@@keytrononit3 People these days are always looking for something to "stand in solidarity", right now the criteria is 'having a sob story'. Stunning and brave.
Yes priorities. So sad some people magnify the small petty non and focus on non evil.things..but yet when it comes to something criminal illegal morally disgustingly wrong that need to be addressed people sweep it under the rug. Boo's dad is level headed compared to the mom. I feel bad for Boo
“It’s a costume.” My mother said that to me too. It was and is the most insulting thing someone has ever said to me. She reduced my identity to a show, a performance. Until this day, it revolves my stomach.
Yeah, I thought that when I originally watched it. Turns out the "dad" actor is 10 years younger than Lea Delaria in real life. I get it's supposed to be a flashback, but they should have either hired an older actor or made the actor look older. It's also like a 3 minute scene so I can see not spending a ton of extra time/money on it.
shogun harlem I kinda agree with u and then I don’t Boos mother shouldn’t get a free pass just cause she’s dying she had so many years to get to kno her daughter as herself. Just because she was given a home and fed and cloth doesn’t mean she didn’t suffer emotionally. Hell Sophia is transgender and her father wanted to see her when he was bout to die even tho he was homophobic he even called her by her new name. Which shows that Boos mother could’ve accepted boo for who she is before she passed
shogun harlem personally as someone from the LGBT community i can say that having your existence, who you are identity wise is soul crushing and these feelings can lead to emotional issues. Heck i have a sister who insults me for being LGBT, and when i spoke of being Non Binary she refused to accept it. I only ever feel myself around people who accept who i am. It is hard to be around family who dont truly know you or accept you and sometimes being prouder and louder is the best way to spite their awful behaviour (like what boo is doing) And as others say, dying doesnt give someone a pass to being a cunt, you either respect others or die being a narrow minded asshole who never broadened their horizons You learn so much from communities outside your own and ones you belong in that arent ‘normal’ I always thought ‘isnt pride just for gay people?’ When i was young but having gone to pride for years its full of people of numerous orientations, genders and lifestyles. And im white, but my relationships and connections with my friends of different origins has opened my eyes and helped me understand so many different cultures besides my own. And after developing mental health issues and being labelled as disabled, joining the disabled community has opened up my mind more to all types of disabilities and the way people live with theirs. Its a sad life to not broaden your knowledge or horizons of the lives of people different from you. Maybe thats what Boo’s parents and so many people online today need to realise.
Some people just aren't worth your time no matter who they are to you. If her mother was going to be so upset over her ""costume"" rather than focusing on the fact that after years of not seeing her daughter she came back to her to see her one last time; then it isn't worth walking in there. There's a reason boo left in the first place, why walk right back into it after all those years?
Her mother wouldn’t see HER, though; just like her dad doesn’t see HER. They see a disappointment. A failure. And they want HER to disappear so “she” can be acceptable in their eyes.
This is just an idea of mine, but I don't the dad hates his daughter's (aka boos) lifestyle nor does he completely like it either. I think he's indifferent with whatever his daughter does, but just maybe just this once (while her mom is dying in there) just to wear some other casual clothes. Nothing fancy hopefully but just kinda look presentable is all. At least from I think.
Perfect empowering scene! I Stan with Boo. She finally choose herself. She finally stood up for her inner child and decided to start truly living! To all the girls that are seeing this and have or will be through this, if you're old enough to provide for you and be safe, don't wait for a second to choose to start living fully because you're fear of the hurt of rejection. Let me break it down for you, by denying a part of you, you're rejecting yourself not only in the presence of others but every single second of your life, so you're already hurting before even experiencing that hurting you're so scared of! You're being didn't came to earth to be dead, it came to live. We each came alone, and alone we go, so our conscious choices make our life, there's thing we "can't choose", so the one we can we must choose for ourselves. If others are not happy with it, is their choice, their picture perfect, their illusion of control of other human beings. People should and can not own other people! So go be you, go live your life! No one else can do it like you can!
because he knew what his wife's reaction would be. right or wrong, he knows it wouldn't go well. All that would happen is mom would freak out, boo would feel insulted and hurt, and then everyone leaves unhappy. vs trying to stop that from happening by asking her to change, which is also kind of insulting. There is just no way to really win here
The world is gonna be wrong and crooked anyways. I see what her dad is saying and he’s right, but to compare her entire wardrobe to his work uniform in this sense was a bit ridiculous imo.
I think part of the reason it's so rewatchable is all the characters that have their own story and motives. Like, I watch it loving Daya's character and the next time I love Boo's character :)
@@keytrononit3 Season 7 gets worse with the whole ICE thing along with other things. But watching Blanca in tears in the season 6 finale made me cry so bad. She really wanted to start over with her boyfriend Diablo.
It makes me SO mad that there are "parents" like this. I don't care if my daughter grows up to be gay, trans, has purple hair, piercings covering her body, etc. She is MY DAUGHTER that I gave birth to. The amazing daughter that I bonded with that gave me the best years of my life. We do not have to agree with what our children do, but dang it, LOVE THEM. There is a way to disagree with them and not support a lifestyle you don't agree with and STILL love them, not abandon them! There are many more people out there that never even had the chance to have children! MY daughter is my world and my whole life! IF you've grown up Christian, that is fine, but we are NOT to abandon our children. If anything, we are supposed to embrace them MORE and show them the unconditional love that JESUS shows us every day in spite of our flaws and in spite of our sin!! At the end of our lives, what ever way we lived is between us and God. It makes me so upset that a Mother could just write off her own daughter. I could NEVER do that!!
@@Noa...... okay for the sake of conversation..doesnt matter how I explain sexuality or lifestyle .this is a TV show .however for this dialogue/scene it will HIT everyone who feels the same.way boo felt. Or side with the mom dying..I'm.just saying that Boo felt like an outsider with the way her mom treated her. Since the beginning..her dad was more compassionate toward her (thank GOD) and I wished boo's mom met her halfway that's all.. it the loneliest feeling when children feel rejected by their parent(s )😢
I have very different parents, so as someone who doesn't feel like this is relatable, I still appreciate and am happy for her. Awesome job (doesn't have to be relatable to be understood 👍🏻)
My mum acted like me watching drag race made me feminine, as if I wasn’t putting on dresses and knew I was into other guys from the start, I’d like to have some closure but she’s a narcissist and is telling people I’m bi now as her way of coping, I’m sick of it I’m just gonna act as gay as I feel and nobody is gonna stop me anymore. Also my mum once looked me in the eye and told me I deserved to be raped because I didn’t leave an abusive relationship in time, as if she hadn’t broken me into a state where all I thought I was good for was being someone else’s emotional punching bag.
There's a bar scene where she makes a bet with the bartender and when he isn't looking she takes the money that she gave him back. I just assumed that one day she got caught stealing something important.
Seriously? She had a good home and wasn't abused. Her parents let her wear whatever she wanted to school except for ONE day. No wonder everyone calls young people snowflakes.
