First kid did an epidural and the counting and pushing and it was a rough birth that resulted in an episiotomy and level 3B tear. Second birth went to a birth center and when I tell y’all it was 10000% easier! My body pushed and pushed it really wasn’t even painful just intense and ended up only having minor tearing which was so much better when it came to recovery. Trust the Lord in how you were made, trust your body and find a team you trust and you’ve got this!
Exact same as me! I'm expecting my 2nd, but my first was a very long drawn out labour with an epidural and tearing. The trauma from the labour and length of time spending pushing affected my breast milk and that didn't come for a week. The whole thing was so horrible. For this 2nd birth I'm really aiming for a home birth with as little interventions as possible (if I can help it!)
Hi Bridget, I'm Lora Collins. I'm 63 years old and I am a retired childbirth educator and doula. I am SO proud of the work you are doing. This information is needed to empower young mothers to own their childbirth experience. I showed this video to my husband who is a chiropractor and he was deeply impressed. He has a lot of young mothers coming through his practice and we have decided to send any pregnant mothers to your course and your TH-cam channel. Thank you so much for this. The world needs your voice and your knowledge.
I love this. with baby number three, I stayed in the shower of my hospital room, swaying and humming. No one checked me, so we didn’t know how dilated I was. I came out of the shower so they could take my blood pressure and check my progress, but we didn’t make it 😂 my body just started pushing her down. I said “I think I’m pushing” so I got on all four and two pushes later I had my little girl. It was so different than my epidural births (which I was expecting to get this time! Just didn’t make it). I felt like a million bucks and it really didn’t hurt like I thought it would.
Did you exercise regularly? I haven't been consistent but my mom frequently tells me that if I don't start walking regularly I will probably have a rough delivery.
@ no! I mean, I was active because I had two other small kids. But I actually broke my big toe at 7 months pregnant!! Movement is truly your best friend when pregnant, if it can be followed a good rest. But I climbed a lot of stairs everyday and chased kids.
Oh yeah I was wondering what on earth I could do to make labor easier, and I first hear you say don’t push, yeah. I gave birth naturally to 4 kids and I haven’t pushed any of them. I just breathe. I can attest to this video to be facts
I had my son about 3 months ago at home and I let my contractions push him out. It was a wild feeling! It only took about 16 minutes once the pushing contractions started and I had no tearing and of course a lovely baby boy now!!
Experiencing the FER was the most incredible feeling. It’s like the body goes on autopilot and it’s incredibly empowering to know that my body is doing what it was designed for!!
I ended up getting an epidural, but kept doing the breathwork I had been practicing during my pregnancy. I would watch the monitor for contractions, then breathe. It helped SO much even though I had an epidural, and I kept progressing along and only pushed a few times, maybe 3 or 4? I tore but since I was already numb I didn't feel it, so I'm thankful for that. So even if you do end up doing a medicated birth, breath work helps!!
WISH I could show this to the horrible nurse who was telling me not to push and trying to scare me and saying I would tear if I didn’t stop. She had clearly never been through birth her self nor did she have enough knowledge or sympathy to be a nurse. Luckily I quickly asked her to leave and the next nurse said “oh yeah you definitely cannot control the urge to push but try not to add to the push reflex until we’re ready”.
Before I birthed my first baby, our Bradley Method birth coach told me to wait for that urge to push even if I reached 10cm, so that’s what I did for the birth of our first but also our other 3 children. They all were born in 1-2 relatively easy pushes which was maybe 5 minutes-and with no tearing 🙌🏻
@@ranijadhav8241for me, I was specifically told not to push until I had the urge to, and at the very end (if possible) not to push too hard while they’re crowning to let them come out slowly so your tissue has time to gradually stretch. Very difficult during ring of fire etc. And laboring in the tub for as long as possible (tissue is hydrated and therefore more supple and able to stretch easier) and use of warm compresses on your perineum by nurses/midwife after you get out of tub and are progressing in labor and baby is coming out to keep skin hydrated and able to stretch. Warm compresses also helped a lot with the pain down there while my baby was actually coming out
Thank you so much for mentioning that this is largely only possible if going natural without epidural. Many videos online don’t add that key piece of information and then mamas wonder why their providers/nurses don’t practice this gentle method of waiting for the ejection reflex… it’s because so many people choose epidurals & then they don’t have or feel the reflex leading to more tearing, forcefully pushing, which is allll so stressful and so much more work! I understand their are times epidurals are desired & helpful but the facts around pushing with an epidural need to be more transparent 🙏🏾
My last birth I got an epidural at the very end (9cm) and since I had a break from the contraction pain, my midwife told me to labor down until my body started to push on its own. I didn't really push at all/no tears even with an epidural so it's possible but you have to also wait/have a team willing to let you do that.
@@rachelm.3158this is a great way!! And not only do you need a supportive team but the mom herself needs to be willing to do that.. as a doula I can confirm some moms are unwilling to feel that much pressure/pain with the epidural turned down to be able to do what you were able to. That’s why, I hope everyone takes the built to birth course and develops more coping strategies beyond just planning for the epidural. Congratulations and good work managing with your epidural turned down 💕🙏🏾
YES!! 🙌 "Breathing your baby out" is exactly what my physical therapist and midwife coached me to practice and put to use in labor. Let me tell you it was amazing! This was my first baby, and from the moment my contractions started to when I started pushing was 3½ hours, and baby was out in a few minutes! I had minimal tearing and healed pretty quickly. Though not every woman's body is going to respond the exact same, I HIGHLY recommend seeing a physical therapist to help coach you to learn the right muscles to engage and how to engage them. I was so afraid of the pain and how long it typically takes for a first time mom, but I went unmedicated and though it was painful, I was still able to overall enjoy my labor experience! I also HIGHLY recommend if you want an unmedicated birth, to have a water birth, the hot water was so relaxing, and as soon as I got my baby out, the pain went away almost immediately!
Just had a completely natural birth no epidural. All your videos were extremely helpful. The nurses and the doctors thought I was crazy because they mentioned 99% of women get the epidural…. without your videos I don’t think I could have done this. Your meditation videos were also very goodand mentally prepared me to push with every surge that was unbearable thank you so much. Also I delivered on my knees for the first time . It was such a great experience I could feel the ejection that you referred to .
Delivered my third baby 2 days ago and was able to BREATHE MY BABY OUT AGAIN, unmedicated; thanks to you!! This is my second delivery using your videos and techniques; 2nd baby was delivered in 1 breath this baby was delivered in 3 breaths. I was induced for baby #2 due to preeclampsia and had to labor in the hospital. I still delivered in 1 breath (push) but the labor process was 6 hours total in the hospital. I prefer laboring at home as long as possible which I was able to do with this birth as well as my 1st baby. Contractions started at 6:15 AM. I Used your breathing techniques and laboring positions. Arrived at the hospital at 10:00 AM already dilated to 8cm. Water was broken around 11:05 AM and baby was born at 11:15 AM in 3 breaths/contractions. Last delivery I used the J breath and delivered in 1 breath/ surge. This delivery the horse lips breath felt comfortable and natural for me and she was born on the 3rd surge/ breath. Everyone in labor and delivery was amazed at how calm and easy my deliveries are and that is thanks to the info you share!! Thank you so much for what you do! You are truly God Sent! 🙏🏽
Also, for my first VBAC birth I had the urge to push BEFORE I was fully 10 centimeters dilated. The fetal ejection reflex was so strong but I ended up swelling my cervix and had to wait until that went down and I was fully dilated to push baby out. For my next births I still listened to my body and pushing with the reflex felt great for me! Babes were out in 11 minutes and 15 minutes for my 3rd and 5th births 🤗! Such a great tip to wait until you feel the pressure in between contractions. Thanks for sharing ❤️🙏🏿!
Good info. Sometimes you would need to push if your baby has shoulder dystocia and your baby is turning blue. Which was the case for my last home birth. She needed a little help breathing when she was born. And yes, I had a 3rd degree because of it. I had plan to breathe baby out.. but sometimes circumstances does not allow it.
I feel you, I had such false expectations after watching videos of 5th time mamas calmly breathing out their babies lol my home birth was so difficult and traumatic, I didn't even end up having her in the water. She was so big, I tore horribly, bled so much, the placenta wouldn't come out because I was torn inside, it was very painful. . Not what I expected lol Recovery was hard, couldn't sit up for days because my rectum muscles were torn, couldn't stand for over a week because of blood loss. It was rough, I had PTSD for a while. Here I am pregnant again planning another home birth 😅 hopefully the second time will be smoother ?
@ aww I’m sorry that happened to you. I remember tearing pretty bad with my 3rd, couldn’t stand for days because of the very heavy feeling from the trauma. But this time around it will be better for you. I will pray for you. Just had my 4th baby. 2nd home birth.. best birthing experience thus far. Didn’t breathe baby out this time either but barely teared and didn’t need stitches either…she was in the sac until she appeared, lol but the birth was wonderful all the same.
@@leeannacevedo oh I'm glad to hear you had a good experience this time :) I'm hoping mine will be better as well, thank you, I truly appreciate the prayers 🙏❤️
With my second, I got out of the bathtub one night and I wasn’t sure if my water had broken or if it was from the bath since I had a teaspoon of water come out when I stood up. I called my midwife anyway but told her I am pretty sure I am not in labor yet - no contractions other than the normal BH type ones that I have had for weeks. Within a few minutes on the phone call, I told her I suddenly felt my body bearing down on its own and I couldn’t stop it. I had no idea I was in labor but she did and drove over as fast as she could. My baby came within a few minutes and she almost missed it.
