ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 มิ.ย. 2024
- Manipulators use different tactics to get you to believe them and abandon truth and fact. In 1987, Buss, Gomes, Higgins, and Lauterbach defined the six most used tactics by manipulators as charm, giving the silent treatment, coercion, reason, regression, and debasement. Let’s take a look at what these tactics are and some phrases that a manipulator may use to make you feel bonkers!
Disclaimer: This video is for informative purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose or treat any condition. Please reach out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional if you are struggling.
Writer: Brie Cerniglia
Script Editor: Vanessa Tao
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
Animator: Cristina B.
TH-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
Official Discord: / discord
References:
Buss, D. M., Gomes, M., Higgins, D. S., & Lauterbach, K. (1987). Tactics of manipulation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52(6), 1219-1229. doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.52.6.1219
Winter, T. (2015, January 27). 12 tactics of manipulation in relationships. Knowledge Centre. Retrieved May 31, 2022, from blog.dtssydney.com/12-tactics-of-manipulation-in-relationships
![[MPD직캠] 베이비몬스터 직캠 8K 'LIKE THAT' (BABYMONSTER FanCam) | @MCOUNTDOWN_2024.6.13](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/8qa-nm9bCLs/mqdefault.jpg)
the problem is, the manipulative person is inside your home and has already convinced everyone else that they're the victim🙄
Felt 😂
Lil brother lore
fr
@@Steffanie.27 tu sentido del humor es genial!!
Fr
I really love that you have Amphibia characters as it is a perfect example of toxic friendships and this is one of my favourite TV shows. One of the toxic traits did include Sasha being the manipulator of the group so she keeps the friendship under control, while she does care for her friends, her methods were pretty harmful. Good intentions or not, I learned to stand my ground.
Oh I never noticed it's one of my favorite TV shows too
I wish everyone who is in any relationship with a manipulative person the strength to resist their manipulations 🙌🏻
Pfft, it wouldn't be enough honestly... It's not like all of them r the same type and scale of manipulative
@@friendlybendy2070 probably true, but from my experience knowing one’s own values and worth helps immensely with handling manipulative people:)
I pray they get out of that toxic relationship
Except the manipulators themselves
My narcissist ex was like this, i broke up with him and then everyone turned on me so i had to act like i was joking…I continued to suffer just to not lose some ‘friends’…now all of them are blocked. This was when i was 15, now im older and hopefully wiser.
my parents used every single one of these tactics on me my whole life to exploit me in LEGITIMATELY every way possible, emotionally, physically, sexually, and financially keeping me silent, isolated, and confused. you have no idea how much i appreciate this channel spreading awareness and education. Thank you.
I feel sorry for you but wtf, how did you get sexually exploited ? I feel so sorry for you, hope you're better now.
@@actuallynotaratkid3670 it can happen very easily if you have no where to go you're trapped no way out and nobody listens to you even if you try talking to them
I'm sending you the most heartfelt prayers your trauma was never your fault be been traumatized to it dosent leave you even f people say it gets better you just live with it best you can
My parents did all these too. I used to think this was normal until I found it was toxic! Disillusioned much!
@@evermoore66665 Same, my mother is a narcissist and an excellent guilt tripper, my father has anger issues, but luckily I've learnt how to live with it.
I was recently in a toxic relationship. Both sides were in the wrong honestly. I just realized that we were basically manipulating each other unknowingly. Shit now I need reevaluate.
same tbh
@@ddddddd3432 I am sad that he left
@@mxb1585 same fren but we gonna get through this be strong and let yourself feel those needed emotions💓💓💓
@@ddddddd3432 need hug
There’s nothing worse than a gaslighter especially when it’s someone you love 🥺
Cheers bro I'll drink to that
@@wulfdoesathing4515 if I can, i'll gladly do murder for that gaslighting...
that’s true, but we have the power to change that
@@chelsea-20980 how?
Honestly
I've been on a relationship with a manipulator who actually admited being one and also proud of it. I was too innocent to see how that was a really big red flag, and now I'm struggling with emotional dependance. I've also found out after my breakup, that a friend who I considered one of my best friends, was also manipulative, so now I'm taking my time and putting those people aside. Luckly I still have great real friends who are supportive and have been helping me since my breakup.
At least that relationship partner is aware of that fact, too many of the worse off manipulators r in eternal sefl-denial
But regarding that friend though... Sigh... It's one of the reasons why I dislike interacting with outside peeps
@@friendlybendy2070 it's hard, I'm still deciding how to answer and tell her I don't wanna be friends anymore.
