Comment below if you're guilty of this. Raises hand. Also, watch signs you're depressed, not lazy here if you haven't: th-cam.com/video/q8HRGiUeZwc/w-d-xo.html
lol i'm asian, but idk how is it in your household, but my mom would still manage to complain and called me useless even after helped her out doing the chores
@@no-name1025 me too, i’m asian and my mom would criticize me if i don’t do chores the way that she wants me to do it, but she will also criticize me if i don’t do chores at all.
That's when you say: "Thanks, we appreciate your effort. It's very kind and thoughtful" That way perhaps she will be motivated to clean the room again in the future, should the same problem arise.
I try to be silent when I'm angry, cause I'm scared that I might make things worse when I say something while I'm on rage.Then I try to talk to them later ,when I already analyze everything, and know im calm and on my right mind. But I think I manipulate people unknowingly 😅
I used to think that too, but I would at least say, give me sometime to cool down and think it through first, it helps to assure them that they aren't being given the silent treatment, it's especially important at the start of relationships when they don't know much about each other yet
@@darylyap16 that's the best way to communicate! My gf and I recently agreed on a codeword that means exactly that when she needs to cool off after a fight; it gets the message across and reassures me that she isn't just ignoring me but she just needs time to chill, gotta love communication
Sometimes silence speaks louder. It's cool that you take the time to think about how your words might hurt others to prevent them from being even angrier at you, but others might perceive it as you ignoring them.
I’m hurting so bad at moment because I am this way. God I sometimes have no idea how to help myself. This is my outlet so forgive me guys for sounding like a martyr. I hate the way I am
@@yasservalenzuela9738 I hurt my sisters all the time because of this. I’m the big sister I’m supposed to be there for them, not hurt them. I just don’t know how to fix myself
@@candygore1524 I get it. Life can be hard. Be kind to yourself but determined. Small steps. I just started practicing thinking twice before I dish out criticism, and not doing it at all if the reason I'm doing it is because I feel angry in the moment or want to feel better about myself. Next I'll be working on trying to uphold more of my promises which often get broken for no reason other than anxiety and depression. It was honestly very difficult for me to strive for change without continuing to play the victim all the time ("no one understands how hard this is, or why I'm this way") and at times, people are legitimately unhelpful. But we have to show up for ourselves, believe in our better intentions and believe that we can and will do better. The way you are may not be your fault, but it is your responsibility now, and you will do okay. We all live and learn.
@@burlyfoil1022 some people don’t actually care about other people and want to be a manipulator seeing it as a joy to control and influence their decisions and feelings. That’s Something empaths try to avoid and don’t understand.
I always worry I'm manipulating people because my parents are controlling af, so I worry they're methods have rubbed off on me a bit. So I always do the complete opposite, and ironically I think that doing that in a way ends up manipulating people a little because they now shoulder the responsibility, so I try to just stay in the middle, I don't want anyone to feel what I felt, so I avoid people incase I'm making them feel that way accidentally.
I can relate. Like, I'm pretty sure that my family is toxic and they're one of the reasons I struggle so much mentally (and physically too because psychosomatic, yah!) But the irony is that I may be becoming toxic and manipulative myself TTTT.TTTT
"What you resist, persists" - Dani Foxx Instead of doing the opposite of what they do. Try to just be yourself. If you think you might accidentally be manipulative, try to be mindful of the things you say and do. Notice how whatever that may be, makes you feel. I recommend you check out Dani Foxx's channel. She has a lot of insight on things like that. I hope this helps ^w^
Wow I relate to this HARDCORE. My parents are very controlling so I'm hyperaware of it and I try with all my might to not do this to others, but I always feel guilty that I do anyway.
my parents don’t rlly manipulate they just guilt trip me, like i’ll b chillin and they’ll say “remember when u used to love me and u listened to me” OUTTA NOWHERE
I use the silent treatment. However, when I get talked down to, snapped at, and told I'm an idiot for making a comment, you learn to be quiet at nearly all times. It really sucks, but when everyone breaks their promise of "you can talk to me," there is no back and forth for understanding. So silence is the only road you have sometimes.
Same! Everyone made me feel like what I have to say doesn’t matter, they made fun of me and they emotionally abandoned me, now my communication skills are horrible because I usually use the silent treatment to defend myself because I don’t want to go back to feeling that pain that I did when I actually was communicating properly.
@@avieebvlogs8018 yes me too!! my "silent treatment" happens because the other person made me like what I say doesn't matter or I feel like they don't care about me or the relationship enough to communicate so I don't either. The thing is it stems from my narcissistic dad who never cared about me and what I had to say so it's really easy for me to ghost people because I FEEL like they don't care but that's not the case. can't tell the difference though so I just stop talking to people if there's even a tiny indication that my presence is not needed. not sure what to do about it.
ive recently been caught in a situation where someone im close me snapped at me and this was the only thing i felt like i could handle doing. I can never handle those types of situations and its a problem but the only thing i could do was escape and give the silent treatment
I feel extremely sad that I was already aware of this, finding myself doing literally everything in this video reminded me again how manupilating I am, without actually noticing. I am trying real hard to overcome so this content helped a lot 🥺💖
**sees mother about to do the laundry** Me: hey mom I'll help! Mom: oh no, it's ok it's ok Also my mom: uGhH nOboDy eVEr OfFeRs tO hELp mE wiTh cHorEs iN tHiS hOuse, I dO eVerYtHinG bY mYseLf Me: 👁👄👁
On the other hand, I'm trying to master the craft. Being the recipient of such tactics makes you realize its usefulness and worth. You can more easily achieve your goals, there's joy in being resourceful enough to get what you want, and punching past your naive guilt to manipulate is an effective way to do that.
thank you for covering this. I just realised I can be unintentionally manipulative. I got 4/5 of these behaviours. thank you for helping me see this so now I can be more aware of what I say and do so I can be less manipulative
@@Resident--a I can sometimes over exagerate the truth, I can sometimes say that I'll be at an event and then forget about it or even forget to tell the person that I'm not going. I never really realised I was doing this until I saw this video so now I just have to be more aware with what I say and do in the future.
@@Mika121416 now I want you to stop for just one moment. When you "sometimes over exaggerate the truth" why? Are you doing it for gain? Do you do it to make it more dramatic? Or are you perhaps just not really clear on the entire msmory? When you end up not being able to go somewhere when you said you would, is it because you don't have the energy to go (like in the case of depression)? Is it because something, somehow comes up? Is it because it slipped your mind? Or are you avoiding going because it's not worth your time? The reason I ask these things is because it's extremely likely you're over reading yourself into these shallow points, this is one of those areas of this channel that I don't support because it ends up guilt tripping people such as yourself.
@@Resident--a I see what you're saying. For the exaggerating the truth, it really depends. sometimes I do exagerate for dramatic effect, like I tend to be like "I rember getting a huge bruise from falling one time." when it was only the size of a euro coin. And then there are times where I forget the full situation. When it comes to the unable to go somewhere, it also depends. I haven't been mentally well for a few years and my anxiety stopped me from going places as I'd have really bad stomach cramps. somtimes things do come up so i have to cancel but in those situations, I make sure I say at least a few hours before hand at the latest. and then there are times where I just forget about the situations all together. because of all these situations, I became that unreliable friend who 'doesn't go out with us so we wont ask her out with us because either she'll say no or she'll forget.'.
@@Mika121416 so what can we gather from this? On the occurrences where you're kind of talking a memory up, you're trying to make it more entertaining or impactful. That *could* be some fairly slight manipulation. Notice the emphasis on "could". Though realistically, you're simply embellishing the story a bit. Not a particularly good practice, but innocent enough to not warrant concern. And as for your circumstances with being "unreliable", it sounds like you have mental issues that can accommodate for that. It doesn't sound like you're just doing it because. So I would hesitate to call that any kind of manipulation. Had you done it to get back at someone, or something similar, then the story would be different and even then, it would need to be a reoccurring theme to really warrant concern. Be careful in which information you allow your mind to adopt, as this kind of information can worsen your mental state. Being open to seeing issues with yourself isn't wrong, though you need to also give yourself room for error, even when trying to take responsibility. Asking yourself what roles you played, how your actions influenced the outcome, other details in the same vein. It's the same exact strategy to dealing with trauma. Though you don't really strike me as what this video claims. You've got a slight tendency to over exaggerate and that sounds to be about it. Be kind to yourself, honest, but kind.
as someone who has constant anxiety about being a bad,manipulative and/or toxic person,this helps calm me down and helps me to insure I won't be manipulative :)
Being a bad, Manipulative & toxic person isn't always bad....IF the person your doing it to what's it! Like if I was your brother, I'd welcome it! If I was your brother, I do ALL of your chores and let you take all the credit so you get paid/praised for them. Id clean up ALL of your messes and if you have friends over...I would clean their mess also! When you do something wrong, I would take blame for it so you dont get in trouble! Id do all of your homework so you can do what you want to do! I would never argue with you! When we are both home....Id wait on you hand and foot....you would never have to lift a finger!
