Story 1 as usual the one who does the false accusations has zero consequences, glad op kicked to the curb those friends who went "believe all women" he doesn't need people like this in his life, a betrayal like this is never forgotten. Story 2 ahhh the classic grass isn't greener on the other side
@@Squidchad-qix92 I think that’s a horrible way of looking at things. Karmic revenge sounds nice but it’s ultimately cope. Would you say the same thing if a serial killer, only after years and years of killing, finally broke his back digging the hole to throw his victim in? That’s not justice, that’s not a good situation. He went years free, killing all along. The same goes for these false accusers. Letting them go free and harming more people along the way all in the hope that one day they will maybe, possibly get what’s coming to them is irresponsible.
Story 1 is likely to be made up anyway. “Is behind me. But I need it off my chest. Because haven't talked to anyone about this.” no one in their right mind would bring it up if it were truly behind them and reddit is the last place to vent about something so personal one couldn't even talk to council about it. Unless it's for clout, which the vast majority of reddit stories are: fiction for attention.
Story 1, not only did they believe that girl making the accusations, but she also claimed to be self harming yet every time they saw her there was no evidence of this occurring but they never got suspicious of her, total idiots.
Because it's automatically believed when a girl says rape it's gotten to where I don't even believe them the fake victims should go through what they put or would have put the real victim through jail time sex offenders list lose job or spot in college and face smeared all over the news
They were too simple minded to suspect or question anything about the "incident" which does make them idiots. That aside, there are numerous methods of self harming so I wouldn't always be too quick to determine if it were true or not if there are no scars on the forearms.
Story1: The worst part isn't that they chose to believe this girl, since some people are incredibly manipulative, you would offer them your life on a platter after brainwashing. But what is hard to swallow is the fact that your friends who were practically your family, did not give you the chance to express yourself and give your interpretation of what happened. Even the worst of monsters have that right. Instead, you were blocked all these years and left for dead, until THEY experienced the same thing and suddenly remembered you. You are fine without them. A friend is the one who gives you the benefit of the doubt, who gives you the chance to explain yourself despite the doubts and the seriousness of the accusations.
At least one of them acted as a friend, asking OP his side of the story and explaining why he was blocked by everyone else. He was even willing to tell the others what was happening once he learned the truth (which can mean that he already knew that Cindy's story was bs). For the girls group, their reaction might be understandable as they were not that close according to OP, but one of them still reached out thinking that the recents events were too strange to not be related to what was said about OP and that "night". Things that the other 3 boys didn't think about during all those years...
To op of story 1: she felt rejected and was vindictive/spiteful about it. I lost a job before on a false accusation after rejecting to hang out with a girl after work lol
@@jpv4253 no happy ending. My boss never bothered reaching out and I lined up another job. Honestly I should have reached out to her bf about her trying to hang out and then the false assumption for not saying yes to her invite. Or sued my boss at the time. All I can say is I don’t believe women anymore unless I know they are not the type to lie even if they are wrong.
Story 3 should leave him in nursing home or somewhere. He didn't care for his own family the whole life, why everyone has to take care of him when he is old???
Yeah must be some foreign country, because in the states if cheating dad had come back after leaving for 30 years, he would be a missing persons and the family would say he left again and would never be seen again.
S1: NTA. These are fair weather friends. They really believed a girl they've known for a short amount of time over someone they knew for a year. Without even asking or verifying the truth.
story1) they aren't your friend because they didn't ask for prove and just believed you story2) karma she knew what he did to her and still fell for it story3) i hope he can rot in hell he is a monster and your grandmother deserves to be in heaven
A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..
I’d say the closest thing to Universal is communication. It is not by any means a silver bullet good communication can absolutely make a relationship, flourish, and bad communication can completely destroy it. A lot of times most things that end up destroying relationships (like cheating) come from one of the spouses being unsatisfied for some reason and not communicating clearly those reasons to try and address them with the other. Sometime these reasons are minor and could’ve been cleared up very easily but because of bad communication they were left to fester until the entire relationship was destroyed.
Sounds like an excuse, poor people with limited to no options seems to stick together way longer. The problem with the west is it's undisciplined, no sense of duty, and very hedonistic.
Story 3: the OP is really upset that the GC uncle allows his dad to sleep on a couch as that's not basic human decency? You know what else isn't human decency? Cheating on your wife, abusing your wife and children.
