Yep then Jake will dump her like a bag of bricks because she isn’t that exciting to chase anymore. She will come back to OP moping how bad Jake is and how could she not see the signs. Glad OP dumped her and once he finds a girl that shows him the respect and love he deserves I hope the ex watches from the sideline and seethes at how stupid she was.
Yeah not wanting your girlfriend to travel across the country with her guy friend alone together doesn’t make you controlling. Honestly I think it’s weird that she thinks it’s normal for him to think it’s ok.
I have noticed this growing trend of women in relationships wanting to engage in behavior that any normal person would consider to be crossing lines of comfort, and then immediately jumping to accusations of their boyfriend/husband being controlling or insecure if they don't let it happen.
"Why are you breaking up with me over this, you never showed any signs!" Meanwhile, OP is constantly telling her how uncomfortable her side piece makes him and tells her he doesn't want her to go shack up in one room with him across the country where there's nobody around to stop him (or her) from doing something. I'm willing to bet she would always get jealous and snippy whenever he looked at another woman for longer than half a second.
The absolute audacity of Jake to never hold open a door. That really is a very frustrating behavior to have to deal with. Like seriously absolute strangers will hold open a door for you sometimes. I know I do for people all the time.
Of course the chick who's been belittling his feelings for years would ask "How could you do this?" After I'm sure he spent tons of energy explaining his reasoning.
When she's telling you that you're controlling when you refuse to accept her cross-country trip with an idiot stop her mid sentence. Tell her if she wants to go it's her decision just like it's your decision not to be there for someone who would blatantly disrespect you. Tell her all actions have consequences. Then walk away. Take a couple of hours or days to morn the loss then do what you have to do to move on. Forget about the "friends" and what they think. While friends and family can play an important role in your life they can't live it for you. After something like this some of those friends and or family will seem or become toxic. Leave them behind and focus on yourself, your future and living your best life possible.
"no sign", lo,l, she was consistently putting her friend above her boyfriend. boyfriend explained in great length how it was cuncomfortable and she chose to ignore it, what signs did she want, that he realized at last how bad a gf she was and grew a spine. his metaphor of the frog slowly boiling is accurate, he let her do the dirty with her friend, at least her allowing the friend to woo her. if she needs that attention she can't be in a relationship. OP dodged a massive bullet, even if break up is painful
"Controlling" and "insecure" are two buzzwords guilty women use to shame their man into letting them get away with their shit. "Toxic" is another one. Here's a fun idea: do the same thing with one of your girl friends, and call your gf insecure and controlling if she has a problem with it 😁
@Noctislolig another man planning a trip across the country and getting 1 hotel room. That's clearly meant to be romantic. If you can't see it, you're blind.
@Noctislolig i believe one reason for the trust issues is the "one room" thing i understand that you should trust your partner even with someone of the gender your partner is interested in, but that doesnt mean u can trust that other someone. and if u make it clear for a very long time that u dont trust the other person, i think its everyones own decision and right to feel whatever they feel about such a trip, especially when the other one only booked one room.
I would just tell her "my GF doesn't take trips alone with her guy friend" and leave it at that. If she goes on trip, then its break up time. I wouldn't even bother dating a girl who have guy friends, because it just signals to me that they're looking for constant male attention and outside validation which are both big red flags. Heavy social media usage is a huge red flag also in same context also.
if she says op is "controlling" and want to spend time with a male friend, in spite of her boyfriend being firmly against, dump her, she wants to cheat or at least prioritizes her guy friend over the relation. can't work
I don’t understand how OP wasn’t immediately a “f no” on all of it after hearing how “inappropriate” the Chad/Tyrone was with her - AND the guy was flaunting it in front of OP.
Because this Jake was subtle. He didn't act arsh or with strong words, but slow boiled OP GF. This is some type of act that some sociopath use. They manipulate people like this. OP noted this situation later but his relationship was already compromised. Trust me, this kind of people exist and can play others like fool with grace if you are not sensible enough or you are not aware of that
Ya know, the biggest red flag is how comfortable and disrespectful Jake is by planning and purchasing the tickets and room without consent from OP's ex, who is in a relationship. Any man/woman who respects you and your relationship would ask first and remind you to make sure it's all good with your significant other. EVEN amongst the lads themselves. He's so comfortable and sure of it going his way because the ex allowed him to. She allowed him to do that and expected OP to be okay with it, even when he previously mentioned his discomfort. She never saw his feelings as important. Why does she think he'd want to stay with someone like her. Who takes him for granted and hurts him easily all so she doesn't "hurt her relationship" with others. It is like saying her relationship with OP wasn't as important. You gotta pick who you want in your life. She picked Jake. 😂
I've always said this... Your gf or wife's best friend ever should never be a man that isn't you. Ghost all women who have a male best friend - this should be the standard. This allows them to finally get with the best friend that has been pining over them... and you don't have to be involved... or Break it off with that friend and be actually ready for a real relationship next time they get into one. Ladies, don't keep a male best friend. I'm not saying don't have a best male friend, I'm saying don't make your BEST FRIEND in the WHOLE WORLD male. Have that be another woman. I don't care if ya'll think this is unfair. Too bad so sad.
