why you shouldn't tell ANYONE your PLANS | Andrew Huberman
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ก.ย. 2023
- Dr. Andrew Huberman is a distinguished American Neuroscientist and Professor of Neurobiology at Stanford School of Medicine. With groundbreaking research and a passion for empowering individuals, he shares tools and advice for focusing and overcoming stress.
In this episode, the host describes science-based protocols for setting and achieving goals in a manner that maximizes the likelihood of reaching them. The host explains how to define a priority and reach a specific goal by systematically assessing the challenge level, measurability, milestones, and action steps needed to make progress from start to finish. The episode also explores research-supported tools to improve performance during cognitive or physical goal work, including directed visualization, variable reward timing, and optimizing the physical environment. Common myths about goal setting and achievement are dispelled, providing listeners with a science-supported toolkit of zero-cost strategies for goal-setting, goal-pursuit, and goal-completion that can be applied to any physical or cognitive endeavor.
👉🏻Watch full podcast on : • Goals Toolkit: How to ...
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Dr. Andrew Huberman
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SoundStripe
#motivation #lifeadvice #speech #Neuroscience #DrAndrewHuberman
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OMG. I’ve been trying to explain why I don’t tell people things I’m thinking about doing! They don’t understand when I say it takes the wind out of my sails. For some reason they think I’m keeping it from them LOL.
Same here. People always think its some sort of slight against them.
People want to be understood and heard. But ultimately, we sometimes share too much and/or to the wrong people. We do this in a way which is more like asking permissions and validation from our close friends/family than actual problem solving advice. Once we cultivate keeping things to yourself, we become more mysterious to other people and in our mind more adequate to face the problems ourselves as they arise. Thinking first, then acting upon it and then asking for help if we are not able to solve it. Two birds, one stone. Cheers!
We also have this in Islam as Prophet Muhammad (may peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Help yourselves to achieve your goals by being discreet, for everyone who is enjoying a blessing is envied”.
Amen exactly you damned if you do & damned if you don’t eh?!
@@Idris.1994.Norway you can’t place peace & blessings upon a man who’s dead, & into a man that is destined to stand before the King of the universe & receive his eternal judgement for being a slimy pedophile who has led so many away from the truth.
As my late mamma would say, “Don’t tell me what you are going to do. Tell me after you’ve already done it.”
Yes. You find out the hard way that your momma really is coldhearted.
*robs a bank* "mom, guess what?"
The energy it takes to explain why you didn’t achieve a goal previously announced is enormous. Humility goes a long way
I work in silence all the time. In my late 20’s I decided I wanted to go back to school and get my degree. Started at the community college, got into a top school and six years later (not all courses transferred plus pandemic) had graduated with a bachelors of science in mathematics-computer science. Social media never found out. Only my closest friends knew about it and some didn’t even know until after I was accepted into my transfer school.
Don’t tell people you’re going to do something, just go out and do it!
As a 19 year old, this motivates me a lot good sir/ma'am. 👍 I'm studying architecture rn and my first year did not go that well due to mental health reasons, so this gave me quite a lot of inspiration and motivation to retry with a stronger mindset and not tell the world about it
I work in silence too. Many of my achievements were never shared. Some only with strangers online because they don't know who I am. After it took me long to graduate with my bachelor's for health reasons, I went to work. After a few years of being underemployed or unemployed I decided to return to school to get a masters degree. Now I am in the middle of my second year. My mom knows, but my brother does not, just like the majority of my relatives. One friend knows, others think that I am still underemployed while in reality I live of off savings. I just hope going back to school will end up being worth it. If not, I am also working on another project I haven't told a soul about... Not even my mom. Going to college is also an opportunity to work on this thing. If one thing does not work out the other will. Maybe they both do. None is not an option available because of the reasons I will not get into right now.
Epic. Epic behavior.
Well done you😊
I told my father I was studying for a medical test. Very difficult test
He said “ you are not going to pass it”. I said what? He repeated himself. I said why not? He said “ you just will not”. That did not affect my confidence.
But I saw how insecure he is. I never told him anything personal again. I did pass.
Wow....
Don't be affected negatively by others bro!
Stay strong and you will win.
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK 😊
Congratulations on passing the medical exams!😊
My father is also very insecure and has npd syndrome like yours probaly. How can a father be jealous of his own son?