I feel bad for the girl’s parents in the 2nd story; if I were a betting man, I’d bet my next paycheck they thought they were going to get a son-in-law.
Story 2: life lesson, never date anyone who’s previous relationship was abusive. You will be the one paying for that other persons mistakes, and these kinds of situations are rarely if ever one sided. Don’t believe someone when they say they are working on themselves and getting through it. You need to see actual results before you get in a relationship with someone like that
S2 she is alpha widowed to the ex boyfriend, she will never get over him, and he will always be able to manipulate her because she is stuck on him like epoxy, since even in death she will still be attached to him.
3rd story: I think the siblings across the country are setting a trap. They're going to either have him carted off to a cheap retirement home or just leave him at the airport.
Society today: women are angels and MUST be believed, no evidence needed. Not only is it disgusting, but it also ruins it for women who actually are real victims...
Story 2, no sympathy for the ex gf. She made her choice, bow she can reap what she's sown. She's an adult, she can be responsible for her own actions. She decided that her abuser ex was more important to her than the actual good person she had in her life. Op there is better off without her. She needs help to get over it. She knew what her ex was like, she knew what would happen, but still decided that her ex mattered more.
Story 1: You can forgive someone in your heart, but still never allow them back into your life. Forgiveness does not mean that there are no more consequences.
My step-uncle was accused of SA by my cousin , we didn't believe her and we were right ... because she was doing all of that just to get her mom (my aunt) attention. And mind you my step-uncle buy this brat WHATEVER she wants , new phone ? Got it , new clothes ? Got it He was the one always having to calm my aunt down when cousin and aunt were fighting. My mother and I being actual victims of SA are completely disgusted by her. To the point where we told my aunt to just let her go live with her dad. Real father , deadbeat uncle but act like a cool father to my cousins. Lol
Story 1: The most likely scenario for why the girl tried to ruin OP's life was for attention - some girls like the attention they get for being a victim, and so they will "victimize" themselves frequently to get it. No doubt, she milked that one for all it was worth. Odds are OP's friends caught on about her faking it long before it was confirmed, but none of them really wanted to call her out on it as that would not only risk making them look bad, but also it would mean acknowledging that they betrayed OP, so they simply went on behaving as if everything was normal until they couldn't anymore.
Story1: honestly, I don’t agree with OP not even trying to clear his name. The reason these AHs keep getting away with their crap is because good people just do nothing. They control the narrative because there victims don’t want to start waves. Always defend yourself, or you’ll just stay the bad guy in people eyes, and the true villain can hurt more people.
How could you explain what really happened to people who don't want to listen to you? He said he tried to reach the said "friends" but was blocked everywhere. Their opinion was already set, no matter what. Modern society is so: a woman will be believed on word, a man has to prove hundreds of times by facts; and even so, it's never enough and he will stay the villain in the narrative. Patrick Dils, male, accused of r*pe, proved innocent by justice, still has this r*pist nametag on him. Michelle Martin, female, proven complice of children abduction and murder of two girls, let two other girls starve to death in a hidden basement in her own house, is now taken care by social support in our country, got a job and home in no time after her out of jail and is now under protection. Women want equality but their rights and privileges are already far above of men's...
They're the type of people to drop their friend over a random person's unproven accusation. They didn't even hear him out. You can't convince people like that of anything, so why bother trying?
@@bjj1132 but it should still be said. Even if they wouldn’t believe him. Maybe someone actually listens, maybe it stays in the back of their head and they piece it together earlier when she shows her true nature, maybe nothing happens. But there should always be someone telling the truth.
