3 reasons you aren’t doing what you say you will do | Amanda Crowell | TEDxHarrisburg

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ม.ค. 2019
  • Amanda explores how to move beyond mindset-driven defensive failure and into productive failure to succeed at the problems you struggle with the most. Amanda Crowell is a cognitive psychologist, university professor at the Hunter College School of Education, speaker and coach. Dr. Crowell works with teachers, therapists, and mission-driven entrepreneurs to clear away mindset blocks and move into action. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

ความคิดเห็น • 1.1K

  • @lonilocoesque
    @lonilocoesque 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3477

    1. Afraid of failure
    2. You limit yourself with "identity"
    3. Secretly you don't want do it, you think you should do it

    • @mohammedmeriemi3730
      @mohammedmeriemi3730 3 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      You're a hero

    • @samansari4990
      @samansari4990 3 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      Thanks for saving my time

    • @C3theBowler
      @C3theBowler 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Thanks man😂

    • @tumi881
      @tumi881 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thank you

    • @giga_Lion
      @giga_Lion 3 ปีที่แล้ว +117

      You’re not going to get the same value if you just read this comment and don’t watch the full talk, don’t rob yourself

  • @annakolenkova7060
    @annakolenkova7060 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1928

    No joke, this might be the most important TED-talk of my life
    I recently realised that the reason I can't achieve my dreams for years, postponing even simple steps every single day because deep inside I'm so afraid of failure. And it is just an enormous relief to know it's not just my imagination or another excuse, but there actually people like me and I honestly feel like crying as I'm typing this. Thank you so much 😭

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 4 ปีที่แล้ว +67

      I am so honored that it helped you like that. Thanks so much for sharing!

    • @cowcowcowz4799
      @cowcowcowz4799 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@amandacrowell crying right now as well T ___ T

    • @veryconfused9768
      @veryconfused9768 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Same.i always thought and hated myself thinking it as excuse but others also suffer from it is my first time hearing

    • @MoonLight-lc8qg
      @MoonLight-lc8qg 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@l.w.paradis2108 I understood your comment, but I too was confused seeing the word “shepherd”. I think that’s what may have come across as rude,but I know you meant well:). Have a good day.

    • @l.w.paradis2108
      @l.w.paradis2108 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@MoonLight-lc8qg Okay. I give up.
      Actually, I do. My deadline to emigrate is 2025.

  • @Sunshine-yk2eg
    @Sunshine-yk2eg 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1910

    (For future reference)
    The 3 cognitive distortions :
    1) 2:57 "I just can't do it! I don't have what it takes"
    2) 5:50 "this is just not who I am"
    3) 10:22 "I should do this, I need to do this, *but eh I don't really want to do it though* I should do it"
    Solutions:
    1) remind yourself that it is okay to fail. Learn from the failures and just keep swimming. Effort >>
    2) find people who have the same values as you, and who found a way to make things work in a way that doesn't clash with those values. Find a way to do the things you wanna do in a way that aligns with and not clashes with your identity.
    3) find your "why", the real reason why you wanna do something. It should be an intrinsic motivation and not a just superficial and external one. Remind yourself of your why to stay motivated

  • @ja5304
    @ja5304 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2698

    These are the kind of talks I wished we had in high school

  • @virgilwardmedia
    @virgilwardmedia 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1340

    Instant gratification also plays a part here, too. When the end result seems too far away, people convince themselves they aren't meant for it so they look for a quick fix and then soon feel lost all over again. Speaking from experience here.

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Absolutely- I agree. We need to find ways through intrinsic interest to build some gratification into it. No one stays in a slog that stays a slog for very long. Great insight.

    • @karthickganesan6518
      @karthickganesan6518 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      True. But if the 'end result' is at least visible (like, it took 1700 experiments for Edison to light the bulb, but he made progress because he saw himself reaching there), it matters a lot to observe patience. If for some reason your day didn't deliver you on to the end goal, you can always see how it's is very much possible and that it is only a matter of time. You are now a step closer.

