HOLY HELL! I just realized something! Those of us in the Autism/Asperger's/ADHD crowd, mainly people who exhibit the body doubling habit; try putting these videos on and cleaning. With the video showing AND talking about cleaning, at least for me, it feels close enough to having someone here cleaning with me that I just did it for 45 minutes without even paying attention to the time passing
I helped clean a house like this once and the saddest thing to me was the layers. I could see that for this period of time he was trying to eat healthier, for this period he was drinking more after his daughter died, here he was eating ramen and tinned meat because money was tight, this later he was actually putting the trash in bags that never made it outside, etc. The layers of trying to do better at some things and the layers of hard times, all interspersed with bottles of medication that got lost before he could take all the pills. My heart breaks for everyone who struggles to this degree.
I also helped to declutter a hoarder's house once, and I can relate. It was such an emotionally overwhelming experience, and it really makes you think to know that you saw the remains of just one of countless similar human tragedies.
New subscriber here. I have ADHD and have been in a massive pit of depression for almost a year. Yesterday I went through 10+ years of paperwork and deep cleaned our entire bathroom…all while listening to these videos. THANK YOU for your incredible voice overs and massive amount of effort. I have the rest of the house to clean still with a lot of “doom piles” and some dirtiness, but for the first time ever I don’t feel completely overwhelmed. Your recommendation for cleaning one area of a room at a time is a game changer! Wishing you and your family the best.
Hey man, saw a ton of comments saying they came from here! Thank you SO SO much for the incredibly kind words! What you do is amazing, this level of kindness and empathy is an absolute joy to watch
I firmly believe that the content creators are exponentially more important that the actual content. We may come to a channel for something in particular but we stay because the creator has a passion for what they do and is able to convey that passion to we the viewers. Mack is able to do this to perfection. The Toe Bro is another, as well as Flawless Cleaning in the UK.
I want to say a big thank you to you. Why? In a previous video you talked about fighting depression and making yourself get up and do something to fight it instead of just doing nothing. I am over 70 and for fifteen years I have held a couch down but after what you said I got up and moved! I am now cleaning long overdue tasks, and a big...THANK YOU!!!
I like how you explain these types of illnesses so others can understand them. This is far from being lazy. Thank you for standing up for those who have mental illness.
My place became a mess too. I was already ill with two chronic illnesses and a multitude of other health disorders and found life increasingly difficult. I have adhd and Asperger’s too. People treated me like I was a lazy slob and I started to believe it myself. Now I have late stage Parkinson’s disease - only recently diagnosed so it explains these past years of struggling…. Mind you I still care for my adult son and nobody ever bothers to help out. I don’t ‘look’ sick enough apparently
If your son is disabled, please check with your local government as many places have help available for your son which helps you, and also will help transition his care after you no longer can provide it. You have my best wishes!
I want to thank you for removing and blocking negative comments and people. It makes your channel a completely positive experience for me. I so appreciate that since I not only watch the vid, but read up to the first 70-100 comments under the vid.
I appreciate that so much. I like reading comments, but some channels let their comment section turn into a cesspool of trolls and it's depressing. I just watched this horrible news video about an elderly woman getting knocked down and 90% of the comments were trolls. Better to close the comment section than allow that.
I love your approach to shame and embarrassment. Not, "you should be embarrassed because you deserve to feel bad about yourself," but "you should be embarrassed because that's a healthy and normal reaction and its presence means progress can be made." This is really going to change my approach to this emotion in the future. Thank you for redefining it and giving it meaning.
First off…..thank you. My daughter died in 2016. My brain absolutely ceased to function in any sort of normalcy after that. I got lost going to the grocery store numerous times. My house got so cluttered for several months after that. My spouse proceeded to call me lazy and exasperated the situation by not helping and contributing to the mess. I was able to sort it out, with help. He proceeded to spiral out of control and ended up in prison. I have since divorced him and am learning how to live with this “new brain set” I now find myself in. Your channel helps me by showing a different perspective on how to approach some different situations. So thank you. Not only are you helping the people in your area but you are helping a grief stricken Momma whose PTSD brain malfunctions regularly. Thank you.
God bless you. We never "get over" grief. We just learn to live with it. I hope you have many happy and fulfilling moments, and lots of comfort and love!
First, the into with the Humpty dance is perfection. Second, hugs for your burnout. Third, I am a recovering hoarder. I had a house where I worked and basically was only there during my work stretch to sleep. My father got sick and passed so I wasn’t “living” in my house for 7 years. Last year my sister and mother and cousin came to help me conquer it. I spent 10 days alone just bagging garbage. Then, they came to help with clothes and books and DVDs. I wouldn’t have made it without their help. Watching your channel has helped me push through and now I’m getting ready to sell that house. Thank you 🎉
I am just overwhelmed with throwing stuff away even though I am not a hoarder. Just stuff I don't need. If you can get rid of things, I have no excuse. Bless you.
@@nikluv21Don’t beat yourself up. Set tiny goals like “today, I’m going to throw out one bag of trash, and take one bag of stuff to Goodwill.” If you can do one but not the other, you still moved forward.
I need your videos. At 69, I've lost my mom, dad and both siblings. My nieces and nephews forget I'm still here. Loneliness and depression has really bogged me down. I have about 130 boxes of my deceased families stuff in my apt that I have to go thru and do something with. I'll start on a box and it brings back memories. Some good, some bad. Then I have to stop after a few minutes. It's depressing and it keeps me depressed all day. Nothing is getting done. Your videos are kind of a pep talk to me. I can do this!
One small box, at a time. Or half a box. Have a box of tissues, close by, along with your favorite drink. Put on your favorite music. Then, when it’s overwhelming, stop. Then you can be proud and relieved you accomplished this task. It’s not easy, with all those memories. I still have my mothers purse in a drawer, still intact. She has been gone 24 years. It’s been a long,slow process to sorting her things. God bless you
I'm 69, too, and it seems like my own kids forget about me. My parents are gone, I have siblings but they live a thousand miles away and when I stopped making the effort to stay in touch, they never bothered. It's a real issue with us older people. Almost everyone I ever knew either moved away or died. As for boxes of your relatives' belongings, I agree with the comment that you aren't obligated whatsoever to go through them. Life is too short, especially when you're 69. If it were me, I might peek inside, but unless there was an obvious chest of gold or something inside, I would just throw the boxes out one or two at a time and get rid of them.When my mom died, I got one set of old children's records because my brother said he wanted them. He didn't. I finally decluttered them. When my mother-in-law died, my husband took one pewter tray that he liked and nothing else. I told my son that when I die, he can just have all of my stuff hauled away. I don't want him to be burdened by my stuff. I told him not to go through it, just get rid of it. It took him 3 years to go all through his dad's parents' stuff and I don't want him to do that when I go.
Very interesting to hear someone who’s actually autistic explain a bit about how autistic people see and process their environment. You have a gift for explaining things that are hard for others to comprehend or even imagine.
My daughter has severe ADHD and if I didn’t intervene weekly her apartment would look like this. But I have set up a half hour body doubling cleaning session and she has learned to do a lot and appreciate the cleaner house. I don’t clean to my level but do it to her ability. But she could never clean on her own. I’m so glad I can support her this way so she can live her best life
There's a whole body double cleaning discussion above, but I would also recommend Clutterbug's videos and podcasts. She has great topics, ways of approaching stuff, great voice and personality - and also has ADHD. I wonder if her content could help too
The fact that too many people believe autistic people lack empathy really annoys me. Nearly every autistic person I've met is very empathetic. Just because we might show it differently doesn't mean we lack it. I outwardly show empathy for animals all the time. How I show empathy for people is indirect which is why I'm a data analyst for homelessness prevention. I'm a background person, but my job helps the people on the front line.
isn't it because in people-to-people interactions, sometimes they don't anticipate the behavior or words or phrasing/delivery of the autistic person? so they make a bushel of assumptions? at least i've read stuff like that. and maybe someone just has social anxiety or is playing through multiple responses in their head and so the response is slow to happen. idk, i think there's a bunch of personality types along with autism and sometimes also disorders/anxiety/etc etc. my brother was diagnosed with aspergers a while back. so i guess now they did away with that and it's just high functioning autism. anyways, he's never been accused of the empathy thing, though he's got struggles in the communication department. it's not always his fault, though. i think the other people get used to 'scripts' and so they anticipate what they think should be said and go 404 error when they get something different. to me, it's crazy to not be adaptable. like... come on, that is a little nuts. the script thing. he's very empathetic, though sometimes can fall into some black and white thinking surrounding charged topics and it can appear that empathy isn't there. but i'd call that more a special case. it's like it shuts off because of intense anger about an issue (just pop a political issue of some kind in here.) and i get how he feels, but i remind him that you can't assume everyone in a group is the same and also not worthy of breathing. again, it's the anger. but when he's tired sometimes people think he's abrupt or mad. and he told me recently it's because he realizes that even if people make a joke, he can't really muster up reactions. just too damn tired. so idk, some of it might be valid perceptions, and things that can be worked on. and some is just because people are script-mongers and on automatic pilot. idk that i'm on the spectrum. i think my people issues/troubles were mostly being raised in a household with my mom who i think is on the spectrum herself. so if your parent "doesn't get people", you aren't learning the stuff at home and have to get it in your relations and interactions OUT of the house. which... ugh. but doable. but ugh. it can be awkward and feeling constantly behind. i can adapt to the new info, which is why i don't think i'm on the spectrum. versus how my brother or even my mom react to new info. it's just... different. like, it isn't something they can know and just apply? if that makes sense. not with everything, just some things. and then for me i think i got hit with the ADHD stick. and one of the reasons i watch THIS channel is because i have a "stuff" problem. yeah, ADHD and depression/mood disorder. and people low-key call me a hoarder. from the stuff mack says, it really just seems like an offshoot of the other things and not actually hoarding disorder at all. anyway i'm sorry you encounter that - people believing autism affects empathy. it's dumb, i mean... well, most people don't have a psych background so they have no IDEA what they're talking about. for disorders that affect empathy it's more in the range of narcissism, sociopathy, psychopathy. broken, diminished, or absent. not once have i ever encountered a tie between empathy issues and autism. but then ask anyone what bipolar is and they will nod knowledgable and totally describe borderline personality disorder. sigh. they feel very certain over their gaping chasm of knowledge. best you can do, for them, you, and everyone, is just to educate. just to say autism and lack of empathy isn't a thing. you just sometimes express yourself differently. also, a lot of people don't actually know what the definition of empathy IS. commonly also confused with sympathy.
I have been a professional cleaner of hoarded homes as well as well maintained homes. I have kept my home immaculate. Post trauma, I am stumped and unable to do what I once did. I have become what I feared. I LOVE what you do and how you explain everything. I would love to get back to my former glory.
Mack has told us "just pick one thing to accomplish for the day, focus on that one thing". I personally have done this and surprised myself for getting more done than the one thing. Just put one foot in front of the other as the saying goes!!!! even when it's hard.
I was where you are once. I learned about hoarding from the show. The lucky part for me was I realized sooner rather than later. Start wherever you start and go at your own speed. Ask for help from people who will support you. Those who don't give you support don't have them around. Positive supportive people.
Mack, you're not a content creator. You're a life preserver on a sinking ship; a ray of sunshine on a stormy sea. Thank you for all that you do to help those who need it the most. What you do is a blessing to so many.
Yes, well said and true! I watch not because I'm in the same mess, but I know I am high risk for something like this to happen. Very arthritic senior, I also watch to get motivated beyond the pain and discomfort. Harder to hit a moving target! HAHAHA
My mom and my stepdad (at different times of my life) once said that this is what my house would look like and that I "would need a map to make it from the front door to my living room." I'm happy to say I have not let my home get this bad and make it a point to clean little by little. However, as someone who has had mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse in the past, I will never make fun or be okay with being disgusted of someone else's trauma or anxiety. I live with this everyday. I am glad she asked for help. She has a beautiful house and I wish her the best at her progression. Thank you, Mack and Jason. Hope you feel better soon.
My grandparents' health has really gotten bad recently and they struggle to keep their home clean. Every time I visit, I clean a part of their home. They're usually embarrassed, but I tell them not to worry. In the end, they're always so happy with the cleaning I've done. I just want them to live safely and healthy. And if I can help them with that, then I am happy.
Would it help to explain that by accepting this help that you are doing out of love & respect will allow them to remain independent and lot longer? Unless someone has severe dementia it’s the things like keeping the house clean and in working order that eventually causes older people to leave their homes.
