There is absolutely been a growing trend in these stories of women who claim that their boyfriend or husband is "insecure" and or "controlling" if he does not allow them to get away with something that anyone with eyes can see is unreasonable. It really is just a gender reverse version of when men say "you're being crazy."
Story 1: Her explanation makes the situation 100 times worse. “I just never viewed this as a real relationship, I always viewed it as hanging out with my childhood buddy.” So the relationship was never real to her?
Well what do you expect? Its both their first real relationship and it moved from lifelong friendship to relationship and in 2 years to marriage. They absolutely rushed it and thats just a consequenz, both need to grow up a bit more
Nah, she convinced herself and she probably loves him romantically but they went from friends for all her life to being nearly married in a couple years, also, she was 18 when rhwy got together and now is 22 and still studying she's not grown they were going fast as hell because they have known eachother for long. If she's willing to put in work it's very fixable, irs not like she cheated or tried to disrespect him she was behaving exactly as she had been doing for decades and it makes sense he expected her to change once in a relationship but didn't say it and for people that have been together all their life it never crossed her mind that their relationship could end based on her not behaving a certain way. She was behaving childishly because they didn't take time to grow in the different relationship they were in and now she needs to work
One of the biggest deal breaker rules. No exes. I walked away from a stunningly beautiful woman I went on a date with a couple times because she told me that her last ex, who she was with for a long time, was her best friend and he will always be around no matter what. No thanks. He will be the first one she will run to when we have a major disagreement. I know how this will work out. I cut it short. I'd do it again.
just show her one of the infinite reddit stories about infidelity that have roots in your wife having heterosexual male friends. I think that if the person breaking up a relationship was male, there is a high chance she will remember the guy for a very long time even though he may have dumped her, cheated, abused her...
And that's the thing if they are great enough to be friends and also slept together for a long time the only thing stopping them from being together is home habits or finances. Get those out the way and you are the piggy bank and maid for their love
She was lying as revealed in the story. They hooked up multiple times over the course of a few years. Even if it was only once she would not have forgotten unless she had an extremely high body count and that is also a huge red flag. She even tried to belittle him by saying "I knew your ego couldn't handle it" because she knew that no self respecting man would accept her being friends him. Basically she isn't girlfriend material at all so OP let her go back to the streets.
@@ShadowXardas Yeah, she was lying. I only wrote it because OP believed her in his first update, even though this reasoning makes no sense! But good for him for knowing the truth in the end.
Why would people be angry about this guy wanting his gf to go to therapy before they give it another try? How many of us can say we still have a friend or spouse we knew when we were kids that is still in our lives today? That is something special and she didn't betray him, she just had a bad mindset. Second story, she wasn't "misled" or didn't properly understand the question, she was knowingly deceitful so she could keep this guy in her life as a backup. I swear man, when a man is in love he looses the ability to look at the actions of his lover in a logical manner. She gave him the lies she knew he wanted to hear I will will bet my life savings that the "like a brother" guy will pop back up in their relationship under similarly shady circumstances.
Op from first story was being really reasonable and demanded that both parties better themselves. If both parties can achieve that and are still willing to get together, then there shouldn't be any issues. Relationships after all should be used to improve and grow both parties into something better and not to regress or remain as a immature kid. Its a whole different story if that girl (yes she is mentally just a girl) doesn't improve at all. I personally have cut off a lot of people from my life when I've noticed that they haven't improved at all even they clearly know what their issues are. No point keeping people like that around.
I think it's only because people are usually against forced therapy, it doesn't seem helpful if the person doesn't truly want to help themselves, but rather wants to fill an obligation by going.
@@Hoki4 Exactly, marriage is a two player thing. Just because *you're* ready and mentally mature enough to go in to marriage, doesn't mean your partner necessarily is. Just because you love your partner, and your partner loves you more than anything in the world doesn't necessarily mean that marriage is a good thing at this time. I've seen couples that weren't married for 30+ Years and when they finally decided to get married (tax reasons, health reasons) they didn't last 3 Years because now it's a loooot of work, a lot of stress and you can't "just back out" of a relationship. SO I am definitely on the guys side, stay in the Relationship with the person you love just no marriage - a fucking squiggly line and a ring doesn't mean that a relationship will magically be for ever - any relationship should be treated like a marriage, any marriage should be treated like a relationship.