I also think having a good team helps. I just had my first a month ago and my doula made sure to keep me on track with contractions. I labored at home as long as I could. By the time I went to the hospital I was 6cm and 100% effaced. My doctor, nurses, and doula kept me going and even when I was tired and my hips hurt they reminded me it wasn't time yet. When I thought it was time to push and get the baby out they knew it wasn't time yet until I finally felt like the baby was coming and THAT'S when they were like oh okay now the baby is coming. My doula asked if I was pushing or my body was, I remember saying "I don't know but he's coming" then the doctor and nurses coached me on how to push and everyone kept me motivated. Yes it was painful, but somehow I expected it to be worse. And I felt okay after a nap when my baby was out. I 😆
In the past I felt like bearing down and it was uncontrollable but with my most recent baby I felt like pushing but I felt like i was going to tear if I didn’t hold back a little bit. I was able to control my breath and pace my pushing a little bit to be more gentle and use some pressure to push his head down with my hand as well to help navigate him out and I had almost no tearing at all. Listening to your body is the way!
I had a successful VBAC - thanks to your videos and me believing you that I was built to birth!! However, as soon as I hit 10cm my midwife had me start pushing and I pushed for 2 hours - with no joy!! After 1.5 hours I did start to have the urge, but I was so exhausted (was a 36 hour labour). Ended up having a episiotomy and vacuum to help get baby out. Still so happy and proud of myself for having my VBAC, but with my next birth I don’t want to start pushing until I actually feel the urge to! Thank you so much for all this information Bridget!!
Hi Bridget, I am so thankful for your TH-cam channel!!! I am pregnant again after giving birth eight times, and am still super nervous about my upcoming birth. I will be at a hospital in India, which has its down sides and upsides. The positive part is that I won’t have a monitor strapped to me during labor. All of my labors happen pretty fast, and I usually give birth a few hours after arriving at the hospital. (I get through the beginning hours at home.) My last two births were excruciating.😭 Unfortunately I spent too much time reclining in a chair the last few months of the pregnancies, so the babies weren’t in the ideal position to come out easily. I plan on following your advice better this time! God bless you!!💕 Thankyou for being there.💖
My lil guy is 3 months old now, and I'm still working through the disappointment that my midwife told me that I needed to push during contractions despite what I'd heard (like the info in your video). I had a long labor, but completely without complications or pain meds. When I was fully dilated I continued to down breathe through contractions. The midwife asked me why I was breathing and not pushing. At this stage of labor I think her asking/telling me this was enough to make me question myself- which is super disappointing in retrospect. I started to feel the fetal ejection reflex, I know, but after 3-4 sensations like that, the baby was just in the birth canal, not out. Eventually, after 2 hours of pushing hard during contractions, he came. I honestly think the midwife questioning me made it worse 😭, but in the moment you're so vulnerable! I just wanted to breathe my baby out, but it didn't happen that way.
My doctors always told me not to push when its the baby thats pushing, i don’t know if i don’t communicate well but i have 8 kids and I had doctors leave their shift while my babay is trying to come out, she said you will not have this baby until my next shift tomorrow but i had her before she left the building, every single kid they told me not to push. I am having my baby next month and i am so glad i found you.
Thank you so much for these videos! With my second I had the fetal ejection reflex right after we arrived at the birth center (he was almost born in the car) and that was my best pushing experience. With my third I started trying to push before I had the urge and I ended up exhausted, it was extremely overwhelming, and got a bad second degree tear. With this fourth baby I'm going to really try to listen to my body and be patient again. Thank you for your educational info!
Is the fetal ejection reflex always good? Just had my second baby and felt an uncontrollable urge to push, but as I did so I could feel that I would tear more if I just let my body crack on. I used breathing to control how my body pushed and also a few times waited for a contraction to pass until I felt that things had opened up even more down there. Ended up with a superficial tear and a graze, birthing a baby who had a head so big it didn’t even fit the newborn hats at the hospital 😂 I have a friend who had the FER kick in and she birthed her baby so quick she had bad tearing top and bottom. Obviously this is all anecdotal… whatever is right for a woman during birth, our bodies are astounding and able to cope with so much! Thank you so much for the work you do Bridget, your videos have helped me and sooo many others.
@@aura578 to me it wasn’t unbearable! Tho every woman’s experience is different. With my 1st baby I was induced with the hormone drip and that pain was far worse. With my 2nd it was super intense for sure, but I found it wasn’t unbearable and I could even ‘control’ when my body contracted to a point by leaning right forward on all fours and resting on my forearms. The best advice I can give is to not let yourself get fearful and trust in your body, stay in control of your breathing and keeping your face as relaxed as possible. Also found vocalising with low moans really helped. Wishing and praying for a safe and empowering birth for you!
Thank you so much for your videos! I just gave birth to my first baby, and had a very fast labor. But after my water broke my contractions stopped, so I was able to follow them as a clear sign to push. My baby was born in less than an hour after my water broke, my midwife was even a few minutes late to the party. I did end up with a good sized tear.
Oh my goodness…. My son was born in the car accidentally and I 100% experienced this. I was not preparing for a natural birth but it’s what I’m planning for this go-round (baby #3). It was so surreal for my body to be forcing that baby out with no input from myself.
Hey, I gave birth to my second in the car😅. She was way easier then my son's birth. I did have to do some pushing but I felt strong urges to push and couldn't bear the pressure anymore. I got her out in 10 to 15 minutes. With my son I didn't feel any urges to push, but just horrible pressure and it took me 30 minutes to get him out, I pushed so hard, it felt like I was going to explode and my eyes balls were going to pop out, unfortunately that caused an second degree tear. I birthed both of them naturally.
I am due next year but I am curious already how the whole birth thing goes. Thanks for all the info. I am scared the hospital might not listen to my wishes. I feel like everyone is doing a basic routine. Even the ultrasounds are like a random walk to the store and back. I am thankful for channels like yours otherwise I will learn absolutely nothing.
I had an unplanned hospital birth for my last one (was on vacation) and the nurse tried to tell me I had to lie down so the nurses could help deliver the baby and I just straight up refused. She also told me to stop pushing at one point which I ignored cause I didn't have control over her coming out Basically make sure you and your midwife or partner or mother or whoever is there with you knows what you want and you do you. They won't/can't physically force you to do anything...except I guess if you or baby are in danger
I just can't believe that so many mum's are still lead to believe that labour on their backs is the way to go! We're told the whole pregnancy to avoid being on our backs as much as possible. Why? So the baby can be encouraged into a better position for labour (ie to avoid a breech baby labour position)! How on earth is the recommendation suddenly any different during labour itself?! Sure the baby won't go into breech position mid-labour but, logically, if laying on your back would encourage the baby into unideal positions pre-labour, it only makes sense that this should surly also be avoided if possible/desired... Just a first-time expecting mum expressing some thoughts based on what I've watched and read. In the end, your personal choices are your own to make! X
Thank you for your content. You did a phenomenal job with this video. I have had 2 unmedicated deliveries, and anticipating my 3rd and first home birth. You hit everything so concisely and eloquently. You helped me immensely!
I was looking forward to trying to breathe my baby out with my first birth. Unfortunately my baby was in distress due to nuchal cord and I had to "purple push" along with a vacuum assist to get him out quickly, which resulted in a third degree tear. I almost had to get a c-section, so I am glad that I was able to have my baby vaginally at all, and grateful the he was delivered safely. I hope I get a chance to try again with my second baby.
With my first, I got too excited and started pushing when I only sort of had an urge to push but I didn't have the FER yet which resulted in me becoming exhausted, having a hard time pushing with contractions, and being in a lot of pain. The FER was like a hail mary, it felt like I finally had help and I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Dare I say, it felt relieving.
It’s kind of ironic women are commenting how much easier their births were with kid #2 or #3…well DUH! Epidural or not, your body typically gets more efficient and familiar with the birthing process whether it’s medicated or not. This is coming from a mama of 3 who got an epidural each time. Every delivery was faster and easier than the last. Not saying unmedicated is bad, just saying epidurals aren’t either if that’s what helps a mama relax and get baby out smoothly. A lot of people bash epidural births but they can also be beautiful and great!
About to birth #7. I didn't listen to my midwife with #1, so pushing was very hard and she had to push back a cervical lip. Didn't have to push at all with #2 because he was breech and came super fast and my body did all the work. #3 was face up, so I did have to push really hard but I did experience the reflex with her as well. Contractions on top of contractions. It was awful. Have good posture and get chiro all during pregnancy to avoid a posterior baby. Trust me. #4 was easy-- 4 minutes of not very hard pushing. I only didn't get the reflex much cause I had an epidural with her cause I didn't trust my body. She was born 2 months after my 3rd passed away from cancer. Labor was weird and irregular and I was tired and worried I'd be in labor many more hours. I ignored intuition that told me she'd come out easy. I'll never do an epidural again. Not worth it to me. Baby #5 was unassisted at home and another breech. Some pushing, but painless and easy. Baby #6 was during marital separation and with too many people in my space, so was very hard. Lots of pushing. Marriage is reconciled and I have so much peace with this one. My space is all set up and I'm having contractions as I watch this.
