For me, the hardest part is the loss of desire. A lack of want for ANYTHING. Deciding on food to eat, things to occupy my time. You just get utterly stuck. I can do things if there's a demand!! But i can't make the demand emerge from within.
Can you make a to-do list of enjoyable things? Set an alarm three tlmes a day for when you have to do at least one of those things? You can create your own external motivation. And if it helps: Go make that list right now, please. Do it for me. Find at least ten small and five medium things for that list. You get extra credit for each additional item.
I feel this way and was diagnosed with clinical depression but have just found lack of motivation is a sign of having ADHD - you can do it if you have to, if you have to, it’s treatable with medication or if you don’t want that then there are strategies to create the challenge that having to do something gives you (it’s connected with dopamine levels). Might be worth you trying an online test for it. For me it put a new perspective on the roots of the depression. If you can’t identify with ADHD the strategies might still work for you🤞
You know what I find so sad is when someone asks me what I do for fun and not only can’t I give an answer but honestly I don’t even know what fun looks like anymore.
Every day i walk my dog. If it wasnt for him, i dont think id do anything at all. Its something i used to love, working with animals, training my dogs. Now its a chore to do. But i keep hoping that one day, I'll realize im enjoying it again. My adult daughter is also great at continuing to invite me to things that she knows i used to enjoy. Even tho i decline 99% of the time, she keeps asking, never being judgemental or visibly disappointed. That kind of support means so much.
You have an Awesome daughter and a beautiful Dog. I absolutely love my Dogs for getting me out into the sunshine. As I get older I also make sure to take care of my spiritual health too, prayer and reading the Holy Bible, especially the book of Psalms ❤
Ive been over 4 years sober from alcohol. Depressive disorder. ADHD. I suffer from anhedonia. There's no other word for it than suffer. It's quiet suffering too, almost despair at times. Stay Strong, friends.
It’s sort of a relief to know I’m not alone here and that many others go through the same thing. I’d never wish it on anyone, but it helps to get ideas from others and knowing I’m not just a failure.
I’m glad I’m not alone in this struggle. Music just sounds like a bunch of sound, gaming is extremely boring, I have no will to do new things, the list goes on. The emptiness and suffering makes it even harder for me to cope / get a grasp of this illness.
Did the depression/anhedonia start once sober? Or were they always there? I drank on and off (mostly on) from 17 to 46. Stayed sober for nearly a year... Couldn't relax, no pleasure. No improvement in depression and anhedonia (which had been there since childhood).
My anhedonia is caused by my severe depression. My severe depression is caused by my severe anxiety. My severe anxiety stopped me living a “normal” life from about the age of 12. I also have DPDR, and the world hasn’t felt real to me for 30 years. I feel like screaming. I feel desperate. Medication doesn’t help. Therapists don’t hang around long enough for me to make real progress. I tried to be normal. When I discovered I could not handle it, I shut down. Just existing is so hard. I’m so exhausted.
I’m so sorry you feel this way 🤗 could you possibly research/try a ketogenic diet? The brain works much much better when it’s fuelled by ketones rather than glucose 👍 wishing you all the best ❤️
Menopause has stripped all joy from my life. It's been 3 years since I felt truly happy,motivated and productive. Joy has almost completely disappeared. The only thing I look forward to is getting in bed at the end of another pointless day. I drag myself through each day just for my children. They need me to keep putting 1 foot in front of the other. They are the only thing that bring me any kind of joy now.
I hope you can regain some joy soon❤even just brief moments of Joy. My dogs remind me to stop and smell the roses(they literally smell every blade of grass 😂). But even tiny things like feeling the sunshine on my face, taking that moment to just relax and breath. Endurance with glimmers of Joy❤
@@cyndihauptman5857I’m sorry that you are having such negative feelings. I hope you have a friend or someone that loves you. Or someone that you love. Please love yourself too ❤
Hormones are😠😡 today I had an appointment in a garden for volunteerwork and it was sunny outside ☀️she was explaining everything what was groing there, we sat outside in a really nice environment 🌱🌻and I just felt nothing😑 I acted all enthousiastic and was all like 'I love to learn new things' 😏 but I didn't feel it. I mean 'on paper' this sounds so nice and you should think I would feel a little bit of excitement but nothing. But I have this with everything,.. the only thing I want is being left alone and watch tv or going on a long vacation and not coming back😂
It feels even more self defeating when I dabble with hobbies I used to enjoy but no motivation comes to continue. It makes me avoid the activity even more because it triggers despair and hopelessness. Ironically, recently the only things that have got me out are self destructive and that's even worse than staying at home.
I'm with you. I bought a bunch of equipment I always thought I'd enjoy working with, because we always had it available when I was a kid. I barely touch it. There's just no feeling at all associated with using it. It's another task to be completed, but with no real reason for doing it. It's got to be biochemical. There's just no reward feedback system in place to tell you that you're having fun. I don't know what the answer is, but I hope you find one.
Damn, this is so relatable. I'm currently stuck. I always get the urge to write a story, but every time I sit down to do it, I feel nothing. There's nothing I want to write about, no story I want to tell, no idea I care enough about to research. But then, I force myself to write anyway and after a good amount of time writing, I sit there and I'm like, "nope, life's still boring as fuck." What makes it frustrating is that this is what happened with another hobby I used to love. No matter how much I did and learned more and improved, it never brought me any sort of satisfaction whatsoever, beyond short-term relief from the emptiness.
@@abbliee5439 I feel ya. It sucks when the things you thought you enjoyed are just another task on an endless todo list. I tried the pills. All they did was make me more likely to do things that weren't in my best interest. Still, there have been times when I did something I didn't really expect to do, and then later realized I enjoyed it. Damn busted brain. I wish I had an idea to give you.
@@abbliee5439this is so relatable... I have this feeling with painting. I just don't feel inspired anymore lately, but when I have this little bit of inspiration it's gone when I sit down, it feels useless.. I am like I am sitting here alone painting and just feel numb or frustrated when I ruined another painting/paper again. Tonight I put all my paintings away (frustrated and emotional) and cleaned my palette and I feel like I have to just take a break for a while.
I hate waking up. And the realization that I can't just stay in bed, it makes my body hurt, but what is there to get up for? I make breakfast but I can't have a lot of good stuff because I'm diabetic, so no pancakes, no toast, no cereal. It's horrible.
I was like this a few years ago. But then I realized, I don't want to end it, I am too curious about the future. And after that, I started creating plans, goals to achieve for me and for my family. I always find something to do (learning new things, fixing stuff around the house, etc.) I had a sh1tty childhood with so much stress and anxiety, and I am relieved that all these feeling went away (forever, I hope).
@@mattkolb3626 Something happened to me, and I think that was the last straw for my mental health. My emotions just... disappeared slowly and now I rarely feel anything, all positive emotion is gone, not the anxiety tho, I still have it but it isn't that bad anymore. If I remember correctly this is called anhedonia or something. This doesn't mean I don't laugh or cry and stuff... it is hard to explain, really.
I've struggled with depression, and anhedonia on and off all of my life. My husband of forty years walked away from the marriage without warning six years ago and since then it's been like my joy switch in my brain has been turned off, but I keep going and I will not be defeated. I love painting and crafting. I love going to the beach and just being submerged in any body of water. I love being with my dog. I love getting a Starbucks mocha coffee. I love my favorite shows on TV and I love chatting with my family and friends. I still never feel excited or very hopeful and I have anxiety a lot, but I keep doing things I used to enjoy and it does help. I so appreciate therapists like you who understand this " condition". And give real help and guidance on how to maneuver through it. Thank you so much. It helps more than you know. 👍
You have much you enjoy dear! God bless. I truly do nothing but eat and my back exercises. No husband family or friends or church any long because of concussion symptoms
My Gosh, you sound like me....but I'm 63. I've been married 45 years and keep wondering why my husband just leave me. He's the go, go, go type. Blessings to you!
@@doonagoding6146 I'm so sorry. Sometimes I feel like nothing is worth the effort. You just have to hang on sometimes and know that everything changes all the time and better days will come. I hope you feel better soon.
As you said somewhere else, anhedonia sometimes feels like I just don't want to get out of the chair for any reason whatsoever. Everything is an effort.
Anhedonia is the worst torture I've ever had, still working on getting over it, so far a couple months of fitness has helped most. Thanks for helping people. It's almost impossible for people to grasp what your feeling without feeling it themselves. This is an awesome way to think about it, good job man.
Can anhedonia also felt like a boredom in a way? I basically feel nothing most of the times. I think anger is the only strong feeling I still do feel. But I live normal life, just everything feels boring, pointless or too exhausting.
Same, hurt anger fear loneliness. Pointless life. Nothing is real, Strawberry fields forever. It all sucks, basically. Looking for something to make me feel alive. Hopefully some day will come.
