Alost 3 years clean and I still have damage. Spasms and twitching and shaking in my calves/torso. Pinched nerve pain in my neck and left shoulder blade. I also have feelings of doom and dread. Feelings of hopelessness. Anxiety is not as bad but it's still there. Depersonalization is bad but it has made me see life in a new way. It's hard to explain. This planet is truly one big torture chamber for all lifeforms. I can just see and feel it more clearly now. I feel like a God who feels all the pain of its creation.
Hi Lockie, I watched both of your video's. That's great that you put out whatever you can for others to have hope. After thirteen years on Klonopin. I switched over to it's equivalent in Diazapam/Valium being 40 mg's! Then I tapered over four months. So inclusing the time it took for me to wake up healed last Sept 1st. My life was literal hell from Benzo's and Benzo withdrawal for about two years and two months. Your looking good guy, I'm glad your feelin better................take care mate!
Thanks for your video! My intrusive thoughts telling me, that I'm worthless and will never have a normal life and that maybe I'm just sick in the head. It's so messed up, I don't want to have this thoughts. The depersonalisation/derealization is also bad!
At one point for like 21 months my thoughts told me the same thing. Your damaged for life, and never going to get better. I tried to not pay attention to that and stay as positive as possible. I guess it worked as one day I healed overnight from all that hell. So hang in there and never lose hope.
Neighbor Bob hi been watching your videos very good info & thank you so many need a good man to say it’s possible - I don’t know if your a praying man but I believe Jesus touched you that nite you don’t hear or see that often that you where in worst state ever and woke up healed - 💥❣️ I hope your spiritual side was awakened as well - thank you very good ideas I was given 1 1/2 mg per day after husband passed not knowing even what the name was Xanex said what is that she said it will calm you down - I was in early 50’s never took a drug in life ever took dailybon & off -- so skip some yrs and just took whenever i wasn’t doing good - reached tolerance which took along time - knew the ringing was something screaming at me stop -never had tinnitus whole life so instead of taper which didn’t even research st all --I said done that was 30 days ago but prepared nothing on calendar / on purpose - so kinda planned the withdrawal so far not to bad - not comfortable but trying to stay away from horror stories I also read that only 30 to 40% really get all withdrawals -some people don’t ever get them so staying positive that this is just bump in road -lesson learned -- but your vitamin & food info is excellent thank you god bless 💥❣️💥
Great video! Straight to the point. I'm in my 21st month and still slide into that horrible DP zone at least once in a month for about 3-5 days. The intrusive thoughts are pure HELL but I stick to telling myself that it's my brain and NOT me! The looping thoughts/songs is very demanding and persistent at times. Looking forward to finally feeling like myself again. The only thing that does help is weed. I've used CBD Oil also but the THC is a must to help with the anxiety, pain, and deep depressed thoughts. It's also the only thing that helps me sleep and helps my appetite. Nothing else would help so I'll continue with it through this pure hell pile O bullshit! Peace to you Bob and everyone else fighting this brain damage healing!
@@neighborbob3043 - I'm a bit of a conspiracy theorist myself. It took off quite a bit during the withdrawal, etc, and has been an excellent distraction. One thing is for sure.. Getting off klonopin really woke me up at the same time! I started seeing everything so clearly. Even things I thought I understood really well I found even more info on! It's been a trip for sure!
Good Video!!! This just makes no sense. My brain is sooo messed up. I can’t imagine ever being or feeling normal. Just too much going on in there. I can actually feel it doing things. I know it sounds bizarre. But, I really feel it.
Neighbor Bob Did you have floaty boaty feeling from Benzo WD? Also, did you have just random thoughts that made no sense. Not scary just really weird. You be thinking about something, next thing you know it’s something else completely unrelated pops into your mind? Love your Videos. Congrats on 1000 !!!!!
Yes I think that floaty feeling goes along with the depersonalization for me anyway. Felt like drifting in a dreamworld sort of. I also had the unrelated thought thing, but it will all pass when you heal.