This is why it’s important to establish boundaries early if the relationship transitions from casual to exclusive. How many years could OP have saved if he didn’t back down each time after voicing his concerns? When they hit you with the INSECURE or CONTROLLING bs then it’s time to move on.
She sounds like a "I can fix him" type. If she took OPs pain and insecurities as serious as his then she wouldn't throw it back in OPs face. Willing to bet he will make a move and suddenly she has her friends probe into how OP feels. Empathy triage: Put the people important to you and a high BS tolerance first. You will be lost if your emotional rock shatters.
There's just no saving the situation when your GF has no real guard up against other men. Women SHOULD be constantly kinda suspicious of men's intentions because that's kinda necessary to stop creeps from getting close to you. Unfortunately someone that's a super sympathetic and caring person to literally everyone that walks into their life can end up being an awful partner. Can't date someone that can be accessed easily by other people because overly close as friends turns into close as more than friends real fast even for the most loyal of people.
I’m so glad I am the man I am. I showed this to my gf and even she knew yeah I would have been single if that was me. Like guys if your balls dropped LET IT BE KNOWN!
Now I'm not gonna act like its only a problem because he's a guy because frankly I feel like someone should react similarly regardless of gender I mean it was clear jake was planning something I would understand the GF more if it wasn't just him and her and even then being able to bring your spouse shouldn't be a reason for annoyance
I feel for him. Never been in a relationship. I get two friends hanging out & the partner being there can feel like a third wheel. Most male and female friendships can work but if one has a slight sexual feeling for the other, then them being alone, that sheer power of imagination can break anyone. Even if it doesn’t happen & they’re faithful to the partner.
there two way to look at this 1). the person reveal themself as the sort of person they really are 2). omg what did i do wrong was this because of me do i deserve this
Jake sounds slimy. That said, I have a lot of friends who are women and we go on trips, or they come visit, or I go visit (they pay their own way, I pay mine). Some are single, some have BFs, some are married. Some of these women I shot my shot with in the past, and of those, some said yes and some said no. Each one of them that stayed in my life proved to be a real friend, and those are too important to just let go. And if their BF/Husband wants to come on the trip too HE IS WELCOME. If my friend liked you well enough to date or marry you, I doubt we'll be enemies.
Your country sound like taking wrong concept of relationship. If you don't own her that mean you don't taking any responsibilities over her. Don't to invest much on her when you don't sure about your relationship with her.
![[Full Story] I Was Always The 'Disappointing' Daughter Because I Loved Sports. On My Wedding Day...](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/9cYLiG_5g84/mqdefault.jpg)
![[Full Story] I Was Always The 'Disappointing' Daughter Because I Loved Sports. On My Wedding Day...](/img/tr.png)
My initial response to finding out about the trip " im not saying you cant go, but if you do we are done."
More like "Have fun. Good bye." The relationship has been over for a long while. At least he knows it was just his turn with her.
1 room for both of them!? China would be jealous of the size of that big red flag.
Hah that one's good
Even the soviet union is clapping at size.
Wait that sounded really sus
The funny thing is that the GF will go on the trip, have sex with Jake, then blame the BF for it. Jake has the alcohol ready, I'm sure.
Yep then Jake will dump her like a bag of bricks because she isn’t that exciting to chase anymore. She will come back to OP moping how bad Jake is and how could she not see the signs. Glad OP dumped her and once he finds a girl that shows him the respect and love he deserves I hope the ex watches from the sideline and seethes at how stupid she was.
Yeah not wanting your girlfriend to travel across the country with her guy friend alone together doesn’t make you controlling. Honestly I think it’s weird that she thinks it’s normal for him to think it’s ok.
I have noticed this growing trend of women in relationships wanting to engage in behavior that any normal person would consider to be crossing lines of comfort, and then immediately jumping to accusations of their boyfriend/husband being controlling or insecure if they don't let it happen.
"Why are you breaking up with me over this, you never showed any signs!"
