Author: "this fictional creature is the most foul and cruel beast that slithers on the earth" Progs: "hold on, that exactly fits with how I see ethnic minorities! You can't say that, I obviously believe it myself but YOU can't say it."
The irony is that Tolkien likely based the Orcs off of the Germans he fought in WW1. Even more modern Orcs like the Orks from Warhammer are based off of British Football Hooligans and they were the original green orcs that most others are based off of, and you don't really get Orcs based off of minority cultures until you get to Elder Scrolls where the Orcs have noticeable influences from the Iriquois tribe of Native Americans and their famous longhouses, although I'm pretty sure Warcraft orcs also had some native influences before that but don't quote me on that.
@@Slender_Man_186 It is false. He himself said thet he didn't based them on the germans. In his view both sides had orcs. Orcs is more represantive for a mindset people can take, and acting out this midnset what make a person into an orc. It is more phylosophical. And orcs in Elder Scrolls are strange. In Morrowind the orcish armor is japanese inspired, the long houses in Skyrim give me scandinavains energy, but I guess generally tribalistic to in live communal longhouses so Iroquese is not a bad guess either. Longhouses are not exclusive to native americans though.
You nailed it. Whenever someone accuses someone of istaphobism without any evidence, I just think, “Your brain is so stuffed with those things they just fall out of your mouth without prompting.”
@@gs4011 It's even funnier when it's a member of the group that's assuming a horrible monster represents them. Are they that insecure? Or do they subconsciously think/realize they're meeting a horrible stereotype?
Anita Sarkeesian made an art form of skimming wikipedia articles on a subject once, infering it to be prejudiced against wahmen and/or anyone who isn't Caucasian -- and then somehow making a career out of being salty over it.
I'll take the George Lucas argument here (about Jar Jar); if you see a goofy humanoid amphibian, and consider it racist to black people, then who is the one associating a goofy amphibian to black people? Same also applies to the Orcs of LOTR. And as for the ''not enough diversity'' argument: I didn't see anyone say that about Black Panther...
This gets even funnier if you consider the "orcs are racist" from Extra Credits. These people affected things so much that DnD changed, video games, movies, it goes on and on. These people are poison to art/media.
@@GreenNin9323 Oh yeah D&D Thought turning Orks MEXICAN was a good way to head off the "Orcs are black people" stuff. You know, by changing their entire culture, dress, speech patterns, and they no longer are aligned with evil. It's actually so racist that I'm not sure why nobody can see this.
The majority of middle earth(or atleast what we and the characters see) is woodland areas with a temperate climate that is heavily based on Western European geography and mythology with societies that require little to no immigration and predate the advanced vehicular machinery necessary for mass ethnic migrations. The overwhelming majority, if not all, of the characters are going to be white. That means the elves and dwarves as well considering their own mythological underpinnings that Tolkien sourced from directly. That doesn't mean every high fantasy falls under this but Lotr does. This argument of "there is a suspicious lack of black and brown people here, must be racist" has and always will be stupid. If someone made a movie about sub Saharan Africa under a fantasy lens no one in their right mind would go "wow no white people how racist". Nobody watches S.Korean or Japanese films and yap about the obvious lack of Pakistanis and Somalians "culturally enriching" down town Seol or fucking Osaka.
That Cracked video sounds like they hate the Christian undertones of the story and seem to have an axe to grind against Tolkien. Unfortunately for them, it seems to expose their own racism than it does to Tolkien.
Very often that is the case. These people (probably, I don't know them personally) have an axe to grind with Christianity and Tolkien due to the latter being a devout catholic and building his story on Christian foundations.
@@gs4011 Michael Swaim literally made content of reading his middle school-aged journal, in which he wrote *multiple* cringe-inducing adolescent short stories about combating white, patriarchal, Christian orthodoxies. (Not a single word of that is exaggeration.)
Honestly it's not even that, it's just bottom of the barrel 2012 social media SJW clickbait. I doubt they thought about this video more than looking to see what Buzzfeed was writing about, and then just regurgitating that in video format. There was a lot of that on Cracked during the Wong/Pargin days, which marked the decline of Cracked and the shift towards a more "social media friendly" business model, which meant clickbait titles and a lot of weird inflammatory shit, like the "5 reasons this classic movie is racist" style of articles. Cracked in the olden days was genuinely good, then they started making crap like this and never recovered, much like Buzzfeed. Good riddance.
Have an axe against Christianity, then proceed to make a video where they unintentionally mock every religion or group of people they pretended to protect.
Remember when South Park revealed the black kids name was Tolkien the whole time and Stan heard it as Token. Hbomax then gaslit their viewers by changing any mention of his name
My cousin tried to say it was always Tolkien. I told him to go back and check the games. This is a person who saw a single video of a cop helping a scooter trigger a green light so now he swears ALL traffic lights work that way
I forgot how fucking terrible Cracked was. I’m embarrassed I watched anything by then back in the day. Also, came for the Cracked teardown, stayed for the Cinema Virgin destruction.
The most frustrating thing is anyone who knows Tolkien would know how much he hates allegories. He's not going to make his whole thing one for Christianity.
"The Lord of the Rings is of course a fundamentally religious and Catholic work; unconsciously so at first, but consciously in the revision." It's not an allegory but it was meant to conform with Christian theology and philosophy. That is, the story itself doesn't neatly match the Christian history - in such an allegory, Christ would have a direct allegorical counterpart (for example you could have an allegory where animals crucify a dove or some such.) It's similar to having a Christian novel set in Atlantis. You could write all sorts of strange events, angels intervening etc. but the religious content would be the same as one set in Rome.
I can feel Wolf charging up his energy to make highlights of EFAP 93. The people need to know that Gimli wanting to let Frodo and Sam stay in Mordor and rot is among the least insane takes from that video.
