Which bathroom toileting tip will you try today? Remember by you making some small changes in your approach, you can start to see improvements in your loved one with dementia!
Careblazers: dementia care heroes thank you my husband was diagnosed with vascular dementia by his cardiologist and just dementia from neurologist prescribed (Aricept) and primary internal medicine. He has had prostrate surgery several years ago and his urologist prescribed Medicare D allows Vesicare but it's expensive. His incontinence is much worse. He also is experiencing bowel incontinence? He diagnoses was June 2017 medically retired. I believe he has had dementia much longer. I just found your utube broadcast. I've watched many of ms. Snow. I'm overwhelmed. He's 80 yrs old strong looking and can fool most people including doctors. Any help I'll appreciate. Thank you
I can use advice for my husband, who has Alzheimer’s disease. He is having bouts of diarrhea and sometimes cannot make it to the toilet and I discover liquid feces on the toilet, floor and even on the wall. His doctor knows about his problem with very loose stool. One very big problem - he get very agitated if I ask about his problem and he does not or cannot respond, so I don’t know how often he relieves himself or whether his stool has normalized. He still manages his toileting and showering o his own. The diarrhea issue is the major concern relating to bathroom issues at this time.
My parents are currently in assisted living. Dad is legally blind. Plus he was recently diagnosed with both an enlarged prostate & lung cancer. Mom has been dealing with Alzheimer's for about 10 years, officially diagnosed in 2018. The medication she is on has a side effect of stomach issues (nausea & diarrhea). Most of the time she makes it to the bathroom on her own & still able to clean up after herself, but she does have occasional accidents at least once every 1-2 weeks. The staff at their facility has helped out whenever they've had problems with either wetting the bed at night (dad) or accidents on the way to the toilet (mom). We are moving them out of that place within the next month because their "rent" & service fees have nearly tripled in 3.5 years. My dad can no longer afford the ever increasing costs (about $12k a month). So they are moving in with me, my husband, & my 20 yr old daughter. The one thing I was concerned about was the toileting issues. I don't have a problem with it as I worked 3 years as a home caregiver assistant for a bed bound end stage dementia patient. Prior to that I worked many years in animal services (vet office, shelter, etc). So human or animal pee, poop, vomit, & blood doesn't bother me. It doesn't affect my husband either as he was great about changing our baby daughter's diapers, but the one thing he can't handle is vomit. My daughter hasn't been exposed to much of either, but she does have low tolerance for strong odors (gags when she has to scoop her cat's litter box) - HA! I found this video at just the right time. These tips will come in handy for all three of us when my parents are finally moved into our place, especially as my mom's dementia progresses & she loses her independence. Thank you for posting these videos with such helpful info & advice!
I just got my mom out of a nursing home last week, I taught hard. This video was very help full. In one week my mother has changed drastically. I know it’s gonna be a long road but she is sooo worth it. 🥰
@@meramirror5237 The nursing home had her on pills to stop her from peeing, in two weeks she lost 16lbs of fluid, she was so drugged up it was earful, she now goes pee and Pooh on the toilet, now night time is a whole different thing. I have in gaged her in music therapy, she loves bingo, loves to fold clothes. She strings beads on long shoelaces. Loves to watch price is right and also loves flash cards/spelling words. I have learned so much from this channel. If I’m in a bad mood my mum reads my face and then she’s in a bad mood so I stay up beat and smile most days. This is the most challenging thing I have ever done, my husband has left the home over my mother living here but I’m at peace with any and all decisions that pertain to her care. Stay strong, exercise routine is also important to.
My sister has dementia and in a care facility. There is a 21 year age difference. When she first got to the facility I had to help her use the bathroom. She was using depends. I had to help her pull them down and use the toilet. She kept saying “you don’t have to do this” I said, “when I was a baby you changed my diapers “. It kind of “broke the ice /relieved the tension. She said, “I bet you never thought you’d be changing my diapers “ I told her that I don’t mind at all. 💜
Saying that to my mom just upsets her. She refuses to think of her underwear as diapers. She will just want to pull a full one back up and i have said it that what you would have done when i was a baby? Just wipe and put a dirty diaper back on? She gets insulted. So i can't use that anymore.
A key for me and my wife is for me to put on a big smile and say "let's go" instead of asking if she wants to go. A rough schedule is a great help - it's not me, it's the schedule!
Wow taking care of dementia persons has changed alot since the early 1990's. I worked in a home for the aging and ill, I was taught and told to Always correct them and " bring them into the present ". I'm glad to say I was and am bad at doing what to do " on some thing not all". I didn't see the harm of letting someone think I was a family member especially if their family weren't able to visit.
One tip that helps is to look for ways to praise my dear friend with dementia. As the dementia has worsened I can see confusion, sadness at the loss of being able to do things independently. Letting her know how helpful she is has made our lives better. When she uses the bathroom I’m thankful and let her know softly. But inside I’m excited because the floor is clean. Changing my thinking away from expecting normal behavior has helped tremendously.
My husband is very demanding and stubborn. He insist in drinking tea all day long and goes to the bathroom several times at night and the goes drink most tea. He refuses to drink water. He puddles on the floor and refuses to wear pull ups. He also refuses to take his insulin and other meds. He will urinate in parking lots. Ian very frustrated.
These are great tips. I'm a maternity nurse, so I haven't dealt with this, but my step-mom was my father's caretaker. It's amazing how kind she remained throughout. People who do this and are respectful and caring despite the difficulty are saints in my book.
Leaving the toilet seat up, as opposed to down, finds him to leave only trickles as opposed to overwhelming puddles on the floor and in the wastebasket. Something about the seat being down seems to deter him; he still knows that the toilet is the destination for relieving himself, but if that seat is down, he avoids using it. What a wonderful channel, such a nice find while on my search for possible solutions to daily dementia debacles... Truly appreciate the tips, and also the comments.
Severe Severe Traumatic Brain Injury myself, from a car accident, 38 years ago, when my body was a 34 year old socially worker. Now using an electronic bidet. Warm seat. Warm air blowing, to dry the mess. Warm water to clean to assist the lower plumbing trip work better. Weekend dementia worsens my dysautonomia further, we still choose the electronic bidet which automatically raises the toilet seat, when the person is best the seat. We are living in government provided rental housing for aged, frail people like myself. Australian Capital Territory. After each medical incident, often after surgery, my body needs to stay in a medical nursing home, before my aged wife is able to nurse my disabled body. We are both aged pensioners, not at all with money, nor property. Both retired social workers, from the non profit industries.
This is an incredible channel!!! What a find! I thank you so very much for all your advise and tips! I care for my 88 year old mother, (stroke surviver), my 90 year old dad, (early dementia, and my 9 year old son with down syndrome. This helps me for all of them!!! I felt like crying when I heard some of the things you said, like, maintaining your composure and calm friendliness even if you feel like crawling up into a ball and crying. It's so difficult to see when each of them loses a little bit of their memory. It makes me feel like such a failure for not being able to keep their memory going for them... "what am I doing wrong: why is their memory progressing so qquickly?; what should I be doing;?; am I doing all I can?; how can I help them more? Between that, and appointments, bills, housekeeping, yardwork, holidays, schedules, sleeping troubles they are having... it can make me feel really exhausted. I've already promised them I wouldn't send them to a nursing home, they can get the hospice here when the time comes. Then I would be able to get a little more assistance... I hope. I've just been seeing it all more apparent since covid isolation began. Again, thank you so very much!!!!!!!
I love your story-such incredible love and commitment you detail in the care of impactful family members. And what a courageous choice you made to do it all yourself. You are an inspiration to me as I’ve begun the full time care of my Dad with Lewy body dementia. Thank you for sharing.