Story #1 *Edited because my spelling is atrocious, lol. I have slightly different take on this than many in the comments. Not that I think the general consensus is wrong, but there may be other factors not considered. First, they're primarily "Online Friends", and there's a lot you don't know about each other in those friendships. So a claim like that, while it should still be substantiated with evidence before anyone takes action, is not as unbelievable as if they had known each other in real life for years, rather than just the occasional hang-out. It's a different type of friendship. That doesn't make it OK, they unfairly jumped the gun, but we should acknowledge it's a more unconventional dynamic. Next, it's not inherently a "believe all women, no matter what" case. Personally, I'd have cut them both off, not because of any assumption of guilt or innocence, but because I don't need all that drama bleeding over into my life. Maybe that would make me a "bad friend", but I'm OK with that. It's more like "Nope, I don't want to get dragged into the middle of this, I'm taking a step back", and if others did the same, I'd then reconnect with them. If that makes me an unsupportive a-hole, I would presume my true friends already know that about me and have made their peace with it. In my social circle, check your baggage at the door, I'm only there to have a good time and relax, and this is not a fun relaxing scenario, so I'm ducking out. But that doesn't implicitly mean I'm taking any side. We must also consider the impact of "Gossip". In a social group, things like this tend to get distorted with each retelling. How much of the accusation was from Cindy, and how much was embellished, miscommunicated and presumed as the news spread? I'm not trying to mitigate Cindy's culpability in any way, what she did was horrible. But even without intending to, the whole group may have made the story worse, and may have acted on an even more dramatized account of what allegedly happened. And that unknown contextual variable may have made a huge difference in people's reactions. OP is better off without these people. Some damages can't be undone. Even if the rest weren't malicious in their intentions, they did mishandle it (save for the one older guy who reached out to at least hear the other side, he might be worth mending things with, even if he ultimately made the wrong call). OP also asks if he should take her to court. I'm not a lawyer, but I do work in litigation, and he has no case there. What she did is not a "crime" that can be prosecuted. At best he could make a civil claim for defamation, but that requires him to have sustained financial damages, which he didn't indicate here. Maybe if he had to mount a legal defense or was forced into therapy as a result of her actions... but even then, it's a weak case. Defamation cases are about money, plain and simple, and you need to objectively show that you incurred expenses as a result of her actions. "Pain and Suffering" is not in itself very actionable, despite what you see on TV, there have to be real damages. Even if he won a civil judgement against her for some amount of money (and he probably wouldn't), being awarded money and actually being able to collect it are two different things entirely. He'd have a better chance LITERALLY getting blood from the proverbial stone than getting a penny from a drug-addicted loser like her. She just won't pay it, and it would cost more to pursue than he could hope to claim, so no lawyer will touch this case. The other legal avenue for him is injunctive relief. That's where the courts compel the losing party to a specific action. That may be something like a restraining order, but that isn't warranted here, as she's not really harassing him now. Those mitigate present threats, they don't punish past actions. Or, while it would be very unorthodox in this situation, the courts could also compel her to make a retraction of her past statements. But that's unlikely, the case would likely get kicked if that's all he asked for. And even if he did get that, it just shines a light on the whole situation and others who may be unaware of the accusations would begin to ask questions. Even with her forced retraction, there are a lot of contrarians out there who would presume OP guilty anyway. This could easily backfire on him, even if he gets everything he wants. The best option for him is to move on, let sleeping dogs lie. In time, everyone she meets will see her for who she really is, and she will have a very difficult life, which is directly attributable to her deep character flaws. She may not be held accountable in any significant way for this specific transgression, but that doesn't mean her behavior is without consequence to the quality of her life. People like her always find themselves in compromising situations, and that's where the unlubricated fist of karma will have its way with her. Trust in that, make better friends and move on. This resentment, while valid, no longer serves a meaningful purpose in OP's life.
OP keeps calling the truth his “side of the story of the story” but he is actually telling his “version of the story” and there is a difference. With two or more “versions” of a story at least one of the stories is a lie and at most only one is true. For example- A police officer hears a crash like trash cans being knocked over than a man and woman both screaming and arrives on the scene to find a man lying on top of a woman prying the bottle of pepper spray she’s spraying all over his face out of his face out of her hands and tossing it before climbing off of her. The woman’s version of the story is the man just charged at her out of nowhere and tackled her to the ground and she started spraying him. The man’s version was he was walking home minding his own business when suddenly out of nowhere a mist of liquid fire hit his face and the shock of being suddenly rendered almost blind and in pain put him into combat mode at which time he tackled the fuzzy figure he saw in don’t if him that seemed to be the source of spray tackled her to the ground and used the sound of the spray to locate the bottle and took it away from her. One person attacked the other unprovoked and is lying to cover it up, the other is telling the truth and was only defending themselves, but which is which? Which VERSION of the story is true? When dealing with SIDES of a story more often than not everyone is in agreement that the story is true but even though they’re all telling the same story each side is told from a different perspective each adding more context and providing a better explanation for what happened. For example- We start with the same set of circumstances police follow noise, man being pepper sprayed by a woman he’s on top of and she tells the police he tackled her. But this time the man gives his SIDE of the story in which he did in fact tackle the woman as she was crossing the street. He tackled her out of the way of an oncoming car that was about to run right over her! He is sorry that his intentions were misunderstood but he wasn’t trying to hurt her and on the contrary was saving her life! Now there’s still a chance his story is a lie he’s telling to fool everyone the woman included to believe his innocence but to tell a different side of a story is to admit the story the other one is telling is true. If the person is lying and your story contradicts their story you aren’t giving a different side of what happened, you’re giving a different version.