@@perryh.5306Not true at all. Using people is dehumanizing and unjust, whether or not those people are aware of the unhealthy self-abandonment involved in agreeing to such things. For such a situation to function (unethically), it requires 2 mentally ill people in self-abandoning agreement. A slave in agreement is still a slave. Know that your community will never respect such behaviour due to the growth-limiting effects that will stunt the community in the long-term.
I'm guilty of number 3. Whenever I have a row with a family member, I don't talk to them for several days and pretend they're invisible. I've always thought it was a better option than letting the argument escalate further
Same, if they were the ones being manipulative from the start than I just ignore that individual. Not because I don’t like them or hate them but it’s because I can’t bother trying with that individual anymore. I guess you can say one stops caring about the other person at the point, and I personally am okay with not caring about narc family members.
0:46 1. Saying that you will do everything yourself 1:27 2. You make promises a lot 1:59 3. You give somebody the silent treatment 2:38 4. You have distinct patterns in your language 3:14 5. You find yourself embellishing or twisting the facts
@@mgshadowkat3066 If you did it's Ok, nobody's perfect but God. we've all probably said all of these and didn't even mean to be manipulative it's our parents that need to teach us right from wrong, but I was raised by narcissists parents so I'm trying my best to learn and heal on my own.
I..actually relate to all the signs and now i'm worried. I always saw myself as someone who wants to help their friends, trying to make it seem like i'm the best person to the people i've met because i just really want to help people find that person that understands them..However i know now that i'm not and i can't pretend to be a "perfect" person forever. This video was really mind opening! I'll try to do these less and change to be a better person. Thank you so much for the video Psych2Go! This is really helpful for me.. and to other people who relate to this video, i just wanna let you know it's never too late to change and redeem yourself!
@@sophia12609 same here, I just currently messed a lot of things up and made myself seem like a victim. I deceived my friend's trust. No wonder my ex-friend lost all trust in me and never talked to us again. What I did sucked and I know it now. I am going to change my behavior for the sake of me and my friends. I wish you good luck as well
I also relate to it, my whole family is like this so I just thought it was okay to act like this. The worst thing for me is the silent treatment, if I’m upset at someone I go out of my way to not speak to them, see them and I get annoyed if I even hear their name. It’s really bad but I just get so angry and I don’t like talking about my emotions that much so usually I keep everything inside and try to avoid my problems; I’m not going to get far in life like that but I’m so tired. I try my best to stop that behaviour so I just stay silent almost all the time, I don’t want people to worry about me and I don’t want to be mean or manipulate them. This video helped me out to realize what I have done wrong but I still have all of that rage pent up inside me, it’s hard to let go of that behaviour but I’m trying so hard.
@@avieebvlogs8018 what’s best is that your aware of all these patterns. It’s ok to not know how to start changing these behaviors, as long as you know your goal and what you need to complete it. We all go at different paces and it’s ok to take a break sometimes! I hope this helps, stay safe :D
I manipulate some people... On purpose because I honestly don’t need them around me. So I try to push them away... also I don’t know... im not sure if I want her gone but I graduating next week soooo ya. Who cares? I’m not hurting anyone else... I need a fresh start! Sooooooooooooooooo ya! She’s so positive I’m not sure she can even tell...
I searched for this video after getting "manipulating others" from a skills test on school, next to innocents skills such as drawing, reading and singing. So it was a big shock for me seeing such a big word explaining how I do harm. I've always been told I was woke, and I could be a therapist. I took that to heart, and felt like enough people liked me. But that was not true. I have manipulated them liking me, subconciously. I didn't know my actions were like this. I realised, most of my real loves weren't real. Good to know it's not all my fault though. Wish I could improve myself to satisfy others
@@leeknowisntyourbedsostopsl3505 yeah i know, i like cleaning too. but sometimes i get tired of cleaning and 2 seconds later its dirty agian because people dont collaborate with the clean environment. some people say im crazy 🤪 i ask for ppls help to at least maintain but no one can. i get caught thinking if i believe that only i know how to clean and maintain properly
I love this. Taking time to be introspective about your actions and how it effects others is not practiced enough. These videos are a gentle way of calling us out on it 💚
Whenever my mom was mad at me, I would always stay silent, since no matter what I said, she wouldn’t believe me and it made the situation ten times worse. Most of the time, I did nothing wrong
Same except my dad and then he wonders why I don’t tell him anything, when whenever I talk to him it just turns into a lecture or in his eyes I’m always wrong. My mom listens to me and she is the only one who even cares about me but that’s ever since she found out my depression was serious, she never really cared before.
Don't remember who said this but, *"A good leader tricks his subordinate think his idea is theirs."* So leadership is manipulation in a nutshell. Why is this a bad thing? I feel the word manipulation has a bad rep honestly. Manipulation skill is what makes human intelligent. We need manipulation skill to survive. Otherwise nothing will ever be done.
Think of it like "A great nitpicker tricks YOU into doing (variable X) which is a bad thing. On completion, you are promised something that is never given to you... The power isn't in question.. The selfishness is.
Tecnechally in a way speaking, motivating someone is just another way of manipulation if you think about it, personally to me it depends on how you say it, the intentions and what you use it for, so you're not wrong
I think its context. You can manipulate a Rubiks Cube. Doing so to a person, or people often is a terrible personality trait. Occasionally having to get a reaction or action is acceptable. Women do it to men everyday for eons. And most of it we don't mind,
Giving the silent treatment is very relatable. Its something I need to work on, but its not always a bad thing, especially in toxic situations (where I learned to start doing it in the first place).
SAME everyone blames me but I didn’t want that type of toxicity in my life, I only learned this behaviour because I had to defend myself from other toxic people too many times. It’s started to become normal because there was constantly someone toxic or manipulative in my life I learned what they did for defensive reasons but it became more normal and it’s got worse
I was once in a relationship with someone who told me that I was being manipulative, so I was really nervous watching this video. I had thought perhaps she might have been right, because I knew I wasn't afraid to tell her if I felt like I wasn't being treated right. She later ended up dumping me for someone else. But now at least I know I wasn't being manipulative, I think I was just trying my best to relay that my minimum relationship needs weren't being met.
Often a manipulative person would not tell someone if they are hurt, they prefer to act in a certain way so as to get what they want. Communication hardly ever has anything to do with manipulation. Don’t worry
I’m glad this video was done. Many people talk about others manipulating but we can forget that we ourselves need to check and see that we aren’t being toxic to others.
The silent treatment and silence are not the same. And sometimes, when dealing with abusive or toxic people, there really is nothing you can say - they won't understand, and they're likely to use whatever you say against you.
no fr i stay silent throught and just leave when they’re done bc if i’m afraid i’m going to say something rlly bad since i’m heated, plus it’s useless to argue with someone
i give the silent treatment a lot in arguments, mostly because im way too much of a dumbass to know how to defend my points. but yayy i dont think im manipulative :D i always feel so emotionally educated after watching your videos hehe - ❤ !!
You really need to be honest with others around you. You need to open up how you really feel and what is really going. If you keep giving the silent treatment so many times others will avoid and you will start to feel lonely.
I'm an INFP so taking space is part of how I process my emotions. It can be confused for silent treatment. I've taken up to saying "Yo, I'mma take some space to process sh*t. I'll brb." That way, there's no beef.
I’ve been told that I am manipulative and toxic, and I’m not even aware of what I’m doing when I’m like that! Seeing this video made some points I need to look more closely at. Thank you so much, psych2go!
This video came out at the perfect time. After some time of worrying about being manipulative, I can say I do have done some of the things mentioned here unintentionally and intentionally. Thank you so much for letting me see what I was doing wrong and helping me start the road to fix em. Let's be better people and Happy Easter! 😄
I’ve been binging your videos lately. My partner says that I’m a gaslighter, I didn’t know what that meant and I got angry. But now that I am educating myself on what it is and how I can change. The relationship is probably ended rn but I can still learn and grow
If I was your brother would could be manipulative towards me!! If I was your brother, I do ALL of your chores and let you take all the credit so you get paid/praised for them. Id clean up ALL of your messes and if you have friends over...I would clean their mess also! When you do something wrong, I would take blame for it so you dont get in trouble! Id do all of your homework so you can do what you want to do! I would never argue with you! When we are both home....Id wait on you hand and foot....you would never have to lift a finger!
