Doubt my ex feels my loss. She broke up with me 8 months ago via text and I haven't heard anything from her since. I did not plead or chase after the breakup. I loved her and put her needs first. If there's a silver lining to my story is that I carried myself with dignity and self respect when my ex couldn't even give me that courtesey. Thank you Coach Lee for your words of wisdom and encouragement.
Similar situation, years together and he left without reason in an instant never to be heard from or seen again. Been 6 months. I didn't beg and gave him the breakup from the start respectfully.
Good for you man as long as you did right by yourself and her you can carry yourself well knowing you did what was right even if the outcome was one you didn’t want. I’m trying my best to do that too.
Similar thing happened with me. September 2023 my ex gf broke up with me by leaving a note on the kitchen table after a 7 and a half year relationship. Haven't literally talked since that time. She emailed in May. Next day she blocked me on social media and I haven't heard from her since. I didn't chase or plead either. She confessed her love to me everyday, wanted to get married, the whole nine. When she left that note I was totally in shock.
@@ajfedz This channel is for people who want their exs back or want to feel better but if you can move on then it’s your win so stop discouraging others who want something else
@Suarez-d7f my ex left me on February 24, 2022. I wanted her back and watched every video coach lee made. I wanted her back big time. She never came back. Looking back on things, it's a process we all have to go through. Let your ex go. Move on! That's coming from someone who desperately felt the same as you.
Guys.. please go NC. It works! I went NC for 6 months not looking at her IG stories, reaching out, etc. She came back and even told me it bothered her that I removed my attention. Focus on yourself and they will be back. Also, she is an avoidant so in the first 1-2 months after the break up, she felt free and relieved. However after month 3+ she felt the loss. You MUST remove yourself from her life. It builds respect and shows you can stay away and create boundaries. Wishing all the best to everyone watching these videos. Thank you Coach Lee!!!
My ex and I broke up back in July, did NC for 3 months (funny enough, both of us deactivated social media without ever telling each other and we didn’t even know because neither was looking at each others stories and such). My ex is also a fearful avoidant. We ran into each other at a local park completely unplanned and since she dumped me, I made it her job to get me back. I acted like I didn’t know who she was and she approached me, asked if we could try things again, etc. Dated for a month before she ended up pulling the exact same discard she did the first time, word for word, almost like this is scripted inside her mind. I ended up just blocking her and moving on. Theres billions of women on this planet and while she’s the coolest one I’ve met yet, I’ve also said that about all my other exes so I’m sure I’ll find a better one than her eventually.
Hopefully you didn't take her back....because if you took her back after all of that, then youre weak and you just Lost. Thats an L. She now knows she can bail out whenever she wants and still get u back.
If she left, it is because there is someone else she's excited about. If she comes back, don't take her back! it simply means it didn't work with the other dude, and you're her 2nd option. Never be someone's 2nd option.
That's the way it happened with me. She left me, had already started the other relationship behind my back. But after a year of suffering over it, I was finally ready to move on. Somehow, she sensed this because 13 months after leaving me, she showed up at my apartment, just to "see how I was doing". We wound up having sex that night, but after she left, I had no idea whether she'd ever come back again, but by then I was so over her that I truly didn't care whether I saw her again or not. She did come back from time to time (with the same result), but I never showed any interest in us getting back together again. It went on like that for a few months, until I met somebody else. When I told her about my new girlfriend, she was stunned and finally told me she really wanted us to get back together again. Gotta admit, it did feel satisfying to be the one to send her away after what she had done to me.
If both partners miss each other and most importantly have worked on themselves then I think it’s possible to get back with someone. If you’re just the same two people who split and want to get back together because it was comfortable then I agree with you
@@Mick-r3c your mistake was to allow her to do it a 2nd time. NO second chances, once they've moved on make that forever she's not into you and isn't a woman of Noble character only date a genuine born-again woman of virtue. They are hard to find.
I found the first 3-6 months really difficult after being dumped but once you get through this period I found it easier to move forward with my life and not focusing on getting back with them. Obviously this is my personal experience and this is different for everybody, but I believe time is the key and my advice is to take each day as it comes take small steps and think of the experience as a positive rather than a negative because exes don’t always come back and that is not necessarily a bad thing. Good luck to everyone going through a break up time really does do wonders keep pushing through ❤
Sometimes someone leaving is a blessing in disguise. I like to think of it as the universe or God protecting us from someone and situation that was going to be harmful to us in some way even if we couldn't see it.
My ex broke up with me after 12 years. Its only been a few weeks and a few days ago i wrote down all the stuff i did for her vs how she was treating me. I was blown away by how much I was a door mat for her. She walked all over me. Ive been sleeping so much better since that day. I was so good to her & got nothing back in return.
I divorced my wife of 23 years, with no sex, and her need for constant male attention, putting herself in situations that she couldn't apologize her way out of the hurt she caused me. Do I miss parts of our marriage, yes. Do I miss the loneliness that I felt every single day? Nope. She wasn't evil, wasn't overtly trying to destroy our relationship. But managed to do it all the same. Her job slash career came before our kids, myself and our marriage. And now that's all she has in her life, kids are grown and married. And two days after our divorce was final, I moved to the Philippines. I'm not sure about the physco babble in this video, and maybe I'm your average case study, but I have no regrets, never seconded guessed my decision and still don't. I mourned the loss of my marriage, and 23 years of family that I thought would be forever. But not the loneliness of being in a sexless marriage to the women I would of given my life to protect and provide for.
Guys remember this- if it’s been 6 months, you’ve moved on. Don’t stress about it anymore. I’ve never been chased but have had reach outs. It’s your choice then.
Exactly, and most times a woman leaves this way, she starts to emotionally invest in a new man while still with you, aka emotional cheating. It may progress to physical cheating and then you will be discarded and she monkey branches to him. Or she just builds the emotional investment up to a certain point and then discards you and monkey branches. This is how it is in modern era. No offense to coach lees work, but in the past 5 years this behavior has accelerated immensely in the dating and relationships market. Women have too many options being thrown at them on social media, and dating apps. It’s over bros
Starting to wonder if Coach Lee is actually a robot. How does he stay so on track? How does his delivery remain so perfectly concise - not too long, not too short, just perfect? How does he walk that fine line between clarity and condescension? How can he read all these crazy reviews and complaints (although there are more positive than negative!) without giving up on us after all these years? Who looks like that after 23 years of listening to sadness and grief well enough to help and heal people - indeed when do we find people who look like this and are actually this compassionate ever, at any age? He’s never hyper, never speeds up, never drags on and on. only robots and Superman do this. His advice is too spot on to be anything less. But he is human so that makes it even better guys. Don’t give up on yourselves. If you can’t do it for you right now, do it for Coach Lee until you can.
@ wishing you the best! Even if you don’t get ex back - which you will, I’m talking to everyone else (⁎⁍̴̛ᴗ⁍̴̛⁎) - Coach Lee’s advice will help you grow into a better, more compassionate and yet stronger person.
A few years ago, my ex left because she was cheating, drinking and using drugs. I also didn't know she was a narcissist. In my pain, I discovered Coach Lee, I reached out, he understood what I was going through, but he was unfortunately unable to schedule a call with me. I continued to watch his videos, listened and paid attention. Coach Lee helped me realize I was worth more than what I was willing to accept. He helped me understand my worth. Why in hells would I ever settle for being second when I made her first. 10 years wasted? No. 10 years of lessons I needed to learn. I can't thank you enough Lee. Now you are part of the lessons I share with others.
I have the love of my life back with me. Without no contact and Lee’s advice and encouragement it would not have been possible. Stick with it and keep your chin up.
Went no contact with my ex who dumped me. Started focusing on myself again. And after months I recently ran into her at a party. I said hello to her. I was friendly towards her. Said that we’re all good and I have no resentment towards her for what happened. And in response she specifically mentioned that shes single again. And awkwardly made a reference to the first movie we ever watched together. And for the rest of the night she just watched me whenever I was talking to someone else. Then left. It’s strange once the power dynamic changes and you’re just back to enjoying life again without worry.
Coach Lee actually helped me (his vids) get over and move on from my last ex. Now I’m going through the same feelings again. I didn’t want the last one back in the end, and we both moved on, 17yrs and 3 kids, but this time I do want my ex back. It’s been a month, 2 weeks of no contact, broken by her a couple of times, but my reactions are much more controlled and my responses much more thoughtful. I’m learning, as we all are.
It's been painful but I'm proud to finally be in a better place. It was a 6 year relationship and we lived together so the loss was monumental. I really saw him as the love of my life. But it's been 2 years now and if I'm honest I wouldn't want to be vulnerable with him again now. The pain of the aftermath was too much to take. I think growing strong and showing yourself you can accomplish big things on your own in their absence is way more of an achievement than anything I hoped. That has to be the goal as my sense is not many come back so no sense in being heartbroken forever.
