At the beginning of last year, my ex left me and I started doing no contact. After 9 months she came back and texted me and talked to me just like nothing happened. Because of the good times that we had I treated her respectfully and after a few days I told her that our ways are separate now and I don't want to marry her. Those months of no contact was hard but great for thinking with logic. I realized that the woman that I want to be my wife has to has to have some kind of attributes that makes her not crossing my red lines. I wanted thank coach Lee and coach Ken for helping me passing those hard times.
It is almost six months since i was discarded.. I still love him ... he reached out once but that's that... I know he doesn't love me but I can't give up false hope... any advice would help
@@lazydaisy4453NC rule is to prove resilience and strength of dealing with the breakup towards the dumpee. On top of that you need to further prove you are unfazed and better outside of the relationship, It's attractive. But from what I can tell, 6 months... one casual reach and how broken you seem with this comment... I say you need to practice grieving the breakup and move on. Accepting the loss and moving in is ironically the strongest you can seem. I hope you the best.
@@lazydaisy4453Actually, I advise you to give it up. Because when you give up on him, at the beginning it might be hard not to check on him but after you walk on a new path, eventually you're gonna love Yourself for making this decision and God for giving you a chance to be happy. I can understand you love him but what good is in loving someone that doesn't love you back? Your value is so much more than that.
I’m a 31 year old man, I’ve had multiple serious relationships in my life, and I’m telling anyone who’s reading this to listen to this guy. He is spot on. The only thing I would add is, when you give in to an ex no matter how long goes by or how much resistance you give, it’s a risky decision. They will leave you again if you don’t change your dynamic in the relationship.
@@johnnoe6791 it's rare both people want to change at the same time. Usually one thinks they are not the problem. Flogging a dead donkey is a sure sign of madness.
It's difficult to let go someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 3 years ended, but I couldn't just let he go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring he back, his TH-cam channel @droman01
Give them the break up. Stand your ground. Yes it's very difficult but you have to stay strong and trust the process and no matter what the result is, it's all gonna be worth it in the end. Stay SILENT. Your absence or silence is louder than banging the door. Let your silence be present on their mind. Let them feel your absence in their life. That way you become more attractive to them than the first time they felt it. Let them fear losing you. Let them think how you treated them, how you were with them and all the great memories thay had with you and the love they felt that feels magic when you were still together. Because all these will run in their mind and will make them fear the thought of you doing it to somebody else one day. This thoughts can make them crazy about you to the point that they will reach out and get back with you because they fear losing you forever. Again, listen to coach Lee. He knows exactly what he's talking about.
It’s not that deep. You wrote all this fantasyland stuff and meanwhile the other person clearly moved on. A break up is never a mistake and people should treat it like it’s the end. There is not need to keep up with an ex in any capacity.
I cannot believe this is me, but my ex just reached out after almost 3 months. She sent a very elaborate video holding up cards with messaged on them for me, we spoke. I was excited but kept it calm and spoke candidly. We’re going to meet up in our hometown on Sunday and go to church (I want to make it clear that our relationship will not be as it was before). I am in absolute disbelief, thank you so much Coach Lee. You’re the MAN!
I think the two big things that I learned from coach Lee are : “ you can only do what you can do” and that “ you don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you “. Simple but when you think about it, so true. You can’t try to influence or chase someone that doesn’t want to be with you and you can’t force your love on them. Best to go silent no matter how much it hurts. Stay strong fellow dumpees, your time will come and the tides will turn.
It's difficult to let go someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 3 years ended, but I couldn't just let he go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring he back, his TH-cam channel @droman01
Love is a decision. Love is a choice. Love is a pledge. 10000%. My separated wife dumped me because she was emotionally spiraling. Her parents went along with it and gave her all the support. They don't realize how much I was willing to put forth in this commitment called a marriage. I never wanted to give up. 8 months later we're still apart but no contact is helping me grow and learn about myself.
It's difficult to let go someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 3 years ended, but I couldn't just let he go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring he back, his TH-cam channel @droman01
Loving someone is a choice a daily one at that. Totally agree with you. As for her parents; my ex’s mother blamed me for confronting him for not respecting my boundaries when it came to the females he worked with. From giving her a pet name to wanting to send her a bottle of wine then having coffee with her. His mother told me that I should never question a man, hence why her (still) husband had multiple affairs on her for her never questioning him. But yet I’m the bad guy. I had to accept that he will never do any wrong in her eyes and vice versa. Till this day she sends me messages wishing me well. It’s so odd. Not sure what to make of it except after he left me for confronting him, she’s been almost weekly texting me. I know it’ll come to an end when she can accept that we won’t get back together but I don’t know the purpose of her doing this.
@@RealCoachLee I treated her nicely, respected her , I was overly available for her , she never lacked attention... Suddenly she said she wants to break up , that she's no longer attracted to me... Yes I had my boundaries, she had anger issues n emotional irritability as well... We had little back n forth were had always spoken to her calmly.. I really do like her, now I'm in no contact... What are the chances we will reach out..?
@@RealCoachLeeYou are my hero Coach Lee!! Without you i wouldn't have had the best chances of getting my ex back but also, i wouldn't have had my sanity to begin with. I have a really anxious attachment style of behavior. Indeed by following what you've said, I'm actually impressed with how good im handling it...I never thought I'd be that strong. I was broken up with almost 3 months ago and she is a good person. We've been together for 3 years. Almost 3 months and still going strong!!I will never give in to my basic instincts! My hand will not tremble...I still feel lonely sometimes, but through your videos, i feel companionship. Most of the pain has subsided and it gives me peace knowing that I'm doing all i can and it's literally the best thing to give myself the best odds, knowing full well that i might even "lose" but I've made peace with that possibility and view things now from a more positive stance. Time will tell if she was right for me...
Hi Coach Lee. Finding you and this channel has been a gamechanger for me. I first found one of your articles that explained the mindset of the dumper & the dynamics in a breakup where one party is a dictator. It made such perfect sense, and it instantly made me feel better. I find that many resources (other coaches and online articles) say "You will get over him", "This too shall pass", but when you're in love with someone, you dont WANT to get over them, you don't want it to pass. You are grasping for hope; hope that they will come back. Because in this situation, they mean the world to you, and the thought of losing them feels like the sun will never rise again. So saying "You will get over it" means "You will be ok with never seeing the sun again" which is crazy. And what you do SO beautifully is comfort us with your pedagogical words, soft voice, straight logic, and calm energy. You explain to us that the breakup is due to a lack of attraction, and you MAKE US want to stay away to regain control, You make us realize what we are too blinded to see. And day by day, we regain our strength, and we find out that the journey is not about getting our ex back, it is about claiming our own energy, it's about being who we are meant to be. So by giving us hope that we will get our ex back, we actually get over them, little by little, because we start realizing our own worth. It's like "I see what you did there, Coach Lee, making me think I was hoping to get my ex back when really I was learning to love myself again". THANK YOU a thousand times. You're literally my hero
Even more when you have a Young child together, and you get panicked , for the effects on them about that situation, when their parents dont live together
Coach Lee saved my relationship! I went no contact after our second breakup for 3 weeks. I called her over a few days before her birthday to give her a goofy card. We talked things over and got back together. During those 3 weeks, I identified and fixed the issues on my side. When she returned, she noticed immediately. Coach Lee is right! She said she thought about me every day and prayed for me back daily. She went on 2 dates to try to move on and she was so hung up on me, she hated both dates, further wanting me back. GIVE THE GIRL THE BREAKUP! Don't chase. If you were good to them, they'll want you back.
One of the greatest videos coach lee has ever made. This is how I view love. It cannot just be based on your serotonin levels in a given day. It is a choice and a commitment.
hey yall, i used to watch this guy RELIGOUSLY a few years ago. I want yall to know its painful for a WHILE but eventually this will all be funny to you like it is for me now. I now see she was INSANE and even though I havent dated since just cuz idc lmao but im very content now and you will be too!
Coach, if I know I need to stop giving energy to the breakup and to help myself move on, doesn’t that mean at some point I need to ween myself off these videos? Your videos are the only thing that takes the edge off. I know NC doesn’t always work, and that it’s in my best interest to kill any hope so that I don’t prolong suffering. From an internet stranger with a broken heart, thankyou man. (Currently 2 weeks NC)
2 weeks is a short amount of time for no contact. Although, depending on how long you were together and the reason for the break, over coming the loss can take months. But yes, after awhile it could be a good idea to stop watching so many videos so that your mind can begin to focus on other things
I'm headed toward 10mo NC and you'll feel that way for a while. What I did was branch out to other coaches for alternative perspectives because what you should really focus on is facing the reality that they are gone and begin the actual rebuilding/healing process. Other coaches will say the exact same stuff, just worded differently. Once your brain itself can process the breakup, you'll be able to work on yourself and that's when you'll naturally decide to drop or keep watching these videos. Familiarize yourself with Coach Ken's Dark Limerence because that was one of the hardest parts for me at about 6-7 months. Now, I still watch them because A. I'm still in NC, but it's more to keep myself accountable, and B. When she wasn't here, he was.