OMG, I took care of two elderly parents, I cannot imagine adding a 9-year-old with Down's syndrome to the workload. The angels are reserving a special corner of Heaven for you!!!
I built my husband a urinal. He has a hard time hitting the toilet and so I purchased a 10" funnel and built a stand out of a round, cardboard cement form and placed a container under the funnel. I put a washcloth at the bottom of this on the floor. He is pretty good about hitting this opposed the the toilet. The container can be emptied into the toilet. He sometimes looks right at it but still doesn't understand where to urinate. I have to coach him throughout the night. Thank you for your encouraging videos. They have really helped me as a caregiver.
I have incorporated her favorite colors like the bath rug that is stored over the tub edge ( bright purple splash of color) & a cheerful flower shower curtain design w/purple interspersed. On bathroom mirror I change out gel clings with seasonal cheery themes; Easter bunny and eggs then tulips for spring etc...
Just found this and look forward to reading all the posts. My 87 year old dad has some dementia issues but on the whole is fairly functional except with regards to the toilet. He is incontinent and uses guards but will often go an entire day without changing the guard even when he admits that he has had an accident. He also has bathing issues but that's for another time/discussion.
I too am glad I found this. I am a newly to caring for someone with dementia. I have learn to listen closely. When you listen you can find out what they are interested in. That gives you a great engagement tool.
Thankyou for your lessons of light. Night and day. Three days into retraining how I present myself to my wife and already so much better. Just keep smiling as best you can, and try to become their allie, use statements, as you say, as they are easy to agree to for the patient as apposed to asking them to answere questions. Thanks again. I am glad to finally be on a better track. God bless. Your series gets my highest recommendation.
When I would get my mom all settled back in bed, I would always compliment her on how well it all went and ask her if she felt better so the next time she would be more likely to be agreeable to go when I asked her to.
So true how our unspoken communication of our body language and facial expression can make the difference between the event becoming a battle or just a minor event to navigate! I have done it both ways, unfortunately. Thanks for the sensible advice!
I know everytime I visit my mom, she have to go to the bathroom, she walking better but still she shake, I usually help her sit on the toilet and pull down her diaper -believe she gets embarrassed when she thinks she can't do this on her own, I tell her-you did good! She's a Fall Risk patient
I so agree with you. Just saying, "wow, you DID it, you did great!" with a big happy smile, makes my mama so relieved & grateful. I love her so much. Sigh! Keep up the great work!
Thanks for the toilet etiquette tips. I find it very helpful to be reminded not to use my "damn, not again" face! Ostomy bag is a complete challenge, but i have posted notes for my mom to see while sitting on the toilet...things like: Please do not flush wipes or poop bag down the toilet. Wash hands. Simple things we take for granted.
Oh Pam, i so relate. I would get so annoyed, seemed like mitigating poop everywhere would be my fate for years to come, am sure the vexation made her feel bad. Now I'm praying to be humble & reassuring to her. So far so good.
My husband has Alzheimer's and Ulcerative colitis which makes it very stressful and I am 67 with chronic back pain and cleaning up him,the bathroom and washing his clothes is very difficult. His dr is trying to find a medicine that will help,Praise God. I am trying my best to not put him in a nursing home.I don't want him to think I am abandoning him because he still knows me and what's happening around him! Soooo tired!!! Nana
Sometimes it helps to give them a cup of water while they're sitting there. Many times they don't drink enough throughout the day and it may help them go better on the schedule 👍 just be sure to cut it off before late in the evening.
Yes knowing their more regular times they need the toilet, and then getting their body use to using a schedule really helps with adults and potting training kids. You really know , and help with caregiving. It can be a lonely job. You mostly talk of in family care. I am a live in.
Yes Dr Natale your tips of bathroom journey is very valuable. The suggestion of being ahead of toileting pattern and catch it before seems to be working. Thank you.
I have found the more you can schedule bathroom stuff, the easier... Used to have to BEG my wife to go pee. I am now using ALEXA to put out verbal reminders at set times during the day...Somehow she is less likely to resist the notion that it's bathroom time. Like an outside authority... When Alexa says it's time to go BOOM boom...we go....At first she was a bit reticent than "some woman" was telling her it was potty time..still doesn't know Alexa is a robot..
This is a perfect solution. Great job Alexa! PS The toilet seat needs to be shaped differently I think. Needs space for a backside and front side wash wand squirter.
Sometimes it helps to turn the sink faucet on to help them get going…just make sure they’re positioned first, because the response can be instantaneous.
Hello I'm from Colombia. I'm learning english and your pronunciation is so clear and beautiful. In the other hand I'm going to offer helping to kids and adults with physical disables, this kind of information is very important for me.
I appreciate this so much. I believe it popped up in my notifications due to the fact that my siblings and I have recently been discussing our MWD new bathroom habits. She's begun using chairs and sheets instead of going to the bathroom😞. I'm going to pass this along and see if it helps at all. Thank you for all you do!
In my personal case, at this moment, we expect to "graduate" my very frail body to a special motorized wheelchair. This allows all functions always to be done from this wheelchair: sleeping, washing, plumbing requirements, feeding, commuting (via wheelchair friendly vehicles), entertaining, shopping, visiting, etc.
The best of these motorized wheelchairs are relatively low cost, bulk produced devices. These allow carer control for demented or helpless clients, like myself. As my personal body ages, this device allows better use for my support staff, at this hospice, or the future hospitals, nursing home, medical appointments, shipping centers, etc.
Yes i am having issues with my mom not wanting to use the toliet, she will pee and poop in her pullups and just sit in it. Or she will miss her comode in her room and poop on the floor. This has been a nightmare for me. Her comode is right by her bed. She also says im going to faint while she is pooping and wants to lay down. She refuses to shower, even fired her bather, im blessed that i found your videos. My mom is really mean and very very hard to deal with.
I hear you. My mom's behaviors are not exactly the same, but she screams at us and calls us names and makes fun of us and tells me she hates me and to get out and refuses help and then poops while standing up and walks in it and on and on. It's a whole dementia thing, apparently.
@@hollymcentyre7715 awe I feel your pain. Yes my mom made a mess in her bed, the day before I cleaned and put washed blankets bedding, then she did this, I had to do laundry all over again
@@daisyy99 you got that right. Thankfully we found better meds and ways to cope. Sadly now my mom is gone but at least she is free from that dreadful disease.
I would like to add that passing gas is a good indication that the loved one might need to empty his or her bowels. Also, I had to remove all towels from the room, after spotting my husband wiping himself on one. I hung it outside the room, so it is available for handwashing after the pants are pulled up.
My mother n law usually goes about 20-30 times between 7am and 9am. She’s usually in there 3-4 times at night too. She also doesn’t see a need to wash her hands with soap. We have a bedside commode but she won’t use it. She uses pads but goes through about 10-20 pair of underwear a day.
My Mom often forgets to wash her hands or doesn’t want to because the water is too cold. I finally put hand sanitizer in the bathroom and I just squirt a small amount on her hands for her to use and then we call that good.🙂
I have been dealing with resistance from my husband on changing incontinence underwear especially before bed, I thought I'd thought of everything, thanks for a new approach, ideas. Judy
Nursing homes often have situation where a common bathroom to be used for 2 or 4 residents. Family care helper - offput if non pleasant odor often encountered - making it more difficult to portray toileting - pleasant- non difficult. suggest mild time release odor control - and not succumbing to decreased facility maintenance / .
Thank you for your response. Your collected information is full of positive tips; especially emphasizing care of caregivers. Delegating time with others often helps with caregivers' respite care minutes/ or a few hours.