My woman of 14 years dumped me 3 months ago. We lived together for 8 years, and have a 7 yo daughter. My world was rocked to its core and in many ways its still rocking.
Most likely she slept with someone else after the breakup and if she comes back it’s because it didnt workout with the other guy so don’t be nobody’s backup plan. Make them regret the loss with a glow up/ self improvement
Hey coach Lee , 6 weeks into no contact . Given me time to ask myself what I want . Going to start a new career and getting my licence back after medical issues . In the gym feeling good each days getting easier . Unfortunately was blocked without being able to pull back but my gut instinct says focus on yourself and see what happens but either way I’m growing and moving forward . She underestimated me and i will prove her wrong every time
17 weeks, 6 days and I feel the same way about it as you. She disappeared one day and Nothing. I want to believe I created NO CONTACT but in reality she did by disappearing.
@@HarryMcMillan-z4e If you didnt message her or chase then you absolutely have done No contact. I got discarded 6 weeks ago & I havent asked for explanations or Begged or Anything.
We were apart for 6+ months, most of them no contact, exchanging literally only 2-3 words at the 4 month mark. I was desperate and in a bad place, but remained basically in no contact. It was awful. At one point, I saw him at an event and was so overwhelmed with feeling, I was cold and indifferent toward him. I went home angry and upset... but then I realized, why would he want to connect with me if I'm angry and upset? So I started thinking about becoming someone loving, calm, secure, happy and each time I thought of him, rather than feel pain and bitterness, I started sending him love and envisioning us together, feeling us together in a happy way (manifesting). So now it's been just over a year since we've been back together and our relationship is much better than the first time because *I am* better. I'm sorry for what you're going through. I hope my story gives you some hope.
They do come back. I had one try to contact me after 22 years for over a year. Sad thing is, I discovered he was still married. We were eachothers first love. I got the impression he has regrets. Your videos helped me understand it, but also to give me the strength to keep moving forward, better myself, and not look back or get entangled in a mess.
I make it a point to be the guy that never does, HUA. Aura spikes activated- energy shields on- memory photographic. Every time she tries, I will repeat verbatim what she said that I hated most. Same mercy I was shown.
I’m 3 years past divorce. My ex- wife was a liar, cheater, and backstabbing gossip. I had to speak with her a few months ago. I try to avoid it. She brought our kids up, one of which I have not spoken to in over a year and a half. She tries to play this game like she’ll be a mediator when she’s part of the problem, always pumping shit into them. I told her I cut the people out of my life who have no respect for me. I know some of the lies she’s told about me. I’m sure she lies to our kids as well. The best part of our divorce is my BP has dropped by ~12/10 points. I’m happier. I don’t have to watch everything I say. Life is good!
Regardless of love pains and misery, time heals all. It really does. I gave my ex everything - my money, my time, even went no contact with my family because they didn't like her. I was at my lowest when she cheated on me and left me after I paid off her car and credit cards. She even lived rent-free with me. This was the most painful but greatest lesson in life for me. Fours years later, I'm doing great. I purchased my 1st house in 2020, and I'm really investing in my retirement funds. Marriage and love isn't necessary in life to be fulfilled and happy. What's important in life is you being happy. Time heals all - it really does heal all.
Mercy- no one has explained this “dance of limerence”quit this way. Really eye opening and mind expanding as I’ve done 75% of the work to accept such truth. Your words feel as close to healing as I’ve ever been. Thank you. 🙏
I learned I do not want my ex back. She's a mad person that had the ability to trash my soul. It was very difficult, but I started exercising. My huge belly is getting smaller, and my tiny shoulders are getting bigger. I learned my body was craving a healthy environment. A few weeks ago, a woman was talking to me at the grocery store about water enhancers that I was looking at. I learned my ex doesn't deserve me anymore. My genuine match is out there somewhere, and it isn't my ex.
My ex broke up with me. I went back into the dating pool 6 months later. I found the love of my life 7 months after the breakup. My ex texts me 9 months after the break up. I told him that I’m with someone now. He wasn’t mature about it. I left it alone after that and moved on. That was two years ago. Coach Lee helped give me the comfort and strength to handle something better than if I didn’t listen to him or anyone else at all. Thank you coach
Coach Lee, I have listened and re-listened to your videos for about a year and a half. He contacted me, but just like you said, the time away made me stronger and also allowed me to recommit to my walk with God. Instead of demanding this person from God, I am now resting in God's faithfulness. I know what I deserve and I trust God to either prune this man or send me someone different. There's a lot of good in being single and loving and investing in yourself. Thanks again. 🌱
Really enjoyed the advice he gives to everyone to try as hard as we can not to break up with someone. I believe in commitment like Coach Lee does, and wish the people I date did too. Perhaps we need to stop giving so much to people we simply find find attractive, and only give to those who are as commitment-minded as we are.
when he dumped me i thought i will die.. but now after 4 yrs of moving on.. i can finally say i dont need him anymore in my life.. he is making moves to coming back.. i always blocked him using different numbers... my life now is sooo great not needing anyone in my life.. i watched u coach lee almost 4 yrs now.. i love u coach lee
Coach Lee is the best at what he does. Hands down, he is #1. The way he gives you the perspective of what's going on in the minds of both parties is invaluable. The thoughts I have in my mind, he turns into words. It's like when I'm thinking of my own situation, that I've been through, he chimes in on cue with the advice and words just when I needed to hear, to make any sense of my situation. It's absolutely brilliant. He is committed to his work 💯 and it shows every time I watch his video.
I was with my ex for 15 years. He went to another woman from his childhood. So currently it's been 5 years now he's been gone. Have not heard from him at all
Don’t let them back, go find someone new as a companion (Don’t let it get serious) connect with friends, make new friends etc… Broke up a 25 year marriage she moved out in April we are divorced as of Nov7, and we have not been together in 10 months. She cries every time I. see her. She moved out and left me with my kids and house. She wants to be “Happy” She is not seeming too happy.
Im still very much into my ex and miss him terribly. I know I can get him back to be with me for companionship benefits but I also know for a fact that I want mutual attraction and mutual respect. It gets tiring to chase someone and it gnaws at your self respect in the process. Moreover, the constant rejection at your bids for connection will make you resentful over time while your ex drifted further. The point is if it’s not mutual don’t force it and complain and demonise the other. You ask and they answered in kind although it’s unfavourable towards you. Learn to accept and let go. Respect everyone’s choices especially to yourself and take accountability. What you don’t change, you choose it.
I left due to bread crumbing! I couldn't take the hot and cold behavior! I took a step and broke up with him! I miss him and care about him, but I had enough of not being respected, fully cared and loved! I had to leave for my own good and self respect!!
Mine was a mistress of setting me off, playing my emotions to get the response that made it firm in her mind to discard me. She was pushed by her single friends to get rid of me. Watch out for her narcissistic friends. Misery likes company.
54 days NC, 54 since the breakup 💪💪icl its getting harder everyday and with each passing moment it feels like I'm losing him more, I'm sure that's in my head though so I'll try distract myself as much as I can
Ex feels loss yes but pride will mostly keep them away. My ex is stalking my social media, watches every story and is stalking my page. She hasn't contacted me since asking to be friends because I've been such a supportive person that they could never replace. But Coach Lee has helped me get through all of this and has me focusing on myself. Sucks not having her but I'd rather not have her and miss her than her be with me just because. One day I hope to find someone who truly wants to work and not leave because a feeling isn't as strong all the time
My ex is so happy to 😂 Trust the work. Fully grieve and come out of that while reinventing yourself. I’m getting happier - excited actually - and NC is effortless. I know my ex. Very smart and prideful. It will be a 10 year journey for her. But just as she confided once about regrets from her first marriage, she’s going to realize the error of this decision 😢 Lucky me, I get the full blast of regret right now. Hurts but no pain no gain. My future now looks amazing 🙏🏽
He’s distracting himself. Once all that Newness and newfound freedom, quiets down, he will have time to reflect on the past and your relationship, and that’s when he will start to feel the loss. I’m not saying that he’ll come back, but he might.
My ex said he lost interest in me! I was thrown off guard. He said I should get with one of his friends that are loving and nurturing like a real man should be. Ha! I put up with so much for almost 3 years and was heavily invested. I still love him dearly but he’ll never change. I’m tired of fighting for us. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise.
This is so well said, I've been in 3 long term relationships, 1st was 11 years with high-school sweetheart and I was a douche and ruined it. 2nd one (5 years)I got cheated on and found out while she was pregnant with our child. 3rd going on 7 years and I see everything so much clearer now.