There is a possibility that your father actually helped you.. The fact that he said that you aren’t going to pass, made the motivation prove him wrong stronger, so you tried harder to pass. You didn’t get the point of the video if you still think this way
@fireflyxlongobuser5510 or, his Dad is an immature jerk whose opinion matters not.
@@fireflyxlongobuser5510Came here to comment this. Your father is either a very negative person, or he was well aware of the takeaway from this video based on experience alone.
I always found this to be true. Plans seem to have more power when they're kept to yourself. Its almost like they become 'other people's property' when you share them too much.
Hands down one of the worst things is when people start "trying to help" by giving you their ideas and input. They almost drown you in their ideas and they think they are helping, but all it ever does is dilute your own thinking to something that is no longer authentic to you.
Lol so true. I feel like I don’t really tell people jack shit anymore and am this weird quiet person
I keep people out of my business as much as possible because i know they wont understand or be positive about it.
Some things just have to be done regardless how you feel about them.
This is good advice. Telling others about your goals puts unnecessary pressure on you. Also, sometimes the people you tell will start giving you advice and start criticising how you're going about achieving your goal.
It's more motivating to do the work in silence and then surprise people. Sometimes, when you achieve your goal and succeed, those "friends" become jealous and turn out to not to be friends anyway. The crab mentality is real. 🙂
Did you even watch the video?
@WeedsePoentah I agree with this comment, I have a small crappy TH-cam channel, the channel started as a prepping channel, every year I put up a plans video of certain goals I want to achieve, I put the video up for me, but a few people watch, I set some goals to try to achieve in a year, this year I came close, considering my goals are based on building homesteading infrastructure practically by myself. I do some crazy stuff on my videos 😂...I always continue my unfinished goals the following year, because only death can stop me. But I understand what this guy is saying, because this is what I did before, I'm just a addict now on accomplishing what I'm passionate about.
True
I love the fact that Andrew assumed in the beginning that people will support and encourage you. I feel that is a slightly over rated but wonderful misguided thought. Most humans are competitive and run on the bias that keeps them surviving … that they will always come first or succeed. If you genuinely feel a co worker or acquaintance/friend will be happy for you… share this belief… but also be aware many like the status quo to remain in their favour. It is a sad fact of life. Whether it be academically or businesses wise or personal. Don’t let someone else derail you because of a scarcity mindset. 😊
Great video. I spent two years planning to move to another city, go to school, and reset my career and only let people know after I'd rented the place, gotten into the university, and taken the new job. Many people were shocked when I told them, but I had been quite unhappy for awhile and when some of my closest friends said things like "What about me? But you grew up in this town" I knew this was the right choice--sometimes you think people want the best for you but what they really want is you not disrupting their comfort zone and will say things to keep you in the status quo. With school I didn't even tell most people I'd gone back for a Master's til after the first semester when I got all A's and was sure I had studying down after almost 20 years out of university. There's something really empowering about setting healthy goals and pursuing them without the need for external validation--I think it makes you stronger.
Spot on. I've felt these many times throughout my 40 years of life experience. In fact, sometimes even if you share your positive accomplishments that no longer require action, if you share them with the wrong people you lose energy and feel empty.
So true
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:00 🤐 *Avoid announcing your goals to others before taking action, as positive feedback activates reward systems but diminishes long-term motivation.*
01:48 🙉 *Accountability is beneficial, but sharing goals often triggers short-lived positive feedback, reducing the likelihood of goal achievement.*
02:59 📝 *Follow the "don't tell the world" rule; share your goals sparingly, spending more time defining and visualizing them privately for increased probability of success.*
03:41 🤝 *Having an accountability buddy can be helpful, but their role should focus on tough love and reminding you to stay on track, avoiding the typical positive feedback loop.*
05:20 🚀 *Intrinsic motivation, deriving pleasure from the pursuit process itself, is the most powerful and sustainable source of motivation for achieving goals.*
Made with HARPA AI
Even from an AI, that was useful. It’s crazy how it can get the key takeaways so we’ll. It’s like they’re promoting their own product 😭 free of paying for advertisement
The very fact that when you achieve a goal, and those around you find out by themselves, has a much bigger impact.
Confucius said: "A gentleman should be cautious in his words and quick in his actions."