I'm pretty sure Michael Swaim's greatest accomplishment was briefly showing up in a reaction shot while laughing with his wife during a Dave Chapelle special... something that would *probably* get him ostracized by his current fans if it resurfaced.
Tbh pointlesswasteoftime (a seperate(?) precursor before the website owner got hired or took over cracked (its like 2 decades ago sorry for being fuzzy on the details) was better than cracked. Pretty much all of cracked's "good" articles were ported over directly from there. The hill is bigger than you thought
Every bit of western culture and cultural heritage has to be taken down, by being labeled as racist or otherwise offensive. It's so annoying, having to constantly be on the defensive against these sniveling racists that project their own racism on literary works greater than they could ever dream of making.
16:26 Look closer at what Tolkien is saying at the beginning of that paragraph. He isn't calling the Dwarves Jews, he's saying their language is Jewish, as in, he built the Dwarven language from Jewish phrases and patterns.
A common trait of the villain cultures in Lord of the Rings is that “They worshipped Sauron.” They had a religion contained in world, and even then (like the realm of the dead) there were plenty of opportunities for redemption.
Religion in Tolkien is different from the real world; there are Elves, Ents, wizards, Tom Bombadil, etc.... who have actually _seen_ the gods. So to be atheist in Middle-Earth/Arda is just plain makes no sense.
Exactly! He said the book takes a dump on non Christian faiths, but if the Hobbits are allegories for Pagans, why are their lives portrayed as being so idealistic?
It’s not that he doesn’t understand The Lord of the Rings, it’s that he hates Christians and is extremely bigoted towards Europeans and groups that hail from that area.
42:19 You know that whole "CEO of racism" meme? This genuinely feels like a parody of that, this feels like someone doing a boardroom meeting sketch for the "CEO of wokeism" where they try to find issues in media that dont exist, but without a shred of the irony(or talent) that would make any of that funny.
you think racism is your ally. you merely adopted white supremacy. i was born in it, molded by it. by the time i saw equality it was nothing but blinding.
The story about Tolkien and the German publisher wasn't quite as straightforward as that. Basically the publisher was interested in publishing The Hobbit in German and asked Tolkien if he had either Jewish or Aryan heritage. Tolkien decided to reply by trolling the publisher, subtlely mocking the idea of the Aryan myth and referring to the Jews as "gifted people."
@@brittoncain5090 This is why I laugh when people act like religion is a unifying force. Because in actual fact? It's the world's oldest (contact) team sport.
@@brittoncain5090 All kinds of team sports franchises that never (or rarely) interact have amicable relations with one another. Now tell me what happens when 2 teams have a longstanding regional rivalry. (Spoiler: the answers end it 'iot' and 'ssacre' and 'ogrom.')
The Dwarves do have aspects of Jewish culture and history, the entire being displaced from their homeland because of war and wandering to find a new one. But it was never an anti-Semitic thing.
Yeah, Nazi propaganda showed Jews as weak, cowardly and manipulative. Dwarves are strong, brave, and plain speaking. Nazi caricature was of a people that never created anything. Dwarven creations are legendary. If anything, dwarves are anti anti Semitic!
Cracked (the website) was quite funny at first, a lot of talented content producers. They got big with "top 7 things that you didn't know thinged a thing" lists in the 2010s. It was a site I checked daily. The problem was they had a super woke (before that was even a thing) EIC and comic artist that essentially chased away their entire reader base. The pageviews dried up (they couldn't even get rageclicks their takes were so ridiculous) and they faded into irrelevancy. Kinda sad, they had a great team.
Just out of morbid curiosity I looked at the current website, and 9/10 articles are: "4[X] bits of random trivia that [word salad] in your brain! You shouldn't click this but you might anyways~"
If I remember correctly, it was Winston Rountree that was the comic artist. He was first person I can remember that did the whole “Batman is a fascist and beats up the poor and mentally ill” bit.
I think the point when I checked out of Cracked was their infamous video game racism article, which was pretty much Anita Sarkeesian levels of terrible. The one that was claiming that Bethesda was racist because Redguards had a lower base intelligence score in Oblivion, ignoring the fact that the same applied to the other "warrior races" as well, including the white Nords.
@@acedetective7280 “Batman is a fascist and beats up the poor and mentally ill” That was a joke in the _Marshall Law_ comics in the 80s. So even his claim to fame is copy of a decades-old line.
I love seeing racists project their racism onto others. The projection is everywhere these days. Constantly telling on themselves when they begin accusing others of the way they themselves think.
Comparing LOTR to Harry Potter when the "wizarding world" openly sports racism, slavery, fascism, child abuse, child torture and a sport with rules so vague and ridiculous only a woman who's never thrown a ball could come up with? Good take
Ah cracked. They once had an article where they said GPS devices are racist for avoiding bad neighborhoods, and when people were calling them out on that they made an article about how "bad" neighborhoods is a racist concept. They no joke argued wealthier neighborhoods should also be avoided because there's technically just as many crimes there due to things like insider trading.
Ah Cody Johnston, the guy who takes the ideal appealing to white men in total contempt and scoffs at the idea that men of problems unique to their sex. Basically he is a more crude but slightly better Innuendo studios.
Anti-whiteism is the corpo approved bigotry of the BlackRock Church of the UNelected State, and Christianity is the one safe religion to hate and despise, the purpose is to browbeat ‘Westerners’ and attempt to attach a cultural stigma to being from Europe or being ‘white’ or ‘white adjacent’, so that they can treat the ‘out-groups’ as Dalits and Pariahs, and try to bring back a form of the Barbary Trade. We need to quit being cordial or vaguely polite with misanthropes like these fools and clowns, they want to preach self loathing and animosity, but to try and hide behind the shield of ‘comedy’, when they are not funny, they’re just spiteful.