I lost the love of my life last summer in a motorcycle accident on his way to work on a random Monday morning. I haven’t been the same since. Seeing your videos has helped me accept that I need to address my loss and how it’s affecting my home. I am fortunate My oldest friend is forcing me to move in with her and renting out my house. Cleaning/clearing out the house room by room is exactly what I needed. Watching you is so helpful. I’m not even close to the condition of the homes you clean but seeing where I could easily get to is all I need.
Sending a big hug- I experienced and have heard it can take at least a year to start to recalibrate. I hope you and your friend can make some progress and also be kind to yourself that it will take some time! 🩷
12:17 "Asking for help is not a weakness... [it's] your weapon, and just like with any weapon, it takes strength to wield it responsibly." What a beautiful message. It is challenging sometimes to find the balance between asking for help versus outsourcing your problem/issue/task to someone else for your own convenience. You stated it perfectly though 💛 There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help when you NEED it, and only you will be able to tell the difference between needing help versus wanting convenience; that's what I feel is meant by "wield it responsibly"
I’m amazed that the floors are okay! And thank you for your kindness. After years of domestic abuse my house got pretty gross. I hid in my room to avoid the abuser. Six months in and probably another year to go to get it all tidy. Yes I am damned embarrassed, but it’s getting done.
ah you're always so right about item blindness for adhd. i usually set items out to remind myself to complete a task with them (paperwork i need to fill out a form, cleaning supplies, etc) but then when i put off the task, the stuff just sits around forever
i had filing my friend helped me sort through and just that LAST STEP kept not happening. ffs it was just to put it in there, and take out old stuff IF it didn't fit. i've now had to put the piles into piles for the 3rd time because of walking around it on the floor and cats running OVER it. (arghhhh) and it kept sweeping the piles together. each one had a massive post it note for the name of the pile, to get around my later looking and doing a brain fog blank faced huhhhh? and just not be able to pick back up. really helps to have a REASON you need to do the thing. for me, finally, it's putting in a large fishtank on the other side of the room and i need the floor clear. that's finally getting it done.... (sad, i know. but, well, you do what you can right?)
This video reminded me of a comic I saw on Tumblr a while back. It reads: “Animals learn their most vital skill first. An hours-old foal can run; a newly hatched snake can bite. What do babies do? Babies cry. Your most important skill is asking for help.”
I love how you said "asking for help is your weapon", for so much of my life I pretended so hard that I had it going on. When I finally admitted I definitely did not, and at that point no one could have honestly, that was the first time in my life things actually started getting ok. We all need help, I think it's part of being human.
Your explanation of fixing your kids' car and fixing it again until they learn how to do it themselves was a fantastic analogy. You are a good teacher. Thank you for sharing your work. Great job on this house.
Wow. I’m not autistic but the “cleaning is a punishment” thing happened when I was growing up. I didn’t establish daily tidying and cleaning habits. Now, having just turned 70, I am still struggling keeping house. It’s torturous. I literally beg god to “make me clean tomorrow”. That doesn’t help very often. What does help is I ask myself what needs would be met if I cleaned my house. Usually it’s a need for: order, calmness, beauty, safety, cleanliness of course, security, and pride. The good kind of pride.
Idk if this might help. It's a life saver for me to have an organized, clean, relaxing space. I use colored 3x5 cards in a 3x5 card holder box with dividers. You make a card for each thing you want to do every day, a different card color for the things you want to do once a week, a different color for the things you want to do once a month, then once a year. Then give yourself a lot of grace and decide a lot of the chores can be done every other week, or every other year etc. Then, divide them up in the filing box. - which is a pain. If you're interested, comment on this and I'll look for the book I learned it from 30+ years ago. 😅 I wish I could say I've used the cards straight through. But when I get super overwhelmed I restart the cards and feel a lot of releif.
My heart goes out to you. One thing that helps me just starting with dishes. Making sure the dishes get done each day, and that’s all. The next step is setting a 15 minute timer (daily) and only cleaning for that amount of time. You’d be surprised at how much it adds up. Those two things really make a massive difference.
I've been a housekeeper my entire life and about 3yrs I stopped as I didn't get satisfaction the way I use to my customers treated me as I was a lesser ATP many were very wealthy and snubbed their noses at me because I was just a house keeper, but after watching you and some organizers the last year...... this fall I'm going back to work because I loved so much what I did and how it helped people who actually needed help and a lot of people do need help. I will brush off the feeling those other humans gave me and return to what I love. Thank you for doing what you do. we will never know someone's struggle unless we experience empathy for them.
I love these videos brought you back to doing something you loved. I also loved keeping my place immaculate until I couldn’t. I had a shut down episode or a freezing episode. I did recently also find out I have a condition where my vertebrae pops out of my spine in my lower back and they have to be pushed back into place by a chiropractor. My movement is now very limited and the risk involved with surgery are out of the question. I recently got approved for a full time home health aide and she said she has adhd/ocd and I got my place back. Looks better than ever. Young woman, God bless her! She loves what she does. Even though I’ve told her many many times, she will never know how truly grateful I am.
@@marlenelindsey7638 I have ADD and CPTSD as well as health issues so I feel your pain. I think apart of the reason I stopped was the C-PTSD. I was very unaware of how childhood traumas could effect your life later on as well as young. I'm glad to hear you have an aid that does things to help you. I binge watch him sometimes and put it on double speed even when hes already at double triple speed..... as he would say cause that's how I roll son.... lol.
The analogy of helping your kids fix their cars regardless of whether they will break again just perfectly explains the empathy that folks like these need and deserve. These kinds of messes come from trauma and/or mental health struggles and lack of support and resources to address it compounds it even more! Being tough and judgmental will only deepen their trauma, make them isolate and feel even less supported or like they can reach out for help. Also huge kudos to you for recognizing you weren't very empathetic and worked on changing that. So many people are unable or refuse to do that kind of introspective work on themselves; I admire you sir! 👏👏👏
In return for the channel rec's I will make one of my own Flawless Cleaning Services on youtube. UK based him and his dad started out doing water pressure cleans of patios and driveways for free. It's now grown to the point where he's helping elderly and sick people get their neglected houses water tight with roof repairs etc, and then reclaiming their overgrown gardens. It's so satisfying watching these gardens slowly re-emerge from all the brambles and weeds. Often while he's doing these projects neighbors will start to get involved both in feeding them lunches etc and helping out - or asking for help themselves.
omg i could totally do the gardening part. it's immensely satisfying, but also an act of creation. in addition, i set things up to be more self sufficient and need less care. i did that at my current property though no video footage. like, the side yard between my neighbor and i was knee high weeds and poison ivy. thought to myself, "if i rip this all out, and put edging and an actual garden with mulch..... no more weedwacker every 2 weeks. and if it's landscaped with drought tolerant stuff for the most part, i could get away with not watering after stuff is established. then on the back corner of the house was another weed infested spot, and sunken pavers, and it was just always bad and needed mowed or weedwhacker. so i did a project to lay down pavers and did polymeric sand between them. now it's a nice area that only needs a few weeds pulled on the edges. the fish pond had stupid landscaping. it was like med and large riverstone and CONSTANT weeds. i dug it all out, weed cloth, SMALL stones a few inches thick, with larger ones in clusters (which looks cool but initially was to make sure weed cloth edges didn't pop up into view) and mulch on the back side right up against the house with a few creeping plants. that was a nightmare of weeds TOO. and some stepping stones on that side. so, it's all tidy, can easily be maintained, and looks so fekking good and zen and peaceful and stuff. *i wouldn't mind helping people do this... though i have no idea HOW. like how do you connect to the people that need it?* i did it for a friend of mine who was swimming in depression and in a fairly new house. and also fast-tracked putting out her garden lights. and it was like HUGE for her. i could even SEE the weight lift. and knowing that a space is designed and built to be LESS work... i think that's also key. a big deal. lightening the chore load really helps mentally. it's easier to just do, also, if you only need 10m instead of 40. or have some things on automatic.
Ugh! Sorry to say my mother in law passed away in April. The woman threw absolutely nothing away. We got a full dumpster from just the Master bedroom and a couple of closets plus the attic and garage. So now I'm trying to clean out her house and maintain my own while fighting the ADHD and I also have PTSD. You always help me so much and give me encouragement. We can do this!!
We just finished doing that for my mother in law, who suddenly had to leave her apartment and move to 24-hour care. Going through her one-bedroom apartment took a total of two weeks. We hauled so much trash out, then donated many things and finally had someone come get the furniture that none of her kids wanted/needed. It was so much work but I'm happy she didn't have to try to get it done for herself. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.
Me too same issues n goin thru house for first 7 years down to every piece of paper. Plus her mom’s stuff. Early 1900 stuff. Omg we donated lots of to 💜 Purple Heart she even hung on to clothing from the fifties n sixties like overwhelming to say the least. Now gpa passed 15 months ago so now we dealing with his wood shop business n products . Thanks for the woodworkers association of America. Building n shed n backyard. Needless to say my hubby just had heart attack in feb n got stint goin thru cardio rehab n ready to return to work July 15. He was in the dentist chair when it happened. Thank God cuz at home he could have passed. Smh no pain just wheezing n low oxygen n blood pressure went sky high. Sorry for rambling. I just really related to this one. 💯🥰👍 P.S. lol what the hell we do with a metal melting pot from way back when. Very heavy. 😂🤦♀️🤷🏼♀️ I also have anxiety depression ptsd epilepsy (controlled) introvert. Don’t do stores or crowds. Crazy huh yes totally inspiring n motivates me .
My great aunt started hoarding after her husband died in the 80s. She had no kids of her own but my grandma had 5 and all her kids had at least 3 so she was very welcome in our big family. She took care of 4 ladies from her church that she kept all their stuff. She was very wealthy and had a 3 story house filled with stuff. I think another issue for her was environmental issues where she didn’t want stuff to end up in a landfill.
My son is autistic with very severe OCD. My rule with his room is, twice a day take the dishes out and leave them on a tray outside his room if he doesn’t feel up to going downstairs. And clothes in the laundry basket at the end of the day. Once a week, either he cleans & changes his sheets, or I will. He likes the structure. And my help if he is in burnout.
So, I've never been diagnosed, but my best friend whose brother has ADHD and Autism, has lightly mentioned to me that she suspects that I'm the same (though a more mild case). I'd noticed a few quirks of both in my daily life, but your explanation on how ADHD contributes to something like this and can make depression worse (which I've been diagnosed with officially), really struck home. I had an issue with leaving clothes on the floor when I was younger, but luckily, I think living with people other than my parents helped fix that problem (yay for shame lol). If anyone finds themselves struggling with that, I recommend having 2 or 3 hampers as that helped me a lot. I've unfortunately never grown out of my desk clutter. Even as I type this I can count 10 fast food drink cups and 3 glasses on my desk even though there is a trash can 3 steps away and the computer room is very close to the kitchen. The only fortunate things are that I tend to finally clear it once I've run out of space to put another cup down, and the trash clutter never really extends beyond the desk. When you talked about putting things on the ground and telling yourself you'll get to it later, I immediately thought about the package I tossed on the ground earlier today while leaving for lunch, and have yet to go open and put away despite it being 10pm now and having been home all day. Or the backpack I used on a 5 day visit to my dad's place back in April still sitting on the couch where I placed it after getting home, now 3 months later. When you talked about forgetting about things once they got put away, I immediately thought about all the times my boyfriend and I bought snacks that I never touched because I kept forgetting about them once they were in the cabinet or fridge (especially the nectarines I let go bad even though I'd gone through the effort of convincing my bf we should get them). When you talked about the motivational issues that come with not having an immediate reward in doing a long term task, I think about how I was able to enter college as a sophomore due to all the credits I had from AP classes, only to get kicked out for academic delinquency in my third year (after flirting with academic probation on and off) because I had worked so hard to get into college that all of my motivation left me when I got there. The depression and self loathing that comes with that kind of loss of purpose is something I wouldn't wish on anyone. It's almost freaky how much I identified with that, and just knowing that if things were just a bit different, I could've been in the same situation as the people who left this house behind is honestly kind of crazy. Thank you for all the work you put in to help these people clean up their past shame (quite literally).
Still can't get my head around how quickly Jason is filling up that trash can and yet, there's barely a difference to the pile on the floor. Huge respect to you both for keeping the motivation when dealing with hoards like that.
You’re so kind patient and educational. You don’t come on here with emotional and baity reactions and call out posts but instead educate your audience and empathize and I can’t tell you how much it calms me to hear it.
