Emperor help me, I love this place, it's just like home!" - Captain Rock of the Catachan III "Green Devils", commenting on Varestus Prime [Source: Codex: Catachans (3rd Edition)]
Fun fact: the Kroot auxiliary units aren't allowed to eat Catachans, because whenever a Kroot eats one, they almost immediately start having authority issues and become obsessed with red bandanas
My favorite Catachan Fact is that apparently the disregard for authority and love of red bandannas is encoded on a _genetic level_ within them - in one story, Kroot started eating Catachans and took on the same traits of favoring red bandannas and disrespecting their Tau officers.
@@Anonie324 Ask and you shall receive - it's in Commander Shadow (or A Commander's Shadow?) by Brent Campbell. You'll be able to find an excerpt or 2 or 3 on r/40klore.
I think this quote summarizes The Catachan Jungle Fighters best. "We've run into scorpions the size of battle tanks. Three men died from Eyerot last week and I've sweated enough to fill a lake. Emperor help me, I love this place -- it's just like home!" -Captain Rock of the Catachan III "Green Devils," commenting on Varestus Prime
Don't forget about the catachan face huggers. A creature which for reasons beyond comprehension smugglers thought would make a good pet and consequently now infests underhives across the imperium.
to be fair, forest face hugger parasites are probably one of the lighter things that infest the dark pits of hive worlds. no hate towards the damned thing, but when your competition is gene stealer cults, nurgle worshippers, mutated abhuman dens, criminal gangs so bad they make south american drug lords look like a pacifists, and often some mix of the list, some random plant that kills you is pretty low down the list of "reasons i would die on a hiveworld"
So what you mean to tell me some fucking smuggler. Did the exact same thing that they did with old one thought? Oh, this would be very good. Let's smuggle it and did not think about. Hey, let's not smuggle a facehugger. Or you know a giant red pissed on xenomorph. And people wonder why don't like the imperium. They got retards like this bug life forever
“Face-Eater,” and they didn’t think they’d make great pets. They look like towels, so the Spire nobles thought “Duuur mehbeh dis will help control da rats!” And so they unleashed a planets worth of the fucking things into the Necromundan underhive. Needless to say, they got out of hand. Now everyone on Necromunda has to observe their towels _very_ closely, lest they exit a fresh shower and suddenly find themselves in a completely different kind of bath.
I love the mental image of Guilliman on his flagship staring at the report on a tablet, silent for a few long moments, then letting out a surprised "Huh..."
My new headcanon is that Catachan is a rebel Tyranid with individually. 75% Mortality rate is the planet being firm but fair. It's teaching humans to fight the Nids on purpose. Sort of like a grimdark Gaia figure.
The fact that this would actually fit on the lore imo. Like the planet was already really dangerous but the tyranids tried to do what they always do but their synapse tyranids died and now they are part of the ecosystem making the planet a death world, but now so much time passed that even if tyranids came to the planet again the "off shoot" tyranids wouldn't recognize their ancestors anymore
Krieg corpsman: *"Life has no meaning..."* *Dies and falls flat on the mud, Walter White style* Catachan guard: *"Life has no meaning! YEAH!"* *Unleashes prometheum on the unsuspecting ork population*
Calling Chaos Space Marines "Evil Master Chiefs" and Catachan's "Saiyans" is exactly why I love this channel so much lol. Always have the best references.
This is why I love 40k because you can enjoy hearing about a carnivorous jungle planet while an army of rambos run around on it. It’s bonkers and so much fun.
Ciaphas Cain actually does lead a squad of Catachan in the audio drama "the devil you know" which involves a jungle world being attacked by tyranids From what I remember they get along alright, Cain is thrilled to be working with a squad that knows how to survive, and the Catachan don't seem to have any issues with him (probably because he actually listens to and follows their advice). They also seem to get along well with Jurgen, because real recognise real
Its like a predator recognising a predator, they know the man is deadlier than his smell. Tho my favourite Cain lore is that there is a whole sect of Tallarn who worship Cain as a prophet of the emperor like hes Maudib from Dune
I like how "Jungle Fighters" doesn't just refer to them fighting with jungle tactics, they of course do that, but they also LITERALLY fight the jungle.
I destinctly remember a short story about Cain being paired up with the Jungle fighters, and true to his nature, Cain avoided them at all costs only to beat some type of Drukhari in a deul by threatening to kill himself, rather than get taken and tortured (the threat may have been an honest attempt). The Jungle fighters saw him avoiding them as an example of his independence, gaining their respect by accident, as per usual
My grandpa was a vietnam vet and the catachan hold a special place in my heart To me they’re the true heroes of the imperium Not a mutant in a power suit Just the skill to kill
I am working on a fanfiction involving a commissar in a Catachan regiment. One of the jokes is he's just as swole and ripped as the Catachans to the point his dress uniform is too tight, thus he ALWAYS hates formal functions.
The downsides of catachans: They only really have the 6 inch scout move to lord over other guard inf The upside of catachans: You can give a chimera 6" scout and load it up with 2 heavy flamers and 2 normal flamers from the catachan inside
@@chanachon56 As a dedicated transport, the Chimera can take on the scout ability of its cargo. However, the entire cargo needs to be able to scout. So, a catachan squad is A-Okay. Catachans plus a Comissar and it's stuck where it is
Nurgle: "Everything you see exists together in a delicate balance. As Chaos champion you need to understand that balance and respect all the creatures, from the cowering worker to the proudest Space marine." Mortarion: "But grandfather dont we eat the Space Marines?" Nurgle: "Yes, Mortarion. But let me explain. When we die we provide hope for humanity, that hope then fuels the conflict we nurture. And so we are all connected in the great circle of Life.
@@SharpAsASpoon "I suppose this is the respect for all creatures that you spoke of?" "Remember how you said we eat the Space Marines? Catachan eats *us*, and for that we show respect."