I know deep down that I’m not toxic, rude, or manipulative but I’m always scared that I’m being a bad friend and sometimes it becomes so bad to the point where if I say something and I think I’m being rude I can’t stop thinking about that moment and that person until I ask if I was being rude or I hurt they’re feelings
Guilty as charged :( Hope this helps- 1. 0:46 Saying that you'll do everything yourself 2. 1:26 You make Promises a lot 3. 1:58 You give someone the silent treatment 4. 2:36 You have distinct patterns in your language 5. 3:12 You find yourself Embellishing or Twisting Facts
The biggest problem I have with many of these videos is the fact that they don't always take into account neurological 'disorders' (I use this term loosely as I myself am autistic) or abusive behavior. I find it very hard to speak during an arguement as it's usually with someone who doesn't want to listen. They just wanna be mad & blame me for however they're feeling. And I find it very difficult in these situations to think clearly and not say hurtful things back, making the situation worse. There's more to my thoughts on the rest of the things mentioned, but I just want to help spread awareness that many of these behaviors have very deep seeded reasons behind them. It's about more than just being aware that you do them, but understanding why, and knowing yourself well enough to know if they come from a place of genuine honesty. Be honest with yourself. It's one of the most liberating things you can do☀️
i agree! i feel like pschy2go is an untrusty worthy source and doesn't account for other peoples situation. who knew that a "psychology" channel with 2 minutes video about complex subjects wouldn't be helpful, lol.. :/
@@hellolily7722 I beleive in this channels good intentions and their attempt at spreading knowledge and understanding. But many of the topics they 'touch' on are so deep and complex, that trying to fit certain subjects into a short video can send a very wrong message to those who don't know much about mental health or are still very young and still learning about the world. Some of the behaviors they talk about really need their own dedicated videos, or even series of videos, and I say this taking into consideration those who might not have access to counsellors or therapists who can devote the time each of us needs to helping us understand ourselves; for those whose only source of help is the internet and videos like this. If anyone is feeling the ways these videos talk about, it's so worth it to do further research, and if you can, talk with someone who has better insight. Nothing is as simple as it seems, no matter how much we want it to be.
Thank you for this! Sometimes I do worry that I manipulate others even if it’s not often. I hope I can reflect on it, realize what I’ve said to others even if it was unintentional and grow out of it
I've just watched this, now u know that I'm a manipulative person, I feel satisfied when I have the control of some people and make them believe what I say. I like feeling this, I makes me feel.. proud
I'm a cancer and I tend to be passive-aggressive and become silent when I am unhappy with something. I mostly don't want to bring up the topic because I don't want to make a big deal out of it and be dramatic. That's why I feel uncomfortable being so straightforward🙁 The time I'm silent I constantly think about if the problem is even that big and I end up overthinking a lot. I just don't know man.
@@kagavice i get that it sounds like this person is using their birthdate to excuse their behavior but instead of making fun of them don’t you think it would be better to give tips? and if you don’t have any advice to give, then at least try to sympathize. i do like your comment, it’s funny when it comes to non serious situations lmao
Stay away from people who can't take responsibilities for thier actions and who make you feel bad for being angry at them ,when they did you wrong......
Honestly, I prefer the silent treatment because everyone thinks I am that tough and emotionless girl, because I cope with some excruciating situations by myself, because i feel like I annoy everyone, but my methods are unhealthy. They think my life is amazing because I strike back at offensive people or just having the patience to ignore, but i do this only to the people I don't give a damn about. But no, it is not. And when I say something to defend myself (of course when I am not to blame) they find me toxic and rude and say that I am trying to manipulate them. So I prefer to stay silent and let everything hurt, because I've already cried so much I can't shed a tear or feel any strong empathy anymore.
Another way you can be unintentionally manipulative is if you are extremely persistent, almost never take no for an answer, and will always argue with someone if you disagree can manipulate others to be submissive because they’re either too scared to argue with you or don’t want to put up with you
The silent treatment is the most annoying one!!! Even though you explained everything already they just don't say anything making things more complicated or worse...
I'm actually very relieved. The silent thing I've been working on because I was taught silence was golden. Not for me. I need to talk to someone who will listen and give advice. That's been the best part. ❤ I'm happy I found this video! ☺
Wow, my GF does all of these things. I hate being within earshot of her when she relates whatever recent "bad" thing that has occurred to her - the story gets tuned for maximum sympathy every time it's shared with a new person. She soaks up the condolences like a lost soul in the dessert would consume water at an oasis.
"You give somebody the silent treatment" " it is a manipulative thing and you shouldn't practice it" *Yeah if only I had parents who didn't abuse me on every damn thing is say*
Seriously. When it comes to abusive people who have no interest in understanding or respecting you, sometimes silence is the best way to protect yourself from further abuse.
Please, if anyone who has talked to me before and is/has been my (online) friend reads this, I'm sorry. This video has made me realise what kind of person I really am, and I'm trying to fix myself.
I think I start using manipulative tactics when I get scared. The problem is, that knowing I may have exaggerated something too much or guilt trip someone, doesn't actually make me feel better and often even more scared.
i have the exact same issue, being manipulative when your scared is a big one for me especially because it feels like a personal attack to you it doesn’t feel good
1. Saying that you will do everything yourself. 0:45 2. You make promises a lot 1:27 3. You give somebody the silent treatment 2:00 4. You have distinct patterns in your language 2:37 5. You find yourself embellishing or twisting the facts 3:14
“Saying you’ll do everything yourself” it depends how you say it and the context… there’s a difference between just stating it as a fact part of what you’re doing (“I’m gonna do this this and this, then this too” and saying it in a way that guilt-trips others like “I guess I’ll just do it all by myself…(like always…)” because between the abusive so-called parents who accuse me of abusing their poor selves if I don’t do what they want when they want as if I were their slave, and being let down by so many people so learning to only depend on yourself and even when people say they’d help I decline because I don’t know how to not do things by myself so I don’t know how to need help (which I do need to work on), it’s only manipulation if it’s to guilt-trip people, even unintentionally, not when you are just stating it and don’t want/need the help
my "silent treatment" happens because the other person made me like what I say doesn't matter or I feel like they don't care about me or the relationship enough to communicate so I don't either. The thing is it stems from my narcissistic dad who never cared about me and what I had to say so it's really easy for me to ghost people because I FEEL like they don't care but that's not the case. can't tell the difference though so I just stop talking to people if there's even a tiny indication that my presence is not needed. this is lead me to have month breaks of not being friends with people only to find out they thought that I ghosted out of nowhere but I thought they just didn't want to be friends anymore. not sure what to do about it tho. therapy? prob
Happened with me too! Just share memes ones in a while and whenever you talk to them just chat like a you met yesterday only. Don't get awkward. Just feel that you missed them and enjoy again having the opportunity to talk to them. Simple I know...but it will do.
Yes! Silence when you’re angry is the most powerful tool, imo it is always better to be quiet than say something you regret OR something that will be used against you later by a narcissist.
Honestly the last feels right at home. I really needed to see this! There have been times where I've been worried that I'm becoming a toxic, manipulative person. So seeing this really helps me to see/understand if my worries are true or not.
I didn’t know I was manipulative till one of my friends said “your manipulator aren’t you” and then a day or two after one of my other friends said “girl do you know how manipulative you can be” so i looked into it and payed attention to how I speak and act and did notice that I can be a little manipulative
Day #7 asking for this because I really think I need help, sorry kinda selfish. Hello! Can I suggest an idea? I am either way so yeah- I keep feeling guilty for this. Can you make a video for compulsive liars? Or just liars in general? I lied about who I am and got friends because I lied, I stopped everything and apologised to those friends. But then, I kept dwelling on that, they forgave me and they said they liked my personality. But now, I've realised that being friends with them brings me back unwanted memories and I can't forgive myself. My sibling showed me an example to try to help me. They said "Your shirt is blue." my shirt was turquoise so I said "It's turquoise but yeah." they said "No, I lied to you." then said "Do you forgive me?" I said, "Yeah. That doesn't help me what I lied about wasn't that minor." then they said "Yeah, that's how minor it was to them though." and that helped me alot. But now, it keeps reccuring. I can't forgive myself and I question why I deserve happiness.