I was under the impression that I've never seen this video. But after they said that hobbits are pagans, something clicked, and I started to remember. Apparently, I did watch it before, but it was so bad that I completely scrubbed it from my memory.
Also, Sam has to pick up the slack??? As though Frodo isn't waging an internal battle of wills against the one and it's corruption every single step for months on end. The one, which contains the darkened soul and power of a fallen angelic being and armed solely with his willpower and strength of character, whilst also battling starvation, thirst, and near death a few times over, and while still trying to heed Gandalf's advice about Gollum!! But Frodo in the heads of these two morons was clearly just hanging out and having a grand old time. Not to take away from Sam and his feats at all, but the disrespect toward Frodo pisses me off.
There is a God in LotR which Gandalf refers to when he's cornered by Saruman, but it's not a focus of the movies. A lot of story was cut from the trilogy to reduce the runtime. There was no political agenda behind removing Bombadil and the other Wizards. Scenes were also deleted for the theatrical release, that were later included on DVD.
14:40 Alright, strap in because I did digging to find both that article and the sources they quoted. They were referring to an interview Tolkien gave where he outright said that he didn’t intend any racial allegory in the creation of his fantasy races, but in creating the races it was easiest to give them specific characteristics. He did eventually say “Wouldn’t you say the dwarves remind you of Jews? All their words are semit*c, obviously; constructed to be semit*c.” So they’re ignoring him outright saying that (apart from hobbits, which I’ll get to) none of the races were intended to be allegorical, and using the fact he based the dwarvish language on the Hebrew language to construct their entire argument. What’s interesting, is Tolkien does go on in that same interview to say that hobbits were based on rustic englishmen. He said he made them small in stature to represent the small imagination of rustic englishment, not to suggest small courage or anything. So they just completely whiffed on recognizing the allegorical nature of hobbits, both by suggesting they’re…druids? And by suggesting they’re weak willed. Completely wrong on both counts.
Tolkien did base a lot of the Dwarvish traits on Jewish culture, as well as the Language. He also stated he deeply admired both the Jews and the Dwarves, it was not a negative stereotype as much as it was basic inspiration.
Self deprecating humor only works when: 1) It's a legitimately entertaining story being told which happens to paint the speaker in a comically bad light. 2) It's deprecation in hindsight over flaws or foibles you no longer have.
Self deprecating humor in person is a great attribute to have. But as writing, just saying ''haha lol, this is totally an issue'', and then thinking that's enough said, is just pathetic. You still need to actually tackle said problem.
@@trygveplaustrum4634 I think the problem is smug deprecating humor. These guys are wicked smug, someone like Shane Gillis or something isn't, or at least not as much.
@@TheStraightestWhitest Also yes. When guys trade barbs in person the guy who can head off a joke at his own expense by going there himself is almost always a good time.
... They didn't even get around to how Lord of the Rings is racist... Also humans aren't atheists. The Gondorans explicitly still give thanks to the "Lords of the West" IE the Valar.
The Cracked website actually used to be funny for a while. Even informative, as they often did actual research into what they were writing about. Then they went woke and political and was all about whining how no one likes transmissions who touch MAPs and crap and everyone was waycist.
One of my favourite references to Beowulf in The Hobbit is that, in Beowulf, the thief who steals from the dragon steals a goblet. In the Hobbit Bilbo also steals a goblet which enrages the dragon. Just a very nice reference to Beowulf.
I remember. It used to be a website I visited every morning and evening. I remember when they still had forums, and people complained about the very noticable drop in quality, and Jason Pargin and his legion of PWOT (forum name) idiots said everybody complaining about the quality was wrong and stupid and we're just all idiot nerds taking articles on the internet too seriously. Now their site is basically dead, all the old staff gone, and Pargin is relegated to writing unfunny Chuck Tingle-tier garbage that nobody cares about. Womp womp.
@@PontschPauPau3451 I was on that forum! Remember one article about Norse Mythology was published that was just hilariously wrong in a multitude of directions. Users on the forum pointed this out and the editors had an absolute bitch-fit, banning people left and right. I think this was in 2011 or '12 which was when I first started seeing a sharp decline in quality. One specific facepalming moment was when Dan O'Brien wrote a preachy article about how r**e jokes are never funny, which was pretty rich considering only a few years prior had he published an article about him enrolling into Hogwarts and r**ing an underaged Hermione Granger. And the Hogwarts article was genuinely funny! But noooo, can't have irreverent humor any more, I'm sure the readers will love you moving over to PC "comedy". Turns out no.
Just a few minutes in my face was trying to cringe hard enough to break my skull, but I’m trying to endure, trusting that all of you will rip this garbage to pieces
26 วันที่ผ่านมา +3
I remember the kerfuffle about the Gringott's goblins from Harry Potter. Good times.
Idk bros, Tolkien said that LOTR is a "fundamentally religious and Catholic work; unconsciously so at first, but consciously in the revision". Not that it is somehow racist or anti-other religions, but they are wrong in saying that it is not *objectively* a Christian story
Yeah, but that's not really what they're contending, nor is it Cracked's actual point. The actual point in contention is the idea that it's Christian PROPOGANDA that wants to tear down every other worldview.
@ I didn’t say the video was competent at all (it’s not, and fundamentally misunderstands even the most shallow meanings of the text), just that the guys were wrong to imply that LoTR was in any way not particularly Christian, contrasting it to Narnia.