Literally me to a t. Why is anger fear and loneliness the only emotions I can feel. I honestly can't remeber a SINGLE time in my entire 45 yrs of life that I have ever ever ever felt love or happyness or joy. How fkn sad is thst
I have ADHD and tend toward depression, plus I'm old and the stacking metaphor works for me, kinda like saving money for a purchase. One dollar by itself is nothing, but seeing it as a "step" does give it some value. I can feel so low in the morning, but I have steps - coffee 😋, find a prayer on youtube 🙏, check comments or reactions to my posts 👍, straighten something (like make my bed or wipe a counter) 👏, take the dog to the barn to feed the horses 🏃♀️, write down each accomplishment with a line through it and a star🏆, but also write any ideas so later I may have saved up enough "accomplishment dollars" 💪to feel motivated toward an emotionally bigger challenge like texting a friend, or cleaning up myself to go to town, or making a decision for a purchase, or having a meaningful conversation with my husband. May God bless all who struggle with insight and fresh hope ❤️🙏❤️
I love analogies, and this is a great one. I was in that prison cell last week, but I was able to keep trying to stack up to the window. In case it might help anyone else reading this, the things that got me out of hell ( for that day, at least) were 1. connection with people that matter to me (this was by far the strongest positive effect) 2. nourishing food 3. meditation 4. a walk outside 5. watching comedy sketches (Viva la Dirt League are amazing) 6. music that I love 7. being kind- ish to myself for a change Not saying those exact things will work for everyone, but sometimes it helps to share ideas 💡
Stacking for me would be to get dressed - shower, brush teeth, do hair, then get myself + Pup outside for a walk by late morning. I must do this. It’s a daily struggle
The problems i find is that i have never felt joy since i can remember. I've always just been hypnotically going through the day. Video games never bring me joy, sports don't bring me joy, schools, friends, etc. I don't know who i am anymore. I don't know what to do. I've tried the things you mentioned but they haven't worked for the past years.
Thank you Dr. Scott for speaking so clearly on Anhedonia. I lost my 23 year old son to cancer a few years ago, and was doing okay for awhile because I choose to keep my head down and work and ignore the situation. Now years later and just after losing my job, I have time to reflect and I am in a terrible state. I realise he is not coming back and Anhedonia has set in. I have tried therapy etc. and nothing works, I find no joy in anything. But hearing you say to just try and step up on the box and get out of the prison......I do like to swim, but stopped for awhile, but maybe, just maybe I will try again. Thx.
I'm 63 and have suffered from depression for almost my entire life. Not wanting anything - not having the desire or the will for practically anything - has eaten my life accordingly. It's hard to go on. I did watch the video to the end, and I found Dr. Eilers suggestions uplifting. The mind also has the power to heal itself. I think that's the message underneath the message. I choose to not believe my thoughts or feelings are the only reality available to me. Examining my cognitive processes as the prison I have constructed for myself can help deconstruct the prison.
I am 63 and it’s good to know I’m not alone feeling like this, I still work part time and even though it’s hard at least it gets me out of the prison cell for a few hours
For me the emptiness and being utterly void of any feelings is hard to describe. I never want to go there again. From one psychologist to another, your videos about this difficult subject are clear and delightfully presented.
The prison cell analogy is the best I have heard to describe this condition. I have been in this cycle for a couple of months now. I have not had this happen for many years. Over the decades I developed the strategy for myself that you describe here. Thank you for sharing. It reinforces hope for me, and I can also share this video with others that it may help!
I've been suffering from major depressive disorder for such a very long time now that I feel like I've been immune to happiness my whole life. Recently, in May, I lost my childhood cat. Though not long after, in the beginning of August, my 2nd cat stopped eating and drinking water. My vet (and I) believe he let himself go. So after more than 10 years living and loving them... I lost both in the span of 3 months. I'm just learning about Anhedonia and it's nice to put a word and a diagnostic on it. So thanks... I shall seek help and evaluate if this fits. Anyway I just wanted to write some of my pain anywhere anyhow. Thanks!
😢 Sorry for you and your childhood cats. I have some joy in my anhedonia prison, of Tyson, a mixed Maine Coon'ish bred cat, so caring and attentive, but also very outdoors active male...his freedom may cost his life in some stupid accident...so I pray every morning that he will be there in the evening. It has worked well for soon to be 2 years😊
I hate people who say happiness is a choice. No it's not. No one wakes up and chooses to be unhappy and then proceeds to be unhappy for the day. Most people would choose to be happy if they could , but sometimes no matter how much you want to be happy and how many times you 'choose' happiness,it does not happen and quotes like this just make you feel a failure. So you are pressurised to act as though you 'chose' happiness that morning, in case you are seen a s a failure and some time after doing this act for too long and feeling a failure , suicide becomes an option. No one can feel a failure for ever or continue the act forever.
I can only feel one thing at the moment as I watch a couple of your videos that somebody is finally put a word or a name to the despair and The Emptiness I have felt that even five years of counseling haven't even begun to scratch
Relate to all of this, the constant nothingness. I went to a theme park last week, genuinely thought i might feel something on a rollercoaster - i felt nothing! Ive been feeling this for years though
Lol. But you enjoyed something or another once? Eating cereal in milk? Hot coco? Wandering around somewhere? A friend or a pet? A romance? Or a hobby or skill?
That's the 1 thng I can't get psst with this description to me. I literally can't remeber a single time feeling happy or joy or love, most of these people "lost it" like 4 months ago or 6 months ago or 2 yrs ago, they can all remember a time before "it" appeared, I can't... .
I love the metaphor and all the elements of it make sense. Thank you for such a compassionate, understanding and yet down to earth approach, I hope it will help a lot of people who struggle and fight battles invisible on the outside.
Thank you I don't enjoy feeling this way and I isolate because I don't want to bring anyone down with me. It's making it very difficult to be financially independent and contribute to my family. The anxiety attacks are so forking stupid, I know they are impractical but they are just relentless... I'm so ashamed of myself. I hate this.
Due to being in bed with covid a couple of times, I actually managed to go through my whole life and see that the ages of 12 to 18 were the best for me. A big group of friends in a small town, shared interests and experiences, big town nearby for weekly shopping for books, music etc. Plus I was a sci-fi geek who enjoyed going to libraries and second hand book shops. After being shunted around to different places, I lost and forgot about the company and simple pleasures I used to enjoy.
I love you. I know I'm a 62 year old man with just a little foot fungs and all and that that might get a little creepy for some people and everything but I azure you, it's just the fact that I just found hope here. I've been close to ending the misery myself a time or two in my many years of suffering from this. I never realized...
@@emu1028 me too, dealing with it bad right now. Health issues don't help. if your a male have your testosterone checked. I'm going to make myself go to gym tomorrow, sleep earlier tonight, hydrate, lay off the beers, i'm desperate.
Thank you for this. I hope these work. I'm struggling more than ever. Before, my depression had me breaking down and crying for no reason, feeling pain in my heart, having doubts and fears clutter my mind- but, now it's become anhedonia....... and, personally, I'd give anything to have that deep sadness again over emptiness. I don't feel anything. I don't feel alive. It's complete torture...
Still my favorite of all, had to return to it today.....been in the cell for a while now. I love the creativity of the cell concept and the two sets of views...the door or the window. And Dr Scott can actually make me laugh even though I'm at the bottom. I don't know what I would do without Dr Scott's videos available whenever I need support. Luv ya Dr Scott !
The stacking is true. I have days where i have to work, hike really hard, go out to an event and then when i get home im actually really happy to feel my soft bed and be in my quiet room watching yt. I love those moments. I remember how good they feel.
I’m on the Autism spectrum and I am in an emotional straight jacket. Except when stress leads me to irritability and rage. I don’t experience joy. I’m a sole proprietor/artist and when work comes in to save me financially, I don’t jump for joy, I feel more like:”it’s about time”. I had a 3ton sculpture all set up for commission for a housing development. What happens? Ridiculous floods that put the developers over budget. Cancels the sculpture. I was totally relying on that to get me out of debt. No sadness. No anger. Just, “oh well, move on”. An export order of chandeliers and ornate European driveway gates? Quote accepted, customer over the moon with the designs. Money as big as the sculpture. Customer moves the goalposts to where it wasn’t possible for me to work in those timelines. “Oh well, move on”. The irritability is mounting and I’m due for a rage meltdown. I retreat from especially family bc I know I’ll explode at any time, and I’m not putting myself in that situation for the hundredth time. Am I depressed? I don’t think so, although I’m not sure how I feel generally. Alexithymia? Probably.
Oh my God. Artist here. It feels impossible to be a 'professional' unless I start doing shit-digital. I'm traditional. The viewer is a complete illiterate moron. They love AI 'art', though!
As someone who has struggled with Anhedonia for over 20 years, I have done the "stacking". I have continued to do the things that brought me joy and satisfaction. These include exercising, walking, biking, tennis, being outdoors... I have pushed myself forward but there has been no relief from Anhedonia. It has maintained it's grip on me and continues to affect every aspect of my life including relationships. There has to be a real answer. I pray I will find it soon.
