r/Choosingbeggars Hiring 1 Full-Time Slave - NO PAY. Apply Here 🥰

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ส.ค. 2020
  • r/Choosingbeggars Are you currently looking for a job? Well, I've got GREAT NEWS! I've found a job posting that requires where you won't even have to pay any taxes on your income! That's because you won't have any income! Yep, this is a job that you will do for free, because I guess these people expect to hire an actual human slave. If you enjoyed this video, let me know by hitting the like button and subscribing to my channel!
    🤑 r/Choosingbeggars I'LL SUE YOU FOR GETTING ME ON RSLASH! • r/Choosingbeggars I'LL...
    🔔 Subscribe: bit.ly/2E3A8i6
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    ⚓ Send me a voice message: anchor.fm/rslash
    📸 Instagram: / rslashyt
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    #reddit #choosingbeggars #funnyredditposts
    "Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
    License: CC By Attribution 3.0
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ความคิดเห็น • 1.7K

  • @rSlash
    @rSlash  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1025

    If you're thinking of applying to the $0/hr job, IT'S TOO LATE BECAUSE I APPLIED ALREADY
    If I get accepted I'll have to quit this channel. Does anybody want it?

  • @javierpena2141
    @javierpena2141 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1177

    I want to see one of thode "requirement to be my GF" with
    1 talk to me
    2 sing whenever you want
    3 do NOT dissapear when I take my meds

    • @pollyesther1243
      @pollyesther1243 3 ปีที่แล้ว +88

      the last point was such a plot twist.

    • @Unknown-xk5uk
      @Unknown-xk5uk 3 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      Prada D I know right such a compelling character arc

    • @shinyumbreon8984
      @shinyumbreon8984 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      If a girl does exist for that guy she is probably going to kick his butt

    • @Frostfern94
      @Frostfern94 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      It took me a while omfg XD

    • @A_Rose_From_Concrete
      @A_Rose_From_Concrete 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Wait... what??? 😂😂😂

  • @CJXXxxUnknown
    @CJXXxxUnknown 3 ปีที่แล้ว +709

    I think these "influencers" are mixing up the term "influencer" with the phrase "under the influence".

    • @doomfry680
      @doomfry680 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Underrated comment

    • @NivMizzet89
      @NivMizzet89 3 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      Or possibly 'influenza' since they're sickening.

    • @peppa2089
      @peppa2089 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@NivMizzet89 I CANT WITH THIS COMMENT 😹😹😹

    • @goosegoblin3759
      @goosegoblin3759 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@NivMizzet89 magic the gathering niv mizzet? And also lol nice one

    • @JasperFoxo
      @JasperFoxo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      definitely.

  • @SmithYorkinster
    @SmithYorkinster 3 ปีที่แล้ว +266

    I love how the requirements for "girlfriend v.2.0" go from shallow and mysogenistic to full on psycopathic starting at number 12.

    • @emmamackin7751
      @emmamackin7751 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I have that guy on fb and have 19 different versions it was funny

    • @iminediamonds
      @iminediamonds 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      like I hate feminists but this guy is so misogynistic I can't disagree with them for once lmao

    • @Zangoose5
      @Zangoose5 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      To be fair, I genuinely think the entire post goes from shallow to psychopathic After “girlfriend v2.0”.

    • @blayruniverse4682
      @blayruniverse4682 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Shallow to psychopathic, the last one made me laugh tho, "and finally, hugs and kisses every day"

    • @Takokujin07
      @Takokujin07 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@blayruniverse4682 It’s like he got angry while writing it and then remembered he still wanted to be loved LMAO

  • @milodoesntknow2090
    @milodoesntknow2090 3 ปีที่แล้ว +229

    "I want the perfect girl who's pretty and is my slave and an oBjEcT"

    • @B14z3rather
      @B14z3rather 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      thaaaaatts correct

    • @ilumie9779
      @ilumie9779 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @tlessmo If robots are ever able to gain sentience I bet his mechanical girlfriend will be the first to do so, just so she can get the hell away from this walking red flag!

    • @WolfyFancyLads
      @WolfyFancyLads 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This guy clearly never heard of hookers.
      Cos that's the only girls he's ever gonna get. And even then, they have better standards.

    • @imitationporcelain
      @imitationporcelain 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      He wants a girl that have a lot of free time to be with him all the time and that he can boss around but also have a good job to help him financially ...like the audacity ,basically a free cook and house keeper and a walking atm with no self respect 😑

    • @JasperFoxo
      @JasperFoxo 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      .....⬛⬛
      .....⬛⬛
      ______________
      (👁👁)
      💪⬛⬛🎷
      ⬛⬛
      🦶🦶
      the gf the guy wanted lol

  • @GarlicBreadJesus
    @GarlicBreadJesus 3 ปีที่แล้ว +232

    Here’s MY girlfriend requirements:
    Be honest with me.
    Enjoy pizza at 2 am.
    Nap time.
    Care.

    • @-kiwiflower3783
      @-kiwiflower3783 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      what kind of pizza

    • @GarlicBreadJesus
      @GarlicBreadJesus 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      -kiwiflower anything with triple the cheese and breadsticks.