Hi Andy just observe the thought and do not act on them. They are not who you "really" are. The crazy, sick thoughts will all pass. As soon as your Benzo receptors re-uptake and heal. I had those very same thoughts and am just fine now.
@@andygugu5595 I feel the same, miss my old self. I was living a healthy active social life before presciped a big amount benzo and no warnings after trauma. Third time to try to get off, two times were too quick. Now on Ashton manual. I'm isolated a lot because I tell my hell all the time to my loved ones and feel like I'm in a different reality from other people. Did you ever have feeling your brain doesn't function normally and can't understand a simple thing and normal life? It is one of my worst symptoms. I love to exercise but I can't because of brain lock and dp/dr and agoraphobia. Can't go anymore to store. My partner is waiting me but I can't be with him. Thank you if you can answer if you had any problems with brain function and understanding normal things. All the best.
Thanks Bob. Have been off benzos 22 months. I have rushing thoughts, and I just have to slow it all down consciously. I pray when I drive so I don’t get distracted. Also, my looping song is from American Idol. Jeremiah singing Time After Time by Cindy Lauper. But overall, I’m better than I was a month ago. One day at a time. Blessings to all. Hang in there.
Ah yes those lovely looping songs. Your lucky one of mine was "Don't Worry Be Happy" Try playing that over a Trillion times and your head and see if ya don't feel drain bramaged from that alone! hahahaha! Time after time LOL! That is pretty appropriate for how we wake up daily and live through the Benzo insanity! The Idol theme song is great also. Until it's like 999,000 th time! : )
@@neighborbob3043 3 years off now, literally every symptom is gone other than the looping thoughts. Past two years iv gained 20 pounds of muscle and gotten promoted twice and work, going back to school on three weeks. I have accepted that this will now something I’ll just have to live with, if only people on the outside could read my mind it’s a miracle iv accomplished what I have despite having no control over my thoughts and being barely able to focus.Few weeks ago almost dropped the barbel on myself because the looping thoughts distracted me while I was working out. Oh well that’s what I get for abusing benzos, six years ago.
@@RayRayCrazy the looping thoughts will eventually leave you to in time I'm sure. We always seem to have that one thing that hangs on past all others. For one lady I know it is pelvic floor symptoms.
Been there with all of it. Medical Marijuana: not only does it aid greatly with all of the symptoms; you will sleep, and, best of all...it does no harm!
The knifes the steak knifes,I fear those dam things like I never did before, every time it comes time to use one depending on where my mind is as far as how bad I go through a couple of minutes of hell ,sometimes it will shock me to tears, it's not that I think I will do it cause I'm not angry,but after the vision I feel so guilty so worn out,like a devil is saying I hate the ones you love common hate them too! It makes me love them more I come off to them as more loving because these thoughts make me never want to lose them.
I was CTed off of Paxil and Ativan last May and then after a merry go round of meds, I ended up on Effexor, Librium, Remeron and Seroquel....Im about finish a 5 mo. taper off Effexor and Librium is next....I dont hear much about anyone coming off of Librium since it is an older benzo, the Dr who put me on it in treatment last year told me he did so specifically to taper 10 months off of it....at the time, I thought " to hell w you, I will staynon this as long as it works"....That was June 2018, now, July 2019, I cannot wait to be off of it...I have to finish the Effexor taper( Aug) and the program Im doing this through called Point of Return recommends a month break before taking on the Librium ( 2.5 % reduction per week).... Has anyone had experience w Librium taper?
Yes that is a typical example of a bad intrusive thought and it is terrifying! I have talked to many people dealing with just such thoughts while tapering. Hang in there buddy, it's just your mind screwing with you.
I wish I had known tbis. No one talks about tbis being an antidepressant thing too. It would have saved me. Now I'm going to end it bc of what they did to me
I have seen people get back to 100% that were on high doses of SSRI's and Benzo's it just takes time. It is best not to think of ending anything. If you do, please seek professional help.