You're such a hope giver. Cleaning service is one thing I wish Medicaid and other in home healthcare plans would offer and pay for. Cleaning never gets mentioned in the assistance list. The volunteer choir services are extremely limited, they can't do the type of heavy cleaning and organizing that's often needed etc.... it's frustrating. And when you physically can't clean, it can make you feel anxious and hopeless. Professional organizers and cleaners specializing in adhd and disability, charge $300 a session, that might as well be a million to someone living on social security or disability benefits. I wish people would consider all that, that there isn't much help to be had in many cases, people have tried to seek help before and been denied so they stop asking.
That's unfortunate! A little help can go a long h way to help a person get back on an even keel again. People don't feel good about themselves living like this, but sometimes they need help to get out of the ""funk".
This channel helps me make sure I don't do this to my children. I try to bulldoze my house and closets yearly or every couple of years. Due to my age, health, both mental and physical, it was fewer and farther between. I've watch probably 100 hoarder episodes to force me into action. I'm a saver, prepper, reuser and stacker for a rainy day. I live in the country so bugs and mice can always take over If I don't have access to corners. It takes watching these episodes for ideas and also imagining what my children would have to do in order to force me into action and better habits. And yes, most of the problem is from a trauma based life that had poverty, sadness and fear that led to brain fog. At 55, I'm trying to let go...
The fact you go through it at all is a credit to you. I’m trying to do a room and had a friend over for an hour this week to help me and that’s what I’m going to do each week because I don’t want to spend days at it and never want to do it again so for me whatever leaves the room is a bonus no matter how slow or long it takes. You can do it too. Best of luck. Mary, Joes wife 👍💪👏
Years ago I helped a person clean up his place while he was in the hospital recovering from an operation. His wife had died and he was suffering from diabetes and not taking very good care of himself. He was very depressed and his house looked pretty bad. It didn't get so bad that I had to shovel it out, but He was having a nurse coming in twice a week to change a dressing so he really had to clean up for that to happen. I really think i helped him alot. Just helping him helped him be less depressed. He did get aome help and he does take an anti-depressant now.
That house is in amazingly good shape considering the level of hoarding and length of neglect. The owner got very lucky. Your clean up looks great. You and Jason are good people- so generous with time, money and especially effort. Take care of that back
I swear, at this point I watch your videos half for the cleaning, and half to hear _SO_ much more useful information about autism/ADHD than I have in decades of therapy. I'm learning how to treat myself and my sibling's issues with respect and care. Thank you, Mack, from the bottom of my heart.
As someone with AuDHD, this made me tear up. I agree, these videos are SO helpful and lovely to watch-they remind me that there are good people in the world doing good for others. My special interest is abnormal psychology (apparently that’s a common Autistic special interest! I didn’t know until recently haha) so I learn about different people’s brains all the time and empathize with people whose experiences look WAY different from my own (such as DID systems), but it still blows me away (in a good way) when people like you say this about those with ADHD and/or Autism. People are realizing how common they are since learning more about them, and they’ve overhauled a lot of stereotypes that aren’t indicative of everyone’s experiences, so more and more I’m taught to listen to everyone’s experiences with a grain of salt, witness lived experiences (like the conditions of these videos/ these people’s lives), and I’m always learning something new that resonates. Thank you 🙏💗 It means a lot, and we’re in this together! ☺️
as someone with undiagnosed (but planning on getting diagnosed) adhd and autism.. the accuracy in the explanation of how everything gets worse with time.. was scarily accurate. I subscribed maybe a month ago, stumbling across the channel. I grew up in constant "hoarder" house conditions due to a parent/family with mental disorders, so I never learned to clean, on top of having adhd. When I started watching your videos, it finally dawned on me that if I don't teach myself to clean, although it's tough right now.. it'll be much worse, and I'll be in a worse state of mind. your videos made me see the satisfying side of cleaning, as opposed to associating it with past traumas of living in a "hoarder" home.. and honestly, I kinda really see why you enjoy doing it. due to the undiagnosed autism I can't handle dishes or too much grime yet, but in the meantime, it's so much nicer feeling the confidence to clean FINALLY. your video explaining how to clean for someone with adhd also helped understand my kinda mess in particular and how to optimize it for me. Sorry that this is getting long (I accidentally ramble and can't find a stopping point). but my room used to have towels, clothes, bags, and random stuff everywhere, mostly on the floor and tables. and now, finally, I have a completely clear floor and tables organized byt still optimized for my brain. I also used to clean with a paper towel and water and wonder why it never got better, and now 70% alcohol is my best friend, it's so satisfying to use. I know I just graduated high school, so I'm not a major success story as a hoarder... but this channel DID prevent that from happening in the future. and, if I ever fall into a depressive state and it gets worse, at least I have the skills on-hand, and I know I'm not lazy. I knew I had (undiagnosed) adhd, but I never realized THAT'S why my brain's weird about cleaning and organizing. Tl;dr: Thank you. as a recent graduate with adhd.. your videos made cleaning ACTUALLY click in my mind for once, and I'm grateful for that. it's actually kinda fun! maybe one day I'll even become that one friend that insists on cleaning for my friends in the future. love those kinds of friends. but, NO DISHES.. the texture gives me the heeby jeebies.
That was such an interesting post, not rambling at all, just very well described. It's great to hear how this channel has helped you (and others post that too). Here's to your nice clean room, and keep going and be proud of yourself. To have achieved all that at your age is admirable xxx
great job friend!!! am just a few years older than you and i'm also teaching myself housekeeping skills / satisfaction especially with mack, i have wicked adhd and my bedroom was at its worst when i was also struggling with depression/anxiety from the stress of having no support in high school. i have the same problem with dishes and dishwater! i can grit my teeth through a quick wet food handle to clear the sink draincatch or something, but properly doing a bunch of dishes- shudder!! oily water is horrendous. i have a deal with my dad where he loads, i empty, which works pretty well, but i'm trying to expand my skills, so i've tried rubber dishgloves (the ones i have are lined with fabric too) and i like those a lot for preventing Wet Mushy touching. if you don't like water running down your arms i've also seen recommendations to 1. roll the end of the dishgloves into a cuff to catch drippage, and/or 2. put a cloth scrunchie (or a headband, wristband, sock with the toes cut off, etc) on each of your forearms to soak up stray drips. i liked the rolling trick when i tried it! best of luck to you!! ❤
@nasperadelane yess ugh, everything typically really sucks for so many reasons.. but life definitely doesn't get better til u find workarounds and expand skillsets. starting to realize that now. ive tried rubber gloves and wet rubber still feels horrendous to me, but I'll figure something out! Just gotta keep looking for solutions. mainly just wish i could just get rid of my sensory issues entirely, but not rlly anything a product is gonna do.
I HAVE TO THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. Your talking about the various types of the disabilities is completely eye opening and the how of these manefesting in the person or persons suroundings. This is the first time I have recognized ME. Knowing I'm broken and sort of knowing the clinical depression is at fault but now I'm really wondering about the ADHD and autism and how they manifest with the trash build up placement of piles and buying habits. I am 72 I live with my daughter now. The journey has heartbreaking about my stuff. But You are showing me just how to stop thnking like always and opening my self to letting go and looking to finding a self-help group and or therapy. God Bless you and what you do.❤
I am on also the spectrum. I also have OCD. I have always been extremely organized, but every nook and cranny of my house was covered with cabinets, closets, and bookshelves full of collectibles and hoard. I had panic attacks just looking at all of it, but not being able to do anything about it. One day I decided I've had enough. It took me almost ten years of kicking and screaming and going into full blown panic attacks, but I was able to get rid of 95% of my belongings. I sold the old house, moved to a tiny (675 square feet) house, and never looked back. My security blanket was my dog; I owe my life to him! In my new home there is no hoard, no collectibles, no sentimental objects, no TV, no books, no records/CD's, no decorations, no nicknacks, and no clutter. I can fill everything I own into my car. Minimalism brought back sanity into my life.
"My Belongings". Exactly how I felt. Did the same thing but more trauma followed. So I do know how to declutter. I have done that. I have always been a "clean freak" but it is still "all my belongings". Remembering what I did and how I did it to change the way my house looked will always be painful to me.
Your description of how people with depression will start cleaning and not make a dent and just feel oveewhelmed is spot on. I feel that way sometimes from cleaning.
man, i feel that with cleaning, sorting, and also construction projects. he's totally right about the dopamine hit, too. i NEED that, so that i can feel i got somewhere, and to keep moving fw. otherwise it drains the battery till i go from in the red to total dead.
Your example is true human compassion. I don't know how to tell you how valuable you are to our culture. I am a recovering hoarder and it gives me confidence and courage to join with you and learn.
So glad you gave a shout out to Remi Clog and Coline Cleans! Both brilliant channels and I just love Remi’s honesty about how she’s struggling or what a successful week / day she’s had. I’ve been watching her channel for ages now. She truly inspires you to deal with messes in your house that you don’t really want to face and put off and takes you on the journey with her. Well worth a watch! And Coline is just brilliant, another lady with a heart of gold just wanting to help others for free. I can highly recommend them both! Oh and I’ll probably pass the quiz with flying colours! 😜🤣👍🇬🇧
I want to salute you both for the work on this house. But I also want to salute you (for lack of a better way to say it) for all the videos you put out about your house and where you were because you were going through it and you showed up anyway the way you could and Jason....you are a great son and you have a great dad. You guys are the real stuff. This is amazing. I just want to acknowledge that. I wish I had better words but I didn't want to miss trying to express this just because I didn't have those words.
Be careful. I had a small blister on a thumb from mowing and cleaned up a moldy area without gloves. I got cellulitis and had to be hospitalized. It left my left hand disabled, and it was the most intense, worst pain I've ever felt in my life.
omg, I've never heard of this before. Thanks for the warning. I can't remember ever cleaning a moldy area, other than a sometimes pushed back piece of food in the fridge. I will remember this for future!
I'm all empathy & compassion for others. What I need is to learn the skill you have in spades as a special interest & super power! 🥰 I tried learning from other people but it never totally worked out. Maybe it's because I'm also autistic that your explanations make so much logical sense to me or your method resonates. I need organization & cleanliness but was not taught 😕 & struggled to learn until I found your channel. I am tackling the clutter & areas I have cleaned are staying clean. Even after I achieve my goals I'll continue to watch your videos because it's enjoyable & inspiring to see what you can accomplish while helping other people to get their lives back & help them feel better. ❤ Thank you so much for doing what you do & sharing the videos along with your thoughts with all of us! ❤
I truly don't think most people understand how much of an impact ADHD can have on someone's life, so many just look at it as being a little hyper or not being able to focus when in reality it can and does f up so many of our lives, like it has done to mine.
I am so happy that you are trying to teach people empathy. It is so lacking in this world. This house looks great. It is actually a really nice house, and I hope they can enjoy it now!
Again, thank you for being forthright about adhd and hoarding being mental illness and being respectful of people who live with it daily. I grew up in a hoarder house. Depression and anxiety went hand in hand. Trying to pull out all the compressed storage was very taxing. Trying to go through so much stuff was overwhelming, and I'd shut down. We did throw out trash. It had got to a point, though, where piles were just not seen anymore. I was embarrassed to have to sell my house in as-is condition after I got sick and could not return to it. I now live in an apartment. I am a recovering hoarder, and I fight the instinct to pack all open space with things daily. It's like you feel volunerable in open areas. I'm determined not to use my closets as idk-what-to-do-with-it stuff it in areas. Its taken several years, but I have a table without boxes and bags under it, and chairs without boxes full of stuff tucked under them. My entry hall is bare, open floor. I can use my wheelchair or walker when I need to and not worry about how to get through. Sure, there are ppl who do far better at keeping things, but comparing me to myself as I was, I thank God it's way better. I can relate to cleaning as a punishment! Mom used to do that. Dishes were one sticky point. So I tell myself that it's not punishment, but rather that I am making it better for me and that I do deserve it to look nice and have a sense of satisfaction about it all. Mad respect to you. My apologies for rambling. May God bless you with a good recovery from burnout!
ROFL - the teeny little song snippet. I've got a cassette tape with that on it, it is SO incredibly goofy. Also, re ADHD and similar executive dysfunction - my now-ex and I got into that awful spiral of putting stuff ... ummmm, *places* ... and then eventually becoming overwhelmed. Now we're separated, mainly due to this issue (best buds for life, thank HEAVENS), and I've gotten treatment for the ADHD, I can more or less deal with my own stuff. Most of the time. THANK you once more, from the bottom of my heart for both bringing attention to these issues and for helping people in these situations, without judgment. You've got my subscription, I hope it's able to help you out a little. All the best from the middle of Canada!