No contact is meant for you to work on yourself and rediscover urself not waiting for ur ex to contact you It may take years for ur ex to reach out so don't bother waiting it's time to move on
Good question. My videos are more to give you possibilities to consider. Some people keep watching my videos because they soothe them and they continue to learn about relationships. Mostly people feel better when they get to the point that they have talked about it quite a bit and need to stop.
It's difficult to let go someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 3 years ended, but I couldn't just let he go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring he back, his TH-cam channel @droman01
3 year relationship. Ex text guys behind my back. The last 6 months went toxic. Police called to final breakup. I went into No Contact forever and never contacted the ex in any shape, form or way and its been 3 years and I will continue no contact, ex has picture on WhatsApp with same sex, looks like ex went for same sex Any thoughts, or opinions, advice much appreciated, Thank you
@@emerald1541 it basically taught me not to go after people that don't want me, I used to think that being ghosted, left on delivered, the person not keeping promises, not remembering anything that they said, not putting effort, were totally acceptable things, because the person called me wifey, but did the opposite of it, I thought it was okay, but when I went no contact, I saw things differently, I realized that who wants you, shows it and means it, inconsistency is not okay, I only learned it after being in no contact, it is better to be single than with the wrong person.
I always talk to people about you, sir. Whether it be if someone is in a relationship, broken up, or just plain single, your knowledge can help out on any situation when it comes to relationships. Thank you, Coach, for your expert help!
It's difficult to let go someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 3 years ended, but I couldn't just let he go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring he back, his TH-cam channel @droman01
It's difficult to let go someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 3 years ended, but I couldn't just let he go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring he back, his TH-cam channel @droman01
What I've learned is simple. Some women (unhealed, still paralyzed by attachment trauma) would rather hold onto their pride, move on and SETTLE for less especially if the next mate is a pushover and doesn't hold them accountable for their behavior.. it's just way easier than admitting their faults. Happened with my ex wife, and ex gf post-marriage. NC isn't the end all be all people, it worked for me multiple times actually... However, if there's no self awareness and real healing done and they don't do the healing work needed during NC, then you're just wasting your time with them.
Dude it hurts a lot more when I think about what I did, I was so mean. All my fault, she gave me chance after chance. What gets me is she has always said she wouldn't be with anyone else, even when she left yesterday morning, she said she loves me and won't be with anyone. Which seems like her but why leave if it's true love? 1.5 year long distance relationship gone because I wasn't in a good mood. God lord help me, help us all who realize what they've done
Sounds similar to a situation I have been through. I may relate to her feelings and might be able to give you some insight, if so. Sorry you're hurting so much, but it may turn around for you both.
Back in 2019 I ran across this channel and watched a ton of videos: helped me with a breakup and she came running back. Covid 2020 in June she broke it off and I got the breakup kit and basically followed it to a T. Within days she kept asking about me and to see me. Got back together and moved in: today we are in the I need space break part. I decided to go back to these videos. And I did give some push back the last week to the break and space but I agreed and said okay. Now it’s time to watch these and remind myself of what to do. Whatever the outcome is if we get back together or not and move out it’s good for peace of mind.
No contact for too long will reverse feelings. Now the dumpee will begin to lose interest in the dumper and as you said he has damaged his position and things will not be the same again. So the dumpee will not be interested to be back again with him. 😝
If she gets the help she talked about getting and I improve myself in the ways I want to, and she comes back, we could have something really great! No contact is helping me way more than I thought it would.
How's it been so far? Any contact from her yet? I literally got blocked on absolutely every social she had. She didn't have much friends so it's hard to see what she's up to
@@Unknownuserhtps just one text when she saw my house had flooded on Facebook asking how bad it was. Nothing after that. I texted her happy birthday and just a “thanks!” in reply. She’s highly avoidant. I highly doubt she’s coming back at this point. It’s almost been three months.
@@emerald1541 I couldn’t leave it alone and like a freakin idiot, I drove by her place last night at midnight and there was another car parked right next to hers and all the lights were off. I’m assuming the worst.
@@BruceJC75 ahhhhh mannn, that's tough to hear. Although we never know what's it really and our brain makes up the worst every time so don't beat yourself up. It really can be anything else.
Coach Lee, Thank you for all your videos and advice about breakups. After sending a few texts, to which she did not respond, I found your videos. They have been super helpful!! I stopped texting and “gave her the breakup she wanted”. 90 days later she reached out. Again, I followed your advice and responded positively but said I wanted to go slow. We have begun seeing each other regularly again. She has told me that after I stopped reaching out she started to get curious and finally began to miss me. Thank you for the great advice! PRE
My ex and I were together for 13 years. I kinda had a feeling that a breakup was coming and it did. It’s been almost two months since the breakup and we still haven’t spoken. I reached out and got the silent treatment. Went no contact again for three weeks then reached out again. Got the silent treatment again. This is typical avoidant behavior for him but all I’ve done is chase him and give him everything for 13 years so he probably thinks he can easily get me back. Well, not this time. I love him but I’m not going to continue to be treated this way. He has a lot of work to do if he decides he wants to try again. I don’t even know if I’ll even accept him back even though I love him with all of my heart. The trust is gone.
I will be staying in no contact, even if we never speak again. The thought tears me up inside but it has to be done. I’ve always been there and he does need to feel the loss, unfortunately.
It's difficult to let go someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 3 years ended, but I couldn't just let he go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring he back, his TH-cam channel @droman01
Thank you. Love is a pledge. A decision not based on flitting emotions. It must be a disipline. If you love someone you must be patient. Control oneself. Mind over matter. You are right sir. Thank you. ❤🙏
It's difficult to let go someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 3 years ended, but I couldn't just let he go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring he back, his TH-cam channel @droman01
The most important thing to realize is that if a person thinks they have the leverage or value to practice inconsistency show them the repercussions and consequences of their actions. There is always someone better suited for you. They fumbled the bag. 😊❤🎉
I’ve started watching his videos years ago and trust me guys it works. Even if you move on or they don’t come back. Understand some relationships are just dead! Done. Left and came back too many times. Good thing is you’ll have the tools for the next relationship if ever in a situation like this again.
No clue what to do with my x. He's the sweetest guy I ever met. Unfortunately he has severe childhood trauma and an extremely manipulative mother. He very immature for his age. Not sure if no contact will work because neither one broke up and we just parted ways after a verbal fight. I'm usually the one that runs to him in the past. Trying no contact because I'm trusting Coach Lee. Wish me luck.
Thank you, coach. Would love to hear some more success or inspiring stories if possible. Love your work. I’ve been doing NC and it worked for self healing and feeling normal again, but it wasn’t always a linear process. It will be helpful to tell us some self healing stages and what to do when there are days that you just feel like in hell.
Mine started acting out of character and I felt him being so cold towards me. I decided to break up with him and he accepted only to discover that he was cheating on me for about a month with another lady. Finding this out broke my heart to pieces. He found out that I'm really hurting and he came back I guess out of sympathy but was still hiding the other lady from me. Just two days ago we had a nasty fight and we have since blocked each other. The pain is real😭 oh the betrayal. Please someone give me some comforting words coz I'm crushing.
Accept the pain and go through it … no matter how tough it is … but also take some time hitting the gym … it will help u release dopamine… and stay near to God …Peace ✌️
He is not a good man for you. Think about this, do you really want to be treated this way for the rest of your life? If you had a daughter being treated that way, would you want her to stay with the guy? He’s definitely not a right person and the breakup is a bless for you.
You are reacting out of pride. Your ego is taking control. You agreed on the breakup before knowing he was cheating on you. Consider this: if it wasn't because of the betrayal, would you still want him so badly?
You don't want to be with someone who dosnt choose you, he chose another woman. Respect youself and you deserve so much better than that. He is not the one. Be strong hun
Why am I the one who got broken up with, yet it feels like everything that’s been said is working against me? I feel like she's using your advice to push me away. She broke the no-contact agreement, but still keeps reminding me that she doesn’t want the relationship, as if trying to provoke a reaction from me. I’m doing my best to stay composed and control my emotions, but it’s really hard because I love her deeply. She has admitted that she won’t love anyone the way she loved me, and I know she still cares and wants the relationship, yet she’s saying she wants to be free. We had a truly good relationship, built on real love, and I believe she still feels that. But I don’t know how to get back to that place with her. How can I let go of someone so important and a relationship that was so good, just because of a misunderstanding? I also realize that she tends to avoid conflict and struggles to resolve issues, which makes things even harder.
