I agree with the first part of Romona Klassen’s post, the seven of you go to his office, and take his time to find out the answers you need. Just make sure it’s a day you have time to sit there until he lets you all into his office to answer all your questions.
For shock factor, I think all 7 of you need to go together to his office and just stand there until he realizes who you all are. He would be looking at himself in all of you. Honestly you all have a right to know your biological father even in this case, I think. It's such a sensitive subject though, I know. Maybe write him a letter telling him of your findings and see where it goes from there. At this point you are afraid of something, and shouldnt be. You are right on one thing. You are who you are because of the loving parents who raised. You are an amazing man!
Thank you, Ramona! You're right - and I've never even considered it. I am afraid of something. I don't know why. But you're right that I should write a letter, or find a scenario where I can get all of us there at his office...stay tuned.
@@theberrychronicles9304 I promise you, I will stay tuned and continue praying for all of you to finally have the closure you need. Yes, I said NEED. Dont waste any more time. Just do it. "What's the worst that can happen?" my therapist always asked me. Your fear is the fear of rejection and of the unknown. How will you ever know unless you do something. As elegant as you write, I believe a letter would be a good start and if that doesn't pan out an in person visit from all of you might just do it. You wont know any results until you try. I am with you on this. Hope my encouragement helps.
You have valid points. One thing to keep in mind is that he was just a donor, not to minimize it. The reason i say that is because you have an awesome father that loves you very much. It sucks that you’re parents waited so long to tell you. My father abandoned my mom and me when i was 9 months old. After so many (50) years being tormented by his disinterest in me, i decided to look at him as a sperm donor. Since then i have been able to move on and have also had limited interaction with “my donor” without any emotional baggage because i understand that he is incapable of being a father to me. Life is too precious to let “sperm donors” occupy free space in our head. Wish you the best moving forward, go meet him and you’ll see how good you’re going to feel.
I think that one of you makes an appointment with him and then all of you show up! Wouldn't that be fun! You could still pay for the appointment, but maybe have a chat session instead and all of you get some answers!
You are wise in proceeding cautiously. My hunch is that he has followed up on several of you at some point during your life. Maybe he's even watched your videos. I think you should take a group photo and send it as a thank you for giving you all the gift of life.
I thoroughly agree - send him a nice picture of all of you, with your thanks! Being kind, I feel, is the best way for him to acknowledge this, and perhaps explain why he did this. As long as he didn't father 500 children, he's good, same as any other anonymous donor. PS add the link to your videos, in case he hasn't seen them...
My story is different as my father was adopted but then died in WWII. But to me it's perplexing, bothersome, and once in a while, during a quiet moment, gut wrenching. My mother never met my dad's adopted family so I know little of his history but we do have his birth surname, year he was born, and where he was born. Whether his first and middle names that mom knew were his birthnames is unclear. On his WWII enlistment card a male relative is listed but that turned out in a dead end. Recently I did a DNA kit and found several pointers back to a likely maternal grand-mother. Her age fits, her husbands last name fits, and the state fits. She had a girl per birth records but no birth records of a boy. None of her descendents that I was able to contact have ever taken one of the female-line-only-DNA tests so I will never know. I would have loved to have known my dad.
You are alive because he did what he did. You need to embrace the gift of you. The rest is a sideline. I grew up in a family number four with mother who on a regular basis told me she tried to give me away to her cousin. Have worked through it and see what I have is a gift. It made me stronger, made me focus on having honest people with integrity in my life. God gives us these things to learn or not learn our choice. I chose love and growth. Jewel sound hands says it all " in the end only kindness matters". ,,
I'd caution anyone telling someone else what they NEED to embrace in life, but I appreciate the sentiment. I am grateful that mental health counseling and close friends have helped me along the way, but I know others like me don't feel the same way, particularly when the outcome hasn't been as positive. But like you, I chose love and growth. I'm glad I did.
Have you seen VICE Feb 19 "1 sperm doner, 17+ kids and a $5M Lawsuit." ? I'm sure you've done plenty of research on this subject but I just came across the above and wanted to share it with you. Hope you don't mind. I have compassion for you.
I agree with the first part of Romona Klassen’s post, the seven of you go to his office, and take his time to find out the answers you need. Just make sure it’s a day you have time to sit there until he lets you all into his office to answer all your questions.
The days where secrets could be kept are gone. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.