@@niyah___ has all the privileges? She's a bunch of lesbian. That is one of the most unaccepted lesbians in the world. Sure a lot of people hate gay people. Men and women both. But they hate but she women and they hate feminine men more. I guarantee you she probably got beaten up a lot at school I was treated like shit at school. But of course they probably didn't show that. And since she is so much older than I am I guarantee you that back in the decade when gay people weren't even accepted again to you she was beaten up and mistreated. It's only fairly recently that gay people have had a type of privileges. Because for decades hell centuries they have been denied any privileges whatsoever.
@@LB-gz3ke actually she didn't have a good home. Because the one person that's supposed to love you the most hated you for who you were and could not accept you for who you are. That isn't a good home. And by the way she was abused verbally and emotionally and mentally. Her mother wanted her to feel like shit for who she was and wanted her to become more like what her mother wanted her to become. That isn't being a snowflake. So yes that is incredibly sad. Because she had no one in the whole world except for her dad. But her dad was too much of a pushover to stand up for his own daughter.
She's not even wearing anything bad (not that it matters, I'm saying that the outfit she's wearing isn't over-the-top like wearing a Halloween costume like the dad is basically referring to her outfit) The clothing Boo is wearing a gender neutral outfit, most people would wear this. Her parents are making such a big damn deal out of it. I can't believe how some parents make such a big deal out of clothing. Parents wonder why kids go no contact and never visit, because they don't accept their children for who they are and then they grow up with religious trauma, trust issues, and internalized self hatred & homophobia against themselves.
I never understood parents like this. I tell my kid as long as he's happy, productive, not on drugs, his partner treats him right, and the relationship is loving and healthy idgaf who he dates/marries. As long as your kid can stand on their own two feet in adulthood, aren't on drugs or in prison and living a productive life you've done your job as a parent. Everything else is none of your business unless it's affecting them negatively.
To all the little peoples wondering if the world is all bad I can promise you the world beyond it's not. You WILL fine people who love you. People who dont mind the hand you want to hold or the people you grow old with. I promise. 💙💙💙
Jeans, grey hoodie and gold chain... the horror! If a pretty and thin woman was wearing it, they would think it an acceptable outfit, so this is actually pretty realistic of the real world 😂
do i think he wanted to push her away? no, he looked quite relieved she was there, he knew how her mother was growing up and he was trying to keep the peace in her final moments, do i see why boo is angry? yes, because she shouldn’t have to change and she’s tired of it. But i can also see why boos dad sorta popped off; he doesn’t really have much time to meet her in the middle this time around, he’s clearly showing remorse while she rants about it, but he let her go because he wasn’t gonna push the issue or make her do that if she really didn’t want to, and if it was that big of a deal to her. he respected her but he also respected his wife. y’all really gotta see it from a different perspective aha
Well that's true. I don't get to wear MY clothes most of the week. Office jobs need you to look respectable-like lol. I look like a clown during weekdays, I hate it
like i love boo, i get she only wants to be herself and not put on her mask but i mean come on its how the world works, we all do it, your not special, we all have responsibilities we need to take care of move on and shit
@@para-yw9dn but come on it's just to fckin make her happy, why does she have to define who she is by the way she dress can't she be the mature one ? Clearly her mom is in the wrong but also Boo could of handled it much better, his dad was the one who's right honestly.
ariana ghandi What in the actual fuck is wrong with you? Weight does not have anything to do with this woman’s question nor this scene. I seriously hope you are not this shallow outside of TH-cam. And honestly, You may want to take away something from this scene. You could be a size 0 and have a heart that only has greed, ignorance, jealousy, and zero sympathy inside. OR you could be a size 20 and have a heart bigger than most filled with love, acceptance and quality that most twig people like you don’t seem to have. Think before you speak or in this case- TYPE.
@@madison475c someone made a shit comment and you just spent your time doing what? Fixing them? Probably not. Ill give you some words to live by and im not trying to shit on you for what you did because i agree with what you said. But before arguing with someone, just take a minute to think, is this ignorant ass capable of understanding another point of view? If the answer is no, leave it alone, let the world swallow them out of karma. In this case, id say he is not, and you should just continue on with your day, dont let interneters fire you up, just be happy for yourself because you know youre better.
Zoe Rae Well the thing is you shouldn’t have to change your clothes and who you are in order to do that. if you mom cares more about your appearance and other people’s perceptions than seeing you one last time before she dies then I’m sorry but she has problems.
Even if it meant that your mother actually never really truly loved you. Because she never did love her daughter. She cared more about her image then she did about her own daughter.
I know my dying mother wouldn’t care what I wore if it meant we got too see each other before she passed. That’s the whole point here, she should’ve accepted Boo for who she was
I don’t understand why people think she has awful parents.. they didn’t hit or abuse her for god sake.. they (her mother) simply wanted her to dress formally. Yes I know we should all live as we want but boo was only thinking about herself and left her parents behind. They’re humans too and they deserve to be treated as people who just want their child to act the way they like it. If that’s wrong then is it also wrong that some parents educate their children to be academics or models or doctors?
If Boo had shown up in a regular t-shirt and jeans this argument would not have happened. Of course, Boo shouldn't have to accommodate or tolerate anyone's homophobia. But geez, he just wanted her to not upset his terminally ill wife who wasn't suddenly going to get over her deep seated traditionalist issues in the next 5 minutes. He wasn't asking Boo to show up as a Stepford Wife, so she came off as frustratingly unreasonable in this scene
@@TheJadedJames I mean - she is dressed pretty casually but not in anything shocking. You think she would have been ok with seeing her if her sweat shirt was less ripped? 😐
@@carlingnugent Be serious. You know what would offensive about her outfit to conservative busybodies like her mother, and how simply it would be to curb that without dressing "feminine". She could have just not shown up to the hospital at all if she was going to act this way. I sympathize with Boo that her mother never accepted her and probably pressured her to be something she wasn't for most of childhood as the other flashback shows. That wasn't a fair situation to grow up with. But in this scene, she is being plainly unreasonable and I just feel bad for her dad that this fight has to be re-hashed while his wife dies in the other room.
@@TheJadedJames I feel for the dad too - but he's wrong. In this scene Boo arrived to see a woman who hardly loves her and doesnt accept her and is immediately told that her fairly normal casual clothes arent good enough. Its thinly veiled way to say Boo isn't good enough. Her dad's back himself into his corner after years of trying to "make peace". He never had the balls or the patience to help them confront their issues. He's dysfunctional and helped create this mess.
@@TheJadedJames except that's what her mother would have wanted. Her mother would have wanted her to do the whole shebang be ultra feminine and wear makeup and everything. Cuz that's what her mother would have wanted. She wanted something extravagant.
Y'know I get boo's situation, I really do but I can't help but feel like she should have just changed. If my mom (Gods forbid) had treated me like that but I still cared enough to go see her in the end, what's the harm in doing what she wished just one time
@@Noa...... I agree, but as I said in my original comment, I still think she should have changed to see her one last time. I'm transgender and I can't tell you how many times I've had to make allowances and change into "girl" clothes for an occasion. As much as it sucks, and it really does, my close don't define who I am
@@jean-louisecarroll2447 Clothes are an extension of self; gender expression is an extension of self. In the past, her dad convince her to wear the dress for her mother and grandmom. And even society hates her masculinity. She probably let anger run over her head. I can place myself in her shoes.