I admire your insightfulness. And I really like the story about the blue ... sorry, turquoise ... garment. Sometimes, they are a big deal. And often dishonesty generates impressions that the liar may not have intended, nor foreseen. Happens often with chronic/compulsive fabrication. The creative fictions that such a one imparts unto their audience are not being heard in a vacuum. The listener may have info and/or experience and/or values that create his/her frame of reference through which the untruths could make the speaker look much worse than s/he really is. When this situation srises, and the person asserts the need for clarification, it's time to step up and clarify. That's a clear sign that the storyteller has dug him/herself into a hole. The other person is extending a hand to help the liar out of the hole and into the light. If the hand extending toward you is that of a Friend, then Take it. That's a good Friend ... one that you should not wish to lose. So, take the hand and resolve the problem. If you refuse it, then say goodbye. ~TD, Boston
I’ve always try not to be manipulative, but the end result is that, especially with the silence treatment. I just don’t want to fail, so I don’t speak. This video helped me a lot
Hi Psych2go: i was wondering if you could do a video on “signs you are in an unhealthy friendship” if it has not been done already. Thank you and love the videos
I find this too accurate. I consistently have the need for others to pity me and sympathize with me, I make promises I do not keep, I almost always keep quiet when in arguments or in conflict, and I twist the truth to make myself seem like a better person. I find that I am horrible with communication and I consistently lie to my loved ones, which started when I was a child. This has become very detrimental in my long term relationship and I have allowed myself to become a highly toxic person. I can't seem to stop lying to others in order for them to like me, including my own partner. I have found myself lying about who I am hanging out with because I know my partner would not like it. And yet I keep falling into the cycle of being deceptive, my partner finding out, having an argument, and then moving past the issue only for it to happen again. What the hell is wrong with me?
Looking back on previous relationships I’ve had with friends and family, I feel that I unintentionally manipulated them since others in my family have and I unknowingly got it from them. Seeing this video helped me come to terms with it and begin to make things right, thank you. Could you do a video on imposter syndrome or superiority/inferiority complex if you haven’t already?
I realized that this entire video is me. I always think that no one wants to help me but I don’t asses my wants and needs. I try to make sure everyone is happy even if they never say anything which leads to promises that I typically follow through with but lately I’ve been flaky. If I’m hurt I rather be silent then actually talk about it because I’ve thought for most of my life that anger was this negative emotion. I recently unintentionally manipulated and hurt someone I love/ loved. I made a situation bigger than it was, which built fear into me for a couple of months that led into indecision. This person is far away from me so it was easier for me to hide myself until the decision came closer. Then all that fear blew up on him. Although I apologized, I already know there is no getting through; even I prefer actions over words. Now I am taking the steps to be more emotionally aware of my tendencies as someone who grew up as an invisible child but no longer going to blame the world for who I am. I guess I just want to learn from this. Now I am questioning who am I.
Thank you so much it was really helpful as someone who is constantly to not be manipulative this is really helpful as it really shows how sometimes it was me who was the bad guy ❤
I've been reflecting more about some friendships I had and the ones I still have. I'm afraid that I was unintentionally manipulative, or even unintentionally toxic. I found out last year that I struggled all my life with childhood emotional neglect. While I'm starting to become more aware of my feelings, I am remembering all the times I was truly walled off or thought that I was doing my best to communicate and how it likely led to me coming off in ways that I didn't intend.
I think we're bad at integrating our own needs and goals with those of others. Self-denial is a universal virtue, but for some it is their salvation from being whiny and manipulative of the deep and purposeful people they should be. We should express the truth of what we perceive, rather than gratifying our desires to express ourselves and to be seen by others.
Here because my ex would tell me that I’m manipulative whenever I would voice my concerns and/or if I was upset about something he did. This just gave me the clarity that I am indeed not manipulative, rather he couldn’t communicate healthily or take responsibility. Thanks Psych2Go!
after i see this vid i feel like i probably am manipulative sometimes, although i dont really do this often. sometimes we have no choice to manipulate as a coping mechanism. as long as you dont do this often, i think it's fine. just know some boundaries
Comment below if you're guilty of this. Raises hand.
Also, watch signs you're depressed, not lazy here if you haven't: th-cam.com/video/q8HRGiUeZwc/w-d-xo.html
;-;
🤚
@Game Channel Minecraft Good morning!
@@Psych2go Good evening 😅
Nice video as always!! Keep it up!
Sign 1: Your friend sends you this video.
yikes
the fact i just thought of sending them it 😃
That’s too funny
i have a few people i needa send this to hbfsdfds
@@publicqrt yeah me too I feel like I’m just being crazy over it tho it’s not that big of a deal and I feel like she’ll flip her shit
everyone can be a little manipulative at times whether they like it or not.
Truest comment.
True but this video is about people that are manipulative a lot lot. Everybody can be a lot of things at times
True manipulation is far more consistent and repetitive than twisting facts a few times slightly
Exactly
it doesnt have to be that way if you intentionally look for signs you might be doing it before acting ^^
"ugh, is NoOobody going to clean this living room? FINE, i'll do this myself" - Asian mom's 101 to make someone clean the room.
lol can relate-
lol i'm asian, but idk how is it in your household, but my mom would still manage to complain and called me useless even after helped her out doing the chores
@@no-name1025 me too, i’m asian and my mom would criticize me if i don’t do chores the way that she wants me to do it, but she will also criticize me if i don’t do chores at all.
That's when you say: "Thanks, we appreciate your effort. It's very kind and thoughtful"
That way perhaps she will be motivated to clean the room again in the future, should the same problem arise.
like I would argue back during the argument, but that’d be worse...
I'd rather be silent than to say something that'll hurt the people that I'm talking to or something that I'll regret later.
great attitude!
-monica
I try to be silent when I'm angry, cause I'm scared that I might make things worse when I say something while I'm on rage.Then I try to talk to them later ,when I already analyze everything, and know im calm and on my right mind.
But I think I manipulate people unknowingly 😅
I used to think that too, but I would at least say, give me sometime to cool down and think it through first, it helps to assure them that they aren't being given the silent treatment, it's especially important at the start of relationships when they don't know much about each other yet
@@darylyap16 that's the best way to communicate! My gf and I recently agreed on a codeword that means exactly that when she needs to cool off after a fight; it gets the message across and reassures me that she isn't just ignoring me but she just needs time to chill, gotta love communication
Sometimes silence speaks louder. It's cool that you take the time to think about how your words might hurt others to prevent them from being even angrier at you, but others might perceive it as you ignoring them.
it’s hurts to admit that we are these things; my heart goes out to anyone who has to unlearn from doing this too
Yep I have to and so does my whole family which they aren’t going to want to do
I’m hurting so bad at moment because I am this way. God I sometimes have no idea how to help myself. This is my outlet so forgive me guys for sounding like a martyr. I hate the way I am
@@yasservalenzuela9738 Youre not alone, I feel the same
@@yasservalenzuela9738 I hurt my sisters all the time because of this. I’m the big sister I’m supposed to be there for them, not hurt them. I just don’t know how to fix myself
@@candygore1524 I get it. Life can be hard. Be kind to yourself but determined. Small steps. I just started practicing thinking twice before I dish out criticism, and not doing it at all if the reason I'm doing it is because I feel angry in the moment or want to feel better about myself. Next I'll be working on trying to uphold more of my promises which often get broken for no reason other than anxiety and depression. It was honestly very difficult for me to strive for change without continuing to play the victim all the time ("no one understands how hard this is, or why I'm this way") and at times, people are legitimately unhelpful. But we have to show up for ourselves, believe in our better intentions and believe that we can and will do better. The way you are may not be your fault, but it is your responsibility now, and you will do okay. We all live and learn.
I get scared that I am manipulative, thanks for this, I need this!
Fake, being a manipulator is my dream
@@Jasturtle what the fuck?
Yeah same
@@burlyfoil1022 some people don’t actually care about other people and want to be a manipulator seeing it as a joy to control and influence their decisions and feelings. That’s Something empaths try to avoid and don’t understand.
@@Jasturtle ya ok bud?