I agree, but I think some mother's are anxious and instead of relaxing and letting your body do the work they get wound up and stressed. My last child which I had 38 years ago , I was able to stand during labor and then my doctor brought in a bar which I held onto and was in a squatting position and my son came out almost effortlessly. The reason I was standing and squatting is that at the time I didn't know it but I had a fractured vertibrae and everytime the nurses wanted me to lay down it was excrutiating.
I had hoped that would happen for me, but I had an intense labor that lasted for 4 days (I planned to have an unassisted home birth). I was exhausted, went to the hospital, I was fully dilated, and I had to push really hard to get him out, but it was over in minutes. I tried many position and exercises at home to help labor. Every birth is different. ❤️
This is great! My 20 year old was born with two easy pushes at the very end. I had a caesarean for my first and long story short, I didn’t know what to expect for my VBAC and thought I would not be ready to push and resisted the urge to push for around 1/2 an hour. At this time I said to my midwife that the urge to push was definitely a thing. My daughter was born calm, so much so, she was asleep. People don’t seem to believe me, now I know it’s actually a thing…
I was told to push at 9 cam to get the last cm get unstuck from the cervix and I never had that feeling of needing to push and then it took forever for me pushing and I felt like I sucked at doing it… but I was being instructed to and it was my first birth. This next time I really hope I can speak up and wait for that need to get that baby out and not have to “push” with all my might like last time.
I felt it for my first child but with my second i had to push because her heart rate drop drastically, i pushed three Times and she was out. Sometimes pushing is necessary. I précise, for my first child i had an épidural and i felt everything, i was able to move and felt the urge of pushing (the pain too when he got out), just to say that épidural helped me during labor (it was long) but disn't kept me from feeling everything, it's not evil.
I just had my first and was on an epidural; labor took way longer than needed because I wasn’t pushing properly and thought I was (kept ended up being Ab pushes instead of stool pushes). I really wanna learn how to push effectively while on an epidural, I’m afraid of birthing naturally (I tried and couldn’t get through the pain when reaching 6cm). I tried doing some breathing and other methods I learned from this channel and others and just got super discouraged and disappointed. I also ended up getting an episiotomy and tearing too. However, I do wanna try again if we’re blessed with another child. I need all the support and help I can get lol
Some of these videos are so unrealistic after 6cm the pain was so horrific I was begging for an epidural. They didn’t give me one and I was passing in and out of consciousness from the pain. Never again.
@@rosyapplekitchen635I was curious about this!! I literally got to 6cm and could not bear it anymore. I begged for one too. Nice to know I’m not alone, I thought I failed at the task to go natural lol. I know every woman’s body is different and laboring etc. but still 😅
Definitely gonna try this when i go into labor in a few months. My last delivery was so difficult because i wasnt pushing productively. my husband says i was pushing for more than 2-3 hours (i dont remember cuz i was feeling so out of it at that point).
I gave birth to my baby boy at 42 weeks 4 days (3,45kg). My mom had an induction at 42 weeks so my midwife told me at 40 weeks, "oh yeah you're definitely going over 42 weeks, just you relax." 😂 And she was right! The labour was very intense though, started at 8am, went to midwife at 3.30pm. The reflex kicked in at 9pm and he arrived at 2am. I was exhausted! Apparently it took longer because his hand came out next to his face, AKA Compound Presentation. Had my midwife been aware of it, she would've told me to push the mental goal post a little further down the line. Because my husband and I were wondering why it was taking so long! Every birth is different. ❤️
I had to push my first for 90 min, my second was born less than 10 min after my body started pushing... I think maybe the first time I was too exhausted from a long labour? Or maybe I was too disorientated by pethidine? Not sure. But the second time was so much easier!
Awe ❤❤❤ I love your work and your dedication to natural birth and sharing this information. You are a light on this earth. A very special soul, thanks.
I have a question-during my labor with our first baby (I’m currently 18 weeks pregnant with our second), I felt the urge to push pretty much the entire time. My midwife advised me to try not to because it was way too early (I had 6 hours of active labor, for reference, and only truly pushed for about 15 minutes at the end). My question is, why was I feeling “pushy” the entire time?? I’ve never heard of anyone talking about that. Was it because I was tense? (I had a very painful birth, back labor the entire time)
OB wants to do induction at 41 weeks. I’m 40 weeks this Friday, just had a chiropractic adjustment to help open up the pelvis so baby can (hopefully) come soon. Praying for a natural, unmedicated, physiologic birth!
The not pushing thing made sense to me the first time I heard it because when I was 16 I had a bad UTI and first outbreak of general herpes and my body had a hard time using the toilet for like a week. Finally I was holding it in so bad that when I sat on the toilet my body was like “I don’t care how much it’s going to hurt because this is going to hurt so much more if it stays in” and my body pushed against my mental will and struggle. I was so happy that my minds fear couldn’t hold it back any longer.
I have had two births. One in the hospital with a midwife and then one in the car on accident while traveling to the birth center. My first birth wasn't too great. I didn't feel any strong urges for me to push execpt for extreme amount of pressure, unfortunately i was having hard time communicating what i was feeling to my midwife and my husband due to the pain. I ended up pushing for 30 minutes and pushed so hard i felt like i was going to explode and my eye balls were going to pop out, this caused a second degree tear. I was happy we were at the hospital, just because my son need to go to the Nicu, he was born at 37 weeks. With my second i did feel strong urges to push and a whole bunch of pressure. I didn't breath her out because it felt like i needed to do a bit of pushing. I got her out in 10 to 15 minutes by standing up in the car. I really wished i could have made it to the birthing center though, i was looking forward to a water birth, i wanted a water birth both times and it didn't happen 😢.
Just gave birth an hour ago. Not first time. Literally had a freaking bladder prolapse but thankfully my midwife caught it. I was stuck at a 6 for 8 hours. Felt like a lip so my body was pushing for a couple hours. She had to move my bladder while pushing. Omg but we made it!!
@@DanielleWatkins-bh4ip Don’t worry, you got this! My midwife said she never had to do that before if that helps lol. TBH, no positions really helped.. I felt like I was stuck on pitocin contractions forever. I just paced around. After she figured out what was wrong and moved it, she came quickly! 🤪
Thank you for mentioning foetal positioning. I went into my first labour thinking that I'd just be able to breathe the baby out and a hypnobrithing course had told me not to listen to nurses if they made you push- but as far as I recall the course didn't prepare me for insane nausea throughout labour and an OP baby (didn't know she was OP until she was out) so it was really confusing to feel that things should have been easier but needing to ignore the inner voice from the course and listen to the nurses who knew that I'd need some next-level pushing to get my daughter out. This time around I'm equipped with a lot more awareness of the difference that foetal positioning can make, and steps to try and spin baby before and during labour. Btw I believe adrenaline is added to (maybe just some?) epidurals- worth a look up?
I love your videos and they helped me so much with birthing my first child naturally! I do have a question! During my first labor I started to experience the urge to push only at 7-8cm dilated and my body began pushing on its own. I used the “horse” breathing technique which helped slightly. How do I know the difference between the fetal ejection reflex when baby is ready to be pushed out rather than what I experienced above? I am going to be giving birth again soon and want less cervical checks but do not want to experience the urge to push during my second labor and push baby too soon when I am not fully dilated.
I’ve never experienced the fetal ejection reflex 😢 Pushing has always been the worst part of labor for me. I’m pregnant with our fourth and I would love to not have to push so hard!
My first birth was a C Section, at 41 weeks, I experienced no labor. My second child , I was 41 weeks and 4 days pregnant,labor was induced after 5 days of prostaglandine and other methods. 18 hours in the labor I was only 6 cm dilated. The pain was so intense, I was afraid I will ask for a Caesarian. I had an epidural. I could finally fall asleep. After 6 hours of sleep, I woke up almost 10 cm dilated. I didn't fell much pain in the belly, but I felt it in the vagina. After 10 pushes, maybe 15 minutes? my boy's head was at the border. After one long, intense push, the head was out and one more push, the body was out. A max of 30 minutes of pushing and I could feel the need to push, but no significant pain in the belly. For me, it was the perfect solution, but I guess I was lucky.
I wanted to go natural but gave in and had an epidural with my oldest and had the urge to push as they were putting the epidural in. It took an hour of pushing to get him out. After that I swore I’d go natural, and I have. With my youngest I started having that urge to push, so I let the nurse now. She took her sweet time and I just had to push before she came back in. One push and out came the bottom half of my daughter (surprise breech)! By the second push she was out, safe and sound. My doctor came running in just before my second push and had a terrified expression on her face. Strangely enough, she was one of my easier babies when it came to pushing. But I will fully agree that waiting for the urge is so much better than pushing before that.
My body started pushing my last baby out without me trying when I was 9cm. I told the nurse that the baby was coming and she did not believe me. She kept telling me I wasn't dilated enough yet. Finally, she said, "Well, let's do a few practice pushes" obviously not expecting anything. Within two "practice" pushes, my baby's head was out. To my dismay and shock, she actually pushed the baby back in until the doctor came in, which she was rushing at that point to come in the room because she didn't take me seriously. Despite not being 10cm, I did not tear and thankfully, baby was completely healthy (I was anxious she would not be able to breathe after being pushed back in like that)
I felt my body starting to push, and it was very subtle. After that they checked to find that I was at 10cm. I intended to let my body do the pushing but the contractions were so excruciating, I pushed as hard as I could and got him out in 17 minutes. The breathing techniques were really helpful. Little guy had his hand up by his face. I wonder if that's why it hurt so bad.
