I have ALWAYS been a hoarder, even as a small child. I'm 71 years old now and Not a Single Person understands me, except you. Not only have I always saved everything, I now have a new issue....I can't throw away any of the Amazon and Walmart boxes. I have mostly empty boxes stacked to the ceiling. Every time I try to watch one of your videos, I just start to cry and I usually can't finish watching. But, for the first time in my life, I want to clean up this mess because I think to myself that if I die soon, a stranger who doesn't understand me will have to go through my stuff and they will just throw everything away. And that just breaks my heart! Thank you for your videos. I hope you know how much they mean to people like me!! Wish me luck!!!
I was saving all my boxes but I made myself put them outside by my trash can on rainy days so they weren't any good. It hurt a lot but after they are gone it gets better. I'm 62 and have been a hoarder since my late teens.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with that. As someone who also struggles with hoarding, and specifically struggles with hoarding cardboard boxes, i know how hard it can be to get rid of them. I don't know if this would help, but I finally sorted through the boxes while i was moving and only kept the ones that were in the best shape and were very sturdy. it was hard to recycle the rest (especially since it took a few weeks of trash pick ups to get them all out), but I'm so happy i did it. Sending you strength! ♥️
You should be proud of yourself for identifying that you have an issue and wanting to do something about it. There's nothing wrong with you and you're not broken. Please remember that as I think a lot of people with disorders believe that they are broken and unlovable. You're a struggling human who needs support and time and love. Time to give love to yourself and look after yourself and your living space. You can do it. Baby steps. I'm not a hoarder but have hoarding tendencies and it's sooo hard for me to let go of anything. Even boxes. Like you. But we deserve to occupy our spaces, not let our stuff take those spaces away from us. Sending love and best wishes x
Thank you, Mack, for doing this. It's so weird to see my video be narrated by you and have such good information. Do you want to narrate all of my videos? 😂 Thanks again for coming up with this win-win situation.
Thanks so much Bonnie, and Mira, and Mack for sharing this collab video, such a great idea. You're amazing, and what you do is so helpful for people like us ❤
You're an incredibly smart, and kind, woman to allow Mack to narrate!! We get to see your wonderful work while Mack tackles the difficulties of helping a hoarder and Mira generously opens her home and heart so that we can truly understand how DIFFICULT the work actually is!! THANK YOU for sharing your talents!
@@DanaWilson-qf9rrJust watched Barbie's new video. She's incredible! Just checked in to watch extra at Mack's and surprise, Bonnie and Mack are incredible too, this is something! Bonus on sneak peak at Mira's too!
Bonnie I so feel your pain with the falling boxes 😂😂😂 I was helping a friend today who has been doing really well downsizing her shoe hoard. But that leaves us with dozens & dozens of empty towers of shoe boxes. By the end of the afternoon I was ready to scream 😱 if one more fell over, ugh!!!
I can do a major cleaning just by putting everything in containers but that doesn't seem to work. When I start using some stuff from container. Need some one else to keep me focused and decide what needs to go. I'm happy that the stuff is not broken and there's no food or anything else to bring in roaches or mice 😊
I was adopted as an infant to a family that had that generational hoarding thing, but I came from a long line of neatniks, so my entire life has been an inner battle. It never occurred to me until finding your channel that hoarding is just as much a genetic as behavioural trauma-related. I'm still working on it. Thank you.
I don't think that the hoarding is genetic as much as the tendency to depression that causes the behavior. They could just as easily have a problem with alcohol or gambling to soothe themselves. I wish I knew what factor turns a person into a hoarder instead of a drunk. I think one of the common factors is loss in early life or extreme deprivation.
@@erynlasgalen1949 you could very well be right. I have MDD, and it takes everything in me to not live like they did. I think it's a combo of genetics, physical, and learned, but I could be completely wrong.
@@erynlasgalen1949 Depression and hoarding disorder both run in my family- my sister and I both acquired the first, but only I acquired the second. I promise I don’t have hoarding disorder secondary to depression alone, it is WAY more complicated than that. In my experience/observation, generally comes from insecurity of some sort- scarcity really screws with your brain over time, whether that scarcity applies to bodily and/or psychological safety, food, or housing. You’re totally right that substance abuse could just as easily become the problem instead of or alongside hoarding.
MIra is really doing an amazing job! I can't believe the progress she's made. She's really a great example of how much one shelf at a time makes a difference.
I have helped a friend with a hoarded house. We managed to make a lot of progress. I think watching Aurikatariina, you, Bonnie and Barbie as well as Dana K White meant that I knew we could tackle almost anything given enough time, and make it better. It started off with me asking her if I could come over and clean her bathroom. I knew it was full of black mould, and I think she'd mentioned it was quite bad. I offered a few times and she said that sounded good, so I came over 1 day and that was the start! This turned into a whole apartment clean and declutter over a few months. We threw out TONNES of rubbish, old food, mouldy clothing etc. I think it worked because all I did was say can we find rubbish and throw it away. We werent decluttering or "getting rid of things" to begin with - just rubbish that she decided was rubbish. She also did declutter as well but we just focussed on looking for rubbish most of the time because there was so much of it that this made a huge difference and we just skipped any hard decisions so that it wasnt too emotional We both found it tiring but satisfying. We went from little trails between big piles and a clothing pile as tall as me (almost all mouldy) to clear spaces and seeing walls! Which were black, and we got back to cream/white 🎉 She knows I will help her whenever she wants, or just hang out and drink tea in whatever conditions exist there. She's a fantastic friend and that's the most important thing
@mankymcmank I had a lot of fun too. Can you imagine how cool it is to turn a wall that is black with mould into a clean cream wall? 🥰 plus we drank a lot of tea, which is the best
Your last paragraph in your story really moves me. The fact that you see past your friend's situation & only see how great a friend she is. We all long for a friend like you. Many blessings to you...
I hope your wife is doing Ok ! Grateful that you still put up this video for us , with all that’s going on in your life. It was a great idea to narrate this video because you understand hoarding so well
One thing I really appreciate about this channel, is that it not only normalizes the homes of people who need help, but NORMAL homes. It is so mentally exhausting seeing all of these "perfect" houses online. It develops into shame for me quite frequently. But I have to remember, this is a HOME, not a performance. *EDIT: In no way am I judging those who keep their homes in pristine condition. There is no denying that there is pressure online to have a perfect, spotless, beige and white home. I do clean and decorate just like any average person. NOT sure why people need to argue for no reason, especially on a channel like this 🙃
Some of Mira's place is from when she moved into this house. We've done the same thing when we moved. Things from old house didn't go with current house. Took awhile to unpack the extra boxes inbetween it all. New place needed new storage solutions. Can completely relate.
I am the hoarder and just listening to videos helps me. It’s like talking to my counselor for a week session thank you you motivate me and allow me to look into my head
This is a really creative way of working with your burnout and limitations brought on by life circumstances. While you're not the one recording, your input and voice and editing still make this video what it is!
Oh Mack , Mira is going to get a chuckle from you saying she was a pro-wrestler. TY for the voiceover on this video. You bring a much needed voice to all the hoarders and near hoarders out there. Hugs to you Emily and family, as well as Bonnie, Mira and her boys.
I had to go back and look because I thought it was just hanging there and I wanted somebody to go get some wallpaper paste. When I went back and looked that’s a piece of slanted wall ceiling weird construction.
My friend and I were at a cleaning job and my friend tried pasting the wallpaper with a little tube that turned out to be oragel😂 the tubes were so similar!
I’m fortunately not a hoarder, but I do have trouble tossing things with potential because I’m an artist and a crafter. And since I don’t have a disorder stopping me, I have actually done what you wanted to do, said to myself, “Oh, so you’re gonna make something from it? Okay, put it on the desk, it’s the next project.” This helps me clear out some things through donation… admitting I won’t do it… or through finally finishing the project. A few still end up sitting but I caught up a lot. Also, dang that was a nice room under there.