Nope was never in the service just missed Vietnam! My 91 year old Dad was a DI in the Marines though. Been wearing my hair this way for like 32 years now, and I cut it all by myself with barber clippers! : )
Congrats To Your Dad Bob: I Think Im Around The Same Age As You And I Have To Say That We Got To Be Raised By An Elite Generation Of Parents: Keep The Vids Coming:
My Neurologist put me on 2 mg's of Klonopin for chronic insomnia from a work related solvent injury. I was on it about thirteen years. From the time I started tapering off it slowly for like eight months. Then it took another year and seven months before I finally healed. That whole 2.2 years I felt horrible until last September 1st or so when I woke up well finally.
I was on that shit for 5 or 6 years abused the shit out of them drank with them. Been off for 5 months had a awesome window for two days at about 3 months. Hope I'm good at a year. Luv luv..
That's great that it works for you. It does well for some and not others. One of my daughters is a distributor for the Hempworx's brand of CBD oil. I plan to try some soon for my remaining insomnia. I'm interested to see if I do like twenty drops under my tongue at bedtime, if it has the calming effect I am looking for.
I’m currently in the last months of my taper. THC and cbd together in an oil have been a godsend. Over the past 11 months, I have not missed a night of sleep even with the suffering.
Truus Hogendoorn My best advice to you would be to find a knowledgeable and compassionate medical marijuana doctor if you can. As far as dosages, everyone is different, and any past experience with marijuana factored greatly in with me. Personally, I’ve found high doses of thc to be immensely helpful, much to the surprise of psychiatrists from whom I turned down a handful of harmful pills. Dosage for me is symptom driven, and a bit of trial and error.
Truus Hogendoorn No problem. Anyone suffering through this needs to stick together, because sometimes it seems it’s all we’ve got. But it can be done. Good luck!
Ty green It was very rough when I got under 1mg about six weeks ago. I’m much better now, and I’m surprisingly symptom free at the moment. I’m currently at .75. I’m getting my strength back during this reprieve.
Hey buddy I have intrusive thoughts 24 7 With head pressure I know its irrational but scary did you have them too 24 7? Am trying to buy nutritional yeast Thank you for your help
@@syntholshoulders1842 Yes I had them 24/7 as well as do many. I changed my mind on nutritional yeast beng an option. It has about the same nutritional profile as MSG and can rev a person up. Feel free to e-mail me at daddyniowa@gmail.com to chat further.
They would have. That is why for almost two and a half years I was a recluse at home suffering in silence. None of my family (except my wife) even knew of the torture I endured.
I love your videos. 💕 you make it seem withdrawl is just a bump in the road.
While lying here thinking im dying . You made me laught😄
CH how are you now?
Alost 3 years clean and I still have damage. Spasms and twitching and shaking in my calves/torso. Pinched nerve pain in my neck and left shoulder blade. I also have feelings of doom and dread. Feelings of hopelessness. Anxiety is not as bad but it's still there. Depersonalization is bad but it has made me see life in a new way. It's hard to explain.
This planet is truly one big torture chamber for all lifeforms. I can just see and feel it more clearly now. I feel like a God who feels all the pain of its creation.
Good video, cheers. 1 year and 7 months to heal is a lucky timefame. Im very happy for you
Hi Lockie, I watched both of your video's. That's great that you put out whatever you can for others to have hope. After thirteen years on Klonopin. I switched over to it's equivalent in Diazapam/Valium being 40 mg's! Then I tapered over four months. So inclusing the time it took for me to wake up healed last Sept 1st. My life was literal hell from Benzo's and Benzo withdrawal for about two years and two months.
Your looking good guy, I'm glad your feelin better................take care mate!
You are so cool! You are full of knowledge, and you give it to us with a microphone! Love it.
Thanks Katie, this gives me something to do in my old age! LOL!
Thanks for your video!