Now I want the first (and only) 40k movie made to just be a predator remake about the Catachans. Also have the squad go through 3-5 commisars with increasingly hilarious "accidental" fraggings
From what I have heard (mostly from PancreasNoWork) the only other world that could have argued for being a more deadly death world than Catachan was Caliban. But Caliban had pseudo-power armor so the people could hold their own and then a Primarch happened to the world and it stopped being quite so dangerous. Catachan has had neither of those mitigating factors happen to it.
one big thing is while Caliban was equally or more dangerous its danger was in big beasties. meaning that if you got enough strong guys its a garden world. Catachan however...
@@kingleech16 That´s like saying space is more dangerous because you die if you are not wearing a space suit. Most kriegers live safely underground and anti-rad equipment is widely available. Catachans are constantly having to fight off the jungle and no piece of gear will protect you from the shit that´s found all over catachan. Krieg is not a fine place to live, but Catachan is a straight up joke.
If I remember correctly, the catachan fang is actually so famous amongst the orks as a good weapon that the greenskins refer to it as "da cutta" So, uh, yeah this joke is actually true in this case
@@conradshtock3039 had to look it up and you are correct. It's just the devil's claw variant that has that reputation with the orks. I haven't read the codex since third edition, so I'm surprised I was able to remember what little bit I did 😂 thank you for the correction
Every time I hear about Catachans, I'm reminded of a story I heard about a new Commissar in one of their regiments: "Welcome sir to the Catachan 419th 'One Short' Regiment! Glad to have you here. See sir, we have this tradition in the regiment for all the new commissars, just two small things to get the integration going eh, something good for morale. We have a wee lil' Catachan Devil tied up in that tent over there, to show you have what it takes you have to get in the cage and pull one of its teeth. Got lotsa teeth, easy job. After you did that you have one task left, to show you're really one of the men: you gotta satisfy one of the lasses. Gotta few volunteers on a dry spell so you just ask around and ya know really make some good lovin'. If she likes you after that, welcome to regiment sir!" So the young commissar, bewildered, confused and utterly green behind the ears wanders to the tent with the Devil cage. He closes the flap behind him and climbs into the cage. The men outside soon hear a great racket, a banging, tearing sound interspersed with terrible screaming. They grin to each other, knowing full well the paperwork will be minimal. Then after the banging falls silent and to everyone's surprise the Commissar appears, shirt gone, sleeves torn off his greatcoat. "Right, who was the girl with the teeth problem?" This is the story of how Commissar Jason "The Devil's Man" Statholme joined the 419th.
I think part of the lore reasons the Imperium doesn't use the Catachan Jungle Fighters more is there's not a whole lot of Catachans. the planet's human population is infinitely lower than even the smallest Hive World.
They use em a pretty good amount, usually just depends on the world and how close other regiments are. For example, they fought in all the wars for Armageddon
@@bellcurve0 It's mentioned in at least old SM codices that a lot of Space Marine chapters recruit from death worlds, that there's no lore on any particular distinction between recruits from there and non-death worlds suggests it winds up roughly the same as far as game terms goes. And as for lore terms goes, Ultramarines and Matt Ward era Ultramarines are difference chapters of different capabilities and fallibility anyway. Go nuts if you've an idea you'll like an it'll make you happy, won't be any worse than what's came before.
I, too, have listened to these videos constantly at the gym, and the way I respond to ads during RDLs makes me seriously concerned for this happening now, god damn
The other reason Catachans will likely be sticking around is that if you read the 9th edition Votann codex, there is a map of the core, with a planet labeled "New Catachan". Which means even a repeat of Cadia can't excuse GW taking our Jungle Fighters away.
I love the Catachans and feel you on it not translating to tabletop. I like the direction they're being pushed into, carving out a niche as the Guard's dedicated close range melee fighters, but they need some tweaks (that could only come up with a range refresh) to really fill that roll. If it were me spitballing how to buff them up: -Keep the Strength +1 and AP-1 on charge, but also give them Catachan unique melee weapons, like a Catachan Fang for the troops and even a Devil's Claw for the Sergeant. Shooting in the dark, I'm picturing something like 2 attacks 4+ S4 AP0 Damage 1. That would make them capable (for Guardsmen) in melee and that buff would bring them to S5 AP-1 on a Charge. -Give them a native ability to fall back and charge to capitalize on that ability. If they're only "good" at melee for one phase and then stick in base to base slog at standard Guardsman melee strength, it defeats the purpose of using them as a melee unit. Could even give this to a Catachan character as a leader buff, but IMO this just makes sense with their guerilla shadow war vibes. -Up the flamers (or one of the two/two of the four for valance) to heavy flamers. We've canonically established Catachans are brick shit house huge and have an affinity for flamers and big guns. Having a heavy Flamer or two in the Squad seems like a relatively small change, but that extra strength and AP-1, in my opinion, tip the scales into making them legitimately useful.
I'm only just slightly getting back into 40k after almost 20 years away. The catachan codex back in the day gave them a ton of specialist gear and rules that made them look more like modern genestealer cults than what catachan are now (traps, special rules on vehicles, etc.) They felt more like an army of saboteurs than a close combat army back then and played best from the shadows and using their ability to move through difficult terrain. Is the option of a stealthy and highly mobile infantry just not an option in the game anymore or what?
Ironhand Stracken pulled a the pilot of of a riptide. While it was running after prying open the hatch. Well, he only got a handful of the pilots skull, but I think that still counts.
10:16 From memory, when Cain was at the Siege of Perlia early in his career, his troop transport was hit and he was stuck in the hit bulkhead that was rapidly loosing air. 2 Catachan soldiers were holding a bulkhead door open for him to escape through using their ludicrous muscle mass to prevent it from shutting. Granted Cain didn’t make it through, but I think that’s a positive sign for Catachan opinions on Ciaphas “I hate myself” Cain.
