After a relationship goes to sh*t the no contact rule is solid gold, either she comes back or you develop the habit of living without her, either way you win
Absolutely!!! Exactly what happened with my Ex..(literally an Ex..Husband after 40 yrs)..I stood up for myself and yes I was a bit harsh😢BUT! I'm 66 he's 71 ( but young at heart❤) I told him NUMEROUS times last year that after '22/'23 that were as I call them " clusterf**k years"( I'm not w/o a small amount of guilt..SMALL!) That 2024 is MY year..either your in my life or not.. No time for drama..lies..EXCUSES.. I "expressed" things in my way of course he didn't like it so he blocked me.. So 2 days ago I told "either BE A MAN and apologize for the hurt/pain..lies and excuses...etc" or just go away.." (SORRY SO LONG..had to get it out😢) i will NOT contact him until he can tell me he's ready to sit face to face and talk as adults and NOT put ALL blame on me..I've apologized.. So...balls in his court😊 He is the LOVE of my life..but have to set boundaries.. Ok! Thank you for listening..❤
Coach Lee, I have betrayed myself so many times in the past.. but this video is truely bringing back the faith I need and wished for for so long. You see, Coach, I needed reasurance and I had to get back on track.. so as I was listening to this video, it felt so good!! Your words, your profound understanding of what women like us go thru during break ups got me stronger.. Understanding that my value did not fade away just because I was feeling insecure and vulnerable. As one who had been broken up with, finally capturing the very essence of letting go - if not staying away - made me stronger and for the very first time, I am feeling whole and confident. Thank you Coach Lee.
I blocked my ex, best decision I ever made. He broke up with me during an argument, I gave him a chance to change his mind and he said no. I started packing my things and he storms into the room saying “aren’t you going to fight for us?!” after he just told me TWICE that he’s breaking up with me. About 6 months post breakup and I am so much happier without that toxic man, I’m finally free :)
Good going. I've been no contact with my ex girlfriend for about 30 days now. It was a 13 year relationship, so it hasn't been easy, but I'm not thinking about her quite as much anymore. When I do, I just remember all of the toxic things she did. (lying cheating, disrespecting me, using me, picking fights, and accusing me of cheating). That helps to temper my resolve. She denied cheating even though I found a screenshot she'd saved from a Snapchat conversation she was having with another man, talking about how great it was sleeping with her, and she wanted to again. The messages were recent, but he said she'd slept with him before we were together (over 13 years ago, so I don't buy that). Regardless, she was sexting other men, too, and I consider that cheating. She wouldn't have allowed me to do that, and I had no desire to. Anyway, it makes me happy that I no longer have to worry about her. 🙂
Hi just because you watched the vid and replied I think you are a real catch!! You have a heart, you care!!! I meet so many people who cry ME ME ME! all day long, Your higher power will bring you what you need so you can have what we all deserve. peace, love and joy!
Mine is an avoidant too. Very typical. We broke up 2 months ago after 13 years. I tried to reach out to have an actual conversation because the breakup was very short, rushed, and over the phone because I had to go to work but he has given me the silent treatment. It has now been three weeks of no contact and I’m sticking to it. I do think he eventually will reach out but I’m prepared that it might be a while before he does. You’ve got this and I’m praying that everything works out for you.
I went 2 months and then broke down. I’m glad I did because an avoidant wants to be wanted. We are back on good terms for now. I know he cares. He’s trying not to care. But I need him in my life. So this NC just isn’t for me
"...and it's actually the norm that you would hear from them within the first month and a half or two" is very reassuring, since post-rejection I went stock silent, ignoring breadcrumbs till she reached out with sincerity at 8 weeks minus 1 day (yes, I was counting) and was markedly more attentive and appreciative of me and what we'd had. Your instincts and advisories proved bang on! 🎯💥
@@ijv5567 I hope so too, man. But as Coach Lee and others say, it could be longer. What got me was how she seemed to sense the moment through the ether when I was finally okay with its being over, and that's when she got in touch with a personal message. Right when I didn't really need her any more...
@@videowilliams I guess that is what will happen. As if the universe knows and wants to mess with you. IF they finally reach out, it will be at the worst possible moment. Right before an important exam, or when you finally met someone else.
Anyone freshly in a breakup don't reach out please, after 3 months my ex said she did miss me but the things I have done after the breakup were worrying and probably why we aren't together. Don't reach out, don't call don't text don't buy the nice gifts, let them miss you don't push them away
Me please I don't know what to do. He never blocked me. Coz he knows I will keep calling him. But he ignored me And text. He keep our key to out house. I jeed help advice
Nothing warranty that if you don’t push them away they will stay. In my opinion the best is pass page. You are so much valuable and if someone don’t want to be with you better accepted
No contact for 2 years after 22 yr relationship. He monkey-branched & is still with her. No contact is for YOU, NOT them. Grow during this time & focus on yourself.
My ex hasn't reached out either. 2 years of no contact. 14 years together. She cheated and left me for him. Really bad part is he's a meth addict and has her on it I heard
@NathanStephens-ee9be can't fix someone like that and you dodged a hell of a bullet if she's dealing meth with a new person. Best you find out early than married with kids and she does this. Take it as a blessing she's gone.
9 years together, but the last 2 years she left for the same guy 3 times .She always regrets her decision , now I have no idea what to do take her back or let her go ,I do love her .but she can't play with my feelings . If coatch lee can answer this question. Thanks
She told me she didn’t see a future with me and that we should break up. I responded with grace, "Alright then, I wish you nothing but happiness in your future. Goodbye." I immediately cut off contact. It took her less than two days to reach out with trivial questions, likely to keep a connection alive. I remained calm and composed. When she called again two days later, I didn’t answer. I’m certain she’ll try contacting me again. One mustn't make it easy for those who mistreat them; bad behavior should have consequences. You can’t force someone to remain in your life, but you can make them understand your worth.
My ex and I have been broken up for 4.5 months. She immediately jumped to a rebound the same week we broke up. She has reached out 2 times but still with rebound. One month ago she called me and told me she missed me while with her rebound but she is still choosing the rebound. I did NOT reciprocate feelings. Don't do it. It gives them validation. Haven't heard from her for over a month now. So they do miss you especially as time goes on and when they might hear a song or drive by an old restaurant you went to or other triggers. They are human like you. BUT... Just because they miss you doesn't mean they will ever come back. Mine has reached out 2 times in no contact BUT she is still choosing her rebound for almost 5 months now. Even though I'm above this guy on EVERY level in life. Everyone is different. Some will come back and others won't. Mine will probably get married to her rebound. She is unhealthy emotionally. Especially how she was able to jump to another relationship so fast. I'm 4.5 months without her and I'm struggling to just go on a date. Let alone try to attach to someone. It takes a special kind of person to jump in the same week and be able to attach that fast. It's just odd.
I don't think your ex just jumped into a new relationship the same week she broke up with you. I hate to say this, but her new relationship had probably already started on some level before she broke up with you.
@@MDDR-io7nh I never got that vibe at all but she has known this guy since they were young so it wasn't a random person. They ran into each other during thanksgiving and they went out. She told me she felt like she was cheating when they finally went out on a date. So I definitely don't think they were seeing each other before then. But she had an idea of who she could just to. She doesn't know how to be alone. Has to be in a relationship.
Buddy I had the same deal ...two years solid committed relationship ...its too long to explain but 1 minute with me the next minute in bed of a guy 1 minute away! Like you I can't get my head around it unless you research passive aggressive covert narcissistic personality disorder.
Don't reach out, many times women make decisions based on emotions. Don't allow anyone to compare you to someone else, let them go....work on yourself and you will shine again.
Was with my partner 8 month, then we separated I took it really hard and tried alsorts to talk to him and persuade him to come back. I tried no contact but struggled sticking to it. Then thought I've mucked up he won't come came. Started trying to move on and stopped contacting him. Coming up to nearly 2 years apart I contacted him amd told him a letter had come through post I will post it through his letterbox amd he txt back asking if I wanted a coffee amd a catchup. I refused at first but then accepted. He admitted he still had feeling for me and didn't want things to fizzle out bad between us. He regretted the day he left. You don't know what you've lost until it's gone. After a few more coffee meetings we got back together. Been back together over a year now. Good luck everyone x
Facts also because they did not do the work on themselves, the rebound relationship falls through, and you look like an angel compared to the rebound. This is what happened to my ex-wife. She rebound to another relationship. I made no contact for eight months. Then we got divorced. After we got divorced, she called me many times until I answered and told me that she loved me and she was sorry. I gave her another chance, but things weren't the same, and I left this time. This was eight years ago. She has gotten married but was still calling until recently and had to put her azz on the block list😂😂😂
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.
No contact really works! It's gonna be so hard at first if you're the dumpee but as time goes by the hurt and anxiety loses its grip and you'll learn to grow on your own again. Work on your own weaknesses that you have made during the relationship (never rush things) and accept that you may have shortcomings on your end. My ex unblocked me on social media after 3 weeks of no contact and she is now sending "how are you?" texts every other day and I'm just replying very short messages with it. Stay strong and keep no contact and work on yourselves while you're at it. I hope that me and my ex can work things out in the coming weeks or months. 👌
@khalisz Update? Okay.. I never got back with my ex. She still is the same and she blames me for everything. I figured I don't need that kind of "partner" in my life so I moved on. But she only came back when I was already moving on and started going out on dates again. I think she got jealous? Idk. But we never got back together. There are a couple of breadcrumbs here and there but I never really paid any attention to it anymore. As for my lesson for that breakup? If your values don't match and boundaries are not being respected, it's not worth the time and effort bro, just move on. Better be single than be with the wrong person and suffer day-by-day.