Lil Wayne said "real G's move in silence like lasagna"
The problem I see in announcing your projects/goals is that you expose yourself to outward pressure to keep up to the promise you made (without having to make).
It’s a rewardless risk.
And if you haven’t failed to succeed according to your plan, there’s also less of a surprise and appreciation as people "knew in advance" what was going to happen.
All this doesn’t even account for the situation where people aren’t your friend, and may create obstacles or harm for you.
When I was in the elementary school I told someone whom I wrongly considered to be my friend that I wanted to be a writer when I grew up. For the next few weeks she was just giving me reason after reason to why being a writer is a bad idea every time we meet. In the next 15 or so years whenever I would try to write something over 10 pages long, I would have heard her voice and then fail to finish the thing. Good thing is that I have eventually learned how to give the middle finger to that internal voice. I wrote 2 books since then. Working on my third and planing to publish this one when it is done.
Seems that you firmly held on to your ambition and proved her wrong.
I think it doesn’t necessarily have to be with bad intentions when someone advises you (with good reasoning) better not to pick a certain career path. But once things are said, it may get annoying to hear the same talk over and over again.
- What kind of books do you write?
@@kulturfreund6631 Thank you. It is just that I felt I most answer something.
Yes.
Most of my stories are in speculative fiction/ fantasy genre.
I say these stuff in my head.
For example: See me in 2 years, I will signficantly different then I am today.
I never tell people because I might not take action if I told people
I was so excited to enroll in a radiology program this semester that I told close friends about it. I got some good and bad feedback from my friends. Two weeks in and I dropped out due to insecurities and bad health. Sometimes I wish I would shut the hell up and stop telling people what I want to do. I will be someone important to the larger mass I know I will.
Last line.. you just did it again. 😂
Yes you will…. You got this! 👍🏼
You are weak. You will not be anyone important if you let yourself think that what is discussed in this video is true.
U just told us all again b, shhh 🤫
You certainly could consider enrolling again in the future once your health is improved and feel able to do it, if it’s something you’re really interested in. Just don’t go telling everyone about it, or at least avoid sharing it too widely for as long as you can. Good luck and take care!
I find most ppl don’t believe in anything until it’s actualized /manifest. I try to keep as much as possible to myself.
I’ve grown past it but as a kid if anyone said I was bad at something I would stop doing it completely and immediately, which was extra sad bc my mom was a friction model baby and it took years for her to notice that I responded to encouragement, not friction.
I have fallen prey to this my entire life. I was told I couldn't do it nor should I even try. And this was from my family and I'm fortunate that I have accomplished what little I have in life in spite of the judgment or lack of confidence in me. To be controlled and dependent is a manipulation in a setup in some families . But it is always what we do next that counts the most. Dr Huberman it is such a pleasure to introduce you to many of my friends and to hear what you have to say on many details of human behavior.😊❤
like an artist who doesn't want to show a painting until it's done... any feedback, positive or negative, will extinguish the inner fire
This is so true i've accomplished things which i never told to anyone and all just because of this even i told to few people and majority of them laughed at me which fueled to pursue it more aggressively.
Stay sharp and Secretive 🙂
I’v been doing this for years. I build custom Lego models of buildings that I find interesting, and I never tell anyone what I am working on until I am finished with it. If I tell someone what I am working on, they expect me to finish it, and it then becomes an obligation. My best builds are always the ones that I am the most passionate about, and I lose all of the passion as soon as it becomes an obligation.
Actions speaks louder than words.
If you wanna prove something, don’t say it just do it! Then you can say it.
Thank you for this. I’ve heard that we need to tell people our goals for accountability, but it has never worked for me. I thought I was weird or just a hopeless case. This is great for me!
I also find that when you do not tell others, you become less stressed. You're not comparing your timeline to theirs. You spend more time dwelling on your goals and not of the goals of others.
You're absolutely right! Keeping your goals to yourself can help alleviate unnecessary pressure and avoid unsolicited advice or criticism. There's something truly motivating about working in silence and surprising people with your achievements. Unfortunately, some individuals may reveal their true colors when faced with your success. Stay focused and rise above the crab mentality!
I don't like telling people goals, which is why I keep them to myself.
In India we don’t tell anyone about our goals until it’s achieved because we believe that people will be jealous of you and put bad evil to it and the goal will never be achieved.
Hence, we don’t tell to anyone 😅 except our very close family like parents and siblings.