This strategy has worked for me!!! I cannot express the relief I felt when I found myself back in a normal 'enjoying life' state again. At the time I was just trying to get through the day without committing suicide. At a loss, I simply started to reflect on the things that used to bring me joy and happiness previously and just a little I was able to move towards a better place. That was the turning point. I believe how I felt had to do with some ADHD medication that I had stopped taking. If you're feeling like you're in the prison cell, breathe, close your eyes and just visualize a previous time when you were having fun and feeling joy. You may just flip the switch.
This is great advice. The only problem for me is its been soooo long. I dont enjoy what i use to anymore and theres nothing that currently brings me joy. I suppose that means i need to try new things even if they will disappoint me. Really appreciate this video.
Thanks for this video , Dr. Scott. I was diagnosed with major depression , suicidal, and gad. I can finally say im 4 months clean off benzos. This video was very knowledgeable way more than my own pcp or psych.
What if nothing brings you joy that you can do? For example, I used to go canoeing, but I have fibromyalgia that doesn’t allow it. I used to volunteer a lot and it made me feel fabulous but I don’t have the physical energy to do it anymore. Most of what brought me joy was taken away by health issues.
I understand that..I have severe arthritis. I used to walk...every day, every where and now my joints hurt so much I can't...I've tried to push myself but it feels worse, not better
@@pearpo Did all that with FM/CFS/ME. Fine for a few treatments then nothing. I felt like a guinea pig in a lab experiment - different meds that did everything (including making everything else worse). But treat the illnesses. Coupled with childhood on depression, arthritis, hypothyroidism, chronic migraine. Right now I am weighed down in a vat of treacle. Nothing gets me revved up anymore. Not even doing art. Have lost so many dear ones in the past three years that I question why I am still here. The isolation is getting worse. The only bright spot in my life is my cat that I got almost two years ago. She is the reason I get up each day.
I love the idea of trying the door every day. You are right, it doesn't always open, but every now and then it does, and a sliver of light, maybe even joy slips through.
This is exactly how I am feeling. I wrote down last night “why I am I never happy anymore” because I didn’t understand the absence of joy I felt. My life feels like an endless series of work and obligations. As I watched your video I was completely stuck to recognise what actually brings me joy…I honestly don’t know the answer to that question.
I had a severe major depressive episode in late 2019-2021, then alot of losses happened in my life. After all the depression and grief had come and gone, anhedonia is the one thing that's stuck around. It comes and goes but boy does it say hello when it comes around. Everything just gets heavy and just feels like to much effort without any reward. It's like being hungry but food doesnt give you any relief so you just stop eating. If I didnt have a job, I would probably be stuck in bed all day. I just miss being excited about stuff and I try. I try setting up these small milestones, but they either fall through or they dont bring me any joy at all. I keep trying, but I'm afraid of the day where I'll completely give up.
Thank You. I've started watching your video. Since I lost my son 7 years ago I can't feel much.Ive had depression and anxiety my entire life but I kept going on and living My kids are the Best part of my life. Since my son died(he was 28) I don't see the other 2 much. He lived close to me with his family. The other 2 used to come visit,for 7 years I've seen them a few times. It changed us all. I put myself in this cell. Alone 24/7,having lupus 28 years, 20 years I fought it and kept going. I don't know how to fight anymore. Your videos r one thing I look forward too. Thank you.
This is stunning. I've been diagnosed with depression and agoraphobia, but this sounds like *me.* I need to take a good look into this. Thank you, for giving voice to what I deal with. I check my door locks, several times a day. Even when I'm the only one here.
Thank you for speaking on this! The prison analogy is good. I first experienced anhedonia a few years back and it was the strangest and most alien mindset I've ever encountered. It almost feels like being a ghost in your own life. It's not even a feeling of sadness or defeat, it's just... nothing... I've gone through seasons of depression since I was pretty young, but never actually knew anhedonia until just a few years back. An odd but successful way of dealing with it has actually been; to not care that I don't care, and just do something anyways. It feels almost absolutely impossible in the moment but if you can just get the willpower, throw it on your shoulders and just do something in that moment, you will begin to feel fulfilment even if it doesn't make the anhedonia go away. Best regards to everyone else in the anhedonia prison. You CAN get through it. And when it returns, you CAN get through it again. Be kind to yourself. ❤
Ive watched a handful of your videos now. It's amazing how you describe things I can never even put into words. How I feel. It's like you're right in my head.
I read psychology and self-help books all my life. They offer insight, but you are on your own in seeking solutions. You have solutions, you really do! I just sent two of your videos to my sister, who is in a medical profession and dealing with terrible stress, and stacking up more stress due to aging, with not much of a social support system. I wasn't able to help her until I sent her your videos on freeze response and anhedonia. She sounded thrilled to have discovered a psychologist who has solutions that really work! Without your solutions, I would possibly have just curled up on the couch, useless in old age, and died. Thank you! Your book is what everybody gets for Xmas!
So encouraging indeed. I am out of prison with the help of friends, family, and an antidepressant. It is a frightening, lonely and sad way to live and I may have to deal with it again someday. But like you said, I have confidence and assurance that trouble don't last always as the common elderly folk say. Thank you!!
I see my wife every day struggle to be a part of what's going on out side the house. She said the exact same thing it's like there a wall and she's invisible to people. Her biggest saying is that she's on a different time line then every one else. That there no since in participation. 💔 I am supporting her the best way I can
I am so glad she has you! My husband was a stabilizing factor to me for sanity. He died of cancer over 4 yrs ago. So glad you’re hanging in there for her. Many blessings on you both!
At 25, I was diagnosed with severe depression and a year later hypothyroidism. I'm also dealing with a borderline personality. Feeling empty, disconnected is something I know very well. Not only I can't enjoy anything anymore, I also feel apathy. I have no energy or motivation. I feel like a robot, out of real purpose and only here to fill up a blank space until someone else fills it. Getting older is quite a challenge as well because this ain't getting better. I started to feel a little relief by having no expectations. I just accepted myself the way I am and I give myself the right to be me. Screw them, I know it sounds disconnected again, but beside therapists, I don't know many people who can actually understand unless they live a similar experience.
this video helped me understand how i feel and what im feeling. it also reminded me that i won't overcome my Anhedonia over night, it takes time thank you!
I really get annoyed when people say look at all the good you have in your life and others have it worse or you have nothing to be unhappy about . Uh yeah . Then you feel worse for feeling the way you do. Thank you for this video. I’ll try this .
Thank you for the message of hope today. I have certainly become an escape artist but I have begun to struggle again. The window in my cell keeps rising. But because I kept listening to your messages throughout the day, I was able to move myself slowly and made things a bit easier for "tomorrow me". Thank you. ❤
Excellent. On down days try soft tasks meditation ..long showers...soft music. Review past lifestyle...chase joy not excitement. Make joy happiness selfcare a daily must. Good luck
I'm going through it right now, and in my case I think one of the causes is burnout, so it is a self protective mechanism against further stress by means of "shutting down". Maybe the stress is self generated, you know, by thinking too much. So it can perpetuate itself that way. If you just sit in a chair and when you have an unwanted thought, just disengage from it. That is the best way that I can describe the procedure. I use it whenever I need to get to sleep.
Thanks so much for your outreach, Dr. Scott...there's a great degree of transparency to your talks, and the degree to which you're prepared to share personal experience.in context is refreshing. Today I'm trying a change in direction thanks to your suggestions...it might not feel spectacular as an effort right away, but I trust to the idea of a cumulative effect with effort.🌿
Since I came across your channel I really been pondering everything that you have said and it first was really excited to finally put a word to what I was feeling but it has recently hit me that really all that means is we actually do realize the pointlessness of our lives and ultimately we die we are really just used as the higher-ups ponds for their agendas until we die wash rinse repeat there is no point to any of this I wish so much that I could feel stuff again because it would also mean I was oblivious to my ultimate demise as everybody else. You can't deny the fact that people once they pass away or easily forgotten if not there be lines for visitation in two cemeteries and if you can't even be remembered then what the hell is the point in waking up there isn't any
I absolutely agree with what you say. it really astounds me how most people just keep going. It looks like the only way forward is just to accept it. like if you lost an arm or have an accident from which you don't fully recover. keep trying and look the other way. this game called life is really weird...
Thanks. This is helpful. Without knowing, I’ve tried these tips. Sometimes I can catch myself with just a very cautious glimmer of possibility to feel something. The trees look brighter. Everything looks less fuzzy for a while. Acupuncture with a competent TCM doctor has also helped me.
Thank you for all your efforts to post. You have an amazing talent for making a point and making an argument for so many details affecting we afflicted ❤
You’re the only person I’ve heard that really describes the experience of being depressed and empty accurately. I can listen to you because you get it.
Same here.!! So many things I enjoyed,.. even the little other things.... once I lost my career job,.. life was ripped out of me!... hard to explain to friends, family, neighbors. It's like I got unplugged.
