It bruises their ego. If someone hates them, it must mean something is wrong with them, and their inflated ego only allows them to believe that they are they are perfect.
Oh trust me it’s inside them, it’s not nothing, that’s another mask, they are dying inside and so much so that they try to find anything to lift them out or they will curl up and die. They must feel more than sheer unworthiness, So they find somone that might see something valuable and they too fall for the mask. Somehow this makes them feel Like they are worthy of living. When the lose a relationship whether by their discard for feeling unworthy of meeting the needs of the other good mate or the good mate leaves them. Their result internally is the same. To survive their self loathing for being a failure they must move on to validate that they have something good in themself. That’s how I see them
Definitely agree with you. I don't hate my ex. Reality is that I don't know her enough to hate her. We were married for 20 years but that's not who she actually is and I don't know if who she actually is now is who she actually is. So there's not really someone to hate. I don't like the stuff she does and continues to do and I think it's weird that she expects me to get to know the new her after all the stuff she's done. Clean slate and all that because the Affairs and all the hurtful things were just chasing dopamine
@@edvails1539 I can only write - she wasn´t the person she showed you in the beginning (sadly she wasn´t). She was the person she presented in the end.
My ex after we split called me and asked "Why can't we be friends?" I answered, "Because you abused me for years." She had her cell phone on speaker phone and a room full of her "friends" all heard my reply. She then gave the most insincere, flippant apology, "I'm sorry." It wasn't long after that that I went no contact and never contacted her again and blocked on all accounts. I hated her, I hated her so intensely that I couldn't sleep. It was making me sick. I had to heal and I felt if I didn't heal, the hatred would kill me. I healed and I no longer hate her, but she will never be my friend and she never was my friend.
Thank you so much for doing what you do! I was discarded by a narcissistic married couple after a 2 1/2 year poly relationship. I’m working on healing… yes, they tried to remain friends after the 2nd discard. I said no, so they ghosted me and left me with no closure. This was actually very twisted because I could see how they worked together to do this. I am going to write a book.
This was eye opening. I always wondered why he said that to me but this really shone a light. Ty for making this clear - "Theyre asking you to not hate them because it benefits them, not you."
Some of them are clever at creating illusions of love or even like when they are alone with you. Others wait until there's an audience to really show up and show out to perform the largest buffonery show on the planet just to make you feel insignificant. I am at a health risk and I rather be hated because I want to protect my children from being harmed in this saga of selfishness. I have seen this cycle endure for YEARS and those who support the main narc treat it like a rite of passage which to them is "normal".THANKS 4 SHARING BRO enjoy your day!
My narcissistic ex-wife committed adultery. When i told the dude she committed adultery with thank you for letting me see how dirty she is. She dropped the bogus restraining order. In the fake restraining order, she mentioned her reputation. I call it bogus because i never hit her and called her out of her name or threatened to. I just found out what she did packed my things and left with no contact other than letting her know i moved out
It's not a hate; it's the Revelation of how badly they treated you. While as empaths we continue to care. Keep receipts they'll leave you ALONE. I sent my ex narc all the cash app receipts ( Compliance Specialist) and texts with him name calling and he finally 👻
Lee, every narc IS the same. They have the exact same motivation. Occasionally they express it in different ways. Even then, there is a limit on the different ways they express their narcissism.
My ex husband (still in horrible divorce) always does this when I’m upset about something and calling him out. “Please can we go back to how we were a few days ago when you were nice to me”.
This is how my ex was. He died suddenly last week (he was only 43) and the complicated feelings I feel despite not having spoken to him in over a year are overwhelming to say the least. It's like I'm being retraumatized all over again. 😞
Listen to me!!! My narcissist husband today hurt me on the level that I told myself: "When I can finally separate from him for what he did to me today, if he gets cancer and cries and begs, I won't come back!!! I won't!" I swore to God and promised it to myself... and believe me I'm the Kindest and most emotional person I've ever met!!! Please PLEASE PLEASE DON'T BE SAD! you did what you had to do!!! Don't think about the good times! Think about how many times he hurt you for no reason!!!