Every manipulator is extremely insecure, their cognitive functioning is compromised, their brains are broken. Always good to emphasize this
And to help them rehabilitate, we can encourage them to maintain healthy habits, go to therapy and introspect, rethink their life choices
it's scary how similar of a situation i was in a couple of years ago. said "best friend" and partner were both extremely possessive of me and hated each other. i stuck with the best friend, only to realize a while after they were both just as bad as the other.
i don't associate with either anymore.
Omg! Amphbia and The Owl House references! I love how you guys always include so many different references to different shows and other topics!
ikk right, i was like "HOLD UP AIN'T THAT ANNE AND HER MUM?" when i saw that scene lol
2:12 Fairly Odd Parents
4:33 Cooking Companions
3:06 Doki Doki Literature Club
5:06 Danganronpa
I looooooove the references please continue putting them in, and also I love the videos!
Also Amphibia and the owl house
so it wasnt just me that immediately recognized Monaca in 5:06, cool
Wasn't expecting to see a DDLC or Danganronpa reference in one of these videos, much less a UDG plot twist reference
I noticed cooking companions and lost it
4:07 Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends :]
All the references to my favorite shows~
SO GREATTTTTT
LOVE YOU ANIMATOR OF THIS ONEE
Fairly oddparents, Amphibia & lot more!!!
My grandmother does all of these and every time anyone calls her out, she pretends to be all insulted, then goes behind their back and gossips about them to everyone else (as if we all don't know she's doing this with us too).
She also denies her issues and pretends they aren't there (for example, her loneliness and isolation) even when I call her out to try getting her to do sth about it.
She also constantly gaslights me and my siblings into trying to think badly of our other grandmother. It's REALLY starting to piss me off.
Are we cousins or is it a grandmother thing? 😂
Jokes aside, my grandmother is just like that, I just didn't take years to realize because my mother is a incredibly intuitive person so she has always noticed my granny's behaviour. But yeah, I know how you feel, it sucks when it's someone from your family.
Holy shit are we siblings? Like bro, my Grandmother is the exact same.
@@lorranycarvalho9432 it is in fact a grandma/mother thing.
My grandmas on both sides do the same and the worst thing is my parents learned from them.
Every time there's a family phone call in the vicinity I feel like I'm surrounded by snakes. I legit have a horrible example of their toxic, gossipy crap.
I have a trans ftm cousin and during new years eve my mom went from talking smack about him to my grandma on the phone to calling him with a smile on her face and misgendering him all the damn time in front of his girlfriend to hugging us at midnight and mocking him behind his back again to calling his mom/her own sister and talking trash about him next... all in the name of God. As if religion didn't teach about acceptance, just prejudice. As if my cousin living a miserable life for the sake of keeping someone else's status quo would be fair to demand. There's just no way to claim it's all for pity or LOVE or morals or his "own good" and say the horrible, mocking things they said.
I was so grossed out that night, so much I vividly recall I had to muster the courage to hug my mom back on new years, and did so solely because I've been living rent free at my parent's during these difficult times.
I relate to my cousin's situation a tiny bit because, although not transgender myself, I've also repressed a lot of my identity because of my parents. My personal space is so violated in this house that I can't even trust my sketchbooks aren't being looked into when I'm not holding onto them. My mother often walks into my room without knocking, snoops into my stuff, modifies furniture when she knows I'm not around to say no, got money from my wallet, opened my mail and medical files, all behind my back. To avoid getting kicked out, I simply hide my shit even further and talk less each day. I never even got a tattoo I wanted because I don't wanna deal with their nasty comments. Having an unexpected hairstyle, not being clean shaved, wearing different clothes, all of those could lead to awkward family situations. I'm 30 years old. That's 3 decades of self erasure for the sake of others and I'm not sure I can tolerate another. You know what? More power to my cousin for being brave to live his truth. If he'll have to put up with bullshit anyways, might as well live his life to the fullest. Y'all go live your lives to the fullest, too.
Til this day they just can't respect him and my mom will repeatedly bring up his deadname when talking about him. That's not what you do to someone who was part of your life and family, who grew up with/near you or under your care, who you claim to love. Even if he changed his clothes and name, he's still the same person we knew for so long. He's not killing anyone, he's just trying to live his best life and stay true to himself. My dude legit did nothing wrong and I feel so bad for him. And I know that me being one of the few (cousins) who respect his identity won't ever make up for the fact that his own mother, aunt and grandmother never will.