10:16 Yes, they do like Cain, in Death or Glory two catachan soldiers tried to save his life and in The Devil You Know he works with a squad of them who comes to deeply respect him for dealing with the drukari and tyranids which were playing the planet.
I need Pancreas to do a video on the Tanith 1st and Only. I truly think he'd be the only man to do Oan "Shoved a landmine down a chaos warlord's throat" Mkoll justice.
The most ghostly of Gaunt's Ghosts, mother fucking Mkoll single handedly took down a Chaos Dreadnought! Granted, it was isolated, already damaged, and partially blind, but still! What kinda fucking Guardsman 1v1's a Chaos Dreadnought and wins? That kinda shit would make the Astartes jealous
My favorite tidbit of lore was when Caine was on a ship that was under decompression and two Catachan held open blast doors for him. These blast doors also could cut a marine in half.
The theme song of the Catachans is actually 'Fortunate Son', and you hear it coming from up every tree, behind every bush and under every suspicious pile of debris.
I swear they were invaded by tyrniyds and Deamons which is something that will wipe you out but it’s Catachan so it kinda makes sense they survived Sly Marbo is Khaldo Drago version of them
They've never been invaded by tyranids and would be destroyed easily if they were. Being a muscly rambo doesn't count for much when the bioships in orbit drain away the planet's atmosphere. Catachan (like every other planet) was invaded by daemons when the Great Rift opened. And when Imperial reinforcements arrived at the planet the local defenders were in good shape and had managed the daemonic incursion handily.
Catachan is basically the salty spittoon. They only let people they believe are tough enough on their planet. “Welcome to catachan, how tough are you?”
Ciaphas Cain does actually very briefly get attached to a regiment of catachan in the audio drama “The devil you know” pretty good as far as audio dramas go, also I think it’s one of the times a guardsman almost clocked onto the fact that Cain is a massive wuss
Gulliman must’ve had the biggest mindfuck thinking he’s a little late to respond to a daemon invasion while reading the reports that the planet are not only the daemon invasion, but an entire force of traitors as well
So something just dawned on me regarding the mortality rate: If only 1 out of 4 kids make it, then that means to even just keep a steady population the average Catachan mother needs to have *8 kids.*
Funnily enough when I did jungle warfare training we got told that "You don't shave in the jungle." Something to do with having cuts in a jungle being a potential infection risk.
The barking toad offends my inner zoologist soooo much! I hate the stupid thing and am currently reisisting the urge to go on a tirade on how it couldn't, shouldn't, and wouldn't exist... man that was therapeutic
This makes me think of Mace Windu’s home planet, Haruun Kal, from the book Star Wars Shatterpoint. It’s worse in the typical 40K ways (everything just being more extreme and wanting to kill you in terrible ways), but hey, at least Catachan doesn’t have metal-eating bacteria, so your guns and knives can survive.
This was great! Consider making another one about the actual top tier badasses of theAstra Militarum: the Kasrkin, people so utterly good at killing that they consistently beat Orks in melee combat canonically and sometimes outperform Space Marines. Also maybe the solar auxilia, which are considered only one step below the space marines and could win one on one fight against them if armed with volkite weapons.
Good video. I hope you cover Gaunt and his Ghosts, the Tanith First & Only some time. Interesting regiment with fun characters, though my favourite is Mad Larkin.
"We've run into scorpions the size of battle tanks, three men died from Eyerot last week. I've sweat enough to fill a lake, my boots got sucked into a sink-swamp and the trees are so thick in places, you can't squeeze between them. Emperor help me, I love this place! It's just like home!" Just because I like the quote.
I dont think that brain leave is tyranids. It works the same way Zombie fungus do, so i assume it also posses humans and living creature for the same reason, to spread itself
The catachan command squad does have a data sheet, *technically*. Part of the new index is the “Platoon Command Squad” which is basically supposed to represent all the regiment command squads besides Cadian. Honestly, since the Cadian command squad is locked to only Cadian units and is overall *much* less customizable, I actually prefer the Platoon Command Squads, and I’m sure a lot of other guard players do too.
This was a really great video there are tons of cool and unique guard regiments that deserve more rep in tabletop and lore and catachan is definitely one of them Also I was with you that Andy and Leyley is overrated until you said a Rick and Morty quote and now I don’t know how to feel
I looked at the screen at 9:00 and recognized the character but for a split second I wondered if I was watching the same video about space ramboes in 40k
I remember back in 8th edition, early 9th edition, I played Catachan almost exclusively because not only did they hit hard in melee, but they also had a single free reroll when determining the amount of shots on their vehicle weapons. I would sit back with my basilisk lines, pound my opponent into smithereens and charge the guys in to mop up what was left. Very effective. I remember vivdly that I made one of my opponents who was playing space marines at the time, scared shitless of my rambo dudes and refused to engage in melee with me, kept falling back every time I threatened to be in charging range. Fun times.
Whats amazing is that for Catachan to be able to provide the amount of male adult troops the standard Catachan woman has to have 7-8kids minimum during her life for the population to be stable. With child mortality being 50%+. Every city must be built around a HEAVILY fortified nursery to keep the kids/mothers alive.
My earbuds glitched at the exact moment you started explaining the Catachans' origins and made an awful static sound, but not so awful that it sounded 100% intentional and for a solid 5 seconds I thought it was a part of the video
Now you gotta do a saiyans in the 40k setting. I’d love to see a squad of saiyans exterminating an imperium planet and having the time of their lives fighting with world eaters.
It's all badass and what not but like in the book Pandorax, they unfortunately get ripped to shreds and fucked up by Death Guard. I always hate when GW talks some faction up but in lore they are just as prone to getting wiped as a Death Wing terminators against GSC
Catakan reminds me of Blackmarsh. Satan starts opening portals in the area and the residents start moving in and conquering hell because the landscape is nicer.