Absolutely. They will.
I think that’s how olden days pre-science people saw it so they explained it via superstition.
When you OPEN your stomach and fill her up with praises, you subconsciously kill your appetite and thus create CLOSURE. To break through this, you’ll either have to empty your mind of the praises, or supplement your pressure. Great job, Huberman. 👍
Reaching this conclusion in multiple articles, videos and also in religious books...it's the pursuit of happiness - the journey- intrinsic motivation of doing the work needed in the present drives you towards the milestones.
Thank you this is so true and quite often I forget this powerful message.
This is a golden advice. I will definitely stop doing this. I should have known what makes it take too far for me to actually get the thing I pleased.
It's interesting to hear that most people get positive feedback when they announce a goal. That is not my experience. As someone who's goals often gets challenged by family members, I would recommend not going that route route either. I absolutely agree with not telling anyone anything until it's time to celebrate.
Good luck out there!
I’ve already told everyone my goal I’ve been working towards for over 24 years. Nothing has worked, at least telling people the past few years might embarrass me into finding a way to finally do it.
I acheived my goal I wrote my book the problem is deciding whether I want to submit it, sometimes achievement is best left to enjoy the fact you did it for yourself, to prove you could do it. It shouldn't be anyone's place to judge others on what they acheive or dont achieve. The happiness you feel may be short lived but we need to take pleasure in any achievement surely.
The first words out of your mouth fit my intuition on the subject perfectly.
This has been a lesson for me. People ask what I've been up to, and I just say "same ol" even though I've been lazor focused on an important and difficult goal. Too many times I've felt exposed or doubted. Neither approval NOR doubt help me. I need to be left the F alone to work in silence. I let the process and progress itself be my reward.
Yet here you are telling us this
The immediatel positive emotions overcome the willpower to complete the arduous task 👍🏻
Liked AND subscribed just bc you link the full podcast
Yeah i also notice that I get in the habit of not finishing things that i start and a lot of time it’s like I make a little headway but then feel pretty good about it and then taper off of it into procrastination
I just need to stop talking on the phone sharing personal conversations and all together saying anything at all u are right
I understand what he's saying and I believe for most people it's probably true that the positive feedback may work against us achieving those goals. However, I often state my goals on social media because it creates a sense of obligation on my part to complete that endeavor. If I have a goal in mind and I don't tell anyone about it, I'm far more likely to abandon that project.
Writing a novel is a considerable amount of work and one faces a lot of internal challenges throughout the process. It's VERY easy to give up when things get difficult. I worked on my novel for two years and last week I sent the manuscript to an editor. For me, stating my goals holds me more accountable not only to those who've I've told, but also to myself.
My goal for next year is to create my own website. I hadn't told anyone before and have been putting it off since the start of the pandemic. Time will tell if this worked :-)
The opening line is what I've suspected for years. Glad to hear Huberman is saying the same thing.
Counter example: In order to add pressure to myself to follow through, I told people I was competing in my first bodybuilding show in order to make sure I followed through. 3 days before the show, I was desperate to pull out - my mental state after so long cutting and depleting was in the toilet; I couldn't look at myself and my condition objectively at all - but knowing how many people knew about it, some of whom were coming to support me, kept me accountable and in the game. Three days later, I took 1sts in both my classes and was awarded the show MVP trophy. I wouldn't have shown up if I hadn't told anyone about it, such was my mind at the time.
Tell people if it helps keep you accountable.
In any African country this is a general rule of thumb, Never tell people your plans until you've set the causes in motion. Its beautiful to see traditional ideologies compliment Scientism.
I feel like when you tell people what you’re doing, very often they keep asking you about how it’s going and that creates a stress and you simply quit because of that
I didn’t tell anyone when I finally quit cigarettes 10 years ago. I wanted to keep it to myself so that there would be no outside influences. It worked that time.
“Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt” Sun Tzu
GREAT suggestion!!👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
True. It also applies to me when I write it.
Yeah whenever i want to try something new i feel like telling people will almost make myself too scared to do it so i try not to tell people even though i feel excited to share
Been doing TH-cam for around 2.5 years and never told anyone outside my close familly. I like it that. It's much easier grinding without unnecessary "advice" and "feedback" from people who think they know shit.
I need the pressure and reached my goals.