    • @helenadeboye9428
      @helenadeboye9428 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Preach brother

    • @sarangkim6373
      @sarangkim6373 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Before, your string of thoughts and actions would have been
      'I need to do this' -> Not actually doing it -> 'I really need to do this' -> Feeling stronger resistance -> 'I need to do this no matter what' -> Feeling self-remorse
      But through relaxation, your action patterns will change as the following:
      'I should do this' -> Not actually doing it -> Relaxation -> Feeling lower resistance
      In such a way, you break away from the pattern of increasing your level of resistance, and create an opportunity to at least begin the work you need to do.
      search youtube "paradox of I can do it"

    • @virgilwardmedia
      @virgilwardmedia 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@sarangkim6373 I absolutely love this!!

  • @xxmarsii_diiicexx5141
    @xxmarsii_diiicexx5141 3 ปีที่แล้ว +448

    This is me. For the last 14 years I’ve done NOTHING concerning my dreams. I have wasted my life feeling sorry for myself and living for other people. I am so tired of it I am at the point of taking all the risks to get where I want to be.

    • @zeehuss7275
      @zeehuss7275 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Oh my God are you writing about me...Every word fits my life..And the reason I'm a failure is I never loved myself never took care of myself, all my life spent for others, and that's what dooms you..

    • @Umi_luv
      @Umi_luv 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@zeehuss7275 omg it’s like you two are talking about MY LIFE 😧

    • @rakymajohnson9086
      @rakymajohnson9086 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      This is me now!!! Im 23 turning 24 in august i wish i had seen this 6-7 years ago but nobody is perfect

    • @abrahamrosales4786
      @abrahamrosales4786 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Go get them!

    • @mak_xx9456
      @mak_xx9456 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@rakymajohnson9086 same girl

  • @uwuovo9681
    @uwuovo9681 3 ปีที่แล้ว +375

    Fail is just an acronym
    F - irst
    A - ttempt
    I - n
    L - earning

    • @halcyon_echo42
      @halcyon_echo42 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Love that 💯

    • @nezuko4278
      @nezuko4278 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Failure is the stair to success

    • @jocelynnmariah2993
      @jocelynnmariah2993 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      This is adorable! Thank you so useful!

    • @howlong274
      @howlong274 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      First attempt in learning
      gotta keep that in mind

  • @guilhermecostacoimbra1205
    @guilhermecostacoimbra1205 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1730

    3 reasons you arent doing what u say you will do... Wow i really need this *save to watch latter*

  • @jameshutchins7042
    @jameshutchins7042 5 ปีที่แล้ว +690

    Excellent talk. Reason crowd seemed so quiet is bc most ppl don't like hearing the truth and she hit everything right on the head.

    • @lequochoan9315
      @lequochoan9315 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Would the Houston Rockets be better off without Russell Westbrook?

    • @kadenmccallum8432
      @kadenmccallum8432 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Or maybe they are a respectable crowd

    • @beatsg
      @beatsg 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I think it could have more to do with her beating about the bush

    • @ultralightcam6963
      @ultralightcam6963 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      AGREEED

    • @aurora_boketto7746
      @aurora_boketto7746 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Most ted talk crowds are quiet

  • @finiteinfinite6969
    @finiteinfinite6969 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1385

    Three main reason
    1.deep in our mind we think we can't do it. 2. People like us dont do this because we are highly identified with a false self identity. 3.secretly we don't want it.

    • @lovingatlanta
      @lovingatlanta 5 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      👍THANK YOU & BLESS YOU!!!!! 💞

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 5 ปีที่แล้ว +86

      @@willnicholson18 If you watch the last third of the video you'll see the stuff about the value mindset. In there, pay attention to the part about what to do if there's nothing you can do to be intrinsically interested- basically, spend some time with WHY you need to do the part you don't like. Then, when you have to sit down and do it, you can ground back into the part of you that really wants this, and stay out of the part that is doing it for extrinsic interest, which sounds like it might be part of what's tripping you up.

    • @octavioorozco1606
      @octavioorozco1606 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      thank you @@amandacrowell

    • @squeet6831
      @squeet6831 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I love people like you. I have about 250 videos based on psychology that I have put in a playlist and this cuts down the time it takes it to go through them significantly.

    • @rumor3298
      @rumor3298 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Every points are damn correct for me . I don't know what will I do in life ?

  • @jordynbabywoods
    @jordynbabywoods 2 ปีที่แล้ว +152

    I love her humor and her energy. Definitely needed to hear this.