And they know, that's why they test my/our patience every single day. That's where they take their power trips from, pissing people off and knowing they're the ones who will remain seemingly calm and collected before the backlash, so they can keep claiming that we're the problem. They only ever react poorly or act "guilty" if caught in the act and if we're lucky enough to earn an apology or unsolicited gift, it's usually because they want some favor from us later.
It's gotten to a point where it's _really_ hard to even love them back.
Same here. And my other inherited it.
That was also the same with the grandma and parents of my ex.
The time when her grandma said to her in my back out of nowhere that she won't die in peace if she's still with me when it will happen... One if the most worst words I heard in my life. Just because I felt around good people and with my soulmate so I haved taken my courage to speak about my family's past for the first time (i have PTSD) after the grandma encouraged me to do it, "I see you're in some kind of pain
Don't let it in you, you can talking about it with us." she said. What she did after that with her girl was the start of the end of our mental peace and very loving relationship. I can't still believe something deeply disgusting like that can happen. Completely destroyed me for two entire years and still doing at some parts.
2:33 the way that its sasha and marcy 😍😭
As someone who was early diagnosed with autism, I had to learn how to be human over time. I find these helpful in checking myself to ensure I am not being inadvertently hurtful to others.
As they say, my best advice is to always stand your ground, but do it in a polite and compassionate way. However if they get very persistent; e.g. cursing, getting aggressive, you can always walk away or then really make it clear that you’re not tolerating their disrespect. Hope this is helpful to anyone who needs it, and if anyone has different ideas, please share!
I can’t my dad is the horrible guy and in the eyes of the court we got a court order to stop dad from taking me but he’s hurting me emotionally same as my nana they say I sound gay and say i look pregnant just because in lock down I gained weight I’m now really really skinny because of them like unhealthy skinny
We don’t stroke no Ego’s around here holly
I couldn’t even escape the shit I was in somehow, I was damned if I do and damned if don’t no matter how the situation unfolded
The people that do very hurtful and disgusting acts take advantage of the weakness of those who are struggling, in those situations there will be no ass kissing
Yikes, I use the silent treatment one. I essentially like being left alone and when someone does something mean or something I dislike, I do my best to avoid them because I feel if I see them, I’ll get angry again 🥺
I do the silent treatment in the same way you do. I'd say in our case it's similar to ghosting and lacking confrontational skills. :C personally I get very nervous with confrontation and communicating in the moment so I avoid people for quite a while before we talk and sort out the issue.
plsss why the 🥺 emoji
That's called taking a step back.
Silent Treatment is used to intentionally hurt someone.
@@SequencerMannot49 meh, oh well then
2:25 sasha and marcy from amphibia !! :D
Sometimes I kinda do a silent treatment on people, but only when I'm so mad that I need to shut up or I'll say things I don't mean. And even then it's not with one person, it's actually being completely silent until I calm down.
That's more taking a step back so you don't say something you'll regret. That's wisdom. Silent treatment is staying silent to hurt someone when you know they want to talk about something, usually something hurtful that person did.
My mom and sister do the silent treatment all the time. It drives me friggin CRAZY!!!!!
They KNOW they don't have a valid logical response to my arguments, so they just clam up to get me to act more emotional and use my emotional reaction to invalidate my logical argument. It's using emotion to defeat logic.
It's a manipulation tactic to get me to dig myself in deeper. Someone goes silent on me, I have a tendency to keep pushing until that silences gets broken.
The silent treatment can bring on anger. be careful how you use it. You are likely just making things worse.
@@peterbelanger4094 which is why I'm almost ticked off to use actual physical means to permanently end the problem...
@@peterbelanger4094 im with you that theyre wrong but i think its better that you regulate your reaction to their silent treatment as well. Logic is nice of course but it’s half of what makes us human. You can say no to their stance but practice not to let if shake your whole soul for a good amount of time only to destroy your day and likely your relationship. Say no and walk away and set that boundary if you think its a boundary that will keep you sane. If you fall out of it, so be it, but chances are good that you guys will just learn to live with each other’s boundaries
@@peterbelanger4094 Someone told me here that what I do isn't silent treatment because I don't do it to hurt anyone, I do it as a way to control myself so I don't give an emotional reaction. So if anything I would advise you to do the same when your mom or sister give you the silent treatment. Just stop talking, take a step back and refuse to give that emotional reaction that will bring logic to ruin.