@@MISSSUPERNOVA- wishing you safety until you can find a way out and a whole lot of healing and inner peace once you are free. Thank you for your kind words of support... Only people who have walked in our shoes understand the depths of the pain and trauma we are left to heal after we escape the abuse. Hope you find your way to freedom, kind lady. You are worth it 💛
I'm indifferent twords him. Every time I think about him I remember all the horrible things that he did to me 😢. Don't feel guilty. Your feelings are valid!
I hate him, and I love him...but I all time remeber what cruel thinks he did with me, so I in my way ... and i survive! Thanks abaut your canal, but all what i hear her is what I resive...
Omg my ex fiancée kept saying this like she kept repeating herself in the voice-mail when she found out I had blocked her and then calls me by private number. Tried to sound like she was crying. I still experience traumatic episodes. It's been only almost 5 months since I called it quits.
I don´t. I don´t hate people - I hate the behaviour and bad character. But you know narcissists have a disorder - I pity them because they will never know what love is.
Wow! Your information is so eye opening and helpful. I was thinking he was finally having a sincere emotion. This is crazy. Wow. So bascically they are selfish and everything is all about them!
Never had an amicable break w a Cluster B. You are so right, Lee. I guess I've never even considered the idea that amical break-ups really were possible. wow. How does that work? I'm serious for real, wow, new stuff to add that adds wholeness to what is available for best action on choices we can make, better prepared, I have an ex-husband and NM who figured out the best way to ruin mylife was to make me hate them bc they hate how I love and live . Healing from experiencing irl that special degree of suffering a stragegized mental haywiring attacks malfunction that breaaks down, de-alchemizes mental Quantum with confusing gaslighting changing reality on demand, breaking rules and agreements with promises that they initiate and force you to agree with. Then they pull the rug out from under you by breaaking their own rule and attacking you in an ambuse by lies and trickery only ito watch your face and they project and gloat that I am feeling stupid for believing their integrity to the rules they set up show, they project that i am thinking how smart they are and brave to be willing to go to this extent to make their power reside in expanding ruthlessness with another's peace of mind and replaceing it with hate. It's like being Hog tied. Hog tied has no positive conotations and hey there's never been an amicible hog tieing, there's screaming and kicking out of control with anger at the trickery, you haven't done anything to deserve it and you were in the midde of doing something worthwhile. Asking isn't the same as getting me to agree to not tic tok tf out of that one, if it would do any good. It won't. Living well is the best revenge especially when that's not the motive of me living well.
Lee, I got a question or two for you. Why would a narc spend thousands of $s on engagement ring, go on a vacation to find place to move to together and tell friends/family/coworkers(a select few) that he wants to marry that person but be cheating the whole time? The second discard was just as you said. We have been broken up for 2 months now. I've been moved out for 1 of those months. That last month.....my God did Mr. Hyde come out. He couldn't treat me horribly enough. I know it's crazy but I just want to know why. He and I have been NC. My friend accidentally matched with him on Bumble, another got a friend request on FB. Neither had yet been told we had broken up. The thing about the FB things is, he deleted it half a year ago. Ok, so he reactivated it. Why take down all your photos and posts? Why delete all friends but 10 and then only add women? And lastly, why am I the only ex he's blocked?
Yes, last time we saw each other (briefly), he said that hopefully there would be no animosity between us...he later called (intoxicated), and said that we should get married. After that, he disappeared, and resurfaced like if nothing..started with the profanity again....then wonders why we can't be friends.
Me: Calls them out for their behavior. Them: “I can’t have anyone in my life who thinks of me like that.” Me: “Then maybe you shouldn’t do these things.” Them: *Blocked*
My son Raged at me over nothing! I cried and he laughed at me asking me why am I crying! I said I want you to keep laughing cause it be the last time you will ever laugh at me! He stopped laughing. I’m now No contact and I don’t even care anymore! No more mommy Supply for you!
He said please don't be angry with him and he doesn't want me to hate him... which is complete absurdity after what he did to me. There is no way anyone could find out they'd been told that lie and then not be angry with him.