![BOWKYLION - วิงวอน (ex-change) [Official MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/cLdnZWDaO-w/mqdefault.jpg)
"The plants are carnivorous, I've lost half my squad to foot-rot, and they have spiders the size of battle tanks. Reminds me of home." - Catachan Sargeant.
to get all nerd on you the exact quote is "We've run into scorpions the size of battle tanks. Three men died from Eyerot last week and I've sweated enough to fill a lake. Emperor help me, I love this place, it's just like home!"
- Captain Rock of the Catachan III "Green Devils", commenting on Varestus Prime [Source: Codex: Catachans (3rd Edition)]
@@philipkelly7369 🤓
@@philipkelly7369my fucking Christ you’ve never touched a woman have you this is actually highly impressive though
@@simonnachreiner8380ironic.
How does the food chain work there? If all life is carnivores, where are the herbivores to keep the plants at bay?
Fun fact: the Kroot auxiliary units aren't allowed to eat Catachans, because whenever a Kroot eats one, they almost immediately start having authority issues and become obsessed with red bandanas
My favorite Catachan Fact is that apparently the disregard for authority and love of red bandannas is encoded on a _genetic level_ within them - in one story, Kroot started eating Catachans and took on the same traits of favoring red bandannas and disrespecting their Tau officers.
That shit is so stupid 😂😂!! But hey! It's 40k so what else do you expect from it lol
@@redcrewmate927 You are what you eat.
I so badly want to believe this and want to find the source
@@Anonie324 ask and ye shall receive: the story is called Commander Shadow, you can find a bunch of excerpts on R/40klore
@@Anonie324 Ask and you shall receive - it's in Commander Shadow (or A Commander's Shadow?) by Brent Campbell. You'll be able to find an excerpt or 2 or 3 on r/40klore.
I think this quote summarizes The Catachan Jungle Fighters best.
"We've run into scorpions the size of battle tanks. Three men died from Eyerot last week and I've sweated enough to fill a lake. Emperor help me, I love this place -- it's just like home!"
-Captain Rock of the Catachan III "Green Devils," commenting on Varestus Prime
Don't forget about the catachan face huggers. A creature which for reasons beyond comprehension smugglers thought would make a good pet and consequently now infests underhives across the imperium.
to be fair, forest face hugger parasites are probably one of the lighter things that infest the dark pits of hive worlds.
no hate towards the damned thing, but when your competition is gene stealer cults, nurgle worshippers, mutated abhuman dens, criminal gangs so bad they make south american drug lords look like a pacifists, and often some mix of the list, some random plant that kills you is pretty low down the list of "reasons i would die on a hiveworld"
I’m going to take a wild guess that it’s not a care-bear…
So what you mean to tell me some fucking smuggler. Did the exact same thing that they did with old one thought? Oh, this would be very good. Let's smuggle it and did not think about. Hey, let's not smuggle a facehugger. Or you know a giant red pissed on xenomorph. And people wonder why don't like the imperium. They got retards like this bug life forever
@@kingleech16 its a my little pony.
“Face-Eater,” and they didn’t think they’d make great pets. They look like towels, so the Spire nobles thought “Duuur mehbeh dis will help control da rats!”
And so they unleashed a planets worth of the fucking things into the Necromundan underhive. Needless to say, they got out of hand. Now everyone on Necromunda has to observe their towels _very_ closely, lest they exit a fresh shower and suddenly find themselves in a completely different kind of bath.
Also for lore positive, remember there is official art of Colonel Iron Hand Straken going 1v1 with a Tau battlesuit and tearing its head off.
Yeah he’s almost as strong as a space marine iirc, he has a super high quality bionic arm
@@LewisB3217 Dude's S6; he's literally stronger than an average primaris marine in-game.
@@uberdicewow crazy
Y E S
I mean...is it really that impressive? When the words "Tau" and "Hand To Hand" are included in the description, it isn't exactly impressive.
I love the mental image of Guilliman on his flagship staring at the report on a tablet, silent for a few long moments, then letting out a surprised "Huh..."
My new headcanon is that Catachan is a rebel Tyranid with individually.
75% Mortality rate is the planet being firm but fair. It's teaching humans to fight the Nids on purpose.
Sort of like a grimdark Gaia figure.
That's a intetesting idea!
The fact that this would actually fit on the lore imo.
Like the planet was already really dangerous but the tyranids tried to do what they always do but their synapse tyranids died and now they are part of the ecosystem making the planet a death world, but now so much time passed that even if tyranids came to the planet again the "off shoot" tyranids wouldn't recognize their ancestors anymore
@@toobig7150 That is literally just the Catachan Devils, I'm not even joking.
Maybe its the Gasalt Exodite World Spirit thingy that is using the Left over Tyranids to teach humans how to defeat them?
@@MusMasi Whatever get me grimdark Avatar. 😆
If Krieg is the kind of sad dude who says “Life has no meaning”
Catachan’s are the kind of radical joyful dudes who says “Life has no meaning”
Catachan are like Mat Best
One must imagine Marbo happy
Accurate
for a krieger, the meaning of life is dying for the emperor
Krieg corpsman: *"Life has no meaning..."*
*Dies and falls flat on the mud, Walter White style*
Catachan guard: *"Life has no meaning! YEAH!"*
*Unleashes prometheum on the unsuspecting ork population*
Calling Chaos Space Marines "Evil Master Chiefs" and Catachan's "Saiyans" is exactly why I love this channel so much lol. Always have the best references.
This is why I love 40k because you can enjoy hearing about a carnivorous jungle planet while an army of rambos run around on it. It’s bonkers and so much fun.
