It’s weird though, my boyfriend is much more giving and nice to me when I don’t give him the attention I normally give him and am more self-focussed, and then when I go back to giving the attention and reassurance he goes back to like not caring as much. I don’t think he loves selfish-me, but he definitely is called to perform better when he feels me slipping away. I do the opposite, so it’s hard for me to understand. The more secure I feel, the more affection he gets… Not all men obv, but there definitely is some theme going on. It’s like an energy efficiency thing lmao
Not exactly.. she is right.. they love selfish women.. better yet if they are casual flirts and promiscuous! Dignity n self respect is not what they like..
Hate to say this but that's just not the whole story...there are subconscious thoughts. Consider the reason you want someone to be obsessed over you. Is it coming from a place of Low self worth. Are you trying to prove something ? If not, more power to you ! Just saying, sometimes we don't feel very whole and complete with ourselves and people will obviously pick up on it. Just some thoughts
I think there are levels to this... My ex was very obsessed with herself. I admired her passion toward her interests, but it was to an extreme where she didn't try to understand or connect with me. It was always about her. It didn't make me wanna chase her or do nice things, it made me resent her
Agree. I was nice to my ex and he was such an asshole to me. He stayed with his ex for 7 years and she was an absolute nightmare to him. It just shows you that men don't like nice women. They want women who are selfish and put themselves first. Lesson learned.
Works everytime sister. Show a man attention and he’ll ignore you, ignore him and he will worship you!!! Knowing that makes me sad because for me in order to fall in love I need to shower the person with attention but Everytime I’ve done that they’ve distanced them selves but when I distanced my self as well as a reaction they’ve always come back and wanted me even more so from now and on I’ll be heartless ! Ignore them all … Men nowdays are nothing more buy little children in adult male bodies seeking for mommy’s approval
Yes, same for me. When I do care about guys, they ignore me. But when I dont show attention or I dont give a shit because im not interested, they are here running behind me.... that's annoying..
Not really. When you ignore someone and now they want to chase you that is an insecure person playing games. When confident people get ignored, they don’t take it personal and simply move on. Plus think about the situation you’ve placed yourself in now when this tactic finally works. You’re with a male who you’ll always have to ignore or be cold with to keep interested. Unless you’re naturally a cold person, which I don’t think so considering you’ve had to purposely ignore him, this act you’re putting on will start to get harder and harder to do as the days go on because you’re not being genuine. Stay Focused!
The right person who will be kind simply wont play these games with you. They will show you attention, appreciate your affection and return the favour. My husband was this way exactly, been married happily for 7 years.
That's because you probably went into the relationship with the right amount of self worth already. So you attracted someone at that level. People who are struggling with these games are people who attracted someone at a time when they were not at their best, therefore the reason to the need for games
@sugarlips123 i don't doubt it! But 7 years ago there was still tinder, and instagram and many of the other things used in the dating game. Never the less, regardless of current environment, good people are good people, and we cherish the things we care for and love. If you ever find yourself in a relationship or dating someone who believes treating someone they are truly pursuing badly is acceptable-- move on. Know your worth, be reasonable but also self respecting.
Where did you read that bullshit? This is what women find attractive in men. It's absolutely unattractive, not a wife material. Instead a woman who can we have a common goal as a team. And share our ambitions.
Im not a Christian, and I'm not religious, but the Bible predicated that ppl would think this way at this point in time. -that good is seen as bad, and bad is seen as good. Isaiah 5:20
Selfishness also called egoism does inevitably leads to loneliness because it blinds You from seeing value in things other than your self. You become an insecure being with a fake of self worth. that's a fact if you've experienced life enough. When you shall truly Love yourself you'll realize it doesn't have to be selfish. It's best shared. Wishing you the best.
@@gemmasmit3577somewhat, but before nurturing we are also discerning and selective. Which means we only nurture and give those we love, our dependents, and those who are pouring into us. And if it’s in the dating phase, we should be pouring very lightly versus when he is our husband.
@@gemmasmit3577it doesn't matter. Even though it's contradictory to the concept of nurturing it's doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what makes sense all that matters is what gets views and likes.
Your right…. They like women that don’t like them…. Even if he didn’t really like her to begin with… the simple fact that she doesn’t like him turns them on…. Facts
There is some truth to this. My friends and I discussed this. We are simple and nice women and these red pills complain about how an average man cannot get a woman because of the high standards nowadays. In all honesty, they go for women who are clearly high maintenance and selfish.
By definition that proves what the girl in the video said as being wrong. "They" complain about selfish women therfore "they" hate it. Who are the redpills?
I agree and argue with them about this all the time. It's like seriously you cannot see how much level of involvement she puts into herself? And average women do not. But a average woman is turned down and men go after the high maintenance woman. Smh
@@ThoseRedPillGuys I had a discussion about this the other day. The men who complain about these women also want these women. Being the nice girl is as damaging as being seen as the nice guy. Everyone wants the high maintenance person. LOL
legit like 8 years ago i did some self work, started living my life with a bit more integrity, trying to be a better friend, less selfish, honest ect.... and legitimately i thought my friendships and relationships would improve... but not exactly.... because..... when i was stepping up my friendship game, i was less fun, less of a catalyst and enabler for drama, and surprisingly i was the only one wanting to build stringer bonds and friendships with my peers... and not just take from them.... aparent;ly not.... i didnt go back tho, just got new friends....