Thank you so much. Doing the laundry alone is almost a fulltime job. My wife drinks a lot of water because of her medication she is on for hallucinations. She sometimes forgets or gets sidetracked when she is in the bathroom. She locks the door but I have another door from the master bedroom. So I can help is she is sitting down. I'm working on that smiley face thing.
You need to go get one of those porta-potties (Don't know the name), measure the legs to her sitting height and put it over the toilet./// I have exploding diarrhea that could happen at Any second (withOut my being able to control it And it was every 15 min. or so) and couldn't walk because I stopped eating. I ended up in two hospitals and Both were mad at me===they would Not let me out of bed because I would fall over, they were mad if I asked for a bedpan and there is No WAY I would Ever have the strength to get up from those/their low toilets (much Less get there). When they forever had to change the sheets, they yanked and pulled me around to make sure I knew just how mad they were. One said--I am So Sick and Tired of cleaning up after you. I cried a lot. Finding one of those raised potties was an Absolute God Send. //// THat is why I Love this site SOo Much:: what she says is So true./// Tim, keep up the Wonderful work and DO keep smiling (as you Are).....
Yes! For my Mom I have decorated her bathroom with white, light pink, roses, a hint of green and a softly textured rug with a thick rubber bottom. She enjoys gliding her feet side to side over the rug.
My mother-in-law is in a rehab facility for a broken ankle right now. Her short-term memory is all of a sudden really bad and so we are going to have her tested to see if she has Alzheimer’s or dementia. She is currently in pull-ups and having a hard time cleaning herself in the bathroom. My husband and I are trying to decide what to do on whether we put her in a home or bring her to live with us. She is 88 years old. I want to help take care of her, but I know the bathroom responsibilities will fall on me and I am not good with that. I am so bad around these things that I can’t even eat or drink in a hospital setting. I am trying to fix myself right now.
Yes it is I need to hold back my frustration though I try hard but will have to do more, but Some music in the bathroom time. Can you please tell me where I can get choir singing music for dementia thank you very much. You are truly an Angel in your body. God bless you
Lots of good tips for "DEMENTIA" BUT DEMENTIA covers a large area. My wife has Lewy body dementia and she is fine wife going to the commode but she is not physically able to get to the commode, without a lot of assistance, even right next to the bed. It's too bad the word DEMENTIA is used alone but there is a big different between the kinds of DEMENTIA. I do appreciate your efforts, I'm sure you help a lot of people
Our issue is our loved one goes to into the bathroom VERY often and stays in there. She says she feels like she has to go. Checked for health issues and nothing. Maybe we should put a small decorative fountain in the bathroom to see if the sound of water will help her go? 🤷♀️
This is really difficult. Technically my stepdad isn't incontinent, but he has accidents all the time. He can't walk, so I keep a urinal by his bed. Unfortunately, it's like he is forgetting WHERE to place urinal while peeing. Rather than putting penis inside urinal, he will place it an inch or so below his penis, so he sets his pants several times per day. If I try to explain it to him, he starts yelling at me. I honestly don't know what to do. He's actually thrown his full urinal across the room. I put him in a diaper, but it didn't work. He pulls his diaper down and repeats above problem.
So exasperating, and my heart goes out to you. I know someone who went through something similar, with her father peeing on the sliding door or wherever he felt like, as well as pooping everywhere. Have you minimized the areas he can be in to contain the mess? You can try black rugs or runners to keep him out of areas. Patients think the black is a hole, so avoid it, or so I was told. Also putting a DO NOT ENTER sign on a door may keep them out of an area or from going outside. Hoping you have God to turn to for your anguish and for hope of a better future one day. Caregiving is very difficult. My friend lost her dad, but his life insurance covered the cost of new carpeting and some new furniture, which was a blessing since he'd destroyed it all. Hang in there and take a five minute break whenever you can to just collect yourself or scream into a pillow or cry or journal your frustrations. Blessings to you.
Do you ever have issues that a loved one does not want to move all day no matter what we try. My mother in law is 85 and the primary caregiver of my father-in-law. He wears diapers and will not move from his chair all day. He gets very angry and she cannot lift or keep asking nicely to get up and move to restroom or other location. He has also started to slide down his chair daily and cannot get up. He will just lay there until the ambulance comes to help her. Have you heard of this?
Tank you soooo much for sharing. I want to ask, what can i do to convince my mom to take a bath or wash her self? Thank you again for all your help, you are very kind :)
Such a toughie! Some caregivers have luck with trying to have a "spa day." Instead of a bath, they make a big deal about winning some sort of spa package. The light candles in the bathroom, have relaxing music, have a comfortable robe, etc.
If your mom is still able to accompany you on an outing (like going to a thrift store or a garden center), tell her she can’t go with you until she takes a shower/bath. Your mom might consider getting out of the house as a treat, and be more amenable to taking her bath.
Just tell her that you were in the grocery store the other day and noticed a funny smell, and a woman passed by you that stinked up the whole isle, then you tell her come mom let's bath I don't want you to get like her
It was at one of those paint studios that give you A LOT of help so I am not really that talented! They actually have a pencil drawing of the dog and then you paint. It was much fun!
One of the things dementia does is remove the signal from the bladder and bowel to let the LO know that they need to go. This is in the later stages, but does happen. All the tips can at best reduce the occurance of "accidents".
Thank you for perhaps the all time best support group to be found for caregivers dealing with dementia. I feel as though a prayer was answered when I stumbled upon your you tube channel tonight. I've got a problem with my mom's toileting habits. She seems to prefer wash clothes, towels, or any articles of clothing to wipe herself after a BM. And then hides them or jumbles them up somewhere later to be found. And even when she does use toilet paper, she doesn't put it in the toilet once dirty. I've purchased wipes and shown her how they can be used repeatedly. I'd appreciate any advice as to how best to avoid this most difficult problem.
My mom did this. It is gross, no way round it. The "good" thing is, it will soon get so bad someone will always have to be with her, in the bathroom which, being an anytime need, means 24/7. Don't "try out" a care facility. They are understaffed, patients are left in dirty diapers, & she'll lose all toileting skills. Took us a year to reteach my mom how to go to the bathroom...but she's late stage now so we just have to be with her there anyhow. Trying to use this as a spiritual practice...detachment, patience, humbleness....& non-prissiness, oh plus cheeriness...making a dent in these!
Awesome soooo much thankyou . This is very helpful. P.ease keep uploading more videos i have a lobed one with vascular dementia is the care any different
If you haven't, I just found your channel, please talk about talking to them when they seem not to be there and hardly can verbally communicate anymore and/or are not coherent anymore. I like to talk to my mother normally. On one occasion, she "came back for minutes" and told me "a window opened'. Other people tell me not to bother. I disagree. It was awful through the pandemic closings.
Off the immediate subject but. Do you have any thoughts on family pets and dementia paitents. Its my girlfriend with dementia and my little pup loves her... is it ok to let them be together?
Can u suggest how to distract or how to handle when our loved one is missing their dog that has passed away? She waits up for it,leaves door unlocked or open so it can get in,thinks the neighbors stole it etc. Its heartbreaking and all day!!! Worse during sundowners! Thank you!!!
You have thought me so much. I don’t get upset like I use too now that I under stand. I’m careful how I answer him as well and it truly makes my job so muck easier. It is very hard sence I never had kids and 71 is not a good time to start.
My dad just keeps forgetting to lift up the toilet seat, I tell him if it's it's easier for him he can use my chamber pot in my bedroom. I have been sick from allergies alot and it causes lots of bathroom issues for me.