I'm an LPC and really value your videos. Thanks for doing what you do. I played one video for a client and he really enjoyed how you explain things so well and understandably.
I thoroughly enjoy listening to you talk and explain the different issues of mental illness. And the exceptional advice on what to do to help when you're struggling, Very very good. I have already watched 3 or 4 videos in a row. And I'm so glad I found your channel. You explain things so well, I wish I lived in your state so I could make some appointments For therapy, you are very articulate and explain things very well. The way that you communicate holds my attention. I don't know why but there are so many TH-cam channels that I can't listen to. When people talk real slow or they talk real fast, or the tone of their voice is annoying to lisren to 6:02 . I can't handle it. I have to change the channel.
Dr Scott, you have been the MOST effective therapy in the four years that i have been living with this miserable beast....thank you for helping us. Thank you for reminding us to 'check the door', gives me hope. You are such a gift to us !
The most common advice I'm getting right now is gratitude lists. But gratitude is also something I cannot feel! I can make a list good things, but that's not the same as really appreciating them and thinking that they make life worth continuing...
Yes! This is where the struggle between being intellectually aware and emotionally connected is. Intellectually, I am grateful for a lot. Emotionally, I have no connection to the feeling of gratitude. A list just seems like another pointless chore.
I felt too much when I was a kid and I wished that it would stop. And it did at the age of 30. I remember when it started, it was like something broke in me but my feelings went away slowly. I am comfortable this way. My constant anxiety, social awkwardness, etc. eased up. I live my life like before but without the emotional exhaustion and stress, I am functioning better than before, I am more confident and bold. But sometimes I miss feelings, and I know they are still there but I can't get to them.
It's so hard when there are things you must do to get better from things like depression. But there's nothing driving you forward. Of course you want to feel better, because that's the nature of "negative" emotions. And you have to shame yourself into brushing your teeth and showering once a week just so they happen, or the physical discomfort forces you to do them. And when you do accomplish those things, you feel nothing. I have tried many meds and my current meds help but they don't touch the anhedonia or fatigue or apathy
Thanks for your heartfelt effort to rescue sufferers from a failed life experience. Failure is not a choice nor is it a defeat. Renewal of the effort to succeed is necessary. Surprise, surprise, a small window of opportunity may yet be opened wide by your resolve to renounce failure and make your life better. Excellent podcast, so helpful and inspiring.
“I have gum.” 😊 This gave me a chuckle. Really, though, the little things are EVERYTHING. What a great memory palace for strategizing before I get locked in again. 💌
Theres the word for that "feeling" of not feeling. I said "I feel like a ghost". Wasn't sure I was alive. Now I know there is validation & ways/tools to help. Thank you Dr Scott.❤
Anhedonia for me exists for two reasons. One, every single thing that used to bring me joy is no longer available to me. Tangibly, they no longer exist. Second, I feel guilty whenever I feel joy because I know there are billions of people around the world suffering far worse than I. It feels wrong to enjoy my coffee when I know that thousands of people will die of starvation today. Then I feel guilty because I am not accepting the coffee that God gave me with thankful joy. What seems to work for me best is taking the stoic approach, concentrate on what I can do and ignore what I can't.
The serenity prayer from AA mirrors your thoughts: God grant me the will to change the things I can, accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference. Bless you in your journey.
That’s religious condemnation no doubt we’ve had similar experiences of oh people have it worse than you’re privileged. But the thing is you have every right to feel like you can’t be happy we both do because we’re human beings with our own peaks and valleys.
I refer to ‘standstill’ a nexus point where you literally stop-dead in your tracks and see nothing good ahead, only bad behind and not much point in visiting either one? I ask since I feel like I have hit that point. The place where baggage finally gets so heavy it actually forces you to stand still - it’s a weird place. Again, looking back with regret and forward with dread can only be expressed through complete incapacitation. A state of inaction bordered by the suffocating thoughts of both what has been and what lies in store! How to just drop those bags? - what a great idea!
Interesting. Any bags usually give me something to do. Puzzle it through and sort it out. When I don’t have the bags it’s even more boring. Just Zen. Not terrible.
@@squidward66 well yeah that’s kind of it - stuck so completely and perfectly. The only option is to forget everything before and reinvent everything that is to be. Exquisite balance, the yin and the yang, the body and the shadow. Let me know if you figure a way forward, or sideways, or even backwards Good luck to you.
Ok! I’ve had this for forever. That’s what I call depression. Never able to feel joy, even if I’m currently laughing…..it’s like being detached from positive emotions. I think just to feel normal happiness would feel like bliss to me cause I’ve been a prisoner a loooong time and I’ve had an extremely traumatic series of events in my life. My kitten actually has stirred some long feelings in me. I realize Houdini (my cat) is real and adorable and the joy of loving something very much is peaking back thru. If I said that to someone tho, I don’t think they’d understand. Omg I just became aware Houdini was an escape artist and the fact he helps me escape my “cell” is an interesting coincidence! Lol I named him that about a month before seeing this! I think anhedonia is fundamentally like saying no to everything. It’s being unhappy with everything, thinking it should be a different way than it is. Yoga is going to bring me back. I will say hoping to do something enjoyable, when it doesn’t feel that way (and it used to be) is massive suffering. I think this video is going to be very consequential in helping me get to positive emotions. It’s because of our brains. We seek pleasure and avoid pain. But doing both is suffering!! Wanting pleasure when you are in pain hurts worse than the actual pain. I think people experiencing this have the capacity to spiritually awaken. It takes a lot of suffering to wake up.
I am very thankful I found your channel, it has been helpful & encouraging. The struggle with Anhedonia is real, but I do try to push myself to keep doing things and going Outside, even though most of the time I hate it. But secretly hold the hope I might find joy. I remember being happy, when I had my dogs, worked on my art and rode horses. But now I hide away from everything afraid to go out, I want to have a dog again, go riding and let all the artistic visions I've had come alive, but I feel that I can't. I feel trapped. But I DO want out so very badly.
For me, the hardest part is the loss of desire. A lack of want for ANYTHING. Deciding on food to eat, things to occupy my time. You just get utterly stuck. I can do things if there's a demand!! But i can't make the demand emerge from within.
I feel the same way
Can you make a to-do list of enjoyable things? Set an alarm three tlmes a day for when you have to do at least one of those things? You can create your own external motivation.
And if it helps: Go make that list right now, please. Do it for me. Find at least ten small and five medium things for that list. You get extra credit for each additional item.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
I feel this way and was diagnosed with clinical depression but have just found lack of motivation is a sign of having ADHD - you can do it if you have to, if you have to, it’s treatable with medication or if you don’t want that then there are strategies to create the challenge that having to do something gives you (it’s connected with dopamine levels). Might be worth you trying an online test for it. For me it put a new perspective on the roots of the depression.
If you can’t identify with ADHD the strategies might still work for you🤞
@miezepups15 that,s the thing I don't find joy in doing anything, just all feels pointless.
You know what I find so sad is when someone asks me what I do for fun and not only can’t I give an answer but honestly I don’t even know what fun looks like anymore.
Exactly I can't remember how happiness used to be anymore
Ditto , I force myself to like some hobbies ,
But everytime I end up getting bored
They want to tell you what they do for fun.
it's been almost 2 years living like this. Sometimes i just want to snap out of this and know how it feels to be happy.
Hi, how are you after 7 months?
You DO know! It’s a bit of a relief just hearing someone talk about it realistically.
true
Yeah
I wanted to cry.
💯
Yes it's little much happy to hear it
Every day i walk my dog. If it wasnt for him, i dont think id do anything at all. Its something i used to love, working with animals, training my dogs. Now its a chore to do. But i keep hoping that one day, I'll realize im enjoying it again. My adult daughter is also great at continuing to invite me to things that she knows i used to enjoy. Even tho i decline 99% of the time, she keeps asking, never being judgemental or visibly disappointed. That kind of support means so much.
You have an Awesome daughter and a beautiful Dog. I absolutely love my Dogs for getting me out into the sunshine. As I get older I also make sure to take care of my spiritual health too, prayer and reading the Holy Bible, especially the book of Psalms ❤
You have a beautiful daughter ❤
Ive been over 4 years sober from alcohol. Depressive disorder. ADHD. I suffer from anhedonia. There's no other word for it than suffer. It's quiet suffering too, almost despair at times. Stay Strong, friends.
It’s sort of a relief to know I’m not alone here and that many others go through the same thing. I’d never wish it on anyone, but it helps to get ideas from others and knowing I’m not just a failure.
@@alison5009 stay strong.
How true your words......"almost despair at times".
I’m glad I’m not alone in this struggle. Music just sounds like a bunch of sound, gaming is extremely boring, I have no will to do new things, the list goes on. The emptiness and suffering makes it even harder for me to cope / get a grasp of this illness.
Did the depression/anhedonia start once sober? Or were they always there? I drank on and off (mostly on) from 17 to 46. Stayed sober for nearly a year... Couldn't relax, no pleasure. No improvement in depression and anhedonia (which had been there since childhood).