Same! When i started to improve myself and treated people better they started to hate me.. i wanted to be better but they took it as i am "better then them" i guess. It was a very strange period. I am done with that nice girl who attracted the most horrible guy on the planet and focus on me.
yo SAME. Guys/strangers/friends were much more attracted to me when I was selfish, vain, materialistic and arrogant---before I healed and tried to be a decent regular person, and listen to others and give the spotlight to others
Men have an animal instinct. They “know” (are consciously aware) when a woman is thinking about them (giving them mental/emotional energy). As soon as it stops, an alarm goes in their unconscious minds. It sounds 100% bizarre. I have no other way of explaining it. But this is true!! No matter the distance; no matter the number of years. “As soon as” you get over that ex; even after 10-15 years, they come sniffing back for that energy.
Literally happening to me rn 🤡 once you leave them and detach then they want you but when you’re giving them all your love they take it for granted and dont give you anything
@@ganymede😂I deactivated my Instagram and came back to him dming me loads and then he started seeing my DMS Quicker but when I start the convo or try to write longer replies he barely replies and started ghosting me again like why 😭 just left me on seen for 9 hrs tf ._.
@@ganymedeI got news for you. That’s not a male or a female thing, that’s someone who has trouble controlling their thoughts and emotions. I had an ex like that, over time I detached because of how much I disliked the way she was towards me and others, she came back apologizing again and again. Ofc I had to just stop communicating. I’m not against all of what this woman says but some of it seems a lot more like the things my ex would try on me. Made me resentful and bitter so I had to walk away.
This is true. If you show what's interesting to you it breeds trust. It shows the way you are in a genuine way, without pleasing or holding back. It's attractive because it's clear.
I agree 100%, I've given everything that's expected of women, and I've been cheated on, poorly treated and taken for granted. However, the women who get the best treatment are the ones who don't give a.f. about their man! 🎉🎉🎉
It’s called “not paying them attention.” Then they have the space to decide if they desire to have you as the “rib” of their life. And you also have the space to decide if you are supposed to be his “rib.”
@@Chris_UK. I wasn't running away or rejecting his advances.. I was getting to know him and when I started liking him he moved away .. I wasn't playing games but now it doesn't matter anymore ..
Ladies never take an advice from another woman unless they have a healthy relationship. Just be yourself and learn from your own experiences and mistakes.
1 BILLION PERCENT!!!!!!!💃 Same experience, when I had no time for them, they couldn't get enough. Swear men love to be abused. When I am nice, they treat me like crap. Back to self obsession I go, then. female narc walked off with my ex who was also a narc. At first I was devastated, now I see her as my savior. Thank you for talking about this!!!
This is so true and it makes me sad. I've always been in long relationships and every fckng time they left and then came back saying "oh you are the love of my life", so why did you leave? And I can assure you that I am the full package, fr.
@@Adam-mo7shshe said men not boys. Men who work hard , dont want a woman who is calling them constantly, nagging them , being insecure. They want the woman who is takimg care of themselves , woking out , working on themselves. Not sitting around wondering what you are doing being anxious and crazy 😊
@@tinakuczaj3958all of those men have been married the last 5-10 years because they were snatched off of the market quickly. Those men are useless to us single ladies.
This is so true b/c when I was in AA and focus intently on my self-development, they were drawn to me like a magnet. When I did not want anyone to be near me, they all came.
💯 accurate. It's all about your energy. It's all about feminine energy. Feminine energy is in the moment. Masculine energy is about doing and action. When you get into your head, trying to figure things out, then you're in your masculine energy. That doesn't attract men.
I must be the odd man out. Because I don't find that attractive in a woman at all. I find it very off-putting. For me, it's more about when a woman is self-assured and confident.
The key factor here is long term relationship. This would drive me wild for months, it is what french women used to do with keeps the man on constant state of engagment. But i cant put up with this for years. F that
I swear from one video of hers on her channel she fixed months and months heck probably years of me understanding what I need to do to fix my anxious attachment style. I ended up being unsure how to move forward to it being so damn easy. I wish she had coaching. I’ll take it!
YES. I keep getting dumped for being too nice. They like the chase. When I take good care of them, I've been told that i was wonderful, but they couldn't FEEL anything (because I didn't give him the toxic roller coaser of excitement that his ex did).
Define " being treated the best" . Receiving constant attention does not mean neccesarly a good thing. It s important to have an actual connection, to be able to connect emotionally and intelectually whenever you meet in person. To be able to have deep conversations.If they love what you describe, which seems a woman completed disconnected emotionally, then you will attract the same thing. It s good to have also some personal interests and hobbies but not in an obssesive way!