I love boo but she pisses me off so much here. Her saying she had to fight to be who she is, and not dress how she isnt inside and everything. Like yes, that would be valid except from childhood they let you cut your hair short and wear boys clothes and all they wanted was one day where she looked feminine. Dad had a point, no one gets to be who they want all the time and if you chose that then you have to understand it comes at a sacrifice. It would be like if she refused to wear a uniform at a McDonalds. You bite the bullet for shit that matters. You should always be true to yourself, always...but she acts like her parents were gay bashing and she had to hide her whole life. Nah man, you been proudly you since childhood unlike many unfortunate others. Poor writing choice imo
Just put the fuckin' dress on. I dress my dog up like R2D2 on Halloween, that doesn't make him a robot. If I really like skinny jeans and lipstick it still wouldn't kill me to wear a suit to a job interview. Get off the damned soapbox.
I actually think it’s quite a childish way of acting.. I have had exactly the same fights with my parents all my life! And I fully agree that on regular days she can be who she wants. But her parents sacrifices how they feel to let her do that everyday. How come she can’t return the sacrifice once a year.. That’s how I coped, both make efforts.
The mother did not do anything to accept her gender expression and sexuality. Why do you make it seem like acceptance would be such a sacrifice otherwise?
180 because acceptance is not given to everyone. My whole family is against most of what I am, it’s in their core. I a being raised your whole life with some principles and then being told you have to think differently. Racism and homophobia can be changed of course! But it’s hard, in the way that I could not change you for being accepting. I don’t know if you see what I am saying. It’s not excusable of course! But I’m just saying it can be a sacrifice for some people! And it’s a good one because eventually it will make them grow and be accepting! And it won’t be an effort anymore. But right now, it is.
Although I agree with Boo and support her idea of not being ashamed of who you really are, there is something that I don’t understand and don’t support at all. SHe decided not to be a little “girly” for her mom at her last moments, but when it comes to money, she was okay with changing a bit/sort of betraying her own beliefs. I mean, I know that money is vital regarding the fact she is in prison, but does money appear to be the way more important than family for her? Even though she was frequently insulted by her mothe,
Doing that was completely her choice on her own terms. Putting on a mask you hate for the sake of people who’re supposed to love you unconditionally is very different.
How can you even compare the two? Regarding her mother, she's the one not accepting her daughter because she's not the woman she wanted her to be. Putting on a front to get money from bigots with a political agenda isn't the same as acceptance from your parents who are supposed to have unconditional love.
I totally agree with you Kamila. Also, why does the mom have to like the way she dresses.. bullshit. You can love someone and hate the way they dress. I'm sure my mom wouldn't like it if I showed up with a mohawk or whatever. If I hadn't seen her for years and then all of a sudden showed up like a bucket full of shock I wouldn't be surprised if my dad said the same thing and he'd be damn right. I'm a total tomboy myself and had my fair share of fights over clothing and stuff but these scenes to me were a shitty example of serious repression and or psychological abuse.
@@BaskiHighT it's not about liking how she dresees. That's what you and Kamila don't seem to get. Name one parent that has liked everything their kids have done..? It's about loving your kids inspite of the choices they make, how they express themselves or who they are as people. The test of unconditional love is embracing people regardless of differences. Clearly her mother did not show her that. Why would seeing her like that be a shock? It's not new and it is clear that her father would rather his wife be presented a facade than see her one and only child before she died. Yea, it's narcissism already, but not Carrie's. Carrie (Boo) isn't the one demanding her mother be a version of Boo before she sees her.
Her dad wasn’t asking her to stop being butch, just to make her mothers final moments more peaceful. He’s right no one gets to be themselves all the time, boo isn’t the only one suffering, she’s asking everyone to accommodate her but not willing to change to accommodate her family, even for a moment before her mums death? She also could’ve just insisted on seeing her mother anyways, but instead got so insulted and walked off. Kinda childish
I would agree, but her mother NEVER accepted her, not on Christmas not on the weekend, NEVER if she had her way shed have her act and dress like a person she isn't...forever, without ounce thinking of her happiness, the least she can do at this point is come to terms that she isn't who she hoped she would be, and say goodbye to her child...if my kid were a murderer thief or the freaking anti Christ, id still want to see them at the end.
@@emokid732 exactly, but the mother didn’t say I don’t want to see you, she’s probably too weak. The dad made a suggestion and Boo stormed off, so there’s no chance of goodbyes, reconciliation, the mother to say sorry or ANYTHING ANYMORE. I just wish Boo went inside.
I mean come on, I think he is right. He isn't asking her to be someone else. He's just asking her to do something that would make her mother happy for even a little moment I mean she's dying for God sake can't she just pretend for like two minutes. Instead of forcing everyone to accept her as she is, she knows his mother won't so might as well make her happy. It doesn't mean that that would permenatly change her identity of whatever. I think he's very comprehensive, if he thinks her mother can't handle it then he's doing what's right he himself isn't judgy or anything, he even tells her to do whatever the fuck she wants. Instead boo decides to go and make him a whole speech about how she hates not being accepted, but she's saying this to the wrong person. His father couldn't care less about what she does, he was open to everything. But he also knew what his mother liked and didn't.
imagine losing the chance of having a daughter just because you are homophobic. it would break my heart to know that i will die without talking to my child for the last time
Im gay and would have changed. Her mom was from a different time and ignorant. Sucks but it is what it is. I would have put on diff clothes to say goodbye despite her bigotry because that's my mom. Lifes not fair.
I wouldn't have, and I say this with the experience of not only nearly losing my mom at nineteen, but also with her last words to me almost being "Shut the fuck up!"
Like the dad said "its one day" - putting some different clothes on to make her mum happy wouldnt have changed who she was inside. I would have done it.
doedelzak its putting on an item of clothing for one day! I am not that sensitive to get angered over wearing something that would make my mother happy in her final moments. If you are truly secure in who you are then i dnt see the issue. But agree to disagree i suppose :)
doedelzak as i said agree to disagree. Im just saying for me i would do it. Its ok for me to be OK with it, as it is for you NOT to be. Everyone is different.
I wouldn’t have wanted the last thing my mother sees to be her daughter lying to her. If you can’t love your child for being themself then you don’t deserve to have them put on a show for you. Respect begets respect. That mother doesn’t have a child, she has an idea of a child.
Her father has a point about the costume of suit and tie. She is very selfish and could dress herself that would not make her mother upset for one day. But she wants to provoke.
This was so hard to watch. Mostly because it's just clothing. She couldn't just be the bigger person and play dress up for a day to have one last moment with her mother, it had to be about her.
If I were her I would have just changed my cloths and went to say goodbye to my mom. I have a butch sister so I understand all of this but what I always tell my sister you'll never ever change thier mind about this so in weddings and family dinners it won't kill you to wear a skirt just for one day for them so she does everyone happy in the end its just close inside your still the same person
Kbear2097 You do not know me and I am not shallow at all. You can disagree with someone by replaying to the things they said rather than attacking the person who said the thing you disagree with that's how an argument should go so if you disagree with me please tell me what you disagree on and I would respect your opinion but there is no need for name calling and accusing and making things personal.
Yeah, she should have just put on something less masculine real quick. I have a friend who was born into a muslim family, but she went the secular route. Still, she wears a scarf on her head when she visits her grandmother and other old people in her family. She doesn't like it at all, but it's just easier. She ditches it before she's even in the car.