  • @marycarylyaun4990
    @marycarylyaun4990 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    "At the heart of success is not talent. It's effort." 5:06

  • @bethanysheppard2662
    @bethanysheppard2662 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2730

    Wow wow tough crowd - this woman is funny af and no ones bitting

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 5 ปีที่แล้ว +440

      Thank you! I felt that way watching it, too, but there was more laughter in real life than comes through in the video, thank goodness. :)

    • @Sesso20
      @Sesso20 5 ปีที่แล้ว +78

      I have been thinking the same and am relieved, that people really did have fun. :)

    • @arakquinh9655
      @arakquinh9655 5 ปีที่แล้ว +64

      i love her personality😊🎆!

    • @Atrendia1
      @Atrendia1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +112

      Actually, I think they are silent because the message is penetrating them. They are totally engaged in self-reflection. That is super.

    • @hajarkaram6407
      @hajarkaram6407 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Totally
      😂💔

  • @anastasinscreed
    @anastasinscreed 5 ปีที่แล้ว +578

    Is audience alive? `~`
    The speaker is so funny and smart. Great talk!

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 5 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Thank you! I appreciate it!

    • @lisaahmari7199
      @lisaahmari7199 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Maybe it was a sparse Covid audience....of accountants and engineers!😅

    • @themelancholyofgay3543
      @themelancholyofgay3543 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      there is no audience mic

    • @chelbug34
      @chelbug34 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      You gotta know Harrisburg... I agree, Great talk Amanda

  • @felixsupreme22
    @felixsupreme22 5 ปีที่แล้ว +393

    This crowd. Were they summoned here for jury duty?

    • @JoudanJanaiHa
      @JoudanJanaiHa 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

    • @annak3573
      @annak3573 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      😝

    • @canwejustloveeachother2550
      @canwejustloveeachother2550 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! 😅😅😅

    • @caprisassgirl
      @caprisassgirl 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Lol

    • @mr.brain20yearsago20
      @mr.brain20yearsago20 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I thought about this. But when I read a comment from her that the audience were laughing but it didn't make it in the video

  • @bongpal6730
    @bongpal6730 3 ปีที่แล้ว +254

    Why we don’t do what we say we’ll do:
    1. We get lost, distracted, or addicted to what’s more “pleasurable” or “comfortable” than what is important
    2. We see “pain” in exerting the effort or we lack the energy required to do the important thing.
    3. We don’t care because its not killing us anyway...not yet.

    • @louissimonelli5351
      @louissimonelli5351 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Mama Mia! Between Amanda's video and Bong Pal's comments lie the pathway to success! That's if one is willing to apply the wisdom therein.

    • @blueeloop
      @blueeloop 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I still come back to this EVERY time :(

    • @zeehuss7275
      @zeehuss7275 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      No truer and wiser words were ever said..

    • @blueeloop
      @blueeloop 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Here am i....

    • @bongpal6730
      @bongpal6730 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@blueeloop we change once we “decide” to change. And ultimately we decide to change because of inspiration or “desperation.” In my experience, profound desperation is the more powerful emotion for change or action. All the best in your journey.

  • @ze7668
    @ze7668 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    "People like you don't do things like this.."
    This hits soo hard-😢

  • @joejocas8748
    @joejocas8748 5 ปีที่แล้ว +510

    Boi, TH-cam Algorithm knows what Ive been dealing with in my life

    • @sabrinalopez5597
      @sabrinalopez5597 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Joejo Cas right

    • @aryandivyanshu8324
      @aryandivyanshu8324 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Joejo Cas
      Not algorithm.
      Its the shared databases. They know everything about you.

    • @martinamoroney7164
      @martinamoroney7164 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      ennit tho!😮

    • @aminahshentour8002
      @aminahshentour8002 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      This is really funny, i swear i slept last night thinking his can i end my life cause i am so bad at everything.. and woke up woth netflix disconnected.. so i cant watch a show with my coffee.. i open youtube and there is this!!! Growth mind set!

    • @aparnaiyer7888
      @aparnaiyer7888 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Knows better than I know myself!

  • @melissaszarka5718
    @melissaszarka5718 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Action driven progress...life gets better.