I’m 40 weeks and four days, this is my fifth baby and only one that is late besides my first the others were early, the doctors are pushing for an induction next week which I keep saying no but their being intense about it, not sure what todo, praying I go into labor soon!
Is this referring to an unmedicated birth? I’m pregnant with my first IVF miracle due in March and I’m looking to have no intervention besides a midwife doula
I am at my 5th month, had placenta previa in NTNB scan waiting for next scan to get to know any change in placement position. My question is is possible to have vaginal delivery in this condition and what is placenta birth? Does it gets removed just after delivery?
Please please listen to Bridget. I've been watching her videos since I was pregnant with my first baby, and I've had two babies without pushing and pregnant with my third. Bridget knows what she's talking about
I’m wondering if the midwives at my hospital will allow me to birth in a different position then on my back. I’ll definitely ask them about this at my next appointment but it’s not for another month - does anyone know how to go about this? I know they want you on your back to push so they can see what’s going on but I definitely want to utilize gravity in the process
Wow, I experienced this and I think I'm the odd one out. 6 births, 2 epidurals 4 natural. With the natural I waited until the involuntary pushing. I hate pushing, worst part ever, even when it's involuntary.
When I was in labor with my son I felt like pushing at 9cm which I just had to wait and wait to get to 10cm once there I pushed him out in a few pushes. I did have a epidural and I had minor tears but the doctors I had said I had a tear they haven’t seen much at all which was a clitoral tear which I didn’t know could happen.
Your obgyn isn’t the one in labor and you don’t have to consent to anything you don’t feel comfortable doing. It’s your body and your birth do it the way YOU want.
I never really understood what it meant when I was asked "do you feel like you want to push?" I was unmedictaed and ended up pushing for 4 hours, so I'm pretty sure the fetal ejection reflex hadn't kicked in, and then I maybe never noticed it. What does it feel like?
If you have to ask “do you feel like pushing”, the answer is no. The REFLEX means your body just does it, it’s not a choice. If your body didn’t do the reflex, it probably needed something else at that time, like rest before the grande finale.
It feels like vomiting. Your body just takes over with strong sensations that you can't fight and just have to get out of the way of. That's the best way that I have found to describe it.
It feels like your body literally pushing the baby out when a contraction hits. There is NO FIGHTING IT. It is entirely involuntary. My son was born in the car and my body was forcing that baby out when my mind said, “nope, nope, nope!”
My midwife for my first VBAC was awful and demanded I push my baby out with no contraction. I tore badly and had a very painful recovery and birth trauma. Thankfully, after two births (attempted) at that birth center, I said, “Never again!” I freebirthed my third baby and it was amazing to see my body working (against my will, it felt like 😅), and it was a dream to allow my baby to be born in their own timing. I tore less and healed well (without sutures this time). Our bodies are indeed built to birth!
My baby got stuck on the way out (shoulder dystocia). I felt the uncontrollable urge to push immediately after my water broke, but once his head was almost out he got stuck and I couldn't stop pushing even though the midwife told me to wait a moment so she could try to help me into a different position. That reflex is a blessing and a curse - he was out in 7 minutes but a doctor who happened to be out in the hallway was called in to assist the midwife and he ended up reaching in and rotating my baby so he could come out. I'm thankful for the intervention, but it was not a pleasant experience, I really wish I had gotten an epidural lol
This is sadly the problem with how OB’s deliver babies. A lot of times mothers start pushing with the nurses and then they make her wait for the doctor to catch the baby.. I would highly recommend going with a more hands on caregiving modality such as a birthing center or a home birth environment
@@renemason513 first of all, as I mentioned in the original comment - I had a midwife-led birth at a hospital, which is extremely common in my country (you only have an ob assist the midwife if it's a high risk pregnancy, or if the midwife calls the ob in like what happened in my case). The only reason the midwife asked me not to push was because my son got stuck and she thought maybe if I changed position it might help him come out without further interventions. Unfortunately because I couldn't control it and I was completely in the moment I couldn't change position and kept pushing, which is when the ob she called in for help rotated him manually. Again, not a great experience but considering my son and I could have been injured during the birth, I'm glad the doctor came in to help.
I like to imagine medical midwives and OBGYNs witness a bunch of goats, horses, and cows giving birth. I bet they’d panic, rush in, then claim they saved all the animals from dystocia too.
@@haley2542 what the heck? I was literally there, I know he got stuck because I felt it. No one "claimed" they saved us, they literally just helped my baby come out. Midwifery is rooted in ancient traditions, and not all births went well every time - plenty of women and babies didn't survive. But when midwives started sharing their experiences with each other, training each other, they were able to prevent many complications. Same goes for OBs. Besides, I chose to have a hospital birth. I chose for it to be unmedicated. My choices were respected all the way through the birth. So if it was my decision and I, as the person who experienced it, don't feel like anything was mishandled - where do you get off judging the staff and deciding they intervene unnecessarily? At a certain point your distaste for medical practitioners is just a cover for your lack of respect for women's choices and knowledge over their own experiences.
@@ayeletarzouan6610 You have every right to your own decisions. But birth requires movement. So if you did not change positions to offer your body and baby an alternative path of less resistance so that baby could rotate naturally, then you cannot jump to the assumption that your birth was somehow disordered/dystocia/stuck baby and that injury or death would have occurred without the radical intervention of someone else reaching in and rotating the baby.
Hi.. ia FER is the same feeling as wanted to push my poop out when i’m 10cm dilated? Its not voluntarily wanting to push the poop out but i have this kind of strong urge feeling with all my 3 kids when im 10cm dilated.
I'm sad that i didn't had that experience. For my 2 babies I had to be rushed a little because my babies needed to get out quicker then my body was ready for it
Every birth is different tbh. I had no idea what on earth they even meant by pushing because I knew she was nowhere near ready to come out. Just before I blacked out at the end I felt the massive urge that she was coming out.
I wanna sneeze my baby out. 😂 (I'm not pregnant yet, but I'm planning for 2025 and doing my best to learn all I can to have a peaceful, empowered home birth! 💕)
Wirh my first I ended up getting an epidural and when I felt pressure I told the nurse she said oh you probably are ready, surprise I was. Told to lie on my back(I was so tired I just did it instead of asking to sit or be on my side) we did practice pushes, expecting me to take awhile as a first time mom. Less than an hour, me beinf able to feel contractions before the monitor would pick it up, and then the nurses saying to not push because the doctor wasn't there 🙄. At one point me struggling not to push and pantong through it, and shouting I'm not pushing, but he's coming! My body wasn't listening to no nurse 😂 and the doctor made it in just as he was finishing crowning, but no tears on my end. I could have smacked that nurse though 🙄
Hi.. ia FER is the same feeling as wanted to push my poop out when i’m 10cm dilated? Its not voluntarily wanting to push the poop out but i have this kind of strong urge feeling with all my 3 kids when im 10cm dilated.
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First kid did an epidural and the counting and pushing and it was a rough birth that resulted in an episiotomy and level 3B tear. Second birth went to a birth center and when I tell y’all it was 10000% easier! My body pushed and pushed it really wasn’t even painful just intense and ended up only having minor tearing which was so much better when it came to recovery. Trust the Lord in how you were made, trust your body and find a team you trust and you’ve got this!
❤❤
Thank you for sharing!!
Can I ask what your birthing position was?
Thank you for saying this.
Exact same as me! I'm expecting my 2nd, but my first was a very long drawn out labour with an epidural and tearing. The trauma from the labour and length of time spending pushing affected my breast milk and that didn't come for a week. The whole thing was so horrible.
For this 2nd birth I'm really aiming for a home birth with as little interventions as possible (if I can help it!)
Hi Bridget, I'm Lora Collins. I'm 63 years old and I am a retired childbirth educator and doula. I am SO proud of the work you are doing. This information is needed to empower young mothers to own their childbirth experience. I showed this video to my husband who is a chiropractor and he was deeply impressed. He has a lot of young mothers coming through his practice and we have decided to send any pregnant mothers to your course and your TH-cam channel. Thank you so much for this. The world needs your voice and your knowledge.
I so appreciate this! Also, I love chiropractors especially during pregnancy! I'm always encouraging moms to get chiropractic care!
Isn't she just awesome 😍👌🙏
That she is, may the Lord bless her always 🙏🏼 @@angelocean5556
Such a beautiful and encouraging comment!
I am not mature enough to have a husband who touches women as a career
I love this. with baby number three, I stayed in the shower of my hospital room, swaying and humming. No one checked me, so we didn’t know how dilated I was. I came out of the shower so they could take my blood pressure and check my progress, but we didn’t make it 😂 my body just started pushing her down. I said “I think I’m pushing” so I got on all four and two pushes later I had my little girl.
It was so different than my epidural births (which I was expecting to get this time! Just didn’t make it). I felt like a million bucks and it really didn’t hurt like I thought it would.
Love this recovery story❤ You're one strong mama. Bravo
Did you exercise regularly? I haven't been consistent but my mom frequently tells me that if I don't start walking regularly I will probably have a rough delivery.
@ no! I mean, I was active because I had two other small kids. But I actually broke my big toe at 7 months pregnant!! Movement is truly your best friend when pregnant, if it can be followed a good rest. But I climbed a lot of stairs everyday and chased kids.
