A SHARK WORSE THAN JAWS???

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 31 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 1.4K

  • @Tom5TomEntertainment
    @Tom5TomEntertainment 3 ปีที่แล้ว +745

    But Jaws was the name of the doctor. The shark's name was Jaws' Monster

    • @redwolfe7049
      @redwolfe7049 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Such an underrated comment.

    • @projectmayhem6898
      @projectmayhem6898 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Fun Fact: In The Island of Dr. Moreau, the island is the real villain.

    • @dutchmasteret
      @dutchmasteret 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Actually Jaw's name was Bruce

    • @projectmayhem6898
      @projectmayhem6898 3 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      @@dutchmasteret Nobody ever bothered to ask the shark what his name was. That's the real tragedy of the tale. Monsters aren't born that way. They become that way after years of human rudeness.

    • @leannerose6181
      @leannerose6181 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Best comment ever,my dude 😂😂

  • @williampritchett6382
    @williampritchett6382 3 ปีที่แล้ว +606

    It's shocking this channel doesn't have a million subs. Mark's one of the most underrated creators on TH-cam.

    • @redwolfe7049
      @redwolfe7049 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      I agree. Mark is consistently good.

    • @williampritchett6382
      @williampritchett6382 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@redwolfe7049 right? I find myself rewatching videos.

    • @Jason-uw9ex
      @Jason-uw9ex 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Me too

    • @williampritchett6382
      @williampritchett6382 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@user-gd2ys5tu8d for me, samurai cop or the neil Breen movies are the best. I probably watched samurai cop videos the most.

    • @jonniez5919
      @jonniez5919 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Facts

  • @InkMasterBator
    @InkMasterBator 3 ปีที่แล้ว +546

    Cruel Jaws is only lashing out because he desperately wishes to be loved. Sequel idea, Cruel Jaws gets hitched in Jaws In-laws

    • @CedarGoat
      @CedarGoat 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Then we can make Cruel Jaws goes Bananas in Hawaii

    • @MikeSmith-bn1qr
      @MikeSmith-bn1qr 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      And of course Samuel L. Jackson must be cast in it as well.

    • @InkMasterBator
      @InkMasterBator 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@MikeSmith-bn1qr that's the thing, Samuel L Jackson IS Cruel Jaws

    • @Cooleepable
      @Cooleepable 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Make it a trilogy. In the third movie, Cruel Jaws becomes a corporate lawyer in Jaws Bylaws.

    • @mDeltaKilo
      @mDeltaKilo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Falls for a clingy eel...
      Cruel Jaws 2: Electric Bugaboo

  • @billythepigeon7345
    @billythepigeon7345 3 ปีที่แล้ว +414

    There are fewer sharks in the water these days because so many of them got caught up in tornadoes a little while back, I think there was a documentary about it.

    • @FilmGuy7000
      @FilmGuy7000 3 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      I don't know. They keep making additions to that documentary. I don't think they care about the message anymore. :(

    • @triggeredcat120
      @triggeredcat120 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      It’s not a documentary, it’s an ANIME.

    • @jazziejazzay7117
      @jazziejazzay7117 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I love all of your comments ! 🤣

    • @idye4u
      @idye4u 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      It's a 5-part series. Very well done

    • @ethericboy
      @ethericboy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      NO its because movies like Jaws had a devastating effect on shark populations for years and don`t you forget it!

  • @leonnardosilvadarosa4968
    @leonnardosilvadarosa4968 3 ปีที่แล้ว +194

    just to look at the emotes

    • @virg0_lem0nade
      @virg0_lem0nade 3 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      that Breen smile.... priceless

    • @Paul-qe1jn
      @Paul-qe1jn 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      How

    • @michaelrivera8360
      @michaelrivera8360 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@Paul-qe1jn youtube membership

    • @The-Man-On-The-Mountain
      @The-Man-On-The-Mountain 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I would like t shirts with them.

    • @Tat2Dragons
      @Tat2Dragons 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@The-Man-On-The-Mountain You couldn’t handle shirts with them. 😁

  • @guthax30
    @guthax30 3 ปีที่แล้ว +167

    The transition from the smiling handicapped girl swimming to her father talking about losing her smile was pretty awesome script writing.