She was not my GF, but a very close friend. I pushed away for the second time in a week. The first time we became closer than ever after I pushed away over misunderstanding. The second time I pushed away was because I saw myself becoming too attached and didn't tell her why I was pushing away. She went off in a text message telling me our friendship was over and she blocked me. I was stunned that she would break it off over a lack of communication. Something that could have and should have been easily worked out. Been almost two weeks and she still wants nothing to do with me.
I'll never except my ex-wife. It was painful, at first, but after pain passed, it turned out to be a blessing. The peace and quiet, i have in my life, is worth 3 folds, the pain. Despite what she says.... i see misery slowly sinking in, as her wall gets closer. Her partner slowly distancing himself. Its very interesting how its working itself out.
@@mikeg6664 I Immediately thought the same thing. It won’t last. It sounds like she’s just enamored with the idea of being engaged and/or married. Like it’s some sort of status thing with her.
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
I was discarded. He was unfaithful. A year later. You on your own. You have to deal with it. There is nobody around for you. He is on to his next target.
Married 16yrs. She left 7yrs ago. I've been waiting 7yrs for my wife to come back to me. Time for me to... Move on!!! I've started No Contact 7mos ago.
Going on 8 months. I took it on the chin and focused on personal growth. I focused on my animation course and created my website. 2 months ago, she liked my Instagram posts and unliked it. Most recently, I checked my website analytics and guess who has been peeping my website? Yup! She has! 😂😂😂😂
Very cool video A month ago, I ended a five-year relationship. My soulmate made the decision to walk away from me, and even though I've done everything in my power to get him back, I can't help but feel disappointed because I can't see my life with anyone else. I want to say that I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I simply can't. I miss him so much and I don't know why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
No Contact doesn’t always work, especially when they leave you for some else. When people are mentally prepared to leave you, it’s a wrap! NC nor pleading will work to get them back… situations do vary, analyze the situation and you’ll know if it a good idea pursue or have No contact to get them back…
Great video. First of all, never trust any woman that has had another man for any reason. Her lineage should be with one man. What is called limetsnce is also a “soul tie”, so if you ever began interacting with a multiple man woman, set a TSR in your brain that does the following. Stay cool. Let your face show no shock. Do not let them see you emote. Just turn your back and walk away, there are many fish in the sea. Best thing? Do not even date a woman that has had any other man. Unless they died.
Great video! Even if this happens for me I feel that I won’t be any kind of concierge of hers anymore… More of a bookkeeper of mutual contribution fee… Some women cannot accept good treatment with grace and gratefulness…
I'm a registered nurse that got caught up in a narcissistic relationship trap with my girl for over a decade. I was always thinking that I was going to rescue her from herself? Mental illness can't be fixed, she's been gone for months now, and of course, it makes no sense to me? She came home and said that she'd met some random guy online so I put her out and I'd call it a reverse discard on her part? I'm not confused about what's wrong with her or the mutual discard when I threw her out. She's ghosting me, not a surprise there, I still send her money for support, is it wrong? Of course it is! But trauma Bond notwithstanding, I know that she's mentally ill and I can't bring myself after all these years to turn my back on her. Most days I feel like I'm the mentally ill one.
Sadly we have had the most glorious time in our lives together and she just decided that living a good life wasn't for her schizophrenia, she called our life a dumpster fire. Go figure? We live on a small estate on the River with our/her puppies and she walked out on everything, clothes, personal property the puppies, everything!!! Mental illness is a bad MF, I do love her deeply, but where does it get us to Care for the incurablely mentally ill?
He dumped me for my need for constant reassurance which he used to never mind. I don't understand why he didn't fight for us, he once really loved me and saw my value. He said he liked how clingy I was and everyday including tje day he left he kept saying I'm not going anywhere and he loved me...I guess he checked out awhile beforehand but he never told me and things didn't feel off...I lost the love of my life bc I'm anxious
Please don't turn it on yourself as that just keeps you in shame. Similar happened to me as an anxious with an avoidant, it's so hard. Whenever you feel sad you have to tell yourself this was not the love of my life or he'd be with me. Whatever is for us will stay ❤
You have to understand men really really big big time have grown resentful of the idea of having to fight to keep someone. We get tired of the fighting and struggling for everything to be ok. A healthy relationship shouldn't be a constant struggle and fight.
Thanks, Coach. Frankly an ‘ex’ may come back, and they may not. TBH, when or more importantly IF, they do come back, it won’t be because of something you said or did… or didn’t say or do, save going NC. It’s not healthy, practical or wise to burn a candle and hold out hope for an ‘ex’ who walked away, to return. It’s a pipe dream, and a total & complete waste of one’s time, energy and emotion. The truth is, everyone is born as a sovereign, worthy human being, hence they deserve to be treated & respected as such. Period. People will treat you and love you like you treat you and love you, and until you genuinely & unconditionally embrace who and how you are, and fall in love with your authentic self, you won’t attract the sort of person you seek, desire AND deserve. DGMW, I am a big fan of yours ‘ and have watched most all of your videos. However, best advice you give is to go no contact, pick up your marbles, move on, and fall in love with/focus on yourself. Once I shifted, my energy, love, time, effort, and attention from my ex onto myself, and began pouring all of that love, time, energy and attention into me, that’s when the magic begins to happen. Thank you! XOXO
I was hopeful initially. As I stew in why I broke up with him, I realize that it will only decline if we get back together. He's an addict in recovery w/ loose boundaries. I gotta rescue me.
I broke nc after 45 days and my ex was showing all signs of being affected but when I initiated contact it blasted into a huge fight between us and she showed her true colours that day, now after that incident it's 4 days now and I'm completely in a mindset where I don't want her back , it hurts me I'm facing pain but that's good for my better future
Coach Lee, it’s been almost exactly a year, and she hasn’t said anything about divorce. I brought it up and she had said “don’t bring up divorce or anything like that or I’ll lose my mind.” And I brought it up a couple times and said okay, I’ll start the process, you’ll need to get the other half of the cost.” And never have brought it up again. My other friends who are older woman tell me “she will be back, you were amazing to her, your hot your sexy and your a great guy, why wouldn’t she come back? She thinks she can just come back whenever and you will take her back, that’s what she thinks, if I think that, she def thinks that.”
I’m glad they left me. it was easy for them too leave me and that showed me their true colors. We tried working it out and it didn’t and from now it’s been 3 month since we’ve spoken and I will not ever expect to her back from her
Gay couple here. he is bi, im gay, he left to experiment with girls. After coonflict he left to date girls. came back after one month of no contact, then left again. I totally lost myself in this relationship. feeling used, empty, worthless. I cant move on, i cant imagine myself with anybody else. its the worst event of my life yet
That just sounds so shitty. I'm sorry. When he came back, did he seem remorseful? Did he say he made a mistake? And when he left again, what did he say his reasons were?
@@dante6985 thank You for your interest. It was his first experience, that's why I've been so understanding. But nonetheless he is making his own choices. When he came back he told me"no girls I could've possible met, reach to your heels" and so on. But he was still talking to girls behind my back. Stating he didn't know what he wanted. It's been a month and a week of no contact, he still watches my WhatsApp status, but we haven't talked anymore. The last time we met he told me: I love you , I have never stopped loving you. The smiles, the tenderness, I had never lived anything like that before. And a part of me wants to go back to that, but another one, just wants to be alone. Id love to hug you rn but it's not ok for us to invest in something that it's not going to happen" so I understand that he chooses to date a woman in the future.
What does it mean when she sends me a message “hey I hope you’re doing good” like 2 months after nc - I reply saying “I’m doing great hope you are too” she said “that’s good” And then nothing else. What is she thinking? Obviously I’m not gonna be the one continuing conversation
She is testing to see if she has not completely lost you yet. She does not want you back yet but she wants to make sure you are still available in case she made a mistake. I think.
She does not really care how you are doing. Don't get me wrong she does not want you to suffer if she has a good heart but she enjoys knowing that you will desire her all your life.
I think your reply caught her off guard , she probably wasn’t expecting you to say that your good so I’m sure it’s probably made her think “ oh maybe he can be okay without me “
I am the person that broke up with my EX. He found better options. He left in June 1972 to go away to college. College didn’t start until September. Something strange about that. So something tempted him to leave 3 months early for college. We wrote letters to each other. No cell phones back then. Long distance Phone calls were too expensive to use. Then he decides to drop out of college and moved back to his parents home in December 1972. So we started dating again. 3 months later in March 1973, he decided to join the Air Force for 4 years. So I was left behind for the second time. His other options were always more important to him. That’s his right to do those things. He was lucky to have so many options to choose from, but I just wasn’t important enough to be one of those options. So I broke it off.
