08:00-17:00 For those who might miss out on the good stuff, because the hummingbird story isn't gripping, the nuts and bolts info starts at the 8-minute mark and ends at approx. 17-min mark. Nice information. Professional presentation.
Thank you. One thing that is extremely hard to do is not letting others hurtful words and comments affect us deeply. So much so that they become our thoughts. This may take some serious radical self-care and compassion. Such as finding a hobby that makes us feel amazing that we can manage to do starting 10 minutes a day. Writing, singing ECT. Maybe learning to use healthy boundaries with others and ourselves. And also keeping in mind that there is a way out. I love the saying, “when God closes a door, he opens a window. “Or tears a while down
I was once told by another woman that I wanted too much too soon. Like I didn't deserve what I wanted. I believed her it made me angry. Now I think differently. And you affirm what I believe.
+Sherry Pigeon Thanks Sherry! It's sad when we bring each other down instead of lifting each other up, glad you're finding what you want and deserve :)
Vanessa, your talk touched me in every way imagined possible from beginning to end. I know that the talk was directed towards women, but as a man I can definitely draw distinct parallels in the shared stories to my own life. Thank you so much for this discussion.
you're so welcome Shawn! I'm really happy to hear you were able to draw parallels to your own life. Thank you for being open to hearing this message. :)
Wow I really needed to hear this. I’m 18 years old, in my third year of college as a Biology major (I graduated highschool at 16) and I’ve noticed as I get into harder classes I have less time for my personal time and sacrificing my life to get straight A. Like she said in the Ted talk, I thought that if I’m not hard on myself, if I’m not optimizing productivity, then I am a failure. This Ted talk really opened my eyes to things that I never truly realized before. My plan is to become a doctor and I’m worried that my life will continue as a constant cycle of stressing during the semester and sacrificing my life then relieving that stress over break. I hope I don’t burn out and hopefully the steps she mentioned will help me.
How wonderful that you're already aware of all of this at 18 years old + Ghalia!! I wish I had your insights at 18. :) And yes, practicing self-compassion and visualization are both really helpful tools to take care of yourself and mitigate burnout.
Vanessa! Your valuable insight and message is empowering for women. I could have used you several years ago back in Arlington as a single parent and teacher! Very proud of you, Vanessa!
I loved this, thank you so much Vanessa! I also loved that you were vulnerable up there, not being 'perfect', really walking your talk. It's given me a lot to get back to, particularly visualizing, which I've pushed aside for years while I push myself too hard to be a 'guilty and not-yet-succeeding superwoman'! I really needed to hear what you said.
Great talk and some useful tips and insights although I can't help but feel a little isolated by the 'overachiever' finance / investment banking career still being the measure for 'success' (despite being recognised as artificial). It's important to highlight that this anxiety can be felt in all industries even if you haven't 'reached the top'. I recognise myself in everything you mention but think there's a danger in feeling I'm not even entitled to my own stress because 'who am I to feel stressed', little old me who works in the subsidised arts sector with low wages but a passion that drives me and average amount of achievements to show for. Your own path illustrates your point well but is perhaps less useful in connecting with all women in other, less obviously stressful industries where it's equally and maybe even more important to own our power?! Just a thought on an insomnia-fuelled night. Thank you for your talk
+Caroline Schreiber Thanks for sharing Caroline, you're comments are insightful, I can see how my particular career might not resonate as much with you. I still struggle myself to not define $$ and power as success, even though I know it's not true, there is so much old conditioning around it. We each need to feel our work is worthwhile and define success for ourselves, and it isn't an easy thing to do!
wow, this is really insightful Caroline. And I think you're onto something....even though I've been unwinding these old, toxic definitions of "success," there is still so much implicit bias in myself and the world around what power means, what success means, etc. I completely agree that the anxiety can be felt in all industries and at all levels. Thank you for sharing your perspective. I really appreciate you speaking about this. And yes, you are entitled to your own stress and your own suffering, and I can see how my story may feel less relatable. One thing women everywhere have in common is wanting to own our power more fully, you've tapped into something big there!