@@HumanB312 I’m not sure not talking to friends would be considered “damages” in the eyes of the court. You can’t quantify any losses so…. Like op said. More than likely, no case.
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Story 1 as usual the one who does the false accusations has zero consequences, glad op kicked to the curb those friends who went "believe all women" he doesn't need people like this in his life, a betrayal like this is never forgotten. Story 2 ahhh the classic grass isn't greener on the other side
💯👍🏿
@@Squidchad-qix92 Wouldn't be surprised if that was a lie, too.
@@Squidchad-qix92 I think that’s a horrible way of looking at things. Karmic revenge sounds nice but it’s ultimately cope. Would you say the same thing if a serial killer, only after years and years of killing, finally broke his back digging the hole to throw his victim in? That’s not justice, that’s not a good situation. He went years free, killing all along. The same goes for these false accusers. Letting them go free and harming more people along the way all in the hope that one day they will maybe, possibly get what’s coming to them is irresponsible.
"the one"... which always is the woman.
Stay safe and single, gents.
Story 1 is likely to be made up anyway. “Is behind me. But I need it off my chest. Because haven't talked to anyone about this.” no one in their right mind would bring it up if it were truly behind them and reddit is the last place to vent about something so personal one couldn't even talk to council about it. Unless it's for clout, which the vast majority of reddit stories are: fiction for attention.
Story 1, not only did they believe that girl making the accusations, but she also claimed to be self harming yet every time they saw her there was no evidence of this occurring but they never got suspicious of her, total idiots.
Because it's automatically believed when a girl says rape it's gotten to where I don't even believe them the fake victims should go through what they put or would have put the real victim through jail time sex offenders list lose job or spot in college and face smeared all over the news
They probably thought the self-harm marks were on her legs
They were too simple minded to suspect or question anything about the "incident" which does make them idiots. That aside, there are numerous methods of self harming so I wouldn't always be too quick to determine if it were true or not if there are no scars on the forearms.
@@echenexcetera5702 So she never wore a skirt or dress? And who self harms by cutting their legs?
@@IzzyPR2010 people who want to hide the scars. Yes, I personally know someone who did this.
Story1: The worst part isn't that they chose to believe this girl, since some people are incredibly manipulative, you would offer them your life on a platter after brainwashing. But what is hard to swallow is the fact that your friends who were practically your family, did not give you the chance to express yourself and give your interpretation of what happened. Even the worst of monsters have that right. Instead, you were blocked all these years and left for dead, until THEY experienced the same thing and suddenly remembered you. You are fine without them. A friend is the one who gives you the benefit of the doubt, who gives you the chance to explain yourself despite the doubts and the seriousness of the accusations.
At least one of them acted as a friend, asking OP his side of the story and explaining why he was blocked by everyone else. He was even willing to tell the others what was happening once he learned the truth (which can mean that he already knew that Cindy's story was bs). For the girls group, their reaction might be understandable as they were not that close according to OP, but one of them still reached out thinking that the recents events were too strange to not be related to what was said about OP and that "night". Things that the other 3 boys didn't think about during all those years...
To op of story 1: she felt rejected and was vindictive/spiteful about it.
I lost a job before on a false accusation after rejecting to hang out with a girl after work lol
Exactly I don't think op realized that she was probably trying to sleep with him and he unknowingly turned her down
What did you do next ??
@@jpv4253 no happy ending. My boss never bothered reaching out and I lined up another job. Honestly I should have reached out to her bf about her trying to hang out and then the false assumption for not saying yes to her invite. Or sued my boss at the time. All I can say is I don’t believe women anymore unless I know they are not the type to lie even if they are wrong.
Story 3 should leave him in nursing home or somewhere. He didn't care for his own family the whole life, why everyone has to take care of him when he is old???
Yeah must be some foreign country, because in the states if cheating dad had come back after leaving for 30 years, he would be a missing persons and the family would say he left again and would never be seen again.