Story 2: Don’t waste time getting into a serious relationship with anyone that has a “friend” they slept with. It’s not insecure if you don’t want to deal with that person.
1) i can see the reasons on both sides, but serious g at snails speed, she needs to learn slowly baby steps 2) dont feel bad about yourself its her fault, she lie, then hid the truth then still has her in her life as a constant, i hope she suffers, wish you love and happiness with your next relationships
First Story: Her explanation doesn't make it better. Friends should support each other. Sure, they prank each other sometimes, but OP's Story sounds that those are one-sided "pranks" or even developing a sort of bullying by her. She throws cold water at him, did he do the same to her? She embarrasses him in front of others, did he do the same to her? The mind games may have been the unhealthy peak, but to me it seems she already was toxic when they were friends.
What? Have you never pulled pranks on your friends as a kid? I think it's perfectly normal to embarrass or make fun of your friends every once in a while. I did this to my friends all the time, and they did this to me. After all, they were immature little kids
00:38 yeah, nah. That's already a red flag. Either of immaturity, narcicism, she just looking for an excuse to break up, she just looking to be the one in power... Or all of those together.
OP is NTA for braking up with her for causing him emotional distress and not taking their relationship seriously. It could possibly work out if she betters herself. No one is talking about the fact that at 19 he had a crush on her when she was 16 and waited until the day she turned 18 to ask her out. That sounds strange to me.
Story 1 who would have guessed that having your first real relationship turn into marriage after just 2 years might be a bit much for 2 young people who where friends 9 times longer then the relationship
First situation is solvable. Thats just what happens when people never get rid off their childish antics, because they never run into consequences. Its more relevant for a long term relationship how people develop once they did indeed run into said consequences.
You're not the bad guy for calling off a relationship you don't want to be in. It doesn't matter how small and seemingly insignificant the reason. It's a bigger issue to marry someone you don't want to be with. It's a bigger issue than dedicating your life someone you don't truly want to care for. This is a terrible thing she did. Women like are looking for you say something terrible so they break up with you. She was gonna dump you. You're not the bad guy for beating her to the punch
Would you love me if I was a worm?! Edit: no way this came up, after I wrote it for fun xD Edit edit: Story 2: He got himself an Alabama girl without a real brother?! :o
Secretly, she wants to be free, so she agitates you so her mother won't be upset at her if she leaves you. She is agitating you so that you can become "The Villian" in the relationship. It is a trick. Tell everyone.
Why do some men pay for everything for women. It so stupid, there are so many examples of people leaving after you have payed for education ect. Also, the woman gets entitled, expecting you pay for stuff.
Story 1 parents are actually kinda good I mean, of course they did the bare minimum, but just how many stories we have seen where this didn't even come close to happen at all?
first time i dont see what is the problem and disagree with OP in a reddit story ( first story ) . I found these kind of questions genuinely interesting and im quite curious about my partner point of view on them even if some of them are horrible or very serious , its still interesting and even important if you think this is the partner of your life . Of course i get it that maybe OP wasnt in the mood for those questions but he make its seems like he is never in the mood for that , he only wants " good vibing and happiness from her " and i cant agree with that , i want everything with my wife , i want her to be my confidant for all my traumas , i want her to be the one that makes me laugh , i want her to be the one crying on my shoulder if this is what she needs , and i want her to be the person i will talk about very serious or weird questions with . Of course the fact that she asked those questions because in her head the relationship wasnt that serious sounds bad , but even if this is why she did it , i still dont get it why you wouldnt ask those questions in a serious relationship , i actually dont get it at all , i was expecting her parents to absolutely hates him for that but i see everyone taking his sides in the story and even in the comments so im really confused . Am i missing something here ?
You are missing the part where she gets angry at his logical answers, if she wanted to get to know him she would be satisfied with whatever answers he gave. But wanting her own way is quite toxic Overall she sounded immature which to be expected at young age
She also used someone's horrible experience for her question which is messed up if you genuinely don't see the issue with that I don't know what to tell you.