@khalisz Update? Okay.. I never got back with my ex. She's still the same person who broke up with me and blames me for everything. I figured I don't need that kind of "partner" in my life. My emotions got ahead of me during the initial phase of the breakup and I begged for her to fix what we had. She started to tell me that she still loves me when I was already moving on and started dating again. I really don't know if she was sleeping around with anybody else during no contact, I really don't care anyways. As for the lesson on that breakup? If your values don't match and boundaries are never respected then it's not worth it bro, just move on. Exes do come back but better ask yourself if you still want to work it out with your ex when the "brain fog" has cleared up. Be a better you bro, there's someone else out there whose gonna step up and deserve every time and attention that you can give. Stay strong bros! ✌️
@@khalisz Update? Okay.. I never got back with my ex. She's still the same person who broke up with me and blames me for everything. I figured I don't need that kind of "partner" in my life. My emotions got ahead of me during the initial phase of the breakup and I begged for her to fix what we had. She started to tell me that she still loves me when I was already moving on and started dating again. I really don't know if she was sleeping around with anybody else during no contact, I really don't care anyways. As for the lesson on that breakup? If your values don't match and boundaries are never respected then it's not worth it bro, just move on. Exes do come back but better ask yourself if you still want to work it out with your ex when the "brain fog" has cleared up. Be a better you bro, there's someone else out there whose gonna step up and deserve every time and attention that you can give. Stay strong bros! ✌️
@khalisz Update? Okay.. I never got back with my ex. She's still the same person who broke up with me and blames me for everything. I figured I don't need that kind of "partner" in my life. My emotions got ahead of me during the initial phase of the breakup and I begged for her to fix what we had. She started to tell me that she still loves me when I was already moving on and started dating again. I really don't know if she was sleeping around with anybody else during no contact, I really don't care anyways. As for the lesson on that breakup? If your values don't match and boundaries are never respected then it's not worth it bro, just move on. Exes do come back but better ask yourself if you still want to work it out with your ex when the "brain fog" has cleared up. Be a better you bro, there's someone else out there whose gonna step up and deserve every time and attention that you can give. Stay strong bros! ✌️
Get a paid coaching call. He is totally worth it and so is Coach Ken! Their time is valuable as is yours, pay him for his time like the rest of have done.
I remember a time when I used to get anxious when he doesnt call or text me for 7-8 hours. Now its been just 10 days of no contact and I dont feel that bad. I dont know if he will ever come back to me, but it has taught me that Im not gonna be that anxious girl anymore. (Updates in replies)
Same here! I’m learning to regulate my emotions and take deep breaths when I’m feeling anxious. I do think eventually God will bring my ex back to me but only when I’m ready and have healed. Yes, from the breakup, but more so from past childhood traumas that have caused me to be so anxious. Sending prayers. 🤍
Came here to update : I reached out once and it didnt do any good. He was in his relief stage, said he was working on himself which made me sad and a bit angry to see him happier. So immediately went to NC again, this time I'm adamant to keep NC. He has not reached out after that. Total silence from him, but I am coping better with it now. Some days I forget him for hours which is better than nights I spend crying for no reason.. today is day 32 of NC.
Update: Day 45 of NC and nothing new. I'm feeling worse these days, keep hoping for something to happen.. just wondering whether I should reach out again. Very conflicted, but at least knowing that he doesn't want me anymore will help me fully move on. I want to reach out so that I can come out of my own delulu..
She came back around after no contact...no change in character..so I went back into to no contact...and its done...I wish her well..but it's over...and I'm at peace with it
14 years of never married relationship. We both did many mistakes that could have been avoided she broke up with me on her birthday and i was not pestering her and have been in no contact for morethan a month. Guess what she exactly miss dialed me on 30 day mark and i am sure that was no mistake. Still staying strong with nc so if we get back together we are at equal terms.
Omg I loved when he said that it caught me off guard, but he’s right. He helped my ex comeback before and he helped me stay in no contact from his videos.
I want to tell you how much you’ve helped me in the past.. your work and expertise has not gone unnoticed.. Listen and learn. And it’s ok if they are gone. accept it . there is a good reason even if you don’t understand it. And now I found someone that truly cares .
8 months NC...no texts, calls or social media from day 1. So yeah they dont always miss you. But it certainly works for finding yourself again. So much stronger now
Coach Lee, I've been watching your videos for the last year and a half after being broken up with for the first time. You have given me so much insight and I wish I learned what I know now sooner. I have been in no contact with my ex for over a year now and I have kept contact to a bear minimum so that she can feel the break up. I've seen her a couple of times by coincidence and we had a couple small interactions and she has been polite but the conversations are short. She has told our mutual friends that she wants to be cool with one another and she will ask them what is going on with me but when I run into her she seems very timid and looks sad whenever we make eye contact. I'm not sure what to do but in regards to no contact but I'm going to stick with no contact until she reaches out.
In one of his videos Lee says that at a certain point it is okay to take a small risk and make a move on them. Some people are just too afraid to ever reach back out if they feel like they hurt you. Don’t say you love them and all that but make casual flirts, touch them, or offer to get lunch. You already let no contact make them miss you. They might just need a bit of help with the next step. The most you risk is sending them back into the relief stage, but who cares at a certain point
@@ijv5567 In my opinion it's whenever you feel like they have truly gotten used to life without you. Definitely try to go for at least 3 months though. As long as they don't hate you, they don't get married to someone else, and they aren't (god forbid) dead then you can always try again later. Timing it is not an exact science, it's up to you on what feels best. I would say it's better to come way after the dust settles than before.
If they left because they were cheating on you and believes they found someone better, if she/he tries to come back, DO NOT take them back. DO NOT They didn’t change
I owe this man Coach Lee my life in many ways. I dated 4 narcissistic women in a row. I was destroyed. However, Coach Lee guided me every day with his videos and his unselfish help on TH-cam. I owe him more than words can say. He is the real deal and a great human being ! Thank you Coach Lee !
Coach Lee and all- I had to come back to this channel with an update, so here it is, I hope this helps someone: After going no contact for six weeks she called me to meet for breakfast. We are back together, with complete awareness, and are on a good path. At 47 years old I had never really evaluated myself before. She is the first woman who made me take an honest moral inventory of myself. I wrote her a sincere apology letter shortly after the breakup mid-March 2024 and then texted and emailed her for about two months after with no reply. After getting back together in early July she said, "The apology letter was wonderful and every communication you made after that pushed me away". My finally giving her space for six weeks (which she had asked for up front!) made the difference. It was so counter-intuitive to not stay connected with her. Anyone reading this, I hope it helps you. Own up to your mistakes, keep your side of the street clean, and if the connection is truly there, there will be a reconnection. Thanks, everyone. Thank you, Coach Lee. -David
Tq coach Lee...I felt so calm&cool..with ur advice.. thx for helping others in needs coz emotional feelings can drive anyone nuts&made anybody desperate for their ex or couple
Avoidants don't "state" anything (Safe to call him Avoidant as he's admitted he's done this all his life). They disappear and call it "cooling off" when they come back 3 months later. Very little advice addresses these cretins, let alone helps with them. 18 months, engaged and on disappearance #3. F this. I'm moving on.
He left me abruptly, out of the blue, over the phone. The whole conversation lasted less than 20 min. I didn't get any closure, aside from some vague, nonsense excuses. I just had time to ask him to mail me my stuff I had left at his place. So when the stuff arrived, I sent him an email I wrote. It was rather long, but they were things I really had to say. Some things about our relationship, and some things about how I saw things, how precious the connection was to me, and how the blindsided breakup affected me. No blaming or anger, but I made sure he knows how traumatic it is being dumped out of nowhere after a whole year full of adventures and memories, without even seeing the person. I sent it. He said he got it and will reply when he has time to process everything. Maybe I shouldn't have sent it, but not saying those things didn't seem right to me. My conscience is clear now, and I won't bother him again. If he lost feelings and couldn't even face me, or found someone else... It's sad, but out of my hands now. I miss the person I thought I was with.
It’s been 9 months since the breakup and 6 months strong of no contact. We were together for almost 6 years. Remember they don’t always come back and that’s my situation with an avoidant.
Coach Lee!! You are the best man you have helped me so much over the years. I had a recent break up but it has been going a lot better then past relationships due to what I learned in your breakup emergency kit.
Coach Lee, I called my ex after 2 and a half months of no contact. But after letting the phone ring 2 times I hung up out of fear. He texted me immediately saying sorry he missed my call and asked if everything was OK. I didn't know what to text back so I just said it was an accident he believed me because I have a relative with the same name as his. He said that if I ever did need him I could call anytime especially if I ever needed anything. This was a complete difference from the last conversation we had. It's almost as if my value went up in his mind because he never responded immediately in the past and was certainly not that nice. I decided to go back into not contact since I feel it is working. I imagine that is what I should do until he is the one to break no contact, right?
I think NC worked opposite for me. I pushed him even further.I broke no contact by mistake through a mutual friend. I was in strategic NC for 4 months. He was neither worried before and now he is even more relaxed and carefree. He totally has moved on. Break up had no effect on him. He is happy and enjoying only I am suffering.I was not messaging but he even blocked me after 4 months. Why only I am suffering?
because you have a heart that cares! What helps me is getting busy, I had to drag myself to stay busy, it was painful to me, but now I am getting me back!
I think blocking is an emotional move. If he’s so carefree, why is he so bothered that he looked your number up in his phone (why does he still have your number?)to make a move and block you? He’s salty that you haven’t reached out in 4 months. Opposite of love is indifference, not whatever emotion he had behind the blocking
@@stopandsmelltheflowers26 may be . He had blocked me on Instagram. A new employee has joined the work and he was on the 9th cloud as he already broke it that he is going to date and marry that beautiful girl because she belongs to his particular caste. I kept on thinking whether this man has any heart ? Does not he know that I am just in the same place and listening all this. He is not narc but just immature but the thing is my heart is wrenching and the reason is him.
Do they even miss you when they get into a new relationship 2 months after the breakup? They hang out with them all the time, hang out with their friends, everything seems to be going great with them.