@@Censorthisbananahamockexplain i didnt understand
@@jpv4253They would kill the dad.
Man, Em's parents in story 2 feel like they're losing a son.
Hurts to hear.
S1: NTA. These are fair weather friends. They really believed a girl they've known for a short amount of time over someone they knew for a year. Without even asking or verifying the truth.
story1) they aren't your friend because they didn't ask for prove and just believed you
story2) karma she knew what he did to her and still fell for it
story3) i hope he can rot in hell he is a monster and your grandmother deserves to be in heaven
A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..
You wont regret it
I’d say the closest thing to Universal is communication. It is not by any means a silver bullet good communication can absolutely make a relationship, flourish, and bad communication can completely destroy it. A lot of times most things that end up destroying relationships (like cheating) come from one of the spouses being unsatisfied for some reason and not communicating clearly those reasons to try and address them with the other. Sometime these reasons are minor and could’ve been cleared up very easily but because of bad communication they were left to fester until the entire relationship was destroyed.
Sounds like an excuse, poor people with limited to no options seems to stick together way longer.
The problem with the west is it's undisciplined, no sense of duty, and very hedonistic.
Story 3: the OP is really upset that the GC uncle allows his dad to sleep on a couch as that's not basic human decency?
You know what else isn't human decency?
Cheating on your wife, abusing your wife and children.
I feel bad for the girl’s parents in the 2nd story; if I were a betting man, I’d bet my next paycheck they thought they were going to get a son-in-law.
Story 2: life lesson, never date anyone who’s previous relationship was abusive. You will be the one paying for that other persons mistakes, and these kinds of situations are rarely if ever one sided.
Don’t believe someone when they say they are working on themselves and getting through it. You need to see actual results before you get in a relationship with someone like that
…way to victim blame
How’s that?
@@Gayonetta5000 Words are wind in life.
@@Gayonetta5000There was no victim blaming on that comment btw
S2 she is alpha widowed to the ex boyfriend, she will never get over him, and he will always be able to manipulate her because she is stuck on him like epoxy, since even in death she will still be attached to him.
3rd story:
I think the siblings across the country are setting a trap. They're going to either have him carted off to a cheap retirement home or just leave him at the airport.
Story 2: OP should have broken up with her right when she started to contact her ex. She is terrible and cant be forgiven!!!
Story 1: Forgive, yes. Reconcile, hell no.
A gardening tool😂
S1: Women good/men bad. Believe all women. Duluth model. Patriarchy Theory.
What a time to be a guy.
Story 1. This is almost an exact carbon copy of what happened to me and my group of friends except instead of bonding over memes it was cars.
Of course she's a nurse
6:45 she wasn’t in shock. She’s sad cuz her “friend” didn’t give her what she wanted. She lost a true friend and those girls need to go away.
Society today: women are angels and MUST be believed, no evidence needed. Not only is it disgusting, but it also ruins it for women who actually are real victims...
3rd story. When she says her bro became the GC, what the hell does GC stand for??
Golden Child
Golden child
Story 1:
*Reason WHY NEVER BELIEVE ALL WAHMEN ☕!!*
Last story: No one has to treat him like he is human. No one has to care for him. He's a grown man. He needs to take care of himself.
Story 2, no sympathy for the ex gf. She made her choice, bow she can reap what she's sown. She's an adult, she can be responsible for her own actions. She decided that her abuser ex was more important to her than the actual good person she had in her life. Op there is better off without her. She needs help to get over it. She knew what her ex was like, she knew what would happen, but still decided that her ex mattered more.
Story 1. How many red flags do you need to find before realising something is up.
How does he show up with his mistress to church and yall get shunned?
Story 1: You can forgive someone in your heart, but still never allow them back into your life.
Forgiveness does not mean that there are no more consequences.
Moving on does not require forgiveness.
People should realise that it's okay not to forgive.
Story 1 she probably wanted to hook up with OP and felt rejected
Story 3 HAS to be Asian or Hispanic.
Why do you say that? Please explain.
I just wish I knew the false accuser’s friends so I can avoid them.
Bro this fucking story should've started with the fact that first story's chick was a nurse, would've saved me 20 minutes.
My step-uncle was accused of SA by my cousin , we didn't believe her and we were right ... because she was doing all of that just to get her mom (my aunt) attention. And mind you my step-uncle buy this brat WHATEVER she wants , new phone ? Got it , new clothes ? Got it
He was the one always having to calm my aunt down when cousin and aunt were fighting.
