The inability to be kind to ourselves is a major indicator of past trauma. Trauma robs us of kindness and self love, not just emotional and social regulation and functionality.
How important is as a parent realize that the future inner voice of our children is our voice in their first years which has been internalized. Let's be that compassionate voice so they can build a good mental health.
Thank you both, this we incredibly well timed for me as I've been starting to struggle with burnout just as I have been making some solid forward progress in self-compassion and acceptance. Dr. Germer...yes, I imagine many more than I will be getting a lot from this conversation, thank you. Also, your realisitic, optimistic and joyous state of being is really uplifting and encouraging while considering these difficult topics and how to self-actualize.
Timestamp: 32:26 when the relentless striving/type A/perfectionism "solution" contributes to the problem, the model of burn out, and the root of the problem is shame....needing to reexamine our sense of self worth....🎯🎯🎯
Really helpful discussion! The shame is so deep-seated, and something that helped me get a foot in the door was IFS. It was easier for me to recognize and take care of the part of me that’s 5 years old than my current adult self, and I can’t believe how much of a difference that made. There are other parts that are more guarded or shame-bound, so the work is ongoing. It takes some creativity and patience to work with those parts. The behavioral compassion has been huge as well. I just finished doing my weekend reset/prep work, and sitting in my clean room with good food made for the week, I feel like a queen. ☺️
Thanks for your comment; I found it very interesting and encouraging; I would love to hear more about your experiences with IFS therapy as I've only briefly heard of it in passing and keep coming across mentions of it. I wondered how you came across it yourself and whether there is anything specific that is more appealing for you than other therapies !? Also, I really loved your comment about self care at the end and could imagine the feeling of both achievement and joy at reaping the rewards of your efforts ☺🙏. Well done 😁👍
Agree! Forrest is an absolutely brilliant interviewer. So many of us, me included, think you have doctoral level capabilities. Dr. Forrest Hanson in the future?
I've always been drawn to depth psychology, but recently I've been thinking about its conflicting relationship to Eastern religious practices like meditation, which aim to transcend all the content and complexes, and I was reminded of this when the guest spoke about loving ourselves out of shame. Sometimes the solution is to step into a whole different way of being and feeling. Maybe we don't have to hold it all. Maybe that's part of the problem.
Fierce self-compassion? How about internal and external self-compassion. I exercise fierce self-compassion for myself first, in response to trauma and self-bullying. As fierce self-compassion (internal) puts to rest the old internal dialogue, I am enabled to extend the same fierce self-compassion to a suffering world (external). Maybe it seems like nitpicking, but my life experience demands fierce self-compassion for myself and those I care about. ❤️
Grazie per il video, mi sono iscritta al canale 😊 La self-compassion mi sta cambiando la vita in meglio. Sarebbe meraviglioso partecipare a un seminario condotto dal Dottor Germer e dalla Dottoressa Neff ❤ Fate un salto in Italia per favore, abbiamo bisogno di voi 😂💛 grazie!
I like this guy. But meditating IS behavioral self compassion. It is taking an action to calm ourselves, being mindful, slow our neurotic minds, practice conscious breathing, use mantras, figure out what else we need, etc.. it's scientifically proven to help. I'm surprised he said this, but he's certainly entitled to not like meditating for himself.
Timestamp: 49:06 overzealousness...man, the double down, yes...intention of the struggle and "pushing through"...wisdom versus compassion...if it's hurting, it's self harm...bro stop it! 🎯
Geeee, it's a HUMAN thing 30:00 -- aren't we meant and made for holding each other, others? it's sad that we have to learn to self soothe, honestly. It's easy to give...hard to find, due to anti-social media and 'smart' tech which is so unwise. Not how we were wired and I'm innately attuned to natural. This era is unnatural. Great episode, as always though and otherwise.
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The inability to be kind to ourselves is a major indicator of past trauma. Trauma robs us of kindness and self love, not just emotional and social regulation and functionality.
"what do I need" is always my go-to... Usually I need to hide under some blankets and have a good meal when I get home ❤️
Timestamp: 23:09... quintessential question: what do I need? .... tender behavioral compassion: a) comforting, b) soothing, c) validating 🎯
I find self compassion is useful in overcoming the inner critic.
Interesting comment; would you care to expand on that a little; I'd love to learn more, thank you 🙏
“You’re a brilliant interviewer “❤
So true!
With so many obligations, due dates and other adulting challenges, this message is so on time for me. Peace to everyone looking to heal
Listening right now and it’s already so enriching to my morning. Thanks for doing these awesome interviews, Forrest.
Thank you Forrest. You asked many of the "negative" questions I've been thinking about self compassion and the answers landed.
How important is as a parent realize that the future inner voice of our children is our voice in their first years which has been internalized. Let's be that compassionate voice so they can build a good mental health.
Loved this. Mindfulness with warmth. Put down the whip. Hold ourselves before we hold our experience. Really practical suggestions. Thank you both
I love the topic of self-compassion. I would like to restart my career from the self compassion perspective.