The most positive emotion I can manufacture for myself is mellow satisfaction. “Okay, good, I did that. Task complete.”
My anhedonia is caused by my severe depression. My severe depression is caused by my severe anxiety. My severe anxiety stopped me living a “normal” life from about the age of 12.
I also have DPDR, and the world hasn’t felt real to me for 30 years.
I feel like screaming. I feel desperate. Medication doesn’t help. Therapists don’t hang around long enough for me to make real progress.
I tried to be normal. When I discovered I could not handle it, I shut down.
Just existing is so hard. I’m so exhausted.
That's how I feel. I've pretty much lived my entire life uninspired, unmotivated, and downright lost. It is exhausting, for sure.
I’m so sorry you feel this way 🤗 could you possibly research/try a ketogenic diet? The brain works much much better when it’s fuelled by ketones rather than glucose 👍 wishing you all the best ❤️
Menopause has stripped all joy from my life. It's been 3 years since I felt truly happy,motivated and productive. Joy has almost completely disappeared. The only thing I look forward to is getting in bed at the end of another pointless day. I drag myself through each day just for my children. They need me to keep putting 1 foot in front of the other. They are the only thing that bring me any kind of joy now.
100% relate!
I hope you can regain some joy soon❤even just brief moments of Joy. My dogs remind me to stop and smell the roses(they literally smell every blade of grass 😂). But even tiny things like feeling the sunshine on my face, taking that moment to just relax and breath. Endurance with glimmers of Joy❤
This is exactly how I feel too. Severe depression, anxiety, OCD and menopause have almost made me end my life. I think about it every single day.
@@cyndihauptman5857I’m sorry that you are having such negative feelings. I hope you have a friend or someone that loves you. Or someone that you love. Please love yourself too ❤
Hormones are😠😡 today I had an appointment in a garden for volunteerwork and it was sunny outside ☀️she was explaining everything what was groing there, we sat outside in a really nice environment 🌱🌻and I just felt nothing😑 I acted all enthousiastic and was all like 'I love to learn new things' 😏 but I didn't feel it. I mean 'on paper' this sounds so nice and you should think I would feel a little bit of excitement but nothing. But I have this with everything,.. the only thing I want is being left alone and watch tv or going on a long vacation and not coming back😂
It feels even more self defeating when I dabble with hobbies I used to enjoy but no motivation comes to continue.
It makes me avoid the activity even more because it triggers despair and hopelessness.
Ironically, recently the only things that have got me out are self destructive and that's even worse than staying at home.
I'm with you. I bought a bunch of equipment I always thought I'd enjoy working with, because we always had it available when I was a kid. I barely touch it. There's just no feeling at all associated with using it. It's another task to be completed, but with no real reason for doing it. It's got to be biochemical. There's just no reward feedback system in place to tell you that you're having fun. I don't know what the answer is, but I hope you find one.
Damn, this is so relatable. I'm currently stuck. I always get the urge to write a story, but every time I sit down to do it, I feel nothing. There's nothing I want to write about, no story I want to tell, no idea I care enough about to research. But then, I force myself to write anyway and after a good amount of time writing, I sit there and I'm like, "nope, life's still boring as fuck." What makes it frustrating is that this is what happened with another hobby I used to love. No matter how much I did and learned more and improved, it never brought me any sort of satisfaction whatsoever, beyond short-term relief from the emptiness.
@@abbliee5439 I feel ya. It sucks when the things you thought you enjoyed are just another task on an endless todo list. I tried the pills. All they did was make me more likely to do things that weren't in my best interest. Still, there have been times when I did something I didn't really expect to do, and then later realized I enjoyed it. Damn busted brain. I wish I had an idea to give you.
Can you have this from high anxiety,Im tapering off a benzo, I can’t watch tv, or listen to music because I can’t feel it in my soul. Just fear.
@@abbliee5439this is so relatable... I have this feeling with painting. I just don't feel inspired anymore lately, but when I have this little bit of inspiration it's gone when I sit down, it feels useless.. I am like I am sitting here alone painting and just feel numb or frustrated when I ruined another painting/paper again. Tonight I put all my paintings away (frustrated and emotional) and cleaned my palette and I feel like I have to just take a break for a while.
I lost the will to live years ago. The whole world is a prison to me and yet i keep breathing and waking up everyday...
Prison, BINGO!
I hate waking up. And the realization that I can't just stay in bed, it makes my body hurt, but what is there to get up for? I make breakfast but I can't have a lot of good stuff because I'm diabetic, so no pancakes, no toast, no cereal.
It's horrible.
I was like this a few years ago.
But then I realized, I don't want to end it, I am too curious about the future.
And after that, I started creating plans, goals to achieve for me and for my family.
I always find something to do (learning new things, fixing stuff around the house, etc.)
I had a sh1tty childhood with so much stress and anxiety, and I am relieved that all these feeling went away (forever, I hope).
How did they go away
@@mattkolb3626 Something happened to me, and I think that was the last straw for my mental health. My emotions just... disappeared slowly and now I rarely feel anything, all positive emotion is gone, not the anxiety tho, I still have it but it isn't that bad anymore.
If I remember correctly this is called anhedonia or something.
This doesn't mean I don't laugh or cry and stuff... it is hard to explain, really.
I've struggled with depression, and anhedonia on and off all of my life. My husband of forty years walked away from the marriage without warning six years ago and since then it's been like my joy switch in my brain has been turned off, but I keep going and I will not be defeated. I love painting and crafting. I love going to the beach and just being submerged in any body of water. I love being with my dog. I love getting a Starbucks mocha coffee. I love my favorite shows on TV and I love chatting with my family and friends. I still never feel excited or very hopeful and I have anxiety a lot, but I keep doing things I used to enjoy and it does help. I so appreciate therapists like you who understand this " condition". And give real help and guidance on how to maneuver through it. Thank you so much. It helps more than you know. 👍
You have much you enjoy dear! God bless.
I truly do nothing but eat and my back exercises.
No husband family or friends or church any long because of concussion symptoms
My Gosh, you sound like me....but I'm 63. I've been married 45 years and keep wondering why my husband just leave me. He's the go, go, go type. Blessings to you!
@@bsun3219 If you're suffering then I'm sorry. You're not a therapist, and you don't know me, so you don't know what my life is like. I wish you well.
It’s good that you have those loves. I’m really down lately
@@doonagoding6146 I'm so sorry. Sometimes I feel like nothing is worth the effort. You just have to hang on sometimes and know that everything changes all the time and better days will come. I hope you feel better soon.
As you said somewhere else, anhedonia sometimes feels like I just don't want to get out of the chair for any reason whatsoever. Everything is an effort.
Anhedonia is the worst torture I've ever had, still working on getting over it, so far a couple months of fitness has helped most. Thanks for helping people. It's almost impossible for people to grasp what your feeling without feeling it themselves. This is an awesome way to think about it, good job man.
Good for you working out.
@@SuzyM-y2n it absolutely helps
Psych meds caused me permanent anhedonia
@@A.GAMBINO-i1jthat's scary. I contemplate getting off of them. Are you off of them now?
@emu1028 do you smoke, drink, or other drugs like benzos?
do you exercise?
I'm just thankful I live at a time where you can be available through TH-cam so I don't feel so alone.
Can anhedonia also felt like a boredom in a way? I basically feel nothing most of the times. I think anger is the only strong feeling I still do feel. But I live normal life, just everything feels boring, pointless or too exhausting.
Yes absolutely. In another video I describe it as life without color ❤️
Same, hurt anger fear loneliness. Pointless life. Nothing is real, Strawberry fields forever. It all sucks, basically. Looking for something to make me feel alive. Hopefully some day will come.
@@zoeazsss5035what means strawberry fields forever?
@@heinmolenaar6750 For me it means in Beatles song "nothing is real" its all pointless. Its all for nothing.
Literally me to a t. Why is anger fear and loneliness the only emotions I can feel. I honestly can't remeber a SINGLE time in my entire 45 yrs of life that I have ever ever ever felt love or happyness or joy. How fkn sad is thst
I have ADHD and tend toward depression, plus I'm old and the stacking metaphor works for me, kinda like saving money for a purchase. One dollar by itself is nothing, but seeing it as a "step" does give it some value. I can feel so low in the morning, but I have steps - coffee 😋, find a prayer on youtube 🙏, check comments or reactions to my posts 👍, straighten something (like make my bed or wipe a counter) 👏, take the dog to the barn to feed the horses 🏃♀️, write down each accomplishment with a line through it and a star🏆, but also write any ideas so later I may have saved up enough "accomplishment dollars" 💪to feel motivated toward an emotionally bigger challenge like texting a friend, or cleaning up myself to go to town, or making a decision for a purchase, or having a meaningful conversation with my husband. May God bless all who struggle with insight and fresh hope ❤️🙏❤️
I love analogies, and this is a great one.