I have the, “I will get to it later” syndrome. My husband isn’t any better. But we are both a touch ADHD. We try to stay on each other and support each other. One isn’t down to do the laundry the other picks up the slack. So we live in a cluttered but organized environment. I so feel for those who have severe mental issues. Thank you so much to helping them. Watching your videos motivates me. 🙏🏽 😊❤
That's why it really helps to be two. I'm alone so no one to pick up my slack. The way I manage, usually, is to break everything into small chunks, otherwise I just can't
I have reoccurring major depression, severe anxiety, bipolar and OCD, so I can understand how that home got like that! I am so glad they asked for help!
Yours is the only cleaning channel that I watch. I would like to say thank you for two things… first over time I realised I suffered from adhd and secondly you taught me on one of your videos how to work with this problem and it helped me enormously when I recently moved to be able to manage doing it on my own… now I just have untidy clothes cupboards but this will be my next project… so thank you
I can't believe no pests! Looking forward to the next parts. TYSM for helping these people! I hope they can get the rest of the house issues sorted and get back to their home.
When you say, you will never say no when people and your child see for help. You will help them to fix it again and again until they can fix it them self.. it is just make me cry 😢... Surely, that a big hit for me.. because i have 2 childs with mental disability.. sometimes i feel stuck and angry when they make same mistake.. 😢😢 Now, you hit me hard.. but i thank you for words.. . ❤ Sorry for my bad english
I think what y'all are doing is wonderful! I personally know the struggle and it's nice to see that there are people that care! Six years ago I fell into depression and i was just doing the very bare minimum. I wasn't living, i was just surviving. When I did start to open up to a therapist and get help, and I was trying to clean a little at a time, then my Mom passed in 2020 and it was like i was back to square one. I stopped letting people in my house, I was staying reclused, and I finally opened up to my daughter ( she's grown) and I told her that i needed help. She was shocked because i had always kept my house clean while raising her and my other children, but she rolled up her sleeves, and said what do you want me to do. So yes you're very right that it's not about being lazy and asking for help is a big deal. Since then, which was just two years ago, she's moved back home, im in regular therapy, and my house is now a home. So i appreciate that you didn't cut anyone down and acknowledged that mental health has a lot to do with it. You're very right, a lot of people deal with this. Yes my house was close to looking like the one that you're cleaning and i was so embarrassed that i wouldn't let anyone in, I'd meet people outside if they showed up, and after opening up and asking my daughter for help, i cried from feeling like a failure. But she got the rest of my children, which are all adults, and it took us a little over two months of cleaning to get my house back to a home. Im so thankful that my children and their spouses didn't judge me. So if someone you know is staying to themselves, no longer having company over, and meets you outside if you show up- let them know that you're there for them, because sometimes just knowing that you're not alone means so much! God bless
One of the things which always crosses my mind is that people lived their daily lives in these spaces, and I always wonder what kinds of lives they lived, what their problems and challenges were, etc. It's like archaeology.
I was getting ready to say you needed a snow shovel! Then there it was!! Two years ago my husband of 40 years died. My daughter and her family had just moved in with us. Long story short them being here helped but with 2 severe ADHD and 2 ADD people in this house it has been a struggle. With my health issue and my daughter and I suffering with depression the last 2 year my house is a disaster. Watching your channel helped me start. I am teaching my adhd grandson how to clear an area and then move to the next spot. As I watch this he is beating rugs on a tree. Frustration is a real thing fir him. Beating the rugs helps!!
Houses like this one makes me incredibly sad, because this is how my Aunty lived. Many times I went and helped her reset her house and many times it happened again. She passed away a couple years ago without ever being able to live without this issue.
I am so glad you help people who need it. They are brave letting you in. I hope that people that need help will reach out to someone to get help. Sorry about your back. Back pain can knock you out. You are a trouper!
Thank you for understanding & explaining Depression. You hit the nail on the head. I need help, but I am too ashamed to ask my close friends. Thank you for discussing the shame of Depression. I am struggling to clean up my depression home. It is unorganized, which makes me put stuff everywhere "just until" I can organize and declutter. I am stuck. Lots of projects, I can't fix on my own, has me effed up. You have so much compassion for us. You are changing lives.
When my son went on holiday for a week I moved into his house to mind the dogs. His house was almost as bad as this one- I got 5 areas cleaned and tidied of rubbish. I found a bedroom I didn’t know they had.
@@BackyardRebel he and his wife were pleased with what I’d done but I doubt they’ve kept it up (they don’t have people over) but my son did say he’d bought a Dyson vacuum so maybe…
🙏🏻 I pray that you had a serious conversation with your son before he went on holiday. I have done this with my son when he was gone for the weekend. I did dishes and cleaned up trash and had a couple loads of clothes done . He came home to many piles of like items ( fishing, tools, gaming) . He likes it when it's cleaned up but he won't keep it clean. It did smell better though. 🤷♀️
Because you gave Remi a shout out I'm subscribing to yours!! TH-cam suggested yours because I follow her...I love cleaning and I appreciate understanding why others like or need to clean...I also hope to understand more about those who struggle with being organized or keeping their homes clean...hoarding is not so common in the country where I am from, so that is also something that intrigues me...looking forward to learning from you....
Once upon a time, I mentioned to my husband “I need a dumpster.” Next thing I know there is one in our front yard. Everything I tried to put in it he had an opinion about how it should be organized. It’s trash! I gave up. Sat there for 6 months. Didn’t pay much cause they charged by weight of what they pick up. What a frustrating experience.
@@jsabri6324 The really strange thing is he didn’t care what I threw away, it was the idea of how it was placed in the dumpster. 🤷🏼♀️ That got old real quick. Lol
Oh, lordy. That's a new one on me. Organize trash. I have to throw stuff out while my husband isn't home or when he's sleeping because he sort of has a similar problem, like wanting me to break down every box or and mash the milk jugs before they go in the garbage, but he has a germ phobia, so once something goes in the garbage, he won't dig it back out again to "do it right."
You are amazing in how you help us to understand. I feel sorry for those who ridicule others. Shame on them. No one lives like this because they choose. You and Jason are a blessing. Thank you!
Once again, educating your followers helps so many people understand the psychology of hoarding. Thank you and another great job. So glad you are keeping the black mold for the professionals. Although the moose idea has merit.
I've always appreciated that in every single video, without fail, you stand up for those with mental illness and how you won't tolerate people who say they're just "lazy." It's part of the reason I always go to your channel and respect it so much. The other reason is the endless dad jokes 😂
That floor is in astonishingly good condition considering the depth of the trash strata. Pity about the black mold, but at least it's not rotting at every seam. And props to the owner for letting you throw everything away. That's very hopeful for a better future.
Oh my, I'm so glad they asked for help and acknowledged the problem, and the process of cleaning it up. Mack, I hope your burnout gets better soon. Much love sent to you from Georgia
This is your best video yet!! Wow.. not just from a cleaning/transformational perspective but the way you explain ADHD and empathy so articulately. It was like i was in therapy and a philosophy class at the same time. All whilst being injured and going through burnout.. bravo my friends ❤
My sister first turned me onto your videos. I have ADHD and never realized my cleaning issues were caused by it. She went from blaming me being lazy and what not to understanding why it's the way it is. I've even learned more about my disorder from you and I was diagnosed when I was 15. Now I'm 45. I want to thank you for helping others without certain disorders to understand why it's not completely our fault and why it's hard to ask for help.
First, thank you for your compassion for the people in this situation. Second, I know someone whose home is hoarded. What I find odd is she acts like it is normal. She never even says “excuse the mess.” I would love to help her, but the situation is beyond just me. I just don’t know where to start, other than someday gently saying that this is not a normal way to live, and when she is ready, I will try to help.
I can't believe how good that floor looked when you were done. I was sure it would be destroyed, at least in parts. But, I guess you were right, the piles of clothing helped absorb all the rotting stuff. It looks amazing. You can look at the before pics and see that someone once cared about their home. Look at the cute furniture, shelving and nic nacs. They once took care of it. Hopefully they will now be able to get the mold, etc., fixed because of your kindness, and come back to the home they once loved. I'm glad you do shout outs of the youtubers you enjoy following. That's how I found Bonnie, Barbie, Mira, Ari, etc. Not sure who came first but, I'm glad to hear the shout outs because I've now found many that I enjoy following, and seeing all the good work you all do for others. It's very special what you do. Thank you for your generosity of helping those who cannot help themselves. :)
The very first study I participated in college in was tracking and documenting a schizophrenic woman who happened to have an alcohol and hoarding disorder. This place reminds me of my project with Dr. Cohen. I had to follow this woman around and observe what she collected and brought back to her apartment. Man, I’m getting some flashbacks. lol
That's fascinating. What kind of things did she bring home? Did she have a preference for certain items, or was it just whatever caught her fancy at the moment?
@@tamaratamtammorris8151 she had no rhyme or reason to what she collected. She actually had only picked up about 10 different items but I remember her collecting a gum wrapper and I told my prof about it. He said I was to be careful about imposing my ideas about what and wasn’t of value. I learned it’s not about the stuff so much but rather, what kind of anxiety is relieved by the obsessive and compulsive behavior of collecting
HOLY HELL! I just realized something! Those of us in the Autism/Asperger's/ADHD crowd, mainly people who exhibit the body doubling habit; try putting these videos on and cleaning. With the video showing AND talking about cleaning, at least for me, it feels close enough to having someone here cleaning with me that I just did it for 45 minutes without even paying attention to the time passing
Oh my gosh! I'm going to give that a try!
Bravo! Great idea.
I do this! It really helps me out, too.
I'm literally getting up right now to do dishes with this video on.
I've done this! 10/10 Recommend.
I helped clean a house like this once and the saddest thing to me was the layers. I could see that for this period of time he was trying to eat healthier, for this period he was drinking more after his daughter died, here he was eating ramen and tinned meat because money was tight, this later he was actually putting the trash in bags that never made it outside, etc. The layers of trying to do better at some things and the layers of hard times, all interspersed with bottles of medication that got lost before he could take all the pills. My heart breaks for everyone who struggles to this degree.
This actually made me tear up 😢x
I also helped to declutter a hoarder's house once, and I can relate. It was such an emotionally overwhelming experience, and it really makes you think to know that you saw the remains of just one of countless similar human tragedies.
That's so sad..😢
"the idea of the floor becomes an abstract concept"
That's some beautiful poetry right there.
New subscriber here. I have ADHD and have been in a massive pit of depression for almost a year. Yesterday I went through 10+ years of paperwork and deep cleaned our entire bathroom…all while listening to these videos. THANK YOU for your incredible voice overs and massive amount of effort. I have the rest of the house to clean still with a lot of “doom piles” and some dirtiness, but for the first time ever I don’t feel completely overwhelmed. Your recommendation for cleaning one area of a room at a time is a game changer! Wishing you and your family the best.
Hey man, saw a ton of comments saying they came from here! Thank you SO SO much for the incredibly kind words! What you do is amazing, this level of kindness and empathy is an absolute joy to watch
Thank you! My wife and I watch all of your videos. You are our go-to channel for getting in an instantly good mood!
THERM⁉️
So funny when two unrelated youtubers I follow somehow cross payhs
I firmly believe that the content creators are exponentially more important that the actual content. We may come to a channel for something in particular but we stay because the creator has a passion for what they do and is able to convey that passion to we the viewers. Mack is able to do this to perfection. The Toe Bro is another, as well as Flawless Cleaning in the UK.
@conniecook8019 I'm hooked on Flawless Cleaning too.
I want to say a big thank you to you. Why? In a previous video you talked about fighting depression and making yourself get up and do something to fight it instead of just doing nothing. I am over 70 and for fifteen years I have held a couch down but after what you said I got up and moved! I am now cleaning long overdue tasks, and a big...THANK YOU!!!
You never gave up! ❤❤❤
🤗🤗🤗
Congratulations! That’s huge! I suffer from chronic depression and it’s true. Getting up to do anything is always better-no matter how hard.
How super to see this post. Well done. Keep it up. You've got this. ❤❤
Impressive! Well done, you earned a spinkick!! 👍👍👍
I like how you explain these types of illnesses so others can understand them. This is far from being lazy. Thank you for standing up for those who have mental illness.
My place became a mess too. I was already ill with two chronic illnesses and a multitude of other health disorders and found life increasingly difficult. I have adhd and Asperger’s too.
People treated me like I was a lazy slob and I started to believe it myself.
Now I have late stage Parkinson’s disease - only recently diagnosed so it explains these past years of struggling….
Mind you I still care for my adult son and nobody ever bothers to help out.
I don’t ‘look’ sick enough apparently
If your son is disabled, please check with your local government as many places have help available for your son which helps you, and also will help transition his care after you no longer can provide it. You have my best wishes!