Oh yeah I was wondering what on earth I could do to make labor easier, and I first hear you say don’t push, yeah. I gave birth naturally to 4 kids and I haven’t pushed any of them. I just breathe. I can attest to this video to be facts
Thank you for sharing!
I had my son about 3 months ago at home and I let my contractions push him out. It was a wild feeling! It only took about 16 minutes once the pushing contractions started and I had no tearing and of course a lovely baby boy now!!
Experiencing the FER was the most incredible feeling. It’s like the body goes on autopilot and it’s incredibly empowering to know that my body is doing what it was designed for!!
I ended up getting an epidural, but kept doing the breathwork I had been practicing during my pregnancy. I would watch the monitor for contractions, then breathe. It helped SO much even though I had an epidural, and I kept progressing along and only pushed a few times, maybe 3 or 4? I tore but since I was already numb I didn't feel it, so I'm thankful for that.
So even if you do end up doing a medicated birth, breath work helps!!
Thanks for this! I plan to get an epidural but at the same time am trying to research as much as possible to do what’s best for me and baby!
WISH I could show this to the horrible nurse who was telling me not to push and trying to scare me and saying I would tear if I didn’t stop. She had clearly never been through birth her self nor did she have enough knowledge or sympathy to be a nurse. Luckily I quickly asked her to leave and the next nurse said “oh yeah you definitely cannot control the urge to push but try not to add to the push reflex until we’re ready”.
As a man I seriously don't know how some people think it's okay to tell someone with a baby in there vagina what they can and can't do.
Way to speak up and get a nurse who you resonated with!
Communication styles can definitely affect your experience, even if they're essentially saying the same thing ❤
Way to go for you to advocate for yourself! I wish I had been that confident with my first 💔
Before I birthed my first baby, our Bradley Method birth coach told me to wait for that urge to push even if I reached 10cm, so that’s what I did for the birth of our first but also our other 3 children. They all were born in 1-2 relatively easy pushes which was maybe 5 minutes-and with no tearing 🙌🏻
Did you use epidural?
@@hadasgold6511 No
hey please share some tips to avoid stiches n tear
@ranijadhav8241 look up the Bradley Method she mentioned
@@ranijadhav8241for me, I was specifically told not to push until I had the urge to, and at the very end (if possible) not to push too hard while they’re crowning to let them come out slowly so your tissue has time to gradually stretch. Very difficult during ring of fire etc.
And laboring in the tub for as long as possible (tissue is hydrated and therefore more supple and able to stretch easier) and use of warm compresses on your perineum by nurses/midwife after you get out of tub and are progressing in labor and baby is coming out to keep skin hydrated and able to stretch. Warm compresses also helped a lot with the pain down there while my baby was actually coming out
Thank you so much for mentioning that this is largely only possible if going natural without epidural. Many videos online don’t add that key piece of information and then mamas wonder why their providers/nurses don’t practice this gentle method of waiting for the ejection reflex… it’s because so many people choose epidurals & then they don’t have or feel the reflex leading to more tearing, forcefully pushing, which is allll so stressful and so much more work! I understand their are times epidurals are desired & helpful but the facts around pushing with an epidural need to be more transparent 🙏🏾
My last birth I got an epidural at the very end (9cm) and since I had a break from the contraction pain, my midwife told me to labor down until my body started to push on its own. I didn't really push at all/no tears even with an epidural so it's possible but you have to also wait/have a team willing to let you do that.
@@rachelm.3158this is a great way!! And not only do you need a supportive team but the mom herself needs to be willing to do that.. as a doula I can confirm some moms are unwilling to feel that much pressure/pain with the epidural turned down to be able to do what you were able to. That’s why, I hope everyone takes the built to birth course and develops more coping strategies beyond just planning for the epidural. Congratulations and good work managing with your epidural turned down 💕🙏🏾
@@rachelm.3158also you obviously have a high pain tolerance to have been at 9 cm when you got the epidural 🙏🏾
YES!! 🙌 "Breathing your baby out" is exactly what my physical therapist and midwife coached me to practice and put to use in labor. Let me tell you it was amazing! This was my first baby, and from the moment my contractions started to when I started pushing was 3½ hours, and baby was out in a few minutes! I had minimal tearing and healed pretty quickly.
Though not every woman's body is going to respond the exact same, I HIGHLY recommend seeing a physical therapist to help coach you to learn the right muscles to engage and how to engage them. I was so afraid of the pain and how long it typically takes for a first time mom, but I went unmedicated and though it was painful, I was still able to overall enjoy my labor experience!
I also HIGHLY recommend if you want an unmedicated birth, to have a water birth, the hot water was so relaxing, and as soon as I got my baby out, the pain went away almost immediately!
Just had a completely natural birth no epidural. All your videos were extremely helpful. The nurses and the doctors thought I was crazy because they mentioned 99% of women get the epidural…. without your videos I don’t think I could have done this. Your meditation videos were also very goodand mentally prepared me to push with every surge that was unbearable thank you so much. Also I delivered on my knees for the first time . It was such a great experience I could feel the ejection that you referred to .
Delivered my third baby 2 days ago and was able to BREATHE MY BABY OUT AGAIN, unmedicated; thanks to you!! This is my second delivery using your videos and techniques; 2nd baby was delivered in 1 breath this baby was delivered in 3 breaths. I was induced for baby #2 due to preeclampsia and had to labor in the hospital. I still delivered in 1 breath (push) but the labor process was 6 hours total in the hospital. I prefer laboring at home as long as possible which I was able to do with this birth as well as my 1st baby.
Contractions started at 6:15 AM. I Used your breathing techniques and laboring positions. Arrived at the hospital at 10:00 AM already dilated to 8cm. Water was broken around 11:05 AM and baby was born at 11:15 AM in 3 breaths/contractions. Last delivery I used the J breath and delivered in 1 breath/ surge. This delivery the horse lips breath felt comfortable and natural for me and she was born on the 3rd surge/ breath. Everyone in labor and delivery was amazed at how calm and easy my deliveries are and that is thanks to the info you share!! Thank you so much for what you do! You are truly God Sent! 🙏🏽
I had this with my son and it was a total game changer! I was just breathing and my body pushed by itself. No tearing, 7-10cm in 5 minutes!
Also, for my first VBAC birth I had the urge to push BEFORE I was fully 10 centimeters dilated. The fetal ejection reflex was so strong but I ended up swelling my cervix and had to wait until that went down and I was fully dilated to push baby out. For my next births I still listened to my body and pushing with the reflex felt great for me! Babes were out in 11 minutes and 15 minutes for my 3rd and 5th births 🤗! Such a great tip to wait until you feel the pressure in between contractions. Thanks for sharing ❤️🙏🏿!
Good info. Sometimes you would need to push if your baby has shoulder dystocia and your baby is turning blue. Which was the case for my last home birth. She needed a little help breathing when she was born. And yes, I had a 3rd degree because of it. I had plan to breathe baby out.. but sometimes circumstances does not allow it.
I hope your healing process has ended well for you
I feel you, I had such false expectations after watching videos of 5th time mamas calmly breathing out their babies lol
my home birth was so difficult and traumatic, I didn't even end up having her in the water. She was so big, I tore horribly, bled so much, the placenta wouldn't come out because I was torn inside, it was very painful. .
Not what I expected lol
Recovery was hard, couldn't sit up for days because my rectum muscles were torn, couldn't stand for over a week because of blood loss. It was rough, I had PTSD for a while.
Here I am pregnant again planning another home birth 😅 hopefully the second time will be smoother ?
@ aww I’m sorry that happened to you. I remember tearing pretty bad with my 3rd, couldn’t stand for days because of the very heavy feeling from the trauma. But this time around it will be better for you. I will pray for you. Just had my 4th baby. 2nd home birth.. best birthing experience thus far. Didn’t breathe baby out this time either but barely teared and didn’t need stitches either…she was in the sac until she appeared, lol but the birth was wonderful all the same.
@@leeannacevedo oh I'm glad to hear you had a good experience this time :)
I'm hoping mine will be better as well, thank you, I truly appreciate the prayers 🙏❤️
With my second, I got out of the bathtub one night and I wasn’t sure if my water had broken or if it was from the bath since I had a teaspoon of water come out when I stood up. I called my midwife anyway but told her I am pretty sure I am not in labor yet - no contractions other than the normal BH type ones that I have had for weeks. Within a few minutes on the phone call, I told her I suddenly felt my body bearing down on its own and I couldn’t stop it. I had no idea I was in labor but she did and drove over as fast as she could. My baby came within a few minutes and she almost missed it.
I also think having a good team helps. I just had my first a month ago and my doula made sure to keep me on track with contractions. I labored at home as long as I could. By the time I went to the hospital I was 6cm and 100% effaced. My doctor, nurses, and doula kept me going and even when I was tired and my hips hurt they reminded me it wasn't time yet. When I thought it was time to push and get the baby out they knew it wasn't time yet until I finally felt like the baby was coming and THAT'S when they were like oh okay now the baby is coming. My doula asked if I was pushing or my body was, I remember saying "I don't know but he's coming" then the doctor and nurses coached me on how to push and everyone kept me motivated. Yes it was painful, but somehow I expected it to be worse. And I felt okay after a nap when my baby was out. I 😆
In the past I felt like bearing down and it was uncontrollable but with my most recent baby I felt like pushing but I felt like i was going to tear if I didn’t hold back a little bit. I was able to control my breath and pace my pushing a little bit to be more gentle and use some pressure to push his head down with my hand as well to help navigate him out and I had almost no tearing at all. Listening to your body is the way!