    • @grabmynuts
      @grabmynuts 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      so close, I only enjoy ice cream at 2 am

    • @lukiotemmi
      @lukiotemmi 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      I fulfill your requirments! There is only one problem....
      Im a straight guy

    • @GarlicBreadJesus
      @GarlicBreadJesus 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@lukiotemmi Hetero-Lifemate.

  • @jamesnorman9160
    @jamesnorman9160 3 ปีที่แล้ว +125

    Love how they say they're desperate for anything - even road kill - then say they're only interested in low-fat organic, etc. If you were that desperate you wouldn't add that onto your post...

    • @girlswithimagination370
      @girlswithimagination370 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Also, I believe it is illegal in some states to take roadkill

    • @jamesnorman9160
      @jamesnorman9160 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@girlswithimagination370 Why the hell would anyone eat roadkill? That's literally been pancaked on the road by god knows how many people. xD

    • @gravekeepersven82
      @gravekeepersven82 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ewwwww

    • @speedy01247
      @speedy01247 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Roadkill could have rabies as well, the number of people who survived rabies without getting immediate medical attention is less then the fingers on ones hands.

    • @ricebeansrockroll882
      @ricebeansrockroll882 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      To be fair road kill IS organic and free range.

  • @the0siren0of0night
    @the0siren0of0night 3 ปีที่แล้ว +171

    Him: "32: Must treat me like a king"
    Me: "So... Charles the first of England then?"

    • @lisakaz35
      @lisakaz35 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I take it your last name is Cromwell...

    • @the0siren0of0night
      @the0siren0of0night 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@lisakaz35 well...he didn't specify which king...😅

    • @clarabp2613
      @clarabp2613 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      More like Luis XVI of France

    • @antonesbjornsson
      @antonesbjornsson 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@clarabp2613 ggustav the 3rd of sweden

    • @Sunsin97
      @Sunsin97 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Edward II of England would also be a good pick

  • @crdnls1
    @crdnls1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +87

    Choosing beggar: you said you'd draw anything I wanted!!! I want a miles Edgeworth and Phoneix wright drawing! You're legally required to do that!
    Op: *OBJECTION!!!!*

  • @jailee6438
    @jailee6438 3 ปีที่แล้ว +779

    Requirements to be my girlfriend:
    1: be human.

    • @expressodepresso5909
      @expressodepresso5909 3 ปีที่แล้ว +125

      Sht sorry dude but I'm a sentient rock

    • @silsilahwationg8908
      @silsilahwationg8908 3 ปีที่แล้ว +54

      2:not a murderer or a drug dealer

    • @adylaar6708
      @adylaar6708 3 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      2. Not a karen

    • @hentiluvr1579
      @hentiluvr1579 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      How dare you assume my race!?

    • @RETRO-DEV
      @RETRO-DEV 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @@silsilahwationg8908 thats me off the list then... :(

  • @oVlqd
    @oVlqd 3 ปีที่แล้ว +463

    Petition for rSlash to make a video with his own "choosing beggar"/"entitled people"/"I don't work here" etc. stories!

  • @markokrstic8795
    @markokrstic8795 3 ปีที่แล้ว +343

    "You must have a muscular butt and abs"
    Something tells me this guy wants a guy but is too scared to come out of the closet.

    • @markokrstic8795
      @markokrstic8795 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      @The Plague Docter Oh, nice. Just what i needed. My neighbor has corona. Can you skip his house, he's a prick.

    • @markokrstic8795
      @markokrstic8795 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @The Plague Docter Oh, thanks dude. He keeps burning shit and the smoke keeps going to my house.

    • @Kiterpuss
      @Kiterpuss 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      He wants a muscle head guy with severe attachment disorders and "nice boobs"

    • @charleslebowski8878
      @charleslebowski8878 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      The Plague Docter can you skip....like my whole family? they’re trump lovers and are racist and homophobic.

    • @Mogijup
      @Mogijup 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Marko Krstić I was so confused until I read the username lmao

  • @15oClock
    @15oClock 3 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    My revised list for being my partner:
    -Must like me.
    -I must like them.
    I'm easy.

    • @PrettyGuardian
      @PrettyGuardian 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      This is basically all that matters.

    • @DamnItMantis
      @DamnItMantis 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Same here

  • @jaspr1999
    @jaspr1999 3 ปีที่แล้ว +147

    I"m not too clear on the whole 'Influencer' thing but that deal with the pink butterfly jewelry sounds amazing! Who wouldn't jump at that offer?
    As for the list of qualifications for a girlfriend... Jeez, what kind of person thinks they're ready for a relationship of any type if they're that self-conscious? Has this jerk ever even met another person?

    • @adzz8012
      @adzz8012 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      neckbeard niceguy... he sports a fedora and says "m'lady"....

    • @dustyrose192
      @dustyrose192 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I would reply with my own list of things he had to do in order to be my bf just to mess with him

    • @molly.dog8brooke792
      @molly.dog8brooke792 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Not self conscious; controlling and abusive. He sound like he wants to control every part of his GF’s life and eventually isolate them from her family and friends- so, HUGE red flags. It doesn’t take much to go from “don’t have guy friends” to “if you hang out with anyone but me, I’ll break up with you/hurt you/hurt them/hurt myself”.