  • @IndoonaOceans
    @IndoonaOceans 5 ปีที่แล้ว +399

    So the audience aren't good because: 1) Secretly they don't believe they can be a good audience 2) They don't think they are like people that can be a good audience 3)Being a good audience doesn't interest them enough, if they're honest

    • @zeehuss7275
      @zeehuss7275 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @ridhwan7255
      @ridhwan7255 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I see what you did there 😏👏🏾👏🏾

    • @twannawilliams255
      @twannawilliams255 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      HAHAHAHHA

  • @adventurepantsmcgee
    @adventurepantsmcgee 2 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    "We can be anything we want, if we get our head clear and we begin to take steps. And if you're doing those two things, nothing can stop you." 🔥

  • @faceitimright
    @faceitimright 5 ปีที่แล้ว +229

    The most empowering ted talk clear and well structured

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Thank you! I'm glad you found it empowering!!

    • @TMFe-ke1cf
      @TMFe-ke1cf 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      That is true!

    • @amanankele8990
      @amanankele8990 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@amandacrowell Sincerely the best and most rewarding

  • @MG-gu7fu
    @MG-gu7fu 5 ปีที่แล้ว +130

    This is spot-on.. I didn't even know I was doing this! My dream is to become a musical theatre actress and although I am taking singing lessons, I always stop myself and think that I don't have what is required and that I have too little experience. Maybe I should, instead of procrastinating and whining, go out and GET experience, despite my brain telling me to stay home

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Ginger Rose YES!!! You got this.

    • @ShamikaLMoore
      @ShamikaLMoore 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Community theatres are usually pretty welcoming. That'd be a great way to get experience. 🖤

  • @saymawaleh
    @saymawaleh 5 ปีที่แล้ว +87

    The candy crush joke was brilliant as was the rest of her talk. How was there not more laughter...?

  • @giuliamelilli5906
    @giuliamelilli5906 2 ปีที่แล้ว +94

    Thanks to Amanda Crowell for this inspiring talk. And also… for making me understand that “heart-centred, helper type, non competitive” people exist and can be successful in this world. Good luck to everybody who’s struggling.

  • @bubblebath2892
    @bubblebath2892 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    Its amazing how these 17 minutes have more valuable lessons than I would ever come across in my life

  • @pamponpan3376
    @pamponpan3376 5 ปีที่แล้ว +708

    Aren't those​ people​ kinda mean​ for​ not​ laughing? She's quite funny.

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 5 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      They were more engaged in real life, but it does seem pretty harsh on the video!

    • @treasure6883
      @treasure6883 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      She is funny, but I think the comedic timing is a bit off. Potentially to over practicing the talk.

    • @guilhermesobrinho1329
      @guilhermesobrinho1329 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      could be something with the mic.

    • @johntube7554
      @johntube7554 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I don't think she is funny at all. Though informative, all is old news. She is a coach so she is selling.

    • @allybrosia3725
      @allybrosia3725 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@johntube7554 Old news to whom? If you’re struggling it’s just what you need to hear.

  • @shivensaini3643
    @shivensaini3643 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    It is so satisfying to watch knowing that you are not alone. It's actually happens to everyone and it's perfectly normal.

  • @onceappuonatime
    @onceappuonatime 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Amanda, when you get to read this comment: Thank you for articulating the hidden intricacies that have been holding me back. Knowing that I am not the only one definitely helps. What is helping me even more is the realization of being defensive about my failure.

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thank you so much for sharing your reaction!

  • @nadinehesham3407
    @nadinehesham3407 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thank you so much for this talk. Inspiring

  • @fabianrenaldi4248
    @fabianrenaldi4248 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    this is the most important video that i've ever watch in my entire life
    thankyou very much for this, i really mean it
    thankyou

  • @jellian6827
    @jellian6827 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Watched this for the first time in the first week of january. I'll keep coming back every time I lose my motivation. This helps me a lot.
    2-02/21/22

  • @sfilkins2009
    @sfilkins2009 5 ปีที่แล้ว +82

    I waited 'til age 65 to exercise regularly at the gym (with a trainer....which costs). I knew that in 15 years I'd fall and break a hip if I didn't start. lol

  • @seliyoon
    @seliyoon 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    She read me without even seeing me. Great talk ! Really helped me.