My mother and I being actual victims of SA are completely disgusted by her. To the point where we told my aunt to just let her go live with her dad. Real father , deadbeat uncle but act like a cool father to my cousins. Lol
Story 1:
The most likely scenario for why the girl tried to ruin OP's life was for attention - some girls like the attention they get for being a victim, and so they will "victimize" themselves frequently to get it. No doubt, she milked that one for all it was worth. Odds are OP's friends caught on about her faking it long before it was confirmed, but none of them really wanted to call her out on it as that would not only risk making them look bad, but also it would mean acknowledging that they betrayed OP, so they simply went on behaving as if everything was normal until they couldn't anymore.
Story1: honestly, I don’t agree with OP not even trying to clear his name.
The reason these AHs keep getting away with their crap is because good people just do nothing. They control the narrative because there victims don’t want to start waves. Always defend yourself, or you’ll just stay the bad guy in people eyes, and the true villain can hurt more people.
How could you explain what really happened to people who don't want to listen to you? He said he tried to reach the said "friends" but was blocked everywhere. Their opinion was already set, no matter what. Modern society is so: a woman will be believed on word, a man has to prove hundreds of times by facts; and even so, it's never enough and he will stay the villain in the narrative.
Patrick Dils, male, accused of r*pe, proved innocent by justice, still has this r*pist nametag on him.
Michelle Martin, female, proven complice of children abduction and murder of two girls, let two other girls starve to death in a hidden basement in her own house, is now taken care by social support in our country, got a job and home in no time after her out of jail and is now under protection.
Women want equality but their rights and privileges are already far above of men's...
They're the type of people to drop their friend over a random person's unproven accusation. They didn't even hear him out. You can't convince people like that of anything, so why bother trying?
@@bjj1132 but it should still be said. Even if they wouldn’t believe him. Maybe someone actually listens, maybe it stays in the back of their head and they piece it together earlier when she shows her true nature, maybe nothing happens. But there should always be someone telling the truth.
Ok OP don’t build a case against her seems like she got her due. Don’t take your make friends back move on and line your best life
First story.... Didn't ruin your life at all, just some friends but okay
Story 1:
OP = NTA
OP’s EX - _"friends"_ = Blue-Pilled Simps ☢️🤢😡☣️☢️☢️☢️
What is GC? from the last story
From what I have read it means "Golden Child".
Never hang out with a girl all alone
lmao 1km walk and he's already tired.
Story #1
*Edited because my spelling is atrocious, lol.
I have slightly different take on this than many in the comments. Not that I think the general consensus is wrong, but there may be other factors not considered.
First, they're primarily "Online Friends", and there's a lot you don't know about each other in those friendships. So a claim like that, while it should still be substantiated with evidence before anyone takes action, is not as unbelievable as if they had known each other in real life for years, rather than just the occasional hang-out. It's a different type of friendship. That doesn't make it OK, they unfairly jumped the gun, but we should acknowledge it's a more unconventional dynamic.
Next, it's not inherently a "believe all women, no matter what" case. Personally, I'd have cut them both off, not because of any assumption of guilt or innocence, but because I don't need all that drama bleeding over into my life. Maybe that would make me a "bad friend", but I'm OK with that. It's more like "Nope, I don't want to get dragged into the middle of this, I'm taking a step back", and if others did the same, I'd then reconnect with them. If that makes me an unsupportive a-hole, I would presume my true friends already know that about me and have made their peace with it. In my social circle, check your baggage at the door, I'm only there to have a good time and relax, and this is not a fun relaxing scenario, so I'm ducking out. But that doesn't implicitly mean I'm taking any side.
We must also consider the impact of "Gossip". In a social group, things like this tend to get distorted with each retelling. How much of the accusation was from Cindy, and how much was embellished, miscommunicated and presumed as the news spread? I'm not trying to mitigate Cindy's culpability in any way, what she did was horrible. But even without intending to, the whole group may have made the story worse, and may have acted on an even more dramatized account of what allegedly happened. And that unknown contextual variable may have made a huge difference in people's reactions.
OP is better off without these people. Some damages can't be undone. Even if the rest weren't malicious in their intentions, they did mishandle it (save for the one older guy who reached out to at least hear the other side, he might be worth mending things with, even if he ultimately made the wrong call).