    • @mr79843
      @mr79843 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Also on the little girl, wasn't she unable to use her legs? Isn't that why she's in the wheelchair? When they pull her outta the water and the other girls gets eaten she clearly uses her legs. Couldn't have done another take where she left her legs limp? This movie is so awesomely dumb!

    • @FanboyFlicks
      @FanboyFlicks  3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      @Heavy Metal Collector hahahahah

    • @guthax30
      @guthax30 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@FanboyFlicks Thanks for the videos, Mark. ✌️

    • @D_Rogers
      @D_Rogers 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      She's clearly a faker too, I saw her kicking her legs underwater when she thought we couldn't see! ;)
      I think his wife is still alive too, she just took the chance to flee during the accident..
      People just like messing with the guy..

  • @FanboyFlicks
    @FanboyFlicks  3 ปีที่แล้ว +200

    vanessa needs to chill tf out and try some of those cheddar biscuits

    • @batman_overlord
      @batman_overlord 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Mark, where do you buy your shirts? They are all pretty cool. Years ago I bought from Tshirtbordello.com but they went out of business 😔

    • @FanboyFlicks
      @FanboyFlicks  3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@batman_overlord check out Redbubble.com

    • @AndAllTheWhileAnimalsSuffer
      @AndAllTheWhileAnimalsSuffer 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Redbubble is great, I buy pretty much all my clothes there. A LOT of movie nd gaming shirts and hoodies.

    • @kenrickkahn
      @kenrickkahn 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I always wanted to know one thing.. Do You speak Canadian French?

    • @cwhitney1972
      @cwhitney1972 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@FanboyFlicks I would love to know how many people purchased the Neil Breen in Twisted Pair Miniskirt.

  • @transposestudios
    @transposestudios 3 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    "Don't sneak up on me like that, I thought you were a shark" will be the line I use this week most often... ty for that :)

    • @Reverend_Nada
      @Reverend_Nada 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Coincidence... I came across this comment at the same time it came up in the video

    • @serpentstruth
      @serpentstruth 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Haha! Yes!

  • @SirLolcat
    @SirLolcat 3 ปีที่แล้ว +137

    Gotta say mark I didn't notice that wasn't a real diving suit until you pointed it out. Good job.

    • @FanboyFlicks
      @FanboyFlicks  3 ปีที่แล้ว +57

      When I was writing the joke I was like “how am I going to do this without a diving suit?”, then I saw my Costco jacket in my closet and knew it was perfect

    • @SirLolcat
      @SirLolcat 3 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      @@FanboyFlicks still better costume quality than 90% of the movies you review tho.

    • @breakingames7772
      @breakingames7772 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@FanboyFlicks if you ever do use those goggles rubbing saliva inside really does prevent them from fogging up, soap works too, same with the mirror in your bathroom, rub a bar of soap on it and your shower will no longer fog the mirror. I learned that from "you can't do that on television"....growing up in Detroit we got a lot of Canadian shows like Mr dress up, today's special, polkadot door ECT

    • @Morboeatspeople
      @Morboeatspeople 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@breakingames7772 So many good YCDToT memories...

    • @markiangooley
      @markiangooley ปีที่แล้ว

      @@breakingames7772 I had a crush on Christine of YCDToT and watched the show though I was too old for it, feeling like a dirty old man. Years later I found that Christine is 25 months younger than I am… yeah, disgusting of me…

  • @fiery_scream
    @fiery_scream 3 ปีที่แล้ว +148

    "It's not like the shark is sneaking into people's houses with a silenced 9 mil" that line paired with that stock image fucking KILLED me. even after 10 yrs, Mark never fails to make me cry-laugh.

    • @redwolfe7049
      @redwolfe7049 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I agree. Mark is the best.

    • @ManDuderGuy
      @ManDuderGuy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Cruel Life Hack:
      If you want to truly "silence" a 9mm Luger then you'll need to bring its velocity down below Mach 1 so there is no "sonic boom". So use a larger/heavier bullet, typically 147-150 grain.

    • @scotthewitt258
      @scotthewitt258 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      "Who's there?"
      "Land shark."

    • @thenitpickchannel9993
      @thenitpickchannel9993 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@ManDuderGuy Thanks this really helped me out.

    • @dubuyajay9964
      @dubuyajay9964 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Back when SNL was still good.

  • @pothatuu
    @pothatuu 3 ปีที่แล้ว +113

    The most baffling part about this movie is that it came out in 1995. It looks like it came out in 1983...