DaPopoloinParadise Yeah I understand I'm Muslim myself and I do the same thing when I'm in presence of religious men to not make them feel uncomfortable
Your question is one that I actually spent a lot of time thinking about, especially when I was a teenager and basically in denial about the kind of person I wanted to be. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that sometimes you'll never change their minds. In those situations where your own personal identity comes up against the beliefs of others and their expectations of you, you have a choice. You can do what you want, or you can do what they want. For me, and I think for a lot of butches, we arrive at our identity through so much soul-searching, confusion, discrimination, and self-hatred. And then you get into these situations, where it feels like you're asked to "undo" all that hard work- for what? To make other people happy? Other people who don't even treat you as if they like you? That becomes a really tough sell.
Thinking about it, she's pretty bratty about the whole situation. Her father was right. You can't have everything you want all the time if you want to connect with other people, sometimes we must make concession in order to work with other people. Being a self-centered person wouldn't work in a society.
@@laurengeorge4251 It is. Her arguement is always about how it's who she is and other people should accept that. If she's not self centerd she would find a way to compromise. We all do it everyday, you think an outfit is good but someone doesn't like it so you change a bit. The fact that she refuse to make her mother happy by at least wear what she wants her to wear is just stupid. I wear stupid clothes my parent buy me all the time, I hate it but I find a way to still make them happy by occasionally wearing it, especially when meeting them. It's not that hard to pretend for a few hours.
@@TheJadedJames Of course. Their whole arguement is just how she like to wear a boyish clotges and her mother doesn't want that. She's in her death bed for fuck's sake just do what she wants. You know she like feminime clothes so why she didn't even make an effort?
She couldn't have changed JUST to go in and see her mother? It's not like she was asked to change for the rest of her life. Geez... I just find that to be sort of selfish and immature. It's just clothes, put on a different outfit for a couple minutes. Nah I don't like her, her personality is shit. Good actress though.
but the mother's not selfish and immature for refusing to see her daughter because of how she dresses? if "it's just clothes", then why does it mean so much to her mother? your logic is bullshit.
I agree. I understand a teenager being stubborn about her clothes and hair, but this woman is 42. It's just CLOTHING. It doesn't fundamentally change anything about you. Wear slacks and a sweater for 10 minutes. Nope, can't do that cause I have to win this fight, childishness. Yes, her mom is childish about it too. So be the bigger person for one last time. That is how an adult "wins."
The way her body shaped and her posture, she wouldn't look right in feminine clothes! Some people just don't fit certain norms! Like I wear women's pants from time to time and I look good in them because I have fat thighs for a guy! But I see certain gay dudes try to rock those same pants and it don't look right because they have chicken legs so the pants make ' em look anorexic 😂😂
I wouldn’t care how my daughter dressed or who she liked. As long as they’re good at heart, I’d love them regardless.
Exactly! Life is hard and cruel enough
I wish you were my mother
You're the best kind of mother that so many of us wish we had
Daytona Fletcher
I agree. I would forever love my child.
You coule always love and dissagree
Damn after 42 years her parents still chose to keep the same way of thinking instead of learning to except her daughter for who she is :(
accept*
I’m 31 and they still haven’t accepted me for the glam queen I am.
T Z I posted this 11 months ago and I still think about this typo like what am I going to college for 😂
its mishfish gg
Or at least deal with it
mom's dying, the kid who's been gone for years is finally back, last chance for closure... But they choose to focus on looks. Priorities
MadameTamma yet she chose to bring up her personal problem when her mom's dying lol. He just asked for one thing, not to change her whole entire life
Keytron Onit you’ve missed the point of this scene entirely...
Keytron Onit yeah were you even listening to what she was saying?
@@keytrononit3 People these days are always looking for something to "stand in solidarity", right now the criteria is 'having a sob story'. Stunning and brave.
Yes priorities. So sad some people magnify the small petty non and focus on non evil.things..but yet when it comes to something criminal illegal morally disgustingly wrong that need to be addressed people sweep it under the rug. Boo's dad is level headed compared to the mom. I feel bad for Boo
When she says the “I refuse to be invisible“ part my heart grows three sizes more gay.
“It’s a costume.” My mother said that to me too. It was and is the most insulting thing someone has ever said to me. She reduced my identity to a show, a performance. Until this day, it revolves my stomach.
Don't be afraid to still be yourself, you deserve it. Your clothes shouldn't matter to your mom as much you should. ❤
I believe that when he mentioned the costume he meant the clothes She would wear in front of her mother, his dad recognizes what Boo is
@@natetwd1990 Masculinity is part of who she is. Chlothing style is an extension of the self.
Oh noooeees! 😂
All identities are performances though.
That moment when you're the same age as the person playing your dad lol
Yeah, I thought that when I originally watched it. Turns out the "dad" actor is 10 years younger than Lea Delaria in real life. I get it's supposed to be a flashback, but they should have either hired an older actor or made the actor look older. It's also like a 3 minute scene so I can see not spending a ton of extra time/money on it.
@@danielstack4158 It's very surprising when women like Lea do scenes with people who play parents that are actually younger than her.
She does look younger than her age but lol
Wait until you hear about Aleida and Daya.
I wouldn't care I still want to see my baby before I die
Nobody should live their life pretending to be something they are not or trying to impress others. I think what Boo did was right.
shogun harlem eh in my opinion if you didnt earn respect while you were alive you don’t deserve it when you’re dead.
shogun harlem I kinda agree with u and then I don’t Boos mother shouldn’t get a free pass just cause she’s dying she had so many years to get to kno her daughter as herself. Just because she was given a home and fed and cloth doesn’t mean she didn’t suffer emotionally. Hell Sophia is transgender and her father wanted to see her when he was bout to die even tho he was homophobic he even called her by her new name. Which shows that Boos mother could’ve accepted boo for who she is before she passed
shogun harlem personally as someone from the LGBT community i can say that having your existence, who you are identity wise is soul crushing and these feelings can lead to emotional issues.
Heck i have a sister who insults me for being LGBT, and when i spoke of being Non Binary she refused to accept it.
I only ever feel myself around people who accept who i am.
It is hard to be around family who dont truly know you or accept you and sometimes being prouder and louder is the best way to spite their awful behaviour (like what boo is doing)
And as others say, dying doesnt give someone a pass to being a cunt, you either respect others or die being a narrow minded asshole who never broadened their horizons
You learn so much from communities outside your own and ones you belong in that arent ‘normal’
I always thought ‘isnt pride just for gay people?’ When i was young but having gone to pride for years its full of people of numerous orientations, genders and lifestyles.
And im white, but my relationships and connections with my friends of different origins has opened my eyes and helped me understand so many different cultures besides my own.
And after developing mental health issues and being labelled as disabled, joining the disabled community has opened up my mind more to all types of disabilities and the way people live with theirs.
Its a sad life to not broaden your knowledge or horizons of the lives of people different from you.
Maybe thats what Boo’s parents and so many people online today need to realise.
@Long Schnozzed Tribesman You mean her being lesbian?