My mother in advance stage dementia is having to go every 15 to 20 minutes when she doesn't really have to, This is impossible to live with since she has limited mobility and weighs 90 kg. If a person is able to make the way to the toilet by themselves its manageable otherwise not.
Could you talk about activities dementia patient could possibly enjoy? We painted flower pots and that seemed to be enjoyable. Playing GO FISH was frustrating for her forcexcample
If your loved one with dementia has an incontenance issue, wearing both day and night time adult diapers helps with the accidents. We had to resort to this with my mom for toileting issues as sometimes we didn't make it to the bathroom fast enough during the day and at night, she was wetting despite having reduced liquid intake and toileted before going to bed. Placing bed pads on bed also helps in having not to wash soiled sheets all the time.
constipation is something nobody wants to talk about. Many people can start getting impacted in as little as two days. The stool will become hard and round like a baseball and it gets stuck in there. It is very painful and the person will not be able to pass it through. many cannot tell the family what is going on. Impaction will need an Emergency Room visit. Keep them on a bowel regimen -- lactulose is very helpful -- start with just a teaspoon and see how that goes. It can take 16 hours to kick on. Keep a diary or at least write on the calander their last bowel movement. If they can still flush the toilet, use a toilet lock which you can get on amazon. It's a device to prevent children from flushing the toilet . You need to SEE when they had a bowel movement. If the person has kidney disease, do NOT give them fleet enemas or milk of magnesia because the phosphate salts or magnesium cannot be flushed out due to kidney disesae. Lactulose is entirely safe for kidney issues.
Thankfully my dad has control of the bowels and will go to the toilet when the urge hits. He does have prune juice daily but just about 2 oz mixed in with OJ. Sounds odd but the flavor is actually ok as it's mostly OJ.
Would be interested in some of these videos but they are no good to me as; I need subtitles as I am deaf. Do you think you will be making sub titles available soon
My husband's aim is terrible. I wrap the pads used for protecting bed sheets around the base of the toilets, saving me from endlessly cleaning the floor. Also use incontinence pants at night.
Personally I use urinal bottles, in the rooms at home. Otherwise napkins or disposables. My wife found it difficult with so many urine bottles, but it is easier than the alternatives.
My husband blames all bad things he does on a fake person. He lights handkerchiefs or one time a tissue . Yes I’m hiding all lighters:(. But always listening to someone else. My husband is a very social guy. I’m glad he’s not alone I guess. But this doing things that r bad and blaming is off the hook! Thank u
Hardest part is every time I try to help gpa, he says things like I'm not helpless or I'm not dead yet or I don't need ur help and I don't want ur help. What then? Hes gonna be 75 tomorrow and he acts like he's 40 and he doesn't understand why no one will let him do things all by himself anymore 🙁
My loved one is a 56 year old woman with early onset Alz. I am her trigger so she will not listen to me and doesnt want my help with anything, much less the bathroom. She has gone downhill quickly, will shower with the carehelper but will not go to the restroom. Ends up having a couple of accidents daily.. Help
My 93 yr old mom has started pooping in the shower last week. She gets a shower 3 times a week with a shower aid. Last week when this happened the first time, we were hoping it was just a fluke, but today she did it again. What are some things that we can do? We have had to help her with her all her bathroom needs for almost 11 months. Help….
So far no major problems except my brother will use toilet paper and leave it on the sink counter. He refuses to put it in the toilet. I don't leave out wipes as he might flush those and they are not flushable. He also leaves up the seat (we share the bathroom) but I'm used to that. The problem is that he is not brushing his teeth or taking a shower and while I can remind him, and he will go in the bathroom, it's evident that he is not doing either tasks. How can I get him to keep himself cleaner without causing anxiety on his part? Suspect this is something that has been going on a long time.
My mother in law who has been living with us since May 2023 has accidents in the middle of the night with no memory of it at all. We either find her naked the next morning which signals us to look for the soiled clothing or she will take the wet clothes off, hid them and put other clothes on and has absolutely no memory of it at all. We moved her into the livingroom and added a bathroom so everything she needed was all in one room and hoping the accidents were her looking for the bathroom but even now with the bathroom feet from her she's having them. Any advice how to stop the night sleepwalking episodes and accidents she's having? It's very hard to find clothes and properly clean up after her when she's not aware of it at all. She'll ask whey we are cleaning or what the wet clothes were doing there?
We so need help with this! My mom has 100% trauma around going to the toilet. She hates the room, she finds sitting down and standing up painful, having BMs distresses her. About 90% of our behavior problems, screaming, etc., are around her needing to poop, being in the middle of pooping, or trying not to poop. It's awful.
She won't sit down I can get my wife into the bathroom but can't figure out how to get her to sit on the toilet. Even if I'm holding her, I think she is afraid of falling.
I've seen a video of a helper getting a girl on and off a toilet. The girl had a fat belt, sort of like a sumo wrestler belt. The assistant used that belt to get the girl on and off.
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Which bathroom toileting tip will you try today? Remember by you making some small changes in your approach, you can start to see improvements in your loved one with dementia!
Careblazers: dementia care heroes thank you my husband was diagnosed with vascular dementia by his cardiologist and just dementia from neurologist prescribed (Aricept) and primary internal medicine. He has had prostrate surgery several years ago and his urologist prescribed Medicare D allows Vesicare but it's expensive. His incontinence is much worse. He also is experiencing bowel incontinence? He diagnoses was June 2017 medically retired. I believe he has had dementia much longer. I just found your utube broadcast. I've watched many of ms. Snow. I'm overwhelmed. He's 80 yrs old strong looking and can fool most people including doctors. Any help I'll appreciate. Thank you
I can use advice for my husband, who has Alzheimer’s disease. He is having bouts of diarrhea and sometimes cannot make it to the toilet and I discover liquid feces on the toilet, floor and even on the wall. His doctor knows about his problem with very loose stool. One very big problem - he get very agitated if I ask about his problem and he does not or cannot respond, so I don’t know how often he relieves himself or whether his stool has normalized. He still manages his toileting and showering o his own.
The diarrhea issue is the major concern relating to bathroom issues at this time.
Very helpful. What about cleaning teeth. 🤔
My parents are currently in assisted living. Dad is legally blind. Plus he was recently diagnosed with both an enlarged prostate & lung cancer. Mom has been dealing with Alzheimer's for about 10 years, officially diagnosed in 2018. The medication she is on has a side effect of stomach issues (nausea & diarrhea). Most of the time she makes it to the bathroom on her own & still able to clean up after herself, but she does have occasional accidents at least once every 1-2 weeks. The staff at their facility has helped out whenever they've had problems with either wetting the bed at night (dad) or accidents on the way to the toilet (mom).
We are moving them out of that place within the next month because their "rent" & service fees have nearly tripled in 3.5 years. My dad can no longer afford the ever increasing costs (about $12k a month). So they are moving in with me, my husband, & my 20 yr old daughter. The one thing I was concerned about was the toileting issues. I don't have a problem with it as I worked 3 years as a home caregiver assistant for a bed bound end stage dementia patient. Prior to that I worked many years in animal services (vet office, shelter, etc). So human or animal pee, poop, vomit, & blood doesn't bother me.
It doesn't affect my husband either as he was great about changing our baby daughter's diapers, but the one thing he can't handle is vomit. My daughter hasn't been exposed to much of either, but she does have low tolerance for strong odors (gags when she has to scoop her cat's litter box) - HA!
I found this video at just the right time. These tips will come in handy for all three of us when my parents are finally moved into our place, especially as my mom's dementia progresses & she loses her independence. Thank you for posting these videos with such helpful info & advice!