Meanwhile, OP is constantly telling her how uncomfortable her side piece makes him and tells her he doesn't want her to go shack up in one room with him across the country where there's nobody around to stop him (or her) from doing something. I'm willing to bet she would always get jealous and snippy whenever he looked at another woman for longer than half a second.
I'd laugh my way out of the house just for the audacity of her bringing up the question. 🤣🤣🤣
This guy is making every excuse he can to ignore that his gf doesn't respect him.
Dump her. Find a girl that respects you and your relationship.
The absolute audacity of Jake to never hold open a door. That really is a very frustrating behavior to have to deal with. Like seriously absolute strangers will hold open a door for you sometimes. I know I do for people all the time.
Would of just let her go and packed all my shit and ghosted her.
Of course the chick who's been belittling his feelings for years would ask "How could you do this?" After I'm sure he spent tons of energy explaining his reasoning.
Too bad about his kitty. The only thing of value he lost.
When she's telling you that you're controlling when you refuse to accept her cross-country trip with an idiot stop her mid sentence. Tell her if she wants to go it's her decision just like it's your decision not to be there for someone who would blatantly disrespect you. Tell her all actions have consequences. Then walk away. Take a couple of hours or days to morn the loss then do what you have to do to move on. Forget about the "friends" and what they think. While friends and family can play an important role in your life they can't live it for you. After something like this some of those friends and or family will seem or become toxic. Leave them behind and focus on yourself, your future and living your best life possible.
"no sign", lo,l, she was consistently putting her friend above her boyfriend. boyfriend explained in great length how it was cuncomfortable and she chose to ignore it, what signs did she want, that he realized at last how bad a gf she was and grew a spine. his metaphor of the frog slowly boiling is accurate, he let her do the dirty with her friend, at least her allowing the friend to woo her. if she needs that attention she can't be in a relationship. OP dodged a massive bullet, even if break up is painful
She's not your girl. It was just your turn for a while.
"Controlling" and "insecure" are two buzzwords guilty women use to shame their man into letting them get away with their shit. "Toxic" is another one.
Here's a fun idea: do the same thing with one of your girl friends, and call your gf insecure and controlling if she has a problem with it 😁
Kinda weird another dude wants to go on a romantic trip with ur gf and she wants you to be okay with it? 🥴
@Noctislolig another man planning a trip across the country and getting 1 hotel room. That's clearly meant to be romantic. If you can't see it, you're blind.
@NoctisloligThe dude has feelings for her and booked a single room for them both. What are you on about?
@Noctislolig i believe one reason for the trust issues is the "one room" thing
i understand that you should trust your partner even with someone of the gender your partner is interested in, but that doesnt mean u can trust that other someone. and if u make it clear for a very long time that u dont trust the other person, i think its everyones own decision and right to feel whatever they feel about such a trip, especially when the other one only booked one room.
I would just tell her "my GF doesn't take trips alone with her guy friend" and leave it at that. If she goes on trip, then its break up time. I wouldn't even bother dating a girl who have guy friends, because it just signals to me that they're looking for constant male attention and outside validation which are both big red flags. Heavy social media usage is a huge red flag also in same context also.
Lmao just reading the thumbnail... Yeah its over already lmao
dump her and move on.
Controlling and Insecure are the two words that does not exist in my world....Any women even mentions these words = not GF or Wife material.
Leave because she is enabling his behavior. No sane boy or girl will be OK with their significant other taking a trip with someone else.
Get rid of her...her request is ludicrous. The cat is a *MUCH* greater loss - & I'm not particularly a cat person !
She aint your girlfriend shes the country's girlfriend
Ask her if he you can go alone with a girl too
if she says op is "controlling" and want to spend time with a male friend, in spite of her boyfriend being firmly against, dump her, she wants to cheat or at least prioritizes her guy friend over the relation. can't work
Let her go, in more ways than one.
I don’t understand how OP wasn’t immediately a “f no” on all of it after hearing how “inappropriate” the Chad/Tyrone was with her - AND the guy was flaunting it in front of OP.
Because this Jake was subtle. He didn't act arsh or with strong words, but slow boiled OP GF. This is some type of act that some sociopath use. They manipulate people like this. OP noted this situation later but his relationship was already compromised. Trust me, this kind of people exist and can play others like fool with grace if you are not sensible enough or you are not aware of that
The pure idea of this trip is enough a reason to break up instantly.
Ya know, the biggest red flag is how comfortable and disrespectful Jake is by planning and purchasing the tickets and room without consent from OP's ex, who is in a relationship.