  • @OlgaFilmes
    @OlgaFilmes 5 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    I got here with no expectations are at all and it turned out to be one of the best talks I've ever seen.

  • @BabyNami02
    @BabyNami02 2 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    This was a very good Ted talk. I always have struggled to keep up with goals. Now that I’ve gotten good advice I’m going to write down the steps I will take to accomplish my goals. I will allow myself to try what I want to do, and not be afraid of failure. I will take it as an opportunity to grow and learn from it. I will not do things that other people do just to be cool. I will do what I find interesting and socialize with people that have similar interests and have done things that I would like to learn how to do. I will think about the reason why I want to do these goals. Is it for people to admire me? Or is it because I have a dream of doing this and I’m very interested in it. I will take time to research my interests, and if I’m not very interested for the right reasons, I will just not do it.

  • @brinmcclory2129
    @brinmcclory2129 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    “To the ones who are there for me & who always have my back…… everything you are to me is everything I lack.” - BM
    TeamWork and finding the right ones to surround yourself with is major also because misery loves company and they’ll continue to feed your appetite of self gratification with false hope and accomplishments. Keep striving for greatness & stop settling for less than you deserve.

  • @livishtv
    @livishtv 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Just oration wise she is my favorite ever ted speaker!!!

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you! I appreciate that.

  • @wonderlandofnishreen8103
    @wonderlandofnishreen8103 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Wonderful speech. Thank you 🎉

  • @DrMusicStarr
    @DrMusicStarr 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Amanda Crowell, that was a great talk. Thank you. Sorry your audience was so flat.
    I've been having issues with procrastination, even though I've been an achiever...PhD scientist and composer, and a seeker of what is this life. My hunch is that grief, as well as your 3 potent points, is at the heart. I am going to focus on what you taught.
    Also,
    I've been geeking out on a wonderful podcast series by Stanford neurobiologist prof, Andrew Huberman. He spoke of the mindset research also

  • @anmolbehal1941
    @anmolbehal1941 4 ปีที่แล้ว +119

    just loved her attitude and confidence 👏👏 well done girl 👍

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Anmol Behal thank you!!!!

    • @dannyhill5666
      @dannyhill5666 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Instant gratification also plays a part here, too. When the end result seems too far away, people convince themselves they aren't meant for it so they look for a quick fix and then soon feel lost all over again. Speaking from experience here.

  • @edimohammadbasam2790
    @edimohammadbasam2790 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I appreciate with whole my heart the person who funded Tedx talk. I have learned so many things through this stage. The people who deliver speeches the deliver the nectar of their experiences. I am so glad we have tedx talks in TH-cam.

  • @bluebutterflywellness2273
    @bluebutterflywellness2273 5 ปีที่แล้ว +492

    Dang! Who's in this crowd?? Are they even breathing?😐 Good talk!

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 5 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Thank you!

    • @rahulsukheja7805
      @rahulsukheja7805 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@amandacrowell I think that's the sign of a great speaker that your crowd is soo much into your talk that they do not want to miss a second of it talking to anyone else. Really great talk.

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@rahulsukheja7805 Thank you so much!

    • @samconner4016
      @samconner4016 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Boi, TH-cam Algorithm knows what Ive been dealing with in my life

  • @JulieChanDoitsu
    @JulieChanDoitsu 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Once you have successfully managed to overcome these cognitive distorsions, something interesting happens to you.
    When you go off the beaten track and know deep in your gut that it's the right way to go, you will have to face criticism from people who claim to know better than you.
    Well, never ever listen to those who say you can not do it. Do what your heart says is right. Some people desperately want others to fail to feel better about themselves. You are not the problem, they are. You don't owe them anything.
    Instead, you should embrace your uniqueness and reach the dreams that you so desperately want to reach because you DESERVE to live a happy life. Always remember that we were born here on Earth to feel joy.
    Yes, the grind can be strenuous but your future self is there already thanking you for all the efforts you've put into reaching your goals. And I along many other people will be there, standing in awe over what you have accomplished to change your life for the better.