People make mistakes I was with my partner for 4 years and broke up with her because we kept repeating the same mistakes all I wanted was for her to realise its been 2 months now im trying to be the best version for her and myself it's been hard she was my person the connection we had was like no other and I stuffed it all up because of communication I pray everyday she'll get in contact but she probably won't she probably hates me but all you can is better yourself for yourself and try your best not too look back as pain for as it is take the break up as a sign from god to be the best version of yourself stay positive
Hard but be strong. I drink texted him on the dating site we met on. 😢 then I blocked him so I won’t feel tempted on both the site and cell. I know he will eventually text me but I don’t want to take him back. 😢
anyone disregard's me anymore I'm just done walk away is easier been in no contact 5 months just shows she don't care why give someone a thought that threw you away
He wasn't very good looking, was an alcoholic, had financial struggles, and had trouble keeping hygienic. I stayed because he was good to me. As soon as that ended, he stopped talking to me, and left, I was blindsided. I don't want anyone who doesn't treat me well and honestly I need higher standards. Everyone keeps telling me now that they didn't like him for me and I could do better. I'm 4 days into no contact while still getting my stuff from our place. Haven't seen him. Let's see if he realizes in time that he had a great person in his life and does better. I'm losing interest fast.
I want to go NC but she keeps contacting with me with little favors like looking for her lawn chairs and flower pots etc. I told her at first I didn’t want to break up and this was her idea.
You tell her you’re not interested in friendship. If she changes her mind to let you know. If you don’t walk away she has no reason to treat any differently than she is because YOURE NOT GONE!
5th week and I started to see things the way they are again, I was in a fantasy where she was perfect and SHE IS NOT, now she’s chasing me and video calling me at night on the weekends
@@kaylarose3833 Absoolutely ! . After all this time ( it was very hard and hurtful), I feel better than ever and I don’t see her the same way anymore, I think I’m ready to move on 😎
@@koragoalsport2362 Don't give up. Be silent from now on. I know it's hard. But the only way to make them attracted to you now is to show you're worth more than this.
So she broke up with me 4 days ago after being together 10 months but suggested we could keep casually dating as she'll miss me 🤔...I said no thanks that's an odd suggestion for someone they don't see a future with. At least the break up wasn't bad (no pleading or begging on my part) and told her I thought our relationship was great with no drama and we were good together, so I guess the no contact begins 😅 Only mistake I perhaps made was when she took me by surprise and asked if I'm going to take time to heal or go back on the dating apps...I said probably the latter (but I don't actually intend to meet anyone yet, just kind of wanted her to know she wasn't irreplaceable and I had options)...wish me luck and stay focused everyone, you CAN do this and will come out stronger either way!
Update: I just got my stuff delivered back and she left a note with it saying she's sorry it didn't work out and she's not sure why she felt the way she did but just couldn't give "her all" just now to a relationship which is what I deserve (she has kids and a bit of life/job stuff that added stress) and that she will miss me and treasure the memories we made...🤔🙄
Same boat, my ex broke up with me 10 days ago after 10 mo th relationship. It was great, no drama we made a lot of experiences and fun together. But according to her I don't express the level of affection she is used to and she used this as the main catalyst for her decision. Like you I didn't plead or beg, I explained to her that I know how I feel about you and that it frustrats me that she can't see that. But I think this was just an excuse, she simply lost romantic feelings for one reason or another. I'd say the break up was healthy, I told her I didn't agree with it and she ever had a change of heart to reach out and see where I'm at, and I left ot there.
@@jerescot Are you in NC then? I think we've got a good chance of them trying to make contact with us again at some point! I think mine will be once she has her life settled down a bit but that could be months as she was talking about moving for a job/to be nearer her parents an extra 30mins away from our current distance so not a big deal...
@@pacman-zk8uk I am in NC now yeh. She gave the offer of friendship i told her I wouldn't know how be around her the way I see her would be too difficult so I passed on the offer. I don't think she'll back to rekindle, she made it quite clear that she things I'm an amazing person but apparently there's a few things we don't align on, and that her romantic feelings have left the building. Her gut was saying we wernt each others people, and who can compete against someone's gut feeling eh. Apparently I wasn't giving her the level of affection she's used to in a relationship. Which I fpu d strange considering I was being affectionate, but not enough it seems.
2 months NC. I'm feeling a lot better about it, and after a lot of reflection my desire for wanting her back is dwindling so she better get a move on 😂
I recently broke up and going through no contact. It’s been 55 days. Out of the blue, my high school ex saw me and we talked. It’s been 9 years and she said she never got into another relationship after we broke up, and she wanted to get back together. Unfortunately I’m still grieving so I told her no, she says she’ll wait though. TLDR my ex from 9 years ago still misses me. I don’t know about the recent ex tho, doubt it
But what if we still live together? Is the no contact starting when he moves out? Because no I can only do the strategic no contact. But it’s not working… I think maybe he’ll miss me, when I’m really gone…
Coach lee! Since you stated that its for someone who has cheated it doesnt work. In my situation i havnt cheated and i have tried to explain that i havnt. Does no contact work? Because my ex has blocked me from everything and everywhere! How should I confront her? How do i even go ahead about it. I tried no contact for more than 4 months.. i feel hopeless. 😞 how should i explain her? How to end this misery.
@@tadiwanashemanatsa590 I reached out after three month, very neutrally, and asked if he wanted to talk or meet. He responded after a few days and said he thinks we are not suitable for each other however he has not moved on. I was relieved and I moved on. Love is within you my friend and is not from outside.
I think I’m in a dangerous place to stop saying a love you. Because she went in rehab for us to have a better relationship. I want her to make it in rehab and not leave because she thinks I have give up on her. To come find me and her to relapse.
She said she loved me after 2 months. I gave her my heart. Fast forward a year and 4 months. She says lucky im good looking because i have no personality and we were never compatible… really hurtful to hear when you loved each other so much…
No longer want him anymore because im fully recovered from my heartbreak.We human beings are putting other people on pedestal for fucking no reason😂they are just another human beings with their own insecurities😂DETACHMENT is such a game changer emotionally mentally and energetically💪Focusing on my parents and taking care of them is way better than feeling sad because of people who don’t see my worth.
I’m trying so hard. Separated for 8 months..married 17..left me for someone else. He has breadcrumbed me and me him the whole time. Now I’m trying for the second time nc.. it’s been 8 days.. first time 2 weeks. I am struggling.
I needed this thank you It's been 36 days for nc and I miss him, he said he he doesn't like me anymore or have any interest in my and doesn't see me romantically ill keep an update if something happens inshlh
It seems like you can't find a partner who doesn't have bipolar, trauma or other issues. Perhaps coaches would do videos on the best way to make a success of these relationships. With dating apps the way they are, the world the way it is, i doubt there will be any truly healthy people left in the dating pool.
I've watched almost 80% of your videos now and still working theough them. Thanks you. I have noticed in several of them, you say that people ask "But will ny ex forget me?". I think when this question is asked what we really mean is " During no contact, will this person's attachment to me decrease? If it takes 30 days to breakxa habit or create a new habit, will this person's connection and routine with me drop after 30 days and they won't feel as strongly anymore?".
Help! We were in no contact for 9 months. I was finally feeling like I was getting over him and he texted me 2 weeks ago, “you were right about everything.” I didn’t know how to respond to that, because so much time has passed. And also because he sent a cryptic message after hurting me so badly. I feel like he should’ve said more in detail instead of testing the waters. Sadly enough, I do want to have a conversation. How should I respond? I can’t stop thinking about him now.
@@azazel3944 yeah I'm on day 4 no contact. I broke her trust and she feels like I didn't set boundaries in our relationship. I never cheated. Just made her feel insecure without even realizing. She asked for space at first but we ended up seeing each other as usual. Then called it off again about a month ago... Losing her has been so painful... I just hope no contact works
@@azazel3944 I broke her trust and made her feel insecure. I didn't cheat, just didn't set boundaries with friends. Day 5 of no contact.. hope it works
Thanks coach Lee for all your advices, my boyfriend had blocked me after a stressful conversation and said like its the end of our relationship. It was me who throw some unkind words that I know I hurt him by that. I apologize afterwards through email but got no response and I started no contact after that. Its almost 3 weeks now but I wonder why I dont feel that so much anxiety? I feel so relaxed. Is it because I know he loves me and I do love him also the same and we lost only the attraction or just because I am doing well not contacting him? By the way, thank you for all your advices, there are days I feel down as well but I always come back to watch your videos to uplift myself. Thank you so much for your encouragement❤
Coach Lee, me and her met on hinge then met at the church. Everytime we see each other, we go at the church, then we added Friday date nights, then her 3 yo son on Sundays too, go to a park then eat out. I pay for everything and sometimes her groceries which made her cry and told me how amazing I am that nobody had treated her the way that I did and nobody pay for her groceries before. We hangout on her place too and we’re intimate and we started to plan to get married late this year and have kids, also met her cool folks too! After 2 and a half months of dating, last week we met 4x, and she got overwhelmed I think, she only wanted Friday date and Sunday family day with her kid. Then this week, she was fasting and I help her dad move a couch to her house and she told me that everything is fine it’s for us our family etc yata2. Wednesday I told her her dad told me that “she don’t need the best” so I don’t know what to think of that. Is it because I don’t have a job right now? Then after a while I called her again and told her “ oh i get it, his talking about the couch” then she told me she gotta go as she needs to do choirs. I texted her that night I said “ I’m excited for our folks to meet” she ddnt reply. Thought she was just busy. But Thursday came and she just texted me “morning” which is so plain, she usually text me good morning sweetheart. So I just texted morning also and she ddnt text me the whole day. Friday she told me, “I know we have a lot of plans but I’m very sorry I’m not up for it.” I told her yea I can feel something is wrong, tried to call her she ddnt pick up and I ask her “don’t you want us anymore? No reply so I texted her, did you meet someone? She just said “wow” Then I texted her dad if we are still up for the Bible study he invited me to, then he said sorry something came up. Then I told him if we could talk, the dad said “can’t talk on about “ then I texted him what’s going on anyways and he ddnt respond. After that, she send me a message that “my reaction to things are unhealthy and don’t want that in her life, and don’t want to see me again, wish me the best” And I’m shock seeing this, so I said “if you put yourself in my shoe, you change like this for no explanation, I love all y’all, we’re planning to get married, have kids, hope the next man would treat you like I did,wish you the best too!” After that she ddnt reply and that started our no contact since this Friday April 12,24. It’s Sunday now. Im shocked. I thought her love was real, the way we kiss and looked at each other. So disappointing. Im not sure if I want her back, because now I see how this is really is, the ugly truth. But I have a gut feeling she would reach out because when we were still okay, she said,” no guy has treated her this way before” “that I am so amazing” “ the things I did, it’s in her house and see me everywhere” oh well, love is really just an illusion I realized, it’s what we just put in our head. The moment you realize that, the moment you wake up from reality that dating is just for someone’s benefit
It sounds like you were too needy and she felt overwhelmed as she explained to you. After 2.5 months, meeting 4x is a lot. She is an adult with responsibilities (child, job, maybe hobbies). Why don’t you have a job right now? Also do you have hobbies/interests/friends outside of her? I think she really likes/loves/appreciates you but you needed to dial it back a bit. You made her your god and that’s not healthy and too much pressure for a human.
