I don't know if someone else made this suggestion since I am new to viewing these wonderful videos. I take care of my mom who just turned 99 and has some dementia. A few months ago she fell and broke her ankle using the bathroom. As I had in the past after different surgeries, I put a portable commode right next to her bed. I first put one of those office-type plastic carpet protectors underneath. A tall trash container next to it is where all paper products go. I used zip ties to fasten a pump bottle of hand sanitizer right to the leg of the commode within easy reach. My mom has recovered from the broken ankle and is again using her walker instead of me transporting her in a wheelchair. However, I have left the bedside commode in place. I empty it into the toilet myself and have a spray bottle of sanitizer I use to clean the bucket of the commode. This way I monitor what goes into the toilet. We had had several sewer blockages in the past. My mom uses an incredible amount of toilet paper! Also, I didn't want any type of wipe or facial tissue or paper towel, etc., put into the plumbing of our old house. Also, practically every time my mom has fallen it has been related to the bathroom. My mom seems content to use the commode and can use it most of the time by herself. When I help her get ready for bed I help make sure she's completely clean and ready for bed. I also help her brush her teeth, which she still has at 99. I feel a real relief that I don't have to worry about plumbing back-ups anymore. That was a real nightmare! I like the suggestion of disabling the flush mechanism. But this way I don't have to fish things out of the toilet, except occasionally I don't have to remove unsuitable things from the commode bucket before flushing its contents. Sorry this is so long-winded. But dealing with the toileting has been a major challenge.
@@milahall4265 No. She would use a large roll every day. Sadly, it took her needing complete assistance before things let up a bit. It's very interesting that so many caregivers face this difficulty. I think it's related to compulsive behaviors that develop at certain stages of dementia.
99? God I’d rather die first. I cannot do this for another 10 years. God bless you. That’s what people always say to me. But god isn’t helping me. I don’t care if I become a saint. All I want is some sort of life in this one.
This is very helpful. My sister often places her soiled Depends in the wastebasket and whenever she attempts to use the bathroom she never turns on the exhaust. Needless to say, the entire household knows that she's going to that bathroom upstairs. To combat this, I place a motion sensor on the bathroom fan and set the timer on it to run an additional 15 minutes after she vacates the bathroom. Also, to keep down the smell of her depends, I purchased a baby diaper pail, which helps keep unwanted scents locked in a deodorized bag. I hope this helps someone and thank you again for the tips.
I'm experiencing this with my 94-year-old grandfather. He used to put his soiled Depends in the hamper and rolled inside his pants. Needless to say, I ended up washing one with his laundry. The stench! I addressed it, and since then, he's been hiding the spoiled depends around the bathroom. My sense of smell is good so finding them isn't an issue. The concerns are the smell. Anyway... God bless us all
@@solidrock7998 I wonder if it would help if you were to label the diapers with numbers when you bring them home from the store (1/24, 2/24, etc.)? I remember doing the same kind of thing when I was a toddler--circle of life...
No it doesn’t just “ feel” like a lot of time spent cleaning the messes up, It Is A Lot of Time! It is exhausting, and frustrating. Even with the use of depends, and chux pads it doesn’t help that much. It is a huge amount of work especially if the family member doesn’t think they need to be changed or cleaned up. Despite doing all the help you can, it’s still a huge amount of work for the caretaker.
And this is probably why it's one of the biggest reasons for making a long term care decision. My mother has Crohn's disease too so every BM is diarrhea. What you described mirrors a lot of my own experiences. I was hoping to get more out of this video than I did.
My mom is embarrassed by having to wear disposable undies and has started hiding the soiled ones all over the house. I always know from the smell when I enter a room that she has soiled one, so I have to hunt. She doesn’t remember doing it, nor where she hid it.
@@Shiskabobber1 Sorry to respond so late, I hope you are managing ok. Yes I think this video only addresses those with mild toileting issues. Yes it is hard to have a routine with someone with dementia and if they have no control of their bowel or urination. Her tips were not that helpful, I have provide a basket on the sink counter with depends, wipes next to the toilet, but my LO just ignores them. He often causes the toilet to over flow. It’s very frustrating. Hang in there.
I work in a care facility, We remove the waste basket liner after every toileting session (because of briefs and wipes used and discarded) we change the pads on the bed to fresh pads and sheets (if necessary) to keep the smell out of their room. It’s good practice to do at home as well.
Leaving a clean brief on the edge of the tub is so helpful although after working for a year we are getting to the point of not always remembering to put a new one on. Lots of lysol wipes. Plastic cover for mattress and washable bed pads are helping for now.
I deeply appreciate the level of sensitivity you have shown with approaching this topic. We are entering into a very troubling area of care for our family member. Its both heartbreaking and scary so this is very helpful. Thank you.
I have found my husband with dementia really appreciates me going with him to the toilet and i sit on a stool and keep him “company”. That way i’m there if he needs help with anything.
THANK YOU SO MUCH. YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD. I'M GOING THROUGH THIS WITH MY WIFE OF 57 YEARS. I GO WITH HER TO THE REST ROOM & HELP HER WHICH HELPS A LOT FOR BOTH OF US.
This is a great set of suggestions. I wish I had seen this earlier. I have also left a lighted path to the bathroom, with doors open, lights, on and the toilet lid up...like a runway. The scheduling trips has helped me too. My husband is still resistant to having help, but I ask him to do this for me, because it makes life much easier for both of us.
My husband has vascular dementia and diabetes. Recently he urinated off and on for 3 hours, couch, den, kitchen. Wouldn’t put on Depends. He did not know he had to go and could not stop it. When sugar collection becomes to great in the kidneys this happens. It was my first experience with this. I got a potty chair for the den, additional depends ( he’ll wear them instead of a hospital visit) and I will get a diaper pail like a viewer suggested. The kitchen is our go to place if all else fails. It is the easiest place to clean. Love these videos.
When my loved one is upset because they need help - I say - lets do this together. Then I mention something I need help with. Could you help me wash the table? (Even if it’s clean) when people stop by my loved one tells them how much help I need and I get to brag about all they are doing. Then people offer me help. I try and keep a list of little things that can make life better. I have learned there are many generous people all around us that want to help if they know what to do.
When my 93 year old husband became upset that I have to do everything for him such as bathing, shaving, wiping, changing diapers etc. he was ashamed about it. I told him God put us together to take care of each other, he cared for me through 4 major orthopedic surgeries and two minor strokes and now its my turn to care for him. He seems to understand what we do is out of love.
Hello! Thank you so much for your very helpful videos! I love how thorough and thoughtful you are... it’s been so helpful. Our toilet issue with my father-in-law is a bit different... he does “go” in the toilet but isn’t wiping properly and we find “stuff” on the roll and even on towels from him not washing hands properly. We just got a bidet attachment for the toilet to help with cleanliness and to prevent the mess on his hands that gets on things, including under his fingernails. I’m hoping this is the solution to keep things clean. So grateful to have found you!
I just found your channel and have subscribed. I'm the sole caregiver for my wife who is in the late stage of Huntington's disease and is losing mobility and has increasing dementia. Toileting and eating and drinking are becoming more serious concerns. I think your channel will be a great help.