When Tolkien said it was a religious work, he likely meant that his religious beliefs influenced his writing, not that it was meant to be a religious allegory, which is what's in contention. Tolkien famously despised allegory in that he felt it was the author heavy handedly leading the audience by the nose toward the "correct" interpretation of their work. He stated very bluntly that LoTR was _not_ allegorical. It's a story influenced by Christianity, it is not a story _about_ Christianity.
@@PepperMcLime I am very much aware. I am not disputing this. I am asking why the video would claim the humans are somehow supposed to be atheists. The best I've got is that they tend to stray and then fall, but that's not explicitly an atheist thing.
Fun fact: The Fellowship left Rivendell on the 25th day of December. Sauron was overthrown and The One Ring destroyed on the 25th of March, traditionally held to be the day of Christ's crucifixion...... Frodo and Samwise going to The Undying Lands is not immortality. Frodo's journey there was Purgatorial (he had been poisoned by Shelob AND suffered from bearing The One Ring). Aman is NOT 'Heaven' and it's not the land that makes you immortal, it's the people living there who are immortal. As for the Khazad, their language IS based on Semitic. Tolkien made that connection himself. But that's not Anti-Semitic (people are stupid). And Dwarves have never been described as having 'big noses' (seriously?). It was The Great Rings born by the Kings of the Dwarves that caused them to suffer from 'Dragon-sickness' (ie - lust for gold). It's because they're not capable of being made into Wraiths or dominated (this is in the Appendices). Appendix III DURIN'S FOLK ............ "None the less it may well be, as the Dwarves now believe, that Sauron by his arts had discovered who had this Ring, the last to remain free, and that the singular misfortunes of the heirs of Durin were largely due to his malice. For the Dwarves had proved untameable by this means. The only power over them that the Rings wielded was to inflame their hearts with a greed of gold and precious things, so that if they lacked them all other good things seemed profitless, and they were filled with wrath and desire for vengeance on all who deprived them. But they were made from their beginning of a kind to resist most steadfastly any domination. Though they could be slain or broken, they could not be reduced to shadows enslaved to another will; and for the same reason their lives were not affected by any Ring, to live either longer or shorter because of it. All the more did Sauron hate the possessors and desire to dispossess them."
I was so excited to relieve the pain from the cracked video but then felt bad when I remembered this was when the famous CV rant was.. than I just felt bad cause cinematic venom did come to efap and had a redemption 😂
The lack of Wolf saying anything at the end of the video suggests to me that he got re-irritated by reviewing this footage before posting the highlight. Like he watched the clip and got pissed off AGAIN at Cinema Virgin XD
Undying lands are not heaven. Hobbits are human, they go where humans go. Humans are the chosen people. Dwarves were inspired by Norse mythology. Norse had no knowledge of Jewish people when they created Dwarves.
The best part of cracked was seanbaby writing articles. He was genuinely funny. Everything else was filler and i usually just switched to theChive once i got done with Sean's article
Easterlings: in the Third Age, 2nd only to Gondor technologically amongst mortal Men (and not by all that much) Only the Elves and Dwarves went further than either (okay, and also Numenor but that was long gone) Easily Sauron's best infantry. They've been attacking Gondor since the year Third Age 490. Even in this opening gambit, they fought a long-running war lasting a casual 60 years until finally defeated. The Third Age lasted for 3,021 years. Imagine a faction that has been on/off at war with you for about as far back as the Achaemenid Empire in it's prime, as when compared to the Present Day. Imagine knowing that just over the River Anduin, to the East, is an entire civilization of people that are well-armed, well-organised and really, _really_ do not like your people, for reasons that are either lost to time or involve a daemonic entity aka Sauron the Deceiver, polluting mortal minds since long before Gondor was even close to existing. More than once the Easterings nearly destroyed Gondor. Sometimes, Gondorian field armies would simply be defeated and routed with massive loss of life against the Easterlings. On one particular occasion, the Éothéod of Eorl the Younger (read: first generation Rohirrim-to-be, from ancient stock of the Men of the North and the Vales of the Anduin), saved Gondor from a combined host of the Orcs of the Misty Mountains, and the powerful Easterling faction of the time known as the Balchoth; whom were a scourge upon the Gondorians and had trapped Steward Cirion of Gondor, in TA 2510. Cirion and his army were fighting bravely, though until Eorl showed up with his ~7,600 riders arrived, things were looking very sketchy for the Gondorians. Coordination between the Orcs and Balchoth, meant that his army was pinned on the West bank of the Anduin. The Orcs had arrived later, when the Balchoth had pushed the Gondorians Northward, over the Limlight River (a tributary river of the Anduin), and hemmed them in from the East, using many boats to cross the Anduin. Were Steward Cirion and his army to fall here, then Gondor would be left wide open to a follow-up invasion by anyone paying attention (and Sauron was paying attention) The Eorlingas saved Gondor that day, and were later granted Calenardhon, the Gondorian Province of the lands which became known as Rohan under new management. The Riders of Eorl had ridden for over 500 miles to reach the Battle of the Field of Celebrant, and were totally unexpected even by Cirion, whom had sent out 6 riders to call for help from Eorl (only 1 out of the 6 made it through Balchoth lines alive, to eventually reach the Vales of the Anduin, galloping as though thousands of lives depended on him; which they did) Outmanoeuvred and trapped, Steward Cirion's outnumbered force was likely going to be picked apart by the Balchoth Easterlings and the Orcs of the Hithaeglir. Easterlings were no joke. The Orcs were being purely opportunistic, though the Easterlings had tactically matched and strained Gondor, almost to the breaking point. Other Gondorian armies in Middle-Earth history, were not so fortunate as Cirion's, to be rescued from their old enemy in Rhun. The