My past best friend was using two of those manipulative things :
- first she would use the silent treatment. She never really thought about her wrong doings. For her, I was the bad person no matter what and she wanted me to feel guilt and make the first steps.
- secondly she would hide behind her mental health to excuse her actions so that I feel like I was not good enough as a friend.
When she didn't get what she wanted by using those methods, she would come back to me saying "I'm sorry" adding "BUT you should put yourself in my place... " or things like that.
The worst thing is she didn't even realized it was manipulation.
I tried my best to understand her and be on her side, but she didn't give back... It took time for me to realize our relationship had become toxic. And even though it hurts to break a relationship, in the end we have to do so in order for all of us to live better. No matter what your friends did in the past, no matter how long you knew them, if your relationship becomes to eat your self confidence or if it brings the worst in you : then it means it's time to end it.
Finally someone understand me
My bestie is a manipulator too and I get so mad when I see she manipulating inocent people who don't know.
@@runawaymasterpiece5008 Maybe you should talk to her then? By using the right words. And if she still doesn't reflect on her actions maybe you should consider something else.
@@fandujapon Thanks, I will try it :]
That's some of things my mom, grandma and uncle used to me the major party of my childhood and teenage years. One another thing for example was to made me feel like a bad person and that I don't care of them if I forgot to say happy birthday or if I forget the mom's / grandma"s day after waking up. Few years later when I was gone, they continued to do that but differently. If I forgot then my mom automatically holds on any money for me from my family until I said those words with excuses. Even if I needed it badly or if it was my birthday. Fun fact : since few years now my uncle never remember my age and want to quit every call from me quickly because "he don't like talking by phone" but talks a lot more with my brother. And the fun part is even if he said that he can be passive aggressive saying something like "well I will have news from you the next year I guess".
I lived with people being super manipulative, toxic, narcissic and even violent at some parts.
Brings me PTSD and takes me years to realize and seeing good professional. I was so lost and in silent pain so I did or said wrong or very bad things to people who was kind and lovely with me each time my past knocked too hard in me without understanding what happened to me. Like my conscious was blinded or gone for a quick moment until I woke up and realized what I was doing and feeled immediately so bad. I cannot recognized me and I still don't really do honestly. This person wasn't me and I can't close my eyes on all of that, like I'm not a good person anymore. Not the one I always wanted to be. That's hurt.
So you haved done the right thing for you and don't hesitate to see a professionnal if you feel like you haved been deeply hurted. Don't let it eats you in silent if you don't want to eventually regret it later when it's too late. This sh*t have the power to grab you until you change time to tome in a terrible way, making a battle with what you really are deep inside you and what you lived in the past.
I'm so sorry, you must've gone through a lot there. I used to act like your past friend and am currently trying to change to avoid situations like this and stop hurting people, and honestly looking back doing manipulative stuff like that is such a shitty move, especially with friends or people considered close. Good on you for leaving, especially because friendships like that are very toxic.
ALL these were what I thought "parenting" was, cause that's how it was growing up. Then I found that was all toxic and wrong. I was very disillusioned when I found out.
This video has existed for 2 weeks? How strange…
They re-upload videos to respread the info so that new people can see it & get the advice & get the info to seek help. It's a good tactic. I'm glad that they keep up at it to help those in need.
Love all the references ❤❤
My sister uses the coercion one, usually - yes - in the form of threats. (ex: "Do this or I'll break your computer." or "I'll shout in your ear so you can't sleep until you keep arguing with me.") As for another one, my mother should be the poster child for silent treatment. She gave me and my sister the silent treatment for years when we were in our 20s. Literal years. One time it was 3-straight years of her not speaking to us at all. I still don't know what we could possibly have done to warrant that punishment from her. She started up the silent treatment again with me a couple of years ago, after I said something she "didn't like". It hurts so bad when it is family you still love...
My younger sister tries to manipulate the rest of us all the time, but I'm the only one that seems to realise it, so I usually play her at her own game. It's quite entertaining to see her think she's genius IQ and a master trickster all for it to fail when she tries to pull it on me.
@@melonmode4128 good for u
Leonora, that blackmailing first part is disgusting, find her weakness and maybe manipulate her back, trust me, a large proportion of manipulators will *NEVER change forever*
Aw that sounds awful, I really feel for you :/ I pray that God fills you with his Love during this hard time
Wow, that sister sounds like she has a vicious evil spirit. Your strongest defense would be to pray it off her. Rebuke that evil in the name of Jesus!