Such great information. My mom passed away 😢. It's so difficult caring for a loved one. I learned so much. No matter how often we cleaned and shampooed the smell would linger.
Thank you for mentioning this sensitive topic. I feel better for knowing we are not alone with this problem. I care for my 88-year old husband and shower and wash him and clean all his bedding everyday but sometimes I feel defeated by it all. It’s hard work and time consuming but so necessary. I open windows and use air fresheners but am still conscious that things are not as they used to be and for our own sense of self-respect, don’t really want people to know how much struggle goes into keeping things nice.
@@allykatharvey Research chlorophyll - it can really reduce odors. - ***start with low doses to watch for side effects. I get the Dr. Souza's liquid - transfer it out of its bottle or pour over the sink - the bottle just doesn't pour the chlorophyll without dripping all over and it can stain. You can try capsules from the same company. I like this brand because its taste is mild and no mint added which I don't like.
Thank you, Natalie! Your caring delivery of information is so refreshing and helps me get the language to use that will not trigger resentment. "Let's go take care of business.". My Mom, with mid-stage Vascular Dementia, has recently had bad blood glucose episodes (in the 300's after just being pre-diabetic). She was independent in her morning routine for breakfast but now we are trying to change the choices and even with a list it is a little confusing. But she understands that if we get a handle on her diet and exercise now that maybe soon she will be able to have a little bit of her usual treats like a small Pepsi a day or ice cream after supper. She thought using maple syrup on waffles was ok because pure Maple syrup is natural. She accepts that her food choices before got her here but she still struggles to understand what are good choices. Baby steps.
Thank you for the information. I am a Concierge at an assisted living facility with Memory Care as well. I'm in the Atlanta area and our staff is fabulous. I had no idea regarding these issues. All information is helpful 😊
My wife with dementia came up with this one! She suggested I wake her up at night when I come to bed (I'm a night owl) and get her to go to the bathroom. This usually prevents getting the bed pad wet and her pajamas (but not always). This is basically Dr. Natali's scheduling suggestion but done at night.
A suggestion for bedding..a proective cover and sheet twice so in the middle of the night you can just remove the wet layer and you have dry underneath..
This is just beginning with my Husband,uncanny,my Husband has just spent a penny in the sitting room,last few mornings I have been washing the bathroom floor at 4.30 in the morning as the floor is being used instead of the lavatory,also,lavatory paper is being pushed down the plughole in the hand basin.I am on my own,no support and am finding life very difficult.zThank you for the explanation.
Thank you! I find your videos very helpful and somehow comforting. I am caring for my husband who has LBD. He started to experience bladder control problems before he was even diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment. His biggest problem now has to do with his visual spatial issues. We put yellow footprints on the floor in front of the toilet to show him where his feet should be when he uses the toilet and green tape on the grab bar where his hands should go when he is lowering or raising himself from the toilet. These clues have stopped working. Sometimes he wants to try to urinate every 15 minutes. .
Wow, amazing advice. you are wonderful!! I will add something to the toilet disabling that you mentioned. When turning off the the valve to disable the water flow make sure you flush the toilet after the valve is turned off to drain the water in the tank. If the tank fills up you can still flush the toilet once so if you exhaust this once yourself it will be disabled after that when the valve is off.
I’ve been searching for helpful tool for my friend who is dealing with taking care of his girlfriend, and he’s a little bit in denial, so this video and comments are very helpful, thank you so very much!
There are many situations we have to Face as caregivers, my Wife of 25 years cannot Remember me, hard to Help when unfamiliar , Also I am second husband, get confusing At times. More problems Arise as dementia stage change.
Finding this information has been a blessing. Thank you for sharing these tips and information as it is a difficult journey and can use all the help we can get. Thank you.
Whenever i hear the slightest mention of bathroom, I am up and leading my sweetheart to the toilet. A lot of the verbal cues from our past need to be discarded. Alexa and I are partner toilet monitors. Alexa gives us a "reminder" at a few pre-programmed times per day. My partner has forgotten where the bath rooms are. She removes (clears out and hides) all wiping materials when I'm not watching. Several areas where wiping stuff gets cached. We are sitting in my living room right now with 3 packets of baby wipes in her arms. She never uses the bathroom without me having to search the house for wiping stuff...Of course no amount of admonishment or begging makes a difference. I find my self like a drill sergeant asking about, wiping, flushing, cleaning, etc. Alexa also reminds us to brush our teeth. My wife seems to respond well to Alexa's voice... I don't think she knows Alexa is a robot.
Thank you for all the key points of toileting greatly needed and yes your voice level and way of speaking so calmly helps reassure us that we can do the job thank you for your most gracious blessed videos I had been wanting to look for something to help me out with a toilety and my husband
I just subscribed after watching 3 videos. YOU are WONDERFUL. Thanks for what you are doing for us - the care blazers. Regarding the bathroom issue, I do a few things. I bought a diaper genie which my Mom does use. I also got a tower stand on amazon. It holds multiple rolls of toliet paper. I put cleaning wipes and gloves on the stand for her to use. It helps most of the time. I also put a trash can with liner right next to the toilet. Hope these ideas help.
I care for my mom. One day while cleaning her bathroom I discovered she had taken off her depend and tried to flush it. It completely soaked up all the liquid in the toilet. Thank God she didn't try to forcefully get it down.
My moms depends immediately goes outside in a separate trash can and if there’s feces on her pants. They are thrown out Blessings to all who have to go through this. I’ve been doing through covid. And I’m at the end. this is my moms last night with me. I can think negative or positive and learn to give myself some grace
Hi, I'm not a care giver, but my great grandmother really struggled with this issue. She died when I was 16, but it helps to have lots of baby wipes on hand as they are easier for some people to use than toilet paper. You could also try positive reinforcement such as an enjoyable activity r healthy treat when they use the toilet. Some people do respond to rewards if they can remember what the reward is for. Some people don't like using rewards for older people because it's childish, but it does work for some people.
I find if I give my husband an apple when I get him out of bed. it keep his mind and hands occupied . I remove diaper with blunt scissors then wash his bum with wipes or warm water and cloth. Then sit him on the john. While he is still busy eating the apple I wash the rest of his body, shave him ,dress him and even cut his hair. All this while on the john. After his apple is eaten I brush his teeth. This routine has greatly simplified our life. He no longer fights me like he used to .the apple in my case was the magic. I also shut water off in the johns when he was toileting himself. Worked very well. They do go thru definite stages.
Very helpful. I had such a fiasco with my Alzheimer's client at the park last week. What a nightmare. And she refused to let me help her when we got back home which made the mess even worse. Thank you for your time and advise
Could you please do a session on grief of losing spouse as she moves in server Alzheimer’s . Spouse of 50 years has Alzheimer’s and it is just killing me. I feel lost and so hurt that she is in this condition. It is hard for me to see her as her physical appearance has change so much
Geoffrey Campbell, Hi. My heart goes out to you. It can be painful. I’ll add your recommendation to future list of video topics. In the meantime, this video link may be helpful to you. th-cam.com/video/KazwiRLGshY/w-d-xo.html
Sometimes finding peer support, or the support of a local Alzheimer’s society, can be especially helpful. Some cities and towns have Alzheimer’s volunteers or helpful staff.