A lot of this has not been my experience. I've been with two FAs. In neither case was it a loss of attraction or any negative emotion that caused the breakups. Just the opposite. It was just as they both came closest to me and loved me most that their fears were triggered and they ran away. After they had decided to go they did deactivate and suppress their feelings [which later returned] but the breakup itself was caused by growing emotional intimacy and vulnerability. And in neither case did they think they were hot stuff after the breakup. They're both tall, gorgeous girls with great personalities but they also both think they're worthless and defective and even after the breakup never considered themselves good enough for me or worthy of my love. And their rejection hasn't messed with my self-esteem. Why should it? They both loved me and regretted breaking up with me and only did so because of their own wounds and past traumas. Hard to feel bad about myself when two beautiful girls breakup with me because they think I'm too good for them.
I really wish you'd do some videos on when you are the dumper but it's because they've been so low value. When they KNOW you dumped them because they weren't meeting your boundaries. They didn't really want to end things but they accepted it. How to approach no contact in this situation. And what is their thoughts during this time?
You already know that ego is her pride and joy. Make sure you don't contribute to it and be the only guy who has never tried to get her back. Deep down you know the truth, if she did come back you'd be in for more of the same, at YOUR cost. Never forget those prideful grins of hers while she was condescending. She WILL wonder why your the only one that didn't come back. That pride is now yours.
He told me I didn't eat enough. Dinner enough. Etc. too fragile physically etc. all me. I told him he broke my heart and to leave me alone. Never bother me again
Same here and she been in other Relationships and nothing as worked out for her but she still trying , I don't think it will ever hit here till somthink bad happens
Right? Been a year for me and that girl fell off the planet for me. Pretty sure she cheated and when I mentioned something about it she left and hasn't spoke to me since
@@HaloHuntress I have been 8 years and 10 months with her. After brake up, like I never existed. So, like I said, it is over for real. And, to be frankly, I really don't care anymore for anything or anyone.
Hi Coach Lee, Me and my ex broke up on the 23rd of September and I begged and pleaded her and she said she’d think about it. She officially broke up on the 27th of September. I went no contact with her for 20 days and then broke no contact with her as the dumpee asking to get back in contact with her. Got a really positive reply from her and she agrees that we shouldn’t be ignoring eachother. Her replies slowed down from then, taking days to reply and it took us a week to organise a date to meet up on. It’s next Wednesday on the 6th. We’re gonna meet in college and talk about what happened cos she blindsided me and gave no explanation. But she’s also acting positive to me whilst reposting negative videos about me like I was some awful boyfriend which I wasn’t. I made a few mistakes but they were nothing major and she never communicated those things with me. I don’t know why she’s reposting these horrible things about me and it’s taking a toll on my mental health. I’ve cried every day since breaking no contact. What should I do on our meet up? Should I adress where I went wrong and why I believe we broke up? Or should I just be happy and enjoy the time with her and only talk about deep things when she asks? I miss that girl like hell and I’d do anything to get her back but I’m just so scared she’s gonna be gone forever. Because one of my boundaries are that I’ll never speak to her again if she even kisses another guy because I know my worth. After we arranged the date I closed the conversation by saying looking forward to seeing you and now we’ve been back in no contact for 7 days. I’m scared and I’m really worried and lost. Please help me
All I read is you broke no contact. I was broken up with on the 15th of September. I flew back home and haven’t contacted them since. They haven’t contacted me either. Don’t hurt yourself. Stay in no contact.
How long is This going to take to feel this loss lol . We’re creeping up on 4 months since we split after almost 6 years together . She reached out two month ago with the I miss you crap and said we should get together when we’ve healed more . Haven’t heard a word from her since . This breakup has changed my entire view on what’s good with a relationship because I thought we were perfect together and there was zero stress. I was certain she was the one and I was content with that and I thought she was to from everything she’s told me. I’ve been in plenty of relationship and I was so certain about this one and was wrong so how am I ever supposed to trust my instincts again with a woman.
@@truesincerity757 no apparently I wasn’t supportive enough and I have a daughter from a high school relationship that she’s jealous about. We’ve met up a few times and had dinner and still talk occasional but I’ve accepted maybe we weren’t meant to be together . It is what it is . It’s helped me do some thing I prob wouldn’t have had we still be together
@@Wizard-Girl9 I get where she’s coming from to an extent with her being jealous I’ve already experienced this with another woman and maybe she wants a man who hasn’t but I told her about my daughter on our very first date . Now she has brought it up multiple times about how much it makes her jealous but I always thought she’d accept it and get over it . I always tried to tell her if we had kids it would be just as special but idk . She definitely goes through some things mentally and I can look back and say maybe I didn’t support her fully but I was always so confused with her career paths/plan.
26 years divorced to a cheating woman. Im still angry. At myself for trusting her and being so stupid I didn’t see it coming. She NEVER reached out after and married the man she cheated on me with. So, why would I EVER want her back? And yes, it still hurts and I still love her and would forgive her, but SHE is the only one that can change this, not me. It is the biggest thing that still haunts me. I have no power or control over what has happened.
Doubt my ex feels my loss. She broke up with me 8 months ago via text and I haven't heard anything from her since. I did not plead or chase after the breakup. I loved her and put her needs first. If there's a silver lining to my story is that I carried myself with dignity and self respect when my ex couldn't even give me that courtesey. Thank you Coach Lee for your words of wisdom and encouragement.
Similar situation, years together and he left without reason in an instant never to be heard from or seen again. Been 6 months. I didn't beg and gave him the breakup from the start respectfully.
they will be back, took my ex 2 years to call me but im 10 times better than i was before
Good for you man as long as you did right by yourself and her you can carry yourself well knowing you did what was right even if the outcome was one you didn’t want. I’m trying my best to do that too.
@@itsunity23 well i was just friendly and she kept asking about my dating life and stuff :)
Similar thing happened with me. September 2023 my ex gf broke up with me by leaving a note on the kitchen table after a 7 and a half year relationship. Haven't literally talked since that time. She emailed in May. Next day she blocked me on social media and I haven't heard from her since. I didn't chase or plead either. She confessed her love to me everyday, wanted to get married, the whole nine. When she left that note I was totally in shock.
My advice to anyone who got dumped; move on, you don't want someone who left you! Leave you once, leave you twice!
@@ajfedz 100%.
@@ajfedz This channel is for people who want their exs back or want to feel better but if you can move on then it’s your win so stop discouraging others who want something else
@Suarez-d7f my ex left me on February 24, 2022. I wanted her back and watched every video coach lee made. I wanted her back big time. She never came back. Looking back on things, it's a process we all have to go through. Let your ex go. Move on! That's coming from someone who desperately felt the same as you.
@@ajfedz 100%.
Found out the hard way but 100 percent true@@amelie-db7gu
They don’t always come back. Mine didn’t but it’s ok. The goal is to heal grow and sustain individually. Be patient with yourself. Love
Women almost never come back.
@@marguskiis7711 see thats another redpill bullshit right there. youtube "does no contact work on women" by coach lee, he made a video about that
I’m sorry. How long have you been no contact?
If they truly loved you, she will
@@AD-hh6dd4 months and counting. And yes. She moved on
Guys.. please go NC. It works! I went NC for 6 months not looking at her IG stories, reaching out, etc. She came back and even told me it bothered her that I removed my attention. Focus on yourself and they will be back. Also, she is an avoidant so in the first 1-2 months after the break up, she felt free and relieved. However after month 3+ she felt the loss. You MUST remove yourself from her life. It builds respect and shows you can stay away and create boundaries. Wishing all the best to everyone watching these videos. Thank you Coach Lee!!!
👏👏👏
Never seen NC working on confident strong women.
@@marguskiis7711NC doesn’t work on us. We move on to better.
My ex and I broke up back in July, did NC for 3 months (funny enough, both of us deactivated social media without ever telling each other and we didn’t even know because neither was looking at each others stories and such). My ex is also a fearful avoidant.
We ran into each other at a local park completely unplanned and since she dumped me, I made it her job to get me back. I acted like I didn’t know who she was and she approached me, asked if we could try things again, etc.
Dated for a month before she ended up pulling the exact same discard she did the first time, word for word, almost like this is scripted inside her mind.
I ended up just blocking her and moving on. Theres billions of women on this planet and while she’s the coolest one I’ve met yet, I’ve also said that about all my other exes so I’m sure I’ll find a better one than her eventually.
Hopefully you didn't take her back....because if you took her back after all of that, then youre weak and you just Lost. Thats an L. She now knows she can bail out whenever she wants and still get u back.
If she left, it is because there is someone else she's excited about. If she comes back, don't take her back! it simply means it didn't work with the other dude, and you're her 2nd option. Never be someone's 2nd option.
