Trash bags under bath towels on EVERY chair. Portable bedside toilet to grab and throw behind them when they are hell bent to drop pants wherever they ought not. Exercise mat on carpet by the bed they stand and gravity pulls it out. There is Nothing good about caregiving toilet problems with mom advanced dementia. Dad peed down every floor vent. 6,500.00 a month is impossible. Toileting messes number one reason we give up and get destroyed financially thankful to hand them off to a nursing home with a team for the physical toll it takes and so they won’t die in your home and bodily fluids then destroy the last bit of what you tried to keep from destruction. Now I know why there are no carpets in nursing homes. I won’t describe the horrors of sundowning!
What do you do with a person who will flat out refuse to cooperate. I have tried everything to get her to change her depends, but she will wear them until the insides start falling out. I have had to physically remove them off of her while she is hitting me, biting me, etc. I only do this as a last resort when I know she's had a bowel movement and just wont change them. I worry about her developing sores or a UTI. She has always been difficult to deal with throughout her life and has always been her own worst enemy due to the fact that she would never ask for help to do something. She no longer realizes that I'm her daughter, so that helps a little. She is a narcissist and I was her favorite victim, but even in the hospital she gave the nurses a very difficult time, refusing to cooperate with them unless she got a male nurse. Any ideas that may help?
Thanks so much for your comment. Refusal of care is a very common dementia behavior. I will post a video this week about strategies to help in this situation. When the video is live, I will post the link here. Thanks again for watching and commenting.
My father just goes and fills up the diaper every time I’ve tried every brand and even larger sizes. It leaks out onto his clothes is there any brand that you know of that will hold the urine until it gets changed ? I am washing clothes and sheets 2 times daily and have even tried catheter’s both external and internal, he just rips them out even with mits tied on his hands.
Very much appreciate the tips! My question is how do you figure out if the patient with dementia has had a bowel movement? They quickly forget after they have gone so are no help. My mother is on the memory ward of a long term home but the nurses are not able to supervise her all the time. Your input would be great.
Hi Alex, this is a tricky question. There is no way to know unless the staff can physically check on her. Ideally, they should have her out in a common area where she is supervised. Depending on her abilities she may be unsupervised for short periods of time, but industry standard (even those not on memory care) is every two hours for wellness/safety checks. Your active involvement in asking questions and keeping in contact with the staff at the facility will go a long way toward your mom getting optimal care. Best wishes to you and your mom as you navigate this journey. Thanks for watching and commenting.
Thanks for the feedback. I realize the audio is not good on some of my older videos. I have upgraded to a new microphone and the audio is much better on recent videos. You can read my blog post on the same topic as the video here: kristengalloway.com/caregiver-strategies-for-incontinence-in-dementia
Great advice … we are in the process of getting into a routine
Trash bags under bath towels on EVERY chair. Portable bedside toilet to grab and throw behind them when they are hell bent to drop pants wherever they ought not. Exercise mat on carpet by the bed they stand and gravity pulls it out. There is Nothing good about caregiving toilet problems with mom advanced dementia. Dad peed down every floor vent. 6,500.00 a month is impossible. Toileting messes number one reason we give up and get destroyed financially thankful to hand them off to a nursing home with a team for the physical toll it takes and so they won’t die in your home and bodily fluids then destroy the last bit of what you tried to keep from destruction. Now I know why there are no carpets in nursing homes. I won’t describe the horrors of sundowning!
Thanks for chatting your strategies with our community. Great tips!
What do you do with a person who will flat out refuse to cooperate. I have tried everything to get her to change her depends, but she will wear them until the insides start falling out. I have had to physically remove them off of her while she is hitting me, biting me, etc. I only do this as a last resort when I know she's had a bowel movement and just wont change them. I worry about her developing sores or a UTI. She has always been difficult to deal with throughout her life and has always been her own worst enemy due to the fact that she would never ask for help to do something. She no longer realizes that I'm her daughter, so that helps a little. She is a narcissist and I was her favorite victim, but even in the hospital she gave the nurses a very difficult time, refusing to cooperate with them unless she got a male nurse. Any ideas that may help?
Thanks so much for your comment. Refusal of care is a very common dementia behavior. I will post a video this week about strategies to help in this situation. When the video is live, I will post the link here. Thanks again for watching and commenting.
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What to do when a person with dementia refuses care: 6 simple strategies
th-cam.com/video/jl7epOn_Gj0/w-d-xo.html
Sounds just like my dad, he no longer has the feeling and just lets it go.
My father just goes and fills up the diaper every time I’ve tried every brand and even larger sizes. It leaks out onto his clothes is there any brand that you know of that will hold the urine until it gets changed ? I am washing clothes and sheets 2 times daily and have even tried catheter’s both external and internal, he just rips them out even with mits tied on his hands.
Very much appreciate the tips! My question is how do you figure out if the patient with dementia has had a bowel movement? They quickly forget after they have gone so are no help. My mother is on the memory ward of a long term home but the nurses are not able to supervise her all the time. Your input would be great.
Hi Alex, this is a tricky question. There is no way to know unless the staff can physically check on her. Ideally, they should have her out in a common area where she is supervised. Depending on her abilities she may be unsupervised for short periods of time, but industry standard (even those not on memory care) is every two hours for wellness/safety checks. Your active involvement in asking questions and keeping in contact with the staff at the facility will go a long way toward your mom getting optimal care. Best wishes to you and your mom as you navigate this journey. Thanks for watching and commenting.
I cant hear you!
Thanks for the feedback. I realize the audio is not good on some of my older videos. I have upgraded to a new microphone and the audio is much better on recent videos. You can read my blog post on the same topic as the video here: kristengalloway.com/caregiver-strategies-for-incontinence-in-dementia