Love the Amphibia reference
Fr!
And Fairly oddparents reference!
0:13 The fact that they used Belos and Hunter/Golden Guard for the animation though...
0:46 Anne and her mother
2:21 Sasha and Marcy
From a sincere, straightforward person who could easily be manipulated even by a non-manipulative person, to a person who now would join the manipulator's game only to manipulate the manipulators (while remain sincere and straightforward to those who don't manipulate). The journey was tough but possible, we have no option but to rise because evil won't stop grow in society and we gotta hold them under control.
Thank you so much for making these kinds of videos. To people who have been manipulated by nearly all of their family and loved ones, it can difficult to tell that these behaviors aren’t normal or healthy. It really helps put things into perspective and realize they aren’t to blame for all of that mistreatment.
This video is wild. The 6 is literally what lead me to 2. It's not to punish people, but to protect myself.
When communication gets you nowhere that's how it ends. And I haven't been able to get myself out of that since.
same here.
Its actually called talking a step back.
Silent treatment is used to intentionally hurt someone.
Honestly I was using charm on a person when I was younger and I did not realize that I was manipulating them, I thought that I was just trying to convince them .
While they're similar, I think there's kind of a difference between persuasion and manipulation. Persuasion is intended to argue for a point of view or an action; manipulation is meant to persuade someone else into doing your bidding. There's a difference between saying "Come to the amusement park, it'll be fun!" and "Take out the trash, you're so good at it.*
Using charm on a parent is okay every once in a while, so long as the intent is innocent. It's okay to try to charm someone with power over you, but trying to charm an equal is kind of worrying. There should be enough trust in that relationship that manipulation isn't necessary.
Who hasn't used charm to unknowingly manipulate there parents? Looking back I did that a lot. I still wait for my parents to be in a good mood to ask questions, but for a slightly different reason.
On and off for months the silent treatment has worn me down... can't take it anymore.
0:50 Nice Amphibia reference. ;)
2:10 Yeah, and Fairly oddparents reference ^^
Loved that DokiDoki reference on 3:08!
2:10 there also Fairly oddparents too
2:21 Amphibia reference
Hello! I’ve been a long time fan, for about 2 years now. I just want to say, you helped me see what I was going through and try help those around me and myself. Thank you.
I have to say that seeing so much of people in the comments talking about bad parenting or family issues they went through is sooo hearthwarming. I feel more normal and connected to many people around the world. Living this kind of nightmare is one of the best ways to feel apart and lonely when your friends, your significant one or even strangers have a true loving family so they are happy to be with them every week-end and holidays. Being alone at Christmas or birthday for example is very sad. It's a relief to know from my eyes that I'm not alone with a painful family past.
Hope you guys are being good in your life and with yourself a bit more day after day. Take care and don't forget to move forward, keep growing.❤️
Really appreciate this upload ❤️
I appreciate listing the items in the front of the video! I know you need the engagement for the entire video, but it’s helpful to do this since I’ve been learning a lot about myself already, and want to hone in on something specific 🎉
I was accused as a "nagger" because my ex never got round to jobs I'd asked him to. So we bought flooring to replace some damaged boards during a week we couldn't afford it. Over a year later, job was not done. I only revisited the reminder when it was the only item left in the garage when I moved out.
There's nagging and there's laziness. I didn't dare go up and say "oh you're on your video game" or the arguments would start. Even his son asked for help with his personal problems but the game was more important.
Yeah, that part of this video was especially confusing for me. I don’t understand how asking someone to follow through on what they said they’ll is manipulation.
@@phoenixrisen3077 same, i don’t get that either. if you’re supposed to do something important and you don’t do it for weeks then that’s on you, especially if you promised to do it
Albeit unfortunately, my immediate family use a LOT of these. Thanks for the explanations. Love your videos. Keep it up!
I love listening to this channel before going to sleep.💗 So relaxing.
This was maxing because you used practical every day examples. This was helpful to everyone nor just people in toxic or abusive relationships. Thank you.
