How I Keep Going In The Face Of Total Apathy And Anhedonia (Apathyception)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 พ.ค. 2024
- There's an unspoken Achilles' heal in many peoples' mental health journeys.
How do you stick to your plan, strategies, and healing in those times when you just don't care?
Periods of prolonged apathy create massive setbacks in your progress - you know this. There's no amount of willpower or positive thinking that can keep these at bay.
I used to think these "black hole" periods were unsolvable, and I just had to endure. But in the last few years I've found 2 strategies to help me push through the periods of apathy, numbness, emptiness, and anhedonia and stay on track with my life.
I'm sharing those with you now.
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But I do care.
My dog passed away at the end of January. Tonight, after listening to this video, I took my walk without him.
Very sorry for your loss.
Pet loss is so hard. I'm sorry for the loss of your little guy.
💔🐕🌟
So sorry, but great job! ❤👍
My heart dog passed almost 2 years ago and I still haven’t taken that walk. 🥺 I miss her more than words can ever say and I don’t think I’ll ever be the same again. 💔
What ive learned from this channel is that i need a psychologist, not a psychiatrist. I need tools, not medicine
I am trying my best to do it that way. The side effects are tough when you try to get off meds if you have been on long term. I don't want to lose the progress I jave made but sometimes I think, "Maybe I should just try another prescription pushed at me". I don't want the meds if I can use tools. Each person is different though and meds can definitely be a life saver to many. Use them if warranted. Wishing you the best in your journey.
It's sad, it used to be different but insurance companies want psychiatrists to source as little time with patients as possible.
Me too.❤
And then there are psychologists that specialize in certain areas. I needed to find one that understood trauma, parental alienation, and addiction. Always make use of those free consultations to make sure there is a fit. It's SO important. Good luck on your healing journey!
Same here. I am trying to get off of them, but dealing with side effects angst, anger and lack of sleep is a bit too much. I've gone through video list on this channel, but couldn't find any specifically about medications... A video on this topic would be nice.
Except we rarely just have apathy. There is also the fatigue and lack of motivation.
Riiiiight!! That constant feeling of exhaustion ...
@emu1028 That sounds horrible 😢😢 Anhedonia is such a nightmare. I totally understand being demotivated...feeling unable to do anything
@emu1028 😢that's rough
I’ve been learning about how to get the nutrients I need to help my brain make more serotonin and dopamine… B-6 and Tyrosine with magnesium Taurate to help make the dopamine… which helps me feel more motivated.
i was just speaking with a friend, how i feel overwhelmed with Apathy, i have so many things i want to do, but ive lost everything three times in life, and just can't get up to fight anymore, i keep watching the world descend into madness, i feel trapped in an asylum.
+1 here. Try and focus only on you and being the human you expect others to be.
Listening to Pink Floyd, "Brain Damage" in particular, helps. I've been kicked over and over, lost EVERYTHING 3 TIMES, and am so tired. I used to fight, stand up, and believed that things would get better, yet... I had to quit telling my friends how I feel. It wasn't helping me, or them. Sending you hugs, and hope.
Here too 😢
It's really that building yourself from nothing and losing everything multiple times that really sucks your motivation to do anything cause everything feels pointless when you know you can lose all the effort and materials from your hard work, ultimately making your struggles and sacrifices feel worthless
The world is going to shit. You are not imagining.
Reminds me of a saying we have in my house: Some days you thrive, some days you survive.
I literally have a video called that ❤️
I feel like I've only been surviving for the past 10 or more years. I don't remember the last time I felt alive.
My reaction to this video is literally feeling nothing while thinking "oh, I feel so understood, this is game-changing advice, love it"
This is me. Been falling into a dark crack for the last six years. Now my husband has dementia and there is no money for help. I am just TIRED beyond description.
💜🌷 I'm sorry honey 😢
@@nancyayotte2297 🥲 thank you, good soul. Hugs. ❤️🌹
anyone suffer from not only depression, but chronic nervousness, too?
Boo
Yes. but could it be caused by stimulants?
@@UglyFaceOnAStick-iz8btstimulants help me with anxiety because i have adhd
Yes both. You are not alone.
@@jaynegiampietro4134 thanks, nice to know! cold and nervous right now.
No friends or any family nearby. Old with athritis and a lifelong depression. My brain is so shut down that that l cannot even think what to do and l am so tired all the time. Is there anyone else feeling like this where we aren't even functioning. I want to sleep and not wake up. Sorry!
Exactly the same. COPD (emphysema) here. I get tired and sleep so much. I haven't left my apartment in over a year except for medical reasons. No friends or nearby family. In 10 years, I've lost both parents, my four closest friends, and my pet of 15 years. Every day is exactly the same and my fatigue is how you mentioned. Best wishes to you. 63 yr old woman with long depression, anxiety, and Borderline Personality Disorder.
l feel compelled to ask why are you not medicating for depression because it sounds like that would help. I relate! Don't surrender. Talk to your doctor. We all deserve better. @@marlenechicoine4005
Yes, the same here. I have a depression that started 2001. I never have had 1 minute break from it, lost my job, friends, family, all my interests.... I am "just" chronically sad, everything is hopeless.