I wish I had had all your wisdom 30 years ago. We just didn't know about this stuff then. "Mom, it's not fair to make me grieve for you after you pass and go through all this at the same time!" It wasn't fair, and I'm still angry despite all I know now. I could have helped her so much more than I did if I had had a clue that this is a true illness. Every word you say is absolutely true. I got a lifetime of the three excuses: "I'm going through that," "I just bought that," "I neeed that." Thanks for all you do.
Thank you for covering this topic. I work with hoarders, and these are all great tips for anyone trying to understand a hoarder or gain knowledge before working with one. They deserve our patience and respect, just like anyone else struggling with any other disease/condition/affliction.
I never saw myself as a hoarder until I saw the massive amount of books in this video. I've decided to have a clear out of mine tomorrow (it's 8.59pm just now) and only keep my favourites. Hope I can keep this promise to myself. Great video again. P.S. It's now the next day (6.21pm) and I binned some that were too tatty to pass on, put some by for a bookie friend, and most of what was left is now boxed up for a local charity shop. I only have eight left which I'll keep - for now. Well worth the effort.
Cheering you on! I used to hoard books until I had to move house a couple times and my back was like please... less boxes of books... I offered the books I was giving away to friends and mutual friends first, and personally delivered them. The leftovers I donated. The gratitude people show for the books you probably will not read a second time helps take away the sting of sizing down the library. 🌿
Good luck. Even if you donated/sold some, then you could get rid of more at a later date. I did this. My rationale was, I only read books once so what's the point in having heavy items that just collect dust and take up space. In the end I got rid of everyone of them!! The only books I keep now are children's books for my granddaughters. I regularly cull those books when they're no longer age appropriate too. You can do it. Put your thoughts into action.
I really admire Mira. It takes a lot of guts and gumption to face her situation head-on and tackle it. You are all the most excellent humans and I’m grateful to be subscribed to your channels.
Bonnie is such a hero! This is a great way to assist Mack in getting content and still post videos while he is actually busy helping his wife deal with recovering and dealing with surgery #2. This is perfection!
Is it just me or did all y'all feel the impact of this video like I did? We have an Organizer, a Narrator and a Home Owner participating in a clean up like no other I've seen. Everyone included gave at least 💯% and the results speak for themselves. That office is so beautiful and can be used for office activities for years to come! Thanks for putting this out there, Mack. Bonnie... YOU ROCK!!! 💖 Mira, You my dear are both brave and blessed! 😇 PS: Give Emily my best wishes! 🙏
I watch Mira, too. She's really progressing towards her goals. Like she has said... sometimes you have to stop and do something else for a bit before you go back to it so you don't get completely overwhelmed and go backwards!
All of the books store nicely on the shelves seems like there was a time that things were good for this person. Can’t family try to help by getting mental help for the person?
@@katjoy9921 she's been doing a lot on her own with bonnie coming in to tackle some of the more overwhelming areas here and there. she has medical issues that prevent her from being able to do too much at once and it happened because of medical issues + depression + just too much stuff. she has family and friends who have helped here and there but was afraid to reach out for help. her mess is also a lot different from other hoarders in that it's a pretty clean mess - mostly just a lot of stuff and not a lot of damage and food and the like. mira is also a recycler so lots of cardboard boxes/ water bottles piling up and the like. it's been taking a while for her to get through because she's decluttering as she goes
Thank you for your wonderfully concise wording in explaining hoarding syndrome. These are things I never thought of, and now I want to go back and redo the clean-out I had to do with my mother’s house when she moved to a small retirement apartment. There was so much I didn’t understand.
You always give us channel recommendations, so I'll give you one I enjoy. It's called The Carla Project. I love the episodes she does with her sister because they often deal with that tension of wanting to keep clutter with humor and it comes across as very relatable.
Thank you for mentioning the 'trauma switch.' I cared for my hoarding folks for 12 years. Now that they are gone, I'm finding emotionally, after clearing stuff, I need time off to adjust and deal with the feels this brings up. Even feeling guilty for reclaiming space to have a safe life. Your videos keep helping me understand why my folks got this way, and how I need to keep working at it, bit by bit, and not be mad at myself when I need an emotional break.
I helped some friends awhile back to declutter a hoarded garage. Not to my OCD crazy standard but we got it to a point where they could have put vehicles inside. A month later it was completely full again. It must have felt like a jigsaw puzzle with a missing piece. Their brains just couldn't stand the hole.
I've noticed that in shopping carts. If I run into the grocery store only intending to buy a few things, but I end up with a large-run shopping cart, it will magically fill itself with all sorts of things I think I need (but actually have spares of at home). I've learned to always get a smaller cart, even if I end up overflowing it.
I love your compassion! Cardboard boxes are the bane of my existence-when I finally got them cleared out my house, I refuse to let them hang out anymore: within 10 minutes of receipt, they’re opened, broke down, and tossed/composted.
I hoard them, but just NOW, reading your comment, and thinking--what do you put donations in?--I realized that there's nothing wrong with putting donations in a reusable plastic bin to take them to the donation center. I'm going to go break down boxes now and take them to the recycling today.
@@karenflynn6589 I also hoarded boxes for a couple of years, because I knew we had to move and I didn't want to buy a lot of boxes. The only thing that this made was delay the boxing up process, having to get boxes anyway AND having to throw away tons of paper trash too. Only few of the boxes became useful in the move.
Mack, I am so glad you did the narration on this one, you have a soothing no bs way of addressing the moose in the room. Hoarders need help and often have a hard time asking for help. Thank you for all you and Bonnie do to help hoarders. Bonnie is a true friend! Praying for you, Emily and Filth. Take Care xoxo
I am so sick and tired of animals not helping out during the cleaning and organizing! You'd think they could at least flatten boxes, but no, they just walk around looking adorable during the process.
On the You Tube Channel of ''A Hoarder's Heart'' you can learn a lot about hoarding from the hoarder's perspective. She started with a square foot at a time asking herself what she could throw away (not what she wanted to keep). At first, it was only a few scrap of paper (ex: candy wrapper).She made a lot of progress since then. I recommend watching her videos from the start.
I offered to help a friend with whatever she needed and she said her kitchen. I almost threw up when I went in there. What you do is unbelievably brave.
If it was the smell, next time put Vicks salve at the base of your nose and wear a mask. It helps, I take care of my 88 yr old dad so I’m aware of smells 😂
I finally got rid of the absolute last of my hoard a month ago. Only things that are used are left in my rooms besides one corner of one bedroom has totes I'm going to go through and make disappear after I heal from my surgery I go in for next week. It's a feeling of absolute relief. I have no desire to go back to it. I don't buy junk anymore and all my trash goes out weekly. You can get through it. I wont say it's easy by no means but it can be done. But trying to force is a definite opposite effect to what you want to happen.
As I worked on my spaces, I experienced periods of grief when I acknowledged that there were things that I would never do. I had items from old hobbies that represented past friendships and projects that I meticulously planned and never carried out. Sometimes I felt like a failure for “giving up”. I feel stronger for going through the process, but there’s still a sense of loss.
One funny thing I learned about people (me) who can't settle into one thing and have to have lots of options - choosing one path leads to the death of all the other potential paths out there. It can get to the point where you end up in decision paralysis because you don't want to feel any of that loss - it's like a small death when you lose the choices.
Here's me, taking a break from my desk where I'm working on completing decades old college work that will now never be graded, for a career I can no longer physically do, because that's quicker and easier than going through the mental processes that would enable me to just put it in the trash undone 😅
Boy can I relate! I feel guilt due to “wasting materials” and “so much money” on those materials. And I get anxious thinking I just threw something away that I’m going to need in the future. It’s so difficult changing the way I look at things and at 65 I’m not as optimistic as I should be about being able to change.❤
@@magpiesmith971I try to look at it as my „rental fee“ that I paid for having use of the stuff. I paid the money, the books/hobby material etc was in my house to use if I felt like it, and now I am ending the „rental period“. It‘s still hard to let go but at least for me that concept makes it easier.
