Yes, I feel I have to at work all the time. Just silly things like watching how I say something, not fiddling in meetings, not butting in and then forgetting everything I tonight, remembering it two weeks later and realising it would have really helped. Your videos really do resonate with me and you are so personable. Thank you!
Thank you for your message, that means a lot to me, thank you so much for supporting me and the channel. I really love doing this, it is lets me research, hyper focus on thinking and then monologue all in one go haha.
I was fortunate and was never forced to mask by my parents when i was younger. Early school years teachers and counselors though did try to encourage me to mask certain behaviors. Stimming primarly. I vaquely remeber father telling teachers during parent teacher conferences when they would tell him my stimming(mostly touching thumb to each fingertip and rocking) was distracting other students and he should teach me not to do that. He would straight up tell them no iam not gonna do that. Iam also gay and came out when i was 13 or so and parents didnt say much about it and just kinda saif ok with no real further discussion. I honestly was more bullied due to autism than being gay. Many incidents of mate crime.
I was fortunate with my mum, she was great (mainly because I really think she is neurodivergent and just doesn't see a reason to take it further at nearly 60 years old and I respect that), my dad was not very present in any element of mine or my mums life and that suited me really. I have definitely been bullied more and much more to my detriment for being autistic as I always had the question of why...I was always safe at home and that is where I wanted to be. I do that stim! I love the feeling of fingers and thumbs against each other while rocking - the sensation is just something else. School can be abhorrent, the need to fit in seems to outweigh any need to actual learn anything, the amount of arguments my mum had with teachers over the years and it was all about me changing my behaviour to fit in with people and if I did not, I would struggle through life - when in fact, no, had I been myself, I would have found my people AND been ok with being me when I did. I am sure you feel the same from what you have said but I am glad I had the home life I did because In did feel safe, my masking to my family wasn't about my family, it was about the wider implications it had on me outside of the home.
This really hit me hard. Ive thought this for years. I'm bi and went through the fanily CT, sent away and everything and it is the same, completly the same but is acceptable to ssy we should change the way we are for society, so glad that you have said it!
That makes me so sad to know that you went through that - I hope you are as ok as you can be after that! It worries me but I know we can change it, it is just going to take work and persistence unfortunately :(
Totally agree. Why do we see other forms of forced change as intrinsically bad (for most of us) but when it comes to neurodivergent people, not the same. The damage is profound and long lasting and totally unsupported!
The thing that scares me is that it is almost invisible unless you look for it, often even to us, I would have spent my life unaware and forcing myself to be what I needed to be to be mildly acceptable (or my perception of that) to the world. It is definitely not supported, we have very little help from anyone, pity maybe, support, not so much.
The fact that so much is not fully accessible for us is very much hidden, even from us ourselves. Ive definitely been 'disciplined' for being neurodivergent in the past.
My heart felt this, for me and my daughter. We are both neurodivergent, one autistic, one ADHD, the masking is very much there even when we speak to each other but we dont m3an to. The world cruel but we are not
Have ever felt forced to mask by others around you?
Yes, I feel I have to at work all the time. Just silly things like watching how I say something, not fiddling in meetings, not butting in and then forgetting everything I tonight, remembering it two weeks later and realising it would have really helped.
Your videos really do resonate with me and you are so personable. Thank you!
Thank you for your message, that means a lot to me, thank you so much for supporting me and the channel. I really love doing this, it is lets me research, hyper focus on thinking and then monologue all in one go haha.
I was fortunate and was never forced to mask by my parents when i was younger. Early school years teachers and counselors though did try to encourage me to mask certain behaviors.
Stimming primarly. I vaquely remeber father telling teachers during parent teacher conferences when they would tell him my stimming(mostly touching thumb to each fingertip and rocking) was distracting other students and he should teach me not to do that. He would straight up tell them no iam not gonna do that. Iam also gay and came out when i was 13 or so and parents didnt say much about it and just kinda saif ok with no real further discussion. I honestly was more bullied due to autism than being gay. Many incidents of mate crime.
I was fortunate with my mum, she was great (mainly because I really think she is neurodivergent and just doesn't see a reason to take it further at nearly 60 years old and I respect that), my dad was not very present in any element of mine or my mums life and that suited me really. I have definitely been bullied more and much more to my detriment for being autistic as I always had the question of why...I was always safe at home and that is where I wanted to be.
I do that stim! I love the feeling of fingers and thumbs against each other while rocking - the sensation is just something else.
School can be abhorrent, the need to fit in seems to outweigh any need to actual learn anything, the amount of arguments my mum had with teachers over the years and it was all about me changing my behaviour to fit in with people and if I did not, I would struggle through life - when in fact, no, had I been myself, I would have found my people AND been ok with being me when I did.
I am sure you feel the same from what you have said but I am glad I had the home life I did because In did feel safe, my masking to my family wasn't about my family, it was about the wider implications it had on me outside of the home.
Yep, last 20 years of my career, only just realising what damage that has done to me
As a gay, trans, neurodivergent man, thank you for calling this bullshit out!
This has definitely been my life in so many ways
This is so true. Forcing people to mask is defintely an abusive act in my view and is just if not more detrimental as any other conversion therapy.
Really interesting to think about it like this, not sure what we do about it though 😢
This really hit me hard. Ive thought this for years. I'm bi and went through the fanily CT, sent away and everything and it is the same, completly the same but is acceptable to ssy we should change the way we are for society, so glad that you have said it!
That makes me so sad to know that you went through that - I hope you are as ok as you can be after that!
It worries me but I know we can change it, it is just going to take work and persistence unfortunately :(
Totally agree. Why do we see other forms of forced change as intrinsically bad (for most of us) but when it comes to neurodivergent people, not the same. The damage is profound and long lasting and totally unsupported!
The thing that scares me is that it is almost invisible unless you look for it, often even to us, I would have spent my life unaware and forcing myself to be what I needed to be to be mildly acceptable (or my perception of that) to the world. It is definitely not supported, we have very little help from anyone, pity maybe, support, not so much.
The fact that so much is not fully accessible for us is very much hidden, even from us ourselves. Ive definitely been 'disciplined' for being neurodivergent in the past.
Me too, I have lost jobs (never been fired but left) because answering something was so much harder than staying :(
My heart felt this, for me and my daughter. We are both neurodivergent, one autistic, one ADHD, the masking is very much there even when we speak to each other but we dont m3an to. The world cruel but we are not
Generational conditions are complicated, the getting each other but being so opposed is hard :(
@OneAutisticPerson it is but it's worth it 😂
Super deep video; loved this!
Thank you :) I'm glad you liked it