Listen to coach Lee - he knows what he’s talking about! 2 weeks no contact, I stuck the emergency break up kit, watched all of his videos for support and he came back and said sorry. Thank you coach Lee ❤❤
I've come to accept that it is possible to like someone, yet still have the need to expand your relationship pool. If someone has moved away from you, they are controlling the momentum of the relationship. Until they recommit, its simply best to start including other people and getting new input. I heard from my friend but I found that I'm on a lower plane of closeness. At this point, I can live with that enough that I tell my friend that there needs to be some re-evaluation of the people in their lives - who is important and who isn't. I'm actually moved into a space where I'm fine no matter how it turns out at their end.
My ex feels that I emotionally cheated on her 59 days ago. I have disagreed with her claim to that, but I did indeed hurt her. 20 days ago, I reached out casually, and it seemed to be going well, so i asked her out for coffee. She still chose the breakup. I am moving on, and I hurt less with NC. . . But I feel she was made for me, and I her. I hope that in the future, she considers coming back to the relationship
My ex admitted they wanted space due to mental health. His life is getting on top of him. He was reaching out tho so I responded, and now he’s blocked me. So it’s no contact time. Give him the space for him to remember how happy he was with me and for him to help his mental health!
It's difficult to let go someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 3 years ended, but I couldn't just let he go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring he back, his TH-cam channel @droman01
A lot of people are scared of spiritual power because they think that there’s a side effect, for two years now I’m enjoying my marriage with the help of this amazing love spell caster.
I hope he doesn't regret his decision, because I'm now the happiest I've ever been. It's been 5 months since the breakup, and almost 3 months of no contact. I'm now trying things that I had on my bucket list, and I have a potential opportunity to apply for a job that pays really well. I wouldn't be able to consider going to that job if I stayed with him
My ex messaged me two days after he broke up w me saying sorry and I deserved more than what he said when he broke up with me I deserve the sun and stars and someone that loves me the way I love. We were together for 4 months but I've known him for years. So when he messaged me two days after the break up he said sorry but he can't give me what I need and he's not wanting a relationship. That i deserve more than he wants to or is ready to give. He cares about me and misses me right now and so on but still doesn't want me. I didn't reply. He treated me like a business deal when he ended it and wanted me to say that it's ok. We were very close like great friends too and shared a ton about our past and our lives. Should I have responded to the message that he sent two days after he dumped me? I'm torn. It's been a week today. Oh I was on vacation when he ended it. Nice huh? Should I have responded? If so what do i say to that?
At the start I did no contact work to get my ex back, and now I did the no contact phase I got a message from her asking about me and bring concerned and showing signs that she was missing me, I never initiated contact and it was clear she was thinking of me. She texted me a few times here and there but still staying with the rebound. But no contact has worked for me as I saw signs that it worked and to be honest I don’t want to be with her anymore, do no contact not only to try get your ex back but do it for yourself, it makes you feel so much better. At the start I thought I would never get over what happened, but now I am happy being myself and not worrying about her anymore, believe it.
Its really sad how people treat the people they claim to love. He bought me a fake perfume for val, I told him instead of buying me a fake versace why not buy another brand witht the same amount you spent on a fake Versace and he got pissed and ghosted. With a lot of previous disappearing and appearing, this time I too refused to reach out. I have had enough of the breadcrumbing..
I did no contact through out my relationship. And this is why most of them come back or contacted until today. At first, i dont understand. After watching more of this videos. And now I understand, I have the power to walk away and never come back to their life.
My girlfriend ended our relationship while grieving a very close friend who died suddenly. She ended it, just AS suddenly and with no explanation! Up until that point, we both thought we had found "The One". and we were meant to be together. I must admit, I didn't deal with it very well and text her probably 3 times a week, asking how she was, as she was in a bad place, even though she said to leave her be. She has now blocked me. I sent her a card saying sorry and that I wouldn't contact her anymore....and I haven't. I want her back. If it wasn't for her grieving, we'd still be together. Is there still hope?
Use Dan bacon + Coach Lee + develop attraction advice. Trust me you’ll get her back. My situation was even worse than yours. I didn’t give up. Don’t hope watch Dan bacon but know when to use Dan bacon’s advice when to use coach lee’s advice..!
I would like to thank you coach for letting people know that the 30 day rule is a joke. It takes longer than that. I'm a older guy I've been following you. Great job..
If you stay in no contact long enough, you’ll go from hoping she reaches out to hoping she never reaches out. Work on yourself, because you already know how that story ends, so don’t try to read that book twice.
I more realized that I'm better off without him..its much more things to do in life than thinking the person you trust and believe its someone who easily dumped you clear sign his not my man
With My ex before this one I kept contact not begging or convincing just in a friendly way I later sent an extremely angry email Then I cut contact . After a few months He texted to say He would be in my area , hinting at a catch up At this stage I didn’t want Him back I didn’t reply and never heard from Him again He had previously said He wanted to be friends I rejected this
It's difficult to let go someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 3 years ended, but I couldn't just let he go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring he back, his TH-cam channel @droman01
A lot of people are scared of spiritual power because they think that there’s a side effect, for two years now I’m enjoying my marriage with the help of this amazing love spell caster.
Back in January, i messed up and my partner left me. I sort of messed up more post break up with emotional attempts to get back together and eventually fell into no contact. She came back after two weeks and we reconnected. 10 weeks or so later, we were on a trip and she got upset at something i perceive to be relatively minor and following that broke up with me again. Sometimes i think we got back together too quickly and that led to the second, smaller issue triggering her to end things again. I am 100% in no contact now and will see how things go, but this time i feel like i will be okay no matter what.
It's difficult to let go someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 3 years ended, but I couldn't just let he go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring he back, his TH-cam channel @droman01
I established the no contact and I told him that I don't want to end up in the friend zone because I don't see myself there and because I still have feelings. Now I don't know if I've set the bar too high.
Coach Lee, can you make a video for when there are no signs of life from your ex after the breakup? It's been 80 days, and 43 since I broke NC. The whole time since breakup, I've had radio silence from my ex, she returned all of my things with a note and took down our photos before she deleted me on SM 1 week post breakup. I fear there's no chance, and I'm heart broken. Can you make a video about an Ex's radio silence? When I broke NC, she said "I might consider friendship eventually, but I'm no longer interested in a romantic relationship between us." This was the best relationship, I think either of us have had. She's 27, I'm 28, and I'm the first person she's said "I love you" to. We went to Germany together after 7 months of dating, and our relationship was amazing until the last eight weeks. I broke her trust because she thinks I emotionally cheated (no one else was involved). I fear she'll always cling to this, and her heart will never change.
She broke up with me and a month later we spent the night together and she than said i love you and i care about you but please give me time and space like i asked you for before wtf
Kinda the same thing...four months NC...she hit me up and messed around, cuddled and talked...I thought we were moving in the right direction. She laid in my arms telling me she missed me, talking about plans for us to do things together, told me she was 'mine'. Then for three weeks straight she pulled 'maybe next week' for meeting up again so I called her out letting her know that didn't really work for me...stopped texting her again, she never text me....about 6 weeks later she asks me to do her a favor without acknowledging anything I had said prior...I did it bc it was a w2 issue and I wanted to make sure she got her money. A month goes by and nothing...made the mistake of watching her story one day and bam....pregnancy scare posted LOL? People are weird man. Super weird
Idk if I’m commenting on the right video… I thought he was moving closer towards me again (I’m in NC & lately he’s the one that’s been coming up to me at events etc.) but yesterday he came over to get his clothes back. I had two of his jackets. It’s approaching three months since he broke up with me. Idk what’s going on now & what to do… I know he just got his stuff back but it feels like we freshly broke up all over again…
Anyone reading this please give me some advice I broke up with my ex in anger but I texted her and apologized the next day but she was done. I pleaded and begged also stalked but she was really cold. Our relationship was 3 years and was a good one. It's been 2 months total silence from me and 3 months from her. I was miserable the first month after breakup. Should I just let her go? I still have deep feelings for her.
My ex and I barely broke up about 2 weeks ago.I contacted him and went to see him as early as yesterday.But It backfired base based off of that I decided decided to stop altogether, in hopes that I can get him back with this method.