ITS SO TRUE. I think men can sense when a woman knows she’s valuable and he won’t be able to talk her out of that stance. When they know we know, they want to know what we know. 😉🤣
I don’t know why but this drives me crazy. It’s like a cat and mouse chase and I just want someone who’s energy or feelings towards me doesn’t change. I take care of myself but I also love to pour into my man and if that makes him want to run away I think he isn’t the one for me
I agree with you. We fall in love over time through a mans demonstration of love. For men, those feelings are more immediate. If you have to treat a man like garbage or act unavailable for him to come around, hes not the one for you.
@@TheJJDailyI deactivated my Instagram and came back to him dming me loads and then he started seeing my DMS Quicker but when I start the convo or try to write longer replies he barely replies and started ghosting me again like why 😭 just left me on seen for 9 hrs tf ._. but then he talks about marrisge but I barely know hin
I think because you’re married you are out of touch with current dating. What she is saying is true… we as women have to stope expecting men to love us like women do. Why do so many women get hurt by trying to love their man more and over loving them. But the women in long term relationships, they don’t put all their energy into their men… when we are desperate or hyper focused on men… it always hurts us.
Sooo true! I remember I gave up on men one day and decided I was gonna completely devote my time to myself and my goals and boom, either I would meet a guy or someone new or from my past would dm me the same day I stopped thinking about them
So true. Ive been given the most attention when im obsessed about myself and my things. Like, sitting with them but dozed off about something else while in their presence.
lol ladies listen to this advice of you want to. You’ll get a man for sure but you won’t retain him. Why you might ask…because eventually he’ll move on to someone who’s as focused on him as he is of her. Reciprocation is key and it may not look the same but mess around and take this advice of you want to, you’ll find out real quick when he leaves you for Suzy homemaker. Also, if you’re searching for what attracts a man, why not just follow advice BY MEN or women who have men in their life.
I agree! What these women don’t realize is that at some point either he will get bored and move on or just find someone more interesting or attentive to him.
A bit yes... but it can't be like that continuously... a man needs to feel that you value his attention, and that you reciprocate.. otherwise its just head games, and time to bail...
A woman will value your attention only if you treat her with dignity and respect. Women love feeling centered and cared for when your full attention is on them. Pretty sure that’s the point of this video. Prove that your attention is only on you, not other women, and yea… she will value that attention. I valued a guys attention when he proved he had my full attention… A lot of women are (I am,) love dovey when they feel valued
@@AyaNichelle-gi9cd basically when a guy can make you feel special. When hes only interested in you, and his eyes aren't constantly wandering, or on the pursuit for the prettiest thing around the corner. Its super easy to pick up on since a lot of guys often feel helpless to pretty women (which there is never a shortage of) and we can easily tell when his mind is elsewhere. Unfortunately an instant turn off.
@@lenore_evermore mmmmmm, I totally get it now. Thank you for the breakdown! I feel like that just happened to me smh. that really goes to show how deep or shallow a bond is when someone can just move on to the next pretty/shiny element that catches their attention
@@AyaNichelle-gi9cdis not every man that allows himself to be bond with because they know they will never stop chasing or cheating that makes it very difficult for the current relationship and it actually damages we the ladies.
Same they say about women that women love narcissistic male. Believe me! No one likes toxic and selfish person. It's just a trauma bonding and insecurity. Don't confuse self-love with narcissism 😅
So now we have 2 contradictory things about the nature's of the sexes. Either she's not telling the truth Or Women do not like male narcissistic qka darl triad traits. Which is it?
I want to clarify that not all men are the same, and it's not entirely true to generalize them. If you try to manipulate me with childish games, based on your ego, I will lose interest in you immediately. However, I appreciate it when you take care of yourself by doing your nails, hair, or other activities. If we are in a relationship, it should be based on mutual love, care, and attention without any mind games. I am looking for a mature and confident woman who knows what she wants and can reciprocate my love and affection.
You're right. Women that ignore me make me want to fight harder. But that's the game. You give in.. then it's over. I got to show them that I don't need them.. keep things even Unfortunately this is a dynamic in some relationships. But when I see this happening like it's a permanent personality trait and not something humans just do during a trust and bonding period, it more than a proof test for a man Big time Red flag.
So true. Probably because a self-focused woman is a strong woman, and when he was a kid, a mom that knew how to focus on her needs to get them mom was a strong, safe mom who could navigate the world for for her kids. At least that’s my theory.
I believe it. They want you to be about them, but when you take care of yourself you are teaching them how to treat you. They can more easily identify how to provide, care for, and pamper you -when you demonstrate to them what pleases you. It’s a hard balance to achieve.
I think it goes for both genders. It is all about working on yourself, following your dreams, and not being obsessive! Everything in life is a surprise! If you obsess over something, it will never come to you, but if you focus on yourself, things will fall into your hands. It is like you need to stop forcing and allow things to happen.
I don't want him to be obsessed with me, I want him to only want me and to prioritise me, but not to the point of obsession. I personally know codependant couples and it's sad to me. Secure and healthy attachment for the win.