    • @truehoomanhere6230
      @truehoomanhere6230 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@dustyrose192 Honestly I'd like to do that too (the exact same list but for him, I doubt he would appreciate it)

    • @ilumie9779
      @ilumie9779 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Call me Eszter * 'his' mom/dad
      (sry)

  • @dracko158
    @dracko158 3 ปีที่แล้ว +469

    CB: "You'll be rewarded handsomely for it."
    Also CB: "This is an *unpaid* position!"
    OP: "You gotta be kidding me. No thanks."
    CB: *Surprised Pikachu Face*

    • @dracko158
      @dracko158 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @NANCY ! 22 y.o I WANT SЕЕХ !!!! OPEN MY VIDEO !!!! You shouldn't even be doing this on here.

    • @marcmllebro1609
      @marcmllebro1609 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Dino Dracko jZøf

    • @owoster
      @owoster 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Made me laugh

    • @ashleysmith1276
      @ashleysmith1276 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@dracko158 Mmm, seex.

    • @whatsrandom6487
      @whatsrandom6487 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Why are you always here as I see you on almost every comment section on this channel

  • @xerusume
    @xerusume 3 ปีที่แล้ว +71

    5:27 39. Must not complain about domestic violence

    • @stevenschnepp576
      @stevenschnepp576 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I doubt she'd complain about beating him.

    • @thunderflare59
      @thunderflare59 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Well that's a given.

    • @ThatOneAnimeChick64
      @ThatOneAnimeChick64 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      The guy wants a muscled up girl who could bend him like a pretzel. She will be the one beating his ass

  • @andrewhanshaw5646
    @andrewhanshaw5646 3 ปีที่แล้ว +145

    The guy with the list must have self-esteem issues if he needs to force a woman to always be with him (sounds like my brother lol)

    • @Frostfern94
      @Frostfern94 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      He's a narcissistic prick though XD

    • @pewpewman._.3415
      @pewpewman._.3415 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      He sounds like an incel .

    • @AdelTheForsaken
      @AdelTheForsaken 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That person ONLY exsits in his imagination forever alone for real!

    • @mariapaz6379
      @mariapaz6379 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Must work out every day, work everyday and be at home to cook every day. That list is a joke

    • @sleepychicken6185
      @sleepychicken6185 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@pewpewman._.3415 Or ...
      NECKBEARDS!!!

  • @danielgehring7437
    @danielgehring7437 3 ปีที่แล้ว +111

    I love how one of the requirements is "do everything I say." Well then you don't need the other requirements, do you!? And it's not even at number one on the list! Plus there's just so much overlap: separate points for working out, working out your butt, working out your legs, working out your ankles (!?!), etc. No no, when I go to the gym I only use the one machine that works my gluts and literally no other muscles.

    • @siukong
      @siukong 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Yeah like imagine there's some woman who somehow meets all those requirements (already a fantasy scenario, I know), except she doesn't have muscular calves so it's a dealbreaker. That would be like finding a winning lottery ticket on the ground but then going "too bad one of those numbers is my unlucky number, guess I'm not going to cash this in"

    • @derguenter6257
      @derguenter6257 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      but only working one group of muscles is kinda unhealthy too.. just sayin - that can cause joint and spineproblems later.

    • @danielgehring7437
      @danielgehring7437 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@derguenter6257 Right, but he didn't have to list every muscle group individually, lol.

    • @danielgehring7437
      @danielgehring7437 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I think you're underestimating the number of drunk people online who are willing to follow shady links they found on TH-cam profiles.

  • @RoanNebunescu
    @RoanNebunescu 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Well, simply put, that guy is never going to have a girlfriend for the rest of eternity.

    • @mah7961
      @mah7961 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Unless he pays for it.

  • @neilprice513
    @neilprice513 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Requirements if I ever get a girlfriend: LOL
    1) Must like me.
    2) We get on well together.
    END as anything else is a bonus

    • @buzzyboi1037
      @buzzyboi1037 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Mine would be:
      1. Must be female (optional)

  • @krab1791
    @krab1791 3 ปีที่แล้ว +145

    Wedding Invitations aren’t $5. They are much less,
    It is the meal and to a further extent the facility & music that add up to the costs.
    However, it is NEVER acceptable to tell people what you expect people to gift you.
    People should always give according to their means regardless of what the bridal couple spent.

    • @dubious6718
      @dubious6718 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      For the last wedding I attended I got a verbal invitation, so it cost them zero dollar
      No, I didn't buy a gift as they didn't want anything

    • @brandonnyberg5733
      @brandonnyberg5733 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lol I’ve never bought a wedding gift I just throw like 20$ in a card ahhahahha

    • @sierrasouthwell9237
      @sierrasouthwell9237 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I mean, it IS acceptable to tell people what you expect to be gifted. It's called a registry

    • @Lyndiloo
      @Lyndiloo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Professionally printed wedding invitations, including save the date cards, and RSVP cards, for 100 guests will cost $500 average. Nicer paper, gold foil font, printed envelopes, you can easily hit $750 for 100 guests. If you're *demanding* $250 gifts, you're definitely buying fancy invites. *Most* people won't spend that kind of money on invites, though, and it's just as you said that the facility, meal, and services are the major costs. And that is why I got married in the back of a pickup truck during a crawfish boil for free. Highly recommended.