OP also asks if he should take her to court. I'm not a lawyer, but I do work in litigation, and he has no case there. What she did is not a "crime" that can be prosecuted.
At best he could make a civil claim for defamation, but that requires him to have sustained financial damages, which he didn't indicate here. Maybe if he had to mount a legal defense or was forced into therapy as a result of her actions... but even then, it's a weak case. Defamation cases are about money, plain and simple, and you need to objectively show that you incurred expenses as a result of her actions. "Pain and Suffering" is not in itself very actionable, despite what you see on TV, there have to be real damages.
Even if he won a civil judgement against her for some amount of money (and he probably wouldn't), being awarded money and actually being able to collect it are two different things entirely. He'd have a better chance LITERALLY getting blood from the proverbial stone than getting a penny from a drug-addicted loser like her. She just won't pay it, and it would cost more to pursue than he could hope to claim, so no lawyer will touch this case.
The other legal avenue for him is injunctive relief. That's where the courts compel the losing party to a specific action. That may be something like a restraining order, but that isn't warranted here, as she's not really harassing him now. Those mitigate present threats, they don't punish past actions.
Or, while it would be very unorthodox in this situation, the courts could also compel her to make a retraction of her past statements. But that's unlikely, the case would likely get kicked if that's all he asked for. And even if he did get that, it just shines a light on the whole situation and others who may be unaware of the accusations would begin to ask questions. Even with her forced retraction, there are a lot of contrarians out there who would presume OP guilty anyway. This could easily backfire on him, even if he gets everything he wants.
The best option for him is to move on, let sleeping dogs lie. In time, everyone she meets will see her for who she really is, and she will have a very difficult life, which is directly attributable to her deep character flaws. She may not be held accountable in any significant way for this specific transgression, but that doesn't mean her behavior is without consequence to the quality of her life. People like her always find themselves in compromising situations, and that's where the unlubricated fist of karma will have its way with her. Trust in that, make better friends and move on. This resentment, while valid, no longer serves a meaningful purpose in OP's life.
😴
Story 1: Ah yes, always believing the new person over the PERSON YOU'VE KNOWN FOR THE LAST FEW YEARS!!!
No, always believing the woman. That's what those POSs did to him.
OP keeps calling the truth his “side of the story of the story” but he is actually telling his “version of the story” and there is a difference. With two or more “versions” of a story at least one of the stories is a lie and at most only one is true.
For example-
A police officer hears a crash like trash cans being knocked over than a man and woman both screaming and arrives on the scene to find a man lying on top of a woman prying the bottle of pepper spray she’s spraying all over his face out of his face out of her hands and tossing it before climbing off of her.
The woman’s version of the story is the man just charged at her out of nowhere and tackled her to the ground and she started spraying him.
The man’s version was he was walking home minding his own business when suddenly out of nowhere a mist of liquid fire hit his face and the shock of being suddenly rendered almost blind and in pain put him into combat mode at which time he tackled the fuzzy figure he saw in don’t if him that seemed to be the source of spray tackled her to the ground and used the sound of the spray to locate the bottle and took it away from her.
One person attacked the other unprovoked and is lying to cover it up, the other is telling the truth and was only defending themselves, but which is which? Which VERSION of the story is true?
When dealing with SIDES of a story more often than not everyone is in agreement that the story is true but even though they’re all telling the same story each side is told from a different perspective each adding more context and providing a better explanation for what happened.
For example-
We start with the same set of circumstances police follow noise, man being pepper sprayed by a woman he’s on top of and she tells the police he tackled her.
But this time the man gives his SIDE of the story in which he did in fact tackle the woman as she was crossing the street. He tackled her out of the way of an oncoming car that was about to run right over her! He is sorry that his intentions were misunderstood but he wasn’t trying to hurt her and on the contrary was saving her life!
Now there’s still a chance his story is a lie he’s telling to fool everyone the woman included to believe his innocence but to tell a different side of a story is to admit the story the other one is telling is true. If the person is lying and your story contradicts their story you aren’t giving a different side of what happened, you’re giving a different version.
there is no case in the first story.
Defamation
Defamation
@@HumanB312 I’m not sure not talking to friends would be considered “damages” in the eyes of the court. You can’t quantify any losses so…. Like op said. More than likely, no case.
Day 262 of commenting to help secretvoices