I always really appreciate that you include examples from/based on popular cartoons or video games. It makes sure the video resonates with people who are younger or who aren’t the most socially adept irl but can pick out the exaggerated traits of cartoon characters more easily. You don’t dumb it down for the people that get it but you do make it more accessible to people who might need more help and that’s really cool
i had a friend when i was younger that when i first met him he was extremely nice and calm he was extremely fun to play games with until he had to move schools and then when i moved schools i was in his school in the same class and this time he had a huge attitude and a giant ego he was also smart and he knew how to play with my mind and control me like a puppet until i met someone that know what manipulative people are and i pretty much learned how to say “no” properly and how to get more brave and soon he just stopped he tried to ignore me to try and get me to go back to him but i kinda just forgot about him then i met him again and he tried to manipulate me trying to correct me trying to intimidate me trying to get me to praise him but he knows that he already lost
Thanks, it’s always nice to get advice on what else works for my schemes.
I’m so thankful for a scholarly backed up TH-cam channel on psychology. There’s a lot of misinformation and it confuses me.
Take care of yourself everyone 💗
1. Charm 0:39
2. Silent Treatment 1:23
3. Coercion 2:06
4. Reason 2:57
5. Regression 3:50
6. Debasement 5:00
Thank you!
saw myself in 2 of these and have been exposed to the rest. i had no idea on some and i am so grateful you posted this so i can learn to do better 🙏
I work with a narcissist. They have refused to acknowledge their manipulative tactics when I was being polite. I have regressed to using the silent treatment because after multiple mediation meetings they have never taken any responsibility for their actions. Now that I have identified them as a narcissist I am no longer even trying. Sometimes there is nothing you can do except protect yourself.
So nice to see this channel constantly growing 😊 🌱
So well deserved 💕
I really do enjoy seeing the evolving animation, quality and personality of these videos. Early on this channel, the animation was more simplistic with a few lines and basically no color and now there are more stylistic transitions, definitely more colorful and more detailed (but still charmingly simple).
Loved the references!!
Yeah, Fairly oddparents, Amphibia and even more!
Charm + Debasement was my mother's go-to. "You're our little angel," she'd say. Her back and knees would supposedly be hurting but then she'd bring in a couple grocery bags and over-exaggerate to make me feel bad for letting her do that. Sometimes even starting things without telling me and saying, "I didn't want to bother you." As if she was worried I'd somehow say no to helping, even though she knew I'd always say yes. On the outside to many people, the way she'd act towards me made it seem like she was lifting me up. Instead it was all pressure, all responsibility. Responsibility for taking care of and essentially parenting my parents. There were so many "thank yous" but they were all hollow. After any achievement it was quick onto, "ok but what about this." This 'nice' kind of emotional manipulation definitely made me feel crazy. It made me feel bad for even considering the abuse my parents put me through. "Oh they're not that bad" I say to myself even though I was put into foster care as a child because of their neglect. Thankfully, I'm out of that house and doing so much better now. I rarely talk to them. At one point I just had it and told them everything I was feeling and they have kept their distance since, which I'm honestly thankful for. Man I revealed too much in this comment. But I feel like that's kind of what this channel is for.
0:13 toh reference 😆
4:33
Omg a cooking companion reference :00
I love that game!
Hey, this video is amazing as usual, you have helped me so much through my depression and anxiety, my cousin got a few photos taken of her by strangers and shes now scared to even go out, if u could make a video on this, it would be really helpful. Thanks! ur vids make my day keep going 💖💖
I really appreciate this channel. I started a relationship late last year and you all kept me in check when it came to red flags…
She was gaslighting me for months because I had caught her talking to her ex-husband… She kept denying it until I eventually found it on her phone records.
The break up was still awful and painful, but if I wouldn’t have kept an eye on your relationship videos, which seemed to coincide a lot with manipulation, I would have enabled things to go much further.
It’s still fresh but I know my value. Thank you psych2go.
That´s how manipulators talk to make their victim believe and the world around it, that their view is correct, not the real story: "well I guess you realized your point and flipped it because anger is all you're presenting but that was your initial Point right? I know your anger has nothing to do with me. So yet again I'm going to follow doctor C's advice. And just let you deal with your own anger because it has absolutely nothing to do with me. And if you think I'm wrong here's dr. C to tell you that I'm not. I know you won't watch the video because you are going to refuse any logic that would contradict your own strong internal core belief."
Great work 🥳 Thaaank you 💜
Oh god, I use some of these subconsciously. Not even to manipulate, but to win debates
Okay the info is so amazing and how u present these ideas is so good but let's just talk about u're voice girl so relaxed omg how u make u're voice so soft wanna know plz🙏🥺💫
I DEFINITELY experienced the silent treatment and the one where the task is brought up again and again and again. They're two of my bio father's favorite tactics; those, and guilt trips. ALWAYS with the guilt trips and silent treatment. It was awful; I felt like I was walking on eggshells in my own home! After a few months, I couldn't take it anymore and moved out.