I am my mother's 24/7 caretaker and the biggest stresser for me is, at least once or twice a day she refuses to put her briefs (diapers) on. She is incontinent and is aware of this, but hates wearing any undergarments. She says what does it matter I am just sitting in my chair. I have explained there have been times she has soiled herself while sitting in her chair without knowing it or when she gets up to go to the restroom she doesn't always make it, which she responds with “When, I have never done that”. I have done many things to try and get her to co-operate (i.e. forced her to put them on, not let her have her coffee in the am until she does, not taking her someplace…etc.) I make her clean up because she is capable, but I still have to clean up after her. I know you say not to argue, but it is so hard not to when it is a situation that is not sanitary and quite frankly disgusting. She is in beginning stage teetering moderate, so I believe it is about denial and plain stubbornness, because mom has never liked wearing any clothing that was tight or confining. I am tired of my living room and hallway being her toilet? Any other suggestions?
Hi Emerald. I am also a 24/7 careblazer for my mother. This toileting problem is extremely frustrating. I have one of those portable toilets in her room. It fits perfectly into her closet. Lately, she is not using it much. She just goes in her depend brief. But if I don't catch her she'll take the brief off and make a huge mess for me to clean up. I am going to try the toileting schedule to make this easier for me. I have Wyze cameras in her room and I can watch what she is doing. Every day I have to lift her up off of the floor. I do not know why she gets down on the floor but she does it consistently each day throughout the day. She wanders also so I have to keep her door locked because she will go to the kitchen or try to walk out of the front door. Oh, and her sleep schedule is flipped. She sleeps erratically during the day and at night, while we are sleeping, she is up. A live wire. Disconnecting the cable box from the tv and pulling the heating vent cover apart. When I watch these videos and read the comments, I feel so much better and relieved that I am not alone. I commend your efforts to help your mother. Many people do not possess the empathy and compassion needed to help a loved one through this type of illness. I pray for your strength and for your mom.
One thing that can be helpful if they do make it to the toilet or commode, is something called a Pericare Bottle. It’s basically a squirt bottle that can help pourwater over their lap/crotch/butt area for a rinse, which then drains into the toilet bowl. I find a small handle jug/bucket was also helpful for pouring a rinse of water, while sitting on the toilet seat, helps too.
@@kristinemargaritis7995 Omg yes. My mother in law will urinate on the floor, step in it then walk on her rug. Its so hard to get her in the middle of the night. We dont always hear the motion sensor on the camera we have.
I had all carpet and rugs removed. Replaced with sheet linoleum. Much easier to clean up and sanitize. Also use croc shoes - easier to clean and much slip resistant. God bless and good luck to all.
There is No putting my mother on a toileting schedule! She is obsessed about drinking water continuously so you "doesn't get a UTI" and she is demanding more and more water. She is up using the bathroom every 20-30 minutes all night. She is refusing to take medications; wanting to pick and choose which medicines she wants to take. She is combative and demanding; there is no reasoning with her; she only listens to male drs./authorities. My 2 siblings will not share any responsibility for her. She has our household in continual chaos; she lives with us, but we are seriously thinking of putting her in a nursing facility.
I'm so sorry 😭😭😭 mine is too, try getting a Bach flower blend, I used Holly and it helps calm the anger. Mine also spits out the medication, we crush it and mix it in with yoghurt at dinner time.
One very important thing to remember is they continually go thru stages. So the issue you have now won't continue. My husband is now in late stage. If I had known more about the stages it would have been helpful. Hhe is much easier now. At one point we put a lock on the refrigerator, lock on laundry room and pantry. Stored anything he might put in his mouth in those places. So helpful! He would get up at nite , pee inside kitchen drawers, wipe poop all over himself and everything else. He would eat it. When you tried to clean him up he would fight you violently. Diapers didn't work as he would pull them down to pee walking thru the house. These kept evolving and actually getting easier as he became less mobil. So sad to say . Quess what I am trying to say is don't lose heart. This to will pass. I also blocked off large portions of my house so he could only go into a few rooms. Much! Easier. Praying for all you beautiful people who love enough to help...lovingly... those who can't help themseves. No one would want to trade places with them. Please be encouraged. it will pass. You will get your life back.
We have installed a security cam in the toilet. This lets us keep track of what is going on. Without having to hover Also, we prefer to change moms pad or pants as she finishes. If we change too soon, mom sometimes discards her fresh pad. The cam helps us get timing right.
My loved one has been getting up every night around 3:00 or 4:00 to go to the bathroom. I almost always hear him and wake up also. He has started having trouble finding the bathroom, even though I have several motion detector lights that show the way. A few nights ago, I did not wake up and discovered the next morning a mess all the way down the hall. I have since made sure he goes right before he goes to sleep even through he insists he doesn’t have to. We have gone three nights now of sleeping through the night and no messes. The extra sleep has also benefited me!!
I strongly suggest you check their diet to see if something is contributing to the Problem. In my case it was caffeine. She drank so much soda, and I started buying the cheep stuff - off brand. Mountain Dew, Pepsi & Coke seem to be the problem. Root beer, strawberry, & lemon lime, have almost cured the problem of diarrhea, in public places! I have never heard of caffeine causing diarrhea, but I swear this has greatly worked for us!
Good stuff. My question is how to help when the loved one will not let you help. We are dealing with serious anger issues and I am the target. She will not allow me to change her or help with undergarments. Her parttime caregiver can get her bathed but still working on toileting. The caregiver is here 4 hours a day but the rest falls on me. Been cleaning accidents daily. She then will not change her clothes and I am worried about health
Dr Natali, could you do a video on senile dementia peeps who have other psych issues? Like narcissists? ADHD? Or just a person who has the mentality of a child? Other than nursing home! Thanks for all your advice and vids.😊😀🙂
I just wanted to say. that i have seen many of your videos and you have always been super helpful in the past. So thank you for producing this content. It is fabulous and you as too for helping so many families. I also wanted to ask about your opinion of Namenda. Is it worth the side effects? is it useful?
Thank you for your ideas. We just had an incident over the Christmas holidays where my mom’s toilet stopped up and ran over. What a mess! As luck has it, my sister in law is a plumber and came over to help. Turns out my mom flushed her remote control somehow and that’s what stopped it up. So thank you for the advice on disconnecting the chain!
Definitely introduce a routine. I take my mum to the loo every hour and stay with her as she needs to be told exactly what to do and when. If I hear her get up at night I get out of bed and go in to the bathroom with her as I do during the day. She will put her hands in her faeces given the chance as she no longer understands what is happening and she doesn't like the feeing. Fortunately, I've cared for people with dementia and individuals with multiple and complex needs for a long time, so nothing mum does throws me. That doesn't make it easy though ......
What to do with someone who is basically non compliant with bathing and cleaning up after themselves. this is for the home care giver who may be there a few hours.