@Long Schnozzed Tribesman Whatever
“I refuse to be invisible” *walks away without seeing her mother*
As she should. If she's gonna have an attack because she can't handle her daughter being herself she may as well walk away.
@G are you okay? Her mom didn't respect her, so why should she? And she canw ear whatever she wants...? Yikes.
Some people just aren't worth your time no matter who they are to you. If her mother was going to be so upset over her ""costume"" rather than focusing on the fact that after years of not seeing her daughter she came back to her to see her one last time; then it isn't worth walking in there. There's a reason boo left in the first place, why walk right back into it after all those years?
Her mother wouldn’t see HER, though; just like her dad doesn’t see HER. They see a disappointment. A failure. And they want HER to disappear so “she” can be acceptable in their eyes.
Damn! I thought the dad was on her side but whole time he was on mother’s side😒
i feel like he had the right intentions of making the mother happy before she dies, but it still feels wrong to tell someone to change
you can see that the dad's written to love both dearly, but when both characters had so many differences, boo's father had to find a happy medium.
The limits of a moderate.
This is just an idea of mine, but I don't the dad hates his daughter's (aka boos) lifestyle nor does he completely like it either. I think he's indifferent with whatever his daughter does, but just maybe just this once (while her mom is dying in there) just to wear some other casual clothes. Nothing fancy hopefully but just kinda look presentable is all. At least from I think.
@Backup Jay okayy?? it is abt her cause he literally stopped her and told her she HAD to change. to see her dying mom.
Perfect empowering scene! I Stan with Boo. She finally choose herself. She finally stood up for her inner child and decided to start truly living! To all the girls that are seeing this and have or will be through this, if you're old enough to provide for you and be safe, don't wait for a second to choose to start living fully because you're fear of the hurt of rejection. Let me break it down for you, by denying a part of you, you're rejecting yourself not only in the presence of others but every single second of your life, so you're already hurting before even experiencing that hurting you're so scared of!
You're being didn't came to earth to be dead, it came to live. We each came alone, and alone we go, so our conscious choices make our life, there's thing we "can't choose", so the one we can we must choose for ourselves. If others are not happy with it, is their choice, their picture perfect, their illusion of control of other human beings. People should and can not own other people! So go be you, go live your life! No one else can do it like you can!
she came to see her mom before she passes, and all he cares about is how she looks?
Yep wear a clown suit 😂
because he knew what his wife's reaction would be. right or wrong, he knows it wouldn't go well. All that would happen is mom would freak out, boo would feel insulted and hurt, and then everyone leaves unhappy. vs trying to stop that from happening by asking her to change, which is also kind of insulting. There is just no way to really win here
Lying on my death bed I'm not sure I could worry that much about what "failures" I feel about my kid. At least she came despite all the moms bs.
This scene had me crying.
me too
no one gets the privilege of being themselves all the time...yeah but we all should, I mean otherwise our whole world is so damn wrong and crooked
The world is gonna be wrong and crooked anyways. I see what her dad is saying and he’s right, but to compare her entire wardrobe to his work uniform in this sense was a bit ridiculous imo.
I would really be interested in hearing Lea DeLauria's backstory too. She's immensely talented.
Yes she is. But as a real life butch, she goes through this shit everyday. And she's about to turn 64.
this one scene is enough to show why orange is the new black is the best show that is ever created!
I think part of the reason it's so rewatchable is all the characters that have their own story and motives. Like, I watch it loving Daya's character and the next time I love Boo's character :)
Slow down buddy lol. Season 6 was crap
@@keytrononit3 Season 7 gets worse with the whole ICE thing along with other things. But watching Blanca in tears in the season 6 finale made me cry so bad. She really wanted to start over with her boyfriend Diablo.
I wouldn’t go that far.
It makes me SO mad that there are "parents" like this. I don't care if my daughter grows up to be gay, trans, has purple hair, piercings covering her body, etc. She is MY DAUGHTER that I gave birth to. The amazing daughter that I bonded with that gave me the best years of my life. We do not have to agree with what our children do, but dang it, LOVE THEM. There is a way to disagree with them and not support a lifestyle you don't agree with and STILL love them, not abandon them! There are many more people out there that never even had the chance to have children! MY daughter is my world and my whole life! IF you've grown up Christian, that is fine, but we are NOT to abandon our children. If anything, we are supposed to embrace them MORE and show them the unconditional love that JESUS shows us every day in spite of our flaws and in spite of our sin!! At the end of our lives, what ever way we lived is between us and God. It makes me so upset that a Mother could just write off her own daughter. I could NEVER do that!!
Unfortunately there are still parents that reject their children because of their lifestyle and it sucks
@@geligel1991 Sexuality is not a lifestyle.
@@Noa...... okay for the sake of conversation..doesnt matter how I explain sexuality or lifestyle .this is a TV show .however for this dialogue/scene it will HIT everyone who feels the same.way boo felt. Or side with the mom dying..I'm.just saying that Boo felt like an outsider with the way her mom treated her. Since the beginning..her dad was more compassionate toward her (thank GOD) and I wished boo's mom met her halfway that's all.. it the loneliest feeling when children feel rejected by their parent(s )😢
Yes 🥰
the last part broke my heart.😭😭😭😭
If it was just a costume they wouldn’t have had a problem with it. They know what they were really asking
I have very different parents, so as someone who doesn't feel like this is relatable, I still appreciate and am happy for her. Awesome job (doesn't have to be relatable to be understood 👍🏻)
Boo was always my favorite 💕 be yourself and never apologize.
My mum acted like me watching drag race made me feminine, as if I wasn’t putting on dresses and knew I was into other guys from the start, I’d like to have some closure but she’s a narcissist and is telling people I’m bi now as her way of coping, I’m sick of it I’m just gonna act as gay as I feel and nobody is gonna stop me anymore. Also my mum once looked me in the eye and told me I deserved to be raped because I didn’t leave an abusive relationship in time, as if she hadn’t broken me into a state where all I thought I was good for was being someone else’s emotional punching bag.
i still don't understand how she got arrested...
Same.
Isabella Blu I thought it was gambling, running a sportsbook
I feel the whoke flashbacks are hinting on anger issues
There's a bar scene where she makes a bet with the bartender and when he isn't looking she takes the money that she gave him back. I just assumed that one day she got caught stealing something important.
She was a bookie
I mean she had on a white tee shirt and a gray cut odd hoodie with pants. Women wear that!
Lea's eyes are fucking gorgeous
She's got like New York's finest hairdressers too.
Out of all the brief backstories we see in the show Boos is one of the most saddest backstory
Seriously? She had a good home and wasn't abused. Her parents let her wear whatever she wanted to school except for ONE day. No wonder everyone calls young people snowflakes.
@@niyah___ has all the privileges? She's a bunch of lesbian. That is one of the most unaccepted lesbians in the world. Sure a lot of people hate gay people. Men and women both. But they hate but she women and they hate feminine men more. I guarantee you she probably got beaten up a lot at school I was treated like shit at school. But of course they probably didn't show that. And since she is so much older than I am I guarantee you that back in the decade when gay people weren't even accepted again to you she was beaten up and mistreated. It's only fairly recently that gay people have had a type of privileges. Because for decades hell centuries they have been denied any privileges whatsoever.