    • @gaywizard2000
      @gaywizard2000 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Right! I looked it up because it's hard to place!

    • @evangelinewood3325
      @evangelinewood3325 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Holy crap, really? I thought it was definitely late 70s, early 80s. No way this came after Jurassic Park.
      Edit: I googled it and it's still hard to process

    • @Rebrn-bk5em
      @Rebrn-bk5em 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      the dude holding the girls wheel chair screams 90s

  • @Missoudabeh
    @Missoudabeh 3 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    That "Dick brain " scene was so embarrassing the hair on the back of my neck stood up

  • @redwolfe7049
    @redwolfe7049 3 ปีที่แล้ว +120

    Imagine how boring the movie Cruel Intentions would've been without the Cruel.

    • @thagrumbus5673
      @thagrumbus5673 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It would have been mind numbingly boring without Sarah Michelle Gellar and Reese Witherspoon making out through most of it Selma Blair in her underwear also played a big part in making it watchable

  • @daviddenis4178
    @daviddenis4178 3 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    Kinda shocked when I googled this and found out it came out in 1995! I thought this was like 1982 at the most.

    • @dunique26
      @dunique26 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      WHA😲
      You must b joking🤦🏾‍♀

    • @robertodell9193
      @robertodell9193 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I guessed 1985.

    • @peposo7
      @peposo7 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      There was footage from an 1981 movie called THE LAST SHARK.

    • @454brianbat
      @454brianbat 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Obviously, this "movie" sat on some shelves for a while. Gee I wonder why? ROTFL

    • @gaywizard2000
      @gaywizard2000 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Me too!

  • @zmajodnocaja5088
    @zmajodnocaja5088 3 ปีที่แล้ว +192

    This jaws is cruel, as opposed to Jaws 1-4, who was more on the tender side.

    • @admech590
      @admech590 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      The fact there more than one Jaws movie, indicates Hollywood has, and always will be evil beyond measure.

    • @axelnilsson5124
      @axelnilsson5124 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@admech590 not evil, greedy and stupid

    • @breakingames7772
      @breakingames7772 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Well we know sharks are a sort of locomotive with mouth full of butchers knives, all they know to do is swim, eat and make baby sharks

    • @peposo7
      @peposo7 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      The one in 3-D. That one killed less, even seemed bored...

    • @joshDammmit
      @joshDammmit 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      sensitive jaws, but because he had an impacted molar

  • @jeremiahalexander5513
    @jeremiahalexander5513 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    When the girl in the wheelchair was being rescued after she flew off the pier, her legs were kicking the whole time. Must be something in the water😂

  • @GrandDaddyCough
    @GrandDaddyCough 3 ปีที่แล้ว +67

    Fun fact: The movie "Cruel" (2014) got their name from this movie

  • @TheVoojooze
    @TheVoojooze 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    "Mom, can we get Jaws?"
    "No, we have Jaws at home."
    *Jaws at home:*

  • @tsarstepan
    @tsarstepan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +113

    Clearly, the shark died from a sympathetic wound when the sunken ship was blown up by the bomb. That's science.

    • @jakev3453
      @jakev3453 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thank you Stephen

    • @GoatPopsicle
      @GoatPopsicle 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Broken heart syndrome?

    • @breakingames7772
      @breakingames7772 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      You sure the wound wasn't it's balls ripped off and turned into earrings like those Sorensens we're mentioning doing to billy

  • @Accidental.Creation
    @Accidental.Creation 3 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    The "acting" in the scene where they burned themselfes ... oh my god, this movie rocks 10/10 xD

  • @dragonskunkstudio7582
    @dragonskunkstudio7582 3 ปีที่แล้ว +114

    I love Cruel Movies With Mark.

    • @arcrides6841
      @arcrides6841 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @Krisozz22
    @Krisozz22 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    19:47 : and modern medicine realised that it only takes a near fatal shark attack to give you back the use of your legs

    • @jakobole
      @jakobole 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      We need to throw more paralyzed people into shark-infested waters clearly.

  • @SonnyGTA
    @SonnyGTA 3 ปีที่แล้ว +61

    Squint: We are going to need a larger ship.