I just got my mom out of a nursing home last week, I taught hard. This video was very help full. In one week my mother has changed drastically. I know it’s gonna be a long road but she is sooo worth it. 🥰
How were you able to help her? I’m struggling with helping my mom
@@meramirror5237 The nursing home had her on pills to stop her from peeing, in two weeks she lost 16lbs of fluid, she was so drugged up it was earful, she now goes pee and Pooh on the toilet, now night time is a whole different thing. I have in gaged her in music therapy, she loves bingo, loves to fold clothes. She strings beads on long shoelaces. Loves to watch price is right and also loves flash cards/spelling words. I have learned so much from this channel. If I’m in a bad mood my mum reads my face and then she’s in a bad mood so I stay up beat and smile most days. This is the most challenging thing I have ever done, my husband has left the home over my mother living here but I’m at peace with any and all decisions that pertain to her care. Stay strong, exercise routine is also important to.
My sister has dementia and in a care facility. There is a 21 year age difference. When she first got to the facility I had to help her use the bathroom. She was using depends. I had to help her pull them down and use the toilet. She kept saying “you don’t have to do this” I said, “when I was a baby you changed my diapers “. It kind of “broke the ice /relieved the tension. She said, “I bet you never thought you’d be changing my diapers “ I told her that I don’t mind at all. 💜
Thank you for sharing. What a beautiful way to handle such a delicate situation. ❤
Saying that to my mom just upsets her. She refuses to think of her underwear as diapers. She will just want to pull a full one back up and i have said it that what you would have done when i was a baby? Just wipe and put a dirty diaper back on? She gets insulted. So i can't use that anymore.
@@SheCat1964 🫂
A key for me and my wife is for me to put on a big smile and say "let's go" instead of asking if she wants to go. A rough schedule is a great help - it's not me, it's the schedule!
Wow taking care of dementia persons has changed alot since the early 1990's. I worked in a home for the aging and ill, I was taught and told to Always correct them and " bring them into the present ". I'm glad to say I was and am bad at doing what to do " on some thing not all". I didn't see the harm of letting someone think I was a family member especially if their family weren't able to visit.
. 0lp.oppp
One tip that helps is to look for ways to praise my dear friend with dementia. As the dementia has worsened I can see confusion, sadness at the loss of being able to do things independently. Letting her know how helpful she is has made our lives better. When she uses the bathroom I’m thankful and let her know softly. But inside I’m excited because the floor is clean. Changing my thinking away from expecting normal behavior has helped tremendously.
My husband is very demanding and stubborn. He insist in drinking tea all day long and goes to the bathroom several times at night and the goes drink most tea. He refuses to drink water. He puddles on the floor and refuses to wear pull ups. He also refuses to take his insulin and other meds. He will urinate in parking lots. Ian very frustrated.
@@annsloan4976 I hope things are better for you. Thank you for sharing your truth. Some of our situations are more challenging than others.
These are great tips. I'm a maternity nurse, so I haven't dealt with this, but my step-mom was my father's caretaker. It's amazing how kind she remained throughout. People who do this and are respectful and caring despite the difficulty are saints in my book.
Leaving the toilet seat up, as opposed to down, finds him to leave only trickles as opposed to overwhelming puddles on the floor and in the wastebasket. Something about the seat being down seems to deter him; he still knows that the toilet is the destination for relieving himself, but if that seat is down, he avoids using it. What a wonderful channel, such a nice find while on my search for possible solutions to daily dementia debacles... Truly appreciate the tips, and also the comments.
Severe Severe Traumatic Brain Injury myself, from a car accident, 38 years ago, when my body was a 34 year old socially worker.
Now using an electronic bidet. Warm seat. Warm air blowing, to dry the mess. Warm water to clean to assist the lower plumbing trip work better.
Weekend dementia worsens my dysautonomia further, we still choose the electronic bidet which automatically raises the toilet seat, when the person is best the seat.
We are living in government provided rental housing for aged, frail people like myself. Australian Capital Territory. After each medical incident, often after surgery, my body needs to stay in a medical nursing home, before my aged wife is able to nurse my disabled body. We are both aged pensioners, not at all with money, nor property. Both retired social workers, from the non profit industries.
This is an incredible channel!!! What a find! I thank you so very much for all your advise and tips! I care for my 88 year old mother, (stroke surviver), my 90 year old dad, (early dementia, and my 9 year old son with down syndrome. This helps me for all of them!!! I felt like crying when I heard some of the things you said, like, maintaining your composure and calm friendliness even if you feel like crawling up into a ball and crying. It's so difficult to see when each of them loses a little bit of their memory. It makes me feel like such a failure for not being able to keep their memory going for them... "what am I doing wrong: why is their memory progressing so qquickly?; what should I be doing;?; am I doing all I can?; how can I help them more? Between that, and appointments, bills, housekeeping, yardwork, holidays, schedules, sleeping troubles they are having... it can make me feel really exhausted. I've already promised them I wouldn't send them to a nursing home, they can get the hospice here when the time comes. Then I would be able to get a little more assistance... I hope. I've just been seeing it all more apparent since covid isolation began. Again, thank you so very much!!!!!!!
I love your story-such incredible love and commitment you detail in the care of impactful family members. And what a courageous choice you made to do it all yourself. You are an inspiration to me as I’ve begun the full time care of my Dad with Lewy body dementia. Thank you for sharing.
God bless your life.
OMG, I took care of two elderly parents, I cannot imagine adding a 9-year-old with Down's syndrome to the workload. The angels are reserving a special corner of Heaven for you!!!
I wish we had found your videos when we were caring for my grandmother.
Playing the right music in the bathroom is genius!! ✨💖
I built my husband a urinal. He has a hard time hitting the toilet and so I purchased a 10" funnel and built a stand out of a round, cardboard cement form and placed a container under the funnel. I put a washcloth at the bottom of this on the floor. He is pretty good about hitting this opposed the the toilet. The container can be emptied into the toilet. He sometimes looks right at it but still doesn't understand where to urinate. I have to coach him throughout the night. Thank you for your encouraging videos. They have really helped me as a caregiver.
What a wonderful idea ! 🙂
You’re so good 🙏♥️
I have incorporated her favorite colors like the bath rug that is stored over the tub edge ( bright purple splash of color) & a cheerful flower shower curtain design w/purple interspersed. On bathroom mirror I change out gel clings with seasonal cheery themes; Easter bunny and eggs then tulips for spring etc...
Wonderful!
eventually you will have to remove the bath rug being a trip hazard.
Just found this and look forward to reading all the posts. My 87 year old dad has some dementia issues but on the whole is fairly functional except with regards to the toilet. He is incontinent and uses guards but will often go an entire day without changing the guard even when he admits that he has had an accident. He also has bathing issues but that's for another time/discussion.
Oh also at Stage 5 Dementia for my Mom, using hand gestures and showing her what I need her to help me help her to do, has been a game changer!
I too am glad I found this. I am a newly to caring for someone with dementia. I have learn to listen closely. When you listen you can find out what they are interested in. That gives you a great engagement tool.
Thankyou for your lessons of light. Night and day. Three days into retraining how I present myself to my wife and already so much better. Just keep smiling as best you can, and try to become their allie, use statements, as you say, as they are easy to agree to for the patient as apposed to asking them to answere questions. Thanks again. I am glad to finally be on a better track. God bless. Your series gets my highest recommendation.
When I would get my mom all settled back in bed, I would always compliment her on how well it all went and ask her if she felt better so the next time she would be more likely to be agreeable to go when I asked her to.