Great video--thank you! I'm 24/7 caregiver to my 89 yr old mom and she has started making a stand against showers, help with hygiene, etc. She's already had two bladder infections and sepsis from a UTI that almost took her life. She tries to wear her depends panties/pads much longer and is not truthful when she says she changed to a clean one. I have adult moist wipes to help keep her clean between showers and I purchased a wash basin that fits in the toilet so she doesn't have to shower as often, but now insists not to use it and continues to do things he way. She gets quite agitated when I offer to help. I just don't want her to keep getting infections. Any suggestions? Her medical doctor is aware of this.
Caregiver for my wife of 54 years. Two common issues can lead to UTI’s: Dehydration and not fully emptying the bladder. Making sure your person takes in an adequate amount of fluid, mainly water, is important but you will find that leads to more frequent need for urination. Emptying bladder hard to discern, but spending more tone in the toilet and encouragement may be helpful. Might add that making sure the genital area is kept clean with swipes, etc.
My mother used to get these so I just started her on a regular preventative therapy using a supplement called AZO about once a week until they cleared up then maybe once every few months. Hydration is the key here. 🙏🏻
@@Justifier16 Thank you for your input. Yes, I am keeping her fluids going, actually monitoring that she drinks at least 1.5-2 quarts per day. It's the issue with having her clean and the fact that she doesn't like bathing or showering. It's a daily issue, hopefully we can work through it. Thank you again.
@@randygreen007 Thank you so much. I haven't heard of AZO so I'll google it. Hydration is good, just keeping her in a bathing schedule is my challenge.
It's all a mind game you have to convince them that it's what THEY want to do NOT what YOU want them to do stay persistent and patient and make sure they know that you are trying to help them and you can't help them if they dont do what you ask typically it's stages at least with my grandpa it was well over a month that he was refusing to change his underwear even tho they where covered in poo but we finally where able to get him to do it and now he does it by himself good luck to you I know what you are going through
The friend that lives with us does not want a potty schedule. he wears pullups and continuously says, "I'm "leaking off". I show him that the pullups are completely full because he won't go to the bathroom. Physical therapists and nurses say, he's physically capable of going on his own.
No 2 LO's are alike, but I have only minor problems with Nana's bodily functions because I proactively set my phone alarms to remind me every 2 hours to escort her to the bathroom and, as she no longer does any of the process on her own, I take charge of coaching her through every step or do it myself when she can't/won't. Matter of fact, no drama, no frustration, no feelings, just love's job.
I found a squeezy travel "bidet" bottle to remove #2 enough to finish up with wipes. Sometimes a careful haircut is necessary too. I am very frank with Nana that the incontinence is not her fault, but making it clear to her that it's all good and natural--a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do--so she won't be ashamed. Or I apologize for not getting her to the bathroom in time so the onus is on me not her.
I have to assist my mother in law in the bathroom, I have to supervise her with pulling down her depends and wiping when she has a BM because she gets it every where.. It helps a lot. I’m going to incorporate putting her on a bathroom schedule. That’s a great idea.
Good information 👍 ur tips will work only in the early stages but when person comes to diaper stage We may have plan in different methods like solid foods and fluids by making perfect schedule will benefit for toiletng and this my experience with my elder brother in law who sufferd from Alzimer and he passed away in the year 2019 and noticed in the year 2013 after coming back from Newzealand. The last option is medication with proper knowledge mean to say quantity will play a bigger game Madam thanks for sharing ur knowledge and God bless you 🙏
Thank you. This has increased with my LO he has incontinence regularly. I've bought various types of depends etc. But nothing helps him. He doesn't remember when he has to urinate. He had a stroke a month or so ago and I believe it's caused more instability. He very depressed on many meds to avoid violent manic episodes. Thanks i'll try the schedule.
We often have toilet issues, whether constipation/blockage or uncontrollable diarrhea. We also often deal with clogs in the toilet due to her using too much paper.
Hallo and thank you.. Do you have suggestions on what to do when the caregiver feels that she cannot go on like this anymore. What is the move to do then?
My mom is scared of pooping and won’t even push without crying her gets out even if her poop is soft. I’m so stressed over this. She has no issue controlling her bladder, but this fear of pooping have been so difficult for me
Hey can you put a video up about vascular dementia please my gran has it the now and because she's not safe at home she's to go into a care home and I was wondering if there's any advice you can give me thanks ❤️
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I don't know if someone else made this suggestion since I am new to viewing these wonderful videos. I take care of my mom who just turned 99 and has some dementia. A few months ago she fell and broke her ankle using the bathroom. As I had in the past after different surgeries, I put a portable commode right next to her bed. I first put one of those office-type plastic carpet protectors underneath. A tall trash container next to it is where all paper products go. I used zip ties to fasten a pump bottle of hand sanitizer right to the leg of the commode within easy reach. My mom has recovered from the broken ankle and is again using her walker instead of me transporting her in a wheelchair. However, I have left the bedside commode in place. I empty it into the toilet myself and have a spray bottle of sanitizer I use to clean the bucket of the commode. This way I monitor what goes into the toilet. We had had several sewer blockages in the past. My mom uses an incredible amount of toilet paper! Also, I didn't want any type of wipe or facial tissue or paper towel, etc., put into the plumbing of our old house. Also, practically every time my mom has fallen it has been related to the bathroom. My mom seems content to use the commode and can use it most of the time by herself. When I help her get ready for bed I help make sure she's completely clean and ready for bed. I also help her brush her teeth, which she still has at 99. I feel a real relief that I don't have to worry about plumbing back-ups anymore. That was a real nightmare! I like the suggestion of disabling the flush mechanism. But this way I don't have to fish things out of the toilet, except occasionally I don't have to remove unsuitable things from the commode bucket before flushing its contents. Sorry this is so long-winded. But dealing with the toileting has been a major challenge.
Was there anyway you were able to limit the amount of toilet paper your mom used? My mom sometimes uses alot!
@@milahall4265 No. She would use a large roll every day. Sadly, it took her needing complete assistance before things let up a bit. It's very interesting that so many caregivers face this difficulty. I think it's related to compulsive behaviors that develop at certain stages of dementia.
I have a container of baby wipes for my mom to use which helps.
My wide has LBD and the physical move from bed to comode is very difficult and worse getting up and back into bed.
99? God I’d rather die first. I cannot do this for another 10 years. God bless you. That’s what people always say to me. But god isn’t helping me. I don’t care if I become a saint. All I want is some sort of life in this one.
Praying for all the caregivers. This is so hard and getting harder. I have developed anxiety and taking meds for myself. Whew. Lord, hear our prayers.
It sure is. I make daily prayers that I die without being a burden on my kids.
I hope you're doing ok
We need help and shouldn't be expected for this. It's quality of life - theirs and ours. This is the deal breaker.
This is very helpful. My sister often places her soiled Depends in the wastebasket and whenever she attempts to use the bathroom she never turns on the exhaust. Needless to say, the entire household knows that she's going to that bathroom upstairs. To combat this, I place a motion sensor on the bathroom fan and set the timer on it to run an additional 15 minutes after she vacates the bathroom. Also, to keep down the smell of her depends, I purchased a baby diaper pail, which helps keep unwanted scents locked in a deodorized bag. I hope this helps someone and thank you again for the tips.