I think whats so impressive to me is that Bonnie can take that desk covered in so many items and clear it off bu seemingly just reorganizing and putting things nicely into boxes. Its amazing how just condensing items into a more organized storage can open up a space to me.
Mira is a sweet lady. I like her videos where she’s cleared an area and redecorates with a few new items. I like that she treats herself for her progress. ❤️
I've seen all of your videos but this is my first comment. I also watch Aurikaterina, Barbie, and Bonnie when I have time. That said... This was an awesome collaboration between you and Bonnie!! You are a clear, concise speaker who explains and educates in a no-nonsense but empathetic way and without judgment. Bonnie's messages are similar but she's a more hesitant speaker. Her super power is the organizing work itself. Watching her work with your voice over was a treat. The stretches of time between narration segments allowed time to reflect on what you said while appreciating Bonnie's process and progress along with some ASMR. Altogether so well done! I also think this kind of collaboration is a great way for you to support each other. Can we please have some more collaboration videos sometime? Thanks! 😊
So kind of you to be such a supportive friend to Bonnie! Watching this, it's clear to see that Bonnie has built up a trust and friendship with Mira, which is really making a difference in Mira's life. Only a really special person has that kind of patience. Bravo!
Seriously, thank you so much for sharing these videos and giving the best advice I have ever heard. As someone that has struggled with mental health, late diagnosed audhd, and generational hording problems, listening to your advice has even helped me. It has helped me so much with recognizing things even within myself that I didn't understand. I remember talking to people about getting help with getting caught up and decluttered. I have also had people "help" in the past, or tried to help others. I know understand why even I responded badly to help that even my husband was providing without even knowing why. It now makes so much more sense.
I have 2 friends who are struggling with mild hoarding tendencies and have opened up to their feelings of shame and the criticism they’ve received from family. I am hoping to help them organize in the loving judgement free way you and Bonnie show. Thanks for the inspiration and education on this struggle.
Now you've done it. I need to get some art made about my clutter wrestling career. 😂 Thank you so much for sharing your insight on this type of cleaning. I have uploaded my video about the spareroom cleanup. I appreciate you!
there’s a book called Buried in Treasures and the local public health department ran a 16 week study group on that book. They explored the cognitive distortions around the attachments to the clutter. They did thought experiments where you allowed yourself to temporarily give up certain items to see what would happen and how you would feel. It turns out the urgency and anxiety can go down. They also worked with the impulsiveness in acquiring things, over buying, or collecting free items from the street. It can be very traumatizing to take away a person’s things by force, or when they are in the hospital. The roots of this behavior can also be trauma, so people need compassion and understanding to help with this situation, not shaming and disgust. Thank you 🙏 and Barbie for your support and help and education of this issue 😢❤😊
I really wish I could have heard your reasoning about hoarding disorder sooner. After Mum died, Dad became a compulsive amazon shopper and hoarder. I hope we dealt with it sensitively, but it would have been easier if I’d had your insight into it. Eventually he went into a lovely care home and understood that he could not take everything with him. He asked us to donate the rest. we spent many days decluttering his flat.
There are people in my family with hoarding tendencies. So to help I have got things grouped together and presented them all together (e.g. All the socks on the bed) to show the scale of the issue and to help cut it down. Sorting into piles of odd socks (pointless so throw away), with holes (can also go), winter, short etc. That seems to work well to cut it down - I also find it helps to start with more impersonal items like socks to get them "in the flow" of throwing things away before moving on to more sentimental sections We then have a cathartic trip to the charity shop or tip to get rid of the stuff the same or next day!
Sadly my next door neighbor died in a fire five feet from her door with her stuff piled to the ceiling on both sides of the path she was laying in. So glad Mira has you and Barbie to help!
Thank you to everyone who worked on this video. The voice over was such a beautiful, empathetic description of some practical considerations to help our fellow humans on this planet. ❤
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! For all the work you are doing and all the explanation you are giving! I was hoping to find the answers ... Now the hard lesson of patience ...
I had a horribly bad medication hoard. I could feel a lot of my anxiety actually leave my body when we burned it all in our fire pit. I would never have been able to do that without watching these channels. Thank you so much.
100% everything you say. I went through this with my best friend. 10 months of weekends filled with sadness, reminiscence, frustration, humour, lots of wine and cursing (sometimes at her son, who is a hilarious wind-up merchant arsehole, sometimes at each other, but mainly at how ridiculous the mess was). When we speak now she mentions it now and again and says she'd never have let anyone else in to help and I take that as a compliment; she knew it needed fixed but was ashamed and really didn't need someone pushy giving her grief. She has done really well to keep it in a manageable state since then. I do believe if we'd rushed it rather than working through it patiently and taking frequent (wine!) breaks when it go too much (for both of us) it would have done more harm than good.
This is such a great video. Seeing a legitimate hoarder making so much progress that she invites and allows an extreme cleaner in, and getting to watch a skilled cleaner and organizer in an environment that needs her, all with informative insightful narration by another skilled extreme cleaner. This is an educational video in multiple ways.
27:32 Wow, once again, I saw myself in your description of a hoarders mind. I have a woman helping me clean. But first, I have to go through the area and remove the 'trash'. That way she will just clean. Usually, I will even empty the trash. One time, I forgot, and when I saw the empty trash can, I spent days wondering what might have been in it. I didn't tell her, but she must have sensed it,, because the next time she cleaned, she would show me a trash can before she emptied it, asking if I wanted her to. I still remember the necklace I wore for my wedding fifty years ago. I safely wrapped it in a tissue and placed it by the bed on my honeymoon. My new husband felt it was necessary to clean for the maid and threw it away. It was a potential heirloom for my future daughter. Thank you for making hoarding make sense. A couple neighbor ladies offered to come help me de clutter. I felt immediate panic, and realized that I could not handle the stress of monitoring two people at once.i agreed if they would come one at a time.
I was fortunate enough to afford working with a professional organizer and she was life-changing for me. She never pushed me to get rid of things, she often encouraged me to think about an item for a bit before making a decision. She was so uplifting and positive and made it so much easier for me. I’m profoundly grateful for Aimee and always will be.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE how the clean for free community support one another. I’ve been with you since the beginning and have since started following 5-6 others. You’re always giving shout outs to one another and here you are doing a voice over for Bonnie! Well done as always Bonnie!
Thank you for all that you do! I just spent a week trying to get my kitchen cleaned. I suffer from depression and I have just found out that procrastination is a deression response to external pressure when I have no way to process it. I just finally started today and then we ran out of hot water! Crazy sauce! I love your stories and lack of blaming! That is a good place to begin healing.
Mira has been a rock star in decluttering and Bonnie has been so wonderful to be the Energizer bunny for her. Sometimes it seems to be forgotten that folks in this position have some serious health issues that limit their energy. What an excellent job of explaining the details of the organizing/cleaning. Progress, not perfection. I am sending the good thoughts and prayers for you and Emily, Mack. Hope all concerned are better soon.❤❤❤
What an amazing way for Bonnie and Mira's videos to reach more people! By you sharing one of Bonnie's videos, it shows even more how much you want to help people and how much you care about others.
As always, everything you've said about handling hoarders is spot on. My parents home has gotten to the point that their lights flicker, they have broken plumbing, large parts of the floors have rotted, and rodent droppings are easily seen. They have 2 bathrooms, and the shower in one is completely unusable. I've *done* the routine of cleaning/reorganizing/remodeling for them. It doesn't work. I got blamed, gaslit, accused of going behind their backs, even when I did everything in front of them. It truly is maddening. I've gotten to the point I can't help them anymore. They're in their 70's, and have been hoarders since before I was born, so I grew up in conditions that looked identical to this video. It's heartbreaking, because I do want to help. I don't want to see my parents living like that. But they won't accept help. For a hoarder, being willing and emotionally able to ask for and accept help is *HUGE*.