    • @seanl7804
      @seanl7804 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      IIRC, I think my wife and I spent less than $150 on invitations on about 50-75 invitations. 11 years ago, hard to remember exact numbers.

  • @keh1396
    @keh1396 3 ปีที่แล้ว +172

    It's become a ritual for me where I just lie down, close my eyes and listen to rSlash. Truly amazing
    Edit: I'm relieved that we're all the same here!

    • @khloi2150
      @khloi2150 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Same

    • @MartinsApinis89
      @MartinsApinis89 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Same here

    • @kagegamer5719
      @kagegamer5719 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Almost the same but daily I don't watch much until I watch rslash for the day

    • @RadioActiveDragon
      @RadioActiveDragon 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Honestly same. His voice is pretty calming and easy to picture a story in my mind

    • @just_jack3309
      @just_jack3309 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I wake up at nine for that exact reason

  • @UniTheNstall
    @UniTheNstall 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Requirements to be my GF:
    1: Be alive
    2: Be a woman
    3: Don't be a choosing beggar
    4: Don't disappear when I wake up

    • @cloudfan228
      @cloudfan228 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      5:dont steal my kidney

  • @Jennifer-jt9cb
    @Jennifer-jt9cb 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    When I got married, I printed out my own invitations. I had a small wedding with somewhere between 30-40 people there. The invitations weren't anything super fancy, because my computer at the time wasn't anything special (it was 2008) but everyone loved them. Some told me they thought the invitations were extra special because I completely designed every detail myself. I even personalized them to everyone by printing their names on them to my wedding. I went the extra mile to make it as special and memorable as I could. I still watch the video of it just to remember how exactly amazing it was.

    • @renakaskie4928
      @renakaskie4928 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      That's so sweet, omg. 🥺

  • @ipsygypsy16
    @ipsygypsy16 3 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    Shoots. don't have muscular calves... missed the opportunity of a lifetime. :( :(

    • @nero.unleashed
      @nero.unleashed 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      ☹ better luck next time

    • @loafie_bread
      @loafie_bread 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Man, I feel bad for you, that dude sounded like a total catch.

    • @prettypleasewithsugarontop4858
      @prettypleasewithsugarontop4858 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I don’t have abs I’ll cry myself to sleep tonight

    • @iminediamonds
      @iminediamonds 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      yeah guy sounded like hes never gonna treat you as a slave right???

  • @JustADioWhosAHeroForFun
    @JustADioWhosAHeroForFun 3 ปีที่แล้ว +157

    To he honest, who will fall for that? Imagine having a job with no salary

    • @xmarkiexmayhemx2200
      @xmarkiexmayhemx2200 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ur name annoys me

    • @WhoRUTalkingAbout
      @WhoRUTalkingAbout 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Only those people or want to be slaves

    • @r3m221
      @r3m221 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      unpaid internships -_-

    • @kaiahshae1815
      @kaiahshae1815 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Off topic, but wholy crap, is your picture a edited photo of Saitama?

    • @boredok6664
      @boredok6664 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      School

  • @tyanabullock1528
    @tyanabullock1528 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    That guy with that girlfriend requirements let me sum it up:
    Must let me control her whole life and and HOT

    • @Zamolxes77
      @Zamolxes77 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Considering women draw up similar lists of impossible man standards, I see nothing wrong with it. Equality.

    • @ellycantsleep5838
      @ellycantsleep5838 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Zamolxes77 both are equally awful

    • @Zamolxes77
      @Zamolxes77 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ellycantsleep5838 I did not pronounce if they good or awful, just equal.

  • @Culvey
    @Culvey 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Honestly, that deal of getting 12 people to buy the product at a discount and you get your item for free is an amazing deal for low-end "influencers" like those asking.

  • @jackhasdream-z7932
    @jackhasdream-z7932 3 ปีที่แล้ว +97

    I've been listening to your channel every single morning for as long as this channel has been up. Thank you so much rslash, for being apart of my morning, your content really brightens my day.

  • @enderteimant740
    @enderteimant740 3 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    3:26
    For a second I thought rSlash said: "Requirements to be my girlfriend virgin 2.0" and I chuckled for 5 seconds before commenting this

    • @8bittChess
      @8bittChess 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I see what you did there.

  • @ninjasiren
    @ninjasiren 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    That finding the girlfriend one, gosh high standards much, with misogyny.

    • @iminediamonds
      @iminediamonds 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I am an anti feminist but still, this guy is super misogynistic

  • @styphonuk
    @styphonuk 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    "Meanwhile it's a full-time job that requires you to wake up at 4am"
    Got the timezones backwards. You would start work at 2pm and finish at 10pm.