Thank you. You can fumigate with incense after sanatizing.
At least she's willing to wear a diaper 🤪🤪🤪🤪
I'm experiencing this with my 94-year-old grandfather. He used to put his soiled Depends in the hamper and rolled inside his pants. Needless to say, I ended up washing one with his laundry. The stench! I addressed it, and since then, he's been hiding the spoiled depends around the bathroom. My sense of smell is good so finding them isn't an issue. The concerns are the smell. Anyway... God bless us all
I’m a preschool teacher & I try to remember that this saying works for both my husband & the kids…”IF THEY COULD THEY WOULD!!!!”🙏🏻💙
@@solidrock7998 I wonder if it would help if you were to label the diapers with numbers when you bring them home from the store (1/24, 2/24, etc.)? I remember doing the same kind of thing when I was a toddler--circle of life...
No it doesn’t just “ feel” like a lot of time spent cleaning the messes up, It Is A Lot of Time!
It is exhausting, and frustrating. Even with the use of depends, and chux pads it doesn’t help that much. It is a huge amount of work especially if the family member doesn’t think they need to be changed or cleaned up. Despite doing all the help you can, it’s still a huge amount of work for the caretaker.
It is hard and expensive with daipers.
And this is probably why it's one of the biggest reasons for making a long term care decision. My mother has Crohn's disease too so every BM is diarrhea. What you described mirrors a lot of my own experiences. I was hoping to get more out of this video than I did.
@@Shiskabobber1 Crohn's disease can be hereditary...
My mom is embarrassed by having to wear disposable undies and has started hiding the soiled ones all over the house. I always know from the smell when I enter a room that she has soiled one, so I have to hunt. She doesn’t remember doing it, nor where she hid it.
@@Shiskabobber1
Sorry to respond so late, I hope you are managing ok. Yes I think this video only addresses those with mild toileting issues. Yes it is hard to have a routine with someone with dementia and if they have no control of their bowel or urination.
Her tips were not that helpful, I have provide a basket on the sink counter with depends, wipes next to the toilet, but my LO just ignores them. He often causes the toilet to over flow.
It’s very frustrating. Hang in there.
Turning off the toilet water supply is just genius, Dr. Natali. 👍
I work in a care facility,
We remove the waste basket liner after every toileting session (because of briefs and wipes used and discarded) we change the pads on the bed to fresh pads and sheets (if necessary) to keep the smell out of their room.
It’s good practice to do at home as well.
Thank you for sharing!
Investing in a bidet (with remote control) has been a game changer for us. I highly recommend this to anyone caring for a person with dementia.
I have one. Used it today on mom. Youre right. Lifesaver!
Leaving a clean brief on the edge of the tub is so helpful although after working for a year we are getting to the point of not always remembering to put a new one on. Lots of lysol wipes. Plastic cover for mattress and washable bed pads are helping for now.
I deeply appreciate the level of sensitivity you have shown with approaching this topic. We are entering into a very troubling area of care for our family member. Its both heartbreaking and scary so this is very helpful. Thank you.
I have found my husband with dementia really appreciates me going with him to the toilet and i sit on a stool and keep him “company”. That way i’m there if he needs help with anything.
THANK YOU SO MUCH. YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD. I'M GOING THROUGH THIS WITH MY WIFE OF 57 YEARS. I GO WITH HER TO THE REST ROOM & HELP HER WHICH HELPS A LOT FOR BOTH OF US.
OW! My ears!!!!
The timing suggestion is VERY helpful, as my DH doesn't seem to have ANY clue whatsoever that he has to go until he HAS to go. Thank you, Doctor!!!
This is a great set of suggestions. I wish I had seen this earlier. I have also left a lighted path to the bathroom, with doors open, lights, on and the toilet lid up...like a runway. The scheduling trips has helped me too. My husband is still resistant to having help, but I ask him to do this for me, because it makes life much easier for both of us.
I love your tone of voice, I am dealing with all you mentioned with my husband. Thank you.
My husband has vascular dementia and diabetes. Recently he urinated off and on for 3 hours, couch, den, kitchen. Wouldn’t put on Depends. He did not know he had to go and could not stop it. When sugar collection becomes to great in the kidneys this happens. It was my first experience with this. I got a potty chair for the den, additional depends ( he’ll wear them instead of a hospital visit) and I will get a diaper pail like a viewer suggested. The kitchen is our go to place if all else fails. It is the easiest place to clean. Love these videos.
So GRATEFUL I found you 🙏🙏🙏
Barbara this is amazing advice. My husband isn't there yet but I feel empowered being proactive. Thank you All!
When my loved one is upset because they need help - I say - lets do this together. Then I mention something I need help with. Could you help me wash the table? (Even if it’s clean) when people stop by my loved one tells them how much help I need and I get to brag about all they are doing. Then people offer me help. I try and keep a list of little things that can make life better. I have learned there are many generous people all around us that want to help if they know what to do.
I always used "care partnering" terms witb my dad.
When my 93 year old husband became upset that I have to do everything for him such as bathing, shaving, wiping, changing diapers etc. he was ashamed about it. I told him God put us together to take care of each other, he cared for me through 4 major orthopedic surgeries and two minor strokes and now its my turn to care for him. He seems to understand what we do is out of love.
Hello! Thank you so much for your very helpful videos! I love how thorough and thoughtful you are... it’s been so helpful. Our toilet issue with my father-in-law is a bit different... he does “go” in the toilet but isn’t wiping properly and we find “stuff” on the roll and even on towels from him not washing hands properly. We just got a bidet attachment for the toilet to help with cleanliness and to prevent the mess on his hands that gets on things, including under his fingernails. I’m hoping this is the solution to keep things clean. So grateful to have found you!
Did the bidet help? Is it easy to attach to the toilet?
I just found your channel and have subscribed. I'm the sole caregiver for my wife who is in the late stage of Huntington's disease and is losing mobility and has increasing dementia. Toileting and eating and drinking are becoming more serious concerns. I think your channel will be a great help.
Easy care trousers with Velcro, elastic or draw string closures can help. Zippers and buttons can create frustration.
Such great information. My mom passed away 😢. It's so difficult caring for a loved one. I learned so much. No matter how often we cleaned and shampooed the smell would linger.
Thank you for mentioning this sensitive topic. I feel better for knowing we are not alone with this problem. I care for my 88-year old husband and shower and wash him and clean all his bedding everyday but sometimes I feel defeated by it all. It’s hard work and time consuming but so necessary. I open windows and use air fresheners but am still conscious that things are not as they used to be and for our own sense of self-respect, don’t really want people to know how much struggle goes into keeping things nice.
@@allykatharvey Research chlorophyll - it can really reduce odors. - ***start with low doses to watch for side effects. I get the Dr. Souza's liquid - transfer it out of its bottle or pour over the sink - the bottle just doesn't pour the chlorophyll without dripping all over and it can stain. You can try capsules from the same company. I like this brand because its taste is mild and no mint added which I don't like.
