For the email - I don't think it's about mopping or chores, either. It's about offering to pitch in as the guest. I'm in a similar situation to the emailer. I'm seeing someone and I'm the one always hosting because I don't have roommates. It's always extra work for me to host because when my work day ends, I have to get the place ready and clean enough so I can relax. I do the cooking too, but my partner always offers to help in various ways. He picks up wine or extra appetizers/desserts/ingredients at the store. He offers to help chop vegetables or do the dishes. He's even offered to help take the trash out. I don't usually accept his offers but they are still appreciated. It's what any dinner guest should do, sometimes as the guest you should even start cleaning up or doing dishes without being asked.
I am a big bath person and that is super disgusting. It is one of the grossest things, you’re right. Even as a kid, never! I once knew someone that their whole family used the same facecloth in the morning. I was disgusted. The kids were about 13 and 8, for reference.
Jared's shrinkage joke going over their heads 😂 I will add that I know Japanese culture has people take baths more than showers and they do share bath water too
For the email about her bf saying she should contribute, no one's saying how she's taking the time 4x a week to commute to him. That adds up. Sure he has to spend time cleaning up after eating but she's also spending time always going to him since he clearly stated he doesn't want to go to her place. If he's tired of "doing everything" then he can make the effort to go to her place and it sounds like she'll gladly act hostly and cook. If he doesn't wanna go but wants her to contribute around the place then he should have just thought to discuss moving in together sometime in the near future. Until then he does the hosting and she does the commuting. His complaining doesnt show recognition of her taking the time to always come over
This episode was so funny. Bro. 10 months and you’re staying together 4 days a week. You are not a guest. Pick up groceries, help clean up. Seems like he’s evaluating since they’re going on 1 year. He needs to not hold it all in and explode, she might just need to be asked a few times to get what type of support he needs. And if she’s not about it. Not a good fit. That being said no one should ever feel like they’re being dealt with
In Europe it is pretty normal to share the bath water, especially with the kids. There is not enough hot water for more than one or two baths in a family house with 4 people, at least back in the 90's there wasn't . I would not do it now, nor need to, but it was totally ok, when I was a kid and I am sure less wealthier families still do it, there is nothing wrong with that. But I get why the whole grownup family sharing a bathwater is fucking weird :D I would just shower.
Im in the same situation as the guy because I live in the town my bf and I work in while he commutes, do we’re always at my place. People who aren’t the 24/7 host cant understand how much extra work and stress it is. I have to run home after work so i get there before my bf and start cooking right away since we’re both hungry. I have to decide what to make and have the ingredients. Then after I cook, I serve us and after we eat I put the dishes in sink to do after he leaves so we could have together time. If we have dessert, i have to get up from the movir to serve it and put this in sink. Then after he leaves I have pots and dishes to wash and put away, plus I have to clean the kitchen, the bathroom and the living room we use. I’ll ask him to pick up an ingredient once in a while or get him to pay for takeout or going to restaurant during the week, but its always my idea and I hate asking him to buy me stuff. I’ll ask him to pick up after himself but he never does it on his own. My question is how are people so comfortable being this way? I cant imagine going to a guy’s place every day and he cooks for me and cleans up after us and has to keep his house organized and vacuumed bc im always there. I would definitely help out without being asked because Id feel bad giving him so much work. Him lashing out at her sounds normal under the circumstances- he has a child and she still doesn’t help? Thats insane, being a single dad is tough and now he has basically an extra kid to cook and clean for.
Felt like that bath story was almost fake because it’s so gross. And they listen together ? Awkward The apartment girl - so you show up , eat the food , fuck and chill, and then go home ? Do you offer to pick up groceries for the meals he cooks ? A bottle of wine? Do the dishes ? Yea I’d be mad if i was him too . Not sure who raised you
I was raised in a really traditional family where I was taught I basically have to do everything on dates - drive, open doors, pay, and there wasn't a "script" for having my girlfriend over four times a week because I wasn't really supposed to have a girl in my home until marriage. Honestly if a girl not only came to my home but also offered to clean or purchase something and I let her then she would have been considered desperate and I would have been considered a jerk according to that cultural perspective. Some people really are raised differently, not necessarily in a bad sort of "raised by wolves" way but just in a different way. Still if I have a girlfriend over I do expect her to do the basic things to clean up after herself - don't leave a huge mess, bring your dishes to the sink, things like that, and I do appreciate women who take the initiative of offering to pay for something. When I'm not living with someone I sort of like to be in control of my own home so I wouldn't like it if she just, like, opened a closet and grabbed the vacuum and started vacuuming. I also think communication is important so if I want a girl to bring a bottle of wine or something and she isn't offering to and it really bothers me then I'll just say like, "I'll cook us dinner and do you want to bring a bottle of wine?" If she reacts like, "You jerk I can't believe you'd expect me to do that!" then there's a problem, but usually in my experience they don't react like that, they just hear me and they start contributing a little more. I also take into account that I'm asking her to leave her home where she's in control and comfortable and paying rent and I'm asking her to commute to my home. Especially with the subconscious mind of someone who was raised so traditionally it feels extremely convenient for my girlfriend to just show up on my doorstep, so I feel like the least I can do is put her dish in the dishwasher instead of expecting her to do that. Of course being raised the way I was and now being a part of "mainstream" dating I have to watch out for the risk of being taken advantage of, but I do find that regular communication helps me weed those people out. Getting to the point of being like, "Come on! When will you start contributing?" feels like A. Lack of consistent communication, or B. Something is missing in the story, maybe he did communicate previously or maybe she is taking way more than a typical person would.