Just did a video about this. I’m coming out as a selfish ( self living woman ) for all the women before me who has to sacrifice their dreams to please others 🎉👑💦🍯🐝
If it is all about beauty, I go pass. If it is a woman who invests on her education with clear goals of future, AND takes care of herself, that is a sure win.
Obsession is never healthy but insanity of the uncontrolled ego, both in men and women. Believe me, you don't want anyone to be obsessed over you. It is in fact dangerous and horrible to have someone being obsessed with you. This advice is exactly what is wrong with humanity.
![[Full Episode] The Restaurant War Thailand ศึกพ่อค้าซ่าแม่ค้าแซ่บ Episode 3 | 6 ต.ค. 67](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/fTfIMFVjt_8/mqdefault.jpg)
"When you take your eyes off the pot of water, that's when it begins to boil." True indeed.
🎉loveeee that analogy
Love this!
It still boils when you're watching it also
I think you mean self assured and self respect.
Try to become the wowman you want to marry …ˋ´… and then get divorced 😁
It’s weird though, my boyfriend is much more giving and nice to me when I don’t give him the attention I normally give him and am more self-focussed, and then when I go back to giving the attention and reassurance he goes back to like not caring as much. I don’t think he loves selfish-me, but he definitely is called to perform better when he feels me slipping away. I do the opposite, so it’s hard for me to understand. The more secure I feel, the more affection he gets…
Not all men obv, but there definitely is some theme going on. It’s like an energy efficiency thing lmao
Is true… l bought the book “Why men love bitches “
@@elenuk3841 I totally thought you were being a smart ass so I looked it up and see it’s a real book 😂
Is the book good? Worth the read?
Not exactly.. she is right.. they love selfish women.. better yet if they are casual flirts and promiscuous!
Dignity n self respect is not what they like..
You mean being in your own frame and not being anxious preoccupied. You are absolutely correct.
I hope that's what she meant, because her actual word choice is garbage advice. Thank you for translating. lol
This! Intelligent answer
❤Well said 👏 👍 🎉.
Law of attraction says you get what you are,
So if you’re obsessed with you, you’ll attract others to be obsessed with you❤
Hate to say this but that's just not the whole story...there are subconscious thoughts. Consider the reason you want someone to be obsessed over you. Is it coming from a place of Low self worth. Are you trying to prove something ? If not, more power to you ! Just saying, sometimes we don't feel very whole and complete with ourselves and people will obviously pick up on it. Just some thoughts
@@oilinmyface787 If you’re truly obsessed with yourself how could it be low self worth at all?
Being self obsessed ain’t cute at all
@@saltandpepperandmint
Of course Not to those who struggle with LOW to No self Esteem…🙏
@@saltandpepperandmint Yeah, it’s not to those with low self esteem…❤️
Men love when you're confident in your own skin. You know what you need for yourself amd respectful
Lizzo is confident in her own skin.
I think there are levels to this... My ex was very obsessed with herself. I admired her passion toward her interests, but it was to an extreme where she didn't try to understand or connect with me. It was always about her. It didn't make me wanna chase her or do nice things, it made me resent her
She didn't love u Dear
@@queenmadonsela3079so true
I agree! When I am nice they ghost me every time!
Just don't overdo it. Everyone sets their limits, I pushed the limits to find where they are. Another boundary to be careful when pushing
Recently went on a date where we talked for 3 hours straight and she ghosted 😅
You mean being needy...
Being nice...sounds like you fake nice.
Agree. I was nice to my ex and he was such an asshole to me. He stayed with his ex for 7 years and she was an absolute nightmare to him. It just shows you that men don't like nice women. They want women who are selfish and put themselves first. Lesson learned.
Men do not respond well to kindness and niceness. 💯
Why? Someone spell this out for me.
I agree completely. Nice guys and nice girls finish last
You’ve been lied to ma’am 🤣
Sounds like she likes dealing with traumatized boys TF 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
From experience or some one influence did you come up with this conclusion?
Works everytime sister. Show a man attention and he’ll ignore you, ignore him and he will worship you!!! Knowing that makes me sad because for me in order to fall in love I need to shower the person with attention but Everytime I’ve done that they’ve distanced them selves but when I distanced my self as well as a reaction they’ve always come back and wanted me even more so from now and on I’ll be heartless ! Ignore them all … Men nowdays are nothing more buy little children in adult male bodies seeking for mommy’s approval
Exactly
Yeah, but its still sad isn't it,, thats we can't shower someone with love and affection and have it recieved ,, appreciated and returned ... 😔💘 sigh
Yes, same for me. When I do care about guys, they ignore me. But when I dont show attention or I dont give a shit because im not interested, they are here running behind me.... that's annoying..
That sounds tireing, I wish you the best. No one has time for playing such stupid games. I hope you find a man who truly loves you!
Not really. When you ignore someone and now they want to chase you that is an insecure person playing games. When confident people get ignored, they don’t take it personal and simply move on.
Plus think about the situation you’ve placed yourself in now when this tactic finally works. You’re with a male who you’ll always have to ignore or be cold with to keep interested. Unless you’re naturally a cold person, which I don’t think so considering you’ve had to purposely ignore him, this act you’re putting on will start to get harder and harder to do as the days go on because you’re not being genuine.