    • @12345.......
      @12345....... 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Does squint have a Welsh accent? :)

  • @cloudoftime
    @cloudoftime ปีที่แล้ว +3

    And that quote with the "locomotive" that "swims, eats, and makes baby sharks" is essentially directly lifted from Jaws:
    Hooper: "Mr. Vaughn, what we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks, and that's all."

  • @TheVoojooze
    @TheVoojooze 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    20:27 "Mark My Words" should be the name of your personal advice segment.

  • @SignorSpielbergo303
    @SignorSpielbergo303 3 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    Seems like Billy the Close Talker's entire role in this movie is to say quotes from Jaws but slightly altered to be significantly worse

  • @xel1673
    @xel1673 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    Maybe it's just me, but I laughed when I first saw the gf Vanessa's dress at the apartment scene. 13:54 It honestly looked like she had a dish towel hung over her bikini top between her cleavage on first glance and that's now all I can see. Then the two women compliment one another later at the party and the friend says "They are going to die when they see you dressed like this." 14:32 My mind immediately supplied "die laughing". My head-canon likes to imagine the friend is mocking Vanessa. I also kind of wished someone would dry their hands on it.

    • @kinkanalchemist
      @kinkanalchemist 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Honestly, that performance reads better as sarcastic than genuine

    • @454brianbat
      @454brianbat 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Problem is that I recall being under 10 back in the 80's and the so-called bathing suits back then are much better (sexy) than anything that has come after. So, "clothing" she is wearing was bought locally believe it or not.

  • @deanlawliet1353
    @deanlawliet1353 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Mark laughing at the kids in wheelchairs falling made my day.

  • @HayleighPaige
    @HayleighPaige 3 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    So like...What’s wrong with Susie? Cause she was kicking in the water and seemed to have control of her legs?
    Whatever.

    • @colinkohlhaas6612
      @colinkohlhaas6612 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      She also clearly used her legs to step on the plank when they helped her out of the water. Surprised Mark didn't mention it lol

    • @HayleighPaige
      @HayleighPaige 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@colinkohlhaas6612 right!! Hahaha it bothered me so much

    • @lutherheggs451
      @lutherheggs451 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      No worse than the shots of a shark swimming backwards, even though sharks cannot go in reverse. But then again almost all sharks movies seem to ignore that

  • @sodapunk5814
    @sodapunk5814 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Jaws - scared the hell out of you and stay away from water .
    Cruel Jaws - You cheered for the shark .

  • @Squall1980
    @Squall1980 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    So Cruel Jaws ripped off Jaws and the Last Shark, which was also a direct rip off of Jaws

  • @munkeynuttzz129
    @munkeynuttzz129 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    The line Matt Damon gives about sharks being a locomotive with a mouthful of butcher knives is straight from the book when they're talking about megalodon, brody asks what a megalodon would look like, that's exactly how Hooper describes it. And of course the line about eating and making other baby sharks is straight from the movie version.

  • @michmasharts8870
    @michmasharts8870 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    This movie looks like Jaws and The Last Shark got together and had a congenitally compromised baby.

    • @joetie7516
      @joetie7516 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I only know The Last Shark, cause of Brandon’s Cult Reviews. Another Canadian TH-cam movie reviewer.

    • @michmasharts8870
      @michmasharts8870 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@joetie7516 Rifftrax does a riff of The Last Shark that’s hilarious! 😂

  • @ayndie38
    @ayndie38 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Top secret naval experiments. A death machine, trained to attack the enemy. Hmmmm...that sounds almost Neil Breen-ish!

    • @awwcrickets7957
      @awwcrickets7957 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      The shark would have to know how to hack and willing to expose government secrets to be written by Neil Breen

    • @bustercaps
      @bustercaps หลายเดือนก่อน

      Programmable DNA, we’re on the verge of mind hacking!

  • @librarianontheloose
    @librarianontheloose 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Why does Cruel Jaws have footage of The Last Shark in it? Or does The Last Shark have footage from Cruel Jaws? Where does this rabbit hole end?

    • @librarianontheloose
      @librarianontheloose 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @Shane Plyler it seems like they also picked up a good bit of the plot of The Last Shark as well, which is hilarious. "They'll never notice our crappy shark movie came from another crappy rip off of a shark movie"

  • @meh5476
    @meh5476 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Your videos are the TH-cam equivalent of comfort food.