My ex reached out after 9 months to tell me their roommates dog passed away and how much they knew I love that dog. They also mentioned my pet that passed away few months earlier and asked if I was okay. I said I’m sorry for their loss and to keep their chin up. I didn’t say anything else or gave any information about my life. I do miss them terribly but it’s just not worth the emotional roller coaster
*What an excuse! X just wanted to reach out to you. Did they think telling you would bring the dog back to life? It was a way of say, "I miss you and just wanna talk to you by bringing up something without directly saying they miss you.*
He broke up 2 days before christmas, we still live in the apartment, he watched a new apartment last week and I don't want to lose him... I have to give him the breakup, but I feel horrible and miss him like crazy, even when he treat me like shit, lied to me multiple times and said after the breakup when I begged him that I should piss off an I'm ugly, he can't handle my character, he also said that breaking up with me was no mistake, after 3 month (dec until now), I feel crashed, I still see the good in him, because the beginning was so good and we had so good memories.. I don't know what to do... Coach Lee.
I can't watch enough of Coach Lee's videos. Coach Lee explanation is very logical and encouraging. However, I can't figure out if I am the dumper or dumpee now. it's only 2 weeks ago, I lost my temper and broke up with her during her difficult time. the thought of breakup had been boiling in my head for a month prior though. A week after I broke up with her, I did text her to pass her belongings back to her. She broke silence for the first time telling me why she never confirmed our relationship (despite there was real love and it was a real relationship) etc. Then she went on silent mode again for a week now. Now I feel like I am the dumpee, not a dumper. so I am confused if the No-contact rule will work.
AH !! heck no this is the very thing Coach lee talks about. Go back and look his past videos. You only yell, basically put energy into people you care about? right?
of course it can. But personally I'd write them a "goodbye" letter where I apologize for saying the things I said and if they broke up with you, say you think they're making a mistake and you hope one day they'll want to fix things with you. Then go NC.
Yes! Best thing to do for yourself is to take care of your self, let your emotions run through and than power up and take care of yourself and grow. Even if they have “moved on” it won’t last. They are trying to fill a void you left behind Let emotions out to yourself and friends, take care of yourself, create a plan to be the best version of yourself When they do come back, you’ll be strong enough to say no if that’s what you want Best of luck
I dumped him after a year because even though we went on dates, held hands, he asked me to kiss him in restaurants, we made love etc, he wouldn't claim me as his girlfriend. We had such fun together, I just don't understand.
What about an ex who came back after leaving you for someone else but doesnt want to open about the lies and deception? They claim they realize they love you and they made a mistake and just want things to go back as normal without discussing the issues.
The situation with my ex is complicated because he left after a fight due to feeling not good enough, low self esteem and fear of abandonment. I worry how no contact will make him feel
In a week it will be 3 months since he dumped me. I have not spoken to him but he randomly blocked me on social media 1 month ago. Is there any hope for me? We were together almost 3 and we were so in love
My ex did this. She was conflicted and almost came back 2 times but decided to stay with her rebound. And sadly I think she is going to marry him. The worst of the worst situation. So she jumps from me in the same week and finds her soulmate??? Seriously? How more unlucky can i get? Talk about sticking a knife in your heart.
@@Konsti1905 he was a family friend she had known for years. He found out she single and jumped at the chance. He is a snake. He took advantage of her situation. He is also a known womanizer
@@Sevoflurane2014 Unfortunately such People exist in this World. Had to learn it the hard way too. Mine left me for a Co-Worker. He made his moves when he found out that our relationship had some troubles. They where texting behind my back. It is just sad to see how the Person you love the most just ups and leaves at the next opportunity instead of working together on the relationship
You make a lot of sense. It’s difficult because he has now after me doing everything wrong, with short bursts of putting down boundaries - he saw some empty beer bottles and has told me he is insanely jealous and is demanding to know ‘who’ was drinking at our house. He’s open about being insanely jealous - it’s 8/9 weeks post break up, he only moved out 3 weeks ago - even though he says he is jealous and he can’t bare the thought of me with someone else, he is still standing by his decision ?? What can I do when I’ve done everything wrong so far ?
It's difficult to let go someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 3 years ended, but I couldn't just let he go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring he back, his TH-cam channel @droman01
How about if we were together for 4 months just exclusively dating? We had a few disagreements and she ended it. Already done the pleading texts etc and no response. Going NC now but I doubt she’ll come back. We were great together, I’m so angry at myself. Finally met someone I was so excited about and I scared them off
How do you know if nc is working on them when you are still block and you never reached out never beg never cheated never chase is almost ganna be a year this month
Coach: does the 90 - 120 day principal hold for short tern relationships? I'm currently on day 34 complete NC. I initiated the breakup due to my ex-girlfriend's low effort. Which I understand was partially due to losing her job. The good news is that she's working again. But the bd news is that she relocated back with her family an hour and a half away. We were together for just under 3mos. But I'm hoping that me being her first kiss and boyfriend (she's religious and reserved, and I'm assertive and outgoing, though we share Christian values) holds weight. She was indifferent at the breakup (I did it via text). But I'm wondering if it's unreasonable to think that she could still reconsider after a long NC period having dated just under 3 months. Your thoughts would be appreciate.
Idk if this will somebody reading idk what to do my distance releashionship ended 2 weeks ago i feel shit she told me 1 month before the breakup that her depression got back and she slowly was going away and stopdoing anything just lay in bed and 2 weeks ago ended it i tried to talk with her about it but she dont know either she says it hurts more beeing in a realiashionship i have not write her since the break up idk what to do she posted a tiktok about 4 sentence were like this he loves me until he realise how sensitiv i am and things like this i wanna reach to her out so much because this is not true and i have the feeling that her depression made wrong things in her head what should i do
Please help…. My ex has just told me I must give up hope. She loves me but she is not in love with me. She told me I must move on. This is after 2 months of no contact. What do I do now. I feel gutted . 6 years thrown away that easy. She is busy on dating sites , living her best life . She discarded me like I was nothing Please help … Darren
At the beginning of last year, my ex left me and I started doing no contact. After 9 months she came back and texted me and talked to me just like nothing happened. Because of the good times that we had I treated her respectfully and after a few days I told her that our ways are separate now and I don't want to marry her. Those months of no contact was hard but great for thinking with logic. I realized that the woman that I want to be my wife has to has to have some kind of attributes that makes her not crossing my red lines. I wanted thank coach Lee and coach Ken for helping me passing those hard times.
Or won't leave you
It is almost six months since i was discarded.. I still love him ... he reached out once but that's that... I know he doesn't love me but I can't give up false hope... any advice would help
@@lazydaisy4453NC rule is to prove resilience and strength of dealing with the breakup towards the dumpee.
On top of that you need to further prove you are unfazed and better outside of the relationship, It's attractive.
But from what I can tell, 6 months... one casual reach and how broken you seem with this comment... I say you need to practice grieving the breakup and move on. Accepting the loss and moving in is ironically the strongest you can seem. I hope you the best.
@@lazydaisy4453Actually, I advise you to give it up. Because when you give up on him, at the beginning it might be hard not to check on him but after you walk on a new path, eventually you're gonna love Yourself for making this decision and God for giving you a chance to be happy. I can understand you love him but what good is in loving someone that doesn't love you back? Your value is so much more than that.
Congratulations 🎊 👏 💐
I’m a 31 year old man, I’ve had multiple serious relationships in my life, and I’m telling anyone who’s reading this to listen to this guy. He is spot on. The only thing I would add is, when you give in to an ex no matter how long goes by or how much resistance you give, it’s a risky decision. They will leave you again if you don’t change your dynamic in the relationship.
Yes, but they must change from that side as well or it won't work
@@johnnoe6791 it's rare both people want to change at the same time. Usually one thinks they are not the problem. Flogging a dead donkey is a sure sign of madness.
It's difficult to let go someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 3 years ended, but I couldn't just let he go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring he back, his TH-cam channel @droman01
Oh you don't like to hallucinate
@@maxsheerin8219 my ex and I broke up recently we both decided we need to work on each other and taking the time to do that
Give them the break up. Stand your ground. Yes it's very difficult but you have to stay strong and trust the process and no matter what the result is, it's all gonna be worth it in the end. Stay SILENT. Your absence or silence is louder than banging the door. Let your silence be present on their mind. Let them feel your absence in their life. That way you become more attractive to them than the first time they felt it. Let them fear losing you. Let them think how you treated them, how you were with them and all the great memories thay had with you and the love they felt that feels magic when you were still together. Because all these will run in their mind and will make them fear the thought of you doing it to somebody else one day. This thoughts can make them crazy about you to the point that they will reach out and get back with you because they fear losing you forever. Again, listen to coach Lee. He knows exactly what he's talking about.