Empathy. More people need to Get some
I came here to say the same thing!
I agree too.😊❤
I want to thank you for removing and blocking negative comments and people. It makes your channel a completely positive experience for me. I so appreciate that since I not only watch the vid, but read up to the first 70-100 comments under the vid.
Same
Same
I appreciate that so much. I like reading comments, but some channels let their comment section turn into a cesspool of trolls and it's depressing. I just watched this horrible news video about an elderly woman getting knocked down and 90% of the comments were trolls. Better to close the comment section than allow that.
Same
Absolutely this. Same here!
I love your approach to shame and embarrassment. Not, "you should be embarrassed because you deserve to feel bad about yourself," but "you should be embarrassed because that's a healthy and normal reaction and its presence means progress can be made." This is really going to change my approach to this emotion in the future. Thank you for redefining it and giving it meaning.
Where is the shovels guys?
Now the shovels come out, great
First off…..thank you.
My daughter died in 2016. My brain absolutely ceased to function in any sort of normalcy after that. I got lost going to the grocery store numerous times.
My house got so cluttered for several months after that. My spouse proceeded to call me lazy and exasperated the situation by not helping and contributing to the mess.
I was able to sort it out, with help. He proceeded to spiral out of control and ended up in prison. I have since divorced him and am learning how to live with this “new brain set” I now find myself in.
Your channel helps me by showing a different perspective on how to approach some different situations.
So thank you. Not only are you helping the people in your area but you are helping a grief stricken Momma whose PTSD brain malfunctions regularly. Thank you.
God bless you. We never "get over" grief. We just learn to live with it. I hope you have many happy and fulfilling moments, and lots of comfort and love!
First, the into with the Humpty dance is perfection. Second, hugs for your burnout. Third, I am a recovering hoarder. I had a house where I worked and basically was only there during my work stretch to sleep. My father got sick and passed so I wasn’t “living” in my house for 7 years. Last year my sister and mother and cousin came to help me conquer it. I spent 10 days alone just bagging garbage. Then, they came to help with clothes and books and DVDs. I wouldn’t have made it without their help. Watching your channel has helped me push through and now I’m getting ready to sell that house. Thank you 🎉
Omg so proud of you!!!! Keep on rockin’!
I am just overwhelmed with throwing stuff away even though I am not a hoarder. Just stuff I don't need. If you can get rid of things, I have no excuse. Bless you.
That wasn't easy. Good for you and your mother and sister and cousin.
All the best to you on this journey!
@@nikluv21Don’t beat yourself up. Set tiny goals like “today, I’m going to throw out one bag of trash, and take one bag of stuff to Goodwill.” If you can do one but not the other, you still moved forward.
I need your videos. At 69, I've lost my mom, dad and both siblings. My nieces and nephews forget I'm still here. Loneliness and depression has really bogged me down. I have about 130 boxes of my deceased families stuff in my apt that I have to go thru and do something with. I'll start on a box and it brings back memories. Some good, some bad. Then I have to stop after a few minutes. It's depressing and it keeps me depressed all day. Nothing is getting done. Your videos are kind of a pep talk to me. I can do this!
I’d like to challenge your statement “I have to go through “. You don’t have to. You can choose to let it all go or let someone else do it.
Hugs, Vanessa! You CAN do it. 🤗
Rooting for you!!!
One small box, at a time. Or half a box. Have a box of tissues, close by, along with your favorite drink. Put on your favorite music. Then, when it’s overwhelming, stop. Then you can be proud and relieved you accomplished this task. It’s not easy, with all those memories. I still have my mothers purse in a drawer, still intact. She has been gone 24 years. It’s been a long,slow process to sorting her things. God bless you
I'm 69, too, and it seems like my own kids forget about me. My parents are gone, I have siblings but they live a thousand miles away and when I stopped making the effort to stay in touch, they never bothered. It's a real issue with us older people. Almost everyone I ever knew either moved away or died. As for boxes of your relatives' belongings, I agree with the comment that you aren't obligated whatsoever to go through them. Life is too short, especially when you're 69. If it were me, I might peek inside, but unless there was an obvious chest of gold or something inside, I would just throw the boxes out one or two at a time and get rid of them.When my mom died, I got one set of old children's records because my brother said he wanted them. He didn't. I finally decluttered them. When my mother-in-law died, my husband took one pewter tray that he liked and nothing else. I told my son that when I die, he can just have all of my stuff hauled away. I don't want him to be burdened by my stuff. I told him not to go through it, just get rid of it. It took him 3 years to go all through his dad's parents' stuff and I don't want him to do that when I go.
Very interesting to hear someone who’s actually autistic explain a bit about how autistic people see and process their environment. You have a gift for explaining things that are hard for others to comprehend or even imagine.
Definitely an eye opener. My older brother is autistic and what he was saying matched what my brother would do or how he lives.
My daughter has severe ADHD and if I didn’t intervene weekly her apartment would look like this. But I have set up a half hour body doubling cleaning session and she has learned to do a lot and appreciate the cleaner house. I don’t clean to my level but do it to her ability. But she could never clean on her own. I’m so glad I can support her this way so she can live her best life
There's a whole body double cleaning discussion above, but I would also recommend Clutterbug's videos and podcasts. She has great topics, ways of approaching stuff, great voice and personality - and also has ADHD. I wonder if her content could help too
The fact that too many people believe autistic people lack empathy really annoys me. Nearly every autistic person I've met is very empathetic. Just because we might show it differently doesn't mean we lack it. I outwardly show empathy for animals all the time. How I show empathy for people is indirect which is why I'm a data analyst for homelessness prevention. I'm a background person, but my job helps the people on the front line.
isn't it because in people-to-people interactions, sometimes they don't anticipate the behavior or words or phrasing/delivery of the autistic person? so they make a bushel of assumptions? at least i've read stuff like that. and maybe someone just has social anxiety or is playing through multiple responses in their head and so the response is slow to happen. idk, i think there's a bunch of personality types along with autism and sometimes also disorders/anxiety/etc etc. my brother was diagnosed with aspergers a while back. so i guess now they did away with that and it's just high functioning autism.
anyways, he's never been accused of the empathy thing, though he's got struggles in the communication department. it's not always his fault, though. i think the other people get used to 'scripts' and so they anticipate what they think should be said and go 404 error when they get something different. to me, it's crazy to not be adaptable. like... come on, that is a little nuts. the script thing.
he's very empathetic, though sometimes can fall into some black and white thinking surrounding charged topics and it can appear that empathy isn't there. but i'd call that more a special case. it's like it shuts off because of intense anger about an issue (just pop a political issue of some kind in here.) and i get how he feels, but i remind him that you can't assume everyone in a group is the same and also not worthy of breathing. again, it's the anger. but when he's tired sometimes people think he's abrupt or mad. and he told me recently it's because he realizes that even if people make a joke, he can't really muster up reactions. just too damn tired.
so idk, some of it might be valid perceptions, and things that can be worked on. and some is just because people are script-mongers and on automatic pilot. idk that i'm on the spectrum. i think my people issues/troubles were mostly being raised in a household with my mom who i think is on the spectrum herself. so if your parent "doesn't get people", you aren't learning the stuff at home and have to get it in your relations and interactions OUT of the house. which... ugh. but doable. but ugh. it can be awkward and feeling constantly behind. i can adapt to the new info, which is why i don't think i'm on the spectrum. versus how my brother or even my mom react to new info. it's just... different. like, it isn't something they can know and just apply? if that makes sense. not with everything, just some things.
and then for me i think i got hit with the ADHD stick. and one of the reasons i watch THIS channel is because i have a "stuff" problem. yeah, ADHD and depression/mood disorder. and people low-key call me a hoarder. from the stuff mack says, it really just seems like an offshoot of the other things and not actually hoarding disorder at all.
anyway i'm sorry you encounter that - people believing autism affects empathy. it's dumb, i mean... well, most people don't have a psych background so they have no IDEA what they're talking about. for disorders that affect empathy it's more in the range of narcissism, sociopathy, psychopathy. broken, diminished, or absent. not once have i ever encountered a tie between empathy issues and autism. but then ask anyone what bipolar is and they will nod knowledgable and totally describe borderline personality disorder. sigh. they feel very certain over their gaping chasm of knowledge.
best you can do, for them, you, and everyone, is just to educate. just to say autism and lack of empathy isn't a thing. you just sometimes express yourself differently. also, a lot of people don't actually know what the definition of empathy IS. commonly also confused with sympathy.
From my experience it’s definitely the opposite. The autistic people I know are hyper-empathetic, to the point that it causes the person harm.
Thank you for your service to the community! ❤
I have been a professional cleaner of hoarded homes as well as well maintained homes.
I have kept my home immaculate.
Post trauma, I am stumped and unable to do what I once did.
I have become what I feared.
I LOVE what you do and how you explain everything.
I would love to get back to my former glory.
You will get there... Slowly but surely...
Bring people in to help! Trauma literally did damage to your brain. Trauma informed therapists who specialize in hoarding disorders.
Mack has told us "just pick one thing to accomplish for the day, focus on that one thing". I personally have done this and surprised myself for getting more done than the one thing. Just put one foot in front of the other as the saying goes!!!! even when it's hard.
I was where you are once. I learned about hoarding from the show. The lucky part for me was I realized sooner rather than later.
Start wherever you start and go at your own speed. Ask for help from people who will support you. Those who don't give you support don't have them around. Positive supportive people.
You are a phenomenal human being!
Mack, you're not a content creator. You're a life preserver on a sinking ship; a ray of sunshine on a stormy sea. Thank you for all that you do to help those who need it the most. What you do is a blessing to so many.
If I could triple-like your comment, I would!!!
👏👏👏
100% de acuerdo !!! 👏👏👏
He surely is ❤
I wholeheartedly agree.
Yes, well said and true! I watch not because I'm in the same mess, but I know I am high risk for something like this to
happen. Very arthritic senior, I also watch to get motivated beyond the pain and discomfort. Harder to hit a moving target! HAHAHA
My mom and my stepdad (at different times of my life) once said that this is what my house would look like and that I "would need a map to make it from the front door to my living room." I'm happy to say I have not let my home get this bad and make it a point to clean little by little. However, as someone who has had mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse in the past, I will never make fun or be okay with being disgusted of someone else's trauma or anxiety. I live with this everyday. I am glad she asked for help. She has a beautiful house and I wish her the best at her progression. Thank you, Mack and Jason. Hope you feel better soon.
@@moon-moth1 thank you.
My grandparents' health has really gotten bad recently and they struggle to keep their home clean. Every time I visit, I clean a part of their home. They're usually embarrassed, but I tell them not to worry. In the end, they're always so happy with the cleaning I've done. I just want them to live safely and healthy. And if I can help them with that, then I am happy.
Would it help to explain that by accepting this help that you are doing out of love & respect will allow them to remain independent and lot longer? Unless someone has severe dementia it’s the things like keeping the house clean and in working order that eventually causes older people to leave their homes.
You’re a good egg kid.
God bless you for putting your love and caring into action!
I lost the love of my life last summer in a motorcycle accident on his way to work on a random Monday morning. I haven’t been the same since. Seeing your videos has helped me accept that I need to address my loss and how it’s affecting my home. I am fortunate My oldest friend is forcing me to move in with her and renting out my house. Cleaning/clearing out the house room by room is exactly what I needed. Watching you is so helpful. I’m not even close to the condition of the homes you clean but seeing where I could easily get to is all I need.
Sending a big hug- I experienced and have heard it can take at least a year to start to recalibrate. I hope you and your friend can make some progress and also be kind to yourself that it will take some time! 🩷
My deepest condolences on your loss. I am glad your friend has opened her home to you to help you move on.
12:17 "Asking for help is not a weakness... [it's] your weapon, and just like with any weapon, it takes strength to wield it responsibly." What a beautiful message. It is challenging sometimes to find the balance between asking for help versus outsourcing your problem/issue/task to someone else for your own convenience. You stated it perfectly though 💛 There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help when you NEED it, and only you will be able to tell the difference between needing help versus wanting convenience; that's what I feel is meant by "wield it responsibly"
I’m amazed that the floors are okay! And thank you for your kindness. After years of domestic abuse my house got pretty gross. I hid in my room to avoid the abuser. Six months in and probably another year to go to get it all tidy. Yes I am damned embarrassed, but it’s getting done.
I hope you're free of your abuser and safe now 🫂
Sending love and best wishes, you’ve got this 💖
Keep going. Every day you wake up can keep your goals in sight is a wonderful day.