  •  3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    "I've never been diving before and I only could afford the head piece. Is that gonna be a problem?"
    CUT TO: 5:47

  • @supersaiyanbino
    @supersaiyanbino ปีที่แล้ว +2

    "Don't sneak up on me!! I thought you were a shark!!"
    LMAO!!

  • @CARLOSVLA5
    @CARLOSVLA5 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    25:50....."Wathever" love how Mark just gives up on the logic behind the outcome 😀😀😀

    • @FanboyFlicks
      @FanboyFlicks  3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Lol by the end I’m just so over it

  • @HeatherHolt
    @HeatherHolt 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is one of the most underrated channels on TH-cam. One of my favorites.

  • @ludgeremmering544
    @ludgeremmering544 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    As a kid, I liked to listen to audioplays of "die drei Fragezeichen" . Storys of three young detectives getting into a new case every episode. So. The sentence about sharks being locomotives with butcherknifes is to be found 1:1 in one of those episodes. I never imagined a german Studio for childrens audioplays ripping of cruel sharks...

  • @MaxOakland
    @MaxOakland ปีที่แล้ว +2

    That day for night effect really hurts my eyes *and* soul. Weirdly, they used it in Twin Peaks season 3 and it looked just as bad as you’d expect. I didn’t even know it was supposed to be night until someone else mentioned it. I thought it was one of David Lynch’s weird effects. A really odd choice in a show that looks gorgeous otherwise

  • @legatobluesummers3211
    @legatobluesummers3211 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I can't believe Jaws stole the idea and the concept from Cruel Jaws..
    Kind of remind me of what Star Wars did to Star Crash

  • @madj.7379
    @madj.7379 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Lifelong Florida-Man here... around 9:10 Mark commented on the night scene being filmed in daytime with a blue filter. I can confirm that he's wrong. Here in Florida, for about 30 minutes as the sun drops its top edge below the horizon, EVERYTHING has a blue tint that looks exactly like the aforementioned scene. Other than that, KEEP UP THE AWESOME WORK, MARK! Seriously, your videos always make me laugh!

  • @iwazhere21
    @iwazhere21 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    The fact I’m now mentally conjuring an assassin shark with a 9mm dressed in black flopping around is amazing

  • @pablodeluxe3215
    @pablodeluxe3215 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    spitting in goggles, captain staying on board and getting more drunk.... sounds like an average dive to me.

    • @iannonya5282
      @iannonya5282 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      The saliva keeps the mask from fogging up
      Used to snorkel a lot it really works

  • @MisterBrimm
    @MisterBrimm 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Ah yes, I got my fresh brewed pour-over medium roast, snow falls outside my window (unusual for Mid-February in Portland Oregon) and my energy efficient heater hums rays of warmth as I sit buried in the folds of a thousand blankets. The only thing that could make this more perfect is if Mark posts a video...

  • @VerisimilitudeFilms1
    @VerisimilitudeFilms1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Matt Damon? I dunno about that. To me he was more like Carey Elwes. A shark movie starring Carey Elwes, Hulk Hogan and Patrick Duffy.

    • @stevenatkinson1228
      @stevenatkinson1228 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That cop definitely looks like Patrick Duffy!

  • @Liquidcadmus
    @Liquidcadmus 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    24:40 when making the film, the director asked the actor if he had any mobster type clothing to wear in that scene. the actor said "I only have my jammies" the director said "that will work fine"

  • @RyllenKriel
    @RyllenKriel 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    How about "Emotionally Compromised Jaws: A Love Story Beneath the Sea"?

  • @RandolphTheWhite1
    @RandolphTheWhite1 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    It's called Cruel Jaws because it's much harder to sit through than Jaws

  • @Jenniferlwarm
    @Jenniferlwarm 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Cruel Jaws 🤣 because the original Jaws was such a nice guy

  • @randomreviews4278
    @randomreviews4278 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    2:24 to 2:32 it sounds a mix between the Indiana Jones theme and Jaws theme

  • @BenjaminMRogers
    @BenjaminMRogers 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    5:30 - Sees a guy in uniform that says Police on it.
    "How are ya doing, Sheriff!"

  • @beautifulxidiot
    @beautifulxidiot 3 ปีที่แล้ว +69

    I know why they call it Cruel Jaws. Because it’s cruel to the viewers my GOD

  • @ProBreakers
    @ProBreakers 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    So wait, did Vanessa actually die or was Dag just being a jerk and trying to spare the little girl's feelings? I need to know now, I'm invested!