@@marlenechicoine4005you have the same name as my mom. Losing her is part of what kicked this off for me. I might be biased but I think you have the best name in the world.
Felt so numb today I could hardly move. When will this end. I used to be so driven. Time to make a new deal with myself. To start again in the morning. I want to break out of this hell. People are counting on me if I’m being honest.
There's only so many times you can come back fighting when you've been knocked down over and over. You just give up. When you've lost everything over and over, family turning their backs on you, friends disappear because of relationship breakdowns, broken marriages, financial problems, lost homes, loss of precious pets, the list goes on and on, you can't find the physical or emotional strength to even try to claw your way up again. That's where I am now.
I hope you’ll find your light again. I believe in you
I feel you.
We are here for you
I feel like you just described my life. You don't have to get up and fight. You just have to get up. You are a collective wave of energy and sometimes thats all you have to be. Just a wave. Don't think, don't feel, just be. Give up on giving up. It's overrated anyway ❤
I don’t know what to say except every word you typed is my life. My whole broken and wasted life.
I stick to the absolute basics when I'm in what I call "the ditch".. I MAKE myself get out of the bed, I do not stray from my schedule of wake and sleep, I do not make important financial decisions and I make SURE to do my self care (excersise, rest and meditation). I take on the attitude of "this too shall pass" and carry on. It is absolutely a total battle when I'm in that "ditch". These funks(I call them that too) usually pass after a while. I've come to accept that this happens to me, I accept that I will not be at my best, I'll probably mope through the day and I get on with it. The earth keeps spinning regardless if I'm in the ditch or not.
Whoa - Don't make financial decisions. You got me with that insight.
This is exactly how I survived cyclical depression from my hormonal cycles, before I got medication for it. It was quite helpful! I'm proud of my 23 year old self for figuring out the reason for my depression. And this coping strategy!! 😂
I like that image. It sounds like something a person can traverse (and become more skilled at it), as opposed to being stuck in a pit.
If you do meditate, maybe you should try, when these feelings do come, to practice a whole body awareness. Every feeling is an awareness, and perhaps these episodes keep coming back because you haven't heeded their messages. Gendlin has thought the practice focusing on the 'felt sense'. You should check him out.
@gideonros2705 I'm 58 years old and I've been dealing with these cycles for my entire life. The thing I've learned from age is that there is a cycle to everything. The entirety of nature works in cycles.. everything.. including my body and brain. The key is acceptance of these cycles. Learning to accept and adjust to brain cycles (which are linked to all sorts of other cycles like weather, climate, magnetic field, kp index, food intake, seasons to include light exposure.. the cycles of living on earth are a huge part of my existence and I pay very close attention to how my brain and body react to the ever changing cycles. It helps to know that there is nothing wrong with me or how I meditate, think or feel.. its a part of how life just is.. for me.
For me anhedonia isn’t feeling nothing, it’s just that I can’t enjoy anything I used to or things that are supposed to be pleasurable like music, food, sex, socializing, movies, video games etc. I can force myself to do hobbies, or any of those things but there’s no reward, pleasure, enjoyment, satisfaction or accomplishment.
I can still feel despair, hopelessness, anxiety, guilt, shame, embarrassment.
I’ve had anhedonia for a few years now and I want to be able to enjoy things it just doesn’t work no matter how many times I try and put forth the effort.
I think a lot of people mix up things like amotivation, apathy, anhedonia, avolition etc although a lot of times they come together and can feed off of each other.
Same. I fucking hate anhedonia. I've had it for almost 6 years. It sucks.
@@colin6673 Sorry to hear. I’ve had it for a little over for years but the last 2 years have been more severe. Do you know what caused yours or has anything helped even a little?
I agree with what you said.
@@colin6673me too. My beloved husband died Christmas Eve 2017.. .for 2 years all I did was care for him and my mother. Then I had nothing.....
I go through the motions.
Not long ago, I told my friend how depressed I am and how I don't care about anything. She was shocked, she said "since WHEN? Your always smiling and talking. " I told her, I only do that the little bit of time I spend with people. I fake it the few hours an months I hang out with friends
This principle you discovered, that emotions are fickle, was used by a psycholigist who counseled famous writers (Hemingway was one) who suffered writers' block. He said that many writers suffer a block because they don't feel anything and are waiting for strong emotions to inspire them to write. He taught them to not wait upon feelings to give them inspiration to write, but to go ahead and write using intellect, thoughts. This makes perfect sense, because people do think thoughts, as well as feel. Characters in fiction or drama may be portrayed thinking as well as feeling. The authors themselves are thinkers as well as feelers. The trick is to get authors (or patients or students) to realize that they must learn to think actively. People often suffer due to passive intellects, not realizing that they can use their own intellect to find sollutions. So they go running to psychiatrists or anybody for solutions. That's fine, because nobody is perfect...everybody needs help sometime (That is why I listen to your videos.)
No one has ever resonated with me as much as this man. Thank you so much! You have really opened a world to me where I can feel understood, gain helpful insight that works and not feel judged.
What would we do without you Dr Scott? I have never heard anyone voice the struggles and thoughts I am experiencing, let alone provide tools and insight as to how to respond to them. God bless, man. Thank you for turning your personal struggles into healing opportunities for us.