Stay Focused!
The right person who will be kind simply wont play these games with you. They will show you attention, appreciate your affection and return the favour. My husband was this way exactly, been married happily for 7 years.
That's because you probably went into the relationship with the right amount of self worth already. So you attracted someone at that level. People who are struggling with these games are people who attracted someone at a time when they were not at their best, therefore the reason to the need for games
Thanks for sharing ❤️
Thank you ❤
The dating dynamic has changed considerably in the last 7 years just saying.
@sugarlips123 i don't doubt it! But 7 years ago there was still tinder, and instagram and many of the other things used in the dating game. Never the less, regardless of current environment, good people are good people, and we cherish the things we care for and love. If you ever find yourself in a relationship or dating someone who believes treating someone they are truly pursuing badly is acceptable-- move on. Know your worth, be reasonable but also self respecting.
Yes this is true! Men love confident women that are chasing their own goals.
Unbelievable
Then why would they want mens attention?
@@ngeee10 Hu? we don't want there attention. We want there corporation 😂
Where did you read that bullshit? This is what women find attractive in men. It's absolutely unattractive, not a wife material.
Instead a woman who can we have a common goal as a team. And share our ambitions.
Totally agreed! I was a caring emphatic wife and he left for a narcissist woman who he’s now slaving his butt of for.
True, they come when you working on yourself.
In drones for real
1000% true, it has happened to me in EVERY relationship (period).
When both are interested, things will flow more easily. Give the same energy.
Haha, so true, selffocused , selfobsessed and confident!
Absolutely 💯. When you give your attention to them, they take you for granted. Self love is the key ❤❤❤
Unfortunately I agree with you. But it is sad for women who like to give attention.
Yes, I am retraining myself because my focus is always on other people but i'm learjing how to be open to receiving...
I believe you can give someone attention and love while being in their presence but you should shower yourself with that same love when you are apart.
Just give the attention to yourself.
Yes, because these women are challenging and mysterious.
The less priority I put on him, the more he chased me
No man that’s worth your time will chase you
Selfish = self care = self love! I am a firm believer that “selfish” is NOT a dirty word. It is a word of magic, power, and beauty!
Love this!
Im not a Christian, and I'm not religious, but the Bible predicated that ppl would think this way at this point in time. -that good is seen as bad, and bad is seen as good. Isaiah 5:20
Selfishness also called egoism does inevitably leads to loneliness because it blinds You from seeing value in things other than your self. You become an insecure being with a fake of self worth.
that's a fact if you've experienced life enough.
When you shall truly Love yourself you'll realize it doesn't have to be selfish. It's best shared.
Wishing you the best.
@@khileajessup3648 People will do all kind of things to help suit an inner narrative.
OMG YESSSSS!!! I love everything about your comment❤
The male energy is giver and the female energy is the receiver and admirer. ❤
Isn’t nurturing giving energy?
@@gemmasmit3577somewhat, but before nurturing we are also discerning and selective. Which means we only nurture and give those we love, our dependents, and those who are pouring into us. And if it’s in the dating phase, we should be pouring very lightly versus when he is our husband.
@@gemmasmit3577yes which is why men who are nurturing and caring for their wives/partners are the most attractive men ;)
@@gemmasmit3577it doesn't matter. Even though it's contradictory to the concept of nurturing it's doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter what makes sense all that matters is what gets views and likes.
So true, a woman with her own life, doing her own thing will attract everything she needs!!👌
It's true, if you give them more then they give you they think you desperate and you become unattractive.
I agree with! When I’m obsessed with loving myself and giving myself queen treatment that is the moment when men can’t resist.
Your right…. They like women that don’t like them…. Even if he didn’t really like her to begin with… the simple fact that she doesn’t like him turns them on…. Facts
There is some truth to this. My friends and I discussed this. We are simple and nice women and these red pills complain about how an average man cannot get a woman because of the high standards nowadays. In all honesty, they go for women who are clearly high maintenance and selfish.
Absolutely. They are speaking out of both sides of their face. Two faced in their doctrine pretty much
By definition that proves what the girl in the video said as being wrong. "They" complain about selfish women therfore "they" hate it.
Who are the redpills?
That's why most of us run off with your Bessie mate !!
I agree and argue with them about this all the time. It's like seriously you cannot see how much level of involvement she puts into herself? And average women do not. But a average woman is turned down and men go after the high maintenance woman. Smh
@@ThoseRedPillGuys I had a discussion about this the other day. The men who complain about these women also want these women. Being the nice girl is as damaging as being seen as the nice guy. Everyone wants the high maintenance person. LOL
Yes, I have learn this as well. It’s not selfish, but remember that your happiness & joy doesn’t come from another person.
legit like 8 years ago i did some self work, started living my life with a bit more integrity, trying to be a better friend, less selfish, honest ect.... and legitimately i thought my friendships and relationships would improve... but not exactly.... because..... when i was stepping up my friendship game, i was less fun, less of a catalyst and enabler for drama, and surprisingly i was the only one wanting to build stringer bonds and friendships with my peers... and not just take from them.... aparent;ly not.... i didnt go back tho, just got new friends....