I always worry I'm manipulating people because my parents are controlling af, so I worry they're methods have rubbed off on me a bit. So I always do the complete opposite, and ironically I think that doing that in a way ends up manipulating people a little because they now shoulder the responsibility, so I try to just stay in the middle, I don't want anyone to feel what I felt, so I avoid people incase I'm making them feel that way accidentally.
i feel this
I can relate. Like, I'm pretty sure that my family is toxic and they're one of the reasons I struggle so much mentally (and physically too because psychosomatic, yah!) But the irony is that I may be becoming toxic and manipulative myself TTTT.TTTT
"What you resist, persists" - Dani Foxx
Instead of doing the opposite of what they do. Try to just be yourself. If you think you might accidentally be manipulative, try to be mindful of the things you say and do. Notice how whatever that may be, makes you feel.
I recommend you check out Dani Foxx's channel. She has a lot of insight on things like that. I hope this helps ^w^
Wow I relate to this HARDCORE. My parents are very controlling so I'm hyperaware of it and I try with all my might to not do this to others, but I always feel guilty that I do anyway.
Yea I feel this way everyday too. I feel like I’ve messed up a lot of relationships and respect with people because of this
my parents don’t rlly manipulate they just guilt trip me, like i’ll b chillin and they’ll say “remember when u used to love me and u listened to me” OUTTA NOWHERE
Guilt tripping is a form of manipulation
It’s manipulation
I just tell them to got cry somewhere else.
@@malu8380 ouch. That's.. kinda hurtful to them, but if they do it a lot, ig I understand
This is manipulation
I use the silent treatment. However, when I get talked down to, snapped at, and told I'm an idiot for making a comment, you learn to be quiet at nearly all times. It really sucks, but when everyone breaks their promise of "you can talk to me," there is no back and forth for understanding. So silence is the only road you have sometimes.
Same! Everyone made me feel like what I have to say doesn’t matter, they made fun of me and they emotionally abandoned me, now my communication skills are horrible because I usually use the silent treatment to defend myself because I don’t want to go back to feeling that pain that I did when I actually was communicating properly.
@@avieebvlogs8018 yes me too!! my "silent treatment" happens because the other person made me like what I say doesn't matter or I feel like they don't care about me or the relationship enough to communicate so I don't either. The thing is it stems from my narcissistic dad who never cared about me and what I had to say so it's really easy for me to ghost people because I FEEL like they don't care but that's not the case. can't tell the difference though so I just stop talking to people if there's even a tiny indication that my presence is not needed. not sure what to do about it.
ive recently been caught in a situation where someone im close me snapped at me and this was the only thing i felt like i could handle doing. I can never handle those types of situations and its a problem but the only thing i could do was escape and give the silent treatment
@@avieebvlogs8018 i feel you :')
I feel you
I feel extremely sad that I was already aware of this, finding myself doing literally everything in this video reminded me again how manupilating I am, without actually noticing. I am trying real hard to overcome so this content helped a lot 🥺💖
Are you still manipulative? If so, I'd love love to be your brother!
**sees mother about to do the laundry**
Me: hey mom I'll help!
Mom: oh no, it's ok it's ok
Also my mom: uGhH nOboDy eVEr OfFeRs tO hELp mE wiTh cHorEs iN tHiS hOuse, I dO eVerYtHinG bY mYseLf
Me: 👁👄👁
True😂😂
Too relatable 🥲
Yup
I-
Why are we so relatable?
Alternative Title: 5 behaviors I've learned from my parents and are trying to unlearn.
Perfectly said!
Absolutely true!
Yep my whole family is exactly like this so-
Spot on!
On the other hand, I'm trying to master the craft. Being the recipient of such tactics makes you realize its usefulness and worth. You can more easily achieve your goals, there's joy in being resourceful enough to get what you want, and punching past your naive guilt to manipulate is an effective way to do that.
thank you for covering this. I just realised I can be unintentionally manipulative. I got 4/5 of these behaviours. thank you for helping me see this so now I can be more aware of what I say and do so I can be less manipulative
How exactly would you say these behaviors manifest?
@@Resident--a I can sometimes over exagerate the truth, I can sometimes say that I'll be at an event and then forget about it or even forget to tell the person that I'm not going. I never really realised I was doing this until I saw this video so now I just have to be more aware with what I say and do in the future.
@@Mika121416 now I want you to stop for just one moment. When you "sometimes over exaggerate the truth" why? Are you doing it for gain? Do you do it to make it more dramatic? Or are you perhaps just not really clear on the entire msmory?
When you end up not being able to go somewhere when you said you would, is it because you don't have the energy to go (like in the case of depression)? Is it because something, somehow comes up? Is it because it slipped your mind? Or are you avoiding going because it's not worth your time?
The reason I ask these things is because it's extremely likely you're over reading yourself into these shallow points, this is one of those areas of this channel that I don't support because it ends up guilt tripping people such as yourself.
@@Resident--a I see what you're saying. For the exaggerating the truth, it really depends. sometimes I do exagerate for dramatic effect, like I tend to be like "I rember getting a huge bruise from falling one time." when it was only the size of a euro coin. And then there are times where I forget the full situation.
When it comes to the unable to go somewhere, it also depends. I haven't been mentally well for a few years and my anxiety stopped me from going places as I'd have really bad stomach cramps. somtimes things do come up so i have to cancel but in those situations, I make sure I say at least a few hours before hand at the latest. and then there are times where I just forget about the situations all together. because of all these situations, I became that unreliable friend who 'doesn't go out with us so we wont ask her out with us because either she'll say no or she'll forget.'.
@@Mika121416 so what can we gather from this?
On the occurrences where you're kind of talking a memory up, you're trying to make it more entertaining or impactful. That *could* be some fairly slight manipulation. Notice the emphasis on "could". Though realistically, you're simply embellishing the story a bit. Not a particularly good practice, but innocent enough to not warrant concern.
And as for your circumstances with being "unreliable", it sounds like you have mental issues that can accommodate for that. It doesn't sound like you're just doing it because. So I would hesitate to call that any kind of manipulation. Had you done it to get back at someone, or something similar, then the story would be different and even then, it would need to be a reoccurring theme to really warrant concern.
Be careful in which information you allow your mind to adopt, as this kind of information can worsen your mental state. Being open to seeing issues with yourself isn't wrong, though you need to also give yourself room for error, even when trying to take responsibility. Asking yourself what roles you played, how your actions influenced the outcome, other details in the same vein.
It's the same exact strategy to dealing with trauma. Though you don't really strike me as what this video claims. You've got a slight tendency to over exaggerate and that sounds to be about it.
Be kind to yourself, honest, but kind.
as someone who has constant anxiety about being a bad,manipulative and/or toxic person,this helps calm me down and helps me to insure I won't be manipulative :)
Being a bad, Manipulative & toxic person isn't always bad....IF the person your doing it to what's it!
Like if I was your brother, I'd welcome it! If I was your brother, I do ALL of your chores and let you take all the credit so you get paid/praised for them.
Id clean up ALL of your messes and if you have friends over...I would clean their mess also!
When you do something wrong, I would take blame for it so you dont get in trouble!
Id do all of your homework so you can do what you want to do!
I would never argue with you!
When we are both home....Id wait on you hand and foot....you would never have to lift a finger!
@@perryh.5306Not true at all.
Using people is dehumanizing and unjust, whether or not those people are aware of the unhealthy self-abandonment involved in agreeing to such things.
For such a situation to function (unethically), it requires 2 mentally ill people in self-abandoning agreement.
A slave in agreement is still a slave.
Know that your community will never respect such behaviour due to the growth-limiting effects that will stunt the community in the long-term.
I'm guilty of number 3. Whenever I have a row with a family member, I don't talk to them for several days and pretend they're invisible. I've always thought it was a better option than letting the argument escalate further
Same, if they were the ones being manipulative from the start than I just ignore that individual. Not because I don’t like them or hate them but it’s because I can’t bother trying with that individual anymore. I guess you can say one stops caring about the other person at the point, and I personally am okay with not caring about narc family members.
0:46 1. Saying that you will do everything yourself
1:27 2. You make promises a lot
1:59 3. You give somebody the silent treatment
2:38 4. You have distinct patterns in your language
3:14 5. You find yourself embellishing or twisting the facts
Oh shoot,I have 1 and 5-
I'm sorry
Took so long to find you dear time traveler
Edit: omg that was unintentional I don't know but maybe 4 and a little 5 and a little little 123 as well
I’m aware of number #3 but I only did this to set a healthy boundary
i've done 3/5 of these...shoot-
@@mgshadowkat3066 If you did it's Ok, nobody's perfect but God. we've all probably said all of these and didn't even mean to be manipulative it's our parents that need to teach us right from wrong, but I was raised by narcissists parents so I'm trying my best to learn and heal on my own.