Absolutely, well versed x
Who feels this totally right now??
Me
@@stevenkovler5133 yeah
Me
@@pjlee2053 what a sad group...at least we can commiserate with each other
Me
My strategy is "I will thank myself later" ... whether it is to go to work or to go have lunch with a friend. I may not feel it at the moment but I know my future self will feel good about the memories and for my taking responsibility.
Thank you for this. The way you said it helps.
When I feel anhedonia/depression, I get SO TIRED!!! I try coffee, sugar, anything... but i just can't keep my eyes open. I fall asleep at a dining table or in the bathroom. I also have late stage COPD, so that might be part of it. Now, I sleep during the day and am awake more at night. I get so confused about the date, meals , or the times to take medication.
Omigosh! You are describing exactly what i've been experiencing for the last couple of years. Wow, i'm EXCITED to know i'm not alone. I am gaining weight, energy sucks, I try finding times i will sleep to have the energy to do something like work, housecleaning, blah😢
@cherylbogdan5044 Thank you for your comment. It's helpful for me to hear from you, too. My new problem is mice in my kitchen! The challenges do seem to pile up, laundry, mail, etc, lly in there, and I'll be trying , too. I edited because I was pretending to be cheerful, and it wasn't really how I feel.
@@cherylbogdan5044Get your thyroid levels checked this is what I have and the symptoms match. I have no motivation to do anything but sit in a chair all day... don't know if thyroid is out of balance as I keep going to Drs for test ...just fed up with being a vegetable 😢... hope you find help..
Knowing and telling yourself that this feeling will pass, that this is a blip, and you will feel differently later, has been a big help to me in the past. But currently i feel like everything is compounding to make things even more insurmountable. Hopelessness, unemployment and needing to find something new, neglecting friends and family and feeling bad about it, a perpetually messy house and endless tasks that need to be done. I can't get myself to do any of it. Disthymia and ADHD here.
Start with making your bed and cleaning your house. You will feel so much better. 👍
Same , and with aging its worse & running out of time.
I’m have a similar presentation. I like the advice to focus on actions when thoughts & feelings start tanking. Stop thinking. You know when you are half listening to someone & their words are not registering? Do that to the critical voice & the feelings. Activate the part of the trifecta, Action, that is most controllable. The 2 min tool- “I will doing my morning things for 2 min.” Do & celebrate the movements that have the least resistance. Being upright, cleaning teeth, having a tea or coffee, even just sit in morning light.
There are times when putting off thoughts & feelings- when maladaptive- can be superpowers.
I understand
Scott: you're the best therapist I've encountered, including programs at McClean. Stay independent! The authorities are untrustworthy to say the least.
I am so grateful to hear another adult confess they also hate vegetables! Thanks, Dr. Scott!
9 years dealing with this. Got knocked down one too many times. I know what I want to do and how to do it, but I struggle so much with just believing again. Without the belief that I can rise again, I just stay down there, stuck in the worst mental habits. Can help others all day, but can't seem to help myself.
Keep putting out your content. It's reaching people who need it.
The unshakable belief that youll be 'punished' for any progress you make... The belief from past experiences apsect sucks a lot.
I'm being realistic, not pessimistic when I share my opinion that trauma burdened folks like myself will never be 100% healed. Right now estimate my healing journey is about 80% complete...and I still have way too much anxiety and downtime. I've learned from this channel that this is not a sign of regression, just a symptom of dealing with a very complex and demanding healing process. I have learned to place some trust in an underlying intuitive sense that I am close to my healing goal, and to ride out downtimes quickly with as little self negativity as possible. Our subconscious minds fight us right up to the moment when our reprogramming is complete. Yet as we advance, changes that become embedded act as subtle saboteurs to negative subconscious thoughts. I have gained strength in knowing that (excessive) downtimes will continue for a while longer...and that while my goal line is approaching, I may not realize I have reached it until after the fact.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you
as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not
be afraid.
Your comment is both insightful and encouraging. Thank you.
@@beverlytaylor1745 - Stay encouraged! It took all my strength to reason with myself against quitting completely, as I woke up this morning. It was not logical. It was purely emotional. Having lived on the edge of collapsing emotions for so long...keeping in "wise mind" is a challenge. It is my only hope to continue.
Thank you, from someone older who can appreciate being in a wiser mind. Godspeed. 🙏
I agree that I don't think that I will ever get totally healed.
Recovery was originally a goal of the person who was suffering from a mental health problem in the face of professionals who didn't believe they could. After a while the professionals took recovery over and then the insurance companies got hold of it and recovery became mandatory.
I really don't like having recovery shoved down my throat.
I'm 77 now and I haven't recovered yet. How much longer am I going to be expected to do that?
Hi Dr. Scott, & everyone 👋,
6mo. ago, i overly Stressed in attempts to keep my career job,... i contracted anxiety & insomnia., it was horrible. Then, i lost my job, and im completely devastated. Now experiencing Depression.
Gone: desires, hopes, cares, emotions, motivation, my normalcy, insecurity, worry
Have: Negative thoughts, feelings, apathy, dread, sadness, guilt, grief, remorse, anger, self hate, blame.