    • @KatieeBug445
      @KatieeBug445 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      this reply is way, way late, but i have been wondering about it too, so i looked it up not too long ago. on the wiki page for this movie, it says that she's killed by the shark, so...

    • @mileyscool97
      @mileyscool97 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@KatieeBug445 I came to the comments for this answer Thank you! I’ve watched this video more times than I can count after finding Mark’s channel forever ago but only recently did I even think about if she was really dead haha I was so confused. Like cmon Dag, it’s gonna be worse when she realizes you lied. This movie is so weird. I didn’t like Vanessa anyway tho so 😗

  • @pro.fessionalcomplainer
    @pro.fessionalcomplainer 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I mean, angry godzilla seems to be the plot point of kong vs godzilla, so you're not wrong 🤷‍♀️

  • @vangelis7
    @vangelis7 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Theres so many scenes directly taken from “The Last Shark” which is a hilarious movie in itself, starring some very immaculate mustaches.

  • @personofpinterest4281
    @personofpinterest4281 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    This movies script is just the script for Jaws but with an extra chromosome.

  • @jzacrack1978
    @jzacrack1978 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This has been my favorite channel for a long time. Congratulations on the 10 years.

  • @voiddweller9622
    @voiddweller9622 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    You should do shark exorcist. Best shark movie ever.

  • @davidmccoy4764
    @davidmccoy4764 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I saw an article on this movie today. Instantly made me want to come back and rewatch. Definitely one of your best videos... just so dang funny.

  • @gnadmot
    @gnadmot 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    You're not dark Mark. You're just verbalizing what we're all thinking. Yeah, we're sick fucks too. #SamuraiSword

  • @SOUL-KING-93
    @SOUL-KING-93 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    The most shocking thing about this movie is that it came out in 1995 but looks 80s quality.

  • @Mike-ks6qu
    @Mike-ks6qu 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    That theme......wow. top drawer....simply marvelous that. 🤣🤣🤣

  • @WilAdams
    @WilAdams 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    "Against the Ninja." There may be some scenes lifted from Jaws, but I know that the first shark ramming scene is lifted right from the Last Shark. Okay, there were no Jaws rip-off scenes that I could identify, but the Last Shark is definitely the source of all these scenes. The Regatta, the bobbing Great White head, the eating the net. The wind surfers. All of it.

  • @maplebob23
    @maplebob23 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I want to see Cruel Jaws vs Mildly Irritated Kong!

  • @MatsubaAgeha
    @MatsubaAgeha 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    17:16~ "Almost as if they were so far ahead of everybody that they decided to stop and take a break..."
     → You mean like the hare in Aesop's "The Hare and the Tortoise"?

  • @markula_4040
    @markula_4040 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Bargain basement Jaws starring
    Bargain basement Matt Damon
    Bargain basement Hulk Hogan AND
    Bargain basement Dolph Lundgren? And I'm only hearing about this movie for the first time now?

  • @ryansextremegaming
    @ryansextremegaming 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    21:19
    Did they lie to that kid?
    " Don't worry she is fine."
    " She just needs a band aid. "
    ---------------------
    " But I saw her being killed by the shark."
    -------------------
    " It wasn't as bad as it looked. "

  • @mukabout4243
    @mukabout4243 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    @ 1:06 - Possibly Mark’s most unintentional Seinfeld moment yet!

  • @michaelwahl7810
    @michaelwahl7810 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I just had the most well timed ad. Right when he said "Something much worse than drugs and alcohol" an ad came on and said "tickets to Dune 2 are now available". I'm gonna go ahead and consider that to be a prophecy.

  • @pacoromes
    @pacoromes 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    *watching a movie called "Intentions" about step siblings who get along and get each other dates*
    Me: I bet this movie would be better if it had an adjective.

  • @LeFroge
    @LeFroge 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    For real, watching your videos are the most relaxing and enjoyable I’ve found. They really take away your stress.....and then make you laugh at the same time. Always so excited when I see a new one! :D

  • @thegothicmetalhead2877
    @thegothicmetalhead2877 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Cruel Jaws is the Mac & Me of Jaws

  • @GoADHDGo
    @GoADHDGo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    “Sharks are only found in two places on Earth: the northern and southern hemishperes.”