Story1: she's just an immature little girl who never managed to grow up. She wasn't trying to prank you or just be silly with you... come on. She took pleasure in playing mind games with you, she liked the drama, she knew it would eventually get to you and she considered that a win; it was her goal to get some kind of reaction from you. She's downplaying (like all woman do when their bad behaviour is called out) and making it seem like she was just innocently playing. This girl has some growing up to do. It's time to move on buddy, find yourself a mature woman.
one min in and there already a big red flag if some one is away setting you up in that way then she already going to find excuse after excuse to fight over nothing on a side note this happen to my best friend they broke it up when she cheated on him smh lol
Being in a relationship for only 3 years before marriage seems way too soon in my opinion and this is an example why. Not enough time to decide whether you can put up with the others "quirks" and let their true identity surface before you're tied to them legally and/or with children.
@@kirillstp not necessarily true, I've seen alot of stories of folks getting married before learning things about their partner and them changing or showing "true colors" that could've been prevented given more time passed.
I would want to come near me either she hasn't bathed brushed her teeth come the hair or change the clothes in 4 days no you stay back!! Truly she is immature she was not ready she was playing house like a little girl!! You dodged the bullet, give her time to grow up!!
Story 2 I don't mind if my GF has hooked up with the guy, that's in the past. But, if she's still close and cosying up with him (like a brother!??). The relationship is done. That's my take on this.
S1: She's a child, and isn't mentally fit for a serious relationship. You shouldn't be in a serious relationship with a female until she's 25-27yrs, and had some experience. If not, when she hits her 30's, she'll revert back to the girl you met, and blame you for everything she didn't get to experience. Then it's divorce or open relationship, either way, you stand to lose everything you built together.
She’s lucky it’s ended now. not the first time there’s some kind of hiccup after they’re married. ignorant man can’t even handle a little insecurity, he’d rather tell strangers on the Internet, his true feelings, then the supposed love of his life.
Is it just me, or is taking advice from people off Reddit almost like your girl taking relationship advice from their single/divorced friends? Lol. It seems like most people of Reddit are negative and don’t seem to like/trust women. So why would their advice be sought after? People don’t have real friends anymore? Lol
Story 1 ok but its pretty weird a 19 year old went after a 16 year old. Really weird. I dont feel bad for a predator. Bro waited for her 18th birthday, the second she turned 18 to pounce. He was 21. Her parents failed her by letting her get married so young.
Did you miss the part where he grew up with her. He's known her since he was 3. This really isn't that different from someone in junior year of high school dating a freshman. It's not like he groomed her something
![[Full Story] I Was Always The 'Disappointing' Daughter Because I Loved Sports. On My Wedding Day...](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/9cYLiG_5g84/mqdefault.jpg)
If a woman says you're insecure it's over. Peace out
"Insecure" is the societally accepted way of calling men weak.
There is absolutely been a growing trend in these stories of women who claim that their boyfriend or husband is "insecure" and or "controlling" if he does not allow them to get away with something that anyone with eyes can see is unreasonable.
It really is just a gender reverse version of when men say "you're being crazy."
@@SaintAnimus Nah. "Insecure men" are the ones that don't bend and do all their wishes. The weak men are called "abusive".
i want to like your comment but dont wanna ruin the perfect 100 you already have but at least u have 3 replies now💀
Op is pathetic for putting up with this
Story 1: Her explanation makes the situation 100 times worse. “I just never viewed this as a real relationship, I always viewed it as hanging out with my childhood buddy.” So the relationship was never real to her?
Well what do you expect? Its both their first real relationship and it moved from lifelong friendship to relationship and in 2 years to marriage.
They absolutely rushed it and thats just a consequenz, both need to grow up a bit more
Nah, she convinced herself and she probably loves him romantically but they went from friends for all her life to being nearly married in a couple years, also, she was 18 when rhwy got together and now is 22 and still studying she's not grown they were going fast as hell because they have known eachother for long. If she's willing to put in work it's very fixable, irs not like she cheated or tried to disrespect him she was behaving exactly as she had been doing for decades and it makes sense he expected her to change once in a relationship but didn't say it and for people that have been together all their life it never crossed her mind that their relationship could end based on her not behaving a certain way. She was behaving childishly because they didn't take time to grow in the different relationship they were in and now she needs to work
@@theoneandonly9775 Op needs to grow a spine.