Any man/woman who respects you and your relationship would ask first and remind you to make sure it's all good with your significant other. EVEN amongst the lads themselves.
He's so comfortable and sure of it going his way because the ex allowed him to.
She allowed him to do that and expected OP to be okay with it, even when he previously mentioned his discomfort. She never saw his feelings as important.
Why does she think he'd want to stay with someone like her. Who takes him for granted and hurts him easily all so she doesn't "hurt her relationship" with others. It is like saying her relationship with OP wasn't as important.
You gotta pick who you want in your life. She picked Jake. 😂
I've always said this...
Your gf or wife's best friend ever should never be a man that isn't you.
Ghost all women who have a male best friend - this should be the standard.
This allows them to finally get with the best friend that has been pining over them... and you don't have to be involved... or
Break it off with that friend and be actually ready for a real relationship next time they get into one.
Ladies, don't keep a male best friend. I'm not saying don't have a best male friend, I'm saying don't make your BEST FRIEND in the WHOLE WORLD male.
Have that be another woman.
I don't care if ya'll think this is unfair. Too bad so sad.
I am so sad for the cat.
Tell her she is free to do anything she wants just as you are. If she values your relationship she won’t go, if not she will.
I suspect the Ex GF will be another Rohypnol statistic.
This is why it’s important to establish boundaries early if the relationship transitions from casual to exclusive. How many years could OP have saved if he didn’t back down each time after voicing his concerns? When they hit you with the INSECURE or CONTROLLING bs then it’s time to move on.
Jake sounds super shady.
6:46 Also How did gf not notice how toxic he is?
oh she KNOWS why do you think she is hellbend on wanting to go with him
immature young women are attracted to this kind of men...
@@FrederikEngelmand She is either completely blind or sleeping with him.
She notices and she loves it.
She's trying to control OP by calling him controlling. Gas-lighting maybe.... She's probably the hero of her own story. Move on
Hello darkness my old friend..
Yeah, if she goes; she should go.
The friend lives in the dorm?!
Women ALWAYS know who has the hots for them.
5 seconds in. OP told us she is cheating.
She sounds like a "I can fix him" type. If she took OPs pain and insecurities as serious as his then she wouldn't throw it back in OPs face. Willing to bet he will make a move and suddenly she has her friends probe into how OP feels.
Empathy triage: Put the people important to you and a high BS tolerance first. You will be lost if your emotional rock shatters.
End the relationship!
What I like abou tthis story in particular is how it actually, truly happened
There's just no saving the situation when your GF has no real guard up against other men. Women SHOULD be constantly kinda suspicious of men's intentions because that's kinda necessary to stop creeps from getting close to you. Unfortunately someone that's a super sympathetic and caring person to literally everyone that walks into their life can end up being an awful partner. Can't date someone that can be accessed easily by other people because overly close as friends turns into close as more than friends real fast even for the most loyal of people.
I’m so glad I am the man I am. I showed this to my gf and even she knew yeah I would have been single if that was me. Like guys if your balls dropped LET IT BE KNOWN!
Now I'm not gonna act like its only a problem because he's a guy because frankly I feel like someone should react similarly regardless of gender I mean it was clear jake was planning something I would understand the GF more if it wasn't just him and her and even then being able to bring your spouse shouldn't be a reason for annoyance
I am glad they were not married. If they were married and had kids some kids may be Jake's.
I feel for him. Never been in a relationship. I get two friends hanging out & the partner being there can feel like a third wheel. Most male and female friendships can work but if one has a slight sexual feeling for the other, then them being alone, that sheer power of imagination can break anyone. Even if it doesn’t happen & they’re faithful to the partner.
there two way to look at this
1). the person reveal themself as the sort of person they really are
2). omg what did i do wrong was this because of me do i deserve this
Jake sounds strikingly similar to micah from rdr2
wow this girl sounds like cancer run!
*Where's The Video With The Rest Of The Updates!*
Simple: no guy friends ever. That's it.
She must be a blonde
Jake sounds slimy. That said, I have a lot of friends who are women and we go on trips, or they come visit, or I go visit (they pay their own way, I pay mine). Some are single, some have BFs, some are married. Some of these women I shot my shot with in the past, and of those, some said yes and some said no. Each one of them that stayed in my life proved to be a real friend, and those are too important to just let go. And if their BF/Husband wants to come on the trip too HE IS WELCOME. If my friend liked you well enough to date or marry you, I doubt we'll be enemies.
Your country sound like taking wrong concept of relationship.
If you don't own her that mean you don't taking any responsibilities over her.
Don't to invest much on her when you don't sure about your relationship with her.
Lol what pain xD