So true how our unspoken communication of our body language and facial expression can make the difference between the event becoming a battle or just a minor event to navigate! I have done it both ways, unfortunately. Thanks for the sensible advice!
I am so glad to have found this! What a great service for us caregivers and family members
Thank you KAY MCNUTT! I hope the videos help out in some small way.
@@DementiaCareblazers I share almost all of your videos in my group
My wife was having difficulty finding the toilet. It matched the floor tile. I got a new seat and cover with high contrast. So far so good!
That is awesome!
I know everytime I visit my mom, she have to go to the bathroom, she walking better but still she shake, I usually help her sit on the toilet and pull down her diaper -believe she gets embarrassed when she thinks she can't do this on her own, I tell her-you did good! She's a Fall Risk patient
I so agree with you. Just saying, "wow, you DID it, you did great!" with a big happy smile, makes my mama so relieved & grateful. I love her so much. Sigh! Keep up the great work!
Thanks, I am currently dealing with my grandmother who has dementia. Your tips has really helped me. Will implement.
Thanks for the toilet etiquette tips. I find it very helpful to be reminded not to use my "damn, not again" face! Ostomy bag is a complete challenge, but i have posted notes for my mom to see while sitting on the toilet...things like: Please do not flush wipes or poop bag down the toilet. Wash hands.
Simple things we take for granted.
Oh Pam, i so relate. I would get so annoyed, seemed like mitigating poop everywhere would be my fate for years to come, am sure the vexation made her feel bad. Now I'm praying to be humble & reassuring to her. So far so good.
My husband has Alzheimer's and Ulcerative colitis which makes it very stressful and I am 67 with chronic back pain and cleaning up him,the bathroom and washing his clothes is very difficult. His dr is trying to find a medicine that will help,Praise God.
I am trying my best to not put him in a nursing home.I don't want him to think I am abandoning him because he still knows me and what's happening around him!
Soooo tired!!! Nana
Nana, bless you! I so relate. Parents, in my case. EXHAUSTED.
Sometimes it helps to give them a cup of water while they're sitting there. Many times they don't drink enough throughout the day and it may help them go better on the schedule 👍 just be sure to cut it off before late in the evening.
Yes knowing their more regular times they need the toilet, and then getting their body use to using a schedule really helps with adults and potting training kids. You really know , and help with caregiving. It can be a lonely job. You mostly talk of in family care. I am a live in.
I cannot tell you how helpful your videos are. I’m sharing them with the family. Thank you kindly.
When there hospitals with toilets that are metal and cold and looks dirty doesn’t look inviting
Yes Dr Natale your tips of bathroom journey is very valuable. The suggestion of being ahead of toileting pattern and catch it before seems to be working. Thank you.
I have found the more you can schedule bathroom stuff, the easier... Used to have to BEG my wife to go pee. I am now using ALEXA to put out verbal reminders at set times during the day...Somehow she is less likely to resist the notion that it's bathroom time. Like an outside authority... When Alexa says it's time to go BOOM boom...we go....At first she was a bit reticent than "some woman" was telling her it was potty time..still doesn't know Alexa is a robot..
This is a perfect solution. Great job Alexa! PS The toilet seat needs to be shaped differently I think. Needs space for a backside and front side wash wand squirter.
Clever !!
I like that Alexander idea! I have a Google Home coming soon and wills set that up! Thanks! I work from home so that would help me out and her! :)
Sometimes it helps to turn the sink faucet on to help them get going…just make sure they’re positioned first, because the response can be instantaneous.
Hello I'm from Colombia. I'm learning english and your pronunciation is so clear and beautiful. In the other hand I'm going to offer helping to kids and adults with physical disables, this kind of information is very important for me.
It sounds like you have a wonderful service to offer. I wish you all the best of luck!
I appreciate this so much. I believe it popped up in my notifications due to the fact that my siblings and I have recently been discussing our MWD new bathroom habits. She's begun using chairs and sheets instead of going to the bathroom😞. I'm going to pass this along and see if it helps at all. Thank you for all you do!
My mom has been doing this as well. Actually sits on her bed like she’s on a toilet.. I feel your frustration!
In my personal case, at this moment, we expect to "graduate" my very frail body to a special motorized wheelchair. This allows all functions always to be done from this wheelchair: sleeping, washing, plumbing requirements, feeding, commuting (via wheelchair friendly vehicles), entertaining, shopping, visiting, etc.
The best of these motorized wheelchairs are relatively low cost, bulk produced devices. These allow carer control for demented or helpless clients, like myself. As my personal body ages, this device allows better use for my support staff, at this hospice, or the future hospitals, nursing home, medical appointments, shipping centers, etc.
Yes i am having issues with my mom not wanting to use the toliet, she will pee and poop in her pullups and just sit in it. Or she will miss her comode in her room and poop on the floor. This has been a nightmare for me. Her comode is right by her bed. She also says im going to faint while she is pooping and wants to lay down. She refuses to shower, even fired her bather, im blessed that i found your videos. My mom is really mean and very very hard to deal with.
I hear you. My mom's behaviors are not exactly the same, but she screams at us and calls us names and makes fun of us and tells me she hates me and to get out and refuses help and then poops while standing up and walks in it and on and on. It's a whole dementia thing, apparently.
@@hollymcentyre7715 awe I feel your pain. Yes my mom made a mess in her bed, the day before I cleaned and put washed blankets bedding, then she did this, I had to do laundry all over again
@@hollymcentyre7715 Oh the poor dear. She is beside herself when this happens and wonder she lashes out
@@daisyy99 you got that right. Thankfully we found better meds and ways to cope. Sadly now my mom is gone but at least she is free from that dreadful disease.
So true, going through all of this. Thank you for the information and for telling it so simply.
You are welcome. Sending you and your family all the best!
I'm very grateful for all of your tips and suggestions. It has helped so much. Thank you.
Thank you, I'm dealing with my wife that has early onset altziemers you patient explanations are very helpful
I dont know anyone with dementia but for some reason I feel like I should watch these even though I don’t need too.
I would like to add that passing gas is a good indication that the loved one might need to empty his or her bowels. Also, I had to remove all towels from the room, after spotting my husband wiping himself on one. I hung it outside the room, so it is available for handwashing after the pants are pulled up.
My Mom removes her socks and pants to wipe with.
You are such a blessing. You helped me so much.
Love your kindness and information ❤
My mother n law usually goes about 20-30 times between 7am and 9am. She’s usually in there 3-4 times at night too.
She also doesn’t see a need to wash her hands with soap.
We have a bedside commode but she won’t use it.
She uses pads but goes through about 10-20 pair of underwear a day.
My Mom often forgets to wash her hands or doesn’t want to because the water is too cold. I finally put hand sanitizer in the bathroom and I just squirt a small amount on her hands for her to use and then we call that good.🙂
Thank you for sharing. I hope your caregiving experience is better now. The dynamics described appeared extremely challenging.
I try to clean the bathroom at visits. I’ve really stepped back though and just spent more time with my dad.
I have been dealing with resistance from my husband on changing incontinence underwear especially before
bed, I thought I'd thought of everything, thanks for a new approach, ideas. Judy
Nursing homes often have situation where a common bathroom to be used for 2 or 4 residents. Family care helper - offput if non pleasant odor often encountered - making it more difficult to portray toileting - pleasant- non difficult. suggest mild time release odor control - and not succumbing to decreased facility maintenance / .
Thank you for your response. Your collected information is full of positive tips; especially emphasizing care of caregivers. Delegating time with others often helps with caregivers' respite care minutes/ or a few hours.
You are welcome!