One of the biggest deal breaker rules. No exes. I walked away from a stunningly beautiful woman I went on a date with a couple times because she told me that her last ex, who she was with for a long time, was her best friend and he will always be around no matter what. No thanks. He will be the first one she will run to when we have a major disagreement. I know how this will work out. I cut it short. I'd do it again.
just show her one of the infinite reddit stories about infidelity that have roots in your wife having heterosexual male friends. I think that if the person breaking up a relationship was male, there is a high chance she will remember the guy for a very long time even though he may have dumped her, cheated, abused her...
And that's the thing if they are great enough to be friends and also slept together for a long time the only thing stopping them from being together is home habits or finances. Get those out the way and you are the piggy bank and maid for their love
Second story: How can one hookup then FORGET about it!?
She was lying as revealed in the story. They hooked up multiple times over the course of a few years. Even if it was only once she would not have forgotten unless she had an extremely high body count and that is also a huge red flag. She even tried to belittle him by saying "I knew your ego couldn't handle it" because she knew that no self respecting man would accept her being friends him.
Basically she isn't girlfriend material at all so OP let her go back to the streets.
@@ShadowXardas Yeah, she was lying. I only wrote it because OP believed her in his first update, even though this reasoning makes no sense! But good for him for knowing the truth in the end.
Because she is lying. These damn Cheaters!
She could be honest, but needs to trickle truth. She's still boning him.
Not saying this applies, but drugs, alcohol, and trauma can make people blank.
"Your ego can't handle it" is code for "I know it would make you upset because I've been lying to you since day one."
ST1
Using someone’s horrible event for your own stupid questions is just messed up.
2nd story: "he's like a brother". Then "we hooked up one time", "actually, we were fwb for years". Dude was right in breaking up
Story #2 someone can no longer pair bond because of having too many sausages.
Why would people be angry about this guy wanting his gf to go to therapy before they give it another try? How many of us can say we still have a friend or spouse we knew when we were kids that is still in our lives today? That is something special and she didn't betray him, she just had a bad mindset. Second story, she wasn't "misled" or didn't properly understand the question, she was knowingly deceitful so she could keep this guy in her life as a backup. I swear man, when a man is in love he looses the ability to look at the actions of his lover in a logical manner. She gave him the lies she knew he wanted to hear I will will bet my life savings that the "like a brother" guy will pop back up in their relationship under similarly shady circumstances.
Op from first story was being really reasonable and demanded that both parties better themselves. If both parties can achieve that and are still willing to get together, then there shouldn't be any issues. Relationships after all should be used to improve and grow both parties into something better and not to regress or remain as a immature kid.
Its a whole different story if that girl (yes she is mentally just a girl) doesn't improve at all. I personally have cut off a lot of people from my life when I've noticed that they haven't improved at all even they clearly know what their issues are. No point keeping people like that around.
I think it's only because people are usually against forced therapy, it doesn't seem helpful if the person doesn't truly want to help themselves, but rather wants to fill an obligation by going.
Yeah the first story, she seems to have this only problem, if it can be fixed, it's all good.
@@Hoki4 Exactly, marriage is a two player thing. Just because *you're* ready and mentally mature enough to go in to marriage, doesn't mean your partner necessarily is. Just because you love your partner, and your partner loves you more than anything in the world doesn't necessarily mean that marriage is a good thing at this time. I've seen couples that weren't married for 30+ Years and when they finally decided to get married (tax reasons, health reasons) they didn't last 3 Years because now it's a loooot of work, a lot of stress and you can't "just back out" of a relationship.
SO I am definitely on the guys side, stay in the Relationship with the person you love just no marriage - a fucking squiggly line and a ring doesn't mean that a relationship will magically be for ever - any relationship should be treated like a marriage, any marriage should be treated like a relationship.
Story 2: She lied its a wrap
Story 2: Don’t waste time getting into a serious relationship with anyone that has a “friend” they slept with. It’s not insecure if you don’t want to deal with that person.
The insecure label is thrown around so much it has lost all meaning to the extent that it’s usually proved correct to fell that way
Never listen to people who don't know a shit about your life. It's your life you make choices for your own self
S2: OP’s not the a-hole, it’s just the fact that she actively lied & came up with a whole story about it, lmao
NEVER to late to back out, NEVER to early to separate/divorce!