🌪 there's Bonnie!!!❤😂 Thanks for taking the time to do this whilst so much going on at home with Emily. You are a blessing to so many people!! Take time to take care of yourself too, Mac! 💛💜
I follow all of you and Bonnie is exactly the right person to help Mira. Her organisation skills are second to none and she has the patience of a saint. Mira decided to declutter her house quite a while ago so, as you said, she is mentally prepared for positive change. However, her health really does restrict what she can do so I'm really pleased Bonnie has helped her on a number of occasions. I hope Emily is ok. I've lost track of time, has she had her op done yet? The last trip was very stressful for you all. I wish her all the best and a speedy recovery.
This advice was really helpful as we are going to our first hoarder house in September, she was offered help by social services but they wanted to go in and throw everything away! I feel more mentally prepared now that I've listened to your ted talk 😂 x
Awesome collaboration. Mira is making so much great progress with help from you and Bonnie. Also love your explanations and insights. It really boils down to respecting the person as an individual first and not just as a problem that needs fixing. Something that seems to be an afterthought more and more in the world around us. Wishing the best to all of you as you each work through your struggles.❤
Your explanations are excellent, that's why I come back to your channel over and over. That's also why I share your channel with others particularly those that deal with the issues you speak about either themselves or a family member or friend. Thanks for always making excellent videos. ❤
Huge progress at Mira's. Looks great! Mack, when you talked about making a birdhouse from scrap wood, it reminded me of something the Minimal Mom says about our real self and our fantasy self. It's our famtasy self that thinks we are going to use all of the scrap wood, the fancy entertainment dishes when people come over, etc. It's a good way to explain ❤
Except we really really want to use the fancy dishes because people we know have used fancy dishes when we are their guests. We want that admiration too.
@@marywiggins7411 Not everyone. :) I bought 1 full set of dishes and 1 full set of flatware that are timeless, resist breakage, and are light weight for when I get old. I use them year round..even with guests. Table linens and centerpieces can be changed to make it fancy.
@mrseliephant good for you! I was merely agreeing that from my personal experience I acquire dishes because I want that experience, which can be a symptom of 'fantasy self' from hoarding. Once we fix the major issue, there can be a happy medium - we deserve pretty if that is what we want from that experience. I have many friends that I would like to return the favor and have to my house to entertain.
@@marywiggins7411 I use my fancy dishes on myself! Guests too, obviously, but it's good to feel fancy. I have beautiful plates I see every day and they make me smile even on the draining board.
Big thanks to Bonnie for helping Mack out with this video. I need my husband to listen to this narration. As much as I'm not a hoarder, I demonstrate many of the behaviours you have described and it causes a lot of conflict.
I heard you mention that therapy for the hoarder is highly recommended, and I agree. I am currently acting as the organizer for a hoarder in my life whom I care about, but I'll admit that sometimes it's hard and frustrating. We've built a lot of trust during this process and made a lot of progress but it has been slow. I was wondering if there is a support group or community for the organizer in these situations?
Thanks for sharing your expertise on how to approach this. I’ve heard some people say that the best way to help (and prove that you really do just want to help) is by offering to work on the dishes and the laundry. Not always possible in the worst houses I’ve seen on here, the ones with no water, but for many people it’s the thing that they need constant help with so they can start the harder process of going through the hoard.
What a combo, thanks guys for the joint encounter. Amazing result as usual for Bonnie, it just amazes me how quickly she can sort, clear and categorise the jumble. Mira and her fur babies are cute and was that Bonnies son?. Thanks Mac hope all going well in your world. Stay well all 💚🐝
This was fun! Bonnie cleaning/Mack voice over Although I may have missed Bonnie’s calming voice and you spin kicking moose a bit. But seriously, I love anything you both put out. Love you guys! ❤❤
I love how Bonnie keeps adjusting and reorganizing! Thank you for the tips. I have cleaned up 2 hoarded house after someone passes. I wish I knew how to help before this happened
I really appreciate the way you talk about Hoarding and people with that disorder! Very compassionate and understanding that it is an Disorder and steamrolling them might fight the symptom but doesn't touch the real cause. Thats why I hated shows like "Hoarders" that looked down on these people and got annoyed when they got overwhelmed and angry.
8:06 This piece of advice is going to heal families. I will show them this video next monday. It was done out of love, and don't know why there is a void right now. It's like grieving. Thank you!!!
This really touched upon some of my problems I now realize I am a hoarder of fabric and yarn. I have parted with some and have made a dent in using some mostly for charity projects. Thanks for the eye opener
I have ALWAYS been a hoarder, even as a small child. I'm 71 years old now and Not a Single Person understands me, except you. Not only have I always saved everything, I now have a new issue....I can't throw away any of the Amazon and Walmart boxes. I have mostly empty boxes stacked to the ceiling. Every time I try to watch one of your videos, I just start to cry and I usually can't finish watching. But, for the first time in my life, I want to clean up this mess because I think to myself that if I die soon, a stranger who doesn't understand me will have to go through my stuff and they will just throw everything away. And that just breaks my heart! Thank you for your videos. I hope you know how much they mean to people like me!! Wish me luck!!!
I was saving all my boxes but I made myself put them outside by my trash can on rainy days so they weren't any good. It hurt a lot but after they are gone it gets better. I'm 62 and have been a hoarder since my late teens.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with that. As someone who also struggles with hoarding, and specifically struggles with hoarding cardboard boxes, i know how hard it can be to get rid of them. I don't know if this would help, but I finally sorted through the boxes while i was moving and only kept the ones that were in the best shape and were very sturdy. it was hard to recycle the rest (especially since it took a few weeks of trash pick ups to get them all out), but I'm so happy i did it. Sending you strength! ♥️
You should be proud of yourself for identifying that you have an issue and wanting to do something about it. There's nothing wrong with you and you're not broken. Please remember that as I think a lot of people with disorders believe that they are broken and unlovable. You're a struggling human who needs support and time and love. Time to give love to yourself and look after yourself and your living space. You can do it. Baby steps. I'm not a hoarder but have hoarding tendencies and it's sooo hard for me to let go of anything. Even boxes. Like you. But we deserve to occupy our spaces, not let our stuff take those spaces away from us. Sending love and best wishes x
@SandiRose2008 good luck and strength sent to you. ❤
Check out A Hoarders Heart! She's a hoarder as wrll who is slowly working through everything in her house
Mira’s house, Bonnie cleaning, and Mack narrating! A trifecta of awesomeness! That looks so nice!
My thoughts as well!
I thought the same thing
Came to the comments to say that! 😊
100% THiS!
Gorgeous makeover.😊❤
Thank you, Mack, for doing this. It's so weird to see my video be narrated by you and have such good information. Do you want to narrate all of my videos? 😂 Thanks again for coming up with this win-win situation.
Thanks so much Bonnie, and Mira, and Mack for sharing this collab video, such a great idea. You're amazing, and what you do is so helpful for people like us ❤
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You're an incredibly smart, and kind, woman to allow Mack to narrate!! We get to see your wonderful work while Mack tackles the difficulties of helping a hoarder and Mira generously opens her home and heart so that we can truly understand how DIFFICULT the work actually is!! THANK YOU for sharing your talents!
I hope you're feeling a little better now Bonnie after the hard time you were going through
Mira, bonnie, AND midwest magic?? is this freaking endgame?
Don’t forget Barbie
Colt and Clay the inspectors too! A welcome surprise! (From Mira's Peeling Away the Clutter channel!)
@@DanaWilson-qf9rrJust watched Barbie's new video. She's incredible! Just checked in to watch extra at Mack's and surprise, Bonnie and Mack are incredible too, this is something! Bonus on sneak peak at Mira's too!
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LITERALLY
Bonnie’s warm personality is perfect for helping a hoarder who has decided to reduce the clutter in her life.