  • @iguacu3517
    @iguacu3517 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    1. Shift your mindset from, "belief that some people have it and you don't," to "your rookie mistakes are just sign paths on the way to success."
    2. Shift your mindset from, "People like you (i.e. your identity) don't do things like this," (and therefore you push hard against such behavior), to finding people who do things you want to do and mimmick them.
    3. Shift your mindset from, "secretly you don't want to do it, you just think you SHOULD do it because the people you emulate to do it," to drawing a straight bright-line from your long-term dreams (e.g. buying a house, sitting with your children by a crackling fire) to the desired behavior instead of motivation such as becoming a wealthy, admired, 'cool' person.
    **If the work you want to do is hard, there WILL be urges in the moment to quit, and it is INTRINSIC INTEREST that keeps you focused on the actions you need to take. You have to build out the INTRINSIC INTEREST.**

  • @ammaraasghar8264
    @ammaraasghar8264 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    One of the best talks I've ever listened to!

  • @pocketpangolin
    @pocketpangolin 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I think these things a lot. It holds me back. The fear of failure or that it isn't me or isn't meant for me is just all in the mind. Why do we do these things to hold ourselves back? Little by little, we could be anywhere we wanted just by taking the simple steps and allowing ourselves to fail and to learn and to grow.

  • @lynbautista6341
    @lynbautista6341 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Exactly what I need today. It talks the reality of me.

  • @richardyeo4019
    @richardyeo4019 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Amanda Crowell... YOU ROCK!! I have now looked for and found my intrinsic interest. Thank you 👍🏼 😊

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Great!! I’m glad it helped you

  • @mariantdm
    @mariantdm 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I watched this because I am keep saying that I will learn programming, tomorrow - next week - next weekend - next holiday and so on.
    I will write all the reasons why I want to learn programming and remind myself all the time when I need to.
    Thank you.

  • @rockergirl6926
    @rockergirl6926 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    At this very moment, after watching this, I want to put the steps in place and start on the right path to realize my intrinsic true life fulfilling purpose HOWEVER there are so many layers (one example, every day life in 2021 living pandemic/endemic life) between clear thinking and reaching into your weary head on what you value and care for most in the world, becomes so daunting you stay paralyzed and watch videos on how to. I need a how to, how to, video.

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I just wrote the companion book, so I hope it will help! It's coming this Spring. 💙

    • @rockergirl6926
      @rockergirl6926 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@amandacrowell That's great! I'll def check it out!

  • @tuna1717
    @tuna1717 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    this is now my favorite ted-talk. sometimes i have dreams, sometimes none. it's confusing when you don't have a strong grip of who you actually are and who you actually want to be. because you often mistook it for who people expect you to be.

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes! It takes practice to learn to hear your own truth and then believe what you hear

    • @tuna1717
      @tuna1717 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@amandacrowellomg it's an honor!! but yes indeed! i started assuring myself that "as long as i believe in myself", i can make through whatever. of course i still am hesitant and anxious from time to time but ted talks and their wise speakers such as you really do help people (especially me) arrange their perspectives in a better lighting. so thank you sincerely.
      i am just a stranger but i am rooting for you and everyone else in their own journey. Fighting!

  • @__-nc3bh
    @__-nc3bh 5 ปีที่แล้ว +91

    U better write a book soon coz ur words can change lots of what we perceive as human@

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Lunatic Phantom THANK YOU.

  • @piopeloniajr.9735
    @piopeloniajr.9735 5 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    I keep on nodding the whole time while listening to her. Seriously, i will watch this over and over again esp when i feel like taking the defensive failure path again

    • @ejaws1720
      @ejaws1720 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Is defensive failure really laziness?

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@ejaws1720 No, it's not! In fact, calling it laziness is how we overwhelm ourselves so we don't have to take action.

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thank you! I'm glad it was helpful!

  • @audreyshuler5701
    @audreyshuler5701 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I appreciate this talk because not only does she shed light on the reasons for our defensive failure, but offers the alternative mindsets that lead to success. At the end of the video, I'm not left wondering, "What am I going to do about it?"

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I’m so glad it resonated with you!

  • @daustin14441
    @daustin14441 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    This talk hits the nail on the head for me👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽. Now, let me trade in defensive failure for active, action oriented failure😀😀 with a smidgen of progress thrown in over time!!!

