A SHARK WORSE THAN JAWS???
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 มิ.ย. 2024
- On this episode of Weird Movies With Mark, I talk about a movie with a very cruel shark.
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Credits Music by: OVERWERK - ตลก
But Jaws was the name of the doctor. The shark's name was Jaws' Monster
Such an underrated comment.
Fun Fact: In The Island of Dr. Moreau, the island is the real villain.
Actually Jaw's name was Bruce
@@dutchmasteret Nobody ever bothered to ask the shark what his name was. That's the real tragedy of the tale. Monsters aren't born that way. They become that way after years of human rudeness.
Best comment ever,my dude 😂😂
Cruel Jaws is only lashing out because he desperately wishes to be loved. Sequel idea, Cruel Jaws gets hitched in Jaws In-laws
Then we can make Cruel Jaws goes Bananas in Hawaii
And of course Samuel L. Jackson must be cast in it as well.
@@MikeSmith-bn1qr that's the thing, Samuel L Jackson IS Cruel Jaws
Make it a trilogy. In the third movie, Cruel Jaws becomes a corporate lawyer in Jaws Bylaws.
Falls for a clingy eel...
Cruel Jaws 2: Electric Bugaboo
There are fewer sharks in the water these days because so many of them got caught up in tornadoes a little while back, I think there was a documentary about it.
I don't know. They keep making additions to that documentary. I don't think they care about the message anymore. :(
It’s not a documentary, it’s an ANIME.
I love all of your comments ! 🤣
It's a 5-part series. Very well done
NO its because movies like Jaws had a devastating effect on shark populations for years and don`t you forget it!
The transition from the smiling handicapped girl swimming to her father talking about losing her smile was pretty awesome script writing.
Also on the little girl, wasn't she unable to use her legs? Isn't that why she's in the wheelchair? When they pull her outta the water and the other girls gets eaten she clearly uses her legs. Couldn't have done another take where she left her legs limp? This movie is so awesomely dumb!
@Heavy Metal Collector hahahahah
@@FanboyFlicks Thanks for the videos, Mark. ✌️
She's clearly a faker too, I saw her kicking her legs underwater when she thought we couldn't see! ;)
I think his wife is still alive too, she just took the chance to flee during the accident..
People just like messing with the guy..
just to look at the emotes
that Breen smile.... priceless
How
@@Paul-qe1jn youtube membership
I would like t shirts with them.
@@The-Man-On-The-Mountain You couldn’t handle shirts with them. 😁
It's shocking this channel doesn't have a million subs. Mark's one of the most underrated creators on TH-cam.
I agree. Mark is consistently good.
@@redwolfe7049 right? I find myself rewatching videos.
Me too
@@user-gd2ys5tu8d for me, samurai cop or the neil Breen movies are the best. I probably watched samurai cop videos the most.
Facts
"Don't sneak up on me like that, I thought you were a shark" will be the line I use this week most often... ty for that :)
Coincidence... I came across this comment at the same time it came up in the video
Haha! Yes!
The most baffling part about this movie is that it came out in 1995. It looks like it came out in 1983...
Right! I looked it up because it's hard to place!
Holy crap, really? I thought it was definitely late 70s, early 80s. No way this came after Jurassic Park.
Edit: I googled it and it's still hard to process
"It's not like the shark is sneaking into people's houses with a silenced 9 mil" that line paired with that stock image fucking KILLED me. even after 10 yrs, Mark never fails to make me cry-laugh.
I agree. Mark is the best.
Cruel Life Hack:
If you want to truly "silence" a 9mm Luger then you'll need to bring its velocity down below Mach 1 so there is no "sonic boom". So use a larger/heavier bullet, typically 147-150 grain.
"Who's there?"
"Land shark."
@@ManDuderGuy Thanks this really helped me out.
Back when SNL was still good.
Gotta say mark I didn't notice that wasn't a real diving suit until you pointed it out. Good job.
When I was writing the joke I was like “how am I going to do this without a diving suit?”, then I saw my Costco jacket in my closet and knew it was perfect
@@FanboyFlicks still better costume quality than 90% of the movies you review tho.
@@FanboyFlicks if you ever do use those goggles rubbing saliva inside really does prevent them from fogging up, soap works too, same with the mirror in your bathroom, rub a bar of soap on it and your shower will no longer fog the mirror. I learned that from "you can't do that on television"....growing up in Detroit we got a lot of Canadian shows like Mr dress up, today's special, polkadot door ECT
@@breakingames7772 So many good YCDToT memories...