  • @ogangakhadudu
    @ogangakhadudu 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I thought the "Shark genre" was saturated enough... Apparently not...

    • @kenrickkahn
      @kenrickkahn 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I love Jews but I feel as that movie was a mistake.. People been making rip-offs of Jews every since.. Trying to recreate something that was already done perfectly..

  • @DrMurdercock
    @DrMurdercock ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Mark takes me to my happy place man. Appreciate this dude so much

  • @_SimpleJack_
    @_SimpleJack_ 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    My daughter and I watch Toxic Shark last night. It was so bad, so very, very bad...

  • @rachelaries7240
    @rachelaries7240 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I thought I had watched all of your videos but just found this one randomly. What a day to be alive!! 🎉

  • @Cosmic_Imperia
    @Cosmic_Imperia 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Haha I think he might of topped the “welcome back TO the show” from Jaws of Satan, love it!

  • @zNxghT-_-TerrxRz
    @zNxghT-_-TerrxRz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Funny af, luv your videos man. Wished you did more Hulk Hogan jokes in this one tho lmao

  • @virg0_lem0nade
    @virg0_lem0nade 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    yes, so happy to see a new one! this video is my valentine's day date this year hahahah.
    p.s. best of luck to you on the upcoming surgery, Mark!!!

  • @eduardopena5893
    @eduardopena5893 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    22:00 When you can't get the real Hulk Hogan to be in your movie, you call discount Hulk Hogan

  • @danethanor
    @danethanor 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I thought they were saying Sorenson with a "o" in son instead of the common e used in Denmark but imdb says it is spelled as Snerensen. I never heard of that name . Im a Sorenson that fell in 91 into a empty barge where i worked at on the river and broke my back . I use a manual wheelchair & have never broke my handbrakes, that not to say they would be effective speeding down hill like in Mac and Me.

  • @TheHumanFly516
    @TheHumanFly516 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    "Woah, a zoom OUT for a change. You never know what's coming in Cruel Jaws!" 🤣

  • @mammuchan8923
    @mammuchan8923 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    14:50 did Sam just really say he’s got an extra set of balls? Man I just love this scriptwriters work👏

  • @John-merman
    @John-merman ปีที่แล้ว +2

    0:38 i discovered this channel on accident while looking for a decent review of the movie named “Spookies”

  • @SonnyGTA
    @SonnyGTA 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    OH YEAAAAAH! I’m getting evicted from my aquarium brother!!! -Wish Hulk

  • @markspyrison9659
    @markspyrison9659 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Mark is truly underrated. And he's only gotten better over the years. Really enjoy his amusing reviews. I can almost forgive him for being Canadian.

  • @troyschulz2318
    @troyschulz2318 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    The reason why the Matt Damon lookalike talks so weird is probably because the actor's British.

  • @TheMightyCookieShow
    @TheMightyCookieShow ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You deserve soo many subs, I hope you get them. Love your show!

  • @kman215
    @kman215 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I remember family Guy having a Jaws parody called big Jaws. Turns out there's a movie called cruel Jaws. That's amazing

  • @Brooklyn_Bleek
    @Brooklyn_Bleek 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    "Angry Godzilla" is basically the production/proto name of "Godzilla vs Kong". BTW, the owner of the aquarium looks like a mini hulk hogan.

  • @trey8872
    @trey8872 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Why do all of the “actors” in these movies talk with the same cadence? Some of Billy’s dialogue reminded me of Mojo from Mind Trap.

  • @mikeq725
    @mikeq725 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    "Is anybody else's tight? I only bought the head piece"... my gawd man! Your your humor is on point. Love it. Thanks for the laughs. Ohh and....
    Hi Mark

  • @TheB00Man
    @TheB00Man ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Cruel Jaws doesn't just eat you. He makes snide remarks about your handicap or dead mother first.

  • @TheNiriw
    @TheNiriw 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Hey Mark, I took some diving classes in college, yes, you are supposed to spit on your goggles. It prevents them from getting foggy, you can also use sea water, but it is not nearly as cool/badass.

  • @TheCyborgTrucker
    @TheCyborgTrucker 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I can't believe(Actually I can. It's Italian filmmaking) how much footage from The Last Shark is in this film! Holy crap!

  • @charlesbullghost5491
    @charlesbullghost5491 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The venisa shark attack! Comes from one of the infamous shark eating frenzy hungry attacks from jaws #2.