Easterlings aren't just a joke faction in Tolkien. They are a serious, persistent, repeatedly victorious and incredibly lethal force to be reckoned with. Sauron sent most of the Easterlings he had fighting for him, to Dale and Erebor in the War of the Ring. They fought the Dwarves of Erebor and Men of Dale, and their Kings, Dain II Ironfoot and Brand (grandson of Bard the Bowman and son of Bain), outside Dale, within Dale, in between Dale and Erebor and in a siege of Erebor. For many days the agony drew on. Both Dain II Ironfoot and Brand perished fighting side by side, at the very gates of Erebor, atop a mound of Easterling corpses. They died hard to help by time for their people evacuating inside Erebor. And there, they were besieged for 8 days. Dale was lost, and aflame; and not for the first time (centuries after Smaug had destroyed the place) Only the news of Sauron's defeat caused the Easterlings to panic. Up until that point, they were winning (albeit at heavy cost against the stout Dwarves and brave Men of Dale) And before anyone says it is always darker complexion peoples serving Sauron, let's not forget the following: The greatest civilization of Men ever to exist, Numenor, wasn't safe from Sauron. These were basically Southern European analogue ancients, literally in touch with the Eldar, Maiar and even the Valar for a number of centuries. They were basically super men living for multiple centuries, with heights commonly in the 6-7 foot range and taller not being impossible. They were the most advanced humans ever to walk Arda, pre-Fourth Age onward at least, verifiably. Why would the Easterlings, Haradrim or Wild Men of Dunland/Dunlendings for that matter, resist the daemonic, supernatural powers of a fallen Maia, any better than the Numenoreans? Again, it's simply not fair to expect mortals to not be corrupted by fallen celestial beings from the literal pre-match musical before time itself even existed (and yes, since the Dawn of Time) Even totally pure-of-heart Frodo was eventually messed up by a _fragment_ of Sauron's essence contained within the One Ring. Even Frodo temporarily lost that struggle. Now imagine Sauron full-force trying to turn the Easterlings to his side, or the lies he could tell them about Gondor's intentions towards the East. Quite simply, the Easterlings began attacking Gondor even back in 490 Third Age, _because_ of Sauron from the first. Tolkien wasn't making a metacommentary about non-Western peoples by doing this. His most prized 'Western people' aka the Men of Westernesse themselves, the Numenoreans, _absolutely got their world quite literally turned upside down and drowned under purging tidal waves with the wrath of Eru unleashed_ (claiming many innocents of the Faithful, along with the evil King's Men of Ar-Pharazon the Golden) Sauron had destroyed the greatest civilization of Men ever to have existed, simply by allowing himself to be taken there as a 'prisoner', and getting to work on subverting the ruling classes and Ar-Pharazon especially. Look what happened to Numenor. It's not even on the map any more because Sauron made sure it was destroyed. He made the Numenoreans under their corrupt King, effectively point a sword at God's head and then behave like this was a wise move. Sauron knew what was going to happen but lead them astray, deliberately. If Sauron can do that, it's not unreasonable to see how and why he'd corrupt many, many others (the Dunlendings were wild and dangerous, and more or less worsened by Saruman, rather than Sauron, but the point still stands that fallen Maiar were responsible) Again, Tolkien wasn't painting Western civilizations as totally invincible. Much of his work focuses on societal and civilizational decline, the atrophy and entropy of all things as time slips away from us all. The simple fact is that Sauron _knew_ he militarily could not defeat Numenor at it's glorious and egotistical height; even by itself, let alone if supported by the similarly extremely powerful Eldar of that era. Again, it demonstrates that Tolkien wasn't just making the Easterlings Gondor's punching bag. Sauron used the Easterlings to weaken Gondor and earlier, the human realms of Rhovanion.
Someone called Cinematic Venom, who they covered on EFAP #93. Who made an anti-LOTR video they spent like 9+ hours covering, and in the course of which he made the point that apparently Gimli wanted Frodo and Sam to rot in Mordor, when he was clearly referring to Sauron after his defeat at Minas Tirith. It was hilariously inept. Apparently they’ve since made peace with him and had him on EFAP.
Those guys are like the creepy old drunk guy at the bar that you decide to sit a couple seats away from just because of how racist and bigoted they sound lol
Author: "this fictional creature is the most foul and cruel beast that slithers on the earth"
Progs: "hold on, that exactly fits with how I see ethnic minorities! You can't say that, I obviously believe it myself but YOU can't say it."
It really is the funniest thing ever to just watch these people constantly and aggressively self-report.
The irony is that Tolkien likely based the Orcs off of the Germans he fought in WW1. Even more modern Orcs like the Orks from Warhammer are based off of British Football Hooligans and they were the original green orcs that most others are based off of, and you don't really get Orcs based off of minority cultures until you get to Elder Scrolls where the Orcs have noticeable influences from the Iriquois tribe of Native Americans and their famous longhouses, although I'm pretty sure Warcraft orcs also had some native influences before that but don't quote me on that.
@@Slender_Man_186 It is false. He himself said thet he didn't based them on the germans. In his view both sides had orcs. Orcs is more represantive for a mindset people can take, and acting out this midnset what make a person into an orc. It is more phylosophical.
And orcs in Elder Scrolls are strange. In Morrowind the orcish armor is japanese inspired, the long houses in Skyrim give me scandinavains energy, but I guess generally tribalistic to in live communal longhouses so Iroquese is not a bad guess either. Longhouses are not exclusive to native americans though.
You nailed it. Whenever someone accuses someone of istaphobism without any evidence, I just think, “Your brain is so stuffed with those things they just fall out of your mouth without prompting.”
@@gs4011 It's even funnier when it's a member of the group that's assuming a horrible monster represents them. Are they that insecure? Or do they subconsciously think/realize they're meeting a horrible stereotype?