One of THE BEST Self compassion explanations I have heard EVER!!
This is such a heart-warming conversation. You both are so generous and kind.
I love you Forest!! You are absolutely working from your gifts!! This podcast in hand with my healing journey work has been such a powerful source!!!
This is such a timely interview for me! Thanks Forrest for another great video 👏
I love the phrase “the mind is a cave of bats” Forrest. So true! Great discussion.
I agree, a brilliant interviewer. And a brilliant interviewee too!
Amazing episode. Thank you!
Thank you both so much ❤
I loved this. Need to listen over and over.
Thank you both, this we incredibly well timed for me as I've been starting to struggle with burnout just as I have been making some solid forward progress in self-compassion and acceptance. Dr. Germer...yes, I imagine many more than I will be getting a lot from this conversation, thank you. Also, your realisitic, optimistic and joyous state of being is really uplifting and encouraging while considering these difficult topics and how to self-actualize.
Wonderful conversation. Thank you. ❤
Timestamp: 32:26 when the relentless striving/type A/perfectionism "solution" contributes to the problem, the model of burn out, and the root of the problem is shame....needing to reexamine our sense of self worth....🎯🎯🎯
Mahalo for this valuable and substantive conversation, as evidenced by my enthusiastic and multiple comments. 😅❤👍
Really helpful discussion! The shame is so deep-seated, and something that helped me get a foot in the door was IFS. It was easier for me to recognize and take care of the part of me that’s 5 years old than my current adult self, and I can’t believe how much of a difference that made.
There are other parts that are more guarded or shame-bound, so the work is ongoing. It takes some creativity and patience to work with those parts. The behavioral compassion has been huge as well. I just finished doing my weekend reset/prep work, and sitting in my clean room with good food made for the week, I feel like a queen. ☺️
Thanks for your comment; I found it very interesting and encouraging; I would love to hear more about your experiences with IFS therapy as I've only briefly heard of it in passing and keep coming across mentions of it. I wondered how you came across it yourself and whether there is anything specific that is more appealing for you than other therapies !? Also, I really loved your comment about self care at the end and could imagine the feeling of both achievement and joy at reaping the rewards of your efforts ☺🙏. Well done 😁👍
Thank you so much Chris and Forrest
Conditional love (compassion) is so ingrained now in our culture it's hard to imagine that most of us even know that it is a misapprehension.
thank you very much
Great job, you are amazing interview.
wow not even all the way through yet but i felt the need to say this is one of ur best yet! thank u chris and forrest!
Incredibly poignant and perfectly timed. Thank you.
Love this!! Thank you both so much!! 🎉🎉❤
Agree! Forrest is an absolutely brilliant interviewer. So many of us, me included, think you have doctoral level capabilities. Dr. Forrest Hanson in the future?
32:00 --- beautiful, Forest. yes yes yes. Totally yes.
I've always been drawn to depth psychology, but recently I've been thinking about its conflicting relationship to Eastern religious practices like meditation, which aim to transcend all the content and complexes, and I was reminded of this when the guest spoke about loving ourselves out of shame. Sometimes the solution is to step into a whole different way of being and feeling. Maybe we don't have to hold it all. Maybe that's part of the problem.
Fierce self-compassion? How about internal and external self-compassion. I exercise fierce self-compassion for myself first, in response to trauma and self-bullying. As fierce self-compassion (internal) puts to rest the old internal dialogue, I am enabled to extend the same fierce self-compassion to a suffering world (external).
Maybe it seems like nitpicking, but my life experience demands fierce self-compassion for myself and those I care about. ❤️
💜💜💜
Grazie per il video, mi sono iscritta al canale 😊 La self-compassion mi sta cambiando la vita in meglio. Sarebbe meraviglioso partecipare a un seminario condotto dal Dottor Germer e dalla Dottoressa Neff ❤ Fate un salto in Italia per favore, abbiamo bisogno di voi 😂💛 grazie!
I like this guy. But meditating IS behavioral self compassion. It is taking an action to calm ourselves, being mindful, slow our neurotic minds, practice conscious breathing, use mantras, figure out what else we need, etc.. it's scientifically proven to help. I'm surprised he said this, but he's certainly entitled to not like meditating for himself.
have you had any nurse clients with child abuse who was 'the best' nurse before crashed and burned and ....died?
Timestamp: 49:06 overzealousness...man, the double down, yes...intention of the struggle and "pushing through"...wisdom versus compassion...if it's hurting, it's self harm...bro stop it! 🎯
Geeee, it's a HUMAN thing 30:00 -- aren't we meant and made for holding each other, others? it's sad that we have to learn to self soothe, honestly. It's easy to give...hard to find, due to anti-social media and 'smart' tech which is so unwise. Not how we were wired and I'm innately attuned to natural. This era is unnatural.
Great episode, as always though and otherwise.