  • @alphatwist2191
    @alphatwist2191 3 ปีที่แล้ว +81

    CB: you have to be my slave with 1 meal a MONTH no going out 1 water break a day and you MUST do anything I say
    Pay: You Owe ME money

    • @Karen-kl7yc
      @Karen-kl7yc 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      My precious angel needs a job so hire him now

    • @RuyVuusen
      @RuyVuusen 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@Karen-kl7yc My human meat factory would be happy to hire him as a "product producer". The pay is a generous $100 000 per kg, delivered to his person of trust. If you are wondering why the pay is so high, it's because this is a rising industry.

    • @Karen-kl7yc
      @Karen-kl7yc 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@RuyVuusen Yes I accept

    • @RuyVuusen
      @RuyVuusen 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Karen-kl7yc Okay, please refer to the previously stated email for more info, and we can get him to work as soon as next Monday!

    • @Karen-kl7yc
      @Karen-kl7yc 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@RuyVuusen Yes I will right now

  • @korycharter6175
    @korycharter6175 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    This guy has a list of 36 things as requirements for his girlfriend
    I don’t want anything but cuddles

    • @meganfenton856
      @meganfenton856 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I know what you mean, it's like he expects perfection while the rest of us are praying for someone who will tolerate our BS!
      Although I will say this. I do require my boyfriend be male and legal, JS.

    • @daniellediller5070
      @daniellediller5070 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@meganfenton856 I'll concure the legal, and adult part but I'm very open to all opinions lawl😏

    • @otterinaballgown3703
      @otterinaballgown3703 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Cuddles are so important! Love the wholesomeness of this comment.

  • @stevesand8845
    @stevesand8845 3 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    This makes me think about about what actual “requitements” I would have if I made a list for potential girlfriends
    1) not be a drug addict, or at least be willing get help
    2) must be female (cause I’m straight)
    3) non-smoker preferable
    4) must be open to having vaccinated kids.
    5) must believe the earth is round and old
    6) must not be brainwashed by Donald Trump
    7)not a racist, homophobe, or bigot in any way
    I think that’s pretty realistic

    • @mohammedalghannam6879
      @mohammedalghannam6879 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Sadly some people will still have one of the nos that you picked

    • @melwhite2023
      @melwhite2023 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      naw bro this is a super normal realistic list. literal 90% of random girls you could just point to on the street will fit this description and then some

    • @lomax343
      @lomax343 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      4 - 7 So - you don't want a US citizen, then?

  • @alfieab4932
    @alfieab4932 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I couldn't stop laughing when the woman said she would be taking her own life 🤣🤣🤣

  • @dhi_holo9341
    @dhi_holo9341 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    You messed up a bit with that last post reaction, Mr R.
    A US 9-5, when viewed from Ireland's timezone (as given in the post, a difference of 5 hours), would be 2-10(pm for both). The US is GMT-4 to -7 I think (might be further off, trying to remember all your timezones is a mess, especially with DST), while Ireland iirc is GMT+0/+1 when DST is around.
    While you get a sleep in, it's unpaid work into the late hours. Still fairly yikes

    • @jrussell4370
      @jrussell4370 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I thought that too. i talk to my parents in Illinois from the UK from time to time and always gotta remember they are earlier than me. If it was paid, waking up at noon would be a great starting time...

    • @Forest_Fifer
      @Forest_Fifer 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      East coast is GMT-5, west coast is GMT-8.
      I had to attend an online training course a couple of years back, which ran on East Coast time. It included US and European staff. It was odd ending the course at 10pm, with all the Americans saying "what are you doing tonight?" to which my answer was "going to bed".

    • @bebhinnbell1510
      @bebhinnbell1510 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      When he said getting up at 4 am i facepalmed as it had just said in the post that us is 5 hours behind and not ahead

    • @vrenak
      @vrenak 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Indeed that just makes the hoours worse as it completely destroys any chance of spending time with family/friends in the evening, sure you have the morning off, but everyone else is busy then. it's a shitty schedule.

  • @middysart
    @middysart 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    it literally makes me so sad to see someone treat an artist so poorly :(

  • @McLeanAmy
    @McLeanAmy ปีที่แล้ว +2

    "If you have to beg, you're not an influencer." Very well said!

  • @AnonYmous-mc5zx
    @AnonYmous-mc5zx 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Just as a note, if someone threatens to kill themselves as a guilt trip for something, you can report that person to the authorities who will then collect said person and admit them to a facility on the guise they pose a danger to themselves.

  • @Telemergion
    @Telemergion 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    That one guy with the girlfriend list MUST BE real lonely

  • @jacobcooper2659
    @jacobcooper2659 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    3:50 just the way the guy wrote #10 and the way you said it has me dead xD

  • @seacucmbergirl5765
    @seacucmbergirl5765 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    7:06 - 8:48
    If you're an influencer on tik tok you get the quick block

  • @heyitzbabygurl4025
    @heyitzbabygurl4025 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    3:32 - 5:16 This is how not to get a girlfriend. Take notes everyone!