My intrusive thoughts telling me, that I'm worthless and will never have a normal life and that maybe I'm just sick in the head.
It's so messed up, I don't want to have this thoughts. The depersonalisation/derealization is also bad!
At one point for like 21 months my thoughts told me the same thing. Your damaged for life, and never going to get better. I tried to not pay attention to that and stay as positive as possible. I guess it worked as one day I healed overnight from all that hell. So hang in there and never lose hope.
Neighbor Bob hi been watching your videos very good info & thank you so many need a good man to say it’s possible - I don’t know if your a praying man but I believe Jesus touched you that nite you don’t hear or see that often that you where in worst state ever and woke up healed - 💥❣️ I hope your spiritual side was awakened as well - thank you very good ideas I was given 1 1/2 mg per day after husband passed not knowing even what the name was Xanex said what is that she said it will calm you down - I was in early 50’s never took a drug in life ever took dailybon & off -- so skip some yrs and just took whenever i wasn’t doing good - reached tolerance which took along time - knew the ringing was something screaming at me stop -never had tinnitus whole life so instead of taper which didn’t even research st all --I said done that was 30 days ago but prepared nothing on calendar / on purpose - so kinda planned the withdrawal so far not to bad - not comfortable but trying to stay away from horror stories I also read that only 30 to 40% really get all withdrawals -some people don’t ever get them so staying positive that this is just bump in road -lesson learned -- but your vitamin & food info is excellent thank you god bless 💥❣️💥
Great video! Straight to the point. I'm in my 21st month and still slide into that horrible DP zone at least once in a month for about 3-5 days. The intrusive thoughts are pure HELL but I stick to telling myself that it's my brain and NOT me! The looping thoughts/songs is very demanding and persistent at times. Looking forward to finally feeling like myself again. The only thing that does help is weed. I've used CBD Oil also but the THC is a must to help with the anxiety, pain, and deep depressed thoughts. It's also the only thing that helps me sleep and helps my appetite. Nothing else would help so I'll continue with it through this pure hell pile O bullshit! Peace to you Bob and everyone else fighting this brain damage healing!
Thanks Buddy I appreciate it!
@@neighborbob3043 - I'm a bit of a conspiracy theorist myself. It took off quite a bit during the withdrawal, etc, and has been an excellent distraction. One thing is for sure.. Getting off klonopin really woke me up at the same time! I started seeing everything so clearly. Even things I thought I understood really well I found even more info on! It's been a trip for sure!
Good Video!!! This just makes no sense. My brain is sooo messed up. I can’t imagine ever being or feeling normal. Just too much going on in there. I can actually feel it doing things. I know it sounds bizarre. But, I really feel it.
Mine was that way about a year ago also, but it's all fine now so hang in there.
Neighbor Bob
Did you have floaty boaty feeling from Benzo WD? Also, did you have just random thoughts that made no sense. Not scary just really weird. You be thinking about something, next thing you know it’s something else completely unrelated pops into your mind? Love your Videos. Congrats on 1000 !!!!!
Yes I think that floaty feeling goes along with the depersonalization for me anyway. Felt like drifting in a dreamworld sort of. I also had the unrelated thought thing, but it will all pass when you heal.
Neighbor Bob
Love You
Thank You for your reply!!!
I m so scared I m not gonna make it suicidal homicidal thoughts out of nowhere all. The time
Hi Andy just observe the thought and do not act on them. They are not who you "really" are. The crazy, sick thoughts will all pass. As soon as your Benzo receptors re-uptake and heal. I had those very same thoughts and am just fine now.
I hope so Bob I miss my old me caring loving just me carefree and peaceful this scares me so bad
@@andygugu5595 I feel the same, miss my old self. I was living a healthy active social life before presciped a big amount benzo and no warnings after trauma.