Ciaphas Cain actually does lead a squad of Catachan in the audio drama "the devil you know" which involves a jungle world being attacked by tyranids
From what I remember they get along alright, Cain is thrilled to be working with a squad that knows how to survive, and the Catachan don't seem to have any issues with him (probably because he actually listens to and follows their advice).
They also seem to get along well with Jurgen, because real recognise real
I had to read that last part twice, considering Jurgen is a smelly blank. I'm not complaining, just thought that was funny
Its like a predator recognising a predator, they know the man is deadlier than his smell. Tho my favourite Cain lore is that there is a whole sect of Tallarn who worship Cain as a prophet of the emperor like hes Maudib from Dune
They can even handle Jurgens Smell?
@@MusMasiTo the average Catachan, Jurgen's smell is light cologne.
@_zapatoz_ Jurgens secret
I like how "Jungle Fighters" doesn't just refer to them fighting with jungle tactics, they of course do that, but they also LITERALLY fight the jungle.
nothing like a pancreasnowork upload to make a bad day worse
truly, when with the pancreas non-haver take mercy on us
Cheer up good fellow, atleast you aren't on Catachan.
Ugh finally someone who understands
Average pyrocynical fan
Catakan
I destinctly remember a short story about Cain being paired up with the Jungle fighters, and true to his nature, Cain avoided them at all costs only to beat some type of Drukhari in a deul by threatening to kill himself, rather than get taken and tortured (the threat may have been an honest attempt).
The Jungle fighters saw him avoiding them as an example of his independence, gaining their respect by accident, as per usual
My grandpa was a vietnam vet and the catachan hold a special place in my heart
To me they’re the true heroes of the imperium
Not a mutant in a power suit
Just the skill to kill
Imagine if the imperium cloned them and made specific armor and weapons for them, like around space marine level
@@lavellelee5734 That'd be way too smart for the Imperium.
@@Haispawner fair. But I heard you could make your own army and stuff......sooooo😁😂
@@lavellelee5734 I pictured Van Saar bodies with Catachan heads, painted with green or cammo pattern
Ahh the catachan jungle fighters the regiment with abs so strong they stop bullets as effectively as flak armour
You are under the assumption that it isn't just as simple as flak armor protects the same amount as a 8 pack
I want fan art of G-Man reading the report that Catachan is 100% chaos free and just shrugged his shoulders
With the slightest of smiles on his face
with those pauldrons? that's an impressive feat !
@@Eisenwulf666 6 dead from an overzealous shrug is nothing when terra has millions of billions of people
I am working on a fanfiction involving a commissar in a Catachan regiment. One of the jokes is he's just as swole and ripped as the Catachans to the point his dress uniform is too tight, thus he ALWAYS hates formal functions.
Can you give us the name please
Hope they don’t frag him! Catachans don’t need commissars!
@@VanatorD I said I'm working on it. It doesn't have a name yet.
@@LewisB3217 He's half-Catachan if that helps.
@@ForgottenHonor0 probably hurts him honestly, like why did you abandon your unit (family), but good luck with your story regardless!
I can just imagine some general getting the news Chaos invaded Catachan, laughed, said "sucks for them", and went on with his day.
The downsides of catachans: They only really have the 6 inch scout move to lord over other guard inf
The upside of catachans: You can give a chimera 6" scout and load it up with 2 heavy flamers and 2 normal flamers from the catachan inside
Say what? How do you give the chimera the scout ability???
@@chanachon56 As a dedicated transport, the Chimera can take on the scout ability of its cargo. However, the entire cargo needs to be able to scout. So, a catachan squad is A-Okay. Catachans plus a Comissar and it's stuck where it is
@@CComrade "Catachans plus a Comissar and it's stuck where it is"
Sounds lore-friendly.
Nurgle: "Everything you see exists together in a delicate balance. As Chaos champion you need to understand that balance and respect all the creatures, from the cowering worker to the proudest Space marine."
Mortarion: "But grandfather dont we eat the Space Marines?"
Nurgle: "Yes, Mortarion. But let me explain. When we die we provide hope for humanity, that hope then fuels the conflict we nurture. And so we are all connected in the great circle of Life.
"But what about that shadowy place?"
"That is Catachan. You must never go there, Morty."
@@SharpAsASpoonI turned myself into a pickle Morty
@@SharpAsASpoon "I suppose this is the respect for all creatures that you spoke of?"
"Remember how you said we eat the Space Marines? Catachan eats *us*, and for that we show respect."
"death world are fun places" I think this is the best opening line to a 40k lore video ever
And “fun” in the same way that Dwarf Fortress players say it.
Now I want the first (and only) 40k movie made to just be a predator remake about the Catachans. Also have the squad go through 3-5 commisars with increasingly hilarious "accidental" fraggings
Catachan Commander: Sergeant, where are your fancy little offworlders going that they keep getting killed?? *The Sergeant laughs* My Grenade Sir!
From what I have heard (mostly from PancreasNoWork) the only other world that could have argued for being a more deadly death world than Catachan was Caliban. But Caliban had pseudo-power armor so the people could hold their own and then a Primarch happened to the world and it stopped being quite so dangerous. Catachan has had neither of those mitigating factors happen to it.
one big thing is while Caliban was equally or more dangerous its danger was in big beasties. meaning that if you got enough strong guys its a garden world. Catachan however...
I think Krieg still wins since going around there in a tank top is insta-death, not a callback to 80s movies.
Does it really count as a "death world" if everything that makes it that way was caused by the inhabitants?@@kingleech16
@@kingleech16 That´s like saying space is more dangerous because you die if you are not wearing a space suit. Most kriegers live safely underground and anti-rad equipment is widely available. Catachans are constantly having to fight off the jungle and no piece of gear will protect you from the shit that´s found all over catachan.
Krieg is not a fine place to live, but Catachan is a straight up joke.