Bonnie I so feel your pain with the falling boxes 😂😂😂 I was helping a friend today who has been doing really well downsizing her shoe hoard. But that leaves us with dozens & dozens of empty towers of shoe boxes. By the end of the afternoon I was ready to scream 😱 if one more fell over, ugh!!!
Do you know anyone that can help me out? I'm in Florida Gulf Coast side. Crystal River area?
I can do a major cleaning just by putting everything in containers but that doesn't seem to work. When I start using some stuff from container. Need some one else to keep me focused and decide what needs to go. I'm happy that the stuff is not broken and there's no food or anything else to bring in roaches or mice 😊
@@dawnyoung4635Sadly , roaches and mice don't seem to need food to be attracted ... The cluttered space attracts them , I think ??
@@maureensamson4863 water moisture and glue(boxes) . Wire coating. These are the harvest tables lol for mice and roaches.
I was adopted as an infant to a family that had that generational hoarding thing, but I came from a long line of neatniks, so my entire life has been an inner battle. It never occurred to me until finding your channel that hoarding is just as much a genetic as behavioural trauma-related.
I'm still working on it.
Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your story. Seeing things from both sides must be a plus/minus. God bless you and best of everything to you.
Thank you for sharing your story. Seeing things from both sides must be a plus/minus. God bless you and best of everything to you.
I don't think that the hoarding is genetic as much as the tendency to depression that causes the behavior. They could just as easily have a problem with alcohol or gambling to soothe themselves. I wish I knew what factor turns a person into a hoarder instead of a drunk. I think one of the common factors is loss in early life or extreme deprivation.
@@erynlasgalen1949 you could very well be right. I have MDD, and it takes everything in me to not live like they did. I think it's a combo of genetics, physical, and learned, but I could be completely wrong.
@@erynlasgalen1949 Depression and hoarding disorder both run in my family- my sister and I both acquired the first, but only I acquired the second. I promise I don’t have hoarding disorder secondary to depression alone, it is WAY more complicated than that.
In my experience/observation, generally comes from insecurity of some sort- scarcity really screws with your brain over time, whether that scarcity applies to bodily and/or psychological safety, food, or housing. You’re totally right that substance abuse could just as easily become the problem instead of or alongside hoarding.
MIra is really doing an amazing job! I can't believe the progress she's made. She's really a great example of how much one shelf at a time makes a difference.
I was going to say that some of the shelves with VHS tapes are pristine, but the desk area clearly hadn’t been gotten to, yet.
@@annoravetz5188Too bad you had to include the "but...". The first part of your comment was encouraging! The rest was unnecessary, Captain Obvious. 😊
I have helped a friend with a hoarded house. We managed to make a lot of progress. I think watching Aurikatariina, you, Bonnie and Barbie as well as Dana K White meant that I knew we could tackle almost anything given enough time, and make it better.
It started off with me asking her if I could come over and clean her bathroom. I knew it was full of black mould, and I think she'd mentioned it was quite bad. I offered a few times and she said that sounded good, so I came over 1 day and that was the start!
This turned into a whole apartment clean and declutter over a few months. We threw out TONNES of rubbish, old food, mouldy clothing etc.
I think it worked because all I did was say can we find rubbish and throw it away. We werent decluttering or "getting rid of things" to begin with - just rubbish that she decided was rubbish. She also did declutter as well but we just focussed on looking for rubbish most of the time because there was so much of it that this made a huge difference and we just skipped any hard decisions so that it wasnt too emotional
We both found it tiring but satisfying. We went from little trails between big piles and a clothing pile as tall as me (almost all mouldy) to clear spaces and seeing walls! Which were black, and we got back to cream/white 🎉
She knows I will help her whenever she wants, or just hang out and drink tea in whatever conditions exist there. She's a fantastic friend and that's the most important thing
YOU are the fantastic friend 😘 We all need a friend like you in our lives.
@firehorse9996 aww thankyou, but she's done a lot for me too! It's definitely 2 sided.
On behalf of your friend, thank you so much. You are a wonderful human 🙏
@mankymcmank I had a lot of fun too. Can you imagine how cool it is to turn a wall that is black with mould into a clean cream wall? 🥰 plus we drank a lot of tea, which is the best
Your last paragraph in your story really moves me. The fact that you see past your friend's situation & only see how great a friend she is. We all long for a friend like you. Many blessings to you...
I hope your wife is doing Ok ! Grateful that you still put up this video for us , with all that’s going on in your life. It was a great idea to narrate this video because you understand hoarding so well
One thing I really appreciate about this channel, is that it not only normalizes the homes of people who need help, but NORMAL homes. It is so mentally exhausting seeing all of these "perfect" houses online. It develops into shame for me quite frequently. But I have to remember, this is a HOME, not a performance.
*EDIT: In no way am I judging those who keep their homes in pristine condition. There is no denying that there is pressure online to have a perfect, spotless, beige and white home. I do clean and decorate just like any average person. NOT sure why people need to argue for no reason, especially on a channel like this 🙃
Yes, but some people have clean clutter free homes and it’s their normal homes.
Yes,,I remember when Aurikatariina once did a whole big house cleaning, but the sad thing was it was already superclean,, so that was a flop really.
Some of Mira's place is from when she moved into this house. We've done the same thing when we moved. Things from old house didn't go with current house. Took awhile to unpack the extra boxes inbetween it all. New place needed new storage solutions. Can completely relate.
Homes on TV - even reality TV - are totally fake. They always declutter and at least partially redecorate before filming anything.
I think you would enjoy Remi Clog's channel, too. She is very kind and humble and normalizes messy homes as well
I am the hoarder and just listening to videos helps me. It’s like talking to my counselor for a week session thank you you motivate me and allow me to look into my head
I second everything you just said!
Same same and they help me become brave enough to throw things away
Me, too!
After my mom passed away, I couldn't deal with the house. Watching Mac and his friend's videos has changed my life!
This type of education is priceless. Also, mad love to Bonnie for being your hands this time. All the best to everyone!
This is a really creative way of working with your burnout and limitations brought on by life circumstances. While you're not the one recording, your input and voice and editing still make this video what it is!
Oh Mack , Mira is going to get a chuckle from you saying she was a pro-wrestler. TY for the voiceover on this video. You bring a much needed voice to all the hoarders and near hoarders out there. Hugs to you Emily and family, as well as Bonnie, Mira and her boys.
It took me the WHOLE video to realize that piece of loose wallpaper wasn't just hanging in mid-air waiting to be reattached to the wall.
I had to go back and look because I thought it was just hanging there and I wanted somebody to go get some wallpaper paste. When I went back and looked that’s a piece of slanted wall ceiling weird construction.
Same!
Ditto😂
My friend and I were at a cleaning job and my friend tried pasting the wallpaper with a little tube that turned out to be oragel😂 the tubes were so similar!
I was about 3/4 the way in before I saw it was a sloping wall hahahhaa
I’m fortunately not a hoarder, but I do have trouble tossing things with potential because I’m an artist and a crafter. And since I don’t have a disorder stopping me, I have actually done what you wanted to do, said to myself, “Oh, so you’re gonna make something from it? Okay, put it on the desk, it’s the next project.” This helps me clear out some things through donation… admitting I won’t do it… or through finally finishing the project. A few still end up sitting but I caught up a lot.
Also, dang that was a nice room under there.
I wish I had had all your wisdom 30 years ago. We just didn't know about this stuff then.
"Mom, it's not fair to make me grieve for you after you pass and go through all this at the same time!" It wasn't fair, and I'm still angry despite all I know now. I could have helped her so much more than I did if I had had a clue that this is a true illness.
Every word you say is absolutely true. I got a lifetime of the three excuses: "I'm going through that," "I just bought that," "I neeed that." Thanks for all you do.
Thank you for covering this topic. I work with hoarders, and these are all great tips for anyone trying to understand a hoarder or gain knowledge before working with one. They deserve our patience and respect, just like anyone else struggling with any other disease/condition/affliction.