* Flashbacks to the time I promised to bake my friends cookies because she was sick but my mother wouldn’t let me *
That's not manipulation though, it's just an unfortunate circumstance where you couldnt follow through
Don't be afraid to throw mama under the bus
:( have a psihug
-monica
@@tomharvey5466 cough you're kidding right?xD
@@liam8370 of course
I..actually relate to all the signs and now i'm worried. I always saw myself as someone who wants to help their friends, trying to make it seem like i'm the best person to the people i've met because i just really want to help people find that person that understands them..However i know now that i'm not and i can't pretend to be a "perfect" person forever. This video was really mind opening! I'll try to do these less and change to be a better person. Thank you so much for the video Psych2Go! This is really helpful for me.. and to other people who relate to this video, i just wanna let you know it's never too late to change and redeem yourself!
@@sophia12609 same here, I just currently messed a lot of things up and made myself seem like a victim. I deceived my friend's trust. No wonder my ex-friend lost all trust in me and never talked to us again. What I did sucked and I know it now. I am going to change my behavior for the sake of me and my friends. I wish you good luck as well
I relate to it tol and it piss me off
I also relate to it, my whole family is like this so I just thought it was okay to act like this. The worst thing for me is the silent treatment, if I’m upset at someone I go out of my way to not speak to them, see them and I get annoyed if I even hear their name. It’s really bad but I just get so angry and I don’t like talking about my emotions that much so usually I keep everything inside and try to avoid my problems; I’m not going to get far in life like that but I’m so tired. I try my best to stop that behaviour so I just stay silent almost all the time, I don’t want people to worry about me and I don’t want to be mean or manipulate them. This video helped me out to realize what I have done wrong but I still have all of that rage pent up inside me, it’s hard to let go of that behaviour but I’m trying so hard.
@@avieebvlogs8018 what’s best is that your aware of all these patterns. It’s ok to not know how to start changing these behaviors, as long as you know your goal and what you need to complete it. We all go at different paces and it’s ok to take a break sometimes! I hope this helps, stay safe :D
I manipulate some people...
On purpose because I honestly don’t need them around me. So I try to push them away... also I don’t know... im not sure if I want her gone but I graduating next week soooo ya.
Who cares? I’m not hurting anyone else... I need a fresh start! Sooooooooooooooooo ya! She’s so positive I’m not sure she can even tell...
I’ve needed this so much THANK YOU. I literally always catch myself gaslighting people.
I searched for this video after getting "manipulating others" from a skills test on school, next to innocents skills such as drawing, reading and singing. So it was a big shock for me seeing such a big word explaining how I do harm. I've always been told I was woke, and I could be a therapist. I took that to heart, and felt like enough people liked me. But that was not true. I have manipulated them liking me, subconciously. I didn't know my actions were like this. I realised, most of my real loves weren't real. Good to know it's not all my fault though. Wish I could improve myself to satisfy others
No I just like to clean 😅 I truly don't care if someone helps or not
same haha
do you really like to clean, or do you think no one will clean as well as you so its better of if you do it?
@@juchuva some people like to clean as a hobby just like how other people like painting/reading/playing/others as a hobby
@@leeknowisntyourbedsostopsl3505 yeah i know, i like cleaning too. but sometimes i get tired of cleaning and 2 seconds later its dirty agian because people dont collaborate with the clean environment. some people say im crazy 🤪 i ask for ppls help to at least maintain but no one can. i get caught thinking if i believe that only i know how to clean and maintain properly
@@juchuva I usually do it in the evening as a way to relieve stress
Omg the outro is amazing when they’re dancing lol
It's adorable :-)
thanks! x
-monica
The cartoon are so cute 😍
Yeah, it's so cute!
I love this. Taking time to be introspective about your actions and how it effects others is not practiced enough. These videos are a gentle way of calling us out on it 💚
Whenever my mom was mad at me, I would always stay silent, since no matter what I said, she wouldn’t believe me and it made the situation ten times worse. Most of the time, I did nothing wrong
Same
Same except my dad and then he wonders why I don’t tell him anything, when whenever I talk to him it just turns into a lecture or in his eyes I’m always wrong. My mom listens to me and she is the only one who even cares about me but that’s ever since she found out my depression was serious, she never really cared before.
Don't remember who said this but,
*"A good leader tricks his subordinate think his idea is theirs."*
So leadership is manipulation in a nutshell. Why is this a bad thing? I feel the word manipulation has a bad rep honestly. Manipulation skill is what makes human intelligent. We need manipulation skill to survive. Otherwise nothing will ever be done.
it’s better to simply be straight forward and the need to manipulate will cease
i think the bad rep comes from what i would call 'selfish manipulation', which is understandable.
Think of it like "A great nitpicker tricks YOU into doing (variable X) which is a bad thing. On completion, you are promised something that is never given to you... The power isn't in question.. The selfishness is.
Tecnechally in a way speaking, motivating someone is just another way of manipulation if you think about it, personally to me it depends on how you say it, the intentions and what you use it for, so you're not wrong
I think its context. You can manipulate a Rubiks Cube. Doing so to a person, or people often is a terrible personality trait. Occasionally having to get a reaction or action is acceptable. Women do it to men everyday for eons. And most of it we don't mind,
Giving the silent treatment is very relatable. Its something I need to work on, but its not always a bad thing, especially in toxic situations (where I learned to start doing it in the first place).
SAME everyone blames me but I didn’t want that type of toxicity in my life, I only learned this behaviour because I had to defend myself from other toxic people too many times. It’s started to become normal because there was constantly someone toxic or manipulative in my life I learned what they did for defensive reasons but it became more normal and it’s got worse
Oh thank god im not the only one
I was once in a relationship with someone who told me that I was being manipulative, so I was really nervous watching this video. I had thought perhaps she might have been right, because I knew I wasn't afraid to tell her if I felt like I wasn't being treated right. She later ended up dumping me for someone else. But now at least I know I wasn't being manipulative, I think I was just trying my best to relay that my minimum relationship needs weren't being met.
Often a manipulative person would not tell someone if they are hurt, they prefer to act in a certain way so as to get what they want. Communication hardly ever has anything to do with manipulation. Don’t worry
I’m glad this video was done. Many people talk about others manipulating but we can forget that we ourselves need to check and see that we aren’t being toxic to others.
This scares me because my family is manipulative so I’m afraid it’ll rub off on me. Needed to hear this honestly.
The silent treatment... How am I supposed to answer when being pressured and shouted at in the argument?
EXACTLY LMFAO
keeping calm yourself helps lots!
-monica
@@Psych2go Thanks Monica!
The silent treatment and silence are not the same. And sometimes, when dealing with abusive or toxic people, there really is nothing you can say - they won't understand, and they're likely to use whatever you say against you.
no fr i stay silent throught and just leave when they’re done bc if i’m afraid i’m going to say something rlly bad since i’m heated, plus it’s useless to argue with someone
i give the silent treatment a lot in arguments, mostly because im way too much of a dumbass to know how to defend my points. but yayy i dont think im manipulative :D i always feel so emotionally educated after watching your videos hehe - ❤ !!
Go to therapy! ;)
@@3333218 ...
@@3333218 lern how not to rude🙄
You really need to be honest with others around you. You need to open up how you really feel and what is really going. If you keep giving the silent treatment so many times others will avoid and you will start to feel lonely.
@SorryEntertainer not necessarily
I'm an INFP so taking space is part of how I process my emotions. It can be confused for silent treatment. I've taken up to saying "Yo, I'mma take some space to process sh*t. I'll brb." That way, there's no beef.
Me too, I say "hold up let me take this in for a second" or "wait I am processing this" in a way to give me a short break
Same here!!
Same except I’m horrible and I just leave
I’ve been told that I am manipulative and toxic, and I’m not even aware of what I’m doing when I’m like that! Seeing this video made some points I need to look more closely at. Thank you so much, psych2go!
This video came out at the perfect time. After some time of worrying about being manipulative, I can say I do have done some of the things mentioned here unintentionally and intentionally. Thank you so much for letting me see what I was doing wrong and helping me start the road to fix em. Let's be better people and Happy Easter! 😄
I’ve been binging your videos lately. My partner says that I’m a gaslighter, I didn’t know what that meant and I got angry. But now that I am educating myself on what it is and how I can change. The relationship is probably ended rn but I can still learn and grow
same thing happened but with my friend....she didn't say things ended but I can still learn and grow
Looks like I gotta change for good. I didn’t realize I was manipulative at all. Thank you for sharing this video! It was really helpful 💕
If I was your brother would could be manipulative towards me!!