@allykatharvey I kno this. Self comfort and care is the answer ✨️ we're doing our bestest so we've accomplished our mission >>our best.🙌🏽
The scheduling is a good strategy. It is a tiring and sometimes frustrating duty to deal with incontinence.
Thanks for all your tips!!👌
Thank you, Natalie! Your caring delivery of information is so refreshing and helps me get the language to use that will not trigger resentment. "Let's go take care of business.".
My Mom, with mid-stage Vascular Dementia, has recently had bad blood glucose episodes (in the 300's after just being pre-diabetic). She was independent in her morning routine for breakfast but now we are trying to change the choices and even with a list it is a little confusing.
But she understands that if we get a handle on her diet and exercise now that maybe soon she will be able to have a little bit of her usual treats like a small Pepsi a day or ice cream after supper. She thought using maple syrup on waffles was ok because pure Maple syrup is natural.
She accepts that her food choices before got her here but she still struggles to understand what are good choices. Baby steps.
A caregiver in a dementia facility told me that they don't let residents have any creamed soups as it give them diarrhea.
I've heard that having photos or drawings of meal options helps and gives them a sense of control.
Thank you for the information. I am a Concierge at an assisted living facility with Memory Care as well. I'm in the Atlanta area and our staff is fabulous. I had no idea regarding these issues. All information is helpful 😊
My wife with dementia came up with this one! She suggested I wake her up at night when I come to bed (I'm a night owl) and get her to go to the bathroom. This usually prevents getting the bed pad wet and her pajamas (but not always). This is basically Dr. Natali's scheduling suggestion but done at night.
A suggestion for bedding..a proective cover and sheet twice so in the middle of the night you can just remove the wet layer and you have dry underneath..
This is just beginning with my Husband,uncanny,my Husband has just spent a penny in the sitting room,last few mornings I have been washing the bathroom floor at 4.30 in the morning as the floor is being used instead of the lavatory,also,lavatory paper is being pushed down the plughole in the hand basin.I am on my own,no support and am finding life very difficult.zThank you for the explanation.
Beautiful teaching & easy to learn!!!
Thank you! I find your videos very helpful and somehow comforting.
I am caring for my husband who has LBD. He started to experience bladder control problems before he was even diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment. His biggest problem now has to do with his visual spatial issues. We put yellow footprints on the floor in front of the toilet to show him where his feet should be when he uses the toilet and green tape on the grab bar where his hands should go when he is lowering or raising himself from the toilet. These clues have stopped working. Sometimes he wants to try to urinate every 15 minutes. .
Thank you for inspiring and preparing us to care for our parents better!
You are so intelligent in this tender subject.God help and bless you.
Wow, amazing advice. you are wonderful!! I will add something to the toilet disabling that you mentioned. When turning off the the valve to disable the water flow make sure you flush the toilet after the valve is turned off to drain the water in the tank. If the tank fills up you can still flush the toilet once so if you exhaust this once yourself it will be disabled after that when the valve is off.
These are all awesome tips, Natali! Thank you :)
I’ve been searching for helpful tool for my friend who is dealing with taking care of his girlfriend, and he’s a little bit in denial, so this video and comments are very helpful, thank you so very much!
Your gentle voice helps a lot.
You really discuss the issues of concern to us.
There are many situations we have to
Face as caregivers, my
Wife of 25 years cannot
Remember me, hard to
Help when unfamiliar ,
Also I am second husband, get confusing
At times. More problems
Arise as dementia stage change.
Finding this information has been a blessing. Thank you for sharing these tips and information as it is a difficult journey and can use all the help we can get. Thank you.
Whenever i hear the slightest mention of bathroom, I am up and leading my sweetheart to the toilet.
A lot of the verbal cues from our past need to be discarded. Alexa and I are partner toilet monitors. Alexa gives us a "reminder" at a few pre-programmed times per day. My partner has forgotten where the bath rooms are. She removes (clears out and hides) all wiping materials when I'm not watching. Several areas where wiping stuff gets cached. We are sitting in my living room right now with 3 packets of baby wipes in her arms. She never uses the bathroom without me having to search the house for wiping stuff...Of course no amount of admonishment or begging makes a difference. I find my self like a drill sergeant asking about, wiping, flushing, cleaning, etc. Alexa also reminds us to brush our teeth. My wife seems to respond well to Alexa's voice... I don't think she knows Alexa is a robot.
P
❤
Could YOU hide the wipes in a handy place for you to whip out and hand her when it's needed?
😂 ...that's funny (blame it on Alexa) my mom 'stuffs' as well.
Thank you for these videos. Your kindly approach and delicate way of expressing such difficult things is very reassuring and helpful.
You are so welcome!
Thank you for all the key points of toileting greatly needed and yes your voice level and way of speaking so calmly helps reassure us that we can do the job thank you for your most gracious blessed videos I had been wanting to look for something to help me out with a toilety and my husband
I just subscribed after watching 3 videos. YOU are WONDERFUL. Thanks for what you are doing for us - the care blazers. Regarding the bathroom issue, I do a few things. I bought a diaper genie which my Mom does use. I also got a tower stand on amazon. It holds multiple rolls of toliet paper. I put cleaning wipes and gloves on the stand for her to use. It helps most of the time. I also put a trash can with liner right next to the toilet. Hope these ideas help.
Re: toilet schedule. Setting cell phone alarms is helpful.
I care for my mom. One day while cleaning her bathroom I discovered she had taken off her depend and tried to flush it. It completely soaked up all the liquid in the toilet. Thank God she didn't try to forcefully get it down.
My moms depends immediately goes outside in a separate trash can and if there’s feces on her pants. They are thrown out Blessings to all who have to go through this. I’ve been doing through covid. And I’m at the end. this is my moms last night with me. I can think negative or positive and learn to give myself some grace
Thank you ma’am for sharing it’s a big help for us🥰God bless you🙏💕
Hi, I'm not a care giver, but my great grandmother really struggled with this issue. She died when I was 16, but it helps to have lots of baby wipes on hand as they are easier for some people to use than toilet paper. You could also try positive reinforcement such as an enjoyable activity r healthy treat when they use the toilet. Some people do respond to rewards if they can remember what the reward is for. Some people don't like using rewards for older people because it's childish, but it does work for some people.
I find if I give my husband an apple when I get him out of bed. it keep his mind and hands occupied . I remove diaper with blunt scissors then wash his bum with wipes or warm water and cloth. Then sit him on the john. While he is still busy eating the apple I wash the rest of his body, shave him ,dress him and even cut his hair. All this while on the john. After his apple is eaten I brush his teeth. This routine has greatly simplified our life. He no longer fights me like he used to .the apple in my case was the magic. I also shut water off in the johns when he was toileting himself. Worked very well. They do go thru definite stages.
This has been hugely helpful. Thank you so much ❤
Thank you, praying for you sister
Thanks for candid guidance
Having a temporary toilet chair next to the bed all time is helpful also . Appreciate the video.
I have 2 one by the bed and one in the den.