  • @christinemccluskey4022
    @christinemccluskey4022 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    One reason I found social media such as TH-cam and Instagram to be useful is that it exposed me to examples of success in fields I’m interested in who look like me or had similar circumstances to me which would’ve been hard to find otherwise in my small town and small circle of friends.

  • @lechelle51
    @lechelle51 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I wish I could give this a million thumbs up. Hands down the best Ted Talk I've ever heard. Thank you!

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell ปีที่แล้ว

      I feel all of them! Thank you!

  • @monskie1111
    @monskie1111 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is the best Ted Talk I've listened to.

  • @acramish
    @acramish 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    The three situations she mentioned: exercising, networking and budgetting, are exactly the things I kept telling myself I'd do. Haha

  • @Kulwinderkaur-gc9yt
    @Kulwinderkaur-gc9yt 5 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    One of the reasons that we are lazy we don't want to take initiative for any positive change. Perhaps it is deep rooted habit of our mind. Secondly we are not clear in our mind. What to do. Thirds may be we wish to many things to be done at no cost of time and hard work. It maybe in my opinion. 🙏💕

    • @BiancaAguglia
      @BiancaAguglia 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I agree. Also, we realize that good habits take a lot of work (running is harder than sitting on the couch and watching TV 😁) so, even if we can get pumped up to go for a run today, subconsciously we already look for ways to avoid future effort. It's how our brains are wired. We are creatures of comfort.
      One solution to that self-sabotage is to attach a very strong meaning to your goal.

    • @Kiky812
      @Kiky812 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I thought these were the things she was gonna say... 😊

  • @lusineyeghiazarayan8309
    @lusineyeghiazarayan8309 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    If you believe it you can do it.
    Believe you can and you are half way there😌💪💪💪👍
    This woman's talk is very strong and she is very funny thats why I want to watch this talk every day.

  • @kpopismyhappyplace_love
    @kpopismyhappyplace_love 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This Ted Talk is really great. And If I start doing what I wanted to do from years, I'll come back here.

  • @macancela
    @macancela 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    One of the BEST Ted Talks! Just WOW!!

  • @khanhan6564
    @khanhan6564 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Doing things badly in the first few times and then witnessing yourself making progress are always much more exciting than doing it right in the first place

  • @nurulainamirrudin8118
    @nurulainamirrudin8118 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Watching this at 5.00 and about to cry. This is me right now. I want to change mindset and my life

  • @JJ-zy3zv
    @JJ-zy3zv ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Brilliant TED Talk. thank you for sharing.

  • @askdrportia
    @askdrportia 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Your talk hits the nail on the head for me in regards to motivation. It is worth of listening multiple times!

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thank you so much!! I so appreciate that!

  • @droidaimone
    @droidaimone 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Truly a lot of the Tedx talks have been so much better than the actual Ted talks lately. Good vod!

  • @kyasonfire
    @kyasonfire 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is the bestest n the most important TEDx talks I've ever seen.

  • @vanianavarro1684
    @vanianavarro1684 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This was such I a good Ted talk, it made me realize my wrongs and change them into learning steps to conquer myself and drive myself to do what I want.

  • @shubhampipada3130
    @shubhampipada3130 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    One of the best, eye opening, amazing talk I heard and loved and was engaged throughout in listening!

  • @aurielcastro9903
    @aurielcastro9903 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I believe in myself but I am easily distracted. I can push myself physically but mentally I rather just do what's easy. Thank you for this, today I will post another TH-cam video.

  • @edwardfarres941
    @edwardfarres941 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    such a great speaker!👏👏

  • @nicolelombardi4512
    @nicolelombardi4512 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The Ted Talk I needed... thank you, Professor! I'll watch it on loop.

  • @Thisislawstudy
    @Thisislawstudy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The talk that reveals the actual reasons why we procrastinate or avoid doing things that are important for our GROWTH. This is one of the best TED Talks I have watched. I can't thank her and TED enough for bringing this to me... This is exactly what I needed to cure myself of procrastination... I am so grateful to TED and Amanda Crowell

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I'm so glad it resonated!

  • @paulkim6692
    @paulkim6692 5 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    Great talk. Audience really is tough on her. Though, she rock it like true professional!

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      thank you!