@@stopandsmelltheflowers26 you are spot on and i totally agree. Well I’m having a hard time to find a job here in Vegas. Oh well she’s gone now. She dropped my stuff in my doorstep and texted me about it and I ddnt reply. Including the couple mug I gave her, she kept hers. It’s so immature like though, she ddnt want to talk to me about it and just dump me like that with no explanation.
@@johnhernandez4763 No, she doesn’t want a dialogue with you bc she believes you’ll only want to talk her out of her decision. She’s doing you a favor. Put the energy you were giving her, into finding work and at least one other hobby in addition to church, maybe gym or something free like walking/running/ doing calisthenics in a park. I know you have a provider and protector mentality so don’t worry about women if you don’t have a job. When she gets curious and reaches out or asks about you, you’ll be in a better position. I’m giving you this information as a woman. You are not weak, you are strong in Christ. No human should ever be your everything bc as you see, we are fickle.
@@stopandsmelltheflowers26 you are right, I want to protect and provide. You are spot on on everything. You read the whole situation. Tbh, I am so ashamed I don’t have a job. I need to have one Asap. Thank you for giving me advice and reading my situation. I honestly think she is an avoidant. When it’s starting to get serious talking about marriage and kids and wanting to see her. She ran.
@@johnhernandez4763 Shame is good bc you will change it and be better! Doesn’t matter whether or not she’s an “avoidant”. Honestly, 2.5 months was too soon to discuss marriage and children, even if you felt she was the one. I think no contact will be good bc she’ll see you have discipline and self-control, she’ll start to wonder and even if she doesn’t (show it), it will be better for you, you will be more well-rounded and women will find it attractive that you are not too available for them
It’s day 30 of no contact for me, I’m losing hope in her, 5 days ago I got the “typing” notification from her on snapchat, But she didn’t send anything, My life personally is getting better, I’m hitting the gym, My body is much better, I’m passing all my exams in uni, Graduation is on the doors, I thought she’ll comeback faster, But soon that won’t be my problem. Goodluck to all of you, I hope you get what you want
My ex made excuses to avoid in person meetings for a month before he decided to end the relationship. I causally check in him during this month. I started no contact after his breakup message.
Hii i need you guys help! I am a 20y old guy and broke up recently with my gf from 3 years. And i am wondering if in my situation she could come back around. Here is my story : (it is important to note that she already broke up with me a year ago and she came back 10days later.) So the past months before the break up she has not looked forward to seeing me or texting me as much and just did it mostly for me. Now her reasoning is that she has problems within herself and she needs to fix it and that she cant go in with the relationship now. So i am wondering if she could come back eventough i think she lost too much attraction. She didnt miss me when in a relationship ever even if we didnt see eachother for a long long time so why would she now? Her last words were that she knows that she will probably never find a guy as good as me and that she will probably regret this in the future also that i am the only guy she ever liked. But maybe she lost too much attraction. What is your opinion on this?
Her reasons for breakup are shallow and aimed at face-saving. Half-truths. Sounds like she had been losing attraction for some time, and even a year ago. But rather than focusing on her and whether she will come back, I suggest you look more closely at yourself. You may have Anxious Attachment style, and she may be Dismissive Avoidant. The more you yearn for her, cling to here, the more she will want to pull away and isolate. Use this NC time to work on yourself and your core wounds, so you can move toward Secure Attachment. No matter what she does, you are better off. Hope this helps.
@@russellcameronthomas2116 hi! Thank you so much for your efforts to respond i really appreciate this. I have been doing this the past 2 months. Being closer with friends doing other hobbies… I know i should probably have the mindset of there is someone better etc. But i really do want her even her family was like family to me and she is amazing. I really do want her back. And recently she started added songs to her playlists like “missing something, sad girl” maybe i am delusional or maybe she starts to feel something atleast i hope so…
Coach Lee you are a amazing human being. Thank you so much for all your information. You explain things in such a way that it really hits home and makes sense even if that information isn't something we want to hear but need to hear it. Hopefully maybe you read this I have a question. I'm 36 m anxious attachment my ex 37 f fearful avoident. Its been 6 months since she left our 13 year relationship. And I'll be honest I did everything your supposed to not do, beg, plead, letters, text after text and oh ya how can I possibly forget trying to propose to her in the middle of the street. I am absolutely ashamed of my behavior. I almost would rather take a redo of the 2 months after the break-up than to actually get back together. We have maintained contact and regularly see each other coffee and walks and stuff. As I'm sure you already know it's me initiating 80 percent of that. I've lasted 2 weeks of no contact at about month 3. I'm doing a whole lot better this last month or so I saw and could feel I was just pushing her further and further away. So this past month I've just stopped reaching out I don't text her back right away I wait 2 or 3 hours if not the next day.any time 3 or 4 days goes by and I don't reach out it triggers her anxious side and I'll get texts like " I'm coming over " please don't ignore me stuff like that. And I cave every time. So hear is my main question. Is 6 month's after the split to long to start no contact, and do it like for real this time. The one thing I haven't done is give her the breakup she wanted. I've tried to stay relevant in her life especially since a week after the split she got into a relationship. So that made me tighten my grip harder on us or fixing us. I'm just so scared to do it even though it's what needs to happen. Like you said she can't miss me if I'm still around. Do you think it's a good idea to go no contact after 6 months.
After a relationship goes to sh*t the no contact rule is solid gold, either she comes back or you develop the habit of living without her, either way you win
Yep, it's been 2 months for me. I feel so much better. Still think about her, but it doesn't hurt as much
To women/men they will start missing you when you are gone,let them be .
Exactly! Iam Gone for Good!!!!
When you stop caring, loving and missing them...
It‘s not just a guy think, the womans also
Absolutely!!!
Exactly what happened with my Ex..(literally an Ex..Husband after 40 yrs)..I stood up for myself and yes I was a bit harsh😢BUT! I'm 66 he's 71 ( but young at heart❤) I told him NUMEROUS times last year that after '22/'23 that were as I call them " clusterf**k years"( I'm not w/o a small amount of guilt..SMALL!)
That 2024 is MY year..either your in my life or not..
No time for drama..lies..EXCUSES.. I "expressed" things in my way of course he didn't like it so he blocked me..
So 2 days ago I told "either BE A MAN and apologize for the hurt/pain..lies and excuses...etc" or just go away.."
(SORRY SO LONG..had to get it out😢) i will NOT contact him until he can tell me he's ready to sit face to face and talk as adults and NOT put ALL blame on me..I've apologized..
So...balls in his court😊
He is the LOVE of my life..but have to set boundaries..
Ok!
Thank you for listening..❤
Sad but true. By the time the guys come around to realizing they miss you you don’t want them back.
She came back today after about three months. Listen to this guy. He knows his stuff! Thank you coach Lee
How did she reach out to you and is it working out?
Cmon buddy your information is valuable…what’s the story of you two?
I hope my ex will comeback
its around two years now
@@Hustler_718 for what
Coach Lee, I have betrayed myself so many times in the past.. but this video is truely bringing back the faith I need and wished for for so long. You see, Coach, I needed reasurance and I had to get back on track.. so as I was listening to this video, it felt so good!! Your words, your profound understanding of what women like us go thru during break ups got me stronger.. Understanding that my value did not fade away just because I was feeling insecure and vulnerable.
As one who had been broken up with, finally capturing the very essence of letting go - if not staying away - made me stronger and for the very first time, I am feeling whole and confident. Thank you Coach Lee.
I blocked my ex, best decision I ever made. He broke up with me during an argument, I gave him a chance to change his mind and he said no. I started packing my things and he storms into the room saying “aren’t you going to fight for us?!” after he just told me TWICE that he’s breaking up with me. About 6 months post breakup and I am so much happier without that toxic man, I’m finally free :)
He was arrogant. You did well. Hope you find a lovely boyfriend who will treat you with respect.
Good going. I've been no contact with my ex girlfriend for about 30 days now. It was a 13 year relationship, so it hasn't been easy, but I'm not thinking about her quite as much anymore. When I do, I just remember all of the toxic things she did. (lying cheating, disrespecting me, using me, picking fights, and accusing me of cheating). That helps to temper my resolve.
She denied cheating even though I found a screenshot she'd saved from a Snapchat conversation she was having with another man, talking about how great it was sleeping with her, and she wanted to again. The messages were recent, but he said she'd slept with him before we were together (over 13 years ago, so I don't buy that). Regardless, she was sexting other men, too, and I consider that cheating. She wouldn't have allowed me to do that, and I had no desire to. Anyway, it makes me happy that I no longer have to worry about her. 🙂
@@teem5945 thank you!!
Then why you here
my ex was an avoidant and its been 71 days of no contact since he broke up with me. i just have to finally accept that he’s never coming back.
Hi just because you watched the vid and replied I think you are a real catch!! You have a heart, you care!!! I meet so many people who cry ME ME ME! all day long, Your higher power will bring you what you need so you can have what we all deserve. peace, love and joy!