@@LB-gz3ke actually she didn't have a good home. Because the one person that's supposed to love you the most hated you for who you were and could not accept you for who you are. That isn't a good home. And by the way she was abused verbally and emotionally and mentally. Her mother wanted her to feel like shit for who she was and wanted her to become more like what her mother wanted her to become. That isn't being a snowflake. So yes that is incredibly sad. Because she had no one in the whole world except for her dad. But her dad was too much of a pushover to stand up for his own daughter.
Compared to like Suzanne’s, compared to Diaz no not at all
....is it thought?
Amazing. powerful. Learn to open your arms to people, not the "idea" of people
She's not even wearing anything bad (not that it matters, I'm saying that the outfit she's wearing isn't over-the-top like wearing a Halloween costume like the dad is basically referring to her outfit) The clothing Boo is wearing a gender neutral outfit, most people would wear this. Her parents are making such a big damn deal out of it. I can't believe how some parents make such a big deal out of clothing. Parents wonder why kids go no contact and never visit, because they don't accept their children for who they are and then they grow up with religious trauma, trust issues, and internalized self hatred & homophobia against themselves.
I fucking love Lea Delaria 😍
Laura Regan you ever see her on matlock back in the day?
That was the weakest hug I have ever seen. Ugh, those type of hugs bother me so much.
Pygmy Puff oh no mooore feelings.
They're so awkward and you feel like the person doesn't want to be hugging you.
I never understood parents like this.
I tell my kid as long as he's happy, productive, not on drugs, his partner treats him right, and the relationship is loving and healthy idgaf who he dates/marries.
As long as your kid can stand on their own two feet in adulthood, aren't on drugs or in prison and living a productive life you've done your job as a parent. Everything else is none of your business unless it's affecting them negatively.
This scene broke my heart!
Yes, i was sorry for dad.
To all the little peoples wondering if the world is all bad I can promise you the world beyond it's not. You WILL fine people who love you. People who dont mind the hand you want to hold or the people you grow old with. I promise. 💙💙💙
I understand the father’s point of view. I do.
It’s ok Big Boo. You be yourself.
Maybe if her parents accepted her she would have been so angry and so extra and she they might have found a middle ground
I feel sad for both parties
She just wants to be herself
This doesn’t explain anything how she go to jail I’m lost
I think it may be assault, through out the show a scene comes up and she had fought a couple times over hateful people.
I can feel her😣😥😢
*Well these are my good chucks pop*
Awww I really liked her dad though ...
My favorite episode❤
Jeans, grey hoodie and gold chain... the horror! If a pretty and thin woman was wearing it, they would think it an acceptable outfit, so this is actually pretty realistic of the real world 😂
This is so sad ;(
Why she get locked up tho?
do i think he wanted to push her away? no, he looked quite relieved she was there, he knew how her mother was growing up and he was trying to keep the peace in her final moments, do i see why boo is angry? yes, because she shouldn’t have to change and she’s tired of it. But i can also see why boos dad sorta popped off; he doesn’t really have much time to meet her in the middle this time around, he’s clearly showing remorse while she rants about it, but he let her go because he wasn’t gonna push the issue or make her do that if she really didn’t want to, and if it was that big of a deal to her. he respected her but he also respected his wife. y’all really gotta see it from a different perspective aha
What did boo do to get locked up?
Well that's true. I don't get to wear MY clothes most of the week. Office jobs need you to look respectable-like lol. I look like a clown during weekdays, I hate it
like i love boo, i get she only wants to be herself and not put on her mask but i mean come on its how the world works, we all do it, your not special, we all have responsibilities we need to take care of move on and shit
but seeing her mom isn't some office job?..
@@para-yw9dn but come on it's just to fckin make her happy, why does she have to define who she is by the way she dress can't she be the mature one ? Clearly her mom is in the wrong but also Boo could of handled it much better, his dad was the one who's right honestly.
Not the same thing at all. Did you not listen to her monologue!?!
She’s dying and he thinks her…what? Wearing a hoodie and having short hair is gonna put her mom over the edge?
I like so much ❤
Fucking love her hair
This made me so sad so so sad
I can see where the dad is comming from but yea....he could have handeld it better
Lunsla calling her a costume. Definitely couldve been handled better lol
💔💔💔💔 geez I get it but damn her looks ain’t more important then the situation at hand????
Both sides have good points and saying that one side is all right or all wrong is simply ridiculous
Well said.
I wouldn’t fucking care about my parents after they choose to not accept me for 42 fucking years..
Boo and her dad look the same age! 😂 couldn’t they have found a much older actor to play her dad?
This is so sad😪
Couldnt stand boo form the sec she sold red out .
Delaria delivered
Philip Cruz yes!
Why do they look same age tho
ariana ghandi What in the actual fuck is wrong with you? Weight does not have anything to do with this woman’s question nor this scene. I seriously hope you are not this shallow outside of TH-cam. And honestly, You may want to take away something from this scene.
You could be a size 0 and have a heart that only has greed, ignorance, jealousy, and zero sympathy inside.
OR you could be a size 20 and have a heart bigger than most filled with love, acceptance and quality that most twig people like you don’t seem to have.
Think before you speak or in this case- TYPE.
@@madison475c someone made a shit comment and you just spent your time doing what? Fixing them? Probably not. Ill give you some words to live by and im not trying to shit on you for what you did because i agree with what you said.
But before arguing with someone, just take a minute to think, is this ignorant ass capable of understanding another point of view? If the answer is no, leave it alone, let the world swallow them out of karma.
In this case, id say he is not, and you should just continue on with your day, dont let interneters fire you up, just be happy for yourself because you know youre better.
Matthew Cardinal well this comment is ironic
I agree wity father
I cried
Idc if my mom was about to die I would throw on a damn chicken suit if it meant I’d get to see her before she died.
Zoe Rae Well the thing is you shouldn’t have to change your clothes and who you are in order to do that. if you mom cares more about your appearance and other people’s perceptions than seeing you one last time before she dies then I’m sorry but she has problems.
Even if it meant that your mother actually never really truly loved you. Because she never did love her daughter. She cared more about her image then she did about her own daughter.
I know my dying mother wouldn’t care what I wore if it meant we got too see each other before she passed. That’s the whole point here, she should’ve accepted Boo for who she was
She should not have to do anything. Her Mother should be loving her because she is HER DAUGHTER.
It wasn't a matter of clothes, it was a matter of not accepting she had a butch lesbian daughter...she didn't love who her daughter was.
1:36- 1:50
😔
Do you mean beginning
I don’t understand why people think she has awful parents.. they didn’t hit or abuse her for god sake.. they (her mother) simply wanted her to dress formally. Yes I know we should all live as we want but boo was only thinking about herself and left her parents behind. They’re humans too and they deserve to be treated as people who just want their child to act the way they like it. If that’s wrong then is it also wrong that some parents educate their children to be academics or models or doctors?
They’re awful because they don’t accept her for who she is after 42 years.
They deny her existence for her sexuality and gender expression, and wants her to be invisible. That ia a form of mental abuse.
They are bad, but compared to others like penn's or aleida mom they aren't so bad
"I refuse to be invisible" daddy"~
Patton Oswalt
😂😂 I can't unsee that now
He's right though, most of us do have to wear a costume to get by. Why should some people get to shirk the rules of the game?