well done...! Quality matters, not quantity (of friends)
Same! When i started to improve myself and treated people better they started to hate me.. i wanted to be better but they took it as i am "better then them" i guess. It was a very strange period. I am done with that nice girl who attracted the most horrible guy on the planet and focus on me.
yo SAME. Guys/strangers/friends were much more attracted to me when I was selfish, vain, materialistic and arrogant---before I healed and tried to be a decent regular person, and listen to others and give the spotlight to others
I finally put into practice everything I have learnt from you and MY GOD you were not wrong!!!!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂wow
Men have an animal instinct. They “know” (are consciously aware) when a woman is thinking about them (giving them mental/emotional energy). As soon as it stops, an alarm goes in their unconscious minds. It sounds 100% bizarre. I have no other way of explaining it. But this is true!! No matter the distance; no matter the number of years. “As soon as” you get over that ex; even after 10-15 years, they come sniffing back for that energy.
Facts💯💯
Literally happening to me rn 🤡 once you leave them and detach then they want you but when you’re giving them all your love they take it for granted and dont give you anything
@@ganymede😂I deactivated my Instagram and came back to him dming me loads and then he started seeing my DMS Quicker but when I start the convo or try to write longer replies he barely replies and started ghosting me again like why 😭 just left me on seen for 9 hrs tf ._.
😂😂😂
@@ganymedeI got news for you. That’s not a male or a female thing, that’s someone who has trouble controlling their thoughts and emotions. I had an ex like that, over time I detached because of how much I disliked the way she was towards me and others, she came back apologizing again and again. Ofc I had to just stop communicating. I’m not against all of what this woman says but some of it seems a lot more like the things my ex would try on me. Made me resentful and bitter so I had to walk away.
This is true. If you show what's interesting to you it breeds trust. It shows the way you are in a genuine way, without pleasing or holding back. It's attractive because it's clear.
So true. He loves it when I compliment myself.
I agree 100%, I've given everything that's expected of women, and I've been cheated on, poorly treated and taken for granted. However, the women who get the best treatment are the ones who don't give a.f. about their man! 🎉🎉🎉
I wonder why that is...
Curious does lizzo get good treatment from men?
It’s called “not paying them attention.” Then they have the space to decide if they desire to have you as the “rib” of their life. And you also have the space to decide if you are supposed to be his “rib.”
You are right
Got ghosted for reciprocating his feelings.. he was pursuing me for months and when i started showing interest he ghosted
Na, men don't play games, they won't chase forever, you took too long to reciprocate, " chased me for months " he moved on
@@Chris_UK. I wasn't running away or rejecting his advances.. I was getting to know him and when I started liking him he moved away .. I wasn't playing games but now it doesn't matter anymore ..
Don’t worry, the same happened to me and the ones who are chasing me are the ones I completely ignore
Nope , he ghosted because he did not want to be with you . Men like to be reciprocated, no games . They stay when they like the woman
@@bellabriggs1393 who told you that men don't play games 🙄 are you a pick me girl?
Truth. I'd even go so far as saying, they like bad women.
Ladies never take an advice from another woman unless they have a healthy relationship.
Just be yourself and learn from your own experiences and mistakes.
Thank you I think I needed to hear that
Best comment
Exactly
In a healthy relationship, it’s true. He likes me more when I’m taking care of myself.
She's happily married though:)
1 BILLION PERCENT!!!!!!!💃
Same experience, when I had no time for them, they couldn't get enough.
Swear men love to be abused.
When I am nice, they treat me like crap.
Back to self obsession I go, then.
female narc walked off with my ex who was also a narc. At first I was devastated, now I see her as my savior.
Thank you for talking about this!!!
Pornhub statistics show that women love abuse more than men.
I agree! 😅 every time I’m off doing my thing, here he comes with a text, “what are you up to” lol
He's insecure. You should be the one texting me and be worried about where I am
Girl that shit won’t last!
Same, like, it's true
It’s true.
This is so true and it makes me sad. I've always been in long relationships and every fckng time they left and then came back saying "oh you are the love of my life", so why did you leave? And I can assure you that I am the full package, fr.
This happens with me everytime. I have dated two people in my life and my both exes came back after breakup telling they only wants me. Lmao😂
Gay guy here<
Nailed it!!! You GET it… I love a woman who just says it⚡️🥰
Most men like an equally competent partner in love with their feminine charms
No they don't
@@Adam-mo7shshe said men not boys. Men who work hard , dont want a woman who is calling them constantly, nagging them , being insecure. They want the woman who is takimg care of themselves , woking out , working on themselves. Not sitting around wondering what you are doing being anxious and crazy 😊
True. Some men like more masculine women. That’s probably not what you were implying with your comment, though
@@tinakuczaj3958all of those men have been married the last 5-10 years because they were snatched off of the market quickly. Those men are useless to us single ladies.
This is so true b/c when I was in AA and focus intently on my self-development, they were drawn to me like a magnet. When I did not want anyone to be near me, they all came.