Mine is an avoidant too. Very typical. We broke up 2 months ago after 13 years. I tried to reach out to have an actual conversation because the breakup was very short, rushed, and over the phone because I had to go to work but he has given me the silent treatment. It has now been three weeks of no contact and I’m sticking to it. I do think he eventually will reach out but I’m prepared that it might be a while before he does. You’ve got this and I’m praying that everything works out for you.
@maxsheerin8219well said ! My avoidant ex has painted me to look a psycho codependent that's not who I am 😢
You deserve someone who sees your clear value.
I went 2 months and then broke down. I’m glad I did because an avoidant wants to be wanted. We are back on good terms for now. I know he cares. He’s trying not to care. But I need him in my life. So this NC just isn’t for me
If you love someone, set them free, and if they come back then they were probably a boomerang.
😂
😂😂
"...and it's actually the norm that you would hear from them within the first month and a half or two" is very reassuring, since post-rejection I went stock silent, ignoring breadcrumbs till she reached out with sincerity at 8 weeks minus 1 day (yes, I was counting) and was markedly more attentive and appreciative of me and what we'd had. Your instincts and advisories proved bang on! 🎯💥
this means i should almost hear from here any moment now..... i hope so.
@@ijv5567 I hope so too, man. But as Coach Lee and others say, it could be longer. What got me was how she seemed to sense the moment through the ether when I was finally okay with its being over, and that's when she got in touch with a personal message. Right when I didn't really need her any more...
@@videowilliams I guess that is what will happen. As if the universe knows and wants to mess with you. IF they finally reach out, it will be at the worst possible moment. Right before an important exam, or when you finally met someone else.
@@ijv5567did you ever hear from them?
Anyone freshly in a breakup don't reach out please, after 3 months my ex said she did miss me but the things I have done after the breakup were worrying and probably why we aren't together. Don't reach out, don't call don't text don't buy the nice gifts, let them miss you don't push them away
Me please I don't know what to do. He never blocked me. Coz he knows I will keep calling him. But he ignored me
And text. He keep our key to out house. I jeed help advice
Nothing warranty that if you don’t push them away they will stay. In my opinion the best is pass page. You are so much valuable and if someone don’t want to be with you better accepted
Hi@@ManFromBogota
Nah if she wanted to be back she would have she gaslighting you
This doesn’t make sense. Not contacting them IS pushing them away.
Just Dissapear love will always find its way back. If she’s talking to someone else you do the same. ✌🏻
No contact for 2 years after 22 yr relationship. He monkey-branched & is still with her. No contact is for YOU, NOT them. Grow during this time & focus on yourself.
yes! spot on
22 years?? And he threw it away? His loss! What a numpty!
My ex hasn't reached out either. 2 years of no contact. 14 years together. She cheated and left me for him. Really bad part is he's a meth addict and has her on it I heard
@NathanStephens-ee9be can't fix someone like that and you dodged a hell of a bullet if she's dealing meth with a new person. Best you find out early than married with kids and she does this. Take it as a blessing she's gone.
9 years together, but the last 2 years she left for the same guy 3 times .She always regrets her decision , now I have no idea what to do take her back or let her go ,I do love her .but she can't play with my feelings .
If coatch lee can answer this question.
Thanks
Got my ex back everyone please listen to this man.
How long were you in NC?
She told me she didn’t see a future with me and that we should break up. I responded with grace, "Alright then, I wish you nothing but happiness in your future. Goodbye." I immediately cut off contact. It took her less than two days to reach out with trivial questions, likely to keep a connection alive. I remained calm and composed. When she called again two days later, I didn’t answer. I’m certain she’ll try contacting me again. One mustn't make it easy for those who mistreat them; bad behavior should have consequences. You can’t force someone to remain in your life, but you can make them understand your worth.
She told me that to ive been in 5 days no contact i even asked God to help me to give me a good sign that she will contact me
You are right . No contact is best.. giving them your goodies had to stop somewhere .
@@examelizza-zf3xg i just realized everythin shes not worth my time she broke up twice if she loves me this wont happen
My ex and I have been broken up for 4.5 months. She immediately jumped to a rebound the same week we broke up. She has reached out 2 times but still with rebound. One month ago she called me and told me she missed me while with her rebound but she is still choosing the rebound. I did NOT reciprocate feelings. Don't do it. It gives them validation. Haven't heard from her for over a month now. So they do miss you especially as time goes on and when they might hear a song or drive by an old restaurant you went to or other triggers. They are human like you. BUT... Just because they miss you doesn't mean they will ever come back. Mine has reached out 2 times in no contact BUT she is still choosing her rebound for almost 5 months now. Even though I'm above this guy on EVERY level in life. Everyone is different. Some will come back and others won't. Mine will probably get married to her rebound. She is unhealthy emotionally. Especially how she was able to jump to another relationship so fast. I'm 4.5 months without her and I'm struggling to just go on a date. Let alone try to attach to someone. It takes a special kind of person to jump in the same week and be able to attach that fast. It's just odd.
I don't think your ex just jumped into a new relationship the same week she broke up with you. I hate to say this, but her new relationship had probably already started on some level before she broke up with you.
@@MDDR-io7nh I never got that vibe at all but she has known this guy since they were young so it wasn't a random person. They ran into each other during thanksgiving and they went out. She told me she felt like she was cheating when they finally went out on a date. So I definitely don't think they were seeing each other before then. But she had an idea of who she could just to. She doesn't know how to be alone. Has to be in a relationship.
Buddy I had the same deal ...two years solid committed relationship ...its too long to explain but 1 minute with me the next minute in bed of a guy 1 minute away! Like you I can't get my head around it unless you research passive aggressive covert narcissistic personality disorder.
Don't reach out, many times women make decisions based on emotions. Don't allow anyone to compare you to someone else, let them go....work on yourself and you will shine again.
If you were good to a woman , let her go . Many times they have to learn the grass isn't greener on the other side..
Was with my partner 8 month, then we separated I took it really hard and tried alsorts to talk to him and persuade him to come back. I tried no contact but struggled sticking to it. Then thought I've mucked up he won't come came. Started trying to move on and stopped contacting him. Coming up to nearly 2 years apart I contacted him amd told him a letter had come through post I will post it through his letterbox amd he txt back asking if I wanted a coffee amd a catchup. I refused at first but then accepted. He admitted he still had feeling for me and didn't want things to fizzle out bad between us. He regretted the day he left. You don't know what you've lost until it's gone. After a few more coffee meetings we got back together. Been back together over a year now. Good luck everyone x
They'll comeback whenever them other situations don't work out.
So true
Go birds
U think so
Facts also because they did not do the work on themselves, the rebound relationship falls through, and you look like an angel compared to the rebound. This is what happened to my ex-wife. She rebound to another relationship. I made no contact for eight months. Then we got divorced. After we got divorced, she called me many times until I answered and told me that she loved me and she was sorry. I gave her another chance, but things weren't the same, and I left this time. This was eight years ago. She has gotten married but was still calling until recently and had to put her azz on the block list😂😂😂
Yeah true. But what if things with others doesn’t work out because they’re comparing them to you?
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
I’m more impressed and obsessed with your videos than missing anybody right now 🥰! SO LIBERATED 🦋…..
No contact really works! It's gonna be so hard at first if you're the dumpee but as time goes by the hurt and anxiety loses its grip and you'll learn to grow on your own again. Work on your own weaknesses that you have made during the relationship (never rush things) and accept that you may have shortcomings on your end. My ex unblocked me on social media after 3 weeks of no contact and she is now sending "how are you?" texts every other day and I'm just replying very short messages with it. Stay strong and keep no contact and work on yourselves while you're at it. I hope that me and my ex can work things out in the coming weeks or months. 👌
Any updates bro ?
@khalisz Update? Okay.. I never got back with my ex. She still is the same and she blames me for everything. I figured I don't need that kind of "partner" in my life so I moved on. But she only came back when I was already moving on and started going out on dates again. I think she got jealous? Idk. But we never got back together. There are a couple of breadcrumbs here and there but I never really paid any attention to it anymore. As for my lesson for that breakup? If your values don't match and boundaries are not being respected, it's not worth the time and effort bro, just move on. Better be single than be with the wrong person and suffer day-by-day.
@khalisz Update? Okay.. I never got back with my ex. She's still the same person who broke up with me and blames me for everything. I figured I don't need that kind of "partner" in my life. My emotions got ahead of me during the initial phase of the breakup and I begged for her to fix what we had. She started to tell me that she still loves me when I was already moving on and started dating again. I really don't know if she was sleeping around with anybody else during no contact, I really don't care anyways. As for the lesson on that breakup? If your values don't match and boundaries are never respected then it's not worth it bro, just move on. Exes do come back but better ask yourself if you still want to work it out with your ex when the "brain fog" has cleared up. Be a better you bro, there's someone else out there whose gonna step up and deserve every time and attention that you can give. Stay strong bros! ✌️
@@khalisz Update? Okay.. I never got back with my ex. She's still the same person who broke up with me and blames me for everything. I figured I don't need that kind of "partner" in my life. My emotions got ahead of me during the initial phase of the breakup and I begged for her to fix what we had. She started to tell me that she still loves me when I was already moving on and started dating again. I really don't know if she was sleeping around with anybody else during no contact, I really don't care anyways. As for the lesson on that breakup? If your values don't match and boundaries are never respected then it's not worth it bro, just move on. Exes do come back but better ask yourself if you still want to work it out with your ex when the "brain fog" has cleared up. Be a better you bro, there's someone else out there whose gonna step up and deserve every time and attention that you can give. Stay strong bros! ✌️
@khalisz Update? Okay.. I never got back with my ex. She's still the same person who broke up with me and blames me for everything. I figured I don't need that kind of "partner" in my life. My emotions got ahead of me during the initial phase of the breakup and I begged for her to fix what we had. She started to tell me that she still loves me when I was already moving on and started dating again. I really don't know if she was sleeping around with anybody else during no contact, I really don't care anyways. As for the lesson on that breakup? If your values don't match and boundaries are never respected then it's not worth it bro, just move on. Exes do come back but better ask yourself if you still want to work it out with your ex when the "brain fog" has cleared up. Be a better you bro, there's someone else out there whose gonna step up and deserve every time and attention that you can give. Stay strong bros! ✌️
"The difference is, im right" go on coach lee. Loving the fiesty
Coach Lee's Videos helps me a lot mentally regardless of whether my ex comes back or not. It's a soothing touch to my brain
Get a paid coaching call. He is totally worth it and so is Coach Ken! Their time is valuable as is yours, pay him for his time like the rest of have done.