1) i can see the reasons on both sides, but serious g at snails speed, she needs to learn slowly baby steps
2) dont feel bad about yourself its her fault, she lie, then hid the truth then still has her in her life as a constant, i hope she suffers, wish you love and happiness with your next relationships
First Story: Her explanation doesn't make it better. Friends should support each other.
Sure, they prank each other sometimes, but OP's Story sounds that those are one-sided "pranks" or even developing a sort of bullying by her.
She throws cold water at him, did he do the same to her? She embarrasses him in front of others, did he do the same to her?
The mind games may have been the unhealthy peak, but to me it seems she already was toxic when they were friends.
What? Have you never pulled pranks on your friends as a kid? I think it's perfectly normal to embarrass or make fun of your friends every once in a while. I did this to my friends all the time, and they did this to me. After all, they were immature little kids
00:38 yeah, nah. That's already a red flag. Either of immaturity, narcicism, she just looking for an excuse to break up, she just looking to be the one in power... Or all of those together.
OP is NTA for braking up with her for causing him emotional distress and not taking their relationship seriously. It could possibly work out if she betters herself.
No one is talking about the fact that at 19 he had a crush on her when she was 16 and waited until the day she turned 18 to ask her out. That sounds strange to me.
Story 1, she will find others ways to vampirise the dude
Why was her family so concerned? This guy was paying for their kids education. He was a free meal ticket. Hope he learned his lesson
Story 1. One of my stipulations would be daily throat-pies.
These are not mind games she is testing him.
Yes, and she turned out to be unbearable. Imagine being married to her.
The test is that she's crazy
S2 her 'brother'!! He's her side dude and lay away guy! Dump her! She new what he was asking from the start and lied
Story 1 who would have guessed that having your first real relationship turn into marriage after just 2 years might be a bit much for 2 young people who where friends 9 times longer then the relationship
First situation is solvable.
Thats just what happens when people never get rid off their childish antics, because they never run into consequences.
Its more relevant for a long term relationship how people develop once they did indeed run into said consequences.
You're not the bad guy for calling off a relationship you don't want to be in. It doesn't matter how small and seemingly insignificant the reason. It's a bigger issue to marry someone you don't want to be with. It's a bigger issue than dedicating your life someone you don't truly want to care for. This is a terrible thing she did. Women like are looking for you say something terrible so they break up with you. She was gonna dump you. You're not the bad guy for beating her to the punch
Would you love me if I was a worm?!
Edit: no way this came up, after I wrote it for fun xD
Edit edit: Story 2: He got himself an Alabama girl without a real brother?! :o
wrong for not breaking it earlier
Bro just dont answer the questions and call her dumb works every time
Secretly, she wants to be free, so she agitates you so her mother won't be upset at her if she leaves you. She is agitating you so that you can become "The Villian" in the relationship. It is a trick. Tell everyone.
When do guys get engagement rings ? Is this a new thing or am i just slow ?
Why do some men pay for everything for women. It so stupid, there are so many examples of people leaving after you have payed for education ect. Also, the woman gets entitled, expecting you pay for stuff.
Women are spoiled in everythung by society,history,law,men,parents and etc and modern women want more and more,like black hole
The women are even more stupid if they aren’t married either, you gave the dude a lot of power and your acting entitled
Story 1 parents are actually kinda good
I mean, of course they did the bare minimum, but just how many stories we have seen where this didn't even come close to happen at all?
The slave has escaped. Put on the act to bring him back.
She was like a "brother"
first time i dont see what is the problem and disagree with OP in a reddit story ( first story ) . I found these kind of questions genuinely interesting and im quite curious about my partner point of view on them even if some of them are horrible or very serious , its still interesting and even important if you think this is the partner of your life . Of course i get it that maybe OP wasnt in the mood for those questions but he make its seems like he is never in the mood for that , he only wants " good vibing and happiness from her " and i cant agree with that , i want everything with my wife , i want her to be my confidant for all my traumas , i want her to be the one that makes me laugh , i want her to be the one crying on my shoulder if this is what she needs , and i want her to be the person i will talk about very serious or weird questions with . Of course the fact that she asked those questions because in her head the relationship wasnt that serious sounds bad , but even if this is why she did it , i still dont get it why you wouldnt ask those questions in a serious relationship , i actually dont get it at all , i was expecting her parents to absolutely hates him for that but i see everyone taking his sides in the story and even in the comments so im really confused . Am i missing something here ?