    • @ForevaABBIEx3
      @ForevaABBIEx3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I think it's her humor. Perhaps it's not her audience's humor

  • @bstew2259
    @bstew2259 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I don’t WANT to be a lawyer but I think that I should want to and it is important to my future.

  • @nix3435
    @nix3435 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you so much for this. I related to a lot in here, and I’ve been in a constant cycle of not being motivated enough to accomplish my goals. This gave me a lot of closure. I appreciate you.

  • @kendradaringgreatly6411
    @kendradaringgreatly6411 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    This was so great! I took two pages of notes. I'm in grad school and that's more notes than I take in some 3 hour lectures! So much great, well-researched, practical advice. Thank you!

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you! I'm so glad it resonated with you!

    • @DinahRapydz
      @DinahRapydz 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Can you share your notes? Haha

  • @marijanamaric9763
    @marijanamaric9763 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Great speech! I really enjoy listening to TED talks. There are many inspirational stories and amazing ideas that are applicable. Thank you guys for sharing that with us! :)

  • @shreyajain2931
    @shreyajain2931 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This TED-talk was an eye-opener for me.

  • @suzanaasg
    @suzanaasg 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    She definetely deserved a better audience! Such an inspiring and motivating lecture, it really touched me!

  • @harshrana3518
    @harshrana3518 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    1 defensive failure, Carol dweck growth mindset
    2 identity fracturing, Erik Erickson
    Do identity cohesion
    3 no intrinsic value

  • @cwasonfauna
    @cwasonfauna 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    An Amazing talk! The humor feels inauthentic but her words convey her message very clearly. This talk prompted me to look within myself and reflect on the half truths I've been convincing myself of. Also those hand motions are the most articulate I've ever seen. Bravo!

  • @reddot01
    @reddot01 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    She is so right 💯

  • @karthickganesan6518
    @karthickganesan6518 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    All who are blaming the audience (oddly 10 - 15 people) for being silent - this is most likely a post-lunch session and the hall as shown @ 5:56 is sufficiently dark to set in a drowsy mood. At least, the video got us, the virtual audience, to see & listen to this very good speaker on our own ambiance.

  • @self_learning_guide
    @self_learning_guide 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    she is so brave and has a powerful personality,
    I guess this is a unique type of beauty.

  • @Amoha444
    @Amoha444 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This might help "If the work you want to do is hard, there will be urges in the moment to quit And it is intrinsic interest that keeps you focused on the steps you need to take!🙌🏻

  • @UGD16
    @UGD16 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for sharing your hard-won lessons with us. It resonated powerfully with me. I hope all those struggling with one or all of these mindset blocks may take one step toward the person you want to be.

  • @just4katzen
    @just4katzen ปีที่แล้ว +1

    one of the best ted talks ive seen

  • @shafikabrahams9786
    @shafikabrahams9786 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Best talk I've listened to so far. I found it very applicable

  • @joshiabirdb
    @joshiabirdb 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Hands down the best talk I have ever listened to and was so so so so much relatable.

  • @pharmclare
    @pharmclare ปีที่แล้ว +1

    True insights especially about intrinsic interest. Thanks for sharing

  • @creysan2495
    @creysan2495 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is what I'm doing rn. Thank you for letting me know what it is. This is a good talk. Hope a lot more people would find this.

  • @aivelu2737
    @aivelu2737 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The best Ted talk i ever watched !!
    She answered a lot of my questions which helped a lot

  • @lesleyhubble2976
    @lesleyhubble2976 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This is just what I needed to hear, right down to the running. I’ve started running but keep stopping, because I keep telling myself what’s the point I’m no good. So true in many areas of life

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yes! Now you can tell yourself, the point is that "I'm not good yet, but I'm better than yesterday!" And just keep going. I'm glad it helped.

  • @timiolowookere
    @timiolowookere 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is beautiful. Thank you!

  • @HDloly
    @HDloly 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thanks for teaching people the rigth way to fail. Let the failure be your path to success. Let's fail with grace if needed be! Productive, insight-filled failures, that corrects our path and push us foward!

    • @amandacrowell
      @amandacrowell 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I’m so glad it resonated with you!

  • @aminatalussoTV
    @aminatalussoTV 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    This quite informative and you did a great job bringing the reasons people don't go far with the things they really wish to do.Well done!!