:(((((((((((((
Bruh the dad makes a perfect point tho
So hes saying that work might force a sort of professional style that robs us all of our individuality- BUT SHES AT THE HOSPITAL TO SEE HE MUM. Wtaf
If Boo had shown up in a regular t-shirt and jeans this argument would not have happened. Of course, Boo shouldn't have to accommodate or tolerate anyone's homophobia. But geez, he just wanted her to not upset his terminally ill wife who wasn't suddenly going to get over her deep seated traditionalist issues in the next 5 minutes. He wasn't asking Boo to show up as a Stepford Wife, so she came off as frustratingly unreasonable in this scene
@@TheJadedJames I mean - she is dressed pretty casually but not in anything shocking. You think she would have been ok with seeing her if her sweat shirt was less ripped? 😐
@@carlingnugent Be serious. You know what would offensive about her outfit to conservative busybodies like her mother, and how simply it would be to curb that without dressing "feminine". She could have just not shown up to the hospital at all if she was going to act this way. I sympathize with Boo that her mother never accepted her and probably pressured her to be something she wasn't for most of childhood as the other flashback shows. That wasn't a fair situation to grow up with. But in this scene, she is being plainly unreasonable and I just feel bad for her dad that this fight has to be re-hashed while his wife dies in the other room.
@@TheJadedJames I feel for the dad too - but he's wrong. In this scene Boo arrived to see a woman who hardly loves her and doesnt accept her and is immediately told that her fairly normal casual clothes arent good enough. Its thinly veiled way to say Boo isn't good enough. Her dad's back himself into his corner after years of trying to "make peace". He never had the balls or the patience to help them confront their issues. He's dysfunctional and helped create this mess.
@@TheJadedJames except that's what her mother would have wanted. Her mother would have wanted her to do the whole shebang be ultra feminine and wear makeup and everything. Cuz that's what her mother would have wanted. She wanted something extravagant.
Y'know I get boo's situation, I really do but I can't help but feel like she should have just changed. If my mom (Gods forbid) had treated me like that but I still cared enough to go see her in the end, what's the harm in doing what she wished just one time
And shouldn't parents love their child unconditionally? Imagine caring more about someone's identity over at least being there for one last time?
@@Noa...... in an ideal world they would be not every parent does love unconditionally
@@jean-louisecarroll2447 Then some people don't deserve to be parents. It is worse when your own parents reject you. Let alone society as whole.
@@Noa...... I agree, but as I said in my original comment, I still think she should have changed to see her one last time. I'm transgender and I can't tell you how many times I've had to make allowances and change into "girl" clothes for an occasion. As much as it sucks, and it really does, my close don't define who I am
@@jean-louisecarroll2447 Clothes are an extension of self; gender expression is an extension of self. In the past, her dad convince her to wear the dress for her mother and grandmom. And even society hates her masculinity. She probably let anger run over her head. I can place myself in her shoes.
I love boo but she pisses me off so much here. Her saying she had to fight to be who she is, and not dress how she isnt inside and everything. Like yes, that would be valid except from childhood they let you cut your hair short and wear boys clothes and all they wanted was one day where she looked feminine. Dad had a point, no one gets to be who they want all the time and if you chose that then you have to understand it comes at a sacrifice.
It would be like if she refused to wear a uniform at a McDonalds. You bite the bullet for shit that matters.
You should always be true to yourself, always...but she acts like her parents were gay bashing and she had to hide her whole life. Nah man, you been proudly you since childhood unlike many unfortunate others.
Poor writing choice imo
Just put the fuckin' dress on. I dress my dog up like R2D2 on Halloween, that doesn't make him a robot. If I really like skinny jeans and lipstick it still wouldn't kill me to wear a suit to a job interview. Get off the damned soapbox.
I actually think it’s quite a childish way of acting.. I have had exactly the same fights with my parents all my life! And I fully agree that on regular days she can be who she wants. But her parents sacrifices how they feel to let her do that everyday. How come she can’t return the sacrifice once a year.. That’s how I coped, both make efforts.
The mother did not do anything to accept her gender expression and sexuality. Why do you make it seem like acceptance would be such a sacrifice otherwise?
180 because acceptance is not given to everyone. My whole family is against most of what I am, it’s in their core. I a being raised your whole life with some principles and then being told you have to think differently. Racism and homophobia can be changed of course! But it’s hard, in the way that I could not change you for being accepting. I don’t know if you see what I am saying. It’s not excusable of course! But I’m just saying it can be a sacrifice for some people! And it’s a good one because eventually it will make them grow and be accepting! And it won’t be an effort anymore. But right now, it is.
180 than again you are right her mother has never accepted it! So yeah the mom had it coming
Finally a sensible comment. She was so selfish that she oicked her costume over mum
Although I agree with Boo and support her idea of not being ashamed of who you really are, there is something that I don’t understand and don’t support at all. SHe decided not to be a little “girly” for her mom at her last moments, but when it comes to money, she was okay with changing a bit/sort of betraying her own beliefs. I mean, I know that money is vital regarding the fact she is in prison, but does money appear to be the way more important than family for her? Even though she was frequently insulted by her mothe,
Doing that was completely her choice on her own terms. Putting on a mask you hate for the sake of people who’re supposed to love you unconditionally is very different.
How can you even compare the two? Regarding her mother, she's the one not accepting her daughter because she's not the woman she wanted her to be.
Putting on a front to get money from bigots with a political agenda isn't the same as acceptance from your parents who are supposed to have unconditional love.
I totally agree with you Kamila. Also, why does the mom have to like the way she dresses.. bullshit. You can love someone and hate the way they dress. I'm sure my mom wouldn't like it if I showed up with a mohawk or whatever. If I hadn't seen her for years and then all of a sudden showed up like a bucket full of shock I wouldn't be surprised if my dad said the same thing and he'd be damn right. I'm a total tomboy myself and had my fair share of fights over clothing and stuff but these scenes to me were a shitty example of serious repression and or psychological abuse.
@RhysTheGraveDigger I find that an extremely selfish way of thinking.. (in relation to Boo's backstory footage). In fact, it's narcissistic.
@@BaskiHighT it's not about liking how she dresees. That's what you and Kamila don't seem to get.
Name one parent that has liked everything their kids have done..?
It's about loving your kids inspite of the choices they make, how they express themselves or who they are as people.
The test of unconditional love is embracing people regardless of differences. Clearly her mother did not show her that.
Why would seeing her like that be a shock? It's not new and it is clear that her father would rather his wife be presented a facade than see her one and only child before she died.
Yea, it's narcissism already, but not Carrie's. Carrie (Boo) isn't the one demanding her mother be a version of Boo before she sees her.
Her dad wasn’t asking her to stop being butch, just to make her mothers final moments more peaceful. He’s right no one gets to be themselves all the time, boo isn’t the only one suffering, she’s asking everyone to accommodate her but not willing to change to accommodate her family, even for a moment before her mums death? She also could’ve just insisted on seeing her mother anyways, but instead got so insulted and walked off. Kinda childish
I would agree, but her mother NEVER accepted her, not on Christmas not on the weekend, NEVER if she had her way shed have her act and dress like a person she isn't...forever, without ounce thinking of her happiness, the least she can do at this point is come to terms that she isn't who she hoped she would be, and say goodbye to her child...if my kid were a murderer thief or the freaking anti Christ, id still want to see them at the end.