Third time to try to get off, two times were too quick. Now on Ashton manual. I'm isolated a lot because I tell my hell all the time to my loved ones and feel like I'm in a different reality from other people. Did you ever have feeling your brain doesn't function normally and can't understand a simple thing and normal life? It is one of my worst symptoms. I love to exercise but I can't because of brain lock and dp/dr and agoraphobia. Can't go anymore to store. My partner is waiting me but I can't be with him.
Thank you if you can answer if you had any problems with brain function and understanding normal things. All the best.
Do you have bad intrusive thoughts too?
Thanks Bob. Have been off benzos 22 months. I have rushing thoughts, and I just have to slow it all down consciously. I pray when I drive so I don’t get distracted. Also, my looping song is from American Idol. Jeremiah singing Time After Time by Cindy Lauper. But overall, I’m better than I was a month ago. One day at a time. Blessings to all. Hang in there.
Ah yes those lovely looping songs. Your lucky one of mine was "Don't Worry Be Happy" Try playing that over a Trillion times and your head and see if ya don't feel drain bramaged from that alone! hahahaha!
Time after time LOL! That is pretty appropriate for how we wake up daily and live through the Benzo insanity! The Idol theme song is great also. Until it's like 999,000 th time! : )
@@neighborbob3043 3 years off now, literally every symptom is gone other than the looping thoughts. Past two years iv gained 20 pounds of muscle and gotten promoted twice and work, going back to school on three weeks. I have accepted that this will now something I’ll just have to live with, if only people on the outside could read my mind it’s a miracle iv accomplished what I have despite having no control over my thoughts and being barely able to focus.Few weeks ago almost dropped the barbel on myself because the looping thoughts distracted me while I was working out. Oh well that’s what I get for abusing benzos, six years ago.
@@RayRayCrazy the looping thoughts will eventually leave you to in time I'm sure. We always seem to have that one thing that hangs on past all others. For one lady I know it is pelvic floor symptoms.
@@neighborbob3043did you feel low energy sym please answer
Been there with all of it. Medical Marijuana: not only does it aid greatly with all of the symptoms; you will sleep, and, best of all...it does no harm!
Like the high n tight ! =]
you seem like a good ol boy! your video is so right on target. bless ya!!
The knifes the steak knifes,I fear those dam things like I never did before, every time it comes time to use one depending on where my mind is as far as how bad I go through a couple of minutes of hell ,sometimes it will shock me to tears, it's not that I think I will do it cause I'm not angry,but after the vision I feel so guilty so worn out,like a devil is saying I hate the ones you love common hate them too! It makes me love them more I come off to them as more loving because these thoughts make me never want to lose them.
I know a young lady out West that struggles with knives as well Charles. You will get over it Bro in time.
I was CTed off of Paxil and Ativan last May and then after a merry go round of meds, I ended up on Effexor, Librium, Remeron and Seroquel....Im about finish a 5 mo. taper off Effexor and Librium is next....I dont hear much about anyone coming off of Librium since it is an older benzo, the Dr who put me on it in treatment last year told me he did so specifically to taper 10 months off of it....at the time, I thought " to hell w you, I will staynon this as long as it works"....That was June 2018, now, July 2019, I cannot wait to be off of it...I have to finish the Effexor taper( Aug) and the program Im doing this through called Point of Return recommends a month break before taking on the Librium ( 2.5 % reduction per week)....
Has anyone had experience w Librium taper?
I have thoughts of damn what if I lose it and jump off this balcony and it scares the crap out of me.. is that normal? Currently tapering
Yes that is a typical example of a bad intrusive thought and it is terrifying! I have talked to many people dealing with just such thoughts while tapering. Hang in there buddy, it's just your mind screwing with you.
Thank you.
Hey Bob I Like Your Flattop Hair Cut. Where You Ever A Drill Instructor????
It's definitely more hygienic, I like to grow my hair long, well, until I moved to a high humidity area.
Thank you for these!
Your very welcome Summer take care!
You are TOUGH!!