I lost my love for life, and living like this is unbearable.
[ loose career job after 3 decades = Stress, anxiety, insomnia, depression, grief
!?!?!?😩💔
There are times where I present myself with stimulus intended to evoke emotion to gauge how much I am able to feel. With that said I avoid the sad things all the time now (like abused and rescued animal stories on YT, or war footage) because those ALWAYS evoke sadness and outrage. Got enough of that....
My favorites to see if they evoke joy in my current state are also on YT
1. People getting cochlear implants and hearing for the first time. This is my #1.
2. Adoption stories.
3. Puppies
4. motorcycle videos from favorite channels (lifelong passion, ride when I can be bothered to gather the energy to go to the garage)
I used to watch hoarders to motivate me to clean, or people sharing their WWII stories to remind myself that my life is amazing and I need to suck it up and move on. Only helped marginally... 🤷♀️
This tip about eating healthy while you can’t taste is really great, would help also when sick too 🤔
For me the problem with the do it anyway approach is that if I don't feel it I also lack the energy to organize myself for the action
Yes, and when I do spend what little energy I can muster on organizing myself for the action, and then I "do it anyway" with no energy left, and it turns out so badly (both process and outcome) that I would have been better off not attempting to do it, that's a problem. I'm open to ideas for solutions!
A good example of this would be when attempting to "do it anyway" results in a MELTDOWN in the middle of trying to do it. 😭
I feel the same disaster waiting to happen I burn things when I cook
Make big mess when I try then end up in tears because there is more clean up.
Then the cycle carry on the next day its the Same I never make any improvement I'm stuck can't move forward.
@@hasinapatel1233 I am so sorry. I feel your pain. Just came home from a weekend that was supposed to be really fun and I was totally shocked when it was a disaster! (Due to a health issue last Sept., and I keep WAY overestimating my new, limited capabilities.) Thanking the Good Lord that the friend I was staying with totally understood and was completely supportive. I did end up having a catastrophic meltdown when I got to her house. I really, really thought that what I had planned was well within my capabilities. Guess not. VERY thankful this one friend has superhuman compassion.
Holy shit how did he know?? I swear this is the exact phase I am going through right now... Mind reader
I lived much of my life doing this because I had no choice (a child to raise). Once child was raised and gone it was actually harder because no reason. And what he’s saying here now really helps so much.
When I had my crash around September last it took something away from me....a spark/a feeling/an energy/hope I was always a functioning depressive before but was ok.Now I have a problem with my present self moving through time accepting what happened to me like whats an end ? the memories of how dark this episode was keeps me dark very much how you describe.Great video.
You have come out of this before?! You can & will again!
My severe depression, apathy, and anhedonia mixture feels like being in prison and this is just the way it is until the day I die and then I'll finally be out. That said, I have taken lessons from you that have helped. I'm going to take this one and perhaps I might get pardoned at some point and have will have made choices that will let me enjoy my freedom. I have no idea what that would even look like...
I also feel like my brain chemistry is a big part of my mental health struggles and that someday there will be advances that will make this time look like the dark ages in mental health. I hope I can participate when that day comes. Thank you for sticking through the hard days. It gives me hope. ♥
I so agree with your first paragraph. I'm getting to old to enjoy life even if I could find the problem.
Same here, with you! 🙏for us. ( so unbearable).
It's not just your brain chemistry. The vagus nerve and your gut health have a lot to do with it.
😭I'm in it too! The prison!
@@JustVibingFullStop how do you cope. ? I'm really not doing very well... I've called for help, ... but
total apathy and anhedonia is my life.
Me too. 😞
Here as well.but honestly it's also a worth it as people are a holes
Yep.
@@kensurdity3840 people are a holes and the world is hell.
Life changing video! I was in a episode of this 2 hours ago. I listened and my mood and day has taken a 180. Just have to finish strong. I got this! 🚀
Yes! You got this!!!!
You are profoundly affecting my life in a powerful way. THANK YOU for your, essentially charity work, here for those of us who cannot or will not access this type of essential therapeutic instructions. I now watch your video's daily, first thing in the morning. Now I am a better person for myself, my daughter's , my employer and my fellow citizens. As a widow I had given up on life. Now, after 8 years of grief, I am re engaging with life. Your words are giving me tools to be a person comfortable in my own head and making better choices and actions. You have my sincere respect.
Thank you so much 😢 You understand the struggles of Depression. You're literally helping me navigate complicated Grief after the deaths and loss of so many people I loved. You're helping me find my way back to living one small step at a time ❤ Bless you
Me too, including my pet of 15 years...I understand.
With a why, I could bear any how.
but imho it needs to be a ‚what for‘ (too, at least), in terms of purpose. not only understanding about root causes (as ‚why‘). there needs to be a ‚causa finalis‘ in view, that is.