Thank you so much. Doing the laundry alone is almost a fulltime job. My wife drinks a lot of water because of her medication she is on for hallucinations. She sometimes forgets or gets sidetracked when she is in the bathroom. She locks the door but I have another door from the master bedroom. So I can help is she is sitting down. I'm working on that smiley face thing.
You need to go get one of those porta-potties (Don't know the name), measure the legs to her sitting height and put it over the toilet./// I have exploding diarrhea that could happen at Any second (withOut my being able to control it And it was every 15 min. or so) and couldn't walk because I stopped eating. I ended up in two hospitals and Both were mad at me===they would Not let me out of bed because I would fall over, they were mad if I asked for a bedpan and there is No WAY I would Ever have the strength to get up from those/their low toilets (much Less get there). When they forever had to change the sheets, they yanked and pulled me around to make sure I knew just how mad they were. One said--I am So Sick and Tired of cleaning up after you. I cried a lot. Finding one of those raised potties was an Absolute God Send. //// THat is why I Love this site SOo Much:: what she says is So true./// Tim, keep up the Wonderful work and DO keep smiling (as you Are).....
Just found your channel. Good job!
Love the doggie paintings!
I am so happy to find you. Very helpful
Very helpful, thank you
Ty for your years of tips and dedication. Helpful!
Yes! For my Mom I have decorated her bathroom with white, light pink, roses, a hint of green and a softly textured rug with a thick rubber bottom. She enjoys gliding her feet side to side over the rug.
My mother-in-law is in a rehab facility for a broken ankle right now. Her short-term memory is all of a sudden really bad and so we are going to have her tested to see if she has Alzheimer’s or dementia. She is currently in pull-ups and having a hard time cleaning herself in the bathroom. My husband and I are trying to decide what to do on whether we put her in a home or bring her to live with us. She is 88 years old. I want to help take care of her, but I know the bathroom responsibilities will fall on me and I am not good with that. I am so bad around these things that I can’t even eat or drink in a hospital setting. I am trying to fix myself right now.
Yes it is I need to hold back my frustration though I try hard but will have to do more, but Some music in the bathroom time. Can you please tell me where I can get choir singing music for dementia thank you very much. You are truly an Angel in your body. God bless you
Great tips as usual. The different color idea is great, as well as music & not asking if they have to go.
Thanks so much!
Thank you for your information.
PEACE-OUT
Lots of good tips for "DEMENTIA" BUT DEMENTIA covers a large area. My wife has Lewy body dementia and she is fine wife going to the commode but she is not physically able to get to the commode, without a lot of assistance, even right next to the bed. It's too bad the word DEMENTIA is used alone but there is a big different between the kinds of DEMENTIA. I do appreciate your efforts, I'm sure you help a lot of people
Our issue is our loved one goes to into the bathroom VERY often and stays in there. She says she feels like she has to go. Checked for health issues and nothing. Maybe we should put a small decorative fountain in the bathroom to see if the sound of water will help her go? 🤷♀️
😊Thank you for all your very useful tips. Much appreciated .
This is really difficult. Technically my stepdad isn't incontinent, but he has accidents all the time. He can't walk, so I keep a urinal by his bed. Unfortunately, it's like he is forgetting WHERE to place urinal while peeing. Rather than putting penis inside urinal, he will place it an inch or so below his penis, so he sets his pants several times per day. If I try to explain it to him, he starts yelling at me. I honestly don't know what to do. He's actually thrown his full urinal across the room.
I put him in a diaper, but it didn't work. He pulls his diaper down and repeats above problem.
So exasperating, and my heart goes out to you. I know someone who went through something similar, with her father peeing on the sliding door or wherever he felt like, as well as pooping everywhere. Have you minimized the areas he can be in to contain the mess? You can try black rugs or runners to keep him out of areas. Patients think the black is a hole, so avoid it, or so I was told. Also putting a DO NOT ENTER sign on a door may keep them out of an area or from going outside. Hoping you have God to turn to for your anguish and for hope of a better future one day. Caregiving is very difficult. My friend lost her dad, but his life insurance covered the cost of new carpeting and some new furniture, which was a blessing since he'd destroyed it all. Hang in there and take a five minute break whenever you can to just collect yourself or scream into a pillow or cry or journal your frustrations. Blessings to you.
Do you ever have issues that a loved one does not want to move all day no matter what we try. My mother in law is 85 and the primary caregiver of my father-in-law. He wears diapers and will not move from his chair all day. He gets very angry and she cannot lift or keep asking nicely to get up and move to restroom or other location. He has also started to slide down his chair daily and cannot get up. He will just lay there until the ambulance comes to help her. Have you heard of this?
Tank you soooo much for sharing. I want to ask, what can i do to convince my mom to take a bath or wash her self? Thank you again for all your help, you are very kind :)
Such a toughie! Some caregivers have luck with trying to have a "spa day." Instead of a bath, they make a big deal about winning some sort of spa package. The light candles in the bathroom, have relaxing music, have a comfortable robe, etc.
If your mom is still able to accompany you on an outing (like going to a thrift store or a garden center), tell her she can’t go with you until she takes a shower/bath. Your mom might consider getting out of the house as a treat, and be more amenable to taking her bath.
Just tell her that you were in the grocery store the other day and noticed a funny smell, and a woman passed by you that stinked up the whole isle, then you tell her come mom let's bath I don't want you to get like her
Wonderful pictures behind you by the way.
Thank you! I painted those. Unfortunately, Roulette (the blonde dog) is no longer alive. Guinness is still doing well at age 14.
Careblazers: dementia care heroes - wow, you sure are talented!
It was at one of those paint studios that give you A LOT of help so I am not really that talented! They actually have a pencil drawing of the dog and then you paint. It was much fun!
Thanks SO much! Very very helpful.
One of the things dementia does is remove the signal from the bladder and bowel to let the LO know that they need to go. This is in the later stages, but does happen. All the tips can at best reduce the occurance of "accidents".
what a pleasant channel to happen across
Thankyou!
WOW, I just found you. You are awesome....
Thank you for perhaps the all time best support group to be found for caregivers dealing with dementia. I feel as though a prayer was answered when I stumbled upon your you tube channel tonight. I've got a problem with my mom's toileting habits. She seems to prefer wash clothes, towels, or any articles of clothing to wipe herself after a BM. And then hides them or jumbles them up somewhere later to be found. And even when she does use toilet paper, she doesn't put it in the toilet once dirty. I've purchased wipes and shown her how they can be used repeatedly. I'd appreciate any advice as to how best to avoid this most difficult problem.
My mom did this. It is gross, no way round it. The "good" thing is, it will soon get so bad someone will always have to be with her, in the bathroom which, being an anytime need, means 24/7. Don't "try out" a care facility. They are understaffed, patients are left in dirty diapers, & she'll lose all toileting skills. Took us a year to reteach my mom how to go to the bathroom...but she's late stage now so we just have to be with her there anyhow. Trying to use this as a spiritual practice...detachment, patience, humbleness....& non-prissiness, oh plus cheeriness...making a dent in these!
Maybe a toilet washing wand to clean the loved one's bottom area? I saw this advertised, it seemed gentler than a bidet.
Awesome soooo much thankyou . This is very helpful. P.ease keep uploading more videos i have a lobed one with vascular dementia is the care any different
What if the end of life dementia is bedridden and on the wheel chair.Thank you
Excellent advise.
So helpful, as always!
I'm having the exact opposite issue. My husband wants to use the bathroom to frequently.
If you haven't, I just found your channel, please talk about talking to them when they seem not to be there and hardly can verbally communicate anymore and/or are not coherent anymore. I like to talk to my mother normally. On one occasion, she "came back for minutes" and told me "a window opened'. Other people tell me not to bother. I disagree. It was awful through the pandemic closings.