💕
ah you're always so right about item blindness for adhd. i usually set items out to remind myself to complete a task with them (paperwork i need to fill out a form, cleaning supplies, etc) but then when i put off the task, the stuff just sits around forever
Me too
Yes. My table and some other surfaces are a mess. The floor is fine.
i had filing my friend helped me sort through and just that LAST STEP kept not happening. ffs it was just to put it in there, and take out old stuff IF it didn't fit. i've now had to put the piles into piles for the 3rd time because of walking around it on the floor and cats running OVER it. (arghhhh) and it kept sweeping the piles together. each one had a massive post it note for the name of the pile, to get around my later looking and doing a brain fog blank faced huhhhh? and just not be able to pick back up.
really helps to have a REASON you need to do the thing. for me, finally, it's putting in a large fishtank on the other side of the room and i need the floor clear. that's finally getting it done.... (sad, i know. but, well, you do what you can right?)
This video reminded me of a comic I saw on Tumblr a while back. It reads:
“Animals learn their most vital skill first. An hours-old foal can run; a newly hatched snake can bite.
What do babies do? Babies cry.
Your most important skill is asking for help.”
I love how you said "asking for help is your weapon", for so much of my life I pretended so hard that I had it going on. When I finally admitted I definitely did not, and at that point no one could have honestly, that was the first time in my life things actually started getting ok. We all need help, I think it's part of being human.
Also, I appreciated the comment about being embarrassed being a positive thing!
Your explanation of fixing your kids' car and fixing it again until they learn how to do it themselves was a fantastic analogy. You are a good teacher. Thank you for sharing your work. Great job on this house.
Wow. I’m not autistic but the “cleaning is a punishment” thing happened when I was growing up. I didn’t establish daily tidying and cleaning habits. Now, having just turned 70, I am still struggling keeping house. It’s torturous. I literally beg god to “make me clean tomorrow”. That doesn’t help very often. What does help is I ask myself what needs would be met if I cleaned my house. Usually it’s a need for: order, calmness, beauty, safety, cleanliness of course, security, and pride. The good kind of pride.
Idk if this might help. It's a life saver for me to have an organized, clean, relaxing space. I use colored 3x5 cards in a 3x5 card holder box with dividers. You make a card for each thing you want to do every day, a different card color for the things you want to do once a week, a different color for the things you want to do once a month, then once a year. Then give yourself a lot of grace and decide a lot of the chores can be done every other week, or every other year etc. Then, divide them up in the filing box. - which is a pain. If you're interested, comment on this and I'll look for the book I learned it from 30+ years ago. 😅 I wish I could say I've used the cards straight through. But when I get super overwhelmed I restart the cards and feel a lot of releif.
cleaning becomes so much easier once you have done that deeper cleaning work. Then a wipe down of a surface once a week or two takes no scrubbing
My heart goes out to you. One thing that helps me just starting with dishes. Making sure the dishes get done each day, and that’s all. The next step is setting a 15 minute timer (daily) and only cleaning for that amount of time. You’d be surprised at how much it adds up. Those two things really make a massive difference.
God bless you in the name of Jesus Christ, who is the name above all names & the only way to Heaven❤
@@Cello-Pamask God to help you clean today. 🙏🏻
I've been a housekeeper my entire life and about 3yrs I stopped as I didn't get satisfaction the way I use to my customers treated me as I was a lesser ATP many were very wealthy and snubbed their noses at me because I was just a house keeper, but after watching you and some organizers the last year...... this fall I'm going back to work because I loved so much what I did and how it helped people who actually needed help and a lot of people do need help. I will brush off the feeling those other humans gave me and return to what I love. Thank you for doing what you do. we will never know someone's struggle unless we experience empathy for them.
I actually stopped cleaning for wealthy people when I had my cleaning business.
@@MidwestMagicCleaning im so glad you went back. Your here helping me also. :)
I love these videos brought you back to doing something you loved. I also loved keeping my place immaculate until I couldn’t. I had a shut down episode or a freezing episode. I did recently also find out I have a condition where my vertebrae pops out of my spine in my lower back and they have to be pushed back into place by a chiropractor. My movement is now very limited and the risk involved with surgery are out of the question. I recently got approved for a full time home health aide and she said she has adhd/ocd and I got my place back. Looks better than ever. Young woman, God bless her! She loves what she does. Even though I’ve told her many many times, she will never know how truly grateful I am.
@@marlenelindsey7638 I have ADD and CPTSD as well as health issues so I feel your pain. I think apart of the reason I stopped was the C-PTSD. I was very unaware of how childhood traumas could effect your life later on as well as young. I'm glad to hear you have an aid that does things to help you. I binge watch him sometimes and put it on double speed even when hes already at double triple speed..... as he would say cause that's how I roll son.... lol.
The analogy of helping your kids fix their cars regardless of whether they will break again just perfectly explains the empathy that folks like these need and deserve. These kinds of messes come from trauma and/or mental health struggles and lack of support and resources to address it compounds it even more! Being tough and judgmental will only deepen their trauma, make them isolate and feel even less supported or like they can reach out for help.
Also huge kudos to you for recognizing you weren't very empathetic and worked on changing that. So many people are unable or refuse to do that kind of introspective work on themselves; I admire you sir! 👏👏👏
In return for the channel rec's I will make one of my own Flawless Cleaning Services on youtube. UK based him and his dad started out doing water pressure cleans of patios and driveways for free. It's now grown to the point where he's helping elderly and sick people get their neglected houses water tight with roof repairs etc, and then reclaiming their overgrown gardens. It's so satisfying watching these gardens slowly re-emerge from all the brambles and weeds. Often while he's doing these projects neighbors will start to get involved both in feeding them lunches etc and helping out - or asking for help themselves.
Love Ben and Paul! :)
Ah! Helping Peggy and Jim! Love those people!
And also helping norman
omg i could totally do the gardening part. it's immensely satisfying, but also an act of creation. in addition, i set things up to be more self sufficient and need less care. i did that at my current property though no video footage. like, the side yard between my neighbor and i was knee high weeds and poison ivy. thought to myself, "if i rip this all out, and put edging and an actual garden with mulch..... no more weedwacker every 2 weeks. and if it's landscaped with drought tolerant stuff for the most part, i could get away with not watering after stuff is established.
then on the back corner of the house was another weed infested spot, and sunken pavers, and it was just always bad and needed mowed or weedwhacker. so i did a project to lay down pavers and did polymeric sand between them. now it's a nice area that only needs a few weeds pulled on the edges.
the fish pond had stupid landscaping. it was like med and large riverstone and CONSTANT weeds. i dug it all out, weed cloth, SMALL stones a few inches thick, with larger ones in clusters (which looks cool but initially was to make sure weed cloth edges didn't pop up into view) and mulch on the back side right up against the house with a few creeping plants. that was a nightmare of weeds TOO. and some stepping stones on that side. so, it's all tidy, can easily be maintained, and looks so fekking good and zen and peaceful and stuff.
*i wouldn't mind helping people do this... though i have no idea HOW. like how do you connect to the people that need it?* i did it for a friend of mine who was swimming in depression and in a fairly new house. and also fast-tracked putting out her garden lights. and it was like HUGE for her. i could even SEE the weight lift. and knowing that a space is designed and built to be LESS work... i think that's also key. a big deal. lightening the chore load really helps mentally. it's easier to just do, also, if you only need 10m instead of 40. or have some things on automatic.
Yes! These guys are so generous and kind!
Ugh! Sorry to say my mother in law passed away in April. The woman threw absolutely nothing away. We got a full dumpster from just the Master bedroom and a couple of closets plus the attic and garage. So now I'm trying to clean out her house and maintain my own while fighting the ADHD and I also have PTSD. You always help me so much and give me encouragement. We can do this!!
Oh the inspiration! Thank you. The mess from being a crafter with ADHD is real! Thank you! Now going to do something or a bit of time!
We just finished doing that for my mother in law, who suddenly had to leave her apartment and move to 24-hour care. Going through her one-bedroom apartment took a total of two weeks. We hauled so much trash out, then donated many things and finally had someone come get the furniture that none of her kids wanted/needed. It was so much work but I'm happy she didn't have to try to get it done for herself.
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.
Me too same issues n goin thru house for first 7 years down to every piece of paper. Plus her mom’s stuff. Early 1900 stuff. Omg we donated lots of to 💜 Purple Heart she even hung on to clothing from the fifties n sixties like overwhelming to say the least. Now gpa passed 15 months ago so now we dealing with his wood shop business n products . Thanks for the woodworkers association of America. Building n shed n backyard. Needless to say my hubby just had heart attack in feb n got stint goin thru cardio rehab n ready to return to work July 15. He was in the dentist chair when it happened. Thank God cuz at home he could have passed. Smh no pain just wheezing n low oxygen n blood pressure went sky high. Sorry for rambling. I just really related to this one. 💯🥰👍 P.S. lol what the hell we do with a metal melting pot from way back when. Very heavy. 😂🤦♀️🤷🏼♀️ I also have anxiety depression ptsd epilepsy (controlled) introvert. Don’t do stores or crowds. Crazy huh yes totally inspiring n motivates me .
My great aunt started hoarding after her husband died in the 80s. She had no kids of her own but my grandma had 5 and all her kids had at least 3 so she was very welcome in our big family. She took care of 4 ladies from her church that she kept all their stuff. She was very wealthy and had a 3 story house filled with stuff. I think another issue for her was environmental issues where she didn’t want stuff to end up in a landfill.
My dad's mom was like that. When her and pap passed it took may dad, his sisters and some nephews like a week to get most of it out.
My son is autistic with very severe OCD. My rule with his room is, twice a day take the dishes out and leave them on a tray outside his room if he doesn’t feel up to going downstairs. And clothes in the laundry basket at the end of the day. Once a week, either he cleans & changes his sheets, or I will. He likes the structure. And my help if he is in burnout.
So, I've never been diagnosed, but my best friend whose brother has ADHD and Autism, has lightly mentioned to me that she suspects that I'm the same (though a more mild case). I'd noticed a few quirks of both in my daily life, but your explanation on how ADHD contributes to something like this and can make depression worse (which I've been diagnosed with officially), really struck home.
I had an issue with leaving clothes on the floor when I was younger, but luckily, I think living with people other than my parents helped fix that problem (yay for shame lol). If anyone finds themselves struggling with that, I recommend having 2 or 3 hampers as that helped me a lot. I've unfortunately never grown out of my desk clutter. Even as I type this I can count 10 fast food drink cups and 3 glasses on my desk even though there is a trash can 3 steps away and the computer room is very close to the kitchen. The only fortunate things are that I tend to finally clear it once I've run out of space to put another cup down, and the trash clutter never really extends beyond the desk.
When you talked about putting things on the ground and telling yourself you'll get to it later, I immediately thought about the package I tossed on the ground earlier today while leaving for lunch, and have yet to go open and put away despite it being 10pm now and having been home all day. Or the backpack I used on a 5 day visit to my dad's place back in April still sitting on the couch where I placed it after getting home, now 3 months later.
When you talked about forgetting about things once they got put away, I immediately thought about all the times my boyfriend and I bought snacks that I never touched because I kept forgetting about them once they were in the cabinet or fridge (especially the nectarines I let go bad even though I'd gone through the effort of convincing my bf we should get them).
When you talked about the motivational issues that come with not having an immediate reward in doing a long term task, I think about how I was able to enter college as a sophomore due to all the credits I had from AP classes, only to get kicked out for academic delinquency in my third year (after flirting with academic probation on and off) because I had worked so hard to get into college that all of my motivation left me when I got there. The depression and self loathing that comes with that kind of loss of purpose is something I wouldn't wish on anyone.
It's almost freaky how much I identified with that, and just knowing that if things were just a bit different, I could've been in the same situation as the people who left this house behind is honestly kind of crazy. Thank you for all the work you put in to help these people clean up their past shame (quite literally).
Be careful when you search Colline cleans. It is too close to colon and auto corrected🤦♀️ I had colon cleanse videos for days😢😂
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🤣🤣🤣🤣 Delete your history
Whoopsie!
😆
Still can't get my head around how quickly Jason is filling up that trash can and yet, there's barely a difference to the pile on the floor. Huge respect to you both for keeping the motivation when dealing with hoards like that.
So proud of the lady to still ask for help after she took pictures. Brava!❤❤❤
Happy Fathers Day to all the dads on here! Hope everyone gets an extra moose for their collections. 😊
You’re so kind patient and educational. You don’t come on here with emotional and baity reactions and call out posts but instead educate your audience and empathize and I can’t tell you how much it calms me to hear it.
You're not ranting. Thank you for not being a jerk and actually offering real advice.