@@marybrand8269 it gets worse
Just be prepared
Final solution is a kids swimming pool!
you are so amazing. thank you for posting these videos.
You are awesome. thank you so much for your wise counsel..You have helped me so much.
Very helpful. I had such a fiasco with my Alzheimer's client at the park last week. What a nightmare. And she refused to let me help her when we got back home which made the mess even worse. Thank you for your time and advise
Appreciate your knowledge! Thanks for sharing.
Could you please do a session on grief of losing spouse as she moves in server Alzheimer’s . Spouse of 50 years has Alzheimer’s and it is just killing me. I feel lost and so hurt that she is in this condition. It is hard for me to see her as her physical appearance has change so much
Geoffrey Campbell, Hi. My heart goes out to you. It can be painful. I’ll add your recommendation to future list of video topics. In the meantime, this video link may be helpful to you. th-cam.com/video/KazwiRLGshY/w-d-xo.html
Sometimes finding peer support, or the support of a local Alzheimer’s society, can be especially helpful. Some cities and towns have Alzheimer’s volunteers or helpful staff.
Thank you, you have helped me and my father so much!
I am my mother's 24/7 caretaker and the biggest stresser for me is, at least once or twice a day she refuses to put her briefs (diapers) on. She is incontinent and is aware of this, but hates wearing any undergarments. She says what does it matter I am just sitting in my chair. I have explained there have been times she has soiled herself while sitting in her chair without knowing it or when she gets up to go to the restroom she doesn't always make it, which she responds with “When, I have never done that”. I have done many things to try and get her to co-operate (i.e. forced her to put them on, not let her have her coffee in the am until she does, not taking her someplace…etc.) I make her clean up because she is capable, but I still have to clean up after her. I know you say not to argue, but it is so hard not to when it is a situation that is not sanitary and quite frankly disgusting. She is in beginning stage teetering moderate, so I believe it is about denial and plain stubbornness, because mom has never liked wearing any clothing that was tight or confining. I am tired of my living room and hallway being her toilet? Any other suggestions?
tell her doc.
Hi Emerald. I am also a 24/7 careblazer for my mother. This toileting problem is extremely frustrating. I have one of those portable toilets in her room. It fits perfectly into her closet. Lately, she is not using it much. She just goes in her depend brief. But if I don't catch her she'll take the brief off and make a huge mess for me to clean up. I am going to try the toileting schedule to make this easier for me. I have Wyze cameras in her room and I can watch what she is doing. Every day I have to lift her up off of the floor. I do not know why she gets down on the floor but she does it consistently each day throughout the day. She wanders also so I have to keep her door locked because she will go to the kitchen or try to walk out of the front door. Oh, and her sleep schedule is flipped. She sleeps erratically during the day and at night, while we are sleeping, she is up. A live wire. Disconnecting the cable box from the tv and pulling the heating vent cover apart. When I watch these videos and read the comments, I feel so much better and relieved that I am not alone. I commend your efforts to help your mother. Many people do not possess the empathy and compassion needed to help a loved one through this type of illness. I pray for your strength and for your mom.
Have you tried period panties? They look like normal panties but catch the moisture.
Thanks for this great video! :)
One thing that can be helpful if they do make it to the toilet or commode, is something called a Pericare Bottle. It’s basically a squirt bottle that can help pourwater over their lap/crotch/butt area for a rinse, which then drains into the toilet bowl. I find a small handle jug/bucket was also helpful for pouring a rinse of water, while sitting on the toilet seat, helps too.
A handheld bidet is great too
Dr Natalie you look fabulous ! Wow ! A great look and very helpful videos ! Thank you .
Yes this part has been really hard caring for my mom. The smell gets to me. I am shampooing carpet constantly.
I’m having the same problem. Her shoes are even soiled and she doesn’t care
@@kristinemargaritis7995 Omg yes. My mother in law will urinate on the floor, step in it then walk on her rug. Its so hard to get her in the middle of the night. We dont always hear the motion sensor on the camera we have.
I had all carpet and rugs removed. Replaced with sheet linoleum. Much easier to clean up and sanitize. Also use croc shoes - easier to clean and much slip resistant. God bless and good luck to all.
There is No putting my mother on a toileting schedule! She is obsessed about drinking water continuously so you "doesn't get a UTI" and she is demanding more and more water. She is up using the bathroom every 20-30 minutes all night. She is refusing to take medications; wanting to pick and choose which medicines she wants to take. She is combative and demanding; there is no reasoning with her; she only listens to male drs./authorities. My 2 siblings will not share any responsibility for her. She has our household in continual chaos; she lives with us, but we are seriously thinking of putting her in a nursing facility.
I'm so sorry 😭😭😭 mine is too, try getting a Bach flower blend, I used Holly and it helps calm the anger. Mine also spits out the medication, we crush it and mix it in with yoghurt at dinner time.
One very important thing to remember is they continually go thru stages. So the issue you have now won't continue. My husband is now in late stage. If I had known more about the stages it would have been helpful. Hhe is much easier now. At one point we put a lock on the refrigerator, lock on laundry room and pantry. Stored anything he might put in his mouth in those places. So helpful! He would get up at nite , pee inside kitchen drawers, wipe poop all over himself and everything else. He would eat it. When you tried to clean him up he would fight you violently. Diapers didn't work as he would pull them down to pee walking thru the house. These kept evolving and actually getting easier as he became less mobil. So sad to say . Quess what I am trying to say is don't lose heart. This to will pass. I also blocked off large portions of my house so he could only go into a few rooms. Much! Easier. Praying for all you beautiful people who love enough to help...lovingly... those who can't help themseves. No one would want to trade places with them. Please be encouraged. it will pass. You will get your life back.
@@roseavery9446Wow!! ....2yrs later and this is STILL the best comment on this video. Thx
We have installed a security cam in the toilet. This lets us keep track of what is going on. Without having to hover
Also, we prefer to change moms pad or pants as she finishes. If we change too soon, mom sometimes discards her fresh pad. The cam helps us get timing right.
My loved one has been getting up every night around 3:00 or 4:00 to go to the bathroom. I almost always hear him and wake up also. He has started having trouble finding the bathroom, even though I have several motion detector lights that show the way. A few nights ago, I did not wake up and discovered the next morning a mess all the way down the hall. I have since made sure he goes right before he goes to sleep even through he insists he doesn’t have to. We have gone three nights now of sleeping through the night and no messes. The extra sleep has also benefited me!!
Using a baby monitor can help too.
There’s also something to called about alarm. It sounds as when the person has gotten up and out of the bed.
Emma Chase ... the baby monitor is best thing, it helps a lot!
Very informative and useful
I strongly suggest you check their diet to see if something is contributing to the Problem. In my case it was caffeine. She drank so much soda, and I started buying the cheep stuff - off brand.
Mountain Dew, Pepsi & Coke seem to be the problem. Root beer, strawberry, & lemon lime, have almost cured the problem of diarrhea, in public places! I have never heard of caffeine causing diarrhea, but I swear this has greatly worked for us!