I remember a time when I used to get anxious when he doesnt call or text me for 7-8 hours. Now its been just 10 days of no contact and I dont feel that bad. I dont know if he will ever come back to me, but it has taught me that Im not gonna be that anxious girl anymore.
(Updates in replies)
Same here! I’m learning to regulate my emotions and take deep breaths when I’m feeling anxious. I do think eventually God will bring my ex back to me but only when I’m ready and have healed. Yes, from the breakup, but more so from past childhood traumas that have caused me to be so anxious. Sending prayers. 🤍
How are you guys now ?
Came here to update : I reached out once and it didnt do any good. He was in his relief stage, said he was working on himself which made me sad and a bit angry to see him happier. So immediately went to NC again, this time I'm adamant to keep NC. He has not reached out after that. Total silence from him, but I am coping better with it now. Some days I forget him for hours which is better than nights I spend crying for no reason.. today is day 32 of NC.
Update: Day 45 of NC and nothing new. I'm feeling worse these days, keep hoping for something to happen.. just wondering whether I should reach out again. Very conflicted, but at least knowing that he doesn't want me anymore will help me fully move on. I want to reach out so that I can come out of my own delulu..
Don't reach out stay strong..
Dont block people. Live your life. Let them process the loss
I’ve never understood blocking…
She came back around after no contact...no change in character..so I went back into to no contact...and its done...I wish her well..but it's over...and I'm at peace with it
🎉
14 years of never married relationship. We both did many mistakes that could have been avoided she broke up with me on her birthday and i was not pestering her and have been in no contact for morethan a month. Guess what she exactly miss dialed me on 30 day mark and i am sure that was no mistake. Still staying strong with nc so if we get back together we are at equal terms.
6:45 the difference is I’m right had me dying 😂
Omg I loved when he said that it caught me off guard, but he’s right. He helped my ex comeback before and he helped me stay in no contact from his videos.
I don’t even want to think about it anymore
I completely understand💔💔💔.
Wow!! You are right on about what you are saying!! You sure knows how too lay it out and explain it where its so understandable!!
I want to tell you how much you’ve helped me in the past.. your work and expertise has not gone unnoticed.. Listen and learn. And it’s ok if they are gone. accept it . there is a good reason even if you don’t understand it. And now I found someone that truly cares .
Could take a month , year or never. But yes, they usually come back.
Went to sleep listening to this video and woke up to my ex following my instagram 🤷♀️
hey girl! i wanted to ask you for your insta to ask you about your situation. it would mean a lot
@@av15115 @helen__an
Update. He asked to meet up. Met him today and he asked for another chance
How many months no contact?
Exactly 2 months. He came back so much sooner than I thought
8 months NC...no texts, calls or social media from day 1. So yeah they dont always miss you. But it certainly works for finding yourself again. So much stronger now
They might be one of the stubborn ones, or part of the 30% that don't come back. It doesn't mean they don't or haven't missed you though.
They do but they try to hide it to validate themselves especially when you’re validating them
Coach Lee, I've been watching your videos for the last year and a half after being broken up with for the first time. You have given me so much insight and I wish I learned what I know now sooner. I have been in no contact with my ex for over a year now and I have kept contact to a bear minimum so that she can feel the break up. I've seen her a couple of times by coincidence and we had a couple small interactions and she has been polite but the conversations are short. She has told our mutual friends that she wants to be cool with one another and she will ask them what is going on with me but when I run into her she seems very timid and looks sad whenever we make eye contact. I'm not sure what to do but in regards to no contact but I'm going to stick with no contact until she reaches out.
In one of his videos Lee says that at a certain point it is okay to take a small risk and make a move on them. Some people are just too afraid to ever reach back out if they feel like they hurt you.
Don’t say you love them and all that but make casual flirts, touch them, or offer to get lunch. You already let no contact make them miss you. They might just need a bit of help with the next step. The most you risk is sending them back into the relief stage, but who cares at a certain point
@@MB-eb9ed How long is that certain point?
@@ijv5567 In my opinion it's whenever you feel like they have truly gotten used to life without you. Definitely try to go for at least 3 months though. As long as they don't hate you, they don't get married to someone else, and they aren't (god forbid) dead then you can always try again later. Timing it is not an exact science, it's up to you on what feels best. I would say it's better to come way after the dust settles than before.
If they left because they were cheating on you and believes they found someone better, if she/he tries to come back, DO NOT take them back. DO NOT
They didn’t change
I owe this man Coach Lee my life in many ways. I dated 4 narcissistic women in a row. I was destroyed. However, Coach Lee guided me every day with his videos and his unselfish help on TH-cam. I owe him more than words can say. He is the real deal and a great human being ! Thank you Coach Lee !
I love it, coach Lee- “The difference is, I’m right” 😂. And , you’re right!
Coach Lee and all- I had to come back to this channel with an update, so here it is, I hope this helps someone:
After going no contact for six weeks she called me to meet for breakfast. We are back together, with complete awareness, and are on a good path. At 47 years old I had never really evaluated myself before. She is the first woman who made me take an honest moral inventory of myself. I wrote her a sincere apology letter shortly after the breakup mid-March 2024 and then texted and emailed her for about two months after with no reply. After getting back together in early July she said, "The apology letter was wonderful and every communication you made after that pushed me away". My finally giving her space for six weeks (which she had asked for up front!) made the difference. It was so counter-intuitive to not stay connected with her. Anyone reading this, I hope it helps you. Own up to your mistakes, keep your side of the street clean, and if the connection is truly there, there will be a reconnection. Thanks, everyone. Thank you, Coach Lee. -David
Thanks!
I'm starting to think this is all a Psy op to make us anxiously attached people to get over our exes and I love your thinking process
Tq coach Lee...I felt so calm&cool..with ur advice.. thx for helping others in needs coz emotional feelings can drive anyone nuts&made anybody desperate for their ex or couple
Avoidants don't "state" anything (Safe to call him Avoidant as he's admitted he's done this all his life). They disappear and call it "cooling off" when they come back 3 months later.
Very little advice addresses these cretins, let alone helps with them. 18 months, engaged and on disappearance #3. F this. I'm moving on.
i got involved with a dismissive avoidant! You are spot on! correct. 1000%!
He left me abruptly, out of the blue, over the phone. The whole conversation lasted less than 20 min. I didn't get any closure, aside from some vague, nonsense excuses. I just had time to ask him to mail me my stuff I had left at his place. So when the stuff arrived, I sent him an email I wrote. It was rather long, but they were things I really had to say. Some things about our relationship, and some things about how I saw things, how precious the connection was to me, and how the blindsided breakup affected me. No blaming or anger, but I made sure he knows how traumatic it is being dumped out of nowhere after a whole year full of adventures and memories, without even seeing the person. I sent it. He said he got it and will reply when he has time to process everything. Maybe I shouldn't have sent it, but not saying those things didn't seem right to me. My conscience is clear now, and I won't bother him again. If he lost feelings and couldn't even face me, or found someone else... It's sad, but out of my hands now. I miss the person I thought I was with.
Coach Lee is the truth, just watching his videos is one of the only things keeping me grounded.
Month 2 no contact still hurting.
Update 6 months later I got her back and she is sleeping next to me now!!!
You are a genius Coach Lee and a life saver!
love what you had to say about dating apps because it's so true. so accurate
It’s been 9 months since the breakup and 6 months strong of no contact. We were together for almost 6 years. Remember they don’t always come back and that’s my situation with an avoidant.
💯. Yep youre right. Im kinda same w mine. Ive been NC w her 5mos. We together 8yrs. NC is a tough thing to accept some days.
Coach Lee!!
You are the best man you have helped me so much over the years. I had a recent break up but it has been going a lot better then past relationships due to what I learned in your breakup emergency kit.
Coach Lee, I called my ex after 2 and a half months of no contact. But after letting the phone ring 2 times I hung up out of fear. He texted me immediately saying sorry he missed my call and asked if everything was OK. I didn't know what to text back so I just said it was an accident he believed me because I have a relative with the same name as his. He said that if I ever did need him I could call anytime especially if I ever needed anything. This was a complete difference from the last conversation we had. It's almost as if my value went up in his mind because he never responded immediately in the past and was certainly not that nice. I decided to go back into not contact since I feel it is working. I imagine that is what I should do until he is the one to break no contact, right?
This are the most clear video's about this issues👍
Thank you so mutch ❤
I think NC worked opposite for me. I pushed him even further.I broke no contact by mistake through a mutual friend. I was in strategic NC for 4 months. He was neither worried before and now he is even more relaxed and carefree. He totally has moved on. Break up had no effect on him. He is happy and enjoying only I am suffering.I was not messaging but he even blocked me after 4 months. Why only I am suffering?
because you have a heart that cares! What helps me is getting busy, I had to drag myself to stay busy, it was painful to me, but now I am getting me back!
I think blocking is an emotional move. If he’s so carefree, why is he so bothered that he looked your number up in his phone (why does he still have your number?)to make a move and block you? He’s salty that you haven’t reached out in 4 months. Opposite of love is indifference, not whatever emotion he had behind the blocking
NC works either way. You should use the time to heal and move on.
@@stopandsmelltheflowers26 may be . He had blocked me on Instagram. A new employee has joined the work and he was on the 9th cloud as he already broke it that he is going to date and marry that beautiful girl because she belongs to his particular caste. I kept on thinking whether this man has any heart ? Does not he know that I am just in the same place and listening all this. He is not narc but just immature but the thing is my heart is wrenching and the reason is him.