I have outdoor cats who were adroit hunters and none of them caught a hummingbird because they fly at a very rapid speed. I also wrote down a few buzz phrases that are a found in a lot of self-help high achiever missives...graduated top of my class from an Ivy League school yet was not happy or felt filfilled...dramatic, frantic, embarrassed acts so I posted it on FB...
there is this strange paradox, where her entire presentation is clearly devised to jump out and pack a punch with her audience, to impress how unique, dynamic and outstanding she is etc, yet everything else about her speaks of what a pack rat she is. Propping up the very system that according to her, she finally abandoned due to it being ultimately unfulfilling. One doesn't want to be ungracious or a grouch either (especially after partaking and benefiting from all the privileges of "playing along"), so what's changed then? What's the big new insight? Is it a brand new insight with no real insight after all? Or is this just a job? If so, I can be a bit more sympathetic. I might even go further to say, that she does her job relatively well actually. So is it the culture, social structure and system in its entirety that I'm not so impressed with? Hardly fair based on a single person either right? One thing modernity has given us is MORE, so stands to reason that we get more motivational speakers too. Have we come to need them more also, because we've come to be MORE DEMOTIVATED than ever before? Wonder why this is so
08:00-17:00 For those who might miss out on the good stuff, because the hummingbird story isn't gripping, the nuts and bolts info starts at the 8-minute mark and ends at approx. 17-min mark. Nice information. Professional presentation.
Thank you. One thing that is extremely hard to do is not letting others hurtful words and comments affect us deeply. So much so that they become our thoughts. This may take some serious radical self-care and compassion. Such as finding a hobby that makes us feel amazing that we can manage to do starting 10 minutes a day. Writing, singing ECT. Maybe learning to use healthy boundaries with others and ourselves. And also keeping in mind that there is a way out. I love the saying, “when God closes a door, he opens a window. “Or tears a while down
I was once told by another woman that I wanted too much too soon. Like I didn't deserve what I wanted. I believed her it made me angry. Now I think differently. And you affirm what I believe.
+Sherry Pigeon Thanks Sherry! It's sad when we bring each other down instead of lifting each other up, glad you're finding what you want and deserve :)
Vanessa, your talk touched me in every way imagined possible from beginning to end. I know that the talk was directed towards women, but as a man I can definitely draw distinct parallels in the shared stories to my own life. Thank you so much for this discussion.
+Shawn Williams Thanks Shawn!
you're so welcome Shawn! I'm really happy to hear you were able to draw parallels to your own life. Thank you for being open to hearing this message. :)
Wow I really needed to hear this. I’m 18 years old, in my third year of college as a Biology major (I graduated highschool at 16) and I’ve noticed as I get into harder classes I have less time for my personal time and sacrificing my life to get straight A. Like she said in the Ted talk, I thought that if I’m not hard on myself, if I’m not optimizing productivity, then I am a failure. This Ted talk really opened my eyes to things that I never truly realized before. My plan is to become a doctor and I’m worried that my life will continue as a constant cycle of stressing during the semester and sacrificing my life then relieving that stress over break. I hope I don’t burn out and hopefully the steps she mentioned will help me.
How wonderful that you're already aware of all of this at 18 years old + Ghalia!! I wish I had your insights at 18. :) And yes, practicing self-compassion and visualization are both really helpful tools to take care of yourself and mitigate burnout.
Vanessa! Your valuable insight and message is empowering for women. I could have used you several years ago back in Arlington as a single parent and teacher! Very proud of you, Vanessa!
Thank you Ann!
I loved this, thank you so much Vanessa! I also loved that you were vulnerable up there, not being 'perfect', really walking your talk. It's given me a lot to get back to, particularly visualizing, which I've pushed aside for years while I push myself too hard to be a 'guilty and not-yet-succeeding superwoman'! I really needed to hear what you said.
+Alison Palmer Thank you Alison! Yes, I so know how it feels to try to be superwoman all the time...I'm still unwinding that pattern ;)
Alison Palme
A talk that exactly I needed to hear! Thank you so much!
Great talk and some useful tips and insights although I can't help but feel a little isolated by the 'overachiever' finance / investment banking career still being the measure for 'success' (despite being recognised as artificial). It's important to highlight that this anxiety can be felt in all industries even if you haven't 'reached the top'. I recognise myself in everything you mention but think there's a danger in feeling I'm not even entitled to my own stress because 'who am I to feel stressed', little old me who works in the subsidised arts sector with low wages but a passion that drives me and average amount of achievements to show for.