Mac, healing energy to you and Jason and your wife. Hugs from me to you all.
You're such a hope giver. Cleaning service is one thing I wish Medicaid and other in home healthcare plans would offer and pay for. Cleaning never gets mentioned in the assistance list. The volunteer choir services are extremely limited, they can't do the type of heavy cleaning and organizing that's often needed etc.... it's frustrating.
And when you physically can't clean, it can make you feel anxious and hopeless.
Professional organizers and cleaners specializing in adhd and disability, charge $300 a session, that might as well be a million to someone living on social security or disability benefits.
I wish people would consider all that, that there isn't much help to be had in many cases, people have tried to seek help before and been denied so they stop asking.
I wish this was a Medicaid covered service too. That would be amazing.
That's unfortunate! A little help can go a long h way to help a person get back on an even keel again. People don't feel good about themselves living like this, but sometimes they need help to get out of the ""funk".
This channel helps me make sure I don't do this to my children. I try to bulldoze my house and closets yearly or every couple of years. Due to my age, health, both mental and physical, it was fewer and farther between. I've watch probably 100 hoarder episodes to force me into action. I'm a saver, prepper, reuser and stacker for a rainy day. I live in the country so bugs and mice can always take over If I don't have access to corners. It takes watching these episodes for ideas and also imagining what my children would have to do in order to force me into action and better habits. And yes, most of the problem is from a trauma based life that had poverty, sadness and fear that led to brain fog. At 55, I'm trying to let go...
I in to
The fact you go through it at all is a credit to you. I’m trying to do a room and had a friend over for an hour this week to help me and that’s what I’m going to do each week because I don’t want to spend days at it and never want to do it again so for me whatever leaves the room is a bonus no matter how slow or long it takes. You can do it too. Best of luck. Mary, Joes wife 👍💪👏
Years ago I helped a person clean up his place while he
was in the hospital recovering from an operation. His wife had died and he was suffering from diabetes and not taking very good care of himself. He was very depressed and his house looked pretty bad.
It didn't get so bad that I had to shovel it out, but He was having a nurse coming in twice a week to change a dressing so he really had to clean up for that to happen. I really think i helped him alot. Just helping him helped him be less depressed. He did get aome help and he does take an anti-depressant now.
These before and afters are just stunning. I can almost feel that weight of anxiety getting lifted from the homeowners.
That house is in amazingly good shape considering the level of hoarding and length of neglect. The owner got very lucky. Your clean up looks great. You and Jason are good people- so generous with time, money and especially effort. Take care of that back
I swear, at this point I watch your videos half for the cleaning, and half to hear _SO_ much more useful information about autism/ADHD than I have in decades of therapy. I'm learning how to treat myself and my sibling's issues with respect and care. Thank you, Mack, from the bottom of my heart.
As someone with AuDHD, this made me tear up. I agree, these videos are SO helpful and lovely to watch-they remind me that there are good people in the world doing good for others. My special interest is abnormal psychology (apparently that’s a common Autistic special interest! I didn’t know until recently haha) so I learn about different people’s brains all the time and empathize with people whose experiences look WAY different from my own (such as DID systems), but it still blows me away (in a good way) when people like you say this about those with ADHD and/or Autism. People are realizing how common they are since learning more about them, and they’ve overhauled a lot of stereotypes that aren’t indicative of everyone’s experiences, so more and more I’m taught to listen to everyone’s experiences with a grain of salt, witness lived experiences (like the conditions of these videos/ these people’s lives), and I’m always learning something new that resonates. Thank you 🙏💗 It means a lot, and we’re in this together! ☺️
as someone with undiagnosed (but planning on getting diagnosed) adhd and autism.. the accuracy in the explanation of how everything gets worse with time.. was scarily accurate. I subscribed maybe a month ago, stumbling across the channel.
I grew up in constant "hoarder" house conditions due to a parent/family with mental disorders, so I never learned to clean, on top of having adhd.
When I started watching your videos, it finally dawned on me that if I don't teach myself to clean, although it's tough right now.. it'll be much worse, and I'll be in a worse state of mind. your videos made me see the satisfying side of cleaning, as opposed to associating it with past traumas of living in a "hoarder" home.. and honestly, I kinda really see why you enjoy doing it.
due to the undiagnosed autism I can't handle dishes or too much grime yet, but in the meantime, it's so much nicer feeling the confidence to clean FINALLY. your video explaining how to clean for someone with adhd also helped understand my kinda mess in particular and how to optimize it for me.
Sorry that this is getting long (I accidentally ramble and can't find a stopping point). but my room used to have towels, clothes, bags, and random stuff everywhere, mostly on the floor and tables. and now, finally, I have a completely clear floor and tables organized byt still optimized for my brain. I also used to clean with a paper towel and water and wonder why it never got better, and now 70% alcohol is my best friend, it's so satisfying to use.
I know I just graduated high school, so I'm not a major success story as a hoarder... but this channel DID prevent that from happening in the future. and, if I ever fall into a depressive state and it gets worse, at least I have the skills on-hand, and I know I'm not lazy. I knew I had (undiagnosed) adhd, but I never realized THAT'S why my brain's weird about cleaning and organizing.
Tl;dr: Thank you. as a recent graduate with adhd.. your videos made cleaning ACTUALLY click in my mind for once, and I'm grateful for that.
it's actually kinda fun! maybe one day I'll even become that one friend that insists on cleaning for my friends in the future. love those kinds of friends. but, NO DISHES.. the texture gives me the heeby jeebies.
That was such an interesting post, not rambling at all, just very well described.
It's great to hear how this channel has helped you (and others post that too).
Here's to your nice clean room, and keep going and be proud of yourself. To have achieved all that at your age is admirable xxx
great job friend!!! am just a few years older than you and i'm also teaching myself housekeeping skills / satisfaction especially with mack, i have wicked adhd and my bedroom was at its worst when i was also struggling with depression/anxiety from the stress of having no support in high school. i have the same problem with dishes and dishwater! i can grit my teeth through a quick wet food handle to clear the sink draincatch or something, but properly doing a bunch of dishes- shudder!! oily water is horrendous. i have a deal with my dad where he loads, i empty, which works pretty well, but i'm trying to expand my skills, so i've tried rubber dishgloves (the ones i have are lined with fabric too) and i like those a lot for preventing Wet Mushy touching. if you don't like water running down your arms i've also seen recommendations to 1. roll the end of the dishgloves into a cuff to catch drippage, and/or 2. put a cloth scrunchie (or a headband, wristband, sock with the toes cut off, etc) on each of your forearms to soak up stray drips. i liked the rolling trick when i tried it! best of luck to you!! ❤
@nasperadelane yess ugh, everything typically really sucks for so many reasons.. but life definitely doesn't get better til u find workarounds and expand skillsets. starting to realize that now. ive tried rubber gloves and wet rubber still feels horrendous to me, but I'll figure something out! Just gotta keep looking for solutions. mainly just wish i could just get rid of my sensory issues entirely, but not rlly anything a product is gonna do.
I HAVE TO THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.
Your talking about the various types of the disabilities is completely eye opening and the how of these manefesting in the person or persons suroundings.
This is the first time I have recognized ME.
Knowing I'm broken and sort of knowing the clinical depression is at fault but now I'm really wondering about the ADHD and autism and how they manifest with the trash build up placement of piles and buying habits. I am 72 I live with my daughter now. The journey has heartbreaking about my stuff. But You are showing me just how to stop thnking like always and opening my self to letting go and looking to finding a self-help group and or therapy.
God Bless you and what you do.❤
I am on also the spectrum. I also have OCD. I have always been extremely organized, but every nook and cranny of my house was covered with cabinets, closets, and bookshelves full of collectibles and hoard. I had panic attacks just looking at all of it, but not being able to do anything about it. One day I decided I've had enough. It took me almost ten years of kicking and screaming and going into full blown panic attacks, but I was able to get rid of 95% of my belongings. I sold the old house, moved to a tiny (675 square feet) house, and never looked back. My security blanket was my dog; I owe my life to him! In my new home there is no hoard, no collectibles, no sentimental objects, no TV, no books, no records/CD's, no decorations, no nicknacks, and no clutter. I can fill everything I own into my car. Minimalism brought back sanity into my life.
"My Belongings". Exactly how I felt. Did the same thing but more trauma followed. So I do know how to declutter. I have done that. I have always been a "clean freak" but it is still "all my belongings". Remembering what I did and how I did it to change the way my house looked will always be painful to me.
Very proud of you. It's a hard challenge to go through.
Ooo! I bet your house looks classy! Like a magazine!
Dont you find that to be, in lack of a better word, sterile?
That's great! God bless you in the name of Jesus Christ, who is the name above all names & the only way to Heaven💖
Your description of how people with depression will start cleaning and not make a dent and just feel oveewhelmed is spot on. I feel that way sometimes from cleaning.
man, i feel that with cleaning, sorting, and also construction projects. he's totally right about the dopamine hit, too. i NEED that, so that i can feel i got somewhere, and to keep moving fw. otherwise it drains the battery till i go from in the red to total dead.
Your example is true human compassion. I don't know how to tell you how valuable you are to our culture. I am a recovering hoarder and it gives me confidence and courage to join with you and learn.
Amazing!!!! My back hurts just watching this. You two are angels.
So glad you gave a shout out to Remi Clog and Coline Cleans! Both brilliant channels and I just love Remi’s honesty about how she’s struggling or what a successful week / day she’s had. I’ve been watching her channel for ages now. She truly inspires you to deal with messes in your house that you don’t really want to face and put off and takes you on the journey with her. Well worth a watch! And Coline is just brilliant, another lady with a heart of gold just wanting to help others for free. I can highly recommend them both! Oh and I’ll probably pass the quiz with flying colours! 😜🤣👍🇬🇧
I want to salute you both for the work on this house. But I also want to salute you (for lack of a better way to say it) for all the videos you put out about your house and where you were because you were going through it and you showed up anyway the way you could and Jason....you are a great son and you have a great dad. You guys are the real stuff. This is amazing. I just want to acknowledge that. I wish I had better words but I didn't want to miss trying to express this just because I didn't have those words.
You said it perfectly well!
Wow 😮😮😮 Thank you for explaining the ADHD accumulation process. Also the autistic process. So helpful.
Be careful. I had a small blister on a thumb from mowing and cleaned up a moldy area without gloves. I got cellulitis and had to be hospitalized. It left my left hand disabled, and it was the most intense, worst pain I've ever felt in my life.
Yes, my dad got this. He had these red streaks that travelled out from from the wound 😬.
Sorry that happened to you.
I lost most use of my right thumb and two neighboring fingers and it sucks. I send virtual hugs.
@@sam12587 Thank you, that's so sweet! So sorry about your hand too. You don't realize how much you use them until you can't.
omg, I've never heard of this before. Thanks for the warning. I can't remember ever cleaning a moldy area, other than a sometimes pushed back piece of food in the fridge. I will remember this for future!
@@wendyeskelin8765 Yes, it's very dangerous. If you ever suspect you have it, go to an ER quickly.
I'm all empathy & compassion for others. What I need is to learn the skill you have in spades as a special interest & super power! 🥰 I tried learning from other people but it never totally worked out. Maybe it's because I'm also autistic that your explanations make so much logical sense to me or your method resonates. I need organization & cleanliness but was not taught 😕 & struggled to learn until I found your channel. I am tackling the clutter & areas I have cleaned are staying clean. Even after I achieve my goals I'll continue to watch your videos because it's enjoyable & inspiring to see what you can accomplish while helping other people to get their lives back & help them feel better. ❤ Thank you so much for doing what you do & sharing the videos along with your thoughts with all of us! ❤
You do GREAT work!! Keep the faith and take care of yourself!
You and Jason do so much good for people that are in need. People that have problems never should be called lazy.
Great job guys!!
I truly don't think most people understand how much of an impact ADHD can have on someone's life, so many just look at it as being a little hyper or not being able to focus when in reality it can and does f up so many of our lives, like it has done to mine.
I am so happy that you are trying to teach people empathy. It is so lacking in this world.
This house looks great. It is actually a really nice house, and I hope they can enjoy it now!