I had a successful VBAC - thanks to your videos and me believing you that I was built to birth!! However, as soon as I hit 10cm my midwife had me start pushing and I pushed for 2 hours - with no joy!! After 1.5 hours I did start to have the urge, but I was so exhausted (was a 36 hour labour). Ended up having a episiotomy and vacuum to help get baby out. Still so happy and proud of myself for having my VBAC, but with my next birth I don’t want to start pushing until I actually feel the urge to! Thank you so much for all this information Bridget!!
Hi Bridget, I am so thankful for your TH-cam channel!!! I am pregnant again after giving birth eight times, and am still super nervous about my upcoming birth. I will be at a hospital in India, which has its down sides and upsides. The positive part is that I won’t have a monitor strapped to me during labor. All of my labors happen pretty fast, and I usually give birth a few hours after arriving at the hospital. (I get through the beginning hours at home.) My last two births were excruciating.😭 Unfortunately I spent too much time reclining in a chair the last few months of the pregnancies, so the babies weren’t in the ideal position to come out easily. I plan on following your advice better this time! God bless you!!💕 Thankyou for being there.💖
My lil guy is 3 months old now, and I'm still working through the disappointment that my midwife told me that I needed to push during contractions despite what I'd heard (like the info in your video). I had a long labor, but completely without complications or pain meds. When I was fully dilated I continued to down breathe through contractions. The midwife asked me why I was breathing and not pushing. At this stage of labor I think her asking/telling me this was enough to make me question myself- which is super disappointing in retrospect. I started to feel the fetal ejection reflex, I know, but after 3-4 sensations like that, the baby was just in the birth canal, not out. Eventually, after 2 hours of pushing hard during contractions, he came. I honestly think the midwife questioning me made it worse 😭, but in the moment you're so vulnerable! I just wanted to breathe my baby out, but it didn't happen that way.
My doctors always told me not to push when its the baby thats pushing, i don’t know if i don’t communicate well but i have 8 kids and I had doctors leave their shift while my babay is trying to come out, she said you will not have this baby until my next shift tomorrow but i had her before she left the building, every single kid they told me not to push. I am having my baby next month and i am so glad i found you.
Thank you so much for these videos! With my second I had the fetal ejection reflex right after we arrived at the birth center (he was almost born in the car) and that was my best pushing experience. With my third I started trying to push before I had the urge and I ended up exhausted, it was extremely overwhelming, and got a bad second degree tear. With this fourth baby I'm going to really try to listen to my body and be patient again. Thank you for your educational info!
Is the fetal ejection reflex always good? Just had my second baby and felt an uncontrollable urge to push, but as I did so I could feel that I would tear more if I just let my body crack on. I used breathing to control how my body pushed and also a few times waited for a contraction to pass until I felt that things had opened up even more down there. Ended up with a superficial tear and a graze, birthing a baby who had a head so big it didn’t even fit the newborn hats at the hospital 😂 I have a friend who had the FER kick in and she birthed her baby so quick she had bad tearing top and bottom. Obviously this is all anecdotal… whatever is right for a woman during birth, our bodies are astounding and able to cope with so much! Thank you so much for the work you do Bridget, your videos have helped me and sooo many others.
Is the pain unbearable?😢 could you please describe how painful it was to deliver your baby❤
@@aura578 to me it wasn’t unbearable! Tho every woman’s experience is different. With my 1st baby I was induced with the hormone drip and that pain was far worse. With my 2nd it was super intense for sure, but I found it wasn’t unbearable and I could even ‘control’ when my body contracted to a point by leaning right forward on all fours and resting on my forearms. The best advice I can give is to not let yourself get fearful and trust in your body, stay in control of your breathing and keeping your face as relaxed as possible. Also found vocalising with low moans really helped. Wishing and praying for a safe and empowering birth for you!
I listened to your birth meditations during my labor, they helped me relax and breathe my baby out ❤
What was the name of the video? 🙂
Thank you so much for your videos! I just gave birth to my first baby, and had a very fast labor. But after my water broke my contractions stopped, so I was able to follow them as a clear sign to push. My baby was born in less than an hour after my water broke, my midwife was even a few minutes late to the party. I did end up with a good sized tear.
They never checked me for dilation during my home birth and it was the best ! I told them when I needed to push ! No tears!
Oh my goodness…. My son was born in the car accidentally and I 100% experienced this. I was not preparing for a natural birth but it’s what I’m planning for this go-round (baby #3). It was so surreal for my body to be forcing that baby out with no input from myself.
Hey, I gave birth to my second in the car😅. She was way easier then my son's birth. I did have to do some pushing but I felt strong urges to push and couldn't bear the pressure anymore. I got her out in 10 to 15 minutes. With my son I didn't feel any urges to push, but just horrible pressure and it took me 30 minutes to get him out, I pushed so hard, it felt like I was going to explode and my eyes balls were going to pop out, unfortunately that caused an second degree tear. I birthed both of them naturally.
@@natalieschick6974 way to go! I agree, the car birth was way easier 😂
I am due next year but I am curious already how the whole birth thing goes. Thanks for all the info. I am scared the hospital might not listen to my wishes. I feel like everyone is doing a basic routine. Even the ultrasounds are like a random walk to the store and back. I am thankful for channels like yours otherwise I will learn absolutely nothing.
Same here
I had an unplanned hospital birth for my last one (was on vacation) and the nurse tried to tell me I had to lie down so the nurses could help deliver the baby and I just straight up refused. She also told me to stop pushing at one point which I ignored cause I didn't have control over her coming out
Basically make sure you and your midwife or partner or mother or whoever is there with you knows what you want and you do you. They won't/can't physically force you to do anything...except I guess if you or baby are in danger
I just can't believe that so many mum's are still lead to believe that labour on their backs is the way to go! We're told the whole pregnancy to avoid being on our backs as much as possible. Why? So the baby can be encouraged into a better position for labour (ie to avoid a breech baby labour position)! How on earth is the recommendation suddenly any different during labour itself?! Sure the baby won't go into breech position mid-labour but, logically, if laying on your back would encourage the baby into unideal positions pre-labour, it only makes sense that this should surly also be avoided if possible/desired...
Just a first-time expecting mum expressing some thoughts based on what I've watched and read. In the end, your personal choices are your own to make! X
Thank you for your content. You did a phenomenal job with this video. I have had 2 unmedicated deliveries, and anticipating my 3rd and first home birth. You hit everything so concisely and eloquently. You helped me immensely!
I JUST listened to a podcast about this. So comforting to know that our bodies know what to do ❤
I was looking forward to trying to breathe my baby out with my first birth. Unfortunately my baby was in distress due to nuchal cord and I had to "purple push" along with a vacuum assist to get him out quickly, which resulted in a third degree tear. I almost had to get a c-section, so I am glad that I was able to have my baby vaginally at all, and grateful the he was delivered safely. I hope I get a chance to try again with my second baby.
With my first, I got too excited and started pushing when I only sort of had an urge to push but I didn't have the FER yet which resulted in me becoming exhausted, having a hard time pushing with contractions, and being in a lot of pain. The FER was like a hail mary, it felt like I finally had help and I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Dare I say, it felt relieving.
I had no idea about this. this is the kind of information that leaves me a bit more tranquil. Thank you!
It’s kind of ironic women are commenting how much easier their births were with kid #2 or #3…well DUH! Epidural or not, your body typically gets more efficient and familiar with the birthing process whether it’s medicated or not. This is coming from a mama of 3 who got an epidural each time. Every delivery was faster and easier than the last. Not saying unmedicated is bad, just saying epidurals aren’t either if that’s what helps a mama relax and get baby out smoothly. A lot of people bash epidural births but they can also be beautiful and great!
About to birth #7. I didn't listen to my midwife with #1, so pushing was very hard and she had to push back a cervical lip. Didn't have to push at all with #2 because he was breech and came super fast and my body did all the work. #3 was face up, so I did have to push really hard but I did experience the reflex with her as well. Contractions on top of contractions. It was awful. Have good posture and get chiro all during pregnancy to avoid a posterior baby. Trust me. #4 was easy-- 4 minutes of not very hard pushing. I only didn't get the reflex much cause I had an epidural with her cause I didn't trust my body. She was born 2 months after my 3rd passed away from cancer. Labor was weird and irregular and I was tired and worried I'd be in labor many more hours. I ignored intuition that told me she'd come out easy. I'll never do an epidural again. Not worth it to me.
Baby #5 was unassisted at home and another breech. Some pushing, but painless and easy. Baby #6 was during marital separation and with too many people in my space, so was very hard. Lots of pushing.
Marriage is reconciled and I have so much peace with this one. My space is all set up and I'm having contractions as I watch this.
Wow you have gone through so much ❤
I agree, but I think some mother's are anxious and instead of relaxing and letting your body do the work they get wound up and stressed. My last child which I had 38 years ago , I was able to stand during labor and then my doctor brought in a bar which I held onto and was in a squatting position and my son came out almost effortlessly. The reason I was standing and squatting is that at the time I didn't know it but I had a fractured vertibrae and everytime the nurses wanted me to lay down it was excrutiating.