🔥😘❤
It’s not that deep. You wrote all this fantasyland stuff and meanwhile the other person clearly moved on. A break up is never a mistake and people should treat it like it’s the end. There is not need to keep up with an ex in any capacity.
Coach Lee is the boss.
"Love should not be based on emotions"
I cannot believe this is me, but my ex just reached out after almost 3 months. She sent a very elaborate video holding up cards with messaged on them for me, we spoke. I was excited but kept it calm and spoke candidly. We’re going to meet up in our hometown on Sunday and go to church (I want to make it clear that our relationship will not be as it was before). I am in absolute disbelief, thank you so much Coach Lee. You’re the MAN!
Don’t do it; you already know how it ends.
Do an update
@@NPCHSNwrong channel buddy
I think the two big things that I learned from coach Lee are : “ you can only do what you can do” and that “ you don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you “. Simple but when you think about it, so true. You can’t try to influence or chase someone that doesn’t want to be with you and you can’t force your love on them. Best to go silent no matter how much it hurts. Stay strong fellow dumpees, your time will come and the tides will turn.
True words, my friend..
“Fellow dumpees” 😂😂
It's difficult to let go someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 3 years ended, but I couldn't just let he go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring he back, his TH-cam channel @droman01
I am trying my best. It is so tough, so tough.
@@Kyle-MoneyProphet Update?
Love is a decision. Love is a choice. Love is a pledge. 10000%.
My separated wife dumped me because she was emotionally spiraling. Her parents went along with it and gave her all the support. They don't realize how much I was willing to put forth in this commitment called a marriage. I never wanted to give up. 8 months later we're still apart but no contact is helping me grow and learn about myself.
Stay hard my friend‼️
It's difficult to let go someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 3 years ended, but I couldn't just let he go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring he back, his TH-cam channel @droman01
Yeah move on
Look for someone better
Loving someone is a choice a daily one at that. Totally agree with you.
As for her parents; my ex’s mother blamed me for confronting him for not respecting my boundaries when it came to the females he worked with. From giving her a pet name to wanting to send her a bottle of wine then having coffee with her. His mother told me that I should never question a man, hence why her (still) husband had multiple affairs on her for her never questioning him. But yet I’m the bad guy. I had to accept that he will never do any wrong in her eyes and vice versa. Till this day she sends me messages wishing me well. It’s so odd. Not sure what to make of it except after he left me for confronting him, she’s been almost weekly texting me. I know it’ll come to an end when she can accept that we won’t get back together but I don’t know the purpose of her doing this.
You're truly 1 of the best coaches out here in such a ridiculously saturated market. You keep it simple, logical & straight to the point
I’m so grateful for your message. It’s an honor to have such a thing said about me. Thank you.
@@RealCoachLee I treated her nicely, respected her , I was overly available for her , she never lacked attention... Suddenly she said she wants to break up , that she's no longer attracted to me... Yes I had my boundaries, she had anger issues n emotional irritability as well... We had little back n forth were had always spoken to her calmly.. I really do like her, now I'm in no contact... What are the chances we will reach out..?
@@RealCoachLeeYou are my hero Coach Lee!! Without you i wouldn't have had the best chances of getting my ex back but also, i wouldn't have had my sanity to begin with. I have a really anxious attachment style of behavior. Indeed by following what you've said, I'm actually impressed with how good im handling it...I never thought I'd be that strong. I was broken up with almost 3 months ago and she is a good person. We've been together for 3 years. Almost 3 months and still going strong!!I will never give in to my basic instincts! My hand will not tremble...I still feel lonely sometimes, but through your videos, i feel companionship. Most of the pain has subsided and it gives me peace knowing that I'm doing all i can and it's literally the best thing to give myself the best odds, knowing full well that i might even "lose" but I've made peace with that possibility and view things now from a more positive stance. Time will tell if she was right for me...
She doesn’t care. 1 month of NC and I haven’t heard anything. She’s not gonna reach out so I’m slowly accepting it. Life goes on.
Try 9 and a half brother
Hang in there, nearly 2 years for me, it will get easier , i promise
Keep going trust me.
@@jayday187bro just move on that point
Max 90 Days then seek naturally the new companion. Never stay committed without trying new flavors after a curfew
Hi Coach Lee. Finding you and this channel has been a gamechanger for me. I first found one of your articles that explained the mindset of the dumper & the dynamics in a breakup where one party is a dictator. It made such perfect sense, and it instantly made me feel better. I find that many resources (other coaches and online articles) say "You will get over him", "This too shall pass", but when you're in love with someone, you dont WANT to get over them, you don't want it to pass. You are grasping for hope; hope that they will come back. Because in this situation, they mean the world to you, and the thought of losing them feels like the sun will never rise again. So saying "You will get over it" means "You will be ok with never seeing the sun again" which is crazy. And what you do SO beautifully is comfort us with your pedagogical words, soft voice, straight logic, and calm energy. You explain to us that the breakup is due to a lack of attraction, and you MAKE US want to stay away to regain control, You make us realize what we are too blinded to see. And day by day, we regain our strength, and we find out that the journey is not about getting our ex back, it is about claiming our own energy, it's about being who we are meant to be. So by giving us hope that we will get our ex back, we actually get over them, little by little, because we start realizing our own worth. It's like "I see what you did there, Coach Lee, making me think I was hoping to get my ex back when really I was learning to love myself again". THANK YOU a thousand times. You're literally my hero
Great comment. Coach Lee tricks you into loving yourself the most!
Even more when you have a Young child together, and you get panicked , for the effects on them about that situation, when their parents dont live together
This comment is the best
Coach Lee saved my relationship! I went no contact after our second breakup for 3 weeks. I called her over a few days before her birthday to give her a goofy card. We talked things over and got back together. During those 3 weeks, I identified and fixed the issues on my side. When she returned, she noticed immediately. Coach Lee is right! She said she thought about me every day and prayed for me back daily. She went on 2 dates to try to move on and she was so hung up on me, she hated both dates, further wanting me back. GIVE THE GIRL THE BREAKUP! Don't chase. If you were good to them, they'll want you back.
That's just 10% cases and I m among 90%
One of the greatest videos coach lee has ever made. This is how I view love. It cannot just be based on your serotonin levels in a given day. It is a choice and a commitment.
hey yall, i used to watch this guy RELIGOUSLY a few years ago. I want yall to know its painful for a WHILE but eventually this will all be funny to you like it is for me now. I now see she was INSANE and even though I havent dated since just cuz idc lmao but im very content now and you will be too!
God is Great.
Coach, if I know I need to stop giving energy to the breakup and to help myself move on, doesn’t that mean at some point I need to ween myself off these videos? Your videos are the only thing that takes the edge off. I know NC doesn’t always work, and that it’s in my best interest to kill any hope so that I don’t prolong suffering. From an internet stranger with a broken heart, thankyou man. (Currently 2 weeks NC)
2 weeks is a short amount of time for no contact. Although, depending on how long you were together and the reason for the break, over coming the loss can take months. But yes, after awhile it could be a good idea to stop watching so many videos so that your mind can begin to focus on other things
2 weeks is not a long time. The videos help you deal with it over time. It's been 4 months..
I'm headed toward 10mo NC and you'll feel that way for a while. What I did was branch out to other coaches for alternative perspectives because what you should really focus on is facing the reality that they are gone and begin the actual rebuilding/healing process. Other coaches will say the exact same stuff, just worded differently. Once your brain itself can process the breakup, you'll be able to work on yourself and that's when you'll naturally decide to drop or keep watching these videos. Familiarize yourself with Coach Ken's Dark Limerence because that was one of the hardest parts for me at about 6-7 months.
Now, I still watch them because A. I'm still in NC, but it's more to keep myself accountable, and B. When she wasn't here, he was.
No contact is meant for you to work on yourself and rediscover urself not waiting for ur ex to contact you
It may take years for ur ex to reach out so don't bother waiting it's time to move on
Good question. My videos are more to give you possibilities to consider. Some people keep watching my videos because they soothe them and they continue to learn about relationships. Mostly people feel better when they get to the point that they have talked about it quite a bit and need to stop.
You saved me! No contact is the best thing I have ever done ❤
It's difficult to let go someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 3 years ended, but I couldn't just let he go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring he back, his TH-cam channel @droman01
3 year relationship.
Ex text guys behind my back.
The last 6 months went toxic.
Police called to final breakup.
I went into No Contact forever and never contacted the ex in any shape, form or way and its been 3 years and I will continue no contact, ex has picture on WhatsApp with same sex, looks like ex went for same sex
Any thoughts, or opinions, advice much appreciated,
Thank you
Nice ! What happened ?