Thank you for all you do on these You tubes
Good stuff. My question is how to help when the loved one will not let you help. We are dealing with serious anger issues and I am the target. She will not allow me to change her or help with undergarments. Her parttime caregiver can get her bathed but still working on toileting. The caregiver is here 4 hours a day but the rest falls on me. Been cleaning accidents daily. She then will not change her clothes and I am worried about health
Us too 😭😭😭
Thank you I love it Alexa will be my mentor helper and assistant
Dr Natali, could you do a video on senile dementia peeps who have other psych issues? Like narcissists? ADHD? Or just a person who has the mentality of a child? Other than nursing home! Thanks for all your advice and vids.😊😀🙂
You must have made this video for me!! xx
If your love one has been independent in using the restroom, how do you offer them help without getting them upset?
I just wanted to say. that i have seen many of your videos and you have always been super helpful in the past. So thank you for producing this content. It is fabulous and you as too for helping so many families. I also wanted to ask about your opinion of Namenda. Is it worth the side effects? is it useful?
Thank you for your ideas. We just had an incident over the Christmas holidays where my mom’s toilet stopped up and ran over. What a mess! As luck has it, my sister in law is a plumber and came over to help. Turns out my mom flushed her remote control somehow and that’s what stopped it up. So thank you for the advice on disconnecting the chain!
Oh my!!!!
Never thought of disabling the toilet that’s a great idea 💡
Definitely introduce a routine. I take my mum to the loo every hour and stay with her as she needs to be told exactly what to do and when. If I hear her get up at night I get out of bed and go in to the bathroom with her as I do during the day. She will put her hands in her faeces given the chance as she no longer understands what is happening and she doesn't like the feeing. Fortunately, I've cared for people with dementia and individuals with multiple and complex needs for a long time, so nothing mum does throws me. That doesn't make it easy though ......
What to do with someone who is basically non compliant with bathing and cleaning up after themselves.
this is for the home care giver who may be there a few hours.
Great video--thank you! I'm 24/7 caregiver to my 89 yr old mom and she has started making a stand against showers, help with hygiene, etc. She's already had two bladder infections and sepsis from a UTI that almost took her life. She tries to wear her depends panties/pads much longer and is not truthful when she says she changed to a clean one. I have adult moist wipes to help keep her clean between showers and I purchased a wash basin that fits in the toilet so she doesn't have to shower as often, but now insists not to use it and continues to do things he way. She gets quite agitated when I offer to help. I just don't want her to keep getting infections. Any suggestions? Her medical doctor is aware of this.
Caregiver for my wife of 54 years. Two common issues can lead to UTI’s: Dehydration and not fully emptying the bladder. Making sure your person takes in an adequate amount of fluid, mainly water, is important but you will find that leads to more frequent need for urination. Emptying bladder hard to discern, but spending more tone in the toilet and encouragement may be helpful. Might add that making sure the genital area is kept clean with swipes, etc.
My mother used to get these so I just started her on a regular preventative therapy using a supplement called AZO about once a week until they cleared up then maybe once every few months. Hydration is the key here. 🙏🏻
@@Justifier16 Thank you for your input. Yes, I am keeping her fluids going, actually monitoring that she drinks at least 1.5-2 quarts per day. It's the issue with having her clean and the fact that she doesn't like bathing or showering. It's a daily issue, hopefully we can work through it. Thank you again.
@@randygreen007 Thank you so much. I haven't heard of AZO so I'll google it. Hydration is good, just keeping her in a bathing schedule is my challenge.
It's all a mind game you have to convince them that it's what THEY want to do NOT what YOU want them to do stay persistent and patient and make sure they know that you are trying to help them and you can't help them if they dont do what you ask typically it's stages at least with my grandpa it was well over a month that he was refusing to change his underwear even tho they where covered in poo but we finally where able to get him to do it and now he does it by himself good luck to you I know what you are going through
Thank you so much!
You seem very sincere but I wish you could do some videos on just Lewy body dementia. I need help and I can't find much.
Thank you so much🙏🏻 God bless you
Great video ❤❤❤
Thank you for this presentation.
Awesome video 😍😍 Thank you
Thank you: you have been a great help
The friend that lives with us does not want a potty schedule. he wears pullups and continuously says, "I'm "leaking off". I show him that the pullups are completely full because he won't go to the bathroom. Physical therapists and nurses say, he's physically capable of going on his own.
No 2 LO's are alike, but I have only minor problems with Nana's bodily functions because I proactively set my phone alarms to remind me every 2 hours to escort her to the bathroom and, as she no longer does any of the process on her own, I take charge of coaching her through every step or do it myself when she can't/won't. Matter of fact, no drama, no frustration, no feelings, just love's job.
That's smart, as our physical awareness diminishes as we age and routine is comforting.
How did you get her to cooperate?
This was my dealbreaker and I'm still helping mom. We keep her in pull ups full time but it still sucks.
I found a squeezy travel "bidet" bottle to remove #2 enough to finish up with wipes. Sometimes a careful haircut is necessary too. I am very frank with Nana that the incontinence is not her fault, but making it clear to her that it's all good and natural--a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do--so she won't be ashamed. Or I apologize for not getting her to the bathroom in time so the onus is on me not her.
I have to assist my mother in law in the bathroom, I have to supervise her with pulling down her depends and wiping when she has a BM because she gets it every where.. It helps a lot. I’m going to incorporate putting her on a bathroom schedule. That’s a great idea.
A hand held bidet is a life saver
How do you wipe her? My mom ain't having it.
Very nice presentation. What if diarrhea is a frequent pron!em especially after eating should a disciplined diet and time to eat important
This was helpfull, thank you.
Using latex-type hospital gloves helps me with my 39 year old daughter who has 4-5 level dementia. We can do this!😊
Good post.
Good information 👍 ur tips will work only in the early stages but when person comes to diaper stage We may have plan in different methods like solid foods and fluids by making perfect schedule will benefit for toiletng and this my experience with my elder brother in law who sufferd from Alzimer and he passed away in the year 2019 and noticed in the year 2013 after coming back from Newzealand.
The last option is medication with proper knowledge mean to say quantity will play a bigger game
Madam thanks for sharing ur knowledge and God bless you 🙏
Thank you. This has increased with my LO he has incontinence regularly. I've bought various types of depends etc. But nothing helps him. He doesn't remember when he has to urinate. He had a stroke a month or so ago and I believe it's caused more instability. He very depressed on many meds to avoid violent manic episodes. Thanks i'll try the schedule.
We often have toilet issues, whether constipation/blockage or uncontrollable diarrhea. We also often deal with clogs in the toilet due to her using too much paper.
Hallo and thank you.. Do you have suggestions on what to do when the caregiver feels that she cannot go on like this anymore. What is the move to do then?
Put them in a home
My mom is scared of pooping and won’t even push without crying her gets out even if her poop is soft. I’m so stressed over this. She has no issue controlling her bladder, but this fear of pooping have been so difficult for me
Hey can you put a video up about vascular dementia please my gran has it the now and because she's not safe at home she's to go into a care home and I was wondering if there's any advice you can give me thanks ❤️
find someone to live w/her.. keep her home.