@@breakingames7772 I had a crush on Christine of YCDToT and watched the show though I was too old for it, feeling like a dirty old man. Years later I found that Christine is 25 months younger than I am… yeah, disgusting of me…
Imagine how boring the movie Cruel Intentions would've been without the Cruel.
It would have been mind numbingly boring without Sarah Michelle Gellar and Reese Witherspoon making out through most of it Selma Blair in her underwear also played a big part in making it watchable
That "Dick brain " scene was so embarrassing the hair on the back of my neck stood up
This jaws is cruel, as opposed to Jaws 1-4, who was more on the tender side.
The fact there more than one Jaws movie, indicates Hollywood has, and always will be evil beyond measure.
@@admech590 not evil, greedy and stupid
Well we know sharks are a sort of locomotive with mouth full of butchers knives, all they know to do is swim, eat and make baby sharks
The one in 3-D. That one killed less, even seemed bored...
sensitive jaws, but because he had an impacted molar
Clearly, the shark died from a sympathetic wound when the sunken ship was blown up by the bomb. That's science.
Thank you Stephen
Broken heart syndrome?
You sure the wound wasn't it's balls ripped off and turned into earrings like those Sorensens we're mentioning doing to billy
Kinda shocked when I googled this and found out it came out in 1995! I thought this was like 1982 at the most.
WHA😲
You must b joking🤦🏾♀
I guessed 1985.
There was footage from an 1981 movie called THE LAST SHARK.
Obviously, this "movie" sat on some shelves for a while. Gee I wonder why? ROTFL
Me too!
Seems like Billy the Close Talker's entire role in this movie is to say quotes from Jaws but slightly altered to be significantly worse
Like Amy Schumer's jokes.
Squint: We are going to need a larger ship.
Does squint have a Welsh accent? :)
Fun fact: The movie "Cruel" (2014) got their name from this movie
When the girl in the wheelchair was being rescued after she flew off the pier, her legs were kicking the whole time. Must be something in the water😂
19:47 : and modern medicine realised that it only takes a near fatal shark attack to give you back the use of your legs
We need to throw more paralyzed people into shark-infested waters clearly.
vanessa needs to chill tf out and try some of those cheddar biscuits
Mark, where do you buy your shirts? They are all pretty cool. Years ago I bought from Tshirtbordello.com but they went out of business 😔
@@batman_overlord check out Redbubble.com
Redbubble is great, I buy pretty much all my clothes there. A LOT of movie nd gaming shirts and hoodies.
I always wanted to know one thing.. Do You speak Canadian French?
@@FanboyFlicks I would love to know how many people purchased the Neil Breen in Twisted Pair Miniskirt.
I love Cruel Movies With Mark.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
The "acting" in the scene where they burned themselfes ... oh my god, this movie rocks 10/10 xD
"Mom, can we get Jaws?"
"No, we have Jaws at home."
*Jaws at home:*
20:27 "Mark My Words" should be the name of your personal advice segment.
So Cruel Jaws ripped off Jaws and the Last Shark, which was also a direct rip off of Jaws
Jaws - scared the hell out of you and stay away from water .
Cruel Jaws - You cheered for the shark .
Mark laughing at the kids in wheelchairs falling made my day.
Jaws N' Me.
This movie looks like Jaws and The Last Shark got together and had a congenitally compromised baby.
I only know The Last Shark, cause of Brandon’s Cult Reviews. Another Canadian TH-cam movie reviewer.
@@joetie7516 Rifftrax does a riff of The Last Shark that’s hilarious! 😂
So like...What’s wrong with Susie? Cause she was kicking in the water and seemed to have control of her legs?
Whatever.
She also clearly used her legs to step on the plank when they helped her out of the water. Surprised Mark didn't mention it lol
@@colinkohlhaas6612 right!! Hahaha it bothered me so much
No worse than the shots of a shark swimming backwards, even though sharks cannot go in reverse. But then again almost all sharks movies seem to ignore that
"I've never been diving before and I only could afford the head piece. Is that gonna be a problem?"
CUT TO: 5:47
Top secret naval experiments. A death machine, trained to attack the enemy. Hmmmm...that sounds almost Neil Breen-ish!
The shark would have to know how to hack and willing to expose government secrets to be written by Neil Breen
As a kid, I liked to listen to audioplays of "die drei Fragezeichen" . Storys of three young detectives getting into a new case every episode. So. The sentence about sharks being locomotives with butcherknifes is to be found 1:1 in one of those episodes. I never imagined a german Studio for childrens audioplays ripping of cruel sharks...
Coincidence!
Why does Cruel Jaws have footage of The Last Shark in it? Or does The Last Shark have footage from Cruel Jaws? Where does this rabbit hole end?