I never saw myself as a hoarder until I saw the massive amount of books in this video. I've decided to have a clear out of mine tomorrow (it's 8.59pm just now) and only keep my favourites. Hope I can keep this promise to myself. Great video again.
P.S. It's now the next day (6.21pm) and I binned some that were too tatty to pass on, put some by for a bookie friend, and most of what was left is now boxed up for a local charity shop. I only have eight left which I'll keep - for now. Well worth the effort.
Cheering you on! I used to hoard books until I had to move house a couple times and my back was like please... less boxes of books... I offered the books I was giving away to friends and mutual friends first, and personally delivered them. The leftovers I donated. The gratitude people show for the books you probably will not read a second time helps take away the sting of sizing down the library. 🌿
Good luck. Even if you donated/sold some, then you could get rid of more at a later date. I did this. My rationale was, I only read books once so what's the point in having heavy items that just collect dust and take up space. In the end I got rid of everyone of them!! The only books I keep now are children's books for my granddaughters. I regularly cull those books when they're no longer age appropriate too. You can do it. Put your thoughts into action.
She's got some enviable bookshelves! As an avid reader, I would LOVE to have a wall of shelves like that!
Same here!!
and great taste too one of my favorite parts of her channel is getting to see the fandoms she's been in
This was quite the clean up and re-organization. Mira is making great strides in reclaiming her space and making it safe from trip hazards.
I really admire Mira. It takes a lot of guts and gumption to face her situation head-on and tackle it. You are all the most excellent humans and I’m grateful to be subscribed to your channels.
Bonnie is such a hero! This is a great way to assist Mack in getting content and still post videos while he is actually busy helping his wife deal with recovering and dealing with surgery #2. This is perfection!
Is it just me or did all y'all feel the impact of this video like I did?
We have an Organizer, a Narrator and a Home Owner participating in a clean up like no other I've seen.
Everyone included gave at least 💯% and the results speak for themselves. That office is so beautiful and can be used for office activities for years to come!
Thanks for putting this out there, Mack.
Bonnie... YOU ROCK!!! 💖
Mira, You my dear are both brave and blessed! 😇
PS: Give Emily my best wishes! 🙏
I adore Mira and Bonnie, so happy to watch them on your channel and to hear you speak so respectfully about the situation
I watch Mira, too. She's really progressing towards her goals. Like she has said... sometimes you have to stop and do something else for a bit before you go back to it so you don't get completely overwhelmed and go backwards!
All of the books store nicely on the shelves seems like there was a time that things were good for this person. Can’t family try to help by getting mental help for the person?
@@katjoy9921 she's been doing a lot on her own with bonnie coming in to tackle some of the more overwhelming areas here and there. she has medical issues that prevent her from being able to do too much at once and it happened because of medical issues + depression + just too much stuff. she has family and friends who have helped here and there but was afraid to reach out for help. her mess is also a lot different from other hoarders in that it's a pretty clean mess - mostly just a lot of stuff and not a lot of damage and food and the like. mira is also a recycler so lots of cardboard boxes/ water bottles piling up and the like. it's been taking a while for her to get through because she's decluttering as she goes
I dehoarded my laundry area while watching this video. Thank you Mack and Bonnie.❤
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The narrative by Mack is so human and so understanding of how good people can get into situations beyond their means to get out of.
Thank you for your wonderfully concise wording in explaining hoarding syndrome. These are things I never thought of, and now I want to go back and redo the clean-out I had to do with my mother’s house when she moved to a small retirement apartment. There was so much I didn’t understand.
You always give us channel recommendations, so I'll give you one I enjoy. It's called The Carla Project. I love the episodes she does with her sister because they often deal with that tension of wanting to keep clutter with humor and it comes across as very relatable.
I follow Carla
Thank you for mentioning the 'trauma switch.' I cared for my hoarding folks for 12 years. Now that they are gone, I'm finding emotionally, after clearing stuff, I need time off to adjust and deal with the feels this brings up. Even feeling guilty for reclaiming space to have a safe life. Your videos keep helping me understand why my folks got this way, and how I need to keep working at it, bit by bit, and not be mad at myself when I need an emotional break.
Mac you are so extraordinarily understanding, and able to clearly explain the reasoning behind the hoarding, what a gift you are ❤
First time someone actually put my feelings and thoughts into words ! Thank you !❤🎉😊
I helped some friends awhile back to declutter a hoarded garage. Not to my OCD crazy standard but we got it to a point where they could have put vehicles inside. A month later it was completely full again. It must have felt like a jigsaw puzzle with a missing piece. Their brains just couldn't stand the hole.
I've noticed that in shopping carts. If I run into the grocery store only intending to buy a few things, but I end up with a large-run shopping cart, it will magically fill itself with all sorts of things I think I need (but actually have spares of at home). I've learned to always get a smaller cart, even if I end up overflowing it.
Bonnies organising with Macks voiceover is just the best combo, looking forward to watching this 😊 x
I love your compassion!
Cardboard boxes are the bane of my existence-when I finally got them cleared out my house, I refuse to let them hang out anymore: within 10 minutes of receipt, they’re opened, broke down, and tossed/composted.
I hoard them, but just NOW, reading your comment, and thinking--what do you put donations in?--I realized that there's nothing wrong with putting donations in a reusable plastic bin to take them to the donation center.
I'm going to go break down boxes now and take them to the recycling today.
@@karenflynn6589 I put my donations into lawn/leaf bags. Big plastic bins (that you keep) works great, too. 👍🏼
@@karenflynn6589 I also hoarded boxes for a couple of years, because I knew we had to move and I didn't want to buy a lot of boxes.
The only thing that this made was delay the boxing up process, having to get boxes anyway AND having to throw away tons of paper trash too. Only few of the boxes became useful in the move.
Mira is awesome! I think it’s so neat that she is taking small steps to declutter with the help of amazing people.
Mack, I am so glad you did the narration on this one, you have a soothing no bs way of addressing the moose in the room. Hoarders need help and often have a hard time asking for help. Thank you for all you and Bonnie do to help hoarders. Bonnie is a true friend! Praying for you, Emily and Filth. Take Care xoxo
I am so sick and tired of animals not helping out during the cleaning and organizing! You'd think they could at least flatten boxes, but no, they just walk around looking adorable during the process.
Yeah, what's with that? Obviously a bunch of free-loaders! 😂
We love them and they don't judge us ! Help enough for me !😊😊
@@Laranesight my guys "help" all the time. Usually when I didn't want something flattened 🤭
On the You Tube Channel of ''A Hoarder's Heart'' you can learn a lot about hoarding from the hoarder's perspective. She started with a square foot at a time asking herself what she could throw away (not what she wanted to keep). At first, it was only a few scrap of paper (ex: candy wrapper).She made a lot of progress since then. I recommend watching her videos from the start.
I offered to help a friend with whatever she needed and she said her kitchen. I almost threw up when I went in there. What you do is unbelievably brave.
If it was the smell, next time put Vicks salve at the base of your nose and wear a mask. It helps, I take care of my 88 yr old dad so I’m aware of smells 😂
@@TammyB-x2h Thanks Tammy. I don't even really remember a smell though. The visuals were so crazy and my friend made a cup of tea in a dirty jar.
That's why we don't ask for help. We don't want people to be horrified by us and tell other people.
Hon, I am sorry you are going through this. This channel should help you figure something out. He very compassionate for a moose herder. Good luck.
Comments like this are why we don't ask for help.
I finally got rid of the absolute last of my hoard a month ago. Only things that are used are left in my rooms besides one corner of one bedroom has totes I'm going to go through and make disappear after I heal from my surgery I go in for next week. It's a feeling of absolute relief. I have no desire to go back to it. I don't buy junk anymore and all my trash goes out weekly. You can get through it. I wont say it's easy by no means but it can be done. But trying to force is a definite opposite effect to what you want to happen.