Thank you for that! I'll definitely keep you posted :)
For shock factor, I think all 7 of you need to go together to his office and just stand there until he realizes who you all are. He would be looking at himself in all of you. Honestly you all have a right to know your biological father even in this case, I think. It's such a sensitive subject though, I know. Maybe write him a letter telling him of your findings and see where it goes from there. At this point you are afraid of something, and shouldnt be. You are right on one thing. You are who you are because of the loving parents who raised. You are an amazing man!
Thank you, Ramona! You're right - and I've never even considered it. I am afraid of something. I don't know why. But you're right that I should write a letter, or find a scenario where I can get all of us there at his office...stay tuned.
@@theberrychronicles9304 I promise you, I will stay tuned and continue praying for all of you to finally have the closure you need. Yes, I said NEED.
Dont waste any more time. Just do it. "What's the worst that can happen?" my therapist always asked me. Your fear is the fear of rejection and of the unknown. How will you ever know unless you do something. As elegant as you write, I believe a letter would be a good start and if that doesn't pan out an in person visit from all of you might just do it. You wont know any results until you try. I am with you on this. Hope my encouragement helps.
@@theberrychronicles9304 waiting and praying. " what's the worst that can happen?"
You have valid points. One thing to keep in mind is that he was just a donor, not to minimize it. The reason i say that is because you have an awesome father that loves you very much. It sucks that you’re parents waited so long to tell you. My father abandoned my mom and me when i was 9 months old. After so many (50) years being tormented by his disinterest in me, i decided to look at him as a sperm donor. Since then i have been able to move on and have also had limited interaction with “my donor” without any emotional baggage because i understand that he is incapable of being a father to me. Life is too precious to let “sperm donors” occupy free space in our head. Wish you the best moving forward, go meet him and you’ll see how good you’re going to feel.
You have a great voice. Hooley on the woman who criticize it. Godspeed in finding your answers
I think that one of you makes an appointment with him and then all of you show up! Wouldn't that be fun! You could still pay for the appointment, but maybe have a chat session instead and all of you get some answers!
I don't hate that idea...
This is just unbelievable. Wow!
You are wise in proceeding cautiously. My hunch is that he has followed up on several of you at some point during your life. Maybe he's even watched your videos.
I think you should take a group photo and send it as a thank you for giving you all the gift of life.
I thoroughly agree - send him a nice picture of all of you, with your thanks! Being kind, I feel, is the best way for him to acknowledge this, and perhaps explain why he did this. As long as he didn't father 500 children, he's good, same as any other anonymous donor. PS add the link to your videos, in case he hasn't seen them...
My story is different as my father was adopted but then died in WWII. But to me it's perplexing, bothersome, and once in a while, during a quiet moment, gut wrenching.
My mother never met my dad's adopted family so I know little of his history but we do have his birth surname, year he was born, and where he was born. Whether his first and middle names that mom knew were his birthnames is unclear. On his WWII enlistment card a male relative is listed but that turned out in a dead end.
Recently I did a DNA kit and found several pointers back to a likely maternal grand-mother. Her age fits, her husbands last name fits, and the state fits.
She had a girl per birth records but no birth records of a boy.
None of her descendents that I was able to contact have ever taken one of the female-line-only-DNA tests so I will never know.
I would have loved to have known my dad.
I know 2 of your half siblings and your bio dad. Would love to speak with you.
You are alive because he did what he did. You need to embrace the gift of you. The rest is a sideline. I grew up in a family number four with mother who on a regular basis told me she tried to give me away to her cousin. Have worked through it and see what I have is a gift. It made me stronger, made me focus on having honest people with integrity in my life. God gives us these things to learn or not learn our choice. I chose love and growth. Jewel sound hands says it all " in the end only kindness matters". ,,
I'd caution anyone telling someone else what they NEED to embrace in life, but I appreciate the sentiment. I am grateful that mental health counseling and close friends have helped me along the way, but I know others like me don't feel the same way, particularly when the outcome hasn't been as positive. But like you, I chose love and growth. I'm glad I did.
Have you seen VICE Feb 19 "1 sperm doner, 17+ kids and a $5M Lawsuit." ? I'm sure you've done plenty of research on this subject but I just came across the above and wanted to share it with you. Hope you don't mind. I have compassion for you.
Do you think you will ever confront the sperm donor?