You are missing the part where she gets angry at his logical answers, if she wanted to get to know him she would be satisfied with whatever answers he gave. But wanting her own way is quite toxic
Overall she sounded immature which to be expected at young age
She also used someone's horrible experience for her question which is messed up if you genuinely don't see the issue with that I don't know what to tell you.
Story1: she's just an immature little girl who never managed to grow up. She wasn't trying to prank you or just be silly with you... come on. She took pleasure in playing mind games with you, she liked the drama, she knew it would eventually get to you and she considered that a win; it was her goal to get some kind of reaction from you.
She's downplaying (like all woman do when their bad behaviour is called out) and making it seem like she was just innocently playing. This girl has some growing up to do. It's time to move on buddy, find yourself a mature woman.
one min in and there already a big red flag
if some one is away setting you up in that way
then she already going to find excuse after excuse
to fight over nothing
on a side note this happen to my best friend
they broke it up when she cheated on him
smh lol
Being in a relationship for only 3 years before marriage seems way too soon in my opinion and this is an example why. Not enough time to decide whether you can put up with the others "quirks" and let their true identity surface before you're tied to them legally and/or with children.
Nah, if you don't know within a few months, it's not gonna work
You can tell if someone's worth it or not. You can also refrain from sex or moving together until marriage to make sure both parties are serious
I got married after being in a relationship for 6 months. We're still together 10 years later. idk man.
@@kirillstp not necessarily true, I've seen alot of stories of folks getting married before learning things about their partner and them changing or showing "true colors" that could've been prevented given more time passed.
@@burgerbandit3646 those folks often missed obvious flags during the dating period. Young guys in particular fall into traps all the time
2nd story...NO MALE FRIENDS if you are in a serious relationship. If she says you're controlling or she is independent, nope, move on down the road.
Context is key, vast majority of male friends are a no no, but knowing them and seeing them platonic is rare but seen. Just 7/10 the guy will screw
I would want to come near me either she hasn't bathed brushed her teeth come the hair or change the clothes in 4 days no you stay back!! Truly she is immature she was not ready she was playing house like a little girl!! You dodged the bullet, give her time to grow up!!
Story 2
I don't mind if my GF has hooked up with the guy, that's in the past. But, if she's still close and cosying up with him (like a brother!??). The relationship is done. That's my take on this.
S1: She's a child, and isn't mentally fit for a serious relationship. You shouldn't be in a serious relationship with a female until she's 25-27yrs, and had some experience. If not, when she hits her 30's, she'll revert back to the girl you met, and blame you for everything she didn't get to experience. Then it's divorce or open relationship, either way, you stand to lose everything you built together.
Story 1 is fake af lol
1st Story 22F? you want her to be rational? you shouldn't be married at 22
I normally hate videos where they play this game but damn this video is making me want to hurl. The video is way too close up of the movement
First story
If OP never end this relationship.. future ahead she will cheat one him or she will regret marry too early..
Another one of these AI generated stories that is overlong and boring. GET TO THE FAFFING POINT, stop padding these stories with rubbish
She’s lucky it’s ended now. not the first time there’s some kind of hiccup after they’re married. ignorant man can’t even handle a little insecurity, he’d rather tell strangers on the Internet, his true feelings, then the supposed love of his life.
Is it just me, or is taking advice from people off Reddit almost like your girl taking relationship advice from their single/divorced friends? Lol. It seems like most people of Reddit are negative and don’t seem to like/trust women. So why would their advice be sought after? People don’t have real friends anymore? Lol
Engagement = first step in a divorce!
Story 1 ok but its pretty weird a 19 year old went after a 16 year old. Really weird. I dont feel bad for a predator. Bro waited for her 18th birthday, the second she turned 18 to pounce. He was 21. Her parents failed her by letting her get married so young.
Did you miss the part where he grew up with her. He's known her since he was 3. This really isn't that different from someone in junior year of high school dating a freshman. It's not like he groomed her something
So you never smashed a freshman when you were a jr or sr in college? Go away bro