I distinctly remember a fight between my ex and I, i cant remember if we were still dating or if we were in the broken up but "lets try to stay friends" stage... But he was crying asking "Am I a villian in your head? Please, I dont want to be the villian." In what seemed to be a genuine and rare glimpse into his true shame and insecurity. At the time, I reassured him that no, he wasnt. Years later, after our friendship imploded and we've since gone no contact, I woke up screaming from a nightmare about him. (One of several nightmares i continued to have after our end). I emailed him to let him know that yes, he was, in fact, the villian in my head. It was carthartic af. He never/hasnt responded and I didnt need him to. I just needed to finally be honest with him. And to be clear, I dont hate him. But he *is* a villian in my story.
Lee, my brother is getting seperated from his wife (long story). He is 63 y.o. no kids, but still wants to be on the good terms with ex in- laws. He wanted to make sure no one was angry at him..I read it as a future supply cause they have$$. I got a text from him for me to be on good terms with ex SIL,"since it would help him".I texted back that none of this concerns me and leave me out of it.😆
Yup. My ex wife after physical abuse and cheating. "Why are you mad?" "Why do you hate me?" "We can still be friends." "Maybe we'll be together in the future." Etc.
I don't hate my ex. I hate that he thinks nothing is wrong with him. As if his ways are okay & you should deal with it b/c what he does for you. It's so dumb😂 but I could care less now. That's the Lord's battle, not mine.
lee, can you do a video on narcissists trying to hack into your social media accounts after no contact? two narcissists that were toxic to me my whole life tried to hack into my accounts, and one was successful.
My ex husband said please don’t hate me. I asked him, how can I hate someone unimportant as you? Which I meant as a petty thing to say... ( I meant it tho) But he bursted out in tears. He cried so loud with his mouth wide open. In that moment i realised he wanted me to hate him to strike his ego. And it was extremely unattractive
My ex keeps begging me to forgive him, to stop being so difficult and how I'm "not working with him coparenting" (we all know he is literally lying) and im indifferent at this point. Been moved on, just had a baby with my new partner ect. My ex sound/looks insane to ppl who know what hes really doing.
I don’t him anymore he’s just a non factor I don’t even care no more. We sometimes spend days together because of our child and I feel nothing for this fool. I look at him like how the hell did I even be with this person. He’s not my type at all, in any way it’s almost funny . I want him to date cause baby don’t come around here
The best advice for dating a narcissist I can give: DETACH AND PRAY 🙏 FOR THEM. If they are the right ✅️ person God wants you to marry, they will come around 😊🎉😂
@MentalHealness Lee we are all on a spectrum. Moderate men on a spectrum with teachable spirit there is some hope 🙏 for them. You yourself is a recovered narcissist should know that 😉
Just remember this, They do not care what they did to you, They only care if people know what they did to you.
😂😂 so true they really don’t like it when other people know. They go into denial and accuse when all else fails.
Even more than hatred, they hate indifference. Hatred requires passion. You can't hate what you dismiss as nothing.
They can tell when you reach 100% indifference, that's when they pop back up. They can fk off
Ohbyea give it to me baby huh huh
This !!
You don't never have to expose a narcissist,They will expose themselves🎯
🤭
Some day yes... True colours always come ... (It´s only a question of time).
@@donnadaniels5095 like a take in "Mission Impossible"🤣🤣🤣
It bruises their ego. If someone hates them, it must mean something is wrong with them, and their inflated ego only allows them to believe that they are they are perfect.
it does
Shame, shame, shame. Shame the Fool 😂😂😂
I don't hate him... But I do hate how he treated me and he moves on like it's nothing
have to protect your peace
@MentalHealness yessir 💯🙏🏾
Oh trust me it’s inside them, it’s not nothing, that’s another mask, they are dying inside and so much so that they try to find anything to lift them out or they will curl up and die. They must feel more than sheer unworthiness,
So they find somone that might see something valuable and they too fall for the mask. Somehow this makes them feel
Like they are worthy of living. When the lose a relationship whether by their discard for feeling unworthy of meeting the needs of the other good mate or the good mate leaves them. Their result internally is the same. To survive their self loathing for being a failure they must move on to validate that they have something good in themself. That’s how I see them
Definitely agree with you. I don't hate my ex. Reality is that I don't know her enough to hate her. We were married for 20 years but that's not who she actually is and I don't know if who she actually is now is who she actually is. So there's not really someone to hate. I don't like the stuff she does and continues to do and I think it's weird that she expects me to get to know the new her after all the stuff she's done. Clean slate and all that because the Affairs and all the hurtful things were just chasing dopamine
@@edvails1539 I can only write - she wasn´t the person she showed you in the beginning (sadly she wasn´t). She was the person she presented in the end.