"Tell me you don't know shit about Lord of the Rings without telling me you don't know shit about Lord of the Rings."
Anita Sarkeesian made an art form of skimming wikipedia articles on a subject once, infering it to be prejudiced against wahmen and/or anyone who isn't Caucasian -- and then somehow making a career out of being salty over it.
From my understanding it has something to do with an Kiwi singer going to saturn
"Who the hell is Jerr Token?"
@@kdash2657Bro i always thought his name was jjrr tolken 💀 love lord of the rings tho
I'll take the George Lucas argument here (about Jar Jar); if you see a goofy humanoid amphibian, and consider it racist to black people, then who is the one associating a goofy amphibian to black people?
Same also applies to the Orcs of LOTR.
And as for the ''not enough diversity'' argument: I didn't see anyone say that about Black Panther...
Reminds me of my favorite title of a stand up comedy bit of all time: "Jews, we need to stop comparing ourselves to Goblins"
Besides, Jar Jar can swim
This gets even funnier if you consider the "orcs are racist" from Extra Credits. These people affected things so much that DnD changed, video games, movies, it goes on and on. These people are poison to art/media.
@@GreenNin9323 Oh yeah D&D Thought turning Orks MEXICAN was a good way to head off the "Orcs are black people" stuff. You know, by changing their entire culture, dress, speech patterns, and they no longer are aligned with evil. It's actually so racist that I'm not sure why nobody can see this.
The majority of middle earth(or atleast what we and the characters see) is woodland areas with a temperate climate that is heavily based on Western European geography and mythology with societies that require little to no immigration and predate the advanced vehicular machinery necessary for mass ethnic migrations. The overwhelming majority, if not all, of the characters are going to be white. That means the elves and dwarves as well considering their own mythological underpinnings that Tolkien sourced from directly. That doesn't mean every high fantasy falls under this but Lotr does. This argument of "there is a suspicious lack of black and brown people here, must be racist" has and always will be stupid. If someone made a movie about sub Saharan Africa under a fantasy lens no one in their right mind would go "wow no white people how racist". Nobody watches S.Korean or Japanese films and yap about the obvious lack of Pakistanis and Somalians "culturally enriching" down town Seol or fucking Osaka.
That Cracked video sounds like they hate the Christian undertones of the story and seem to have an axe to grind against Tolkien. Unfortunately for them, it seems to expose their own racism than it does to Tolkien.
Very often that is the case. These people (probably, I don't know them personally) have an axe to grind with Christianity and Tolkien due to the latter being a devout catholic and building his story on Christian foundations.
@@gs4011
Michael Swaim literally made content of reading his middle school-aged journal, in which he wrote *multiple* cringe-inducing adolescent short stories about combating white, patriarchal, Christian orthodoxies.
(Not a single word of that is exaggeration.)
Honestly it's not even that, it's just bottom of the barrel 2012 social media SJW clickbait. I doubt they thought about this video more than looking to see what Buzzfeed was writing about, and then just regurgitating that in video format. There was a lot of that on Cracked during the Wong/Pargin days, which marked the decline of Cracked and the shift towards a more "social media friendly" business model, which meant clickbait titles and a lot of weird inflammatory shit, like the "5 reasons this classic movie is racist" style of articles. Cracked in the olden days was genuinely good, then they started making crap like this and never recovered, much like Buzzfeed. Good riddance.
Surely you meant to say Token
Have an axe against Christianity, then proceed to make a video where they unintentionally mock every religion or group of people they pretended to protect.
As an Italian who likes money, im offended he'd assume they're Jewish, we have big noses too!
Wario?
You need money for the badda-bling ovah heeyah
Mexicans like Gold too!
as a mountain jew (swiss) i like gold too
greeks also have long noses and like money
“If Robin Hood Prince of Thieves taught me anything” this is such a fucking hilarious and depressing sentence
A black sheriff???
Remember when South Park revealed the black kids name was Tolkien the whole time and Stan heard it as Token. Hbomax then gaslit their viewers by changing any mention of his name
The fact that they even went back and changed the subtitles for all the prior episodes was devious
I was watching older seasons and I swear someone who said his name actually did say Tolkien.
My cousin tried to say it was always Tolkien. I told him to go back and check the games. This is a person who saw a single video of a cop helping a scooter trigger a green light so now he swears ALL traffic lights work that way
Hell there are episodes where Token spells his own name like that.
@@Slender_Man_186 Tokens life matters shirt is also a banger
The EASTERLINGS?
DID HE CALL THE HARADRIM THE EASTERLINGS?!
Oh, I didn't even catch that! Yeah, Harad and Rhun aren't the same. That right there loses him all credibility.
That's rather racist of them.
the devil is in the details
@@theliato3809 "Looks evil" was funny too, lol. Oh? what makes them "look evil," huh?
yo! That sounds racist!!!!!! thats totally not cool
So these two made a whole bunch of stuff up, and then used that to try to argue that the Lord of the Rings is r*cist. Brainrot of the highest order.
I forgot how fucking terrible Cracked was. I’m embarrassed I watched anything by then back in the day. Also, came for the Cracked teardown, stayed for the Cinema Virgin destruction.
To be fair we didn't have a lot to choose from back in 2008.
@@PontschPauPau3451 Much like QI.
Cracked used to have funny stuff on it.
I love how this guy has to play with Lego Duplo, because, the regular Lego pieces are too small, he might choke.
The most frustrating thing is anyone who knows Tolkien would know how much he hates allegories. He's not going to make his whole thing one for Christianity.
"The Lord of the Rings is of course a fundamentally religious and Catholic work; unconsciously so at first, but consciously in the revision."