@@emokid732 exactly, but the mother didn’t say I don’t want to see you, she’s probably too weak. The dad made a suggestion and Boo stormed off, so there’s no chance of goodbyes, reconciliation, the mother to say sorry or ANYTHING ANYMORE. I just wish Boo went inside.
I agree. She was only selfish
She looks older than her dad
Wrd😂
I mean come on, I think he is right. He isn't asking her to be someone else. He's just asking her to do something that would make her mother happy for even a little moment I mean she's dying for God sake can't she just pretend for like two minutes. Instead of forcing everyone to accept her as she is, she knows his mother won't so might as well make her happy. It doesn't mean that that would permenatly change her identity of whatever. I think he's very comprehensive, if he thinks her mother can't handle it then he's doing what's right he himself isn't judgy or anything, he even tells her to do whatever the fuck she wants. Instead boo decides to go and make him a whole speech about how she hates not being accepted, but she's saying this to the wrong person. His father couldn't care less about what she does, he was open to everything. But he also knew what his mother liked and didn't.
imagine losing the chance of having a daughter just because you are homophobic. it would break my heart to know that i will die without talking to my child for the last time
Im gay and would have changed. Her mom was from a different time and ignorant. Sucks but it is what it is. I would have put on diff clothes to say goodbye despite her bigotry because that's my mom. Lifes not fair.
I wouldn't have, and I say this with the experience of not only nearly losing my mom at nineteen, but also with her last words to me almost being "Shut the fuck up!"
Like the dad said "its one day" - putting some different clothes on to make her mum happy wouldnt have changed who she was inside. I would have done it.
doedelzak its putting on an item of clothing for one day! I am not that sensitive to get angered over wearing something that would make my mother happy in her final moments. If you are truly secure in who you are then i dnt see the issue. But agree to disagree i suppose :)
doedelzak as i said agree to disagree. Im just saying for me i would do it. Its ok for me to be OK with it, as it is for you NOT to be. Everyone is different.
I wouldn’t have wanted the last thing my mother sees to be her daughter lying to her. If you can’t love your child for being themself then you don’t deserve to have them put on a show for you. Respect begets respect. That mother doesn’t have a child, she has an idea of a child.
He's right
He is and so is she.
Her father has a point about the costume of suit and tie. She is very selfish and could dress herself that would not make her mother upset for one day. But she wants to provoke.
It is not a costume.
Boo, Daya and Linda are the worst characters in OITNB
Boo has to be the most annoying character of all time.
horrible opinion
This was so hard to watch. Mostly because it's just clothing. She couldn't just be the bigger person and play dress up for a day to have one last moment with her mother, it had to be about her.
Her dad is soo wrong. Also, there's plenty of people that can always be themselves. Not every job calls for a stuffy suit and tie.
He has his point.
If I were her I would have just changed my cloths and went to say goodbye to my mom. I have a butch sister so I understand all of this but what I always tell my sister you'll never ever change thier mind about this so in weddings and family dinners it won't kill you to wear a skirt just for one day for them so she does everyone happy in the end its just close inside your still the same person
NO NAME you are a very shallow person
Kbear2097 You do not know me and I am not shallow at all. You can disagree with someone by replaying to the things they said rather than attacking the person who said the thing you disagree with that's how an argument should go so if you disagree with me please tell me what you disagree on and I would respect your opinion but there is no need for name calling and accusing and making things personal.
Yeah, she should have just put on something less masculine real quick. I have a friend who was born into a muslim family, but she went the secular route. Still, she wears a scarf on her head when she visits her grandmother and other old people in her family. She doesn't like it at all, but it's just easier. She ditches it before she's even in the car.
DaPopoloinParadise Yeah I understand I'm Muslim myself and I do the same thing when I'm in presence of religious men to not make them feel uncomfortable
Your question is one that I actually spent a lot of time thinking about, especially when I was a teenager and basically in denial about the kind of person I wanted to be.
I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that sometimes you'll never change their minds. In those situations where your own personal identity comes up against the beliefs of others and their expectations of you, you have a choice. You can do what you want, or you can do what they want. For me, and I think for a lot of butches, we arrive at our identity through so much soul-searching, confusion, discrimination, and self-hatred. And then you get into these situations, where it feels like you're asked to "undo" all that hard work- for what? To make other people happy? Other people who don't even treat you as if they like you? That becomes a really tough sell.
Thinking about it, she's pretty bratty about the whole situation. Her father was right. You can't have everything you want all the time if you want to connect with other people, sometimes we must make concession in order to work with other people. Being a self-centered person wouldn't work in a society.
Oh hush up. It's not about being self-centered.
Do you think this same argument would have happened if Boo showed up just a regular t-shirt and jeans?
@@laurengeorge4251 It is. Her arguement is always about how it's who she is and other people should accept that. If she's not self centerd she would find a way to compromise. We all do it everyday, you think an outfit is good but someone doesn't like it so you change a bit. The fact that she refuse to make her mother happy by at least wear what she wants her to wear is just stupid. I wear stupid clothes my parent buy me all the time, I hate it but I find a way to still make them happy by occasionally wearing it, especially when meeting them. It's not that hard to pretend for a few hours.
@@TheJadedJames Of course. Their whole arguement is just how she like to wear a boyish clotges and her mother doesn't want that. She's in her death bed for fuck's sake just do what she wants. You know she like feminime clothes so why she didn't even make an effort?
@@AlexS-oj8qf if someone doesn't like what i'm or someone else is doing then that's THEM.
i love the dad, i hate boo.
She couldn't have changed JUST to go in and see her mother? It's not like she was asked to change for the rest of her life. Geez... I just find that to be sort of selfish and immature. It's just clothes, put on a different outfit for a couple minutes. Nah I don't like her, her personality is shit. Good actress though.
Josefine Bliss It's not just that, it's what represents to put that costume, you wouldn't know how does it feels like
but the mother's not selfish and immature for refusing to see her daughter because of how she dresses? if "it's just clothes", then why does it mean so much to her mother? your logic is bullshit.
if a dying person is more concerned with what their kid is wearing, then the problem is with the mother, couldn't the mom JUST see her daughter?
I agree. I understand a teenager being stubborn about her clothes and hair, but this woman is 42. It's just CLOTHING. It doesn't fundamentally change anything about you. Wear slacks and a sweater for 10 minutes. Nope, can't do that cause I have to win this fight, childishness. Yes, her mom is childish about it too. So be the bigger person for one last time. That is how an adult "wins."
If her own parents wouldn't accept her why the fuck should she go see them?
Seriously, she couldn't have just put a jumper on? It was selfish of her too
The way her body shaped and her posture, she wouldn't look right in feminine clothes! Some people just don't fit certain norms! Like I wear women's pants from time to time and I look good in them because I have fat thighs for a guy! But I see certain gay dudes try to rock those same pants and it don't look right because they have chicken legs so the pants make ' em look anorexic 😂😂