That's wonderful 😊 🏆 👏
Well done! 🎉 Good luck with the surgery and the relief those last totes will also bring you!
Bravo!
Happy for you ❤
As I worked on my spaces, I experienced periods of grief when I acknowledged that there were things that I would never do. I had items from old hobbies that represented past friendships and projects that I meticulously planned and never carried out. Sometimes I felt like a failure for “giving up”. I feel stronger for going through the process, but there’s still a sense of loss.
One funny thing I learned about people (me) who can't settle into one thing and have to have lots of options - choosing one path leads to the death of all the other potential paths out there. It can get to the point where you end up in decision paralysis because you don't want to feel any of that loss - it's like a small death when you lose the choices.
Here's me, taking a break from my desk where I'm working on completing decades old college work that will now never be graded, for a career I can no longer physically do, because that's quicker and easier than going through the mental processes that would enable me to just put it in the trash undone 😅
Boy can I relate! I feel guilt due to “wasting materials” and “so much money” on those materials. And I get anxious thinking I just threw something away that I’m going to need in the future. It’s so difficult changing the way I look at things and at 65 I’m not as optimistic as I should be about being able to change.❤
@@magpiesmith971I try to look at it as my „rental fee“ that I paid for having use of the stuff. I paid the money, the books/hobby material etc was in my house to use if I felt like it, and now I am ending the „rental period“.
It‘s still hard to let go but at least for me that concept makes it easier.
Wow that’s a great room for Mira to use now! She loves crafting and it’d be perfect for her. Well done to everyone.😊
Wow! The reunion of Mira, Bonnie and Midwest Magic Cleaning? It's just 3 of my favorite channels. This makes me happy! 😁
I think whats so impressive to me is that Bonnie can take that desk covered in so many items and clear it off bu seemingly just reorganizing and putting things nicely into boxes. Its amazing how just condensing items into a more organized storage can open up a space to me.
Mira is a sweet lady. I like her videos where she’s cleared an area and redecorates with a few new items. I like that she treats herself for her progress. ❤️
I've seen all of your videos but this is my first comment. I also watch Aurikaterina, Barbie, and Bonnie when I have time. That said...
This was an awesome collaboration between you and Bonnie!!
You are a clear, concise speaker who explains and educates in a no-nonsense but empathetic way and without judgment. Bonnie's messages are similar but she's a more hesitant speaker. Her super power is the organizing work itself. Watching her work with your voice over was a treat. The stretches of time between narration segments allowed time to reflect on what you said while appreciating Bonnie's process and progress along with some ASMR. Altogether so well done!
I also think this kind of collaboration is a great way for you to support each other. Can we please have some more collaboration videos sometime? Thanks! 😊
So kind of you to be such a supportive friend to Bonnie! Watching this, it's clear to see that Bonnie has built up a trust and friendship with Mira, which is really making a difference in Mira's life. Only a really special person has that kind of patience. Bravo!
Seriously, thank you so much for sharing these videos and giving the best advice I have ever heard. As someone that has struggled with mental health, late diagnosed audhd, and generational hording problems, listening to your advice has even helped me. It has helped me so much with recognizing things even within myself that I didn't understand. I remember talking to people about getting help with getting caught up and decluttered. I have also had people "help" in the past, or tried to help others. I know understand why even I responded badly to help that even my husband was providing without even knowing why. It now makes so much more sense.
Respect is everything!! Thank you for that!
I have 2 friends who are struggling with mild hoarding tendencies and have opened up to their feelings of shame and the criticism they’ve received from family. I am hoping to help them organize in the loving judgement free way you and Bonnie show. Thanks for the inspiration and education on this struggle.
Now you've done it. I need to get some art made about my clutter wrestling career. 😂 Thank you so much for sharing your insight on this type of cleaning. I have uploaded my video about the spareroom cleanup. I appreciate you!
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there’s a book called Buried in Treasures and the local public health department ran a 16 week study group on that book. They explored the cognitive distortions around the attachments to the clutter. They did thought experiments where you allowed yourself to temporarily give up certain items to see what would happen and how you would feel. It turns out the urgency and anxiety can go down.
They also worked with the impulsiveness in acquiring things, over buying, or collecting free items from the street. It can be very traumatizing to take away a person’s things by force, or when they are in the hospital. The roots of this behavior can also be trauma, so people need compassion and understanding to help with this situation, not shaming and disgust.
Thank you 🙏 and Barbie for your support and help and education of this issue 😢❤😊
Wow! I thought I hit the wrong subscription button! But 3 of my favorite channels all wrapped up in one! Love w❤
The more I listen, the more I learn. Thank you!
I really wish I could have heard your reasoning about hoarding disorder sooner. After Mum died, Dad became a compulsive amazon shopper and hoarder. I hope we dealt with it sensitively, but it would have been easier if I’d had your insight into it. Eventually he went into a lovely care home and understood that he could not take everything with him. He asked us to donate the rest. we spent many days decluttering his flat.
I find it so interesting that you nailed exactly what she hoards after all of your experience. Crafting supplies, candles, clothes, and books.
There are people in my family with hoarding tendencies. So to help I have got things grouped together and presented them all together (e.g. All the socks on the bed) to show the scale of the issue and to help cut it down. Sorting into piles of odd socks (pointless so throw away), with holes (can also go), winter, short etc. That seems to work well to cut it down - I also find it helps to start with more impersonal items like socks to get them "in the flow" of throwing things away before moving on to more sentimental sections
We then have a cathartic trip to the charity shop or tip to get rid of the stuff the same or next day!
Sadly my next door neighbor died in a fire five feet from her door with her stuff piled to the ceiling on both sides of the path she was laying in. So glad Mira has you and Barbie to help!
That's Bonnie. Did I accidentally say Barbie?
Thank you for explaining this so well. I really like the way you treated the subject with dignity and respect (as much as I love your dad jokes!)
I love The Bon & subscribe. She has a terrific disposition & heart. I appreciate your expert insight into these disorders too.
Thank you to everyone who worked on this video. The voice over was such a beautiful, empathetic description of some practical considerations to help our fellow humans on this planet. ❤
Cheering for Mira, cheering for Bonnie, cheering for Mac! Such wonderful progress!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! For all the work you are doing and all the explanation you are giving! I was hoping to find the answers ... Now the hard lesson of patience ...
I had a horribly bad medication hoard. I could feel a lot of my anxiety actually leave my body when we burned it all in our fire pit. I would never have been able to do that without watching these channels. Thank you so much.
100% everything you say. I went through this with my best friend. 10 months of weekends filled with sadness, reminiscence, frustration, humour, lots of wine and cursing (sometimes at her son, who is a hilarious wind-up merchant arsehole, sometimes at each other, but mainly at how ridiculous the mess was). When we speak now she mentions it now and again and says she'd never have let anyone else in to help and I take that as a compliment; she knew it needed fixed but was ashamed and really didn't need someone pushy giving her grief. She has done really well to keep it in a manageable state since then. I do believe if we'd rushed it rather than working through it patiently and taking frequent (wine!) breaks when it go too much (for both of us) it would have done more harm than good.
It’s awesome how you create awareness while also helping out Bonnie and Mira through this video❣️ Wishing you and your family a great day. 😍👍
See notification. Click. Settle in. Enjoy. Thanks for everything you do!
This is such a great video. Seeing a legitimate hoarder making so much progress that she invites and allows an extreme cleaner in, and getting to watch a skilled cleaner and organizer in an environment that needs her, all with informative insightful narration by another skilled extreme cleaner. This is an educational video in multiple ways.