If I was your brother, I do ALL of your chores and let you take all the credit so you get paid/praised for them.
Id clean up ALL of your messes and if you have friends over...I would clean their mess also!
When you do something wrong, I would take blame for it so you dont get in trouble!
Id do all of your homework so you can do what you want to do!
I would never argue with you!
When we are both home....Id wait on you hand and foot....you would never have to lift a finger!
I've messed up friendships and relationships because of insecurities and got demonized for being manipulative (unintentionally 😭)
i love you made this kind of video coz we are so quick to say others are "toxic" but barely look at ourselves to see if we are like that to others
I know deep down that I’m not toxic, rude, or manipulative but I’m always scared that I’m being a bad friend and sometimes it becomes so bad to the point where if I say something and I think I’m being rude I can’t stop thinking about that moment and that person until I ask if I was being rude or I hurt they’re feelings
I feel the exact same way.
I hate the fact that i can see myself while watching, Now i feel super guilty. I never knew i was being manipulative, Thank you for this..!!
Guilty as charged :( Hope this helps-
1. 0:46 Saying that you'll do everything yourself
2. 1:26 You make Promises a lot
3. 1:58 You give someone the silent treatment
4. 2:36 You have distinct patterns in your language
5. 3:12 You find yourself Embellishing or Twisting Facts
The biggest problem I have with many of these videos is the fact that they don't always take into account neurological 'disorders' (I use this term loosely as I myself am autistic) or abusive behavior. I find it very hard to speak during an arguement as it's usually with someone who doesn't want to listen. They just wanna be mad & blame me for however they're feeling. And I find it very difficult in these situations to think clearly and not say hurtful things back, making the situation worse. There's more to my thoughts on the rest of the things mentioned, but I just want to help spread awareness that many of these behaviors have very deep seeded reasons behind them. It's about more than just being aware that you do them, but understanding why, and knowing yourself well enough to know if they come from a place of genuine honesty. Be honest with yourself. It's one of the most liberating things you can do☀️
i agree!
i feel like pschy2go is an untrusty worthy source and doesn't account for other peoples situation. who knew that a "psychology" channel with 2 minutes video about complex subjects wouldn't be helpful, lol.. :/
@@hellolily7722 I beleive in this channels good intentions and their attempt at spreading knowledge and understanding. But many of the topics they 'touch' on are so deep and complex, that trying to fit certain subjects into a short video can send a very wrong message to those who don't know much about mental health or are still very young and still learning about the world. Some of the behaviors they talk about really need their own dedicated videos, or even series of videos, and I say this taking into consideration those who might not have access to counsellors or therapists who can devote the time each of us needs to helping us understand ourselves; for those whose only source of help is the internet and videos like this. If anyone is feeling the ways these videos talk about, it's so worth it to do further research, and if you can, talk with someone who has better insight. Nothing is as simple as it seems, no matter how much we want it to be.
Thank you for this! Sometimes I do worry that I manipulate others even if it’s not often. I hope I can reflect on it, realize what I’ve said to others even if it was unintentional and grow out of it
I've just watched this, now u know that I'm a manipulative person, I feel satisfied when I have the control of some people and make them believe what I say. I like feeling this, I makes me feel.. proud
To everyone who's reading this: you're cool and adorable stay safe ❤️
Oh this is. New comment what. As shame no heart
You too! stay cool and adorable.
Thank you 🥺💕 you’re cool and adorable too ✨
You too 💗
Thank you, you too! 💕
I'm a cancer and I tend to be passive-aggressive and become silent when I am unhappy with something. I mostly don't want to bring up the topic because I don't want to make a big deal out of it and be dramatic. That's why I feel uncomfortable being so straightforward🙁
The time I'm silent I constantly think about if the problem is even that big and I end up overthinking a lot. I just don't know man.
OMG 😱 sorry😣 I’m a caprisun!!1!! I can’t help it!!1!🤩
Sounds like a difficult predicatement. Maybe you can explore this with someone who feels safe to you?
Forgive me but i misinterpreted the first part "i have cancer" im laughing at myself now
@@kagavice lmaoo
@@kagavice i get that it sounds like this person is using their birthdate to excuse their behavior but instead of making fun of them don’t you think it would be better to give tips? and if you don’t have any advice to give, then at least try to sympathize. i do like your comment, it’s funny when it comes to non serious situations lmao
Stay away from people who can't take responsibilities for thier actions and who make you feel bad for being angry at them ,when they did you wrong......
Honestly, I prefer the silent treatment because everyone thinks I am that tough and emotionless girl, because I cope with some excruciating situations by myself, because i feel like I annoy everyone, but my methods are unhealthy. They think my life is amazing because I strike back at offensive people or just having the patience to ignore, but i do this only to the people I don't give a damn about. But no, it is not. And when I say something to defend myself (of course when I am not to blame) they find me toxic and rude and say that I am trying to manipulate them. So I prefer to stay silent and let everything hurt, because I've already cried so much I can't shed a tear or feel any strong empathy anymore.
my parents are really manipulative and I get scared that their methods have rubbed off on me. thank you for this!!!!!
Another way you can be unintentionally manipulative is if you are extremely persistent, almost never take no for an answer, and will always argue with someone if you disagree can manipulate others to be submissive because they’re either too scared to argue with you or don’t want to put up with you
The silent treatment is the most annoying one!!! Even though you explained everything already they just don't say anything making things more complicated or worse...
I only manipulate my little nephew who is four years to feed me his snacks lol , he's just so cute and always shares everything he owns .
You shouldn’t do that I knew a girl who gave everyone her snacks and had nothing to eat for herself.
😅😅
XD
@@ceonna3362 weak. This is 2 people we're talking about not a group of hungry children.
Send him a kiss and a huge hug please and please keep the little kindness grow and not into bitterness or being shame.
I'm actually very relieved. The silent thing I've been working on because I was taught silence was golden. Not for me. I need to talk to someone who will listen and give advice. That's been the best part. ❤ I'm happy I found this video! ☺
Wow, my GF does all of these things. I hate being within earshot of her when she relates whatever recent "bad" thing that has occurred to her - the story gets tuned for maximum sympathy every time it's shared with a new person. She soaks up the condolences like a lost soul in the dessert would consume water at an oasis.
"You give somebody the silent treatment"
" it is a manipulative thing and you shouldn't practice it"
*Yeah if only I had parents who didn't abuse me on every damn thing is say*
Seriously. When it comes to abusive people who have no interest in understanding or respecting you, sometimes silence is the best way to protect yourself from further abuse.
That's not giving the silent treatment, it's being abused
Please, if anyone who has talked to me before and is/has been my (online) friend reads this, I'm sorry. This video has made me realise what kind of person I really am, and I'm trying to fix myself.
“Do you often exaggerate your pain or discomfort?”
Do I?? I don’t know!!!
Honestly I do that but I don’t tell other people that I only tell myself that in my mind-
I think I start using manipulative tactics when I get scared. The problem is, that knowing I may have exaggerated something too much or guilt trip someone, doesn't actually make me feel better and often even more scared.
i have the exact same issue, being manipulative when your scared is a big one for me especially because it feels like a personal attack to you it doesn’t feel good
1. Saying that you will do everything yourself. 0:45
2. You make promises a lot 1:27
3. You give somebody the silent treatment 2:00
4. You have distinct patterns in your language 2:37
5. You find yourself embellishing or twisting the facts 3:14
I thinks it’s equally important to state that just cause others are insecure doesn’t mean you are in the wrong or being manipulative.
“Saying you’ll do everything yourself” it depends how you say it and the context… there’s a difference between just stating it as a fact part of what you’re doing (“I’m gonna do this this and this, then this too” and saying it in a way that guilt-trips others like “I guess I’ll just do it all by myself…(like always…)” because between the abusive so-called parents who accuse me of abusing their poor selves if I don’t do what they want when they want as if I were their slave, and being let down by so many people so learning to only depend on yourself and even when people say they’d help I decline because I don’t know how to not do things by myself so I don’t know how to need help (which I do need to work on), it’s only manipulation if it’s to guilt-trip people, even unintentionally, not when you are just stating it and don’t want/need the help
my "silent treatment" happens because the other person made me like what I say doesn't matter or I feel like they don't care about me or the relationship enough to communicate so I don't either. The thing is it stems from my narcissistic dad who never cared about me and what I had to say so it's really easy for me to ghost people because I FEEL like they don't care but that's not the case. can't tell the difference though so I just stop talking to people if there's even a tiny indication that my presence is not needed. this is lead me to have month breaks of not being friends with people only to find out they thought that I ghosted out of nowhere but I thought they just didn't want to be friends anymore. not sure what to do about it tho. therapy? prob
Happened with me too! Just share memes ones in a while and whenever you talk to them just chat like a you met yesterday only. Don't get awkward. Just feel that you missed them and enjoy again having the opportunity to talk to them. Simple I know...but it will do.