Most woman would forget their ex after looking at you Coach Lee lol
😂😂😂 so true 🙊
Coach Lee lost his baby fat & looks way nice
She told me to move on. So I will. no contact 1 week. Feeling better already.
any update ?
After 3 Years and 10 Weeks NC she's already dating a other one. She lost me, that's 4 sure.
why do you know those things after 3years?😂😂 MOVE ON
@@RealDeme I m on it ;D
@@RealDeme They were together for 3 years. The broke up 10 weeks ago. If I get it right.
Do they even miss you when they get into a new relationship 2 months after the breakup? They hang out with them all the time, hang out with their friends, everything seems to be going great with them.
People make mistakes I was with my partner for 4 years and broke up with her because we kept repeating the same mistakes all I wanted was for her to realise its been 2 months now im trying to be the best version for her and myself it's been hard she was my person the connection we had was like no other and I stuffed it all up because of communication I pray everyday she'll get in contact but she probably won't she probably hates me but all you can is better yourself for yourself and try your best not too look back as pain for as it is take the break up as a sign from god to be the best version of yourself stay positive
NC 8 months. All quiet on the western front...
Hard but be strong. I drink texted him on the dating site we met on. 😢 then I blocked him so I won’t feel tempted on both the site and cell. I know he will eventually text me but I don’t want to take him back. 😢
@@Foxie635
When I drink, I do not send any messages. Eventually just to taxi 🙂
You too stay strong. We will win this 😎
anyone disregard's me anymore I'm just done walk away is easier been in no contact 5 months just shows she don't care why give someone a thought that threw you away
He wasn't very good looking, was an alcoholic, had financial struggles, and had trouble keeping hygienic. I stayed because he was good to me. As soon as that ended, he stopped talking to me, and left, I was blindsided.
I don't want anyone who doesn't treat me well and honestly I need higher standards. Everyone keeps telling me now that they didn't like him for me and I could do better. I'm 4 days into no contact while still getting my stuff from our place. Haven't seen him. Let's see if he realizes in time that he had a great person in his life and does better. I'm losing interest fast.
I'm at 8 months of no contact, still waiting, your videos give me hope
just give up
I want to go NC but she keeps contacting with me with little favors like looking for her lawn chairs and flower pots etc. I told her at first I didn’t want to break up and this was her idea.
You tell her you’re not interested in friendship. If she changes her mind to let you know. If you don’t walk away she has no reason to treat any differently than she is because YOURE NOT GONE!
So you’re not no contact with her because you are still running to her beck and call.
5th week and I started to see things the way they are again, I was in a fantasy where she was perfect and SHE IS NOT, now she’s chasing me and video calling me at night on the weekends
You're still in no contact?
@@kaylarose3833 Absoolutely ! . After all this time ( it was very hard and hurtful), I feel better than ever and I don’t see her the same way anymore, I think I’m ready to move on 😎
@@royromero5329 I'm happy for you :)
I wish i can be like you as soon as possible cuz my gf dumped me and i can’t live normally, its been 2 days
@@koragoalsport2362 Don't give up. Be silent from now on. I know it's hard. But the only way to make them attracted to you now is to show you're worth more than this.
Best coach on you tube ❤
So she broke up with me 4 days ago after being together 10 months but suggested we could keep casually dating as she'll miss me 🤔...I said no thanks that's an odd suggestion for someone they don't see a future with. At least the break up wasn't bad (no pleading or begging on my part) and told her I thought our relationship was great with no drama and we were good together, so I guess the no contact begins 😅 Only mistake I perhaps made was when she took me by surprise and asked if I'm going to take time to heal or go back on the dating apps...I said probably the latter (but I don't actually intend to meet anyone yet, just kind of wanted her to know she wasn't irreplaceable and I had options)...wish me luck and stay focused everyone, you CAN do this and will come out stronger either way!
Update: I just got my stuff delivered back and she left a note with it saying she's sorry it didn't work out and she's not sure why she felt the way she did but just couldn't give "her all" just now to a relationship which is what I deserve (she has kids and a bit of life/job stuff that added stress) and that she will miss me and treasure the memories we made...🤔🙄
Same boat, my ex broke up with me 10 days ago after 10 mo th relationship. It was great, no drama we made a lot of experiences and fun together. But according to her I don't express the level of affection she is used to and she used this as the main catalyst for her decision. Like you I didn't plead or beg, I explained to her that I know how I feel about you and that it frustrats me that she can't see that. But I think this was just an excuse, she simply lost romantic feelings for one reason or another. I'd say the break up was healthy, I told her I didn't agree with it and she ever had a change of heart to reach out and see where I'm at, and I left ot there.
@@jerescot Are you in NC then? I think we've got a good chance of them trying to make contact with us again at some point! I think mine will be once she has her life settled down a bit but that could be months as she was talking about moving for a job/to be nearer her parents an extra 30mins away from our current distance so not a big deal...
@@pacman-zk8uk I am in NC now yeh. She gave the offer of friendship i told her I wouldn't know how be around her the way I see her would be too difficult so I passed on the offer. I don't think she'll back to rekindle, she made it quite clear that she things I'm an amazing person but apparently there's a few things we don't align on, and that her romantic feelings have left the building. Her gut was saying we wernt each others people, and who can compete against someone's gut feeling eh. Apparently I wasn't giving her the level of affection she's used to in a relationship. Which I fpu d strange considering I was being affectionate, but not enough it seems.
2 months NC. I'm feeling a lot better about it, and after a lot of reflection my desire for wanting her back is dwindling so she better get a move on 😂
Haven't heard from her in almost 6--1/2 years of No Contact. Don't think she's missing me.
Lol move on
I recently broke up and going through no contact. It’s been 55 days.
Out of the blue, my high school ex saw me and we talked. It’s been 9 years and she said she never got into another relationship after we broke up, and she wanted to get back together.
Unfortunately I’m still grieving so I told her no, she says she’ll wait though.
TLDR my ex from 9 years ago still misses me. I don’t know about the recent ex tho, doubt it
Lollllll
@@azazel3944 Tried that.
Never say never. I had one contact me after 20 years.
But what if we still live together? Is the no contact starting when he moves out? Because no I can only do the strategic no contact. But it’s not working… I think maybe he’ll miss me, when I’m really gone…
Same here. We work together. Stretegic NC doesn't seem to work.
If you don't want him back then be in a friendly term with him
@@azazel3944 And if I want him back?
If they leave, let them go! My ex reached out after 5 months. Too late, I'm gone
Coach lee- he doesnt miss me. 1 year NC. And he doesnt reach out. And me to. I never beg him.
Found your channel on reddit this is the boost I needed I appreciate it
Coach lee! Since you stated that its for someone who has cheated it doesnt work. In my situation i havnt cheated and i have tried to explain that i havnt. Does no contact work? Because my ex has blocked me from everything and everywhere! How should I confront her? How do i even go ahead about it. I tried no contact for more than 4 months.. i feel hopeless. 😞 how should i explain her? How to end this misery.
You can get them back, but you will regret it
What if the break up was an impulsive emotional one?
what happens if they go in a rebound right after?
Once no contact comes into play game over and let go and move on.
What if you had to break up with the avoidant because you were disrespected and ignored? But still loved them and left for your self-respect?
Update?
@@dulcejoao5465 No
update?
@@tadiwanashemanatsa590 I reached out after three month, very neutrally, and asked if he wanted to talk or meet. He responded after a few days and said he thinks we are not suitable for each other however he has not moved on. I was relieved and I moved on.
Love is within you my friend and is not from outside.
Does this apply when they block you on everything?
Yes, that’s just impulsive.
They’ll unblock you one day to creep on ya.
I think I’m in a dangerous place to stop saying a love you. Because she went in rehab for us to have a better relationship. I want her to make it in rehab and not leave because she thinks I have give up on her. To come find me and her to relapse.
I have the regret that we could not talk with each other well God will meet us.
He was happy to see me I was also how many times I said to him don't took the third person .
80 days in nc .. I think she is Not coming back. Still missing her 😢
She said she loved me after 2 months. I gave her my heart.
Fast forward a year and 4 months. She says lucky im good looking because i have no personality and we were never compatible… really hurtful to hear when you loved each other so much…
No longer want him anymore because im fully recovered from my heartbreak.We human beings are putting other people on pedestal for fucking no reason😂they are just another human beings with their own insecurities😂DETACHMENT is such a game changer emotionally mentally and energetically💪Focusing on my parents and taking care of them is way better than feeling sad because of people who don’t see my worth.
I try the same, but not as good ...
I’m trying so hard. Separated for 8 months..married 17..left me for someone else. He has breadcrumbed me and me him the whole time. Now I’m trying for the second time nc.. it’s been 8 days.. first time 2 weeks. I am struggling.
I needed this thank you
It's been 36 days for nc and I miss him, he said he he doesn't like me anymore or have any interest in my and doesn't see me romantically ill keep an update if something happens inshlh
Always good piece of advice...thank you, coach ❤
It seems like you can't find a partner who doesn't have bipolar, trauma or other issues. Perhaps coaches would do videos on the best way to make a success of these relationships. With dating apps the way they are, the world the way it is, i doubt there will be any truly healthy people left in the dating pool.
I've watched almost 80% of your videos now and still working theough them. Thanks you. I have noticed in several of them, you say that people ask "But will ny ex forget me?". I think when this question is asked what we really mean is " During no contact, will this person's attachment to me decrease? If it takes 30 days to breakxa habit or create a new habit, will this person's connection and routine with me drop after 30 days and they won't feel as strongly anymore?".
It's been 13 weeks no contact, he is stalking me online I can see. He is very avoidant and has a huge ego. I doubt he will turn around.
Help! We were in no contact for 9 months. I was finally feeling like I was getting over him and he texted me 2 weeks ago, “you were right about everything.” I didn’t know how to respond to that, because so much time has passed. And also because he sent a cryptic message after hurting me so badly. I feel like he should’ve said more in detail instead of testing the waters. Sadly enough, I do want to have a conversation. How should I respond? I can’t stop thinking about him now.