@@VaronPlateandoYes, true on all counts, but "why"s and "what for"s don't run far or fast on cold logic, they require the steam of emotional/psychological reward to plot a course, overcome inertia, and create and sustain forward momentum. Cognitive navigational charts and a compass are certainly useful to know how to set the rudder to avoid shoals and hazards, but no water in the boiler and no fire in the furnace leaves a vessel a lifeless hulk, flotsam adrift on a sluggish current in a Sargasso Sea of apathy, or aground on a sullen strand waiting for a turn of the tides, not a drop for a soul to drink nor a twig to ignite to sustain the warmth of the last glowing embers.
Chronic conditions of threat, invalidation, and austerity in early life necessitate abandonment of emotional satisfaction from the environment, a co-ocurring dark side of the relief found in flight into the soft light of the inner world. Some of us learned early ( in my case expressed by the age of 9) the Sysiphean futility of extracting value from a resource-poor world in which everyone you meet places all value in hedonic distractions and short-term pleasures, ignoring true worth and honest exchange; paper passions are traded with frantic exuberance while solid substance is dismissed as fraud, leaving the bearer with no currency in a market of limitless aimless pursuits that provide no satisfaction and incessant demands to participate in the never-ending pursuit of delusional riches that leaves the masses impoverished and starved.
Why would I choose to pursue such a fruitless reality, and where within it would any reward be derived? Perhaps my perspective seems pessimistic to some, and it certainly is in the sense that overwhelmingly people either refuse to acknowledge or are incapable of grasping the barrenness of the world we have created; but in the acceptance of that awareness lies the only optimism I have seen, that in abandoning the pursuit of the mirage we could instead turn our attentions to a direction that would lead us to the cool oasis we all want desperately.
"I hope there's something wrong with me,
I hope this isn't how it's supposed to be." -Icon For Hire
... what if it isn't just me?
I just went through this yesterday, and I recognized a couple of things. 1. I knew I had recently overextended myself. So I took B vitamins. 2. I acknowledged I was feeling apathetic and unenjoyed, and that it was a signal from my body that I shouldn't push myself. 3. Today I feel okay and able to move forward, but not enough to push myself again. -It's definitely health related, nutritional deficits for sure.
If you ever find the silver bullet, let us know. 😊
@@UglyFaceOnAStick-iz8bt I think his point is that this is an eternally evolving process, there is no silver bullet, we can only share insight that has helped us. Sorry if this sounded self serving to you, but I was literally amazed I felt better this quickly after a deep trough.
Good way to do things. I try to keep to routine tasks so some basic satisfaction at least in times of despair.x
Nutrition is very important for mental health.I didn't know how much what you eat can affect your mental wellbeing until I explored the so called "carnivore diet" about 6 years ago.
Ironically, I became curious about it after learning how (physically) beneficial is was for healing those whose health had been affected to catastrophic extent by a long term vegan diet...(***)
The more I researched the physical benefits of the carnivore diet, the more I stumbled on testimonies of individuals who'd experienced huge improvement in their mental health as well.
As a sufferer of long term, quite severe depression (as well as grief from losing all my loved ones) I'd nothing to lose so thought it was worth a try. After doing my home work, learning
about how the quality of nutrients matters I went carnivore and to my amazement, within just 2 weeks I was already feeling my general mood was much lighter..
Before I started I was already eating OMAD (one meal a day) for a few years and on carnivore it was even easier and enjoying a wide variety of animal based foods including, poultry, (sheep)fish, meat, cheese and other dairy products. While I could thrive off eating this way forever, I slowly started incorporating some carbs in the form of fruit and vegetables simply
because I missed them at times. I am a passionate cook and creating some old family favourite recipes at times brings me great joy.
As far as my depression goes? It's gone thanks to feeding my body great nutrition. The kind of nutrition plants simply can not provide. For if they may be present in another (plant) form,
our body's ability to absorb their nutrition is lacking if not non-existent.
(***) Statistics show 85% of vegans quit the vegan diet wishing 5 yrs due to catastrophic health reasons. Sadly some suffer such severe consequences, in some cases do permanent damage (to their intestines a.o) they are physically unable to tolerate ANY plant matter whatsoever. The reason I started looking into this (10 yrs ago) is because I knew a young vegan guy who required a bone marrow transplant after being vegan for 5 yrs. The more I learned about vegetables (and fruit) and their anti-nutrients, oxalates (oxalic acid) etc basically their
built in defence against being eaten, the more I realised many of them are far from healthy for us humans. especially in large amounts. The biggest eye opener however was finding
out we've been lied to about cholesterol and the so called "dangers" of high cholesterol and its role in repairing damaged arteries, needed for hormone production and balance etc. The fact every cell in our bodies (myelin sheath) requires cholesterol and every organ but especially our brain (latter is made of almost entirely cholesterol) needs it to maintain cell health and protect from damage.... you can begin to understand how infuriating it is to see a plant based diet being pushed on us more than ever..
It comes as no surprise to me to see a sharp rise in neurological ailments/ diseases, as well as fertility problems, Diabetes II, allergies, food intolerance etc.
Anyway, sorry for the long post. I'll stop before I start ranting about the criminal known as Ancel Keys who hold a huge responsibility for the creation of "nutritional guidelines" ,
our governments have adhered to over the past 70 odd years... (just look it up) and continue to do so despite knowing better. Wishing you well! 💜
@@bow53261000% agree with everything you said. I also went onto a carnivore diet 5 months ago and am completely off antidepressant meds. I actually have motivation to get stuff done which has not been that way in a decade or more. The other life changing step I incorporated is daily dosages of magnesium glycinate (500 mg) and vitamin D3 (10,000 iu).