    • @viperaputakeyteaparyou8237
      @viperaputakeyteaparyou8237 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Just for that remark, I think you put yourself out of that guy's list 😔

    • @heyitzbabygurl4025
      @heyitzbabygurl4025 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@viperaputakeyteaparyou8237 I think I would clearly be off this guy's list a long time ago. Plus I'm actually a lesbian.

    • @viperaputakeyteaparyou8237
      @viperaputakeyteaparyou8237 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@heyitzbabygurl4025 Fair enough, ahahah

  • @scourgemcedgelord9263
    @scourgemcedgelord9263 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Requirements to be my partner:
    1. Be a cat
    2. Be dead
    3. Be in Warriors.

    • @mikhailgorbachev7851
      @mikhailgorbachev7851 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Goat I think it's reference to something but I can't think of what

    • @zacharygilmore1075
      @zacharygilmore1075 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@mikhailgorbachev7851 So Scourge wants either Firestar, Tigerstar, Yellowfang, Cinderheart, or one of many others as their partner.

  • @augustsmols2413
    @augustsmols2413 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Can we just take a moment to appreciate rSlash's lil rap at 6:26 ?

  • @mrl9418
    @mrl9418 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    CB : "Only entitled Millenials ask for a paycheck!"

  • @MaxWolfe17
    @MaxWolfe17 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    4:30 the way he words number 19 is weird... Who does he expect to come with him on a date if she was his gf (as if he'd get one lol)

    • @michelleprieur1
      @michelleprieur1 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      You took the words right out of my mouth. I rolled my eyes so hard at that list I think I saw out of my own ass, but that one legit confused me. "Must come with me on dates"? Uh. As opposed to what? 😋😄

  • @TheN3onDragon
    @TheN3onDragon 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    USA : 9am - 5pm
    Irish equivalent : 2pm -10pm

  • @woos057
    @woos057 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    The guy with the requirements for his girlfriend remind me of Chris chan who has a similar list of requirements.
    Both can be glad if they ever got one

    • @luigines6457
      @luigines6457 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Heck, they'd be lucky if a girl (if they fit their requirements or not) would even consider them after they've seen that post.

  • @Roamer145
    @Roamer145 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I did custom printed wedding invites for my wedding. Ordered them from a local photo printing service. It came out to $0.15/per invite. 200 invites, so a total of $30.

  • @broke_af_games9661
    @broke_af_games9661 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The graphic designer struggle is real. I bailed on the career because everyone wanted the service but nobody wanted to pay. 3 years of college... Recession was a bad time to graduate.

  • @ruzacharou8021
    @ruzacharou8021 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Am I the only one who says "every singe day" along with rslash at the end of every video?

    • @meganfenton856
      @meganfenton856 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      You are not... I also follow it with "I know you do!"

    • @loafie_bread
      @loafie_bread 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      nope 👋🏼

    • @mh27400
      @mh27400 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Most people would say "every single day", not sure what a "singe" day is

  • @reverse2358
    @reverse2358 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    1:19 God I feel so sorry for OP. I haven't had anyone be as much of a jerk as those CBs when I did my art raffle, but damn that looked like I might not do any art raffles anymore. I hope OP does well with art!

  • @WolsworthPS4
    @WolsworthPS4 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    5:20
    I really hope that the post is satire because no way is anyone going out with that person.
    Plus jesus are some of the things said just show how dam insecure and controlling the poster is(if post isnt satire)

    • @sierrasouthwell9237
      @sierrasouthwell9237 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I mean, at least he's upfront with the red flags. With some guys you have to wait months to notice these kinds of things.

    • @WolsworthPS4
      @WolsworthPS4 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sierrasouthwell9237 yeah, that is true.
      Some people seem kind at first and then after 3 months, you notice their true colors

    • @stevenschnepp576
      @stevenschnepp576 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      It's a satire of girls' dating profiles and their list of absurd requirements.

  • @alternativebassist
    @alternativebassist 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    9:10 I’m almost certain this Karen knew what they were doing lol

  • @BanditAviation
    @BanditAviation 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Rslash
    39. Must have to pay child support if my GF leaves me.
    40. I'm single and I don't need a GF.

  • @hrk2
    @hrk2 3 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    Haven't watched the video yet but I know its great

  • @ms.skinderella9814
    @ms.skinderella9814 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Honestly the best part of these videos are your laugh. It makes me smile everytime I hear it because I know it comes from genuine shock from ridiculousness. 😀

  • @stoppickingurnose7852
    @stoppickingurnose7852 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    9:21
    $250+??? Who are you marrying, Christian Grey?
    I'll leave now.

  • @mikea491
    @mikea491 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    "...We're artist."
    Eeyup, see where this is going.

  • @coralinaverissimo5392
    @coralinaverissimo5392 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Me watching the requirements to be that guy girlfriend: wow that's a lot to process...Oh my god and they keep going...someone make it stop!

    • @Bitna01
      @Bitna01 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Right?! I was thinking to myself "Oh my fucking god. When will this end?!"