I was in that prison cell last week, but I was able to keep trying to stack up to the window. In case it might help anyone else reading this, the things that got me out of hell ( for that day, at least) were 1. connection with people that matter to me (this was by far the strongest positive effect) 2. nourishing food 3. meditation 4. a walk outside 5. watching comedy sketches (Viva la Dirt League are amazing) 6. music that I love 7. being kind- ish to myself for a change
Not saying those exact things will work for everyone, but sometimes it helps to share ideas 💡
Stacking for me would be to get dressed - shower, brush teeth, do hair, then get myself + Pup outside for a walk by late morning. I must do this. It’s a daily struggle
I can relate
The problems i find is that i have never felt joy since i can remember. I've always just been hypnotically going through the day. Video games never bring me joy, sports don't bring me joy, schools, friends, etc. I don't know who i am anymore. I don't know what to do. I've tried the things you mentioned but they haven't worked for the past years.
Amen you described me to a T no joy I drag myself thru the day 🥹
Thank you Dr. Scott for speaking so clearly on Anhedonia. I lost my 23 year old son to cancer a few years ago, and was doing okay for awhile because I choose to keep my head down and work and ignore the situation. Now years later and just after losing my job, I have time to reflect and I am in a terrible state. I realise he is not coming back and Anhedonia has set in. I have tried therapy etc. and nothing works, I find no joy in anything.
But hearing you say to just try and step up on the box and get out of the prison......I do like to swim, but stopped for awhile, but maybe, just maybe I will try again. Thx.
I'm 63 and have suffered from depression for almost my entire life. Not wanting anything - not having the desire or the will for practically anything - has eaten my life accordingly. It's hard to go on. I did watch the video to the end, and I found Dr. Eilers suggestions uplifting. The mind also has the power to heal itself. I think that's the message underneath the message. I choose to not believe my thoughts or feelings are the only reality available to me. Examining my cognitive processes as the prison I have constructed for myself can help deconstruct the prison.
This is an incredibly insightful comment ❤❤
I am 63 and it’s good to know I’m not alone feeling like this, I still work part time and even though it’s hard at least it gets me out of the prison cell for a few hours
There's no healing from this.
@@mywifesboyfriend5558There isnt?
What@@mywifesboyfriend5558
For me the emptiness and being utterly void of any feelings is hard to describe. I never want to go there again. From one psychologist to another, your videos about this difficult subject are clear and delightfully presented.
The prison cell analogy is the best I have heard to describe this condition. I have been in this cycle for a couple of months now. I have not had this happen for many years. Over the decades I developed the strategy for myself that you describe here. Thank you for sharing. It reinforces hope for me, and I can also share this video with others that it may help!
I've been suffering from major depressive disorder for such a very long time now that I feel like I've been immune to happiness my whole life. Recently, in May, I lost my childhood cat. Though not long after, in the beginning of August, my 2nd cat stopped eating and drinking water. My vet (and I) believe he let himself go. So after more than 10 years living and loving them... I lost both in the span of 3 months. I'm just learning about Anhedonia and it's nice to put a word and a diagnostic on it. So thanks... I shall seek help and evaluate if this fits.
Anyway I just wanted to write some of my pain anywhere anyhow. Thanks!
So, your cat suicided? Sounded like that after your first cat died the second one felt loneliness and tried to kill himself.
😢 Sorry for you and your childhood cats. I have some joy in my anhedonia prison, of Tyson, a mixed Maine Coon'ish bred cat, so caring and attentive, but also very outdoors active male...his freedom may cost his life in some stupid accident...so I pray every morning that he will be there in the evening. It has worked well for soon to be 2 years😊
I lost my best doggie friend, Daisy ) Boston Terrier) in May and I’m still grieving too much.
I hate people who say happiness is a choice. No it's not. No one wakes up and chooses to be unhappy and then proceeds to be unhappy for the day. Most people would choose to be happy if they could , but sometimes no matter how much you want to be happy and how many times you 'choose' happiness,it does not happen and quotes like this just make you feel a failure. So you are pressurised to act as though you 'chose' happiness that morning, in case you are seen a s a failure and some time after doing this act for too long and feeling a failure , suicide becomes an option. No one can feel a failure for ever or continue the act forever.
True! 💯💯
Happiness is not a choice , and it's hard to find motivation when nothing seems to make you happy.
It's just to feel contentment really as few people are actually happy all the time. Just to feel normal.
We r not failures. The world has changed abd has failed us.
I think this guy just gave the best explanation I’ve ever heard for anhedonia🔥
I can only feel one thing at the moment as I watch a couple of your videos that somebody is finally put a word or a name to the despair and The Emptiness I have felt that even five years of counseling haven't even begun to scratch
Relate to all of this, the constant nothingness. I went to a theme park last week, genuinely thought i might feel something on a rollercoaster - i felt nothing! Ive been feeling this for years though
"I will get back to my life."
And there's the rub. Some of us never had one to start with.
Lol. But you enjoyed something or another once? Eating cereal in milk? Hot coco? Wandering around somewhere? A friend or a pet? A romance? Or a hobby or skill?
@@pearpoDoesn't mean you'll ever feel like that again.
That's the 1 thng I can't get psst with this description to me. I literally can't remeber a single time feeling happy or joy or love, most of these people "lost it" like 4 months ago or 6 months ago or 2 yrs ago, they can all remember a time before "it" appeared, I can't...
.
@@Amandahugginkizz I feel you.
You can’t live a life constantly trying to escape a prison.
I love the metaphor and all the elements of it make sense. Thank you for such a compassionate, understanding and yet down to earth approach, I hope it will help a lot of people who struggle and fight battles invisible on the outside.
Thank you
I don't enjoy feeling this way and I isolate because I don't want to bring anyone down with me. It's making it very difficult to be financially independent and contribute to my family. The anxiety attacks are so forking stupid, I know they are impractical but they are just relentless... I'm so ashamed of myself. I hate this.
❤
I wish there was a reliable tip like this for when it's been so long you can't even remember what you used to enjoy.
Due to being in bed with covid a couple of times, I actually managed to go through my whole life and see that the ages of 12 to 18 were the best for me. A big group of friends in a small town, shared interests and experiences, big town nearby for weekly shopping for books, music etc. Plus I was a sci-fi geek who enjoyed going to libraries and second hand book shops.
After being shunted around to different places, I lost and forgot about the company and simple pleasures I used to enjoy.
I love you. I know I'm a 62 year old man with just a little foot fungs and all and that that might get a little creepy for some people and everything but I azure you, it's just the fact that I just found hope here. I've been close to ending the misery myself a time or two in my many years of suffering from this. I never realized...
Wow , finally someone gave a solution 🙂. It's a soul crushing condition. I find myself back in this situation again and again.
what's helped you the most
@@emu1028 me too, dealing with it bad right now. Health issues don't help. if your a male have your testosterone checked. I'm going to make myself go to gym tomorrow, sleep earlier tonight, hydrate, lay off the beers, i'm desperate.
Thank you for this. I hope these work. I'm struggling more than ever. Before, my depression had me breaking down and crying for no reason, feeling pain in my heart, having doubts and fears clutter my mind- but, now it's become anhedonia....... and, personally, I'd give anything to have that deep sadness again over emptiness. I don't feel anything. I don't feel alive. It's complete torture...
Still my favorite of all, had to return to it today.....been in the cell for a while now. I love the creativity of the cell concept and the two sets of views...the door or the window. And Dr Scott can actually make me laugh even though I'm at the bottom. I don't know what I would do without Dr Scott's videos available whenever I need support. Luv ya Dr Scott !
The stacking is true. I have days where i have to work, hike really hard, go out to an event and then when i get home im actually really happy to feel my soft bed and be in my quiet room watching yt. I love those moments. I remember how good they feel.
11 months later I Still have anhedonia off and on the majority of the time. Still going thru the motions. Still stacking. Getting harder though.
I’m on the Autism spectrum and I am in an emotional straight jacket. Except when stress leads me to irritability and rage. I don’t experience joy. I’m a sole proprietor/artist and when work comes in to save me financially, I don’t jump for joy, I feel more like:”it’s about time”. I had a 3ton sculpture all set up for commission for a housing development. What happens? Ridiculous floods that put the developers over budget. Cancels the sculpture. I was totally relying on that to get me out of debt. No sadness. No anger. Just, “oh well, move on”. An export order of chandeliers and ornate European driveway gates? Quote accepted, customer over the moon with the designs. Money as big as the sculpture. Customer moves the goalposts to where it wasn’t possible for me to work in those timelines. “Oh well, move on”. The irritability is mounting and I’m due for a rage meltdown. I retreat from especially family bc I know I’ll explode at any time, and I’m not putting myself in that situation for the hundredth time. Am I depressed? I don’t think so, although I’m not sure how I feel generally. Alexithymia? Probably.
Oh my God. Artist here. It feels impossible to be a 'professional' unless I start doing shit-digital. I'm traditional. The viewer is a complete illiterate moron. They love AI 'art', though!