Been in the deepest depression of my life after facing eviction and a close family member dying. I’ve never been more indifferent in my life and it’s very concerning. Thanks for these videos.
Have been struggling with what I call burnout depression after quitting my job and a series of stressful life events that has made me not want to do anything really. Currently unemployed and my life is now in a major rut. Not doing anything, not "feeling" like doing anything and being apathetic about life will further ruin my life and make things much worse than they should be.
This is really helpful.
Thanks for all your help. My depression is so bad this week. I keep taking time off, but end up in bed all day instead of enjoying free time.
Why are we like this? Why can't I be the 6 a.m. runner, swimmer, gym rat? Its 3 p.m. I have no care or energy to live. I did take a shower, but my brain tells me to wait until tomorrow to leave the house, it will all change.
Stop this!!!
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you
as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not
be afraid.
I feel like this all the time. I do not know how to feel positive feelings, only negative ones. So, I stay home and in bed. I cannot hold down a job, because I have social anxiety, depression, bipolar 2 and feel I'm not good enough. So, I feel ya.
If I could do that I wouldn’t need this channel. Thanks for totally discounting everyone’s struggle.
I am crawling out of the pit after 2 months of severe depression. I am motivated by the love of God. Im also a fighter for life. So far I keep trying again. I accomplish 1-2 objectives everyday. I can now realize these feelings that sometimes wash over me will go away and aren't permanent nor my true perspective . I do count my blessings.
You must feel good inside because of all the people you are helping. Such a talented teacher.
i hate and love that it always comes down to just do the thing
Why do so many people feel this way? Why so many?
Blessings and love from Florida...
🙏🌍🕊🕊
Think it’s partly high ACES.
I have been in this state constantly for about 7 years now ... Believing that it won't last forever is pretty hard at this point.
I have been dealing with CFS since 2009 and apathy and fatigue are my most debilitating symptoms.
I have routines. I follow those routines. As long as i follow those routines, everything stays stable. I know the dark times will come. I try to plan for that, as much as i can.
When I’m depressed I feel pronounced anger when I try to do the things.
I go to work, because others depend on my paycheck. That is the only thing I can consistently make myself do. I can’t motivate myself to do anything. Nothing is worth the effort. I eat because that is what I do when there is nothing else to do. I shower once or twice a week. I never exercise. I can’t even focus on this 20 minute video. I feel trapped in my own body. If I could give it all up I would. I wish I could be stuck on a desert island. If I couldn’t push myself constantly to survive, I would just fade away and I would be okay with that. I don’t see a time in the future when I can care about anything.
I went through anhedonia after I got sick. It slowly improved to where I could live again. After 10 years I finally asked for an antidepressant and my doctor put me on Wellbutrin. It was life changing. I could smile and be happy. I’m still on it and thriving, currently doing a master’s degree.
This is a really interesting way to think about it. I'm not sure whether it will work, but it's worth a shot. I keep thinking my mental state can't get any worse and I keep proving myself wrong. In the last week, I've been feeling this complete lack of positive emotion. Nothing works anymore. Not even the stupid, fleeting sources of instant-gratification dopamine. Even music doesn't get through to me anymore, and that's always been reliable for me. I've been ruled by my emotions (or lack thereof) for so long and I feel powerless. I think I'm at that point of "screw emotions". So I hope that's a good sign that these strategies can help me fix my life because I have nothing tf else to lose
Your concept of process and outcome goals has really given me that "this is it" feeling. I have spent most of my adult life chronically depressed, and now I really feel like I know why. I'm a baby boomer, and my generation was/is very outcome focused.
Also, those process goals often have other positive side effects - walking strengthens the immune system, saving that money even though spent on house repairs still 'saves' you that 8,000 that would have been taken anyway. Thank you Dr Scott. :) (and I'm surprised that a therapist actually speaks of their own 'apathyception' and in doing so actually helps us others!).
I’m always intrigued by people who don’t deal with depression or anxiety. But once in a great while I will have a really great day. I try to repeat it or understand why. It’s cruel really, because you so desperately want to feel like that more often but it’s out of your reach or beyond the veil.
I relate. You can barely remember the really good days on the endless bad ones. I get the odd good time and it's like all becomes clear. I'm going to do this, I need to do that, and I feel motivated. Then the fog settles on again and can barely even remember how I felt and certainly can't tap into feeling like I can do all the things that might help more.
Honestly, I think I was doing this strategy from age 8 or 9 until about 2015 (basically most of my life).. earlier in life because I didn't really have a choice as a child and then because I had a child and refused to allow my mental state and sometimes physical state separate me from what "should" be happening for the raising of my child in the best ways, practices and environments I could achieve. Problem with that is, after my child was grown and I no longer had elderly parents to care for, all of that mechanism vanished into a pool of exhaust, grief and nothingness. More incredible is that it is like -- I'm watching & coaching from outside of myself, like a silent witness, a most times loving caretaker and a wicked tongued stepmother (shouting from the sideline) all in one. Dealing with the actual immobilization is a whole other saga yet to be properly managed. If someone has a "why", a "what for" or a "point of it" that really makes sense, please feel free to share.