There's also the Megarachnid planet called aptly Murder by the space marines no less, and it doesn't even have any humans on it
*Looks at Ork Choppa
"That's not a knife"
Pulls out Catachan Fang, "That's a knife!"
Points at ork choppa “Uhhh sir thats that not a knife that is a really rusty axe”
"I see you've played Knifey-Axey before."
If I remember correctly, the catachan fang is actually so famous amongst the orks as a good weapon that the greenskins refer to it as "da cutta"
So, uh, yeah this joke is actually true in this case
@@Lunch_Meatthink it was a specific model of the Fang.
@@conradshtock3039 had to look it up and you are correct. It's just the devil's claw variant that has that reputation with the orks. I haven't read the codex since third edition, so I'm surprised I was able to remember what little bit I did 😂 thank you for the correction
Every time I hear about Catachans, I'm reminded of a story I heard about a new Commissar in one of their regiments:
"Welcome sir to the Catachan 419th 'One Short' Regiment! Glad to have you here. See sir, we have this tradition in the regiment for all the new commissars, just two small things to get the integration going eh, something good for morale. We have a wee lil' Catachan Devil tied up in that tent over there, to show you have what it takes you have to get in the cage and pull one of its teeth. Got lotsa teeth, easy job. After you did that you have one task left, to show you're really one of the men: you gotta satisfy one of the lasses. Gotta few volunteers on a dry spell so you just ask around and ya know really make some good lovin'. If she likes you after that, welcome to regiment sir!"
So the young commissar, bewildered, confused and utterly green behind the ears wanders to the tent with the Devil cage. He closes the flap behind him and climbs into the cage. The men outside soon hear a great racket, a banging, tearing sound interspersed with terrible screaming. They grin to each other, knowing full well the paperwork will be minimal. Then after the banging falls silent and to everyone's surprise the Commissar appears, shirt gone, sleeves torn off his greatcoat.
"Right, who was the girl with the teeth problem?"
This is the story of how Commissar Jason "The Devil's Man" Statholme joined the 419th.
heh, he banged the devil out of that catachan!
Legendary
Did he fuck a catachan devil?
One of us
@@nodosa994LEGEN - wait for it - DARY
The other reason for the lack of hair is to avoid the likelihood of Catachan Barking Toads
(vulkanlivesstompstomp)
BOOOOOOOP
@@12SickOne34 Noooooooooooò
[anger bird noises]
"I would like to pet this creature."
@@TheRedMan77 Do not boop that merry [youtube moment]!
I think part of the lore reasons the Imperium doesn't use the Catachan Jungle Fighters more is there's not a whole lot of Catachans. the planet's human population is infinitely lower than even the smallest Hive World.
They use em a pretty good amount, usually just depends on the world and how close other regiments are. For example, they fought in all the wars for Armageddon
What would happen is they tried to turn them into space marines? Would theyap become super soldiers to make them rival even approaching primarchs?
@@bellcurve0 they would just be normal spess marines
@@bellcurve0 It's mentioned in at least old SM codices that a lot of Space Marine chapters recruit from death worlds, that there's no lore on any particular distinction between recruits from there and non-death worlds suggests it winds up roughly the same as far as game terms goes. And as for lore terms goes, Ultramarines and Matt Ward era Ultramarines are difference chapters of different capabilities and fallibility anyway. Go nuts if you've an idea you'll like an it'll make you happy, won't be any worse than what's came before.
20:45 is an unbelievably good take, thank you sir.
"I have seen what makes you cheer and your boos mean nothing because of it."
Yeah, I'm definitely going to use that.
dont its a rick and morty reference
@@return4887I have seen what makes you cheer and your boos mean nothing because of it.
elvis - rick and morty@@Mecha_Hitler
That feel when you're in the middle of a set, stop to skip the ads and, in doing so, you let a 60pound weight fall on your foot
Oof
Want a break from the ads?
I, too, have listened to these videos constantly at the gym, and the way I respond to ads during RDLs makes me seriously concerned for this happening now, god damn
Really wish there more parts of 40k that were as silly and fun as the Catachan. Cause outside of this regiment and Orks we're kinda lacking.
Sisters of Battle are pretty damn silly not going to lie
All the primark primaris stuff is silly but not in a fun way
@@RahmpageChicken Those pipe-organ missile launchers kick ass.
The other reason Catachans will likely be sticking around is that if you read the 9th edition Votann codex, there is a map of the core, with a planet labeled "New Catachan". Which means even a repeat of Cadia can't excuse GW taking our Jungle Fighters away.
Also, they just announced a new Catachan book today as well.
"I have seen what makes you cheer and your boos mean nothing because of it" goes way too hard man
Richard and Mortimer
I love the Catachans and feel you on it not translating to tabletop. I like the direction they're being pushed into, carving out a niche as the Guard's dedicated close range melee fighters, but they need some tweaks (that could only come up with a range refresh) to really fill that roll. If it were me spitballing how to buff them up:
-Keep the Strength +1 and AP-1 on charge, but also give them Catachan unique melee weapons, like a Catachan Fang for the troops and even a Devil's Claw for the Sergeant. Shooting in the dark, I'm picturing something like 2 attacks 4+ S4 AP0 Damage 1. That would make them capable (for Guardsmen) in melee and that buff would bring them to S5 AP-1 on a Charge.
-Give them a native ability to fall back and charge to capitalize on that ability. If they're only "good" at melee for one phase and then stick in base to base slog at standard Guardsman melee strength, it defeats the purpose of using them as a melee unit. Could even give this to a Catachan character as a leader buff, but IMO this just makes sense with their guerilla shadow war vibes.
-Up the flamers (or one of the two/two of the four for valance) to heavy flamers. We've canonically established Catachans are brick shit house huge and have an affinity for flamers and big guns. Having a heavy Flamer or two in the Squad seems like a relatively small change, but that extra strength and AP-1, in my opinion, tip the scales into making them legitimately useful.