As someone who has struggled with Anhedonia for over 20 years, I have done the "stacking". I have continued to do the things that brought me joy and satisfaction. These include exercising, walking, biking, tennis, being outdoors... I have pushed myself forward but there has been no relief from Anhedonia. It has maintained it's grip on me and continues to affect every aspect of my life including relationships. There has to be a real answer. I pray I will find it soon.
This strategy has worked for me!!! I cannot express the relief I felt when I found myself back in a normal 'enjoying life' state again. At the time I was just trying to get through the day without committing suicide. At a loss, I simply started to reflect on the things that used to bring me joy and happiness previously and just a little I was able to move towards a better place. That was the turning point. I believe how I felt had to do with some ADHD medication that I had stopped taking. If you're feeling like you're in the prison cell, breathe, close your eyes and just visualize a previous time when you were having fun and feeling joy. You may just flip the switch.
This is great advice. The only problem for me is its been soooo long. I dont enjoy what i use to anymore and theres nothing that currently brings me joy. I suppose that means i need to try new things even if they will disappoint me.
Really appreciate this video.
Thanks for this video , Dr. Scott. I was diagnosed with major depression , suicidal, and gad. I can finally say im 4 months clean off benzos. This video was very knowledgeable way more than my own pcp or psych.
What if nothing brings you joy that you can do? For example, I used to go canoeing, but I have fibromyalgia that doesn’t allow it. I used to volunteer a lot and it made me feel fabulous but I don’t have the physical energy to do it anymore. Most of what brought me joy was taken away by health issues.
Work on health issues??
Idk acupressure, massage techniques?
I understand that..I have severe arthritis. I used to walk...every day, every where and now my joints hurt so much I can't...I've tried to push myself but it feels worse, not better
@@pearpo Did all that with FM/CFS/ME. Fine for a few treatments then nothing. I felt like a guinea pig in a lab experiment - different meds that did everything (including making everything else worse). But treat the illnesses. Coupled with childhood on depression, arthritis, hypothyroidism, chronic migraine. Right now I am weighed down in a vat of treacle. Nothing gets me revved up anymore. Not even doing art. Have lost so many dear ones in the past three years that I question why I am still here. The isolation is getting worse. The only bright spot in my life is my cat that I got almost two years ago. She is the reason I get up each day.
33 years with a passive aggressive psychopath has taught me that joy and excitement is a setup. I can’t leave. I miss me.
I love the idea of trying the door every day. You are right, it doesn't always open, but every now and then it does, and a sliver of light, maybe even joy slips through.
This is exactly how I am feeling. I wrote down last night “why I am I never happy anymore” because I didn’t understand the absence of joy I felt. My life feels like an endless series of work and obligations. As I watched your video I was completely stuck to recognise what actually brings me joy…I honestly don’t know the answer to that question.
If you don’t know the answer right now sometimes it helps to think about what used to bring joy and try them again to see if they still work
"You are worth it & i hope you do not give up" while looking in the camera makes me wanna cry. Too much❤
❤️
I had a severe major depressive episode in late 2019-2021, then alot of losses happened in my life. After all the depression and grief had come and gone, anhedonia is the one thing that's stuck around. It comes and goes but boy does it say hello when it comes around. Everything just gets heavy and just feels like to much effort without any reward. It's like being hungry but food doesnt give you any relief so you just stop eating. If I didnt have a job, I would probably be stuck in bed all day. I just miss being excited about stuff and I try. I try setting up these small milestones, but they either fall through or they dont bring me any joy at all. I keep trying, but I'm afraid of the day where I'll completely give up.
Thank You. I've started watching your video. Since I lost my son 7 years ago I can't feel much.Ive had depression and anxiety my entire life but I kept going on and living My kids are the Best part of my life. Since my son died(he was 28) I don't see the other 2 much. He lived close to me with his family. The other 2 used to come visit,for 7 years I've seen them a few times. It changed us all. I put myself in this cell. Alone 24/7,having lupus 28 years, 20 years I fought it and kept going. I don't know how to fight anymore. Your videos r one thing I look forward too. Thank you.
This is stunning. I've been diagnosed with depression and agoraphobia, but this sounds like *me.* I need to take a good look into this. Thank you, for giving voice to what I deal with. I check my door locks, several times a day. Even when I'm the only one here.
Thank you for speaking on this!
The prison analogy is good.
I first experienced anhedonia a few years back and it was the strangest and most alien mindset I've ever encountered.
It almost feels like being a ghost in your own life. It's not even a feeling of sadness or defeat, it's just... nothing...
I've gone through seasons of depression since I was pretty young, but never actually knew anhedonia until just a few years back.
An odd but successful way of dealing with it has actually been;
to not care that I don't care, and just do something anyways.
It feels almost absolutely impossible in the moment but if you can just get the willpower, throw it on your shoulders and just do something in that moment, you will begin to feel fulfilment even if it doesn't make the anhedonia go away.
Best regards to everyone else in the anhedonia prison.
You CAN get through it. And when it returns, you CAN get through it again.
Be kind to yourself. ❤
Ive watched a handful of your videos now. It's amazing how you describe things I can never even put into words. How I feel. It's like you're right in my head.
I'm so glad!
I read psychology and self-help books all my life. They offer insight, but you are on your own in seeking solutions. You have solutions, you really do! I just sent two of your videos to my sister, who is in a medical profession and dealing with terrible stress, and stacking up more stress due to aging, with not much of a social support system. I wasn't able to help her until I sent her your videos on freeze response and anhedonia. She sounded thrilled to have discovered a psychologist who has solutions that really work! Without your solutions, I would possibly have just curled up on the couch, useless in old age, and died. Thank you! Your book is what everybody gets for Xmas!
That's the point I'm tired of playing the game of life
when it feels like you're already dead but stuck in line waiting to get out
So encouraging indeed. I am out of prison with the help of friends, family, and an antidepressant. It is a frightening, lonely and sad way to live and I may have to deal with it again someday. But like you said, I have confidence and assurance that trouble don't last always as the common elderly folk say. Thank you!!
Power Though !
what antidepressant are you on?
Changing my antidepressants has helped me. The joy is starting to leak back into my life. Thanks for this advice, it makes a lot of sense
I see my wife every day struggle to be a part of what's going on out side the house. She said the exact same thing it's like there a wall and she's invisible to people. Her biggest saying is that she's on a different time line then every one else. That there no since in participation. 💔 I am supporting her the best way I can
I am so glad she has you! My husband was a stabilizing factor to me for sanity. He died of cancer over 4 yrs ago. So glad you’re hanging in there for her. Many blessings on you both!
At 25, I was diagnosed with severe depression and a year later hypothyroidism. I'm also dealing with a borderline personality. Feeling empty, disconnected is something I know very well. Not only I can't enjoy anything anymore, I also feel apathy. I have no energy or motivation. I feel like a robot, out of real purpose and only here to fill up a blank space until someone else fills it. Getting older is quite a challenge as well because this ain't getting better. I started to feel a little relief by having no expectations. I just accepted myself the way I am and I give myself the right to be me. Screw them, I know it sounds disconnected again, but beside therapists, I don't know many people who can actually understand unless they live a similar experience.
I can feel u
How are you now? Because it sounds exactly like me. Brutal apathy, anhedonia and things... I'm 33 tho.
At least this gives me hope. Thanks for posting this, you may just have lit the candle that will guide me thru the darkest tunnels.
This guy is actually pretty awesome. Good job relating these comples issues
this video helped me understand how i feel and what im feeling. it also reminded me that i won't overcome my Anhedonia over night, it takes time thank you!
I just hate this..!!! Everyday is a prison... nothing good about it.
I really get annoyed when people say look at all the good you have in your life and others have it worse or you have nothing to be unhappy about . Uh yeah . Then you feel worse for feeling the way you do. Thank you for this video. I’ll try this .
I can relate.... exactly.
Thank you for the message of hope today. I have certainly become an escape artist but I have begun to struggle again. The window in my cell keeps rising. But because I kept listening to your messages throughout the day, I was able to move myself slowly and made things a bit easier for "tomorrow me". Thank you. ❤
Excellent.
On down days try soft tasks meditation ..long showers...soft music.
Review past lifestyle...chase joy not excitement.
Make joy happiness selfcare a daily must.
Good luck
I'm going through it right now, and in my case I think one of the causes is burnout, so it is a self protective mechanism against further stress by means of "shutting down". Maybe the stress is self generated, you know, by thinking too much. So it can perpetuate itself that way. If you just sit in a chair and when you have an unwanted thought, just disengage from it. That is the best way that I can describe the procedure. I use it whenever I need to get to sleep.