I wish I had known tbis. No one talks about tbis being an antidepressant thing too. It would have saved me. Now I'm going to end it bc of what they did to me
I have seen people get back to 100% that were on high doses of SSRI's and Benzo's it just takes time. It is best not to think of ending anything. If you do, please seek professional help.
@@neighborbob3043 professional help is what did this to me. Thanks
Nope was never in the service just missed Vietnam! My 91 year old Dad was a DI in the Marines though. Been wearing my hair this way for like 32 years now, and I cut it all by myself with barber clippers! : )
Congrats To Your Dad Bob: I Think Im Around The Same Age As You And I Have To Say That We Got To Be Raised By An Elite Generation Of Parents: Keep The Vids Coming:
How long were you on that shit and how long did it take to feel better?
My Neurologist put me on 2 mg's of Klonopin for chronic insomnia from a work related solvent injury. I was on it about thirteen years. From the time I started tapering off it slowly for like eight months. Then it took another year and seven months before I finally healed. That whole 2.2 years I felt horrible until last September 1st or so when I woke up well finally.
Cool cool thanks bro
I was on that shit for 5 or 6 years abused the shit out of them drank with them. Been off for 5 months had a awesome window for two days at about 3 months. Hope I'm good at a year. Luv luv..
Cbd oil tried it today it's amazing
That's great that it works for you. It does well for some and not others. One of my daughters is a distributor for the Hempworx's brand of CBD oil. I plan to try some soon for my remaining insomnia. I'm interested to see if I do like twenty drops under my tongue at bedtime, if it has the calming effect I am looking for.
I’m currently in the last months of my taper. THC and cbd together in an oil have been a godsend. Over the past 11 months, I have not missed a night of sleep even with the suffering.
Truus Hogendoorn My best advice to you would be to find a knowledgeable and compassionate medical marijuana doctor if you can. As far as dosages, everyone is different, and any past experience with marijuana factored greatly in with me. Personally, I’ve found high doses of thc to be immensely helpful, much to the surprise of psychiatrists from whom I turned down a handful of harmful pills. Dosage for me
is symptom driven, and a bit of trial and error.
Truus Hogendoorn No problem. Anyone suffering through this needs to stick together, because sometimes it seems it’s all we’ve got. But it can be done. Good luck!
Hello everyone question? Is it a bad idea to take gabapentin while going through this hell? Iv been off for 5 months??
Jake Defa bad bad idea, gabapentin is benzo off by one molecule or so, so that it flies under the radar. It will make symptoms worse.
@@caroleclark9786 how are you now,?
Ty green It was very rough when I got under 1mg about six weeks ago. I’m much better now, and I’m surprisingly symptom free at the moment. I’m currently at .75. I’m getting my strength back during this reprieve.
Great, my psychiatrist prescribed me 4x 300mg Gabapentin for my withdrawal...
Anybody
Takeing remeron
And klonopin
And tapering off klonopin
0.5 at night
0.25 in the morning
I'm at 16 months then it started it's fading but yes extremely scary
That it is!
@@neighborbob3043 do we ever fully recover ? Or we screwed ?
@@_blew_a_fuse_7372 I and many others have went on to fully heal. If you do not give up you will join us in time I am sure.
Did you have head pressure?
Yes I did, as do most people. It is a pretty common symptom.
Hey buddy I have intrusive thoughts 24 7
With head pressure I know its irrational but scary did you have them too 24 7?
Am trying to buy nutritional yeast
Thank you for your help
@@syntholshoulders1842 Yes I had them 24/7 as well as do many. I changed my mind on nutritional yeast beng an option. It has about the same nutritional profile as MSG and can rev a person up. Feel free to e-mail me at daddyniowa@gmail.com to chat further.
I sent you an email
@@syntholshoulders1842 I just e-mailed you back with some info.
Man your funny
Did your kids notice you weren’t ok when you visited them?
They would have. That is why for almost two and a half years I was a recluse at home suffering in silence. None of my family (except my wife) even knew of the torture I endured.