    • @coralinaverissimo5392
      @coralinaverissimo5392 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Bitna01 1.68

  • @rosepuppy1984
    @rosepuppy1984 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    11th post: lol no CB. *pulls out uno reverso. This is the real world darling!

  • @Marsmuncher
    @Marsmuncher 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    That final one had me laughing. The USA company basically outsourcing it's attempt at slavery...ridiculous.

  • @junhanhk
    @junhanhk 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    29. “Must act feminine”
    34. “Must not be a feminist”

    • @ricebeansrockroll882
      @ricebeansrockroll882 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Its good he specified he dosent like feminists because he sounds like he'd have to fence them of with a pole otherwise.

    • @skippy8696
      @skippy8696 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      The stereotypical 3rd wave feminist isn't very feminine though, so this isn't a contradiction?

    • @Tamara-ju3lh
      @Tamara-ju3lh 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@skippy8696 feminine and masculine are subjective words. So it depends on the century (men used to wear lace and were still considered masculine), country, religion, etc.
      I grew up in a church who thought pants weren't feminine but also banned makeup. Makeup is seen as feminine by a lot of people but wasn't by the religion I was in. So again, the term is subjective, especially in a historical context.

  • @lycansoot
    @lycansoot 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Requirements to be my partner:
    Don’t be toxic
    Be human
    Have similar interests
    So, basically anyone, but I’m 13 so not yet I guess.
    *THIS IS A JOKE AJSJSJSJS*

    • @Joert04
      @Joert04 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I’m almost 20 and that’s exactly what my requirements are.

  • @tdavenport720
    @tdavenport720 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Requirements to be my girlfriend:
    98) Must have low self esteem
    99) Must have no brains whatsoever
    100) Must have a pulse

    • @zippymk13
      @zippymk13 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I think the last one might be optional for this guy.

  • @RedT...TheOriginal.NotANumber
    @RedT...TheOriginal.NotANumber 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Wasn't too bad when that CB was asking for fresh roadkill. My dad used to have a deal with the sheriff of the small town he and Mom lived in: Someone hits a deer, the sheriff gives him a call to collect it. Easy cleanup, instead of having rotting carcass on the road, and free meat for Dad. Deer meat is really healthy, too!
    Then CB started going on about the hoity-toity specific requirements, and I noped on out of her camp.

  • @nyamcallister7208
    @nyamcallister7208 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    requirements for being my gf
    -exist
    -be a girl
    -be living
    -idk... breathe air? im out of ideas man
    -so hows it goin yall
    -yeah im about fine i think, a little warm but, what can ya do right?
    -summer man.. summer..
    -summer sucks
    -but i guess its better than late spring. no pollen!
    -pollen also sucks
    -yknow my favorite season?
    -winter
    -i like the cold
    -and snows pretty nice too
    -i especially love christmas
    -i like making people happy, yknow?
    -and i like giving myself the challenge of figuring out what people want
    -i especially love figuring out what people dont know they want
    -like, one year, i gave my mom potpourri
    -because she loves scented candles and inscense
    -so i figured she would love potpourri too
    -and she did! she still uses the stuff to this day
    -idk the fact that i gave her a thing that she loved so much that she uses it to this day is just
    -it makes me happy
    -what makes you happy?
    -it doesnt have to be anything deep, yknow?
    -maybe playing video games makes you happy
    -or watching youtube videos
    -or drawing
    -or working on cars
    -if you read down this far, id love to know what makes you happy
    -and if you're in a bad mood
    -maybe it will help you feel not so bad
    -so yeah
    -my big opinion on things is that for some reason society doesnt.. respect the idea of small frivolous things making people happy
    -its gotta be big and deep and life defining
    -and if its not then, you shouldnt waste your time
    -i dont believe that
    -whats life if ur not doing the things you love
    -even if the things you love consist of petting your dog and binging netflix
    -its the little things, you know?
    -let yourself enjoy them
    -so that was my little lesson of the day
    -hope it helped someone down there

  • @rosepuppy1984
    @rosepuppy1984 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    1st one: huh? Lol how can someone who says they’re willing to eat *roadkill* be so picky? It’s honestly funny. “We are hungry enough we are looking for roadkill...” we only eat fresh organic or wild green and fruit and berry and meat.” But *_roadkill?_* Something tells me that if someone tells the, where they can find some nearby she’ll be like “ew no what am I a hobo?”

    • @bretsheeley4034
      @bretsheeley4034 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I'm sorry. We will only consider gluten-free vegan roadkill options.

  • @mads855
    @mads855 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Are you kidding me! The first story was posted to my local FB group!!!! I'm dying 😂😂 she even posted to our local homesteading page I'm a member of and asked for meat and was being really sketchy. I remember I laughed and thought it was so sketchy.

  • @birdie5029
    @birdie5029 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The "see ya!" was savage 😂😂😂

  • @josephstalin6327
    @josephstalin6327 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    The damn TH-cam notification has failed me for the last damn time
    Edit:it took three minutes

  • @alex6187
    @alex6187 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    5:20 with everything that guy said i think he needs his mom desperately

  • @gamingwithmax7873
    @gamingwithmax7873 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    R/slash’s voice talent is so good and weird at the same time, I love it!!