Your own path illustrates your point well but is perhaps less useful in connecting with all women in other, less obviously stressful industries where it's equally and maybe even more important to own our power?! Just a thought on an insomnia-fuelled night.
Thank you for your talk
+Caroline Schreiber Thanks for sharing Caroline, you're comments are insightful, I can see how my particular career might not resonate as much with you. I still struggle myself to not define $$ and power as success, even though I know it's not true, there is so much old conditioning around it. We each need to feel our work is worthwhile and define success for ourselves, and it isn't an easy thing to do!
wow, this is really insightful Caroline. And I think you're onto something....even though I've been unwinding these old, toxic definitions of "success," there is still so much implicit bias in myself and the world around what power means, what success means, etc. I completely agree that the anxiety can be felt in all industries and at all levels. Thank you for sharing your perspective. I really appreciate you speaking about this. And yes, you are entitled to your own stress and your own suffering, and I can see how my story may feel less relatable. One thing women everywhere have in common is wanting to own our power more fully, you've tapped into something big there!
What a great message and simple yet powerful tools for us women! Thank you!
Thank you Lee, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you Lee. :)
windows of opportunity are never found at ceilings but at the sides. Where currants of change pass through***
+Apam Merlo love this, thanks for sharing Apam.
Yes, agree Apam!
Apam Merlo cool!
When I have 45 minutes to spare, I take a 2-hour nap!
YEEEESSSS! love love love love this Claudia! Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for the inspiring speech!
glad you liked it!
Great talk Vannessa, I can see myself in your vision and ideas. You had inspired a 18 years old girl:)))
+Trinh Kei So glad you enjoyed it!
aww, that touches my heart. Thank you for sharing Trinh.
I love this yes we are only human.
thank you She!
I wish they had something like this for men
Awesome speech.
Thanks Tina!
Amazing talk...I will definitely use these techniques :)
Wonderful to hear Mona!!
thank you
you're welcome +silver shadow!
Her shiny shoes are so pretty and make her feet very pretty as well, lovely legs on show and a beautiful red dress on. 💃 ❤
thanks
thank you Truong!
@0:29 and that's why you shouldn't let cats outside to injure or kill local fauna.
Success with Ease: Vanessa Loder at TEDxFiDiWomen
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I'm a chronic underachiever!
very good
good one
oh nice
GOOD
great topic! didn't like the separation/distinction between women and men though, as if we all aren't human and live and work side by side.
bice
ok
cool
I don't believe her, the hummingbird banding its head on the ceiling would have died before she did all of those things.
Yeah that kinda sat weird with me too. Plus they would fly into windows to get outside as they can't see glass... not into ceilings...
I have outdoor cats who were adroit hunters and none of them caught a hummingbird because they fly at a very rapid speed. I also wrote down a few buzz phrases that are a found in a lot of self-help high achiever missives...graduated top of my class from an Ivy League school yet was not happy or felt filfilled...dramatic, frantic, embarrassed acts so I posted it on FB...
shaiya XD
ярузге
like ;)
Thanks Iwona!
:)
Shaiya lol
there is this strange paradox, where her entire presentation is clearly devised to jump out and pack a punch with her audience, to impress how unique, dynamic and outstanding she is etc, yet everything else about her speaks of what a pack rat she is. Propping up the very system that according to her, she finally abandoned due to it being ultimately unfulfilling. One doesn't want to be ungracious or a grouch either (especially after partaking and benefiting from all the privileges of "playing along"), so what's changed then? What's the big new insight? Is it a brand new insight with no real insight after all? Or is this just a job? If so, I can be a bit more sympathetic. I might even go further to say, that she does her job relatively well actually. So is it the culture, social structure and system in its entirety that I'm not so impressed with? Hardly fair based on a single person either right? One thing modernity has given us is MORE, so stands to reason that we get more motivational speakers too. Have we come to need them more also, because we've come to be MORE DEMOTIVATED than ever before? Wonder why this is so
Beautiful shiny shoes,she hasn’t got any tights on
Thank you Vannesa Loder for erase my message.
Why you are affraid?