The real truth is that when you love yourself you will attract love 💕
💯 accurate. It's all about your energy. It's all about feminine energy. Feminine energy is in the moment. Masculine energy is about doing and action. When you get into your head, trying to figure things out, then you're in your masculine energy. That doesn't attract men.
Men love women who are selfless to them & showing feminine emotion. Not selfish
I must be the odd man out. Because I don't find that attractive in a woman at all. I find it very off-putting. For me, it's more about when a woman is self-assured and confident.
Totally agree
The key factor here is long term relationship. This would drive me wild for months, it is what french women used to do with keeps the man on constant state of engagment.
But i cant put up with this for years. F that
Think about it.. If a woman is accessible all the time her value drops like sand you can get it anywhere but if it's rare they start valuing it more.
It’s so true. Bc when I’m bored, my phone is dryer than a dessert. But when I’m on my F everybody I’m about to glow vibe, everyone is like 🤗🤗🤗🤗
Seriously! 😂lol it's sooo wild
I don’t think he is obsessed with you, he is telling you to focus on him 😅
I swear from one video of hers on her channel she fixed months and months heck probably years of me understanding what I need to do to fix my anxious attachment style.
I ended up being unsure how to move forward to it being so damn easy. I wish she had coaching. I’ll take it!
YES. I keep getting dumped for being too nice. They like the chase. When I take good care of them, I've been told that i was wonderful, but they couldn't FEEL anything (because I didn't give him the toxic roller coaser of excitement that his ex did).
And?????You adapt to men bullshit and then cry when they treat like shit????have some self respect
I’m finally starting to be convinced of this… what a shame & a loss for them
Men really must be loving me right now bc I don’t see anyone else besides myself these days. It’s kinda romantic actually. 💖🤞🏾✨
THEE best!
Define " being treated the best" . Receiving constant attention does not mean neccesarly a good thing. It s important to have an actual connection, to be able to connect emotionally and intelectually whenever you meet in person. To be able to have deep conversations.If they love what you describe, which seems a woman completed disconnected emotionally, then you will attract the same thing. It s good to have also some personal interests and hobbies but not in an obssesive way!
ITS SO TRUE. I think men can sense when a woman knows she’s valuable and he won’t be able to talk her out of that stance. When they know we know, they want to know what we know. 😉🤣
We can "sense" by looking at her cup size, hip to waits ratio, overall size and lips and skin quality.
This is spot on!
Yeah I agree. Self assured and self respect.
I don’t know why but this drives me crazy. It’s like a cat and mouse chase and I just want someone who’s energy or feelings towards me doesn’t change. I take care of myself but I also love to pour into my man and if that makes him want to run away I think he isn’t the one for me
I agree with you. We fall in love over time through a mans demonstration of love. For men, those feelings are more immediate. If you have to treat a man like garbage or act unavailable for him to come around, hes not the one for you.
@@TheJJDailyI deactivated my Instagram and came back to him dming me loads and then he started seeing my DMS Quicker but when I start the convo or try to write longer replies he barely replies and started ghosting me again like why 😭 just left me on seen for 9 hrs tf ._. but then he talks about marrisge but I barely know hin
I think because you’re married you are out of touch with current dating. What she is saying is true… we as women have to stope expecting men to love us like women do. Why do so many women get hurt by trying to love their man more and over loving them. But the women in long term relationships, they don’t put all their energy into their men… when we are desperate or hyper focused on men… it always hurts us.
oh do a makeup tutorial to this makeup! That´s great!
omg so fuxking true - they don’t know how to empathise but will respect what they deem is worthy in their mind, lol
Oh they love it. That’s the “Respect” they’re always talking about .
Sooo true! I remember I gave up on men one day and decided I was gonna completely devote my time to myself and my goals and boom, either I would meet a guy or someone new or from my past would dm me the same day I stopped thinking about them
So true. Ive been given the most attention when im obsessed about myself and my things. Like, sitting with them but dozed off about something else while in their presence.
lol ladies listen to this advice of you want to. You’ll get a man for sure but you won’t retain him. Why you might ask…because eventually he’ll move on to someone who’s as focused on him as he is of her. Reciprocation is key and it may not look the same but mess around and take this advice of you want to, you’ll find out real quick when he leaves you for Suzy homemaker. Also, if you’re searching for what attracts a man, why not just follow advice BY MEN or women who have men in their life.
She does have a man in her life though
She's married. What else you got?
I agree! What these women don’t realize is that at some point either he will get bored and move on or just find someone more interesting or attentive to him.
@@a.h.2667that doesn’t mean nothing. She’s clueless
Babes this is facts!! ❤️ and the healthiest dynamic
A bit yes... but it can't be like that continuously... a man needs to feel that you value his attention, and that you reciprocate.. otherwise its just head games, and time to bail...