Not always.
The thrill of the chase game called them back to the streets.
Truth. Wasted time treating her like a priority.
That's the way it happened with me. She left me, had already started the other relationship behind my back. But after a year of suffering over it, I was finally ready to move on. Somehow, she sensed this because 13 months after leaving me, she showed up at my apartment, just to "see how I was doing". We wound up having sex that night, but after she left, I had no idea whether she'd ever come back again, but by then I was so over her that I truly didn't care whether I saw her again or not. She did come back from time to time (with the same result), but I never showed any interest in us getting back together again. It went on like that for a few months, until I met somebody else. When I told her about my new girlfriend, she was stunned and finally told me she really wanted us to get back together again. Gotta admit, it did feel satisfying to be the one to send her away after what she had done to me.
@@marlonbarrios1821 Same thing happened to me. Lesson learned.
My ex came back only cuz he rebounded & failed. Meanwhile, I found a better person & who’s crying now? Karma!
“It’s kinda like air, we don’t need it until we do, we don’t notice it until it’s not there.” This hits👏🏽
Never take them back. Ever. Its over. Period
Facts 💯
If both partners miss each other and most importantly have worked on themselves then I think it’s possible to get back with someone.
If you’re just the same two people who split and want to get back together because it was comfortable then I agree with you
In for years my ex has dumped me about 70 times, I'm dumped at the moment 😢
@@Mick-r3c fool me once shame on you fool me 70 times shame on.. at that point you're better off just slipping into ChatGPT's DMs brother
@@Mick-r3c your mistake was to allow her to do it a 2nd time. NO second chances, once they've moved on make that forever she's not into you and isn't a woman of Noble character only date a genuine born-again woman of virtue. They are hard to find.
And if I am being honest with myself, I am glad she is gone. A blessing in disguise.
It usually IS blessing to lose a rotten partner. It’s the suffering of attachment
@@urienswolfeson3065 🚩Absolutely a blessing in disguise!!
I found the first 3-6 months really difficult after being dumped but once you get through this period I found it easier to move forward with my life and not focusing on getting back with them. Obviously this is my personal experience and this is different for everybody, but I believe time is the key and my advice is to take each day as it comes take small steps and think of the experience as a positive rather than a negative because exes don’t always come back and that is not necessarily a bad thing. Good luck to everyone going through a break up time really does do wonders keep pushing through ❤
Sometimes someone leaving is a blessing in disguise. I like to think of it as the universe or God protecting us from someone and situation that was going to be harmful to us in some way even if we couldn't see it.
Women almost never come back. They are senseless, immoral and have tons of options.
My ex broke up with me after 12 years. Its only been a few weeks and a few days ago i wrote down all the stuff i did for her vs how she was treating me. I was blown away by how much I was a door mat for her. She walked all over me. Ive been sleeping so much better since that day. I was so good to her & got nothing back in return.
@@JTravelChannel 🚩Yes it’s true - 3-6 month period is generally the final countdown.
I divorced my wife of 23 years, with no sex, and her need for constant male attention, putting herself in situations that she couldn't apologize her way out of the hurt she caused me. Do I miss parts of our marriage, yes. Do I miss the loneliness that I felt every single day? Nope. She wasn't evil, wasn't overtly trying to destroy our relationship. But managed to do it all the same. Her job slash career came before our kids, myself and our marriage. And now that's all she has in her life, kids are grown and married. And two days after our divorce was final, I moved to the Philippines. I'm not sure about the physco babble in this video, and maybe I'm your average case study, but I have no regrets, never seconded guessed my decision and still don't. I mourned the loss of my marriage, and 23 years of family that I thought would be forever. But not the loneliness of being in a sexless marriage to the women I would of given my life to protect and provide for.
Guys remember this- if it’s been 6 months, you’ve moved on. Don’t stress about it anymore. I’ve never been chased but have had reach outs. It’s your choice then.
*ONCE SHE INVESTS EMOTIONALLY IN ANOTHER MAN, (SHES GONE!)*
Exactly, and most times a woman leaves this way, she starts to emotionally invest in a new man while still with you, aka emotional cheating. It may progress to physical cheating and then you will be discarded and she monkey branches to him. Or she just builds the emotional investment up to a certain point and then discards you and monkey branches. This is how it is in modern era. No offense to coach lees work, but in the past 5 years this behavior has accelerated immensely in the dating and relationships market. Women have too many options being thrown at them on social media, and dating apps. It’s over bros
AGREED!! 🐦🔥🌲
Starting to wonder if Coach Lee is actually a robot. How does he stay so on track? How does his delivery remain so perfectly concise - not too long, not too short, just perfect? How does he walk that fine line between clarity and condescension? How can he read all these crazy reviews and complaints (although there are more positive than negative!) without giving up on us after all these years? Who looks like that after 23 years of listening to sadness and grief well enough to help and heal people - indeed when do we find people who look like this and are actually this compassionate ever, at any age? He’s never hyper, never speeds up, never drags on and on. only robots and Superman do this. His advice is too spot on to be anything less. But he is human so that makes it even better guys.
Don’t give up on yourselves. If you can’t do it for you right now, do it for Coach Lee until you can.
Coach Lee is the best! I will thank him profusely when I get my ex back! I promise! 🤞🏽❤ He truly cares. I’m indebted to his work. 🫡
@ wishing you the best! Even if you don’t get ex back - which you will, I’m talking to everyone else (⁎⁍̴̛ᴗ⁍̴̛⁎) - Coach Lee’s advice will help you grow into a better, more compassionate and yet stronger person.
He is the best!!! A goat
NOT a Robot -
an ANGEL 👼!!
Still watching your videos 2 & 1/2 years later even though, I'm over it.
A few years ago, my ex left because she was cheating, drinking and using drugs. I also didn't know she was a narcissist.
In my pain, I discovered Coach Lee, I reached out, he understood what I was going through, but he was unfortunately unable to schedule a call with me.
I continued to watch his videos, listened and paid attention.
Coach Lee helped me realize I was worth more than what I was willing to accept. He helped me understand my worth. Why in hells would I ever settle for being second when I made her first.
10 years wasted? No. 10 years of lessons I needed to learn.
I can't thank you enough Lee. Now you are part of the lessons I share with others.
I have the love of my life back with me. Without no contact and Lee’s advice and encouragement it would not have been possible. Stick with it and keep your chin up.
@@thoughtfox12 💗👼Good for you Michael!!
Went no contact with my ex who dumped me. Started focusing on myself again. And after months I recently ran into her at a party.
I said hello to her. I was friendly towards her. Said that we’re all good and I have no resentment towards her for what happened.
And in response she specifically mentioned that shes single again. And awkwardly made a reference to the first movie we ever watched together.
And for the rest of the night she just watched me whenever I was talking to someone else. Then left.
It’s strange once the power dynamic changes and you’re just back to enjoying life again without worry.
Coach Lee actually helped me (his vids) get over and move on from my last ex. Now I’m going through the same feelings again. I didn’t want the last one back in the end, and we both moved on, 17yrs and 3 kids, but this time I do want my ex back. It’s been a month, 2 weeks of no contact, broken by her a couple of times, but my reactions are much more controlled and my responses much more thoughtful. I’m learning, as we all are.
It's been painful but I'm proud to finally be in a better place. It was a 6 year relationship and we lived together so the loss was monumental. I really saw him as the love of my life. But it's been 2 years now and if I'm honest I wouldn't want to be vulnerable with him again now. The pain of the aftermath was too much to take. I think growing strong and showing yourself you can accomplish big things on your own in their absence is way more of an achievement than anything I hoped. That has to be the goal as my sense is not many come back so no sense in being heartbroken forever.
My woman of 14 years dumped me 3 months ago. We lived together for 8 years, and have a 7 yo daughter. My world was rocked to its core and in many ways its still rocking.
Coach lee is very smart about these things,i been watching other channels & he is by far the best,its like he's talking to me directly
Most likely she slept with someone else after the breakup and if she comes back it’s because it didnt workout with the other guy so don’t be nobody’s backup plan. Make them regret the loss with a glow up/ self improvement
Hey coach Lee , 6 weeks into no contact . Given me time to ask myself what I want . Going to start a new career and getting my licence back after medical issues . In the gym feeling good each days getting easier . Unfortunately was blocked without being able to pull back but my gut instinct says focus on yourself and see what happens but either way I’m growing and moving forward . She underestimated me and i will prove her wrong every time
4 months absolutely no contact and it sux as much today as it did 4 months ago. I've tried my best to forget his existence. Its exhausting.
17 weeks, 6 days and I feel the same way about it as you. She disappeared one day and Nothing. I want to believe I created NO CONTACT but in reality she did by disappearing.