Again, thank you for being forthright about adhd and hoarding being mental illness and being respectful of people who live with it daily. I grew up in a hoarder house. Depression and anxiety went hand in hand. Trying to pull out all the compressed storage was very taxing. Trying to go through so much stuff was overwhelming, and I'd shut down. We did throw out trash. It had got to a point, though, where piles were just not seen anymore. I was embarrassed to have to sell my house in as-is condition after I got sick and could not return to it. I now live in an apartment. I am a recovering hoarder, and I fight the instinct to pack all open space with things daily. It's like you feel volunerable in open areas. I'm determined not to use my closets as idk-what-to-do-with-it stuff it in areas. Its taken several years, but I have a table without boxes and bags under it, and chairs without boxes full of stuff tucked under them. My entry hall is bare, open floor. I can use my wheelchair or walker when I need to and not worry about how to get through. Sure, there are ppl who do far better at keeping things, but comparing me to myself as I was, I thank God it's way better. I can relate to cleaning as a punishment! Mom used to do that. Dishes were one sticky point. So I tell myself that it's not punishment, but rather that I am making it better for me and that I do deserve it to look nice and have a sense of satisfaction about it all.
Mad respect to you. My apologies for rambling. May God bless you with a good recovery from burnout!
ROFL - the teeny little song snippet. I've got a cassette tape with that on it, it is SO incredibly goofy. Also, re ADHD and similar executive dysfunction - my now-ex and I got into that awful spiral of putting stuff ... ummmm, *places* ... and then eventually becoming overwhelmed. Now we're separated, mainly due to this issue (best buds for life, thank HEAVENS), and I've gotten treatment for the ADHD, I can more or less deal with my own stuff. Most of the time. THANK you once more, from the bottom of my heart for both bringing attention to these issues and for helping people in these situations, without judgment. You've got my subscription, I hope it's able to help you out a little. All the best from the middle of Canada!
I have the, “I will get to it later” syndrome. My husband isn’t any better. But we are both a touch ADHD. We try to stay on each other and support each other. One isn’t down to do the laundry the other picks up the slack. So we live in a cluttered but organized environment. I so feel for those who have severe mental issues. Thank you so much to helping them. Watching your videos motivates me. 🙏🏽 😊❤
That's why it really helps to be two. I'm alone so no one to pick up my slack. The way I manage, usually, is to break everything into small chunks, otherwise I just can't
I have reoccurring major depression, severe anxiety, bipolar and OCD, so I can understand how that home got like that! I am so glad they asked for help!
I love it when you finally see the floors and say "wow what a nice house" and celebrate the new clean
Incredible! Seems like not enough words for the amount of work.❤😊
Yours is the only cleaning channel that I watch. I would like to say thank you for two things… first over time I realised I suffered from adhd and secondly you taught me on one of your videos how to work with this problem and it helped me enormously when I recently moved to be able to manage doing it on my own… now I just have untidy clothes cupboards but this will be my next project… so thank you
Thank goodness Jason is your partner in this business. I’m sure it helps when burnout occurs too. Glad to see this video-speedy healing for you both!
How does he tell trash from non- trash, or does he not even try? I would be sorting it all out...
It’s amazing you tackled a house like this with burnout. Amazing job! My moose and I will need a nap after watching this! 🫎
I can't believe no pests! Looking forward to the next parts. TYSM for helping these people! I hope they can get the rest of the house issues sorted and get back to their home.
"Empathy takes practice". This is an important concept, and I'm glad you brought it to the party today! Keep spin-kicking!
When you say, you will never say no when people and your child see for help. You will help them to fix it again and again until they can fix it them self.. it is just make me cry 😢...
Surely, that a big hit for me.. because i have 2 childs with mental disability.. sometimes i feel stuck and angry when they make same mistake.. 😢😢
Now, you hit me hard.. but i thank you for words.. . ❤
Sorry for my bad english
I think what y'all are doing is wonderful! I personally know the struggle and it's nice to see that there are people that care! Six years ago I fell into depression and i was just doing the very bare minimum. I wasn't living, i was just surviving. When I did start to open up to a therapist and get help, and I was trying to clean a little at a time, then my Mom passed in 2020 and it was like i was back to square one. I stopped letting people in my house, I was staying reclused, and I finally opened up to my daughter ( she's grown) and I told her that i needed help. She was shocked because i had always kept my house clean while raising her and my other children, but she rolled up her sleeves, and said what do you want me to do. So yes you're very right that it's not about being lazy and asking for help is a big deal. Since then, which was just two years ago, she's moved back home, im in regular therapy, and my house is now a home. So i appreciate that you didn't cut anyone down and acknowledged that mental health has a lot to do with it. You're very right, a lot of people deal with this. Yes my house was close to looking like the one that you're cleaning and i was so embarrassed that i wouldn't let anyone in, I'd meet people outside if they showed up, and after opening up and asking my daughter for help, i cried from feeling like a failure. But she got the rest of my children, which are all adults, and it took us a little over two months of cleaning to get my house back to a home. Im so thankful that my children and their spouses didn't judge me. So if someone you know is staying to themselves, no longer having company over, and meets you outside if you show up- let them know that you're there for them, because sometimes just knowing that you're not alone means so much! God bless
One of the things which always crosses my mind is that people lived their daily lives in these spaces, and I always wonder what kinds of lives they lived, what their problems and challenges were, etc. It's like archaeology.
I was getting ready to say you needed a snow shovel! Then there it was!!
Two years ago my husband of 40 years died. My daughter and her family had just moved in with us. Long story short them being here helped but with 2 severe ADHD and 2 ADD people in this house it has been a struggle. With my health issue and my daughter and I suffering with depression the last 2 year my house is a disaster. Watching your channel helped me start. I am teaching my adhd grandson how to clear an area and then move to the next spot. As I watch this he is beating rugs on a tree. Frustration is a real thing fir him. Beating the rugs helps!!
Houses like this one makes me incredibly sad, because this is how my Aunty lived. Many times I went and helped her reset her house and many times it happened again. She passed away a couple years ago without ever being able to live without this issue.
I hope you're ok and that you get time to care for yourself! Thanks for explaining burnout and sharing about autism ❤
I am so glad you help people who need it. They are brave letting you in. I hope that people that need help will reach out to someone to get help. Sorry about your back. Back pain can knock you out. You are a trouper!
Where does one find such help?
You are a champ, neurodivergent solidarity from Australia. Take care of yourself.
You are a champ, neurodivergent 💆 solidarity from Hungary. 🇭🇺
I love the Lawn lady shirt! 😘🌺
It's a blessing that the house so far is still in really good condition.
beautiful floors ✨
Ok
Thank you for understanding & explaining Depression. You hit the nail on the head. I need help, but I am too ashamed to ask my close friends. Thank you for discussing the shame of Depression. I am struggling to clean up my depression home. It is unorganized, which makes me put stuff everywhere "just until" I can organize and declutter. I am stuck. Lots of projects, I can't fix on my own, has me effed up. You have so much compassion for us. You are changing lives.
When my son went on holiday for a week I moved into his house to mind the dogs.
His house was almost as bad as this one- I got 5 areas cleaned and tidied of rubbish.
I found a bedroom I didn’t know they had.
What did he say when he came back? Was he glad for the help?
@@BackyardRebel he and his wife were pleased with what I’d done but I doubt they’ve kept it up (they don’t have people over) but my son did say he’d bought a Dyson vacuum so maybe…
Wow.... crazy. Good on you !!
🙏🏻 I pray that you had a serious conversation with your son before he went on holiday.
I have done this with my son when he was gone for the weekend. I did dishes and cleaned up trash and had a couple loads of clothes done . He came home to many piles of like items ( fishing, tools, gaming) . He likes it when it's cleaned up but he won't keep it clean. It did smell better though. 🤷♀️
YOU are a healer. Bless you.
Because you gave Remi a shout out I'm subscribing to yours!! TH-cam suggested yours because I follow her...I love cleaning and I appreciate understanding why others like or need to clean...I also hope to understand more about those who struggle with being organized or keeping their homes clean...hoarding is not so common in the country where I am from, so that is also something that intrigues me...looking forward to learning from you....
Once upon a time, I mentioned to my husband “I need a dumpster.” Next thing I know there is one in our front yard. Everything I tried to put in it he had an opinion about how it should be organized. It’s trash! I gave up. Sat there for 6 months. Didn’t pay much cause they charged by weight of what they pick up. What a frustrating experience.
I'm so sorry! Living with that is so, so difficult.
@@jsabri6324 The really strange thing is he didn’t care what I threw away, it was the idea of how it was placed in the dumpster. 🤷🏼♀️ That got old real quick. Lol
Oh, lordy. That's a new one on me. Organize trash. I have to throw stuff out while my husband isn't home or when he's sleeping because he sort of has a similar problem, like wanting me to break down every box or and mash the milk jugs before they go in the garbage, but he has a germ phobia, so once something goes in the garbage, he won't dig it back out again to "do it right."
@@susanmiller4159 like the "arrange the trunk for vacation" power surge dads get.
@@pkmcnett5649 Absolutely!
You are amazing in how you help us to understand. I feel sorry for those who ridicule others. Shame on them. No one lives like this because they choose. You and Jason are a blessing. Thank you!
Thank you for giving Remi Clog a helping shout out !!!
Once again, educating your followers helps so many people understand the psychology of hoarding. Thank you and another great job. So glad you are keeping the black mold for the professionals. Although the moose idea has merit.
I've always appreciated that in every single video, without fail, you stand up for those with mental illness and how you won't tolerate people who say they're just "lazy." It's part of the reason I always go to your channel and respect it so much. The other reason is the endless dad jokes 😂
That floor is in astonishingly good condition considering the depth of the trash strata. Pity about the black mold, but at least it's not rotting at every seam.
And props to the owner for letting you throw everything away. That's very hopeful for a better future.
Oh my, I'm so glad they asked for help and acknowledged the problem, and the process of cleaning it up. Mack, I hope your burnout gets better soon. Much love sent to you from Georgia
This is your best video yet!! Wow.. not just from a cleaning/transformational perspective but the way you explain ADHD and empathy so articulately. It was like i was in therapy and a philosophy class at the same time. All whilst being injured and going through burnout.. bravo my friends ❤
Yes 💯 agree with you
I'm a new sub and also a HUGE Therm fan--I'm his mom! 😊 What you do for people is amazing. Best of luck to you in your quest for 1 million!
Teaching empathy. That was powerful 🥰
His voice is just so soothing and entertaining to listen to.
Love his voice! His sense of humor! Everything!
Damn that must be why I keep falling asleep every night to this guys videos 😂 definitely soothing
My sister first turned me onto your videos. I have ADHD and never realized my cleaning issues were caused by it.
She went from blaming me being lazy and what not to understanding why it's the way it is. I've even learned more about my disorder from you and I was diagnosed when I was 15. Now I'm 45.
I want to thank you for helping others without certain disorders to understand why it's not completely our fault and why it's hard to ask for help.
It is like moving a mountain with a teaspoon! I am proud of you guys and your dedication to this work and making the world better.
First, thank you for your compassion for the people in this situation. Second, I know someone whose home is hoarded. What I find odd is she acts like it is normal. She never even says “excuse the mess.” I would love to help her, but the situation is beyond just me. I just don’t know where to start, other than someday gently saying that this is not a normal way to live, and when she is ready, I will try to help.
I can't believe how good that floor looked when you were done. I was sure it would be destroyed, at least in parts. But, I guess you were right, the piles of clothing helped absorb all the rotting stuff. It looks amazing. You can look at the before pics and see that someone once cared about their home. Look at the cute furniture, shelving and nic nacs. They once took care of it. Hopefully they will now be able to get the mold, etc., fixed because of your kindness, and come back to the home they once loved. I'm glad you do shout outs of the youtubers you enjoy following. That's how I found Bonnie, Barbie, Mira, Ari, etc. Not sure who came first but, I'm glad to hear the shout outs because I've now found many that I enjoy following, and seeing all the good work you all do for others. It's very special what you do. Thank you for your generosity of helping those who cannot help themselves. :)
The very first study I participated in college in was tracking and documenting a schizophrenic woman who happened to have an alcohol and hoarding disorder. This place reminds me of my project with Dr. Cohen. I had to follow this woman around and observe what she collected and brought back to her apartment. Man, I’m getting some flashbacks. lol
That's fascinating. What kind of things did she bring home? Did she have a preference for certain items, or was it just whatever caught her fancy at the moment?
That sounds exploitative as fuck dude
@@cecilyerker she gave us permission and there was no misconduct. A lot is learned about human behavior through research.
@@tamaratamtammorris8151 she had no rhyme or reason to what she collected. She actually had only picked up about 10 different items but I remember her collecting a gum wrapper and I told my prof about it. He said I was to be careful about imposing my ideas about what and wasn’t of value. I learned it’s not about the stuff so much but rather, what kind of anxiety is relieved by the obsessive and compulsive behavior of collecting
@@cecilyerker you know nothing about it. What, you think mental illness shouldn’t be studied? I guess we should just never learn anything