@@emerald1541 it basically taught me not to go after people that don't want me, I used to think that being ghosted, left on delivered, the person not keeping promises, not remembering anything that they said, not putting effort, were totally acceptable things, because the person called me wifey, but did the opposite of it, I thought it was okay, but when I went no contact, I saw things differently, I realized that who wants you, shows it and means it, inconsistency is not okay, I only learned it after being in no contact, it is better to be single than with the wrong person.
I always talk to people about you, sir. Whether it be if someone is in a relationship, broken up, or just plain single, your knowledge can help out on any situation when it comes to relationships. Thank you, Coach, for your expert help!
Thank you so much Moses! I’m grateful.
It's difficult to let go someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 3 years ended, but I couldn't just let he go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring he back, his TH-cam channel @droman01
Love your calm, measured approach to relationships. Thank you, Coach Lee.
It's difficult to let go someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 3 years ended, but I couldn't just let he go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring he back, his TH-cam channel @droman01
What I've learned is simple. Some women (unhealed, still paralyzed by attachment trauma) would rather hold onto their pride, move on and SETTLE for less especially if the next mate is a pushover and doesn't hold them accountable for their behavior.. it's just way easier than admitting their faults. Happened with my ex wife, and ex gf post-marriage. NC isn't the end all be all people, it worked for me multiple times actually... However, if there's no self awareness and real healing done and they don't do the healing work needed during NC, then you're just wasting your time with them.
Haven‘t heard such facts in a while. That‘s exactly how I felt about my ex during everything surrounding the break up and post break up nc stage.
Dude it hurts a lot more when I think about what I did, I was so mean. All my fault, she gave me chance after chance.
What gets me is she has always said she wouldn't be with anyone else, even when she left yesterday morning, she said she loves me and won't be with anyone. Which seems like her but why leave if it's true love? 1.5 year long distance relationship gone because I wasn't in a good mood. God lord help me, help us all who realize what they've done
Yeah, that's why Coach Lee talks about these as if the relationship was a pretty good one, because each case can differ.
Sounds similar to a situation I have been through. I may relate to her feelings and might be able to give you some insight, if so. Sorry you're hurting so much, but it may turn around for you both.
This is what happened with my ex fiancee
As i read comment after 100's of comments, all thanking Coach Lee, I gotta join in an say! THANK YOU Coach LEE. You obviously have a GOD given GIFT!
Back in 2019 I ran across this channel and watched a ton of videos: helped me with a breakup and she came running back. Covid 2020 in June she broke it off and I got the breakup kit and basically followed it to a T. Within days she kept asking about me and to see me. Got back together and moved in: today we are in the I need space break part. I decided to go back to these videos. And I did give some push back the last week to the break and space but I agreed and said okay. Now it’s time to watch these and remind myself of what to do. Whatever the outcome is if we get back together or not and move out it’s good for peace of mind.
Looks like she is taking you for granted, she knows every time she breaks up you will take her back. This time why don't change the format a bit.
No contact for too long will reverse feelings. Now the dumpee will begin to lose interest in the dumper and as you said he has damaged his position and things will not be the same again. So the dumpee will not be interested to be back again with him. 😝
Yes Coach Lee is always on the spot! Give them a "nothing burger"!
If she gets the help she talked about getting and I improve myself in the ways I want to, and she comes back, we could have something really great! No contact is helping me way more than I thought it would.
How's it been so far? Any contact from her yet? I literally got blocked on absolutely every social she had. She didn't have much friends so it's hard to see what she's up to
@@Unknownuserhtps just one text when she saw my house had flooded on Facebook asking how bad it was. Nothing after that. I texted her happy birthday and just a “thanks!” in reply. She’s highly avoidant. I highly doubt she’s coming back at this point. It’s almost been three months.
Hey Bruce ant news ?
@@emerald1541 I couldn’t leave it alone and like a freakin idiot, I drove by her place last night at midnight and there was another car parked right next to hers and all the lights were off. I’m assuming the worst.
@@BruceJC75 ahhhhh mannn, that's tough to hear. Although we never know what's it really and our brain makes up the worst every time so don't beat yourself up. It really can be anything else.
You popped up in my feed. I think you're awesome.
Coach Lee, Thank you for all your videos and advice about breakups. After sending a few texts, to which she did not respond, I found your videos. They have been super helpful!! I stopped texting and “gave her the breakup she wanted”. 90 days later she reached out. Again, I followed your advice and responded positively but said I wanted to go slow. We have begun seeing each other regularly again. She has told me that after I stopped reaching out she started to get curious and finally began to miss me. Thank you for the great advice! PRE
I apreciate you reminding that emotions are chemical changes in the brain 🧠🧬
My ex and I were together for 13 years. I kinda had a feeling that a breakup was coming and it did. It’s been almost two months since the breakup and we still haven’t spoken. I reached out and got the silent treatment. Went no contact again for three weeks then reached out again. Got the silent treatment again. This is typical avoidant behavior for him but all I’ve done is chase him and give him everything for 13 years so he probably thinks he can easily get me back. Well, not this time. I love him but I’m not going to continue to be treated this way. He has a lot of work to do if he decides he wants to try again. I don’t even know if I’ll even accept him back even though I love him with all of my heart. The trust is gone.
I will be staying in no contact, even if we never speak again. The thought tears me up inside but it has to be done. I’ve always been there and he does need to feel the loss, unfortunately.
It's difficult to let go someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 3 years ended, but I couldn't just let he go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring he back, his TH-cam channel @droman01
We're in the same situation.
Thank you. Love is a pledge. A decision not based on flitting emotions. It must be a disipline. If you love someone you must be patient. Control oneself. Mind over matter. You are right sir. Thank you. ❤🙏
It's difficult to let go someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 3 years ended, but I couldn't just let he go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring he back, his TH-cam channel @droman01
The most important thing to realize is that if a person thinks they have the leverage or value to practice inconsistency show them the repercussions and consequences of their actions. There is always someone better suited for you. They fumbled the bag. 😊❤🎉
Wow Coach Lee - as the ‘dumper’ - you are REALLY good at this!!
I’ve started watching his videos years ago and trust me guys it works. Even if you move on or they don’t come back. Understand some relationships are just dead! Done. Left and came back too many times. Good thing is you’ll have the tools for the next relationship if ever in a situation like this again.
No clue what to do with my x. He's the sweetest guy I ever met. Unfortunately he has severe childhood trauma and an extremely manipulative mother. He very immature for his age. Not sure if no contact will work because neither one broke up and we just parted ways after a verbal fight. I'm usually the one that runs to him in the past. Trying no contact because I'm trusting Coach Lee. Wish me luck.
He isn't your ex if neither one of you haven't broke up with each other.
Well we haven't seen eachother or communicated since Feb 23. So I consider it a constructive breakup.
Thank you, coach. Would love to hear some more success or inspiring stories if possible. Love your work. I’ve been doing NC and it worked for self healing and feeling normal again, but it wasn’t always a linear process. It will be helpful to tell us some self healing stages and what to do when there are days that you just feel like in hell.
Mine started acting out of character and I felt him being so cold towards me. I decided to break up with him and he accepted only to discover that he was cheating on me for about a month with another lady. Finding this out broke my heart to pieces. He found out that I'm really hurting and he came back I guess out of sympathy but was still hiding the other lady from me. Just two days ago we had a nasty fight and we have since blocked each other. The pain is real😭 oh the betrayal. Please someone give me some comforting words coz I'm crushing.
Accept the pain and go through it … no matter how tough it is … but also take some time hitting the gym … it will help u release dopamine… and stay near to God …Peace ✌️
He is not a good man for you. Think about this, do you really want to be treated this way for the rest of your life? If you had a daughter being treated that way, would you want her to stay with the guy? He’s definitely not a right person and the breakup is a bless for you.
You are reacting out of pride. Your ego is taking control.
You agreed on the breakup before knowing he was cheating on you.
Consider this: if it wasn't because of the betrayal, would you still want him so badly?
Trust no contact, work on yourself. It will work out in your favor.
You don't want to be with someone who dosnt choose you, he chose another woman. Respect youself and you deserve so much better than that. He is not the one. Be strong hun
Love you coach. You're keeping me sane in this tough situation.
1. Lay The Groundwork
2. Reconsideration (No Need To Fight)
3. When It's Time Sensitive
4. Reset of the Attraction Dynamics
5. The Fork in the Road
Why am I the one who got broken up with, yet it feels like everything that’s been said is working against me? I feel like she's using your advice to push me away. She broke the no-contact agreement, but still keeps reminding me that she doesn’t want the relationship, as if trying to provoke a reaction from me. I’m doing my best to stay composed and control my emotions, but it’s really hard because I love her deeply. She has admitted that she won’t love anyone the way she loved me, and I know she still cares and wants the relationship, yet she’s saying she wants to be free.