@@HarryMcMillan-z4e If you didnt message her or chase then you absolutely have done No contact. I got discarded 6 weeks ago & I havent asked for explanations or Begged or Anything.
We were apart for 6+ months, most of them no contact, exchanging literally only 2-3 words at the 4 month mark. I was desperate and in a bad place, but remained basically in no contact. It was awful. At one point, I saw him at an event and was so overwhelmed with feeling, I was cold and indifferent toward him. I went home angry and upset... but then I realized, why would he want to connect with me if I'm angry and upset? So I started thinking about becoming someone loving, calm, secure, happy and each time I thought of him, rather than feel pain and bitterness, I started sending him love and envisioning us together, feeling us together in a happy way (manifesting). So now it's been just over a year since we've been back together and our relationship is much better than the first time because *I am* better. I'm sorry for what you're going through. I hope my story gives you some hope.
@@MIMIDSH Thats so amazing! Lucky you xxx
NC is the most painful method to get over. If you want to get over easily, better stay in contact.
They do come back. I had one try to contact me after 22 years for over a year. Sad thing is, I discovered he was still married. We were eachothers first love. I got the impression he has regrets. Your videos helped me understand it, but also to give me the strength to keep moving forward, better myself, and not look back or get entangled in a mess.
Men almost always come back. Women almost never.
I make it a point to be the guy that never does, HUA. Aura spikes activated- energy shields on- memory photographic. Every time she tries, I will repeat verbatim what she said that I hated most. Same mercy I was shown.
I’m 3 years past divorce. My ex- wife was a liar, cheater, and backstabbing gossip.
I had to speak with her a few months ago. I try to avoid it. She brought our kids up, one of which I have not spoken to in over a year and a half. She tries to play this game like she’ll be a mediator when she’s part of the problem, always pumping shit into them.
I told her I cut the people out of my life who have no respect for me. I know some of the lies she’s told about me. I’m sure she lies to our kids as well.
The best part of our divorce is my BP has dropped by ~12/10 points. I’m happier. I don’t have to watch everything I say.
Life is good!
You sound like me. I cut out everyone who is not on my team
Regardless of love pains and misery, time heals all. It really does.
I gave my ex everything - my money, my time, even went no contact with my family because they didn't like her.
I was at my lowest when she cheated on me and left me after I paid off her car and credit cards. She even lived rent-free with me. This was the most painful but greatest lesson in life for me.
Fours years later, I'm doing great. I purchased my 1st house in 2020, and I'm really investing in my retirement funds. Marriage and love isn't necessary in life to be fulfilled and happy.
What's important in life is you being happy. Time heals all - it really does heal all.
Mercy- no one has explained this “dance of limerence”quit this way. Really eye opening and mind expanding as I’ve done 75% of the work to accept such truth. Your words feel as close to healing as I’ve ever been. Thank you. 🙏
I learned I do not want my ex back. She's a mad person that had the ability to trash my soul. It was very difficult, but I started exercising. My huge belly is getting smaller, and my tiny shoulders are getting bigger. I learned my body was craving a healthy environment. A few weeks ago, a woman was talking to me at the grocery store about water enhancers that I was looking at. I learned my ex doesn't deserve me anymore. My genuine match is out there somewhere, and it isn't my ex.
My ex broke up with me. I went back into the dating pool 6 months later. I found the love of my life 7 months after the breakup. My ex texts me 9 months after the break up. I told him that I’m with someone now. He wasn’t mature about it. I left it alone after that and moved on. That was two years ago. Coach Lee helped give me the comfort and strength to handle something better than if I didn’t listen to him or anyone else at all. Thank you coach
Coach Lee, I have listened and re-listened to your videos for about a year and a half. He contacted me, but just like you said, the time away made me stronger and also allowed me to recommit to my walk with God. Instead of demanding this person from God, I am now resting in God's faithfulness. I know what I deserve and I trust God to either prune this man or send me someone different. There's a lot of good in being single and loving and investing in yourself. Thanks again. 🌱
Really enjoyed the advice he gives to everyone to try as hard as we can not to break up with someone. I believe in commitment like Coach Lee does, and wish the people I date did too. Perhaps we need to stop giving so much to people we simply find find attractive, and only give to those who are as commitment-minded as we are.
Women are never commited to a man.
when he dumped me i thought i will die.. but now after 4 yrs of moving on.. i can finally say i dont need him anymore in my life.. he is making moves to coming back.. i always blocked him using different numbers... my life now is sooo great not needing anyone in my life.. i watched u coach lee almost 4 yrs now.. i love u coach lee
4 years, that's crazy!
Coach Lee is the best at what he does. Hands down, he is #1.
The way he gives you the perspective of what's going on in the minds of both parties is invaluable. The thoughts I have in my mind, he turns into words. It's like when I'm thinking of my own situation, that I've been through, he chimes in on cue with the advice and words just when I needed to hear, to make any sense of my situation.
It's absolutely brilliant. He is committed to his work 💯 and it shows every time I watch his video.
Absolutely, you take control, don't let someone have control of your heart ♥️
Don't let someone tell you twice if they don't want you. They will end up alone
I was with my ex for 15 years. He went to another woman from his childhood. So currently it's been 5 years now he's been gone. Have not heard from him at all
Don’t let them back, go find someone new as a companion (Don’t let it get serious) connect with friends, make new friends etc… Broke up a 25 year marriage she moved out in April we are divorced as of Nov7, and we have not been together in 10 months. She cries every time I. see her. She moved out and left me with my kids and house. She wants to be “Happy” She is not seeming too happy.
My favorite video say far and I've watched hundreds of coach lees videos
I’m so honored by your words. Thank you.
Im still very much into my ex and miss him terribly. I know I can get him back to be with me for companionship benefits but I also know for a fact that I want mutual attraction and mutual respect. It gets tiring to chase someone and it gnaws at your self respect in the process. Moreover, the constant rejection at your bids for connection will make you resentful over time while your ex drifted further.
The point is if it’s not mutual don’t force it and complain and demonise the other. You ask and they answered in kind although it’s unfavourable towards you. Learn to accept and let go. Respect everyone’s choices especially to yourself and take accountability. What you don’t change, you choose it.
I have learned to let go , as yoga says . Learn to lose everything important to you
I left due to bread crumbing! I couldn't take the hot and cold behavior! I took a step and broke up with him! I miss him and care about him, but I had enough of not being respected, fully cared and loved! I had to leave for my own good and self respect!!
Mine was a mistress of setting me off, playing my emotions to get the response that made it firm in her mind to discard me. She was pushed by her single friends to get rid of me. Watch out for her narcissistic friends. Misery likes company.
She was your mistress but it’s her fault and that of her friends?
@ mistress is the feminine of Master. She was my wife.
Hi and you got good info.
After my 29 year marriage then a divorce, Go and live as a good ReSingled Man . Never go back.
57 days of NC today. 60 days since the breakup today. I’ve kind of lost interest at this point.
Day 50 over here!
180 days here.
@@brandonrobertkersjes imagine starting the no contact from day one😂 keep going.
54 days NC, 54 since the breakup 💪💪icl its getting harder everyday and with each passing moment it feels like I'm losing him more, I'm sure that's in my head though so I'll try distract myself as much as I can
@@kichibear9956 You are making real process actually just know as it’s hard on u it’s also hard on them too.
Ex feels loss yes but pride will mostly keep them away. My ex is stalking my social media, watches every story and is stalking my page. She hasn't contacted me since asking to be friends because I've been such a supportive person that they could never replace. But Coach Lee has helped me get through all of this and has me focusing on myself. Sucks not having her but I'd rather not have her and miss her than her be with me just because. One day I hope to find someone who truly wants to work and not leave because a feeling isn't as strong all the time
going through something similar. stay strong
How do you know if they are stalking your page?
Your ex sounds like a narcissit
Yesh he stalks mine..but never ssys anything..its such bizarre behavior
@@mistydawn5061 Narccistic!
Mine left me three months ago. He doesnt feel any loss, he's happier than ever, has lots of new friends, Is taking salsa lessons twice a week.
he's compensating
My ex is so happy to 😂
Trust the work. Fully grieve and come out of that while reinventing yourself. I’m getting happier - excited actually - and NC is effortless.
I know my ex. Very smart and prideful. It will be a 10 year journey for her. But just as she confided once about regrets from her first marriage, she’s going to realize the error of this decision 😢
Lucky me, I get the full blast of regret right now. Hurts but no pain no gain. My future now looks amazing 🙏🏽
He’s distracting himself. Once all that Newness and newfound freedom, quiets down, he will have time to reflect on the past and your relationship, and that’s when he will start to feel the loss. I’m not saying that he’ll come back, but he might.