I'm only just slightly getting back into 40k after almost 20 years away. The catachan codex back in the day gave them a ton of specialist gear and rules that made them look more like modern genestealer cults than what catachan are now (traps, special rules on vehicles, etc.)
They felt more like an army of saboteurs than a close combat army back then and played best from the shadows and using their ability to move through difficult terrain.
Is the option of a stealthy and highly mobile infantry just not an option in the game anymore or what?
"This is Warhammer and science is for losers"
That statement is part of why I love this saying
not even a catachan fanboy, and I still think this is one of your best videos...
Ironhand Stracken pulled a the pilot of of a riptide. While it was running after prying open the hatch. Well, he only got a handful of the pilots skull, but I think that still counts.
10:16 From memory, when Cain was at the Siege of Perlia early in his career, his troop transport was hit and he was stuck in the hit bulkhead that was rapidly loosing air. 2 Catachan soldiers were holding a bulkhead door open for him to escape through using their ludicrous muscle mass to prevent it from shutting. Granted Cain didn’t make it through, but I think that’s a positive sign for Catachan opinions on Ciaphas “I hate myself” Cain.
10:16 Yes, they do like Cain, in Death or Glory two catachan soldiers tried to save his life and in The Devil You Know he works with a squad of them who comes to deeply respect him for dealing with the drukari and tyranids which were playing the planet.
I need Pancreas to do a video on the Tanith 1st and Only. I truly think he'd be the only man to do Oan "Shoved a landmine down a chaos warlord's throat" Mkoll justice.
The most ghostly of Gaunt's Ghosts, mother fucking Mkoll single handedly took down a Chaos Dreadnought! Granted, it was isolated, already damaged, and partially blind, but still! What kinda fucking Guardsman 1v1's a Chaos Dreadnought and wins? That kinda shit would make the Astartes jealous
5:02 Me whenever I see a catachan barking toad: *Jamaican accent* “ I would like to pet this creature.”
…Don’t do that.
Ah yes, Catachan. The unholy lovechild of every '80s action hero and Midworld.
My headcannon is Catachan was one of the Old Ones' testing ground for their bioweapons.
My favorite tidbit of lore was when Caine was on a ship that was under decompression and two Catachan held open blast doors for him. These blast doors also could cut a marine in half.
The theme song of the Catachans is actually 'Fortunate Son', and you hear it coming from up every tree, behind every bush and under every suspicious pile of debris.
Ain't no high lord's son, no
When the sky speaks High Gothic, the trees must speak catachan.
I swear they were invaded by tyrniyds and Deamons which is something that will wipe you out but it’s Catachan so it kinda makes sense they survived Sly Marbo is Khaldo Drago version of them
Imagine how bad things would be if the Nids got a solid grasp on whatever genes Catachan flora and fauna have?
They've never been invaded by tyranids and would be destroyed easily if they were. Being a muscly rambo doesn't count for much when the bioships in orbit drain away the planet's atmosphere.
Catachan (like every other planet) was invaded by daemons when the Great Rift opened. And when Imperial reinforcements arrived at the planet the local defenders were in good shape and had managed the daemonic incursion handily.
Catachan is basically the salty spittoon. They only let people they believe are tough enough on their planet.
“Welcome to catachan, how tough are you?”
No, they’re the Thug Tug from the Spongebob Movie. The one with the Bubble Blowing Babies scene.
@@NCRVeteranRanger yeah the salty spittoon might as well be weeny hut jr’s 🤣
@@NCRVeteranRanger The thug tug are only tough when they're facing bubble blowing babies. One guy was able to sink the entire thing.
Ciaphas Cain does actually very briefly get attached to a regiment of catachan in the audio drama “The devil you know” pretty good as far as audio dramas go, also I think it’s one of the times a guardsman almost clocked onto the fact that Cain is a massive wuss
Gulliman must’ve had the biggest mindfuck thinking he’s a little late to respond to a daemon invasion while reading the reports that the planet are not only the daemon invasion, but an entire force of traitors as well
Ah Catachan, the planet that makes tyranids choose starvation.
0:22 I thought this was gonna be a sponsor segway and was like wow...
I wasn’t expecting the W picture when the topic of fragging came up, but it fits.
So something just dawned on me regarding the mortality rate: If only 1 out of 4 kids make it, then that means to even just keep a steady population the average Catachan mother needs to have *8 kids.*
Just started a Catachan Regiment this month, ready for this one. Cheers.
Funnily enough when I did jungle warfare training we got told that "You don't shave in the jungle." Something to do with having cuts in a jungle being a potential infection risk.
I've had a Henson for 5 years, best investment 15 year old me got, haven't even gone through the blades that came tbf it came with 1000 blades
The barking toad offends my inner zoologist soooo much! I hate the stupid thing and am currently reisisting the urge to go on a tirade on how it couldn't, shouldn't, and wouldn't exist... man that was therapeutic
You're taking about a setting in which Orkz exist & there are multiple species that live in the vacuum of space. Logic died long ago.
Thank you pancreas! Your brain rot content gave me a first hand experience of catachan! Always “appreciate” how you immerse us in the video! 🙏
Just when i thought i had binged enough pancreas today here we are anyway. Thanks dude, your videos are always a highlight.
Was not expecting that ending segment but I’m happy someone said it
Love Catachans, they are my first and favorite 40k army
Plus the kit is still $35
This makes me think of Mace Windu’s home planet, Haruun Kal, from the book Star Wars Shatterpoint. It’s worse in the typical 40K ways (everything just being more extreme and wanting to kill you in terrible ways), but hey, at least Catachan doesn’t have metal-eating bacteria, so your guns and knives can survive.