My ex after we split called me and asked "Why can't we be friends?" I answered, "Because you abused me for years." She had her cell phone on speaker phone and a room full of her "friends" all heard my reply. She then gave the most insincere, flippant apology, "I'm sorry." It wasn't long after that that I went no contact and never contacted her again and blocked on all accounts.
I hated her, I hated her so intensely that I couldn't sleep. It was making me sick. I had to heal and I felt if I didn't heal, the hatred would kill me. I healed and I no longer hate her, but she will never be my friend and she never was my friend.
You can´t be friends with someone you can´t trust. At least I can´t.
If they are truly a narcissist there is no such thing as an amicable breakup.
😢
Never
Had an argument almost 5 months ago, hung the phone up in his ear and not a peep from him since!🥰
Stay safe
@@MentalHealness Thank you Lee! And I will☺
Thank you so much for doing what you do! I was discarded by a narcissistic married couple after a 2 1/2 year poly relationship. I’m working on healing… yes, they tried to remain friends after the 2nd discard. I said no, so they ghosted me and left me with no closure. This was actually very twisted because I could see how they worked together to do this. I am going to write a book.
This was eye opening. I always wondered why he said that to me but this really shone a light. Ty for making this clear - "Theyre asking you to not hate them because it benefits them, not you."
Some of them are clever at creating illusions of love or even like when they are alone with you. Others wait until there's an audience to really show up and show out to perform the largest buffonery show on the planet just to make you feel insignificant. I am at a health risk and I rather be hated because I want to protect my children from being harmed in this saga of selfishness. I have seen this cycle endure for YEARS and those who support the main narc treat it like a rite of passage which to them is "normal".THANKS 4 SHARING BRO enjoy your day!
Proverbs 24:17-18 KJV
Romans 12:19 KJV ❤
My narcissistic ex-wife committed adultery. When i told the dude she committed adultery with thank you for letting me see how dirty she is. She dropped the bogus restraining order. In the fake restraining order, she mentioned her reputation. I call it bogus because i never hit her and called her out of her name or threatened to. I just found out what she did packed my things and left with no contact other than letting her know i moved out
True 100 %. It is hard not to forget they way they treated u.Thanks for sharing.
It's not a hate; it's the Revelation of how badly they treated you. While as empaths we continue to care. Keep receipts they'll leave you ALONE. I sent my ex narc all the cash app receipts ( Compliance Specialist) and texts with him name calling and he finally 👻
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🤣🤣🤣 *receipts and ghosting*
@@TrueBeautyD peace, serenity, tranquility 🤣🤣🤣
Lee, every narc IS the same. They have the exact same motivation. Occasionally they express it in different ways. Even then, there is a limit on the different ways they express their narcissism.
My ex husband (still in horrible divorce) always does this when I’m upset about something and calling him out. “Please can we go back to how we were a few days ago when you were nice to me”.
🙏🏽🙏🏽 stay strong
This is how my ex was. He died suddenly last week (he was only 43) and the complicated feelings I feel despite not having spoken to him in over a year are overwhelming to say the least. It's like I'm being retraumatized all over again. 😞
That’s so tough.
It really is. It's like I'm having to grieve all of the versions of him I lost.
Listen to me!!! My narcissist husband today hurt me on the level that I told myself: "When I can finally separate from him for what he did to me today, if he gets cancer and cries and begs, I won't come back!!! I won't!" I swore to God and promised it to myself... and believe me I'm the Kindest and most emotional person I've ever met!!! Please PLEASE PLEASE DON'T BE SAD! you did what you had to do!!! Don't think about the good times! Think about how many times he hurt you for no reason!!!
@@MISSSUPERNOVA- wishing you safety until you can find a way out and a whole lot of healing and inner peace once you are free.
Thank you for your kind words of support...
Only people who have walked in our shoes understand the depths of the pain and trauma we are left to heal after we escape the abuse.