“I want the day I am capable of feeling good again to be the day I feel good again. I do not want there to be a lag time where I am capable of feeling good again but I’m not doing the things that would produce that feeling because then, it is my fault.”
This is the reframe I needed. Apathy-ception. Thank you.
Yes!
I realized during therapy that if I give myself grace and do exactly what you’re saying I rebound must easier when I’m ready.
My life was strongly structured around goals for a good life, and moving towards them, even if my emotions resisted now and then. This approach got me a wife, 3 kids, succeessful career, and nice stuff. Winning on most scorecards. Then my wife has an affair, the world goes crazy over covid, and I stopped getting out of bed. For two years I have been pinned down by apathy, and anhedonia. I wish my former way of living worked for me today. I hope others can put Scott's perspectives and advice to good effect.
Keep doing those things you did. You can get those things again. I think of a man who lost everything…wealth, wife, children to a horrific violent crime. He got lots of therapy, kept taking it one step at a time. He is remarried, has children & rebuilt his life. He said one step, one day, one moment at a time. Live in the moment. Appreciate the present. It has a purpose, even if painful. The pain doesn’t have to be the biggest thing forever.
i’ve had these feelings for a while (or lack thereof), and this is what keeps me going: “everyday can’t be a good day, but tomorrow can always be better”. i just have to get through today (or make the best of it) till tomorrow. truthfully, bad days are not forever, so i keep going because that good day is going to feel so good when it comes. sometimes i get a little tenacious and try to make my sad days happier (it mostly fails, but i still commend myself for trying anyway)
Love this 💕
The thing is. This feeling has lingered everyday for years
Thank you.
I'm a brain injury survivor. I've lost so much... Everything really. Now everything is better than I ever imagined, but I just can't make myself participate in life. I'm in Ketamine therapy and it is helping a bit. I recently had to go back to weekly doses instead of every 2 weeks.
I think the reason for wanting to spend the $10 is that often, buying something you want is pleasant and exciting. If you feel apathetic, those are enticing feelings and the hope is that by spending the $10, you'll get them. It's easy to forget that in those circumstances the purchase is often disappointing.
Apathy vs apathy, round 1, FIGHT! I like it. I have good success breaking my day up with a goal planner app and getting tiny dopamine rewards for each micro accomplishment but this is a great backup plan, thanks.
This is a revelation to me, I have just realised that this is what I have been doing most of my adult life...
This video and it's Chinese fortune cookie advice furthers my belief that we're doomed and that makes me sad.
I think being sad is an appropriate response to doom. It allows me to appreciate what I have today.
this advice is 10/10. watching movies and reading books and doing anything like i used to enjoy doesn’t work. it’s not exciting to decide to do anything. something drags me back to the shit like right away
I do the work because doing it and seeing ANY change, is better than no change. 😁
I watched one of your videos and went from months/years of life-draining apathy to hosting dinner parties and socialising within 4 months. I realised i was in shut down. I started to recover within 24 hours of watching it.
You are quite brilliant, Dr Scott! Thank you.
It's called "faking it till you make it"
That's called masking, and it causes depression because you spend so much time being inauthentic.
A classic song by an Aussie band called Tism ... " I'm interested in apathy"
A most excellent example of absurdism
I want to say thank you for this video. I know it’s no new idea to ‘do something that will make you feel better’ but as a longtime sufferer of chronic suicidality I can’t get past my own day-to-day keeping myself in the this shitty game. Gonna watch more of your videos.
Thank you for your chanel It helps me beyond words! I have an adult son, 26 years old, with Schizoeffective disorder with bipolar. It can be a dark journey for him as well as me. You have given me education, help, hope and strength to keep going and I have been able to pass those benefits on to my son. Thank you so very much. Keep it up!!
Why does this make so much sense? Yes, it's so simple but does not mean it lacks measure in how much it will help. I liken it to the simplistic Mell Robbins "Let them" rule. Let them in front of you in traffic; Let them exclude you from the invite; Let them...(fill in the blank).
This is super valuable for me. Thank you.
Soooo true, Doc...& it has only taken me 60 years to get it & begin to practice it regularly. It's not easy to do, but it's do-able!
Dealing with it for over 6 months now. Nothing ive done has seemed to moved the needle with this issue. I feel out of place, dissociated, anxious and complete lack of motivation and pleasure. Its like it wont give until whatever subconscious thing thats holding me back ends up resolving
I can literally sleep 12-16 hours a day. Of course thyroid levels, iron, vitamin D have been checked. If I sleep 7, 9 or 12 hours - I am tired.
OMG 😱! Me too! I hate this shit! I'm on levothyroxine and still feel tired and just want to sleep!
If I didn't care. I wouldn't be upset. Not caring is giving up.
Apathy, Adhedonia, HPA axis dysfunction, Complex ptsd. It physically hurts to do things at times.