Thanks so much for your outreach, Dr. Scott...there's a great degree of transparency to your talks, and the degree to which you're prepared to share personal experience.in context is refreshing. Today I'm trying a change in direction thanks to your suggestions...it might not feel spectacular as an effort right away, but I trust to the idea of a cumulative effect with effort.🌿
Since I came across your channel I really been pondering everything that you have said and it first was really excited to finally put a word to what I was feeling but it has recently hit me that really all that means is we actually do realize the pointlessness of our lives and ultimately we die we are really just used as the higher-ups ponds for their agendas until we die wash rinse repeat there is no point to any of this I wish so much that I could feel stuff again because it would also mean I was oblivious to my ultimate demise as everybody else. You can't deny the fact that people once they pass away or easily forgotten if not there be lines for visitation in two cemeteries and if you can't even be remembered then what the hell is the point in waking up there isn't any
I absolutely agree with what you say. it really astounds me how most people just keep going. It looks like the only way forward is just to accept it. like if you lost an arm or have an accident from which you don't fully recover. keep trying and look the other way. this game called life is really weird...
Thanks. This is helpful.
Without knowing, I’ve tried these tips. Sometimes I can catch myself with just a very cautious glimmer of possibility to feel something. The trees look brighter. Everything looks less fuzzy for a while. Acupuncture with a competent TCM doctor has also helped me.
Thank you for all your efforts to post. You have an amazing talent for making a point and making an argument for so many details affecting we afflicted ❤
The way you explained this was the best way ive ever heard anhedonia explained
You’re the only person I’ve heard that really describes the experience of being depressed and empty accurately. I can listen to you because you get it.
Thank you for taking the time to make this for us. ❤ I found it very helpful.
Glad it was helpful!
I miss art, playing games, friends, girlfriends, jobs. I miss life.
Same here.!! So many things I enjoyed,.. even the little other things.... once I lost my career job,.. life was ripped out of me!... hard to explain to friends, family, neighbors.
It's like I got unplugged.
Same here bro nothing same after 2020
I wish yous the best. I personally only hang on for others.
oh my gosh, I hear you...I so hear you and it sucks so bad😢
i dont really miss..... is that ok
I'm an LPC and really value your videos. Thanks for doing what you do. I played one video for a client and he really enjoyed how you explain things so well and understandably.
I thoroughly enjoy listening to you talk and explain the different issues of mental illness. And the exceptional advice on what to do to help when you're struggling, Very very good. I have already watched 3 or 4 videos in a row. And I'm so glad I found your channel. You explain things so well, I wish I lived in your state so I could make some appointments
For therapy, you are very articulate and explain things very well. The way that you communicate holds my attention. I don't know why but there are so many TH-cam channels that I can't listen to. When people talk real slow or they talk real fast, or the tone of their voice is annoying to lisren to 6:02 . I can't handle it. I have to change the channel.
Thank you, Dr. Scott. You are a big help. You are an inspiration, and I really appreciate that you never talk down to people. 😊
Dr Scott, you have been the MOST effective therapy in the four years that i have been living with this miserable beast....thank you for helping us. Thank you for reminding us to 'check the door', gives me hope. You are such a gift to us !
Excellent advice. Of course you realize that the suggestion is the hurdle. A challenge necessary to take on. Thanks
The most common advice I'm getting right now is gratitude lists. But gratitude is also something I cannot feel! I can make a list good things, but that's not the same as really appreciating them and thinking that they make life worth continuing...
Yes! This is where the struggle between being intellectually aware and emotionally connected is. Intellectually, I am grateful for a lot. Emotionally, I have no connection to the feeling of gratitude. A list just seems like another pointless chore.
I felt too much when I was a kid and I wished that it would stop.
And it did at the age of 30. I remember when it started, it was like something broke in me but my feelings went away slowly.
I am comfortable this way.
My constant anxiety, social awkwardness, etc. eased up.
I live my life like before but without the emotional exhaustion and stress, I am functioning better than before, I am more confident and bold.
But sometimes I miss feelings, and I know they are still there but I can't get to them.
You are awesome. Makes so much sense I'm crying
It's so hard when there are things you must do to get better from things like depression. But there's nothing driving you forward. Of course you want to feel better, because that's the nature of "negative" emotions. And you have to shame yourself into brushing your teeth and showering once a week just so they happen, or the physical discomfort forces you to do them. And when you do accomplish those things, you feel nothing. I have tried many meds and my current meds help but they don't touch the anhedonia or fatigue or apathy
You said what I feel so well.
Great video mate - I like the template you shared here with the items in the prison and to stack them on top of each other. So much gold here
Thanks man real talk. Respect
this gave me some hope that maybe things will be better than today. thanks
Thanks for your heartfelt effort to rescue sufferers from a failed life experience. Failure is not a choice nor is it a defeat. Renewal of the effort to succeed is necessary. Surprise, surprise, a small window of opportunity may yet be opened wide by your resolve to renounce failure and make your life better. Excellent podcast, so helpful and inspiring.
Thank you Scott. Just knowing you "know" helps and with that your information is practical and and accessible. I needed to hear this
“I have gum.” 😊 This gave me a chuckle.
Really, though, the little things are EVERYTHING. What a great memory palace for strategizing before I get locked in again. 💌
I’v been 10 years in this prison. thank you so much for this wonderful video ❤
Theres the word for that "feeling" of not feeling. I said "I feel like a ghost". Wasn't sure I was alive. Now I know there is validation & ways/tools to help. Thank you Dr Scott.❤
Thanks for addressing the topic. I’m very familiar with it, but rarely hear much on it. 😊
THIS WAS THE BEST VIDEO I WATCHED ABOUT ANHEDONIA
Anhedonia for me exists for two reasons. One, every single thing that used to bring me joy is no longer available to me. Tangibly, they no longer exist. Second, I feel guilty whenever I feel joy because I know there are billions of people around the world suffering far worse than I. It feels wrong to enjoy my coffee when I know that thousands of people will die of starvation today. Then I feel guilty because I am not accepting the coffee that God gave me with thankful joy. What seems to work for me best is taking the stoic approach, concentrate on what I can do and ignore what I can't.
The serenity prayer from AA mirrors your thoughts: God grant me the will to change the things I can, accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference. Bless you in your journey.
That’s religious condemnation no doubt we’ve had similar experiences of oh people have it worse than you’re privileged. But the thing is you have every right to feel like you can’t be happy we both do because we’re human beings with our own peaks and valleys.
You changed my life for the good thank you
This made me feel so understood that I cried.
Thank you, defining these little mental tools to work with the Anhedonia is the way out of it’s prison.
I refer to ‘standstill’ a nexus point where you literally stop-dead in your tracks and see nothing good ahead, only bad behind and not much point in visiting either one? I ask since I feel like I have hit that point. The place where baggage finally gets so heavy it actually forces you to stand still - it’s a weird place.
Again, looking back with regret and forward with dread can only be expressed through complete incapacitation.
A state of inaction bordered by the suffocating thoughts of both what has been and what lies in store!
How to just drop those bags? - what a great idea!
Interesting. Any bags usually give me something to do. Puzzle it through and sort it out. When I don’t have the bags it’s even more boring. Just Zen. Not terrible.
Wow this sums up how I feel completely
Sorry Amanda, if I can help let me know
@@Amandahugginkizz
Same. For me there's nothing to do but run out the clock.
@@squidward66 well yeah that’s kind of it - stuck so completely and perfectly. The only option is to forget everything before and reinvent everything that is to be. Exquisite balance, the yin and the yang, the body and the shadow.
Let me know if you figure a way forward, or sideways, or even backwards
Good luck to you.
Definitely needed to hear this.
Ok! I’ve had this for forever.
That’s what I call depression.
Never able to feel joy, even if I’m currently laughing…..it’s like being detached from positive emotions.
I think just to feel normal happiness would feel like bliss to me cause I’ve been a prisoner a loooong time and I’ve had an extremely traumatic series of events in my life.
My kitten actually has stirred some long feelings in me.
I realize Houdini (my cat) is real and adorable and the joy of loving something very much is peaking back thru. If I said that to someone tho, I don’t think they’d understand. Omg I just became aware Houdini was an escape artist and the fact he helps me escape my “cell” is an interesting coincidence! Lol I named him that about a month before seeing this!
I think anhedonia is fundamentally like saying no to everything. It’s being unhappy with everything, thinking it should be a different way than it is.
Yoga is going to bring me back.
I will say hoping to do something enjoyable, when it doesn’t feel that way (and it used to be) is massive suffering.
I think this video is going to be very consequential in helping me get to positive emotions.
It’s because of our brains. We seek pleasure and avoid pain. But doing both is suffering!! Wanting pleasure when you are in pain hurts worse than the actual pain.
I think people experiencing this have the capacity to spiritually awaken. It takes a lot of suffering to wake up.
I am very thankful I found your channel, it has been helpful & encouraging. The struggle with Anhedonia is real, but I do try to push myself to keep doing things and going Outside, even though most of the time I hate it. But secretly hold the hope I might find joy. I remember being happy, when I had my dogs, worked on my art and rode horses. But now I hide away from everything afraid to go out, I want to have a dog again, go riding and let all the artistic visions I've had come alive, but I feel that I can't. I feel trapped. But I DO want out so very badly.