To anyone experiencing these or any other manipulation tactics, you can try communication, but if it doesn't work, get away from the manipulator as soon as you possibly can. Your mental health will thank you for it!
Bro my mom has used these phrases...omg im so mad rn- ik I've been mad at her lately and I assumed she used me sometimes but now ik its true 💀. That's crazy
She has used charm on me a lot even when I've said I didn't feel safe doing something, she's used reason on me, she's used regression a bit when it comes to my chores even tho she barely does any of the simple ones around the house to the point im stressed and then she's used debasement on me and acts like she's too tired at times to do stuff just for me to do it instead
Sometimes there is a reason like she wants you to learn how to do things on your own
@@baeldaikokuten_yj6792 it isn't just that at this rate to be honest
@@baeldaikokuten_yj6792 she used to just say it was just for responsibility
@@baeldaikokuten_yj6792 but now it's gotten to the point for if I even ask for a break or that I'm too tired to do it, it's either an attitude, I'm forced to do it or she uses a tactic on me
@@baeldaikokuten_yj6792 I wish I could say it was for ur reason, but it sadly isn't anymore
Spot on! These are great examples of manipulation tactics! Thank you.
As someone that has "manipulation" and "manipulator" as the worst trigger word due to past trauma, this helped a ton. Well, I was accused of being a manipulator many times, I get that I regress a lot but that has to do with childhood trauma and me sometimes just.. being in a tiny mindspace. That aside, I don't think I'm a manipulator.
These videos have helped me realize I'm in fact....not crazy :) thank you so much!
Thanks for teaching me these super cool tricks that i can use on my friends! ;)
Had a friend who would record whatever we did in games, not in a funny haha way, more of a "I will use this against you when i have the chance". Too bad im too stubborn to get manipulated...
thank you for this great tutorial. ill do my best to apply these 6 tatics to my daily life
Knowledge of the what gaslighting means changed my life and entire existence... while it altered it, I became even more lonely... yeah charm...
Love you o Amanda... your tones encourages my future..... at least the basis of its strength
Great video 👍👍
Irony is we all manipulate people everyday in some way shape or form. Often it's tiny unassuming things such as:
You made me feel... (this statement is more self victim blaming, no one controls how you feel except you period! It depends how you react to things)
You know you love me...
If you love me you'll do...
I did this so, you can help with...
I covered for your shift last time...
Many more.
Most of the time it's something we pick up from our parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, shows etc we then espouse it.
Anything can be viewed as abuse or manipulation. It's mostly about the intention behind why it's said.
I said "you made me feel..." A couple of times before. For me, it's normally how I tell someone when they hurt me, and just my way of expressing the impact whatever they did on my emotions.
They don't even ask, they just take it immediately when I'm not noticing it
Thank you making me Understand everything
Thanks for all the videos when I need help
Imagine having all these characteristics from trauma and being honest about it, then being told your a manipulator.
Stop boxing people. Think with heart and actions and move on when someone isn’t honest with you or care how you are too.
You can choose to not manipulate people. If they’re honest about it, like you said, and change their ways, that’s fantastic. But those who realise it, still do it, and blame it on their trauma, need to be called out.
My mom and older sister are both manipulative. On top of that my sister is narcissist, rude, manipulative, she lies to get what she wants, she would make up lies about me and put me down in front of my parents in order to be the "Better" kid. She makes up her grades in front of out family and acquaintances to seem more intelligent and likable and she copies me a big time. I think I'll go crazy if I associate with her anymore.
Love the references
Amphibia and Fairly oddparents as Well.
nice analysis
Thank you for teaching me how to effectively manipulate people.
At some point in my life I'm pretty sure I was a manipulative person but never did it on purpose but after realizing I fixed myself and now I'm a better person
Good advice
I'll put these tactics to good use
"You haven't taken out the trash, YET?! You've got time to sit in the chair after work, tho'."
You call it debasement, I call it socializing. Like when I ask someone something they most probably know that I could easily google, but instead of doing that, I take the opportunity to engage with someone socially to provide them with a positive experience, and can easily segue to other conversational topics after that.
Not everything is manipulation for one's own interest where you feign something. Just like it isn't a lie when you aren't spelling out that you are attracted to someone but instead beat around the bush and give hints.