Hope you find your way to freedom, kind lady. You are worth it 💛
I'm indifferent twords him. Every time I think about him I remember all the horrible things that he did to me 😢. Don't feel guilty. Your feelings are valid!
I hate him, and I love him...but I all time remeber what cruel thinks he did with me, so I in my way ... and i survive! Thanks abaut your canal, but all what i hear her is what I resive...
Omg my ex fiancée kept saying this like she kept repeating herself in the voice-mail when she found out I had blocked her and then calls me by private number. Tried to sound like she was crying. I still experience traumatic episodes. It's been only almost 5 months since I called it quits.
He'd say "Maybe one day you won't hate me"
I Don't Hate Someone, All I Want Is For Him To Heal And Change For A Better Version Of Himself! 🙌✌🤟💪✊🌸🌸🕊🕊⚡🙏
I don´t. I don´t hate people - I hate the behaviour and bad character. But you know narcissists have a disorder - I pity them because they will never know what love is.
I’m Thankful that segment of My Life is in the past
Praise God & Jesus Christ 🙏🏾 ☮️
Wow! Your information is so eye opening and helpful. I was thinking he was finally having a sincere emotion. This is crazy. Wow. So bascically they are selfish and everything is all about them!
Thank you so much for this!!
You're so welcome!
> 4:00 working through hate
Never had an amicable break w a Cluster B. You are so right, Lee. I guess I've never even considered the idea that amical break-ups really were possible. wow. How does that work? I'm serious for real, wow, new stuff to add that adds wholeness to what is available for best action on choices we can make, better prepared, I have an ex-husband and NM who figured out the best way to ruin mylife was to make me hate them bc they hate how I love and live .
Healing from experiencing irl that special degree of suffering a stragegized mental haywiring attacks malfunction that breaaks down, de-alchemizes mental Quantum with confusing gaslighting changing reality on demand, breaking rules and agreements with promises that they initiate and force you to agree with. Then they pull the rug out from under you by breaaking their own rule and attacking you in an ambuse by lies and trickery only ito watch your face and they project and gloat that I am feeling stupid for believing their integrity to the rules they set up show, they project that i am thinking how smart they are and brave to be willing to go to this extent to make their power reside in expanding ruthlessness with another's peace of mind and replaceing it with hate. It's like being Hog tied. Hog tied has no positive conotations and hey there's never been an amicible hog tieing, there's screaming and kicking out of control with anger at the trickery, you haven't done anything to deserve it and you were in the midde of doing something worthwhile.
Asking isn't the same as getting me to agree to not tic tok tf out of that one, if it would do any good. It won't.
Living well is the best revenge especially when that's not the motive of me living well.
Lee, I got a question or two for you. Why would a narc spend thousands of $s on engagement ring, go on a vacation to find place to move to together and tell friends/family/coworkers(a select few) that he wants to marry that person but be cheating the whole time? The second discard was just as you said. We have been broken up for 2 months now. I've been moved out for 1 of those months. That last month.....my God did Mr. Hyde come out. He couldn't treat me horribly enough. I know it's crazy but I just want to know why. He and I have been NC. My friend accidentally matched with him on Bumble, another got a friend request on FB. Neither had yet been told we had broken up. The thing about the FB things is, he deleted it half a year ago. Ok, so he reactivated it. Why take down all your photos and posts? Why delete all friends but 10 and then only add women? And lastly, why am I the only ex he's blocked?
Very insightful and helpful
Glad it was helpful!
Yes, last time we saw each other (briefly), he said that hopefully there would be no animosity between us...he later called (intoxicated), and said that we should get married. After that, he disappeared, and resurfaced like if nothing..started with the profanity again....then wonders why we can't be friends.
💯😢
Me: Calls them out for their behavior.
Them: “I can’t have anyone in my life who thinks of me like that.”
Me: “Then maybe you shouldn’t do these things.”
Them: *Blocked*
‼️‼️
My son Raged at me over nothing! I cried and he laughed at me asking me why am I crying! I said I want you to keep laughing cause it be the last time you will ever laugh at me!
He stopped laughing.
I’m now No contact and I don’t even care anymore! No more mommy Supply for you!