@1833 Prachi Bala thank you that’s good advice
The silent treatment is necessary when someone toxic is in your presence.
Yes! Silence when you’re angry is the most powerful tool, imo it is always better to be quiet than say something you regret OR something that will be used against you later by a narcissist.
I find this video to be a great change of pace, since most subjects discussed paint yourself as the victim.
me: watches video to see if im manipulative
*realizes that many people in my life are manipulative instead*
We all here with insomnia accidentally early
you good?
-monica
@@Psych2go no 💀
OMGGG IM ACTUALLY EARLY I LOVE YALLS ADVICE
Hello! :)
Hello me too 😂
me too xd
Hello everyone :) how are you doing today?
@@nakshatramusic21 good 😊
Honestly the last feels right at home. I really needed to see this! There have been times where I've been worried that I'm becoming a toxic, manipulative person.
So seeing this really helps me to see/understand if my worries are true or not.
I didn’t know I was manipulative till one of my friends said “your manipulator aren’t you” and then a day or two after one of my other friends said “girl do you know how manipulative you can be” so i looked into it and payed attention to how I speak and act and did notice that I can be a little manipulative
I stg if TH-cam is low-key trying to throw shade at me ima-
Ah yes, my orphanage caretaker is "Unintentionally" manipulative.
Day #7 asking for this because I really think I need help, sorry kinda selfish.
Hello! Can I suggest an idea? I am either way so yeah- I keep feeling guilty for this.
Can you make a video for compulsive liars? Or just liars in general?
I lied about who I am and got friends because I lied, I stopped everything and apologised to those friends. But then, I kept dwelling on that, they forgave me and they said they liked my personality. But now, I've realised that being friends with them brings me back unwanted memories and I can't forgive myself.
My sibling showed me an example to try to help me. They said "Your shirt is blue." my shirt was turquoise so I said "It's turquoise but yeah." they said "No, I lied to you." then said "Do you forgive me?" I said, "Yeah. That doesn't help me what I lied about wasn't that minor." then they said "Yeah, that's how minor it was to them though." and that helped me alot.
But now, it keeps reccuring. I can't forgive myself and I question why I deserve happiness.
I admire your insightfulness. And I really like the story about the blue ... sorry, turquoise ... garment.
Sometimes, they are a big deal. And often dishonesty generates impressions that the liar may not have intended, nor foreseen. Happens often with chronic/compulsive fabrication. The creative fictions that such a one imparts unto their audience are not being heard in a vacuum. The listener may have info and/or experience and/or values that create his/her frame of reference through which the untruths could make the speaker look much worse than s/he really is. When this situation srises, and the person asserts the need for clarification, it's time to step up and clarify. That's a clear sign that the storyteller has dug him/herself into a hole. The other person is extending a hand to help the liar out of the hole and into the light. If the hand extending toward you is that of a Friend, then Take it. That's a good Friend ... one that you should not wish to lose. So, take the hand and resolve the problem. If you refuse it, then say goodbye.
~TD, Boston
I’ve always try not to be manipulative, but the end result is that, especially with the silence treatment. I just don’t want to fail, so I don’t speak. This video helped me a lot
watching these at night with a test I didn’t study for coming up the next day hits different
Hi Psych2go: i was wondering if you could do a video on “signs you are in an unhealthy friendship” if it has not been done already. Thank you and love the videos
thanks for the kind words, noted x
-monica
Hey
I would like to see this as well!
Me at 4:00am: I should go to sleep
Phsyc2go *releases video*
Me: interesting
Woah it 7:00 pm here
2:05 pm here rn :']
ME RN-
it's 5:06 AM
@Christiana Maria Ortega Nope
Oh no, im gonna get exposed
Welp now your exposed and first lol
@@azirafell ;-;
felt this 😭😭 i dont mean to sometimes tho :p
@@rayamaeya same! I dont even realize i manipulate people O_o
I find this too accurate. I consistently have the need for others to pity me and sympathize with me, I make promises I do not keep, I almost always keep quiet when in arguments or in conflict, and I twist the truth to make myself seem like a better person.
I find that I am horrible with communication and I consistently lie to my loved ones, which started when I was a child. This has become very detrimental in my long term relationship and I have allowed myself to become a highly toxic person. I can't seem to stop lying to others in order for them to like me, including my own partner. I have found myself lying about who I am hanging out with because I know my partner would not like it. And yet I keep falling into the cycle of being deceptive, my partner finding out, having an argument, and then moving past the issue only for it to happen again. What the hell is wrong with me?
i used to tell my friends "im not your friend anymore" as a joke but one of them would take it seriously but when i noticed it i stopped.
Thank you guys for inspiring me to start my own TH-cam channel!😊❤️
Good job! What is your channel mission?
Looking back on previous relationships I’ve had with friends and family, I feel that I unintentionally manipulated them since others in my family have and I unknowingly got it from them. Seeing this video helped me come to terms with it and begin to make things right, thank you. Could you do a video on imposter syndrome or superiority/inferiority complex if you haven’t already?
Finally I’m early do more dating advice pls
I’m not manipulative, but I like watching these videos to be better informed on how not to be, or how others are
Some people tell me I’m twisting stories.. but I’m not intentionally, my perspective was just different than theirs. And it actually hurts me..
I'm pretty sure it's just something i picked up from my parents since i grew up in an abusive household
Same except my household was just emotionally neglecting
Sign 6: Petyr Baelish is your favorite GoT character.
Watching to see if I’m becoming like my mum 🥰
Edit: I think I am nooo 😔😭
I can relate 😅
I realized that this entire video is me. I always think that no one wants to help me but I don’t asses my wants and needs. I try to make sure everyone is happy even if they never say anything which leads to promises that I typically follow through with but lately I’ve been flaky. If I’m hurt I rather be silent then actually talk about it because I’ve thought for most of my life that anger was this negative emotion. I recently unintentionally manipulated and hurt someone I love/ loved. I made a situation bigger than it was, which built fear into me for a couple of months that led into indecision. This person is far away from me so it was easier for me to hide myself until the decision came closer. Then all that fear blew up on him. Although I apologized, I already know there is no getting through; even I prefer actions over words. Now I am taking the steps to be more emotionally aware of my tendencies as someone who grew up as an invisible child but no longer going to blame the world for who I am. I guess I just want to learn from this. Now I am questioning who am I.
I do embellish at times. I learned that from my father and he has always been a toxic influence in my life. I will work on that.
I think I’m manipulative at times, and a part of me realised it but it’s still unintentional (idk how to explain)
Ye I know what you mean lol- it's kinda like I can't help it even if I somewhat know what I'm doing is manipulative
So basically, existing is manipulative?
the title already called me out-
ong
same-
Thank you so much it was really helpful as someone who is constantly to not be manipulative this is really helpful as it really shows how sometimes it was me who was the bad guy ❤
I've been reflecting more about some friendships I had and the ones I still have. I'm afraid that I was unintentionally manipulative, or even unintentionally toxic. I found out last year that I struggled all my life with childhood emotional neglect. While I'm starting to become more aware of my feelings, I am remembering all the times I was truly walled off or thought that I was doing my best to communicate and how it likely led to me coming off in ways that I didn't intend.
I show all 5 of these signs but luckily my brain is good at manipulating me into thinking i'm not manipulative.😎
By commenting this I think your brain just failed manipulating you into thinking you are not manipulative. Good luck
I think we're bad at integrating our own needs and goals with those of others. Self-denial is a universal virtue, but for some it is their salvation from being whiny and manipulative of the deep and purposeful people they should be. We should express the truth of what we perceive, rather than gratifying our desires to express ourselves and to be seen by others.
"number one, saying that you'll do everything for yourself"
Latina moms: 👁👄👁
Here because my ex would tell me that I’m manipulative whenever I would voice my concerns and/or if I was upset about something he did. This just gave me the clarity that I am indeed not manipulative, rather he couldn’t communicate healthily or take responsibility. Thanks Psych2Go!
after i see this vid i feel like i probably am manipulative sometimes, although i dont really do this often. sometimes we have no choice to manipulate as a coping mechanism. as long as you dont do this often, i think it's fine. just know some boundaries