It's not an allegory but it was meant to conform with Christian theology and philosophy. That is, the story itself doesn't neatly match the Christian history - in such an allegory, Christ would have a direct allegorical counterpart (for example you could have an allegory where animals crucify a dove or some such.)
It's similar to having a Christian novel set in Atlantis. You could write all sorts of strange events, angels intervening etc. but the religious content would be the same as one set in Rome.
I can feel Wolf charging up his energy to make highlights of EFAP 93. The people need to know that Gimli wanting to let Frodo and Sam stay in Mordor and rot is among the least insane takes from that video.
Atleast Cinematic Venom learned from his mistakes :)
@@thomasgreatbanks1271 One of the best redemption arcs ever.
*And just imagine: Cracked is the PINNACLE of the subjects’ careers.*
They went DOWNHILL from there. How is that even possible?
I'm pretty sure Michael Swaim's greatest accomplishment was briefly showing up in a reaction shot while laughing with his wife during a Dave Chapelle special... something that would *probably* get him ostracized by his current fans if it resurfaced.
Tbh pointlesswasteoftime (a seperate(?) precursor before the website owner got hired or took over cracked (its like 2 decades ago sorry for being fuzzy on the details) was better than cracked. Pretty much all of cracked's "good" articles were ported over directly from there. The hill is bigger than you thought
Every bit of western culture and cultural heritage has to be taken down, by being labeled as racist or otherwise offensive. It's so annoying, having to constantly be on the defensive against these sniveling racists that project their own racism on literary works greater than they could ever dream of making.
16:26 Look closer at what Tolkien is saying at the beginning of that paragraph. He isn't calling the Dwarves Jews, he's saying their language is Jewish, as in, he built the Dwarven language from Jewish phrases and patterns.
A common trait of the villain cultures in Lord of the Rings is that “They worshipped Sauron.” They had a religion contained in world, and even then (like the realm of the dead) there were plenty of opportunities for redemption.
Religion in Tolkien is different from the real world; there are Elves, Ents, wizards, Tom Bombadil, etc.... who have actually _seen_ the gods. So to be atheist in Middle-Earth/Arda is just plain makes no sense.
Tell me you don't know crap about christianity without telling me you don't know crap about christianity.
Exactly! He said the book takes a dump on non Christian faiths, but if the Hobbits are allegories for Pagans, why are their lives portrayed as being so idealistic?
10:50 Frodo, Bilbo, Samwise and Gimli all go to the Undying Lands to pass on in peace, but they don't live forever in Arda like the Elves do.
For the love of Buddah, this guy doesn't understand a thing about The Lord of the Rings!
It’s not that he doesn’t understand The Lord of the Rings, it’s that he hates Christians and is extremely bigoted towards Europeans and groups that hail from that area.
42:19
You know that whole "CEO of racism" meme? This genuinely feels like a parody of that, this feels like someone doing a boardroom meeting sketch for the "CEO of wokeism" where they try to find issues in media that dont exist, but without a shred of the irony(or talent) that would make any of that funny.
One point if the Hobbits being strong willed is that farmer Maggot ran a ring wraith off his land.
Its the early version of the woke stuff
Also Cracked is still going and is still shit
18:40 Dude just conflated the Easterlings and the Haradrim, and they look nothing like each other.
Uploaded only 22 minutes ago?
I get to be one of the _first_ racists 🥳
I'm just hoping the video doesn't have that bearded guy with the OH *_NOOOOO_*
you think racism is your ally. you merely adopted white supremacy. i was born in it, molded by it. by the time i saw equality it was nothing but blinding.
In this video: Two men argue with a field of strawmen; know nothing about LOTR.
Men? I believe the term of art is "witless worms".
The story about Tolkien and the German publisher wasn't quite as straightforward as that. Basically the publisher was interested in publishing The Hobbit in German and asked Tolkien if he had either Jewish or Aryan heritage. Tolkien decided to reply by trolling the publisher, subtlely mocking the idea of the Aryan myth and referring to the Jews as "gifted people."
It's crazy how cinema venom actually recovered from this
yup
Wait for real?
@Marines_Memelevolent oh yeah you didn't see the episode where he came onto the efap show. Completely redeemed himself it was crazy
Imagine being so unhinged that Cody Johnson calls you out on your Reddit atheism.
21:40 the irony is that, in Tolkien’s Legendarium, humans are the only ones to get an afterlife.
C.S. Lewis was not catholic
Correct, to Tolkien's lament he never went all the way after becoming Christian, and he stayed and Anglican throughout his life.
@@brittoncain5090 This is why I laugh when people act like religion is a unifying force.
Because in actual fact? It's the world's oldest (contact) team sport.
@@ephraimwinslow Well it's not as if Tolkien hated Lewis for not being Catholic lol. It's as unifying or dividing as any ideological belief system.
C.S. Lewis was raised Catholic, became an atheist in his teen years, and converted to the Church of England later in life.
@@brittoncain5090 All kinds of team sports franchises that never (or rarely) interact have amicable relations with one another.
Now tell me what happens when 2 teams have a longstanding regional rivalry.
(Spoiler: the answers end it 'iot' and 'ssacre' and 'ogrom.')
"NOBODY TOSSES A HINDU!" - Gimli, The fellowship of Samsara
Cracked always does "7 reasons so and so is crap" and only gives you 3 reasons.
Cracked still exists? It was converged a long time ago.
The Dwarves do have aspects of Jewish culture and history, the entire being displaced from their homeland because of war and wandering to find a new one. But it was never an anti-Semitic thing.
Yeah, Nazi propaganda showed Jews as weak, cowardly and manipulative. Dwarves are strong, brave, and plain speaking. Nazi caricature was of a people that never created anything. Dwarven creations are legendary.
If anything, dwarves are anti anti Semitic!