It’s easy to judge and say “she must’ve not been raised right” but personally I was similar when I met my husband. He had been married once before me, and already had experience “adulting” if you will. He’s my first relationship, and I had to learn how to be a good partner. Not everyone just “knows” what to do. My husband had a lot of patience and showed me that we are a team, he started to communicate how he prefers the workload to be divided and we compromised what we did/didn’t want to do. It just comes down to communication, I didn’t have that skill because my parents never showed me that you talk things through. Also learning to communicate when you need help. Maybe her boyfriend had a rough week and was needing some help, doing the dishes just that once would’ve probably meant a lot to him. Whether you had parents show you that or not, as an adult you can make your own decision and do what’s best for you.
For the email - I don't think it's about mopping or chores, either. It's about offering to pitch in as the guest. I'm in a similar situation to the emailer. I'm seeing someone and I'm the one always hosting because I don't have roommates. It's always extra work for me to host because when my work day ends, I have to get the place ready and clean enough so I can relax. I do the cooking too, but my partner always offers to help in various ways. He picks up wine or extra appetizers/desserts/ingredients at the store. He offers to help chop vegetables or do the dishes. He's even offered to help take the trash out. I don't usually accept his offers but they are still appreciated. It's what any dinner guest should do, sometimes as the guest you should even start cleaning up or doing dishes without being asked.
Listening to this at work and I was laughing so hard at Jared reading this email 😂😂 loved this episode!!
the woman does not sound grateful and she's taking all of the wonderful things he's doing for her for granted
and the man could have been more respectful in what he was saying and not be passive aggressive.
I am binge listening to these podcasts. You are both HILARIOUS and bring me joy. 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️
Jared’s acting 😂 >>>
Yes please apartment tour!
I am a big bath person and that is super disgusting. It is one of the grossest things, you’re right. Even as a kid, never! I once knew someone that their whole family used the same facecloth in the morning. I was disgusted. The kids were about 13 and 8, for reference.
Jared's shrinkage joke going over their heads 😂
I will add that I know Japanese culture has people take baths more than showers and they do share bath water too
omg lets get to 10k... i want to see this lol.
For the email about her bf saying she should contribute, no one's saying how she's taking the time 4x a week to commute to him. That adds up. Sure he has to spend time cleaning up after eating but she's also spending time always going to him since he clearly stated he doesn't want to go to her place. If he's tired of "doing everything" then he can make the effort to go to her place and it sounds like she'll gladly act hostly and cook. If he doesn't wanna go but wants her to contribute around the place then he should have just thought to discuss moving in together sometime in the near future. Until then he does the hosting and she does the commuting. His complaining doesnt show recognition of her taking the time to always come over
This episode was so funny.
Bro. 10 months and you’re staying together 4 days a week. You are not a guest. Pick up groceries, help clean up. Seems like he’s evaluating since they’re going on 1 year. He needs to not hold it all in and explode, she might just need to be asked a few times to get what type of support he needs. And if she’s not about it. Not a good fit. That being said no one should ever feel like they’re being dealt with
Just subscribed so we can see Jared’s studio. Also why do I feel like he’s going to meet his soulmate on this date 🤭
Saw Jared in Phoenix tonight! Such a great show!
14:14 this is why your friendship is believable, the 🎯 always comes from the closest to you🤣
You guys are the BEST!!
In Europe it is pretty normal to share the bath water, especially with the kids. There is not enough hot water for more than one or two baths in a family house with 4 people, at least back in the 90's there wasn't . I would not do it now, nor need to, but it was totally ok, when I was a kid and I am sure less wealthier families still do it, there is nothing wrong with that. But I get why the whole grownup family sharing a bathwater is fucking weird :D I would just shower.