We had a truly good relationship, built on real love, and I believe she still feels that. But I don’t know how to get back to that place with her. How can I let go of someone so important and a relationship that was so good, just because of a misunderstanding? I also realize that she tends to avoid conflict and struggles to resolve issues, which makes things even harder.
Exactly the video I need coach Lee you’re a lifesaver
Thank you man I'm really going through it I want her back so bad and you give me peace that there might be a chance
Listen to coach Lee - he knows what he’s talking about! 2 weeks no contact, I stuck the emergency break up kit, watched all of his videos for support and he came back and said sorry. Thank you coach Lee ❤❤
Who else is ready for another banger? This one might break the internet!
How so?
Love is a decision is 100 percent correct.
I've come to accept that it is possible to like someone, yet still have the need to expand your relationship pool. If someone has moved away from you, they are controlling the momentum of the relationship. Until they recommit, its simply best to start including other people and getting new input. I heard from my friend but I found that I'm on a lower plane of closeness. At this point, I can live with that enough that I tell my friend that there needs to be some re-evaluation of the people in their lives - who is important and who isn't. I'm actually moved into a space where I'm fine no matter how it turns out at their end.
My ex feels that I emotionally cheated on her 59 days ago. I have disagreed with her claim to that, but I did indeed hurt her. 20 days ago, I reached out casually, and it seemed to be going well, so i asked her out for coffee. She still chose the breakup. I am moving on, and I hurt less with NC. . . But I feel she was made for me, and I her. I hope that in the future, she considers coming back to the relationship
if you are the reason why they broke up with you, it's reasonable to ask forgiveness and ask for a second chance...
Hey Coach Lee 🙂 Thanks for the advise ❤
My ex admitted they wanted space due to mental health. His life is getting on top of him. He was reaching out tho so I responded, and now he’s blocked me. So it’s no contact time. Give him the space for him to remember how happy he was with me and for him to help his mental health!
I wish I had u tube 15 years ago
This guy is right on
It's difficult to let go someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 3 years ended, but I couldn't just let he go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring he back, his TH-cam channel @droman01
A lot of people are scared of spiritual power because they think that there’s a side effect, for two years now I’m enjoying my marriage with the help of this amazing love spell caster.
NC works! Believe me!
Thank you couch Lee🙏
I hope he doesn't regret his decision, because I'm now the happiest I've ever been. It's been 5 months since the breakup, and almost 3 months of no contact. I'm now trying things that I had on my bucket list, and I have a potential opportunity to apply for a job that pays really well. I wouldn't be able to consider going to that job if I stayed with him
My ex messaged me two days after he broke up w me saying sorry and I deserved more than what he said when he broke up with me I deserve the sun and stars and someone that loves me the way I love. We were together for 4 months but I've known him for years. So when he messaged me two days after the break up he said sorry but he can't give me what I need and he's not wanting a relationship. That i deserve more than he wants to or is ready to give. He cares about me and misses me right now and so on but still doesn't want me. I didn't reply. He treated me like a business deal when he ended it and wanted me to say that it's ok. We were very close like great friends too and shared a ton about our past and our lives. Should I have responded to the message that he sent two days after he dumped me? I'm torn. It's been a week today. Oh I was on vacation when he ended it. Nice huh? Should I have responded? If so what do i say to that?
At the start I did no contact work to get my ex back, and now I did the no contact phase I got a message from her asking about me and bring concerned and showing signs that she was missing me, I never initiated contact and it was clear she was thinking of me. She texted me a few times here and there but still staying with the rebound. But no contact has worked for me as I saw signs that it worked and to be honest I don’t want to be with her anymore, do no contact not only to try get your ex back but do it for yourself, it makes you feel so much better. At the start I thought I would never get over what happened, but now I am happy being myself and not worrying about her anymore, believe it.
Good morning Coach Lee! Amazing video🥰!
I am 51 my wife of 25 years 8 months ago decided she wants to be “Happy” 8 months later she is not happy and cries every time she sees me
Its really sad how people treat the people they claim to love.
He bought me a fake perfume for val, I told him instead of buying me a fake versace why not buy another brand witht the same amount you spent on a fake Versace and he got pissed and ghosted. With a lot of previous disappearing and appearing, this time I too refused to reach out. I have had enough of the breadcrumbing..
The best coach out there
I’m honored by your kind words. Thank you.
I did no contact through out my relationship. And this is why most of them come back or contacted until today.
At first, i dont understand.
After watching more of this videos.
And now I understand, I have the power to walk away and never come back to their life.
My girlfriend ended our relationship while grieving a very close friend who died suddenly. She ended it, just AS suddenly and with no explanation! Up until that point, we both thought we had found "The One". and we were meant to be together.
I must admit, I didn't deal with it very well and text her probably 3 times a week, asking how she was, as she was in a bad place, even though she said to leave her be. She has now blocked me. I sent her a card saying sorry and that I wouldn't contact her anymore....and I haven't. I want her back. If it wasn't for her grieving, we'd still be together. Is there still hope?
Use Dan bacon + Coach Lee + develop attraction advice. Trust me you’ll get her back. My situation was even worse than yours. I didn’t give up. Don’t hope watch Dan bacon but know when to use Dan bacon’s advice when to use coach lee’s advice..!
I would like to thank you coach for letting people know that the 30 day rule is a joke. It takes longer than that. I'm a older guy I've been following you. Great job..
If you stay in no contact long enough, you’ll go from hoping she reaches out to hoping she never reaches out. Work on yourself, because you already know how that story ends, so don’t try to read that book twice.
I more realized that I'm better off without him..its much more things to do in life than thinking the person you trust and believe its someone who easily dumped you clear sign his not my man
It's been almost two years. I'm looking at the actions speak louder than we words idea and realize that somehow I have to move on and get over it.
With My ex before this one
I kept contact not begging or convincing just in a friendly way
I later sent an extremely angry email
Then I cut contact .
After a few months He texted to say He would be in my area , hinting at a catch up
At this stage I didn’t want Him back
I didn’t reply and never heard from Him again
He had previously said He wanted to be friends
I rejected this
My ex gave me the 'you'll never find anyone as good as me' line...just let that emotional outburst roll off my back. I know better.
It's difficult to let go someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 3 years ended, but I couldn't just let he go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring he back, his TH-cam channel @droman01
A lot of people are scared of spiritual power because they think that there’s a side effect, for two years now I’m enjoying my marriage with the help of this amazing love spell caster.
Love after heartbreak by Stephan Speaks is a great book! I read it twice!
Back in January, i messed up and my partner left me. I sort of messed up more post break up with emotional attempts to get back together and eventually fell into no contact. She came back after two weeks and we reconnected.
10 weeks or so later, we were on a trip and she got upset at something i perceive to be relatively minor and following that broke up with me again. Sometimes i think we got back together too quickly and that led to the second, smaller issue triggering her to end things again. I am 100% in no contact now and will see how things go, but this time i feel like i will be okay no matter what.
It's difficult to let go someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 3 years ended, but I couldn't just let he go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring he back, his TH-cam channel @droman01
I’m so mature I giggle every time u say dumper
I established the no contact and I told him that I don't want to end up in the friend zone because I don't see myself there and because I still have feelings. Now I don't know if I've set the bar too high.
Coach Lee, can you make a video for when there are no signs of life from your ex after the breakup? It's been 80 days, and 43 since I broke NC. The whole time since breakup, I've had radio silence from my ex, she returned all of my things with a note and took down our photos before she deleted me on SM 1 week post breakup. I fear there's no chance, and I'm heart broken. Can you make a video about an Ex's radio silence?
When I broke NC, she said "I might consider friendship eventually, but I'm no longer interested in a romantic relationship between us." This was the best relationship, I think either of us have had. She's 27, I'm 28, and I'm the first person she's said "I love you" to. We went to Germany together after 7 months of dating, and our relationship was amazing until the last eight weeks.
I broke her trust because she thinks I emotionally cheated (no one else was involved).
I fear she'll always cling to this, and her heart will never change.