I had hoped that would happen for me, but I had an intense labor that lasted for 4 days (I planned to have an unassisted home birth). I was exhausted, went to the hospital, I was fully dilated, and I had to push really hard to get him out, but it was over in minutes. I tried many position and exercises at home to help labor. Every birth is different. ❤️
This is great! My 20 year old was born with two easy pushes at the very end. I had a caesarean for my first and long story short, I didn’t know what to expect for my VBAC and thought I would not be ready to push and resisted the urge to push for around 1/2 an hour. At this time I said to my midwife that the urge to push was definitely a thing. My daughter was born calm, so much so, she was asleep. People don’t seem to believe me, now I know it’s actually a thing…
I was told to push at 9 cam to get the last cm get unstuck from the cervix and I never had that feeling of needing to push and then it took forever for me pushing and I felt like I sucked at doing it… but I was being instructed to and it was my first birth. This next time I really hope I can speak up and wait for that need to get that baby out and not have to “push” with all my might like last time.
I felt it for my first child but with my second i had to push because her heart rate drop drastically, i pushed three Times and she was out. Sometimes pushing is necessary. I précise, for my first child i had an épidural and i felt everything, i was able to move and felt the urge of pushing (the pain too when he got out), just to say that épidural helped me during labor (it was long) but disn't kept me from feeling everything, it's not evil.
I just had my first and was on an epidural; labor took way longer than needed because I wasn’t pushing properly and thought I was (kept ended up being Ab pushes instead of stool pushes). I really wanna learn how to push effectively while on an epidural, I’m afraid of birthing naturally (I tried and couldn’t get through the pain when reaching 6cm). I tried doing some breathing and other methods I learned from this channel and others and just got super discouraged and disappointed. I also ended up getting an episiotomy and tearing too.
However, I do wanna try again if we’re blessed with another child. I need all the support and help I can get lol
Some of these videos are so unrealistic after 6cm the pain was so horrific I was begging for an epidural. They didn’t give me one and I was passing in and out of consciousness from the pain. Never again.
@@rosyapplekitchen635I was curious about this!! I literally got to 6cm and could not bear it anymore. I begged for one too. Nice to know I’m not alone, I thought I failed at the task to go natural lol.
I know every woman’s body is different and laboring etc. but still 😅
Definitely gonna try this when i go into labor in a few months. My last delivery was so difficult because i wasnt pushing productively. my husband says i was pushing for more than 2-3 hours (i dont remember cuz i was feeling so out of it at that point).
What advice do you have for someone who must be induced early due to medical reasons?
I gave birth to my baby boy at 42 weeks 4 days (3,45kg).
My mom had an induction at 42 weeks so my midwife told me at 40 weeks, "oh yeah you're definitely going over 42 weeks, just you relax." 😂
And she was right! The labour was very intense though, started at 8am, went to midwife at 3.30pm. The reflex kicked in at 9pm and he arrived at 2am.
I was exhausted!
Apparently it took longer because his hand came out next to his face, AKA Compound Presentation.
Had my midwife been aware of it, she would've told me to push the mental goal post a little further down the line.
Because my husband and I were wondering why it was taking so long!
Every birth is different. ❤️
I had to push my first for 90 min, my second was born less than 10 min after my body started pushing... I think maybe the first time I was too exhausted from a long labour? Or maybe I was too disorientated by pethidine? Not sure. But the second time was so much easier!
Awe ❤❤❤ I love your work and your dedication to natural birth and sharing this information. You are a light on this earth. A very special soul, thanks.
I have a question-during my labor with our first baby (I’m currently 18 weeks pregnant with our second), I felt the urge to push pretty much the entire time. My midwife advised me to try not to because it was way too early (I had 6 hours of active labor, for reference, and only truly pushed for about 15 minutes at the end).
My question is, why was I feeling “pushy” the entire time?? I’ve never heard of anyone talking about that. Was it because I was tense? (I had a very painful birth, back labor the entire time)
OB wants to do induction at 41 weeks. I’m 40 weeks this Friday, just had a chiropractic adjustment to help open up the pelvis so baby can (hopefully) come soon. Praying for a natural, unmedicated, physiologic birth!
If you want to wait to go into labor naturally, just wait. If you decide induction, that’s your choice. YOU have the power… YOU get to decide.
Stay home as long as you can, or birth at home. You’ll be surprised what you are capable of doing without interventions.
@@hannahlawson1039 that’s the plan! Less time at the hospital = less push for interventions so the plan is to labor at home as much as possible.
Why do they want to do it at 41 weeks? Can you discuss going longer with supervision ( like a non stress test)
@@patriciaa6649 Natural sometimes means birth at 42 weeks… or 43 weeks… or 44 weeks! Going by a deadline is not natural.
What happens if Mum is ready to push because the fetal injection is happening, but they’re not 10 cm dilated? Thank you ❤
The not pushing thing made sense to me the first time I heard it because when I was 16 I had a bad UTI and first outbreak of general herpes and my body had a hard time using the toilet for like a week. Finally I was holding it in so bad that when I sat on the toilet my body was like “I don’t care how much it’s going to hurt because this is going to hurt so much more if it stays in” and my body pushed against my mental will and struggle. I was so happy that my minds fear couldn’t hold it back any longer.
You hit the nail on the head… the four letter word beginning with F…. Fear.
I have had two births. One in the hospital with a midwife and then one in the car on accident while traveling to the birth center. My first birth wasn't too great. I didn't feel any strong urges for me to push execpt for extreme amount of pressure, unfortunately i was having hard time communicating what i was feeling to my midwife and my husband due to the pain. I ended up pushing for 30 minutes and pushed so hard i felt like i was going to explode and my eye balls were going to pop out, this caused a second degree tear. I was happy we were at the hospital, just because my son need to go to the Nicu, he was born at 37 weeks. With my second i did feel strong urges to push and a whole bunch of pressure. I didn't breath her out because it felt like i needed to do a bit of pushing. I got her out in 10 to 15 minutes by standing up in the car. I really wished i could have made it to the birthing center though, i was looking forward to a water birth, i wanted a water birth both times and it didn't happen 😢.
Just gave birth an hour ago. Not first time. Literally had a freaking bladder prolapse but thankfully my midwife caught it. I was stuck at a 6 for 8 hours. Felt like a lip so my body was pushing for a couple hours. She had to move my bladder while pushing. Omg but we made it!!
You’re a soldier to be here an hr postpartum even if not complicated. Congratulations mama bear☺️
@@Rosecherriesnvanilla thank you so much!!
Good!!! Glad everything worked out
Omg this makes me so nervous. I have pelvic prolapse as well. What positions did you find to be the most useful?
@@DanielleWatkins-bh4ip Don’t worry, you got this! My midwife said she never had to do that before if that helps lol. TBH, no positions really helped.. I felt like I was stuck on pitocin contractions forever. I just paced around. After she figured out what was wrong and moved it, she came quickly! 🤪
Thank you for mentioning foetal positioning. I went into my first labour thinking that I'd just be able to breathe the baby out and a hypnobrithing course had told me not to listen to nurses if they made you push- but as far as I recall the course didn't prepare me for insane nausea throughout labour and an OP baby (didn't know she was OP until she was out) so it was really confusing to feel that things should have been easier but needing to ignore the inner voice from the course and listen to the nurses who knew that I'd need some next-level pushing to get my daughter out. This time around I'm equipped with a lot more awareness of the difference that foetal positioning can make, and steps to try and spin baby before and during labour. Btw I believe adrenaline is added to (maybe just some?) epidurals- worth a look up?
Your videos have been my favorite for preparing my mind and birth plan.
I love your videos and they helped me so much with birthing my first child naturally!
I do have a question! During my first labor I started to experience the urge to push only at 7-8cm dilated and my body began pushing on its own. I used the “horse” breathing technique which helped slightly. How do I know the difference between the fetal ejection reflex when baby is ready to be pushed out rather than what I experienced above? I am going to be giving birth again soon and want less cervical checks but do not want to experience the urge to push during my second labor and push baby too soon when I am not fully dilated.
I’ve never experienced the fetal ejection reflex 😢 Pushing has always been the worst part of labor for me. I’m pregnant with our fourth and I would love to not have to push so hard!
My first birth was a C Section, at 41 weeks, I experienced no labor. My second child , I was 41 weeks and 4 days pregnant,labor was induced after 5 days of prostaglandine and other methods. 18 hours in the labor I was only 6 cm dilated. The pain was so intense, I was afraid I will ask for a Caesarian. I had an epidural. I could finally fall asleep. After 6 hours of sleep, I woke up almost 10 cm dilated. I didn't fell much pain in the belly, but I felt it in the vagina. After 10 pushes, maybe 15 minutes? my boy's head was at the border. After one long, intense push, the head was out and one more push, the body was out. A max of 30 minutes of pushing and I could feel the need to push, but no significant pain in the belly. For me, it was the perfect solution, but I guess I was lucky.
I wanted to go natural but gave in and had an epidural with my oldest and had the urge to push as they were putting the epidural in. It took an hour of pushing to get him out. After that I swore I’d go natural, and I have. With my youngest I started having that urge to push, so I let the nurse now. She took her sweet time and I just had to push before she came back in. One push and out came the bottom half of my daughter (surprise breech)! By the second push she was out, safe and sound. My doctor came running in just before my second push and had a terrified expression on her face. Strangely enough, she was one of my easier babies when it came to pushing. But I will fully agree that waiting for the urge is so much better than pushing before that.