Im in the same situation as the guy because I live in the town my bf and I work in while he commutes, do we’re always at my place. People who aren’t the 24/7 host cant understand how much extra work and stress it is. I have to run home after work so i get there before my bf and start cooking right away since we’re both hungry. I have to decide what to make and have the ingredients. Then after I cook, I serve us and after we eat I put the dishes in sink to do after he leaves so we could have together time. If we have dessert, i have to get up from the movir to serve it and put this in sink. Then after he leaves I have pots and dishes to wash and put away, plus I have to clean the kitchen, the bathroom and the living room we use. I’ll ask him to pick up an ingredient once in a while or get him to pay for takeout or going to restaurant during the week, but its always my idea and I hate asking him to buy me stuff. I’ll ask him to pick up after himself but he never does it on his own.
My question is how are people so comfortable being this way? I cant imagine going to a guy’s place every day and he cooks for me and cleans up after us and has to keep his house organized and vacuumed bc im always there. I would definitely help out without being asked because Id feel bad giving him so much work. Him lashing out at her sounds normal under the circumstances- he has a child and she still doesn’t help? Thats insane, being a single dad is tough and now he has basically an extra kid to cook and clean for.
Gold. Pure gold
Great episode as always
I would def listen to the *Betches Beauty podcast 🤩
Felt like that bath story was almost fake because it’s so gross. And they listen together ? Awkward
The apartment girl - so you show up , eat the food , fuck and chill, and then go home ?
Do you offer to pick up groceries for the meals he cooks ? A bottle of wine? Do the dishes ?
Yea I’d be mad if i was him too . Not sure who raised you
I was raised in a really traditional family where I was taught I basically have to do everything on dates - drive, open doors, pay, and there wasn't a "script" for having my girlfriend over four times a week because I wasn't really supposed to have a girl in my home until marriage. Honestly if a girl not only came to my home but also offered to clean or purchase something and I let her then she would have been considered desperate and I would have been considered a jerk according to that cultural perspective. Some people really are raised differently, not necessarily in a bad sort of "raised by wolves" way but just in a different way. Still if I have a girlfriend over I do expect her to do the basic things to clean up after herself - don't leave a huge mess, bring your dishes to the sink, things like that, and I do appreciate women who take the initiative of offering to pay for something. When I'm not living with someone I sort of like to be in control of my own home so I wouldn't like it if she just, like, opened a closet and grabbed the vacuum and started vacuuming. I also think communication is important so if I want a girl to bring a bottle of wine or something and she isn't offering to and it really bothers me then I'll just say like, "I'll cook us dinner and do you want to bring a bottle of wine?" If she reacts like, "You jerk I can't believe you'd expect me to do that!" then there's a problem, but usually in my experience they don't react like that, they just hear me and they start contributing a little more. I also take into account that I'm asking her to leave her home where she's in control and comfortable and paying rent and I'm asking her to commute to my home. Especially with the subconscious mind of someone who was raised so traditionally it feels extremely convenient for my girlfriend to just show up on my doorstep, so I feel like the least I can do is put her dish in the dishwasher instead of expecting her to do that. Of course being raised the way I was and now being a part of "mainstream" dating I have to watch out for the risk of being taken advantage of, but I do find that regular communication helps me weed those people out. Getting to the point of being like, "Come on! When will you start contributing?" feels like A. Lack of consistent communication, or B. Something is missing in the story, maybe he did communicate previously or maybe she is taking way more than a typical person would.
WHEN ARE YOU GONNA START CONTRIBUTING AROUND HERE
It’s easy to judge and say “she must’ve not been raised right” but personally I was similar when I met my husband. He had been married once before me, and already had experience “adulting” if you will. He’s my first relationship, and I had to learn how to be a good partner. Not everyone just “knows” what to do. My husband had a lot of patience and showed me that we are a team, he started to communicate how he prefers the workload to be divided and we compromised what we did/didn’t want to do. It just comes down to communication, I didn’t have that skill because my parents never showed me that you talk things through. Also learning to communicate when you need help. Maybe her boyfriend had a rough week and was needing some help, doing the dishes just that once would’ve probably meant a lot to him. Whether you had parents show you that or not, as an adult you can make your own decision and do what’s best for you.
The bath family sounds British. Or South African - a place where conserving water is actually super important a lot of the year.
She wrote in with more context after they heard the episode and you're correct - she's American, but they're English!
hair day.... 2.5 hours