Jo Longbone's laughter is so infectious!
This one really earned its spot in the Hall of Pain!
(The pain is to be read in Memes voice from the Snyder Arc)
Cracked (the website) was quite funny at first, a lot of talented content producers. They got big with "top 7 things that you didn't know thinged a thing" lists in the 2010s. It was a site I checked daily. The problem was they had a super woke (before that was even a thing) EIC and comic artist that essentially chased away their entire reader base. The pageviews dried up (they couldn't even get rageclicks their takes were so ridiculous) and they faded into irrelevancy.
Kinda sad, they had a great team.
Just out of morbid curiosity I looked at the current website, and 9/10 articles are:
"4[X] bits of random trivia that [word salad] in your brain! You shouldn't click this but you might anyways~"
@@ephraimwinslow haha yea, sounds about right. Too bad they chased away all the actually talented writers.
If I remember correctly, it was Winston Rountree that was the comic artist. He was first person I can remember that did the whole “Batman is a fascist and beats up the poor and mentally ill” bit.
I think the point when I checked out of Cracked was their infamous video game racism article, which was pretty much Anita Sarkeesian levels of terrible. The one that was claiming that Bethesda was racist because Redguards had a lower base intelligence score in Oblivion, ignoring the fact that the same applied to the other "warrior races" as well, including the white Nords.
@@acedetective7280 “Batman is a fascist and beats up the poor and mentally ill”
That was a joke in the _Marshall Law_ comics in the 80s. So even his claim to fame is copy of a decades-old line.
I love seeing racists project their racism onto others. The projection is everywhere these days. Constantly telling on themselves when they begin accusing others of the way they themselves think.
Such nostalgia
Comparing LOTR to Harry Potter when the "wizarding world" openly sports racism, slavery, fascism, child abuse, child torture and a sport with rules so vague and ridiculous only a woman who's never thrown a ball could come up with? Good take
How does the Wizarding world support facism?
1:50 The anti-Matt Walsh
He's the guy Matt Walsh was pretending to be in his movie.
Watt Malsh
Ah cracked. They once had an article where they said GPS devices are racist for avoiding bad neighborhoods, and when people were calling them out on that they made an article about how "bad" neighborhoods is a racist concept. They no joke argued wealthier neighborhoods should also be avoided because there's technically just as many crimes there due to things like insider trading.
Ah Cody Johnston, the guy who takes the ideal appealing to white men in total contempt and scoffs at the idea that men of problems unique to their sex. Basically he is a more crude but slightly better Innuendo studios.
Anti-whiteism is the corpo approved bigotry of the BlackRock Church of the UNelected State, and Christianity is the one safe religion to hate and despise, the purpose is to browbeat ‘Westerners’ and attempt to attach a cultural stigma to being from Europe or being ‘white’ or ‘white adjacent’, so that they can treat the ‘out-groups’ as Dalits and Pariahs, and try to bring back a form of the Barbary Trade. We need to quit being cordial or vaguely polite with misanthropes like these fools and clowns, they want to preach self loathing and animosity, but to try and hide behind the shield of ‘comedy’, when they are not funny, they’re just spiteful.
I was under the impression that I've never seen this video. But after they said that hobbits are pagans, something clicked, and I started to remember. Apparently, I did watch it before, but it was so bad that I completely scrubbed it from my memory.
Also, Sam has to pick up the slack??? As though Frodo isn't waging an internal battle of wills against the one and it's corruption every single step for months on end. The one, which contains the darkened soul and power of a fallen angelic being and armed solely with his willpower and strength of character, whilst also battling starvation, thirst, and near death a few times over, and while still trying to heed Gandalf's advice about Gollum!! But Frodo in the heads of these two morons was clearly just hanging out and having a grand old time. Not to take away from Sam and his feats at all, but the disrespect toward Frodo pisses me off.
There is a God in LotR which Gandalf refers to when he's cornered by Saruman, but it's not a focus of the movies. A lot of story was cut from the trilogy to reduce the runtime. There was no political agenda behind removing Bombadil and the other Wizards. Scenes were also deleted for the theatrical release, that were later included on DVD.
If you listen VERY carefully you can hear the “Last Stand” by Sabaton playing. Thats Shad going ballistic in chat.
14:40 Alright, strap in because I did digging to find both that article and the sources they quoted.
They were referring to an interview Tolkien gave where he outright said that he didn’t intend any racial allegory in the creation of his fantasy races, but in creating the races it was easiest to give them specific characteristics. He did eventually say “Wouldn’t you say the dwarves remind you of Jews? All their words are semit*c, obviously; constructed to be semit*c.” So they’re ignoring him outright saying that (apart from hobbits, which I’ll get to) none of the races were intended to be allegorical, and using the fact he based the dwarvish language on the Hebrew language to construct their entire argument.
What’s interesting, is Tolkien does go on in that same interview to say that hobbits were based on rustic englishmen. He said he made them small in stature to represent the small imagination of rustic englishment, not to suggest small courage or anything. So they just completely whiffed on recognizing the allegorical nature of hobbits, both by suggesting they’re…druids? And by suggesting they’re weak willed. Completely wrong on both counts.
The fact that this rant from Wolf actually got through to Cinematic Venom is an amazing example of slapping someone to wake them up. 😂
What are you talking about?
@David-xg5uu When cinematic venom came on to Efap, he references what Wolf says here as something as a wake up call
Tolkien did base a lot of the Dwarvish traits on Jewish culture, as well as the Language. He also stated he deeply admired both the Jews and the Dwarves, it was not a negative stereotype as much as it was basic inspiration.
Can we all denounce self deprecating humor? It’s one of the most painful, pathetic forms of comedy to hear, almost universally.
Self deprecating humor only works when:
1