27:32 Wow, once again, I saw myself in your description of a hoarders mind. I have a woman helping me clean. But first, I have to go through the area and remove the 'trash'. That way she will just clean. Usually, I will even empty the trash. One time, I forgot, and when I saw the empty trash can, I spent days wondering what might have been in it. I didn't tell her, but she must have sensed it,, because the next time she cleaned, she would show me a trash can before she emptied it, asking if I wanted her to. I still remember the necklace I wore for my wedding fifty years ago. I safely wrapped it in a tissue and placed it by the bed on my honeymoon. My new husband felt it was necessary to clean for the maid and threw it away. It was a potential heirloom for my future daughter. Thank you for making hoarding make sense. A couple neighbor ladies offered to come help me de clutter. I felt immediate panic, and realized that I could not handle the stress of monitoring two people at once.i agreed if they would come one at a time.
you are doing amazing work man. thanks for making these videos
I was fortunate enough to afford working with a professional organizer and she was life-changing for me. She never pushed me to get rid of things, she often encouraged me to think about an item for a bit before making a decision. She was so uplifting and positive and made it so much easier for me. I’m profoundly grateful for Aimee and always will be.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE how the clean for free community support one another. I’ve been with you since the beginning and have since started following 5-6 others. You’re always giving shout outs to one another and here you are doing a voice over for Bonnie!
Well done as always Bonnie!
Thank you for all that you do! I just spent a week trying to get my kitchen cleaned. I suffer from depression and I have just found out that procrastination is a deression response to external pressure when I have no way to process it. I just finally started today and then we ran out of hot water! Crazy sauce!
I love your stories and lack of blaming! That is a good place to begin healing.
Mira has been a rock star in decluttering and Bonnie has been so wonderful to be the Energizer bunny for her. Sometimes it seems to be forgotten that folks in this position have some serious health issues that limit their energy. What an excellent job of explaining the details of the organizing/cleaning. Progress, not perfection. I am sending the good thoughts and prayers for you and Emily, Mack. Hope all concerned are better soon.❤❤❤
What an amazing way for Bonnie and Mira's videos to reach more people! By you sharing one of Bonnie's videos, it shows even more how much you want to help people and how much you care about others.
Love from Ireland Mack. Hope you and Emily doing ok. ♥️❤️🩷
Also in Ireland😊
As always, everything you've said about handling hoarders is spot on. My parents home has gotten to the point that their lights flicker, they have broken plumbing, large parts of the floors have rotted, and rodent droppings are easily seen. They have 2 bathrooms, and the shower in one is completely unusable. I've *done* the routine of cleaning/reorganizing/remodeling for them. It doesn't work. I got blamed, gaslit, accused of going behind their backs, even when I did everything in front of them. It truly is maddening. I've gotten to the point I can't help them anymore. They're in their 70's, and have been hoarders since before I was born, so I grew up in conditions that looked identical to this video. It's heartbreaking, because I do want to help. I don't want to see my parents living like that. But they won't accept help. For a hoarder, being willing and emotionally able to ask for and accept help is *HUGE*.
🌪 there's Bonnie!!!❤😂 Thanks for taking the time to do this whilst so much going on at home with Emily. You are a blessing to so many people!! Take time to take care of yourself too, Mac! 💛💜
This is one of the best and most compassionate explanations of hoarding disorder that I think I have ever heard.
I follow all of you and Bonnie is exactly the right person to help Mira. Her organisation skills are second to none and she has the patience of a saint. Mira decided to declutter her house quite a while ago so, as you said, she is mentally prepared for positive change. However, her health really does restrict what she can do so I'm really pleased Bonnie has helped her on a number of occasions.
I hope Emily is ok. I've lost track of time, has she had her op done yet? The last trip was very stressful for you all. I wish her all the best and a speedy recovery.
Yes, that wresting does take a toll. So glad she is getting help from Bonnie and a great narration from you!🌺❤️🌺
This advice was really helpful as we are going to our first hoarder house in September, she was offered help by social services but they wanted to go in and throw everything away! I feel more mentally prepared now that I've listened to your ted talk 😂 x
Awesome collaboration. Mira is making so much great progress with help from you and Bonnie.
Also love your explanations and insights. It really boils down to respecting the person as an individual first and not just as a problem that needs fixing. Something that seems to be an afterthought more and more in the world around us.
Wishing the best to all of you as you each work through your struggles.❤
I love her tree wallpaper!!!... I live in the Pacific northwest...I LOVE trees......
Your explanations are excellent, that's why I come back to your channel over and over. That's also why I share your channel with others particularly those that deal with the issues you speak about either themselves or a family member or friend.
Thanks for always making excellent videos. ❤
Wow you explained this very well. I am not a hoarder but have friends that are and this is great information.
Huge progress at Mira's. Looks great! Mack, when you talked about making a birdhouse from scrap wood, it reminded me of something the Minimal Mom says about our real self and our fantasy self. It's our famtasy self that thinks we are going to use all of the scrap wood, the fancy entertainment dishes when people come over, etc. It's a good way to explain ❤
Except we really really want to use the fancy dishes because people we know have used fancy dishes when we are their guests. We want that admiration too.
@@marywiggins7411 Not everyone. :) I bought 1 full set of dishes and 1 full set of flatware that are timeless, resist breakage, and are light weight for when I get old. I use them year round..even with guests. Table linens and centerpieces can be changed to make it fancy.
@mrseliephant good for you!
I was merely agreeing that from my personal experience I acquire dishes because I want that experience, which can be a symptom of 'fantasy self' from hoarding. Once we fix the major issue, there can be a happy medium - we deserve pretty if that is what we want from that experience.
I have many friends that I would like to return the favor and have to my house to entertain.
@@marywiggins7411 I use my fancy dishes on myself! Guests too, obviously, but it's good to feel fancy. I have beautiful plates I see every day and they make me smile even on the draining board.
Excellent collaboration! Bonnie organizes like I do. Love watching her do her magic. Hope you feel better, Gym Khana.
It's not Gym Khana
Big thanks to Bonnie for helping Mack out with this video. I need my husband to listen to this narration. As much as I'm not a hoarder, I demonstrate many of the behaviours you have described and it causes a lot of conflict.
I heard you mention that therapy for the hoarder is highly recommended, and I agree. I am currently acting as the organizer for a hoarder in my life whom I care about, but I'll admit that sometimes it's hard and frustrating. We've built a lot of trust during this process and made a lot of progress but it has been slow. I was wondering if there is a support group or community for the organizer in these situations?
Because i care about them and want to help, and don't want to give up due to my own burnout
Thanks for sharing your expertise on how to approach this. I’ve heard some people say that the best way to help (and prove that you really do just want to help) is by offering to work on the dishes and the laundry. Not always possible in the worst houses I’ve seen on here, the ones with no water, but for many people it’s the thing that they need constant help with so they can start the harder process of going through the hoard.
What a combo, thanks guys for the joint encounter. Amazing result as usual for Bonnie, it just amazes me how quickly she can sort, clear and categorise the jumble. Mira and her fur babies are cute and was that Bonnies son?. Thanks Mac hope all going well in your world.
Stay well all 💚🐝
I just love Bonnie. She is the real deal. So sweet and patient. The perfect person to help a hoarder. I hope her channel grows!
This was fun! Bonnie cleaning/Mack voice over Although I may have missed Bonnie’s calming voice and you spin kicking moose a bit. But seriously, I love anything you both put out. Love you guys! ❤❤
I love how Bonnie keeps adjusting and reorganizing! Thank you for the tips. I have cleaned up 2 hoarded house after someone passes. I wish I knew how to help before this happened
I really appreciate the way you talk about Hoarding and people with that disorder! Very compassionate and understanding that it is an Disorder and steamrolling them might fight the symptom but doesn't touch the real cause. Thats why I hated shows like "Hoarders" that looked down on these people and got annoyed when they got overwhelmed and angry.
Mack’s voice is velvet. I adore Bonnie and Barbie..but your voice is the best.❤️
8:06 This piece of advice is going to heal families. I will show them this video next monday. It was done out of love, and don't know why there is a void right now. It's like grieving. Thank you!!!
This really touched upon some of my problems I now realize I am a hoarder of fabric and yarn. I have parted with some and have made a dent in using some mostly for charity projects. Thanks for the eye opener