This was great! Consider making another one about the actual top tier badasses of theAstra Militarum: the Kasrkin, people so utterly good at killing that they consistently beat Orks in melee combat canonically and sometimes outperform Space Marines. Also maybe the solar auxilia, which are considered only one step below the space marines and could win one on one fight against them if armed with volkite weapons.
" I have seen what makes you cheer..." by fucking god!.. i will have to remember this line.
Damn missed the golden: “technically this should make them shorter, but this is Warhammer and science is for Cadians.”
The takes on this channel are glorious
Good video. I hope you cover Gaunt and his Ghosts, the Tanith First & Only some time. Interesting regiment with fun characters, though my favourite is Mad Larkin.
Haven't read all of it yet but so far my favorite character is probably Rawne. The Ghosts in general are all badass though
I was not prepared for homer Simpson to have a cameo in a video exclusively about Rambo clones
I once described Sly Marbo as the real mans warhammer waifu and I stand by that statement
I want a Sly Marbo body pillow but I'm scared of it gaining sentience annd ripping my head off with its... Pillow hands
That end segment... i 100 % agree with. Thank you for that
"We've run into scorpions the size of battle tanks, three men died from Eyerot last week. I've sweat enough to fill a lake, my boots got sucked into a sink-swamp and the trees are so thick in places, you can't squeeze between them. Emperor help me, I love this place! It's just like home!"
Just because I like the quote.
I thought of an idea years ago, that Jungle Fighters would gently place Barking Toads in glass jars and throw them like grenades.
I dont think that brain leave is tyranids. It works the same way Zombie fungus do, so i assume it also posses humans and living creature for the same reason, to spread itself
9:08 My man straight up use W from Arknights to show example of fragging.
Absolutely W for a Dokutah viewer
10:00 I can count on one hand the amount warhammer stories that end this good, slab still fighting, Sar ACTUALLY RETIRED HAPPILY.
The catachan command squad does have a data sheet, *technically*. Part of the new index is the “Platoon Command Squad” which is basically supposed to represent all the regiment command squads besides Cadian.
Honestly, since the Cadian command squad is locked to only Cadian units and is overall *much* less customizable, I actually prefer the Platoon Command Squads, and I’m sure a lot of other guard players do too.
9:00 was not expecting to see W here, was pleasantly surprised tho
This was a really great video there are tons of cool and unique guard regiments that deserve more rep in tabletop and lore and catachan is definitely one of them
Also I was with you that Andy and Leyley is overrated until you said a Rick and Morty quote and now I don’t know how to feel
i played Welcome to the Jungle on loop in a different tab for the entire video and it made it so much better
There’s knives are quite elite and absolutely badass could be called short swords or machetes
Y'know the most shocking part of this video is that retirement exists
Cadia didn't lose, chaos flipped the board.
I looked at the screen at 9:00 and recognized the character but for a split second I wondered if I was watching the same video about space ramboes in 40k
Hoping for Tempestus Scions next. And how do they compare to these Jungle Bros?
And your stuff is absolutely hilarious and educational! Glad I found your channel. Thanks for all the great work and for sharing.
Imagine if ultra marines started recruiting katichan jungle fighters. Then we’d have an army of Rambo’s who can rebuild faster than the skaven
I remember back in 8th edition, early 9th edition, I played Catachan almost exclusively because not only did they hit hard in melee, but they also had a single free reroll when determining the amount of shots on their vehicle weapons. I would sit back with my basilisk lines, pound my opponent into smithereens and charge the guys in to mop up what was left. Very effective. I remember vivdly that I made one of my opponents who was playing space marines at the time, scared shitless of my rambo dudes and refused to engage in melee with me, kept falling back every time I threatened to be in charging range. Fun times.
Whats amazing is that for Catachan to be able to provide the amount of male adult troops the standard Catachan woman has to have 7-8kids minimum during her life for the population to be stable. With child mortality being 50%+. Every city must be built around a HEAVILY fortified nursery to keep the kids/mothers alive.
Their communities are based around heavily guarded close-knit family groups, Catachans often fight next to an uncle or a brother or cousin
melee guard may be a meme, but damn if it isn't a very crazy one to play out. Cheaper access to double flamethrowers is also a niche worth noting
Sly Marbo Screaming Intensifies
My earbuds glitched at the exact moment you started explaining the Catachans' origins and made an awful static sound, but not so awful that it sounded 100% intentional and for a solid 5 seconds I thought it was a part of the video
Now you gotta do a saiyans in the 40k setting. I’d love to see a squad of saiyans exterminating an imperium planet and having the time of their lives fighting with world eaters.
Saiyans instantly fall to Khorne, there simply is no other option.
@@RipOffProductionsLLC but saiyan pride tho lol.
@@RipOffProductionsLLCSaiyans were more like pirates
@@RipOffProductionsLLC They'd try to fight him.
@@gingermcgingin4106 that's literally part of the problem...
Thanks for the Obiwan Sherlock Clousseau name drop
I am glad he isn't forgotten
It's all badass and what not but like in the book Pandorax, they unfortunately get ripped to shreds and fucked up by Death Guard. I always hate when GW talks some faction up but in lore they are just as prone to getting wiped as a Death Wing terminators against GSC
Sly Marbo has solo'd entire formations of Chaos Marines if that makes you feel any better.
@@gingermcgingin4106 a lil
That Catachan Colonel is my only guard model but one day he'll get some buddies to share that rock with
"Look at this picture, what do you notice?" That they're very Daddy coded, and they look like they give surprisingly good cuddles.
Catakan reminds me of Blackmarsh. Satan starts opening portals in the area and the residents start moving in and conquering hell because the landscape is nicer.
Imagine if the Astartes open a chapter on the world of Catachan. It’s the perfect place to breed them.
The attrition rate on the population is already broken as all hell, adding Astartes recruitment might cause the whole thing to collapse.