Okay, that's a fine enough point to make, except what you explained has nothing to do with debasement. Asking someone to figure something out on their own is different from making someone else do something just because you don't want to do it for no good reason.
@@missspectra No, there is no difference. It's still a social interaction that gives the other person the positive experience that they are needed, that they can be relied on. If that other person experiences this as something negative, a nuisance, that's their problem.
Definition of debasement (from google): The action or process of reducing the quality or value of something.
Usually in psychology referring to self-debasement, which is making oneself look lower or less than to manipulate someone into doing something.
It is inherently talking about it in a negative sense. It is not referring to you trying to give someone a positive experience, this is about negative intentions. There is definitely a difference. Both intentions and methods matter. Lumping them all into, "well this isn't so bad because..." is ignoring the problem that is specifically labeled to pinpoint the problematic version. That's like saying, "Oh, the silent treatment isn't that bad. Sometimes I take a moment to be silent so I don't say something I'll regret." When that isn't what the silent treatment is, it's being silent in a moment related to contention, but not the silent treatment. Same with this. The video is talking about debasement. Which, if you're talking about something positive, you are not talking about debasement.
@@MadAliceInWonderland We are talking about the same thing. I don't agree that it is negative, period. Don't quote me definitions when you don't even understand what you argue against.
@@MadAliceInWonderland They're always gonna insist they're right anyhow. Think what OP is doing is manipulation in itself? Trying to gaslight you?
I'm so glad my favorite shows were referenced here :)
"Wow you guys are so smart!!"
#4 I usually reflect back on and refer to it as a narrative. When I find people cherry picking events and packaging them in a story that makes what they want "make sense"
My mom does the whining and the threats, I turn 30 next month and she still does this. With my PTSD I have a very hard time getting anything physical done other than my job, she tries to guilt me into doing things and will complain every 30 second to every 5 minutes and then deny that she has said anything for hours when in an hour she has whined almost constantly. She accuses me of gaslighting her when I react to her whining at me for hours at a time. The only time she stops is if I record her and play the video back when she is finally quiet so she hears herself whining almost constantly. Then she stops for maybe a month before she starts doing it again.
Silent treatment is just the worse, I'd rather be screamed at and I hate being shouted at
Just gotta say, I’m loving the Amphibia references in this
How did I used to say it sometimes??? Oh yeah I ain't beat no one with a chair from across the room I must be having a good day. While simultaneously being gass lit
Yooo it’s Mac and Bloo!! I was not expecting to see them in this video :D
Knowing their manipulative but not knowing when they pull their trucks till afterward then falling for it all over again.
0:54, 2:23 Featuring Enn, Soosha and Moarcy from Amphibia
3:51 My mother used to do this tactic of manipulation and so did I to her 😅 Unfortunately, I have become similar to my mother in behavior Sometimes I feel like I have a mixture of my parents' bad qualities
Most moms are like this 😂 i think its not that much of an issue in the long run. Probably in another video, youre the one thats toxic not the regressor
@@mau345 For real? Even though my mother started asking me all the time when I was 5 if I wanted to go to a children's home?Or she kept trying to kill herself? When I was a teenager she once claimed that I was her imagination and that I supposedly didn't exist. Is it any wonder I moved away from her?(sorry if my english is weird and i'm sorry if it sounds aggressive just i'm angry at my parents for various reasons which are not so easy to explain)
I feel like I may be resorting to regressive tactics unintentionally to try and encourage my partner to do things. He doesn't speak with me about the plans or expectations, so other than encouraging him to communicate, what can I do to better voice my thoughts?
When I was a child I kept being told I was manipulative. I'm not sure if I still am. I don't do all of this.
I love the references
I WILL ALWAYS remember my ex saying “my exes didn’t do that” anytime he didn’t get what he thought was correct. That phrase hurt so bad. I got PTSD from it and needed months to heal. I promised myself NEVER to allow anyone to disrespect or devalue me like that ever again.
Amphibia references:
Anne and her mom - 0:42 , 0:53 - 1:01
Anne's mom - 0:50
Sasha and Marcy - 2:22 - 2:43
The Owl House reference: Belos and Hunter - 0:14
I know some people who are going through this. I shared it on my Facebook page. Thank you
Nice iam gonna try em all!
I have my mother doing the regression part, everything I do, is less important than what she asked me to do.
even if i say to her my plan she doesn't hear me... :" but i think that is another part of toxicity that I don't already know.