I had the epidural and only pushed for 12 minutes w/ my first but everyone is different!
My body started pushing my last baby out without me trying when I was 9cm. I told the nurse that the baby was coming and she did not believe me. She kept telling me I wasn't dilated enough yet. Finally, she said, "Well, let's do a few practice pushes" obviously not expecting anything. Within two "practice" pushes, my baby's head was out. To my dismay and shock, she actually pushed the baby back in until the doctor came in, which she was rushing at that point to come in the room because she didn't take me seriously. Despite not being 10cm, I did not tear and thankfully, baby was completely healthy (I was anxious she would not be able to breathe after being pushed back in like that)
Wow what an awful nurse! I’m glad you followed your instincts 😇
I felt my body starting to push, and it was very subtle. After that they checked to find that I was at 10cm. I intended to let my body do the pushing but the contractions were so excruciating, I pushed as hard as I could and got him out in 17 minutes. The breathing techniques were really helpful. Little guy had his hand up by his face. I wonder if that's why it hurt so bad.
I’m 40 weeks and four days, this is my fifth baby and only one that is late besides my first the others were early, the doctors are pushing for an induction next week which I keep saying no but their being intense about it, not sure what todo, praying I go into labor soon!
So good! Thank you for explaining this so well !!
Is this referring to an unmedicated birth? I’m pregnant with my first IVF miracle due in March and I’m looking to have no intervention besides a midwife doula
Not pushing is the best way! Focus on your breathing mammas, and your body seriously takes care of the rest! Barring any position issues of course!
I am at my 5th month, had placenta previa in NTNB scan waiting for next scan to get to know any change in placement position. My question is is possible to have vaginal delivery in this condition and what is placenta birth? Does it gets removed just after delivery?
Please please listen to Bridget. I've been watching her videos since I was pregnant with my first baby, and I've had two babies without pushing and pregnant with my third. Bridget knows what she's talking about
I had elective inductions, epidural both times, I labored on my side, and went to sleep, woke up, got cervical checks and my babies were falling out
Excellent information, thank you
I’m wondering if the midwives at my hospital will allow me to birth in a different position then on my back. I’ll definitely ask them about this at my next appointment but it’s not for another month - does anyone know how to go about this? I know they want you on your back to push so they can see what’s going on but I definitely want to utilize gravity in the process
This is what I did!! My body naturally had the urge to push and omg it felt great to not to actually have to force my baby out.
Wow, I experienced this and I think I'm the odd one out. 6 births, 2 epidurals 4 natural. With the natural I waited until the involuntary pushing. I hate pushing, worst part ever, even when it's involuntary.
Im booked for an induction at 42+1 on Monday..... I reslly want to go natural 🤞
When I was in labor with my son I felt like pushing at 9cm which I just had to wait and wait to get to 10cm once there I pushed him out in a few pushes. I did have a epidural and I had minor tears but the doctors I had said I had a tear they haven’t seen much at all which was a clitoral tear which I didn’t know could happen.
Is this the same as delayed pushing?
I want to do this but I feel like my obgyn isn’t going to think it’s considered a real push.
Your obgyn isn’t the one in labor and you don’t have to consent to anything you don’t feel comfortable doing. It’s your body and your birth do it the way YOU want.
Could there be a situation where there is too much adrenaline and the woman experiences tremendous pain because of that?
I never really understood what it meant when I was asked "do you feel like you want to push?" I was unmedictaed and ended up pushing for 4 hours, so I'm pretty sure the fetal ejection reflex hadn't kicked in, and then I maybe never noticed it. What does it feel like?
If you have to ask “do you feel like pushing”, the answer is no. The REFLEX means your body just does it, it’s not a choice. If your body didn’t do the reflex, it probably needed something else at that time, like rest before the grande finale.
It feels like vomiting. Your body just takes over with strong sensations that you can't fight and just have to get out of the way of. That's the best way that I have found to describe it.
It feels like your body literally pushing the baby out when a contraction hits. There is NO FIGHTING IT. It is entirely involuntary. My son was born in the car and my body was forcing that baby out when my mind said, “nope, nope, nope!”
My plan for labor is to let me body do it's thing while I just try my best to breathe and relax
My midwife for my first VBAC was awful and demanded I push my baby out with no contraction. I tore badly and had a very painful recovery and birth trauma. Thankfully, after two births (attempted) at that birth center, I said, “Never again!” I freebirthed my third baby and it was amazing to see my body working (against my will, it felt like 😅), and it was a dream to allow my baby to be born in their own timing. I tore less and healed well (without sutures this time). Our bodies are indeed built to birth!
My baby got stuck on the way out (shoulder dystocia). I felt the uncontrollable urge to push immediately after my water broke, but once his head was almost out he got stuck and I couldn't stop pushing even though the midwife told me to wait a moment so she could try to help me into a different position. That reflex is a blessing and a curse - he was out in 7 minutes but a doctor who happened to be out in the hallway was called in to assist the midwife and he ended up reaching in and rotating my baby so he could come out. I'm thankful for the intervention, but it was not a pleasant experience, I really wish I had gotten an epidural lol
This is sadly the problem with how OB’s deliver babies. A lot of times mothers start pushing with the nurses and then they make her wait for the doctor to catch the baby.. I would highly recommend going with a more hands on caregiving modality such as a birthing center or a home birth environment
@@renemason513 first of all, as I mentioned in the original comment - I had a midwife-led birth at a hospital, which is extremely common in my country (you only have an ob assist the midwife if it's a high risk pregnancy, or if the midwife calls the ob in like what happened in my case). The only reason the midwife asked me not to push was because my son got stuck and she thought maybe if I changed position it might help him come out without further interventions. Unfortunately because I couldn't control it and I was completely in the moment I couldn't change position and kept pushing, which is when the ob she called in for help rotated him manually. Again, not a great experience but considering my son and I could have been injured during the birth, I'm glad the doctor came in to help.
I like to imagine medical midwives and OBGYNs witness a bunch of goats, horses, and cows giving birth. I bet they’d panic, rush in, then claim they saved all the animals from dystocia too.
@@haley2542 what the heck? I was literally there, I know he got stuck because I felt it. No one "claimed" they saved us, they literally just helped my baby come out. Midwifery is rooted in ancient traditions, and not all births went well every time - plenty of women and babies didn't survive. But when midwives started sharing their experiences with each other, training each other, they were able to prevent many complications. Same goes for OBs. Besides, I chose to have a hospital birth. I chose for it to be unmedicated. My choices were respected all the way through the birth. So if it was my decision and I, as the person who experienced it, don't feel like anything was mishandled - where do you get off judging the staff and deciding they intervene unnecessarily? At a certain point your distaste for medical practitioners is just a cover for your lack of respect for women's choices and knowledge over their own experiences.
@@ayeletarzouan6610 You have every right to your own decisions. But birth requires movement. So if you did not change positions to offer your body and baby an alternative path of less resistance so that baby could rotate naturally, then you cannot jump to the assumption that your birth was somehow disordered/dystocia/stuck baby and that injury or death would have occurred without the radical intervention of someone else reaching in and rotating the baby.
Hi.. ia FER is the same feeling as wanted to push my poop out when i’m 10cm dilated? Its not voluntarily wanting to push the poop out but i have this kind of strong urge feeling with all my 3 kids when im 10cm dilated.
I'm sad that i didn't had that experience. For my 2 babies I had to be rushed a little because my babies needed to get out quicker then my body was ready for it
At least I felt it well both times!
Can you describe about perinial message
Thanks, Bridget ❤
My second was born with zero pushes! It was an intense feeling cuz i felt so out of control! 😂
Every birth is different tbh. I had no idea what on earth they even meant by pushing because I knew she was nowhere near ready to come out. Just before I blacked out at the end I felt the massive urge that she was coming out.
This is something I've always wondered! So thanks for the info :)
Can share midwives near Alabama? Alabama does not have many thank you!
I wanna sneeze my baby out. 😂 (I'm not pregnant yet, but I'm planning for 2025 and doing my best to learn all I can to have a peaceful, empowered home birth! 💕)
Gotcha, so the issue really is telling women to push too early, thanks
FER is an amazing design by God 🙌🏻🙌🏻 I didn’t have it until my 3rd because of epidurals and laboring on my back but WOW the difference in UNREAL
Wirh my first I ended up getting an epidural and when I felt pressure I told the nurse she said oh you probably are ready, surprise I was.
Told to lie on my back(I was so tired I just did it instead of asking to sit or be on my side) we did practice pushes, expecting me to take awhile as a first time mom. Less than an hour, me beinf able to feel contractions before the monitor would pick it up, and then the nurses saying to not push because the doctor wasn't there 🙄. At one point me struggling not to push and pantong through it, and shouting I'm not pushing, but he's coming! My body wasn't listening to no nurse 😂 and the doctor made it in just as he was finishing crowning, but no tears on my end. I could have smacked that nurse though 🙄
100%
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👏🏻❤️
Free birthing can help women avoid a lot of unnecessary interventions.
Absolutely!
Hi.. ia FER is the same feeling as wanted to push my poop out when i’m 10cm dilated? Its not voluntarily wanting to push the poop out but i have this kind of strong urge feeling with all my 3 kids when im 10cm dilated.