  • @sauvikmandal281
    @sauvikmandal281 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Best TH-cam channel ever. Can't just stop watching these videos. Nice work brother. 😎

  • @aceoverlord650
    @aceoverlord650 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    no views wtf how did i manage this I just refreshed youtube

  • @Beth_The_Bored
    @Beth_The_Bored 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Me: *listening to that list*
    Gotcha. You want a waifu that doesn't exist.
    EDIT: "I don't want kids! Humpfh!"
    "Must have kids is a *must*."
    Wait...did he just contradict himself or......?

    • @ariadnefrolich7243
      @ariadnefrolich7243 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      He wants her to have kids with him and no one else.

  • @jamesmills5326
    @jamesmills5326 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Rando: Has 36 requirements for a gf.
    Me: Only real requirement is them being a girl and honestly, I'm starting to waver on that even lol

  • @rubiefrog536
    @rubiefrog536 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I put these stories on to listen to at night when me and my Mom work together from home during this lockdown . My mom is a bit of a Karen sometimes ... she’s not a bad person or chronically unpleasant to spend time with ... it’s just now and then she can become a little verbal about things and situations that are rather normal, average and/or acceptable/understandable in today’s society. Now she doesn’t think she is a bit of a Karen (obviously) . But non the less, since I started listening to these stories with her , she stopped acting like a Karen . It’s like your stories makes her think twice before she acts . Our favorite stories include “choosing beggars” “ Entitled parents” and “ I don’t work here lady” . Lol anyways thanks for all the awesome stories .

  • @shadowwolf8434
    @shadowwolf8434 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Dominos decides to bend the knee and simp for misandrist Karen's
    Karens: THATS NOT GOOD ENOUGH I WANT SOMETHING ELSE

  • @radenprasetyo8234
    @radenprasetyo8234 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    4:59 must treat me like a king?
    Can someone give him a french girlfriend?

  • @heathertulip2389
    @heathertulip2389 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Honestly, that offer for influencers who get a coupon code for their followers AND will get their purchase refunded if only TWELVE people use it?! That’s an INCREDIBLE deal, I’m sure many small-scale influencers in the earlier stages of their career would be THRILLED with an offer like that! It’s a win-win-win! Everybody wins!

  • @ScooterBond1970
    @ScooterBond1970 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    "Terms & conditions apply." 🤣🤣
    Also, that poem: 🤣🤣 again

  • @Teraclon
    @Teraclon 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    03:28 I feel as if this person must be joking. If not, then he should be removed from other humans ASAP.

  • @JNT101
    @JNT101 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Sometimes i question my sanity when i watch these videos.

  • @princess_shymiera
    @princess_shymiera 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    As an artist, I never had a choosing begger demanding free art. Now I know what to expect and thanks to rSlash, I will be prepared

  • @vortexv22
    @vortexv22 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    The poem you wrote was hilarious!!!🤣🤣🤣

  • @love4unme96
    @love4unme96 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The list of girlfriend requirements. The one was super got me was 19. Must come on dates with me. Like does he mean a three way date? 'Cause that could get real weird.

  • @thevoid3852
    @thevoid3852 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    My requirements for a gf:
    -Must be female (optional)

  • @eyekona
    @eyekona 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I literally know a woman that seeks for a men like this and fulfills all of his criteria... they are out there!

  • @ezas7496
    @ezas7496 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Bro you're fucking awesome, I listen to this while eating, drawing, and doing a ton more finally I have something good to watch on youtube

  • @phantomkitsune010
    @phantomkitsune010 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    When they realise tiktok getting ban in United States and most of there's sound like they are from there it useless

  • @bubbletea1985
    @bubbletea1985 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This dude gives ace attorney fans a bad name :(

  • @kota_bear7174
    @kota_bear7174 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    It’s become such a routine to wake up and get ready for work to your videos. My entire morning is ruined if I don’t do it.

  • @spookyruinsfest4936
    @spookyruinsfest4936 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I think it’s ironic that one guy wants a women so is beefy enough to probably break his neck with her wonder woman thighs but also wants her to be a doormat? Yeah good luck bud.

    • @HomkHomk
      @HomkHomk 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      True though- how would you find someone like that lol what is he thinking

  • @alistorexeprimexiii6973
    @alistorexeprimexiii6973 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    5:24 one of my fb friends knows this dude. He drew her some... interesting muscle girl oc's

  • @RoumyQuack
    @RoumyQuack 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    requirements to be my girlfriend
    1. Love me

    • @8bittChess
      @8bittChess 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      2. Be a girl

    • @user-qw1ez9gq3p
      @user-qw1ez9gq3p 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@8bittChessFemboys : *Bruh*

    • @schwellenangst1605
      @schwellenangst1605 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I'd love to be ur gf
      But you gotta low down that standar cus reasons 😘

  • @lucy_kitty_chan447
    @lucy_kitty_chan447 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    3:25
    Sorry dude, you hallucinating like heck😹😹😹

  • @MunchieMunches
    @MunchieMunches 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Gotta have respect for a man who wanted a Ace Attorney picture drawn