You saw me through a rock time and am grateful Couch. 2yrs and going strong. Anger is gone and am in a better place
Excellent! No party is to blame. It's just how we game.
My ex said he lost interest in me! I was thrown off guard. He said I should get with one of his friends that are loving and nurturing like a real man should be. Ha! I put up with so much for almost 3 years and was heavily invested. I still love him dearly but he’ll never change. I’m tired of fighting for us. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise.
This is so well said, I've been in 3 long term relationships, 1st was 11 years with high-school sweetheart and I was a douche and ruined it.
2nd one (5 years)I got cheated on and found out while she was pregnant with our child.
3rd going on 7 years and I see everything so much clearer now.
Focus on your dignity. F them.
She was not my GF, but a very close friend. I pushed away for the second time in a week. The first time we became closer than ever after I pushed away over misunderstanding. The second time I pushed away was because I saw myself becoming too attached and didn't tell her why I was pushing away. She went off in a text message telling me our friendship was over and she blocked me. I was stunned that she would break it off over a lack of communication. Something that could have and should have been easily worked out. Been almost two weeks and she still wants nothing to do with me.
I'll never except my ex-wife. It was painful, at first, but after pain passed, it turned out to be a blessing. The peace and quiet, i have in my life, is worth 3 folds, the pain. Despite what she says.... i see misery slowly sinking in, as her wall gets closer. Her partner slowly distancing himself. Its very interesting how its working itself out.
120 days of no contact, and she ended up engaged to the guy she initially chose me over. Stay strong, everyone 🙏
Only 120 days and she’s engaged? I smell a divorce in her future 🤷♂️
@ maybe lol
Classic monkey branching I can’t believe you missed the signs bruh. I catch mine red handed and broke up with her
@@mikeg6664 I Immediately thought the same thing. It won’t last. It sounds like she’s just enamored with the idea of being engaged and/or married. Like it’s some sort of status thing with her.
I don’t see it lasting with that guy. I think she’s just enamored with the idea of being engaged and married.
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Akunna, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is Father Akunna, he has great powers, he can help you.
I appreciate you providing this important information; I've just checked Father Akunna online, and wow, he's really genuine. Thank you so much again ❤
Okay, Coach Lee with the hair. I see you bruh
😂😂
It's been almost thirty years since my ex walked out, it never really stops hurting, especially when nostalgia hits.
I was discarded. He was unfaithful. A year later. You on your own. You have to deal with it. There is nobody around for you. He is on to his next target.
Married 16yrs. She left 7yrs ago. I've been waiting 7yrs for my wife to come back to me.
Time for me to... Move on!!!
I've started No Contact 7mos ago.
Going on 8 months. I took it on the chin and focused on personal growth. I focused on my animation course and created my website. 2 months ago, she liked my Instagram posts and unliked it. Most recently, I checked my website analytics and guess who has been peeping my website? Yup! She has! 😂😂😂😂
Tell yourself no one has control over your feelings you take control
Very cool video A month ago, I ended a five-year relationship. My soulmate made the decision to walk away from me, and even though I've done everything in my power to get him back, I can't help but feel disappointed because I can't see my life with anyone else. I want to say that I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I simply can't. I miss him so much and I don't know why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
No Contact doesn’t always work, especially when they leave you for some else. When people are mentally prepared to leave you, it’s a wrap! NC nor pleading will work to get them back… situations do vary, analyze the situation and you’ll know if it a good idea pursue or have No contact to get them back…
I like your hair!
Was looking for this comment 😁
I blocked her because she burned down her bridge. I live my life as if she were never a part of it.
I broke up with mine. She was very chaotic. She made me feel like i didn't matter. The nicer i was, the more she took me for granted.
In my country we call that "a cow."
Loving this channel. So much mind game but I guess it is what it takes.
Great video. First of all, never trust any woman that has had another man for any reason. Her lineage should be with one man. What is called limetsnce is also a “soul tie”, so if you ever began interacting with a multiple man woman, set a TSR in your brain that does the following. Stay cool. Let your face show no shock. Do not let them see you emote. Just turn your back and walk away, there are many fish in the sea. Best thing? Do not even date a woman that has had any other man. Unless they died.
Love your current haircut, Coach Lee. 😊 Haircut is always directly proportional to attitude.
Great video! Even if this happens for me I feel that I won’t be any kind of concierge of hers anymore… More of a bookkeeper of mutual contribution fee… Some women cannot accept good treatment with grace and gratefulness…
I'm a registered nurse that got caught up in a narcissistic relationship trap with my girl for over a decade. I was always thinking that I was going to rescue her from herself? Mental illness can't be fixed, she's been gone for months now, and of course, it makes no sense to me? She came home and said that she'd met some random guy online so I put her out and I'd call it a reverse discard on her part?
I'm not confused about what's wrong with her or the mutual discard when I threw her out. She's ghosting me, not a surprise there, I still send her money for support, is it wrong? Of course it is! But trauma Bond notwithstanding, I know that she's mentally ill and I can't bring myself after all these years to turn my back on her. Most days I feel like I'm the mentally ill one.
Sadly we have had the most glorious time in our lives together and she just decided that living a good life wasn't for her schizophrenia, she called our life a dumpster fire. Go figure? We live on a small estate on the River with our/her puppies and she walked out on everything, clothes, personal property the puppies, everything!!! Mental illness is a bad MF, I do love her deeply, but where does it get us to Care for the incurablely mentally ill?
He dumped me for my need for constant reassurance which he used to never mind. I don't understand why he didn't fight for us, he once really loved me and saw my value. He said he liked how clingy I was and everyday including tje day he left he kept saying I'm not going anywhere and he loved me...I guess he checked out awhile beforehand but he never told me and things didn't feel off...I lost the love of my life bc I'm anxious
Please don't turn it on yourself as that just keeps you in shame. Similar happened to me as an anxious with an avoidant, it's so hard. Whenever you feel sad you have to tell yourself this was not the love of my life or he'd be with me. Whatever is for us will stay ❤
You have to understand men really really big big time have grown resentful of the idea of having to fight to keep someone. We get tired of the fighting and struggling for everything to be ok. A healthy relationship shouldn't be a constant struggle and fight.
It doesn’t matter! Move on! They don’t care! You can never go back! The second time is always easier to leave!
Thanks, Coach. Frankly an ‘ex’ may come back, and they may not. TBH, when or more importantly IF, they do come back, it won’t be because of something you said or did… or didn’t say or do, save going NC. It’s not healthy, practical or wise to burn a candle and hold out hope for an ‘ex’ who walked away, to return. It’s a pipe dream, and a total & complete waste of one’s time, energy and emotion. The truth is, everyone is born as a sovereign, worthy human being, hence they deserve to be treated & respected as such. Period. People will treat you and love you like you treat you and love you, and until you genuinely & unconditionally embrace who and how you are, and fall in love with your authentic self, you won’t attract the sort of person you seek, desire AND deserve. DGMW, I am a big fan of yours ‘ and have watched most all of your videos. However, best advice you give is to go no contact, pick up your marbles, move on, and fall in love with/focus on yourself. Once I shifted, my energy, love, time, effort, and attention from my ex onto myself, and began pouring all of that love, time, energy and attention into me, that’s when the magic begins to happen. Thank you! XOXO
I was hopeful initially. As I stew in why I broke up with him, I realize that it will only decline if we get back together. He's an addict in recovery w/ loose boundaries. I gotta rescue me.
I broke nc after 45 days and my ex was showing all signs of being affected but when I initiated contact it blasted into a huge fight between us and she showed her true colours that day, now after that incident it's 4 days now and I'm completely in a mindset where I don't want her back , it hurts me I'm facing pain but that's good for my better future
If you want get over, better stay in contact.
Yeah I’m cooked it’s been too long and it wouldn’t feel the same
You’ll be surprised I went through it with my ex 6 years ago. Seperated for 8 months. Got back together she left again in August
@@Motiv8Growyeah but 8 months it's still in the beginning stage for most is been over 6 to 8 years
Coach Lee, it’s been almost exactly a year, and she hasn’t said anything about divorce. I brought it up and she had said “don’t bring up divorce or anything like that or I’ll lose my mind.” And I brought it up a couple times and said okay, I’ll start the process, you’ll need to get the other half of the cost.” And never have brought it up again. My other friends who are older woman tell me “she will be back, you were amazing to her, your hot your sexy and your a great guy, why wouldn’t she come back? She thinks she can just come back whenever and you will take her back, that’s what she thinks, if I think that, she def thinks that.”
Best video so far for me...all the videos of coach Lee are sooo accurate and informative 👏 👌 well done for your perfect job coach!!!