@Shane Plyler it seems like they also picked up a good bit of the plot of The Last Shark as well, which is hilarious. "They'll never notice our crappy shark movie came from another crappy rip off of a shark movie"
I can't believe Jaws stole the idea and the concept from Cruel Jaws..
Kind of remind me of what Star Wars did to Star Crash
The most shocking thing about this movie is that it came out in 1995 but looks 80s quality.
The line Matt Damon gives about sharks being a locomotive with a mouthful of butcher knives is straight from the book when they're talking about megalodon, brody asks what a megalodon would look like, that's exactly how Hooper describes it. And of course the line about eating and making other baby sharks is straight from the movie version.
25:50....."Wathever" love how Mark just gives up on the logic behind the outcome 😀😀😀
Lol by the end I’m just so over it
spitting in goggles, captain staying on board and getting more drunk.... sounds like an average dive to me.
The saliva keeps the mask from fogging up
Used to snorkel a lot it really works
The fact I’m now mentally conjuring an assassin shark with a 9mm dressed in black flopping around is amazing
I mean, angry godzilla seems to be the plot point of kong vs godzilla, so you're not wrong 🤷♀️
Your videos are the TH-cam equivalent of comfort food.
I always love it when Mark puts himself in movie scenes
Maybe it's just me, but I laughed when I first saw the gf Vanessa's dress at the apartment scene. 13:54 It honestly looked like she had a dish towel hung over her bikini top between her cleavage on first glance and that's now all I can see. Then the two women compliment one another later at the party and the friend says "They are going to die when they see you dressed like this." 14:32 My mind immediately supplied "die laughing". My head-canon likes to imagine the friend is mocking Vanessa. I also kind of wished someone would dry their hands on it.
Honestly, that performance reads better as sarcastic than genuine
Problem is that I recall being under 10 back in the 80's and the so-called bathing suits back then are much better (sexy) than anything that has come after. So, "clothing" she is wearing was bought locally believe it or not.
How about "Emotionally Compromised Jaws: A Love Story Beneath the Sea"?
Cruel Jaws is the Mac & Me of Jaws
Theres so many scenes directly taken from “The Last Shark” which is a hilarious movie in itself, starring some very immaculate mustaches.
24:40 when making the film, the director asked the actor if he had any mobster type clothing to wear in that scene. the actor said "I only have my jammies" the director said "that will work fine"
I thought the "Shark genre" was saturated enough... Apparently not...
I love Jews but I feel as that movie was a mistake.. People been making rip-offs of Jews every since.. Trying to recreate something that was already done perfectly..
2:24 to 2:32 it sounds a mix between the Indiana Jones theme and Jaws theme
Cruel Jaws 🤣 because the original Jaws was such a nice guy
Mark takes me to my happy place man. Appreciate this dude so much
My daughter and I watch Toxic Shark last night. It was so bad, so very, very bad...
Matt Damon? I dunno about that. To me he was more like Carey Elwes. A shark movie starring Carey Elwes, Hulk Hogan and Patrick Duffy.
That cop definitely looks like Patrick Duffy!
I just had the most well timed ad. Right when he said "Something much worse than drugs and alcohol" an ad came on and said "tickets to Dune 2 are now available". I'm gonna go ahead and consider that to be a prophecy.
So wait, did Vanessa actually die or was Dag just being a jerk and trying to spare the little girl's feelings? I need to know now, I'm invested!
this reply is way, way late, but i have been wondering about it too, so i looked it up not too long ago. on the wiki page for this movie, it says that she's killed by the shark, so...
@@KatieeBug445 I came to the comments for this answer Thank you! I’ve watched this video more times than I can count after finding Mark’s channel forever ago but only recently did I even think about if she was really dead haha I was so confused. Like cmon Dag, it’s gonna be worse when she realizes you lied. This movie is so weird. I didn’t like Vanessa anyway tho so 😗
That theme......wow. top drawer....simply marvelous that. 🤣🤣🤣
I know why they call it Cruel Jaws. Because it’s cruel to the viewers my GOD
This movies script is just the script for Jaws but with an extra chromosome.
This is one of the most underrated channels on TH-cam. One of my favorites.
DRAGON SOUND ...FRIENDS FOREVER
For Eternity.. loyalty.. honesty!! 👍👍❤️👍👍😂😂👍
You should do shark exorcist. Best shark movie ever.
"Against the Ninja." There may be some scenes lifted from Jaws, but I know that the first shark ramming scene is lifted right from the Last Shark. Okay, there were no Jaws rip-off scenes that I could identify, but the Last Shark is definitely the source of all these scenes. The Regatta, the bobbing Great White head, the eating the net. The wind surfers. All of it.