Yep, i also noticed for myself that when announcing my goal, in the background it felt like the thing was already done in some way.
In my experience, both is needed
this is really true, when i told my friends that i will be doing something good which is self improvement , I won't be doing it before I donno why but now i know
This message is stoic. Timeless wisdom. Something I have pondered for a long time. We are born sheep. It's difficult to become the Shepherd we are meant for?
Words have great power , u can speak things into existence
The great think u explain very well 🤝 TQ so much sir
Thank You for useful sharings with scientific information
(however, the music may not be appropriate, it is a little louder and faster than your voice)
This is all too true. I spent my youth sharing my plans in a way of feeling validated, only to abandon my plans for the next "shiny object." Rinse and repeat.
This material can be discovered if a person does a word study to compare/contrast “instruct” against “inspire”. It’s been something I’ve meditated on and written an expansive poem about for several months.
Thanks so much
I run my mouth about my goals all the time.
Usually no one responds and it motivates me to work even harder
This is crazy that science backs this up because I felt God telling me to STOP telling people my business for this reason. Also due to word curses etc. Praise God for science
Now this is a goldmine ❤🎉
Perfectly said 👏
I totally agree💯
I find telling others my goals holds me to them
This is true, i have experienced this in my life aswell.
Seeds grow in darkness. Growth is quiet, destruction is loud.
I have known this for a while… so true
This idea is great thanks sir🎉🎉😊
Yes 100 % absolutely true.
Andrew Hubermon!
absolutely right
In Egypt we say “داري علي شمعتك تقيد". Meaning, hide your candle and it will ignite.
I love that.
A school teacher from the past is great motivator when they doubt you..
I tell my brother when i reach certain goals in my project. I dont really see an issue telling people what my project is about, the project doesnt have an end goal other than selling my company when it becomes worth selling.
💯true…Work smart and stealth
So, actually I agree from the other angle of this. I have received negative feedback in my efforts during the early stages of working towards a goal, and had greatly diminished motivation and plummeted confidence in the goals.
Internalize and refine. Others cannot know the heart of the goal, and therefore will not be aligned with why you are motivated.
I love This because I do this with Jesus everyday and He gives me everything I need .
Yes we all need an accountabilibudy
So astonishing speech! Thank you for drop it off here!
I have done this ino what your saying 💯 but I'm still going to do it!!!
I think a big thing that people might need to work on when choosing what goal to accomplish is just simply that. Choosing what to accomplish. You'll see within yourself if you look hard enough that there are micro goals that you don't even perceive as a goal that your mind will try to accomplish without any conscious input. Wrangling in those micro goals into a category within your mind by saying consciously "okay that belongs in the micro goal category" or "this is not a micro or macro goal" can help facilitate finding grab points within your mind that you can then use to modify your actions on a more minute level.
Could you give an example of one of these micro goals?
stay Humble
Agree with that! I Always rejected the view of Benjamin Hardy who promote the view that telling people our intentions is good.
if you believe it you can achieve it. it doesn't really matter if you tell anyone. just do it. tell everyone, if you want.
So I was lucky to have a malignant narcissistic mother who doubted all my capabilities! I'm still working on (low) self-confidence issues, but I've succeeded in my goals!
What about the argument of, express yourself and say what you think and feel, and just run with it. If it don’t work, laugh at yourself. Best way!!!
If you can’t find someone to believe in you to tell your parents. Worked for me 😅
I always tell people of my plans and my plans always manifests and that’s the way it’s been all my 67years 👍
your plans must be small to tell others
@@benzun9600 Haha..that's what I thought too.
I guess that's the reason why Introverts are more successful because they like to keep things to themselves resulting in saving their energy from flexing about their goals and convincing people that they are doing right without even achieving it but instead giving full energy/attention in actually working in making their goals a reality!
Does anybody know the background music name?
And btw great way to approach our goals!
When I go camping or hiking or kayaking or take a long road trip, I never tell others first. That would ruin my solitude.
It certainly puts weight against what you want to do. While in my own experience.
I have always been bashed or mocked about everything I ever said to anyone else about what I want to do. Even minor and useless things as well...
So definitely say nothing to anyone else about what you will truly do. Even if a few others love to be omniscient about you before this life even happened.
Love your content but the quality looks somewhat low in this video? Watching at 1080
I never liked this guy but he’s right on this for sure!