I’m glad they left me. it was easy for them too leave me and that showed me their true colors. We tried working it out and it didn’t and from now it’s been 3 month since we’ve spoken and I will not ever expect to her back from her
Thank you Coach Lee another brilliant advice from a great coach.
Excellent video Coach Lee.
Thank you…
Gay couple here. he is bi, im gay, he left to experiment with girls. After coonflict he left to date girls. came back after one month of no contact, then left again. I totally lost myself in this relationship. feeling used, empty, worthless. I cant move on, i cant imagine myself with anybody else. its the worst event of my life yet
That just sounds so shitty. I'm sorry. When he came back, did he seem remorseful? Did he say he made a mistake?
And when he left again, what did he say his reasons were?
@@dante6985 thank You for your interest. It was his first experience, that's why I've been so understanding. But nonetheless he is making his own choices. When he came back he told me"no girls I could've possible met, reach to your heels" and so on. But he was still talking to girls behind my back. Stating he didn't know what he wanted. It's been a month and a week of no contact, he still watches my WhatsApp status, but we haven't talked anymore. The last time we met he told me: I love you , I have never stopped loving you. The smiles, the tenderness, I had never lived anything like that before. And a part of me wants to go back to that, but another one, just wants to be alone. Id love to hug you rn but it's not ok for us to invest in something that it's not going to happen" so I understand that he chooses to date a woman in the future.
Stay strong
What does it mean when she sends me a message “hey I hope you’re doing good” like 2 months after nc - I reply saying “I’m doing great hope you are too” she said “that’s good” And then nothing else. What is she thinking? Obviously I’m not gonna be the one continuing conversation
She is testing to see if she has not completely lost you yet. She does not want you back yet but she wants to make sure you are still available in case she made a mistake.
I think.
She does not really care how you are doing. Don't get me wrong she does not want you to suffer if she has a good heart but she enjoys knowing that you will desire her all your life.
dude... try once if u love her... in avoidant style,.. keeping one foot on the door... but do try
its hard for her too break ice
I think your reply caught her off guard , she probably wasn’t expecting you to say that your good so I’m sure it’s probably made her think “ oh maybe he can be okay without me “
Sounds like it's working. Keep going
There is no loss. If she wants to leave let her go. It's her loss. Have an abundance mindset
I am the person that broke up with my EX.
He found better options. He left in June 1972 to go away to college. College didn’t start until September.
Something strange about that. So something tempted him to leave 3 months early for college.
We wrote letters to each other. No cell phones back then. Long distance Phone calls were too expensive to use.
Then he decides to drop out of college and moved back to his parents home in December 1972.
So we started dating again.
3 months later in March 1973, he decided to join the Air Force for 4 years.
So I was left behind for the second time.
His other options were always more important to him. That’s his right to do those things. He was lucky to have so many options to choose from, but I just wasn’t important enough to be one of those options. So I broke it off.
You are truly brilliant & also very wise...
A lot of this has not been my experience.
I've been with two FAs. In neither case was it a loss of attraction or any negative emotion that caused the breakups. Just the opposite. It was just as they both came closest to me and loved me most that their fears were triggered and they ran away. After they had decided to go they did deactivate and suppress their feelings [which later returned] but the breakup itself was caused by growing emotional intimacy and vulnerability.
And in neither case did they think they were hot stuff after the breakup. They're both tall, gorgeous girls with great personalities but they also both think they're worthless and defective and even after the breakup never considered themselves good enough for me or worthy of my love.
And their rejection hasn't messed with my self-esteem. Why should it? They both loved me and regretted breaking up with me and only did so because of their own wounds and past traumas. Hard to feel bad about myself when two beautiful girls breakup with me because they think I'm too good for them.
I really wish you'd do some videos on when you are the dumper but it's because they've been so low value. When they KNOW you dumped them because they weren't meeting your boundaries. They didn't really want to end things but they accepted it. How to approach no contact in this situation. And what is their thoughts during this time?
Day 34 I’ve accepted that she’s not coming back and that she doesn’t care. She is a very stubborn DA and I just know that she will not come back
You already know that ego is her pride and joy. Make sure you don't contribute to it and be the only guy who has never tried to get her back. Deep down you know the truth, if she did come back you'd be in for more of the same, at YOUR cost. Never forget those prideful grins of hers while she was condescending. She WILL wonder why your the only one that didn't come back. That pride is now yours.
He told me I didn't eat enough. Dinner enough. Etc. too fragile physically etc. all me. I told him he broke my heart and to leave me alone. Never bother me again
After almost 14 months, no. No, she doesn't feel any loss. So, it is like it is.
Same here and she been in other Relationships and nothing as worked out for her but she still trying , I don't think it will ever hit here till somthink bad happens
Right? Been a year for me and that girl fell off the planet for me. Pretty sure she cheated and when I mentioned something about it she left and hasn't spoke to me since
Almost two years for me. They don’t gaf. The nicer you are the more they treat u like crap.
Almost 6 months in for me and nothing, not a peek or peep. Like I meant nothing to him and he hastily forgot.
@@HaloHuntress
I have been 8 years and 10 months with her.
After brake up, like I never existed. So, like I said, it is over for real.
And, to be frankly, I really don't care anymore for anything or anyone.
Some one who can't make good life choices....is someone you don't need in your life. Thats pretty simple, now isn't it.
Hi Coach Lee,
Me and my ex broke up on the 23rd of September and I begged and pleaded her and she said she’d think about it. She officially broke up on the 27th of September. I went no contact with her for 20 days and then broke no contact with her as the dumpee asking to get back in contact with her. Got a really positive reply from her and she agrees that we shouldn’t be ignoring eachother. Her replies slowed down from then, taking days to reply and it took us a week to organise a date to meet up on. It’s next Wednesday on the 6th. We’re gonna meet in college and talk about what happened cos she blindsided me and gave no explanation. But she’s also acting positive to me whilst reposting negative videos about me like I was some awful boyfriend which I wasn’t. I made a few mistakes but they were nothing major and she never communicated those things with me. I don’t know why she’s reposting these horrible things about me and it’s taking a toll on my mental health. I’ve cried every day since breaking no contact. What should I do on our meet up? Should I adress where I went wrong and why I believe we broke up? Or should I just be happy and enjoy the time with her and only talk about deep things when she asks? I miss that girl like hell and I’d do anything to get her back but I’m just so scared she’s gonna be gone forever. Because one of my boundaries are that I’ll never speak to her again if she even kisses another guy because I know my worth. After we arranged the date I closed the conversation by saying looking forward to seeing you and now we’ve been back in no contact for 7 days. I’m scared and I’m really worried and lost. Please help me
All I read is you broke no contact.
I was broken up with on the 15th of September. I flew back home and haven’t contacted them since. They haven’t contacted me either. Don’t hurt yourself. Stay in no contact.
Be the prize do not let her be the price, man up dude!
@@Sonfesam yeah man I know it’s just rlly tough
How long is This going to take to feel this loss lol . We’re creeping up on 4 months since we split after almost 6 years together . She reached out two month ago with the I miss you crap and said we should get together when we’ve healed more . Haven’t heard a word from her since . This breakup has changed my entire view on what’s good with a relationship because I thought we were perfect together and there was zero stress. I was certain she was the one and I was content with that and I thought she was to from everything she’s told me. I’ve been in plenty of relationship and I was so certain about this one and was wrong so how am I ever supposed to trust my instincts again with a woman.
That’s funny
Sounds like she got bored.
@@truesincerity757 no apparently I wasn’t supportive enough and I have a daughter from a high school relationship that she’s jealous about. We’ve met up a few times and had dinner and still talk occasional but I’ve accepted maybe we weren’t meant to be together . It is what it is . It’s helped me do some thing I prob wouldn’t have had we still be together
@@di114n2 Yes maybe your kid is an intrusion… it means she has a lot to deal with
@@Wizard-Girl9 I get where she’s coming from to an extent with her being jealous I’ve already experienced this with another woman and maybe she wants a man who hasn’t but I told her about my daughter on our very first date . Now she has brought it up multiple times about how much it makes her jealous but I always thought she’d accept it and get over it . I always tried to tell her if we had kids it would be just as special but idk . She definitely goes through some things mentally and I can look back and say maybe I didn’t support her fully but I was always so confused with her career paths/plan.
After Listening all your advice make me feel much better...
First time here. Strong message, thank you Coach Lee.
26 years divorced to a cheating woman. Im still angry. At myself for trusting her and being so stupid I didn’t see it coming. She NEVER reached out after and married the man she cheated on me with. So, why would I EVER want her back? And yes, it still hurts and I still love her and would forgive her, but SHE is the only one that can change this, not me. It is the biggest thing that still haunts me. I have no power or control over what has happened.
Thanks!
Thank you so much!