"Angry Godzilla" is basically the production/proto name of "Godzilla vs Kong". BTW, the owner of the aquarium looks like a mini hulk hogan.
You're not dark Mark. You're just verbalizing what we're all thinking. Yeah, we're sick fucks too. #SamuraiSword
Bargain basement Jaws starring
Bargain basement Matt Damon
Bargain basement Hulk Hogan AND
Bargain basement Dolph Lundgren? And I'm only hearing about this movie for the first time now?
RIIIIGHT
That day for night effect really hurts my eyes *and* soul. Weirdly, they used it in Twin Peaks season 3 and it looked just as bad as you’d expect. I didn’t even know it was supposed to be night until someone else mentioned it. I thought it was one of David Lynch’s weird effects. A really odd choice in a show that looks gorgeous otherwise
"We're on top, because we play to win!!"
@ 1:06 - Possibly Mark’s most unintentional Seinfeld moment yet!
The little girl was moving her legs after she fell in the water AND while she was being pulled out.
I like how the sheriff needed a megaphone just to match Loud Matt Damon
The reason why the Matt Damon lookalike talks so weird is probably because the actor's British.
*watching a movie called "Intentions" about step siblings who get along and get each other dates*
Me: I bet this movie would be better if it had an adjective.
If people think there's a shark, how will they open the dog racing track?
I remember family Guy having a Jaws parody called big Jaws. Turns out there's a movie called cruel Jaws. That's amazing
That boat explosion scene deserved an Oscar
I thought they were saying Sorenson with a "o" in son instead of the common e used in Denmark but imdb says it is spelled as Snerensen. I never heard of that name . Im a Sorenson that fell in 91 into a empty barge where i worked at on the river and broke my back . I use a manual wheelchair & have never broke my handbrakes, that not to say they would be effective speeding down hill like in Mac and Me.
Haha I think he might of topped the “welcome back TO the show” from Jaws of Satan, love it!
Cruel jaws 2: What about Bob full circle Richard Dreyfuss returns.
“This was no boating accident...it was a CRUEL boating accident “
Why do all of the “actors” in these movies talk with the same cadence? Some of Billy’s dialogue reminded me of Mojo from Mind Trap.
Mark gliding in at 1:33 had me cracking up for whatever reason.
Glad to see, I'm not the only one. Caught me off guard in a good way.
I debated whether or not to keep that in for a while lol
@@FanboyFlicks it was nice touch buddy, keep up the good work!
😂 Sliding into your DM's
This has been my favorite channel for a long time. Congratulations on the 10 years.
"Don't sneak up on me!! I thought you were a shark!!"
LMAO!!
In my best Cinema Sins voice "Discount Matt Damon. Discount Hulk Hogan....discount jaws..."
Oh, haj Mark! (swedish humor)
“Did she trip?” Perfection.
"Woah, a zoom OUT for a change. You never know what's coming in Cruel Jaws!" 🤣
*That annotation (at the end) is cool as fuck*
Since forever I have been asking whats the point in copyrighting anything if someone can come
along and not only infringe on it but get away with doing it. lol
Best “TOOOO the show” yet.
And that quote with the "locomotive" that "swims, eats, and makes baby sharks" is essentially directly lifted from Jaws:
Hooper: "Mr. Vaughn, what we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks, and that's all."
That new ending bumper is fresh. Great work Mark.
I can't believe(Actually I can. It's Italian filmmaking) how much footage from The Last Shark is in this film! Holy crap!
Ahhh so there is another Meth Damon!
I saw an article on this movie today. Instantly made me want to come back and rewatch. Definitely one of your best videos... just so dang funny.
Hey Mark, I took some diving classes in college, yes, you are supposed to spit on your goggles. It prevents them from getting foggy, you can also use sea water, but it is not nearly as cool/badass.
Mark you should check out an Irish film called ‘Fatal Deviation’
i second the motion. in the vein of gymkata, only way funnier.
@@carstenlaursen3744 Jimmy Bennet, with facial expressions easely on par with the samouraï cop.
A must see, if you wanna live life, love and survive...😉
I third the motion
I concur. In keeping with the ancient ways, there are no rules....
14:50 did Sam just really say he’s got an extra set of balls? Man I just love this scriptwriters work👏
Mark is truly underrated. And he's only gotten better over the years. Really enjoy his amusing reviews. I can almost forgive him for being Canadian.
when i originally watched this movie i think i rewatched that gasoline scene 10 times just because i had to check what had actually happened. so hilarious.