He said please don't be angry with him and he doesn't want me to hate him... which is complete absurdity after what he did to me. There is no way anyone could find out they'd been told that lie and then not be angry with him.
I distinctly remember a fight between my ex and I, i cant remember if we were still dating or if we were in the broken up but "lets try to stay friends" stage... But he was crying asking "Am I a villian in your head? Please, I dont want to be the villian." In what seemed to be a genuine and rare glimpse into his true shame and insecurity. At the time, I reassured him that no, he wasnt.
Years later, after our friendship imploded and we've since gone no contact, I woke up screaming from a nightmare about him. (One of several nightmares i continued to have after our end). I emailed him to let him know that yes, he was, in fact, the villian in my head. It was carthartic af. He never/hasnt responded and I didnt need him to. I just needed to finally be honest with him.
And to be clear, I dont hate him. But he *is* a villian in my story.
‼️‼️ stay strong
@@MentalHealness You and your blunt honesty have DEFINITELY been a huge part of my healing journey. So thank you ❤
Lee, my brother is getting seperated from his wife (long story). He is 63 y.o. no kids, but still wants to be on the good terms with ex in- laws. He wanted to make sure no one was angry at him..I read it as a future supply cause they have$$. I got a text from him for me to be on good terms with ex SIL,"since it would help him".I texted back that none of this concerns me and leave me out of it.😆
Why do they try to stay young? For example, keeping old clothes from their 20s that don't fit and try to squeeze in them.
That Katt Wms quote is 🎯
💯
I hate him like I love him...
Yup. My ex wife after physical abuse and cheating. "Why are you mad?" "Why do you hate me?" "We can still be friends." "Maybe we'll be together in the future." Etc.
💯
I don't hate my ex. I hate that he thinks nothing is wrong with him. As if his ways are okay & you should deal with it b/c what he does for you. It's so dumb😂 but I could care less now. That's the Lord's battle, not mine.
lee, can you do a video on narcissists trying to hack into your social media accounts after no contact? two narcissists that were toxic to me my whole life tried to hack into my accounts, and one was successful.
I hate his guts. I'm in therapy, not healed. It is what it is.
My ex husband said please don’t hate me.
I asked him, how can I hate someone unimportant as you? Which I meant as a petty thing to say... ( I meant it tho) But he bursted out in tears. He cried so loud with his mouth wide open. In that moment i realised he wanted me to hate him to strike his ego. And it was extremely unattractive
😮💨😮💨
I figured it out, after watching Lee's videos. I made an exit plan and got away!
My ex keeps begging me to forgive him, to stop being so difficult and how I'm "not working with him coparenting" (we all know he is literally lying) and im indifferent at this point. Been moved on, just had a baby with my new partner ect. My ex sound/looks insane to ppl who know what hes really doing.
I definitely want vengeance tired of being kind and taking the high road
I don’t him anymore he’s just a non factor I don’t even care no more. We sometimes spend days together because of our child and I feel nothing for this fool. I look at him like how the hell did I even be with this person. He’s not my type at all, in any way it’s almost funny . I want him to date cause baby don’t come around here
I would rather feel hatred towards him than this suffocating heartache 💔😢 When will I finally hate him? 😞
Perhaps when acceptance of the lies, deceptions, mirroring of you, hits. And, it hits hard.
NO CONTACT. LIFETIME.
@Itzanunnya2019 🙏🏻😞
Ohh hate me cuz i need it lmao 😂
Or they say please don’t forget about me after you done cut them off..
🎯
No I never hate narcissist, I just pray for them because they had to endure this type of trauma as a child🙏🏽 But NO contact😂
🙏🏽
My ex told me that! Don't tell people what I did to you. 😢
💯💯💯💣indeed
Seldomly happens.
‼️
💯💯💯
Hey lee
Heeey
Nope
🙂↔️
The best advice for dating a narcissist I can give: DETACH AND PRAY 🙏 FOR THEM. If they are the right ✅️ person God wants you to marry, they will come around 😊🎉😂
Protect your peace
@MentalHealness Lee we are all on a spectrum. Moderate men on a spectrum with teachable spirit there is some hope 🙏 for them. You yourself is a recovered narcissist should know that 😉
Hahahaha