She broke up with me and a month later we spent the night together and she than said i love you and i care about you but please give me time and space like i asked you for before wtf
Kinda the same thing...four months NC...she hit me up and messed around, cuddled and talked...I thought we were moving in the right direction. She laid in my arms telling me she missed me, talking about plans for us to do things together, told me she was 'mine'. Then for three weeks straight she pulled 'maybe next week' for meeting up again so I called her out letting her know that didn't really work for me...stopped texting her again, she never text me....about 6 weeks later she asks me to do her a favor without acknowledging anything I had said prior...I did it bc it was a w2 issue and I wanted to make sure she got her money. A month goes by and nothing...made the mistake of watching her story one day and bam....pregnancy scare posted LOL? People are weird man. Super weird
Idk if I’m commenting on the right video… I thought he was moving closer towards me again (I’m in NC & lately he’s the one that’s been coming up to me at events etc.) but yesterday he came over to get his clothes back. I had two of his jackets. It’s approaching three months since he broke up with me. Idk what’s going on now & what to do… I know he just got his stuff back but it feels like we freshly broke up all over again…
Thanks coach !
Anyone reading this please give me some advice
I broke up with my ex in anger but I texted her and apologized the next day but she was done. I pleaded and begged also stalked but she was really cold. Our relationship was 3 years and was a good one. It's been 2 months total silence from me and 3 months from her. I was miserable the first month after breakup. Should I just let her go? I still have deep feelings for her.
My ex and I barely broke up about 2 weeks ago.I contacted him and went to see him as early as yesterday.But It backfired base based off of that I decided decided to stop altogether, in hopes that I can get him back with this method.
My ex reached out after 9 months to tell me their roommates dog passed away and how much they knew I love that dog. They also mentioned my pet that passed away few months earlier and asked if I was okay. I said I’m sorry for their loss and to keep their chin up. I didn’t say anything else or gave any information about my life. I do miss them terribly but it’s just not worth the emotional roller coaster
*What an excuse! X just wanted to reach out to you. Did they think telling you would bring the dog back to life? It was a way of say, "I miss you and just wanna talk to you by bringing up something without directly saying they miss you.*
He broke up 2 days before christmas, we still live in the apartment, he watched a new apartment last week and I don't want to lose him... I have to give him the breakup, but I feel horrible and miss him like crazy, even when he treat me like shit, lied to me multiple times and said after the breakup when I begged him that I should piss off an I'm ugly, he can't handle my character, he also said that breaking up with me was no mistake, after 3 month (dec until now), I feel crashed, I still see the good in him, because the beginning was so good and we had so good memories.. I don't know what to do... Coach Lee.
You give him the breakup and move on with your life.
Listening to your words it all makes sense, every single step. Are there people who can actually confirm this?
I can't watch enough of Coach Lee's videos. Coach Lee explanation is very logical and encouraging.
However, I can't figure out if I am the dumper or dumpee now. it's only 2 weeks ago, I lost my temper and broke up with her during her difficult time. the thought of breakup had been boiling in my head for a month prior though. A week after I broke up with her, I did text her to pass her belongings back to her. She broke silence for the first time telling me why she never confirmed our relationship (despite there was real love and it was a real relationship) etc. Then she went on silent mode again for a week now.
Now I feel like I am the dumpee, not a dumper. so I am confused if the No-contact rule will work.
We broke up very badly, he yelled at me and i called him names, i assume that the video doesn't work in my case, right?
AH !! heck no this is the very thing Coach lee talks about. Go back and look his past videos. You only yell, basically put energy into people you care about? right?
of course it can. But personally I'd write them a "goodbye" letter where I apologize for saying the things I said and if they broke up with you, say you think they're making a mistake and you hope one day they'll want to fix things with you. Then go NC.
of course it does.
most break ups go badly.
however, it's up to the dumper to reach out, not the dumpee.
You should probably apologize before going into no contact
Yeah but does this apply when they are narcissists and already moved on immediately after breakup
Yes! Best thing to do for yourself is to take care of your self, let your emotions run through and than power up and take care of yourself and grow. Even if they have “moved on” it won’t last. They are trying to fill a void you left behind
Let emotions out to yourself and friends, take care of yourself, create a plan to be the best version of yourself
When they do come back, you’ll be strong enough to say no if that’s what you want
Best of luck
I dumped him after a year because even though we went on dates, held hands, he asked me to kiss him in restaurants, we made love etc, he wouldn't claim me as his girlfriend. We had such fun together, I just don't understand.
9 days NC with him, he’s repulsed by me, I feel so worthless
What if you makes at first, then ignore them
What does it mean when Ex comes back after no contact to drive me home from hospital, make me dinner only to say, “don’t be a stranger”?
you gave them the validation they wanted...you shouldn't have contacted
What about an ex who came back after leaving you for someone else but doesnt want to open about the lies and deception? They claim they realize they love you and they made a mistake and just want things to go back as normal without discussing the issues.
It’s up to you. But know that health boundaries and communication is what’s going to keep you two together in the future
Doesn't want to open about the lies and deception? Lol , why are you even taking her back. Have some self respect. Find someone better
The situation with my ex is complicated because he left after a fight due to feeling not good enough, low self esteem and fear of abandonment. I worry how no contact will make him feel
Best video
Thanks!
In a week it will be 3 months since he dumped me. I have not spoken to him but he randomly blocked me on social media 1 month ago. Is there any hope for me? We were together almost 3 and we were so in love
While in no contact, your ex realizes that they ain't $#!+
Is it work second time?
My ex did this. She was conflicted and almost came back 2 times but decided to stay with her rebound. And sadly I think she is going to marry him. The worst of the worst situation. So she jumps from me in the same week and finds her soulmate??? Seriously? How more unlucky can i get? Talk about sticking a knife in your heart.
Gurantee that she met him before.
@@dalenrunge3381 they are family friends. Known each other for long time.
100 % she had met him before she dumped you.
Trust me.
Same shit happened to me.
@@Konsti1905 he was a family friend she had known for years. He found out she single and jumped at the chance. He is a snake. He took advantage of her situation. He is also a known womanizer
@@Sevoflurane2014
Unfortunately such People exist in this World. Had to learn it the hard way too. Mine left me for a Co-Worker. He made his moves when he found out that our relationship had some troubles.
They where texting behind my back.
It is just sad to see how the Person you love the most just ups and leaves at the next opportunity instead of working together on the relationship
You make a lot of sense. It’s difficult because he has now after me doing everything wrong, with short bursts of putting down boundaries - he saw some empty beer bottles and has told me he is insanely jealous and is demanding to know ‘who’ was drinking at our house. He’s open about being insanely jealous - it’s 8/9 weeks post break up, he only moved out 3 weeks ago - even though he says he is jealous and he can’t bare the thought of me with someone else, he is still standing by his decision ?? What can I do when I’ve done everything wrong so far ?
It's difficult to let go someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 3 years ended, but I couldn't just let he go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring he back, his TH-cam channel @droman01
How about if we were together for 4 months just exclusively dating? We had a few disagreements and she ended it. Already done the pleading texts etc and no response. Going NC now but I doubt she’ll come back. We were great together, I’m so angry at myself. Finally met someone I was so excited about and I scared them off
Coach lee i broke no contact after 14 days now I'm in no contact again will it still work ?
It can and I have seen it but it depends on several details. You probably just delayed things.
How do you know if nc is working on them when you are still block and you never reached out never beg never cheated never chase is almost ganna be a year this month
Coach: does the 90 - 120 day principal hold for short tern relationships? I'm currently on day 34 complete NC.
I initiated the breakup due to my ex-girlfriend's low effort. Which I understand was partially due to losing her job. The good news is that she's working again. But the bd news is that she relocated back with her family an hour and a half away. We were together for just under 3mos. But I'm hoping that me being her first kiss and boyfriend (she's religious and reserved, and I'm assertive and outgoing, though we share Christian values) holds weight.
She was indifferent at the breakup (I did it via text). But I'm wondering if it's unreasonable to think that she could still reconsider after a long NC period having dated just under 3 months. Your thoughts would be appreciate.
Idk if this will somebody reading idk what to do my distance releashionship ended 2 weeks ago i feel shit she told me 1 month before the breakup that her depression got back and she slowly was going away and stopdoing anything just lay in bed and 2 weeks ago ended it i tried to talk with her about it but she dont know either she says it hurts more beeing in a realiashionship i have not write her since the break up idk what to do she posted a tiktok about 4 sentence were like this he loves me until he realise how sensitiv i am and things like this i wanna reach to her out so much because this is not true and i have the feeling that her depression made wrong things in her head what should i do
Please help….
My ex has just told me I must give up hope. She loves me but she is not in love with me.
She told me I must move on.
This is after 2 months of no contact.
What do I do now. I feel gutted .
6 years thrown away that easy.
She is busy on dating sites , living her best life .
She discarded me like I was nothing
Please help …
Darren
Love you thank you