Some Reasons Why I Stayed

Marriage as currently constructed is a flawed institution. Two people are not enough to sustain a healthy family & relationship in the systems that are presently working against us. #marriage #divorce #separation #church #patriarchy #parenting

[@redfish2229]

I think this sounds like a lot of unaccountability. I feel the opposite. Once u involve too many outside systems or ppl into ur family or marriage, ur just asking for chaos.

[@JaimeandJosh]

Say more about unaccountability. Not sure I’m following, but interested to hear your perspective.

[@redfish2229]

@@JaimeandJosh u keep saying "if it wasn't for this or that, my marriage wld have worked". You're not taking accountability for ur marriage. If u wanted it to work, u wld have made it work. The grass is greener where YOU water it...not for someone else to come lay new sod or grass seed and come by every week to make sure u watered it. I understand the "it takes a village" and it def helps to have a good support system; but that's all just a bonus
What systems are we lacking that cld have prevented ur marriage from failing?

[@EddieLancelot]

This was my thought. Granted, I know nothing other than what I saw in this video, so there could be a lot more to this.
It's a hefty claim to say that "Marriage is a broken institution." It's far more fair to say, "Here are the mistakes I made in my marriage..." Having married parents is a major predictor of success for children. I think that says a lot about its value.

[@heynewmama5279]

@@redfish2229 how do you water the grass in times when you have nothing left to give?

[@heynewmama5279]

@@redfish2229the systems which would have helped keep my marriage from breaking are (in the policy category); paid post pardum parental leave for both parents, universal health care, UBI for caregivers or child tax credits, grandparents who could afford to retire, reduced automobile infrastructure returning communities to safe places children can move, walk, ride bikes independently, high quality sex education. The 40-60 work week with low vacation days.
In the soft structure category (not public policy, but rather ingrained social narratives that drive decision making); gendered family “roles”, gendered household tasks, centering intercourse as a male “need”, the nuclear family as self sustaining. A misunderstanding of what it takes to raise healthy children.
Among many others.
Ps UBI/ stipends/ tax credits for parents exists in some form in over 25 countries. If the Philippines can afford to do it, so can the US.

[@angelaponticelli3361]

So sorry that your Christian parents and church would have disowned you!!! We don’t do that in a real Christian family/church!

[@JaimeandJosh]

Unfortunately in many churches the patriarchal foundation makes it easy to dismiss women who are deemed not to be following the rules.