Don't if he hurt you that bad. Hell hurt you again anyways.
He was probably in a rebound and realized what he lost or is going through something tough that caused him to reflect.
Honest answer: If you are rich, she will miss you as a lover. If you are poor she may miss you as a friend. But she will move on in a moments notice.
Im in a 6 months cool off to my gf or ex, and coach vid keep me calm and give me hope and lessen my sadness.
What if they're angry at you? Would they come back?
Maybe yes maybe no , just do not try to talk to them while they are angry and let them calm down.
@@azazel3944 yeah I'm on day 4 no contact. I broke her trust and she feels like I didn't set boundaries in our relationship. I never cheated. Just made her feel insecure without even realizing. She asked for space at first but we ended up seeing each other as usual. Then called it off again about a month ago... Losing her has been so painful... I just hope no contact works
@@azazel3944 I broke her trust and made her feel insecure. I didn't cheat, just didn't set boundaries with friends. Day 5 of no contact.. hope it works
Hi coach I don't care about it anymore I guess I'm ok with everything. But thanks for everything.
Thanks coach Lee for all your advices, my boyfriend had blocked me after a stressful conversation and said like its the end of our relationship. It was me who throw some unkind words that I know I hurt him by that. I apologize afterwards through email but got no response and I started no contact after that. Its almost 3 weeks now but I wonder why I dont feel that so much anxiety? I feel so relaxed. Is it because I know he loves me and I do love him also the same and we lost only the attraction or just because I am doing well not contacting him? By the way, thank you for all your advices, there are days I feel down as well but I always come back to watch your videos to uplift myself. Thank you so much for your encouragement❤
Coach Lee, me and her met on hinge then met at the church. Everytime we see each other, we go at the church, then we added Friday date nights, then her 3 yo son on Sundays too, go to a park then eat out. I pay for everything and sometimes her groceries which made her cry and told me how amazing I am that nobody had treated her the way that I did and nobody pay for her groceries before. We hangout on her place too and we’re intimate and we started to plan to get married late this year and have kids, also met her cool folks too! After 2 and a half months of dating, last week we met 4x, and she got overwhelmed I think, she only wanted Friday date and Sunday family day with her kid. Then this week, she was fasting and I help her dad move a couch to her house and she told me that everything is fine it’s for us our family etc yata2. Wednesday I told her her dad told me that “she don’t need the best” so I don’t know what to think of that. Is it because I don’t have a job right now? Then after a while I called her again and told her “ oh i get it, his talking about the couch” then she told me she gotta go as she needs to do choirs. I texted her that night I said “ I’m excited for our folks to meet” she ddnt reply. Thought she was just busy. But Thursday came and she just texted me “morning” which is so plain, she usually text me good morning sweetheart. So I just texted morning also and she ddnt text me the whole day. Friday she told me, “I know we have a lot of plans but I’m very sorry I’m not up for it.”
I told her yea I can feel something is wrong, tried to call her she ddnt pick up and I ask her “don’t you want us anymore? No reply so I texted her, did you meet someone? She just said “wow”
Then I texted her dad if we are still up for the Bible study he invited me to, then he said sorry something came up. Then I told him if we could talk, the dad said “can’t talk on about “ then I texted him what’s going on anyways and he ddnt respond. After that, she send me a message that “my reaction to things are unhealthy and don’t want that in her life, and don’t want to see me again, wish me the best”
And I’m shock seeing this, so I said “if you put yourself in my shoe, you change like this for no explanation, I love all y’all, we’re planning to get married, have kids, hope the next man would treat you like I did,wish you the best too!” After that she ddnt reply and that started our no contact since this Friday April 12,24. It’s Sunday now. Im shocked. I thought her love was real, the way we kiss and looked at each other. So disappointing. Im not sure if I want her back, because now I see how this is really is, the ugly truth. But I have a gut feeling she would reach out because when we were still okay, she said,” no guy has treated her this way before” “that I am so amazing” “ the things I did, it’s in her house and see me everywhere” oh well, love is really just an illusion I realized, it’s what we just put in our head. The moment you realize that, the moment you wake up from reality that dating is just for someone’s benefit
It sounds like you were too needy and she felt overwhelmed as she explained to you. After 2.5 months, meeting 4x is a lot. She is an adult with responsibilities (child, job, maybe hobbies). Why don’t you have a job right now? Also do you have hobbies/interests/friends outside of her? I think she really likes/loves/appreciates you but you needed to dial it back a bit. You made her your god and that’s not healthy and too much pressure for a human.
@@stopandsmelltheflowers26 you are spot on and i totally agree. Well I’m having a hard time to find a job here in Vegas. Oh well she’s gone now. She dropped my stuff in my doorstep and texted me about it and I ddnt reply. Including the couple mug I gave her, she kept hers.
It’s so immature like though, she ddnt want to talk to me about it and just dump me like that with no explanation.
@@johnhernandez4763 No, she doesn’t want a dialogue with you bc she believes you’ll only want to talk her out of her decision. She’s doing you a favor. Put the energy you were giving her, into finding work and at least one other hobby in addition to church, maybe gym or something free like walking/running/ doing calisthenics in a park. I know you have a provider and protector mentality so don’t worry about women if you don’t have a job. When she gets curious and reaches out or asks about you, you’ll be in a better position. I’m giving you this information as a woman. You are not weak, you are strong in Christ. No human should ever be your everything bc as you see, we are fickle.
@@stopandsmelltheflowers26 you are right, I want to protect and provide. You are spot on on everything. You read the whole situation. Tbh, I am so ashamed I don’t have a job. I need to have one Asap. Thank you for giving me advice and reading my situation. I honestly think she is an avoidant. When it’s starting to get serious talking about marriage and kids and wanting to see her. She ran.
@@johnhernandez4763 Shame is good bc you will change it and be better! Doesn’t matter whether or not she’s an “avoidant”. Honestly, 2.5 months was too soon to discuss marriage and children, even if you felt she was the one. I think no contact will be good bc she’ll see you have discipline and self-control, she’ll start to wonder and even if she doesn’t (show it), it will be better for you, you will be more well-rounded and women will find it attractive that you are not too available for them
It’s day 30 of no contact for me, I’m losing hope in her, 5 days ago I got the “typing” notification from her on snapchat, But she didn’t send anything, My life personally is getting better, I’m hitting the gym, My body is much better, I’m passing all my exams in uni, Graduation is on the doors, I thought she’ll comeback faster, But soon that won’t be my problem.
Goodluck to all of you, I hope you get what you want
My ex made excuses to avoid in person meetings for a month before he decided to end the relationship. I causally check in him during this month. I started no contact after his breakup message.
Hii i need you guys help! I am a 20y old guy and broke up recently with my gf from 3 years. And i am wondering if in my situation she could come back around. Here is my story : (it is important to note that she already broke up with me a year ago and she came back 10days later.) So the past months before the break up she has not looked forward to seeing me or texting me as much and just did it mostly for me. Now her reasoning is that she has problems within herself and she needs to fix it and that she cant go in with the relationship now. So i am wondering if she could come back eventough i think she lost too much attraction. She didnt miss me when in a relationship ever even if we didnt see eachother for a long long time so why would she now? Her last words were that she knows that she will probably never find a guy as good as me and that she will probably regret this in the future also that i am the only guy she ever liked. But maybe she lost too much attraction. What is your opinion on this?
Her reasons for breakup are shallow and aimed at face-saving. Half-truths. Sounds like she had been losing attraction for some time, and even a year ago. But rather than focusing on her and whether she will come back, I suggest you look more closely at yourself. You may have Anxious Attachment style, and she may be Dismissive Avoidant. The more you yearn for her, cling to here, the more she will want to pull away and isolate. Use this NC time to work on yourself and your core wounds, so you can move toward Secure Attachment. No matter what she does, you are better off. Hope this helps.
@@russellcameronthomas2116 hi! Thank you so much for your efforts to respond i really appreciate this. I have been doing this the past 2 months. Being closer with friends doing other hobbies… I know i should probably have the mindset of there is someone better etc. But i really do want her even her family was like family to me and she is amazing. I really do want her back. And recently she started added songs to her playlists like “missing something, sad girl” maybe i am delusional or maybe she starts to feel something atleast i hope so…
Coach Lee you are a amazing human being. Thank you so much for all your information. You explain things in such a way that it really hits home and makes sense even if that information isn't something we want to hear but need to hear it. Hopefully maybe you read this I have a question. I'm 36 m anxious attachment my ex 37 f fearful avoident. Its been 6 months since she left our 13 year relationship. And I'll be honest I did everything your supposed to not do, beg, plead, letters, text after text and oh ya how can I possibly forget trying to propose to her in the middle of the street. I am absolutely ashamed of my behavior. I almost would rather take a redo of the 2 months after the break-up than to actually get back together.
We have maintained contact and regularly see each other coffee and walks and stuff. As I'm sure you already know it's me initiating 80 percent of that. I've lasted 2 weeks of no contact at about month 3. I'm doing a whole lot better this last month or so I saw and could feel I was just pushing her further and further away. So this past month I've just stopped reaching out I don't text her back right away I wait 2 or 3 hours if not the next day.any time 3 or 4 days goes by and I don't reach out it triggers her anxious side and I'll get texts like " I'm coming over " please don't ignore me stuff like that. And I cave every time. So hear is my main question. Is 6 month's after the split to long to start no contact, and do it like for real this time. The one thing I haven't done is give her the breakup she wanted. I've tried to stay relevant in her life especially since a week after the split she got into a relationship. So that made me tighten my grip harder on us or fixing us. I'm just so scared to do it even though it's what needs to happen. Like you said she can't miss me if I'm still around. Do you think it's a good idea to go no contact after 6 months.
My ex daughter walk in with I work at didn’t buy nothing her mother which is my ex was out side I went in the office so she didn’t see me
You are 1000% on point! Loved this talk! 😁💯💯💯
Thank you coach lee.