Off the immediate subject but. Do you have any thoughts on family pets and dementia paitents. Its my girlfriend with dementia and my little pup loves her... is it ok to let them be together?
Can u suggest how to distract or how to handle when our loved one is missing their dog that has passed away? She waits up for it,leaves door unlocked or open so it can get in,thinks the neighbors stole it etc. Its heartbreaking and all day!!! Worse during sundowners! Thank you!!!
Hi thanks for all your tips ❤
Thank you.
All your tips r so helpful
Thank u
You have thought me so much. I don’t get upset like I use too now that I under stand. I’m careful how I answer him as well and it truly makes my job so muck easier. It is very hard sence I never had kids and 71 is not a good time to start.
Kids
What is the best odor masker that I can use to help? For myself that is.
Did you find a solution for that? My mother-in-law’s probably moving in with us and is having bathroom issues. I have such a terrible weak stomach.
My dad just keeps forgetting to lift up the toilet seat, I tell him if it's it's easier for him he can use my chamber pot in my bedroom. I have been sick from allergies alot and it causes lots of bathroom issues for me.
My mother in advance stage dementia is having to go every 15 to 20 minutes when she doesn't really have to, This is impossible to live with since she has limited mobility and weighs 90 kg. If a person is able to make the way to the toilet by themselves its manageable otherwise not.
I totally agree. There are so many variables that makes the expectation unrealistic for some caregivers.
UTI infection?
You could always by fitted nappy type underpants to wear at night....my husband doesn't use them yet but I bought them just in case..
Could you talk about activities dementia patient could possibly enjoy? We painted flower pots and that seemed to be enjoyable. Playing GO FISH was frustrating for her forcexcample
Here is a list of ideas for activities you can download :) careblazers.ck.page/be226018b2
I've done all of the above except the contrasting colors. has that worked for anyone? thanks for the info
If your loved one with dementia has an incontenance issue, wearing both day and night time adult diapers helps with the accidents. We had to resort to this with my mom for toileting issues as sometimes we didn't make it to the bathroom fast enough during the day and at night, she was wetting despite having reduced liquid intake and toileted before going to bed. Placing bed pads on bed also helps in having not to wash soiled sheets all the time.
constipation is something nobody wants to talk about. Many people can start getting impacted in as little as two days. The stool will become hard and round like a baseball and it gets stuck in there. It is very painful and the person will not be able to pass it through. many cannot tell the family what is going on. Impaction will need an Emergency Room visit. Keep them on a bowel regimen -- lactulose is very helpful -- start with just a teaspoon and see how that goes. It can take 16 hours to kick on. Keep a diary or at least write on the calander their last bowel movement. If they can still flush the toilet, use a toilet lock which you can get on amazon. It's a device to prevent children from flushing the toilet . You need to SEE when they had a bowel movement. If the person has kidney disease, do NOT give them fleet enemas or milk of magnesia because the phosphate salts or magnesium cannot be flushed out due to kidney disesae. Lactulose is entirely safe for kidney issues.
I KNOW THIS! LISten to THis Advice==Tomoko is Sooo Right....
Thankfully my dad has control of the bowels and will go to the toilet when the urge hits. He does have prune juice daily but just about 2 oz mixed in with OJ. Sounds odd but the flavor is actually ok as it's mostly OJ.
Would be interested in some of these videos but they are no good to me as; I need subtitles as I am deaf. Do you think you will be making sub titles available soon
Dilys Beynon I will look into subtitles and try to figure out how to add them to my videos. Thank you for your comment.
At the bottom of the youtube videos there is a gear for settings.You can turn on subtitles/cc here. Just tried it and it works.
Hi, Just press the "CC" at the bottom right of the video you are watching for the words.
Very helpful!
Glad it was helpful!
My husband's aim is terrible. I wrap the pads used for protecting bed sheets around the base of the toilets, saving me from endlessly cleaning the floor. Also use incontinence pants at night.
Thanks for the idea! I’ll go out and buy those pads!
@@annsloan4976 I cut them in half.
Yes, good idea. My dad doesn't really miss but that could change.
Personally I use urinal bottles, in the rooms at home. Otherwise napkins or disposables. My wife found it difficult with so many urine bottles, but it is easier than the alternatives.
My husband blames all bad things he does on a fake person. He lights handkerchiefs or one time a tissue . Yes I’m hiding all lighters:(. But always listening to someone else. My husband is a very social guy. I’m glad he’s not alone I guess. But this doing things that r bad and blaming is off the hook! Thank u
Even not going to the bathroom due to someone saying no! Or in there already 😟
Hardest part is every time I try to help gpa, he says things like I'm not helpless or I'm not dead yet or I don't need ur help and I don't want ur help. What then? Hes gonna be 75 tomorrow and he acts like he's 40 and he doesn't understand why no one will let him do things all by himself anymore 🙁
My loved one is a 56 year old woman with early onset Alz. I am her trigger so she will not listen to me and doesnt want my help with anything, much less the bathroom. She has gone downhill quickly, will shower with the carehelper but will not go to the restroom. Ends up having a couple of accidents daily.. Help
My 93 yr old mom has started pooping in the shower last week. She gets a shower 3 times a week with a shower aid. Last week when this happened the first time, we were hoping it was just a fluke, but today she did it again. What are some things that we can do? We have had to help her with her all her bathroom needs for almost 11 months. Help….
So far no major problems except my brother will use toilet paper and leave it on the sink counter. He refuses to put it in the toilet. I don't leave out wipes as he might flush those and they are not flushable. He also leaves up the seat (we share the bathroom) but I'm used to that. The problem is that he is not brushing his teeth or taking a shower and while I can remind him, and he will go in the bathroom, it's evident that he is not doing either tasks. How can I get him to keep himself cleaner without causing anxiety on his part? Suspect this is something that has been going on a long time.
My mother in law who has been living with us since May 2023 has accidents in the middle of the night with no memory of it at all. We either find her naked the next morning which signals us to look for the soiled clothing or she will take the wet clothes off, hid them and put other clothes on and has absolutely no memory of it at all. We moved her into the livingroom and added a bathroom so everything she needed was all in one room and hoping the accidents were her looking for the bathroom but even now with the bathroom feet from her she's having them. Any advice how to stop the night sleepwalking episodes and accidents she's having? It's very hard to find clothes and properly clean up after her when she's not aware of it at all. She'll ask whey we are cleaning or what the wet clothes were doing there?
How about loved ones constantly constipated and afraid to pass stools?
We so need help with this! My mom has 100% trauma around going to the toilet. She hates the room, she finds sitting down and standing up painful, having BMs distresses her. About 90% of our behavior problems, screaming, etc., are around her needing to poop, being in the middle of pooping, or trying not to poop. It's awful.
An other great video I just wish this had subs in Spanish to shared !
Thank you so much
She won't sit down
I can get my wife into the bathroom but can't figure out how to get her to sit on the toilet. Even if I'm holding her, I think she is afraid of falling.
That's a tough one... hope you worked it out...
I've seen a video of a helper getting a girl on and off a toilet. The girl had a fat belt, sort of like a sumo wrestler belt. The assistant used that belt to get the girl on and off.
Try a gait belt, she may feel more secure if she feels she is falling and you are holding her
Adding handrails to the toilet may give her more confidence, or position a walker (with the seat removed and the wheels locked )over the toilet.
We placed the bedside commode over the toilet. We removed the “bucket” and raised the legs so when my mother in law sits it isn’t such a far drop.