Nuanced. My concern is “tasking” or “doing” instead of being- which can have overwhelm and exhaustion. But you explained Process Goal and breaking the connection to the emotion- that should solve burn out. Letting go and allowing our outcomes and expectations to rise and drop away without prejudice. Great framing. Ty.
Im stuck Scott, now for at least seven years. Both ways medicated or not and at 61 my life is whizzing by at an alarming rate. Im scared man. Chronic pain daily. No hope in sight.
Hi Dr Scott! I love your approach to mental health and I resonate so much with most of what you discuss here. HOWEVER , anhedonia is something that I almost never feel when I'm depressed! Is that weird?? I usually feel a deep sadness that pervades every area of life. Even "good things" have a dark lining of sadness or hopelessness when I'm depressed. There's no lack of feeling, it's an intense feeling of profound sadness.
Is this another type of depression??
I saw the title of the video and i thought 'well I am having a very good day (no apathy or anhedonia) and Im really busy today so i am not gonna watch this one. then I thought. nah.. everytime i watch these videos i learn tons of stuff and so I might as well watch it now (during my pomodoro time) so that when inevitably I have apathy and anhedonia at least this info will be in my head' and LO! that's the whole point of the vid! #irony
LOL! Brilliant! I learned about anhedonia from you, which explained so much. After a lifetime of bipolar disorder, ups and downs, I've been living with it for months and have to force myself to do anything. But you always show us the way out of the black holes from personal experience. Since you have been there, done that, we can trust your instincts and we see the proof that it has worked for you. There is a realistic way to successfully deal with mental illness that no 'official theory' can ever find. You found that and share that with us. Thank you, zillions.
I have found you to be the most lucid, helpful source of information on depression, anxiety, and so forth...and I think it is mainly from you having had to dig yourself out of your own hole. it gives authenticity to all your solutions. Thank you!
The way you described having process goals and the difference between those and outcome goals is so helpful. Thank you! When I'm in the black hole, which I describe as the basement of my psyche, my process goals often feel like I'm just going through the motions. Now I really see how going through the motions is a really supportive thing, and not something I need to judge as not good enough.
This is going to be so helpful.
I learn something from your videos almost every time. Thank you for your hard work! Today, however, I also had an “A-ha!” moment! You said something that cracked my defeatist mood. Without sharing too much, I’ll just say this… Instead of the “Just Do It” self-talk (that fails most of the time anyway), I’m going to change it to “Just Get It Over With!” That is something I can definitely see myself actually sticking to! So, thank you, thank you, Thank You, Dr. Eilers!!! 🤟😎🌈☮️
I used to tell myself:. Go take a walk. Just 5 minutes. You dont have to like it you just have to do it. Then I would walk the 5 minutes and feel so much better I'd go on for 30 to 60 minutes.
It`s crazy how relative your advices are, thank you!
Thank you, I needed this so much.
Thanks so much Scott! You are a light in the darkness during these crazy, crazy times. 🙏
What about when you do something at work and it is not perfect and they point it out to you . Then you get super anxious. I used to be the top Salesperson at my company from 2015-2021. Then due to being married (2nd) to an abusive narcissist that broke me and spent all my money, I developed anxiety and terrible procrastination. I also have been making mistakes that I never ever Made before ! I can’t live much longer with this anxiety !
I can relate!
I hear you, steven 🫂
Something similar happened to me, and I realized that my job had become a huge part of my identity. I had a lot of pride in being good at what I did, probably because it was one of the only times in my life that I got a lot of validation from other people, and felt like I had a place in this world where I was accepted. I didn't have the tools or support system to heal from what happened to me, so in my case I never recovered my ability to be a top performer at my job, even though I kept trying for way too long.
Not having a good support system, not processing what happened, not getting help can really affect your health. If you can afford it, please keep looking for help from someone who truly understands narcissistic abuse. Also realize that none of this makes you less than other people. None of this makes you a bad person. What happened to you isn't your fault. If your work performance suffers, that's natural and it's not your fault. If people aren't giving you the support you need, that's not your fault either.
You're a life saver Dr. Scott. Thanks for sharing this with the world so simply and kindly!
Great input, Thank you ❤
I swear your videos just come at the exact perfect time I need them. Thank you for all the extremely helpful information you share on this channel!
Ive listened to many of your videos and while I've benefitted from all of them, this has to be the MOST helpful! Thank you for giving me a way forward despite everything! Definitely sharing this!
I just discovered your channel last week. Your videos have been a huge help during a time of major life transitions and overwhelming changes for me. Thank you. 🙏💜
These advices came at such a right time for me, I could not do without thanking. With ADHD and a constant sinus-graph depression, I always needed to feel good to do anything at all; now I know how to manage and channel that into a tiny step to future betterment rather than letting it to downwards spiral me back into deep lethargy. Thank you for the right perspective, Dr. Eilers.
Sinus graph depression 💡
That is exactly it.
(I had not heard of this description before)
✌️
💯 spot on and I'm profoundly grateful for you. Life-altering helpful. ❤️
Just wanted to say THANK YOU for taking the time to share your knowledge with us!!! I very much appreciate it!! Thank u my brother-n-mental health imperfections... Thank u so much. 🎉
💜🙏🌹🕊️💙