A woman will value your attention only if you treat her with dignity and respect. Women love feeling centered and cared for when your full attention is on them. Pretty sure that’s the point of this video. Prove that your attention is only on you, not other women, and yea… she will value that attention. I valued a guys attention when he proved he had my full attention…
A lot of women are (I am,) love dovey when they feel valued
@@gingerisevil02"I valued a guys attention when he proved he had my full attention." What does that mean ? I don't get that part
@@AyaNichelle-gi9cd basically when a guy can make you feel special. When hes only interested in you, and his eyes aren't constantly wandering, or on the pursuit for the prettiest thing around the corner. Its super easy to pick up on since a lot of guys often feel helpless to pretty women (which there is never a shortage of) and we can easily tell when his mind is elsewhere. Unfortunately an instant turn off.
@@lenore_evermore mmmmmm, I totally get it now. Thank you for the breakdown! I feel like that just happened to me smh. that really goes to show how deep or shallow a bond is when someone can just move on to the next pretty/shiny element that catches their attention
@@AyaNichelle-gi9cdis not every man that allows himself to be bond with because they know they will never stop chasing or cheating that makes it very difficult for the current relationship and it actually damages we the ladies.
drop the nail routine plz. I have long natural nails and paint mine but have struggled to do the glazed look at home xx
🤣 Glazed donut or red nails?! Why is he calling me?? It's so true, 100%
I agree. A selfish woman is a woman that understands her worth and strength. That’s attractive
Same they say about women that women love narcissistic male. Believe me! No one likes toxic and selfish person. It's just a trauma bonding and insecurity. Don't confuse self-love with narcissism 😅
So now we have 2 contradictory things about the nature's of the sexes.
Either she's not telling the truth
Or
Women do not like male narcissistic qka darl triad traits.
Which is it?
I want to clarify that not all men are the same, and it's not entirely true to generalize them.
If you try to manipulate me with childish games, based on your ego, I will lose interest in you immediately.
However, I appreciate it when you take care of yourself by doing your nails, hair, or other activities.
If we are in a relationship, it should be based on mutual love, care, and attention without any mind games.
I am looking for a mature and confident woman who knows what she wants and can reciprocate my love and affection.
Starts looking at nails online 😅
Donut nails 😂
Thank you, I really needed to hear this
That sounds a little like mommy ignored me so now I need her attention. 😂
She's right. She gives the best advice too
You're right. Women that ignore me make me want to fight harder. But that's the game.
You give in.. then it's over. I got to show them that I don't need them..
keep things even
Unfortunately this is a dynamic in some relationships. But when I see this happening like it's a permanent personality trait and not something humans just do during a trust and bonding period, it more than a proof test for a man
Big time Red flag.
So true. Probably because a self-focused woman is a strong woman, and when he was a kid, a mom that knew how to focus on her needs to get them mom was a strong, safe mom who could navigate the world for for her kids. At least that’s my theory.
Excuse the mid-sentence grammatical typo
That's not being selfish. Being selfish, in that situation, would be to keep the child inside the house so they'll never individuate and leave.
I believe it. They want you to be about them, but when you take care of yourself you are teaching them how to treat you. They can more easily identify how to provide, care for, and pamper you -when you demonstrate to them what pleases you. It’s a hard balance to achieve.
It’s because they love a challenge. If you seem too easy to get, they don’t value you.
This anecdote was so real
Girl, you are talented at these clips!!👏🏽❤️
I think it goes for both genders. It is all about working on yourself, following your dreams, and not being obsessive! Everything in life is a surprise! If you obsess over something, it will never come to you, but if you focus on yourself, things will fall into your hands. It is like you need to stop forcing and allow things to happen.
I've been treated better because I love me more💖
Can you do a video with daily skin care and your everyday makeup, since you have such a beautiful skin? Thank you so much, love the video too
Is that why my kids interrupt me the second I start doing something I want to do? Because no one bothers me while I'm cooking or cleaning
Soooo true. Just learning this in my 40s!
I don't want him to be obsessed with me, I want him to only want me and to prioritise me, but not to the point of obsession. I personally know codependant couples and it's sad to me. Secure and healthy attachment for the win.
You are so correct , I am seeing this in my lover and I too am loving it. So much more attention from this lover boy 😊
Yeah I am not into this juvenile TRYING to manipulate men into liking me. Just take it or leave it.
Just did a video about this. I’m coming out as a selfish ( self living woman ) for all the women before me who has to sacrifice their dreams to please others 🎉👑💦🍯🐝
How does one become this self-focused?
the best piece of advice i have eva eva heard! ❤😅
If it is all about beauty, I go pass. If it is a woman who invests on her education with clear goals of future, AND takes care of herself, that is a sure win.
Even better... Direct your attention to the awareness that you truly are. ✨
Of course! 💯 …because you aren’t paying attention to their lying scheming BS. They love that!
Obsession is never healthy but insanity of the uncontrolled ego, both in men and women. Believe me, you don't want anyone to be obsessed over you. It is in fact dangerous and horrible to have someone being obsessed with you. This advice is exactly what is wrong with humanity.
True new subscriber here ❤ p.s your eyes color is so beautiful 💙
"Self preserving" is correct, not selfish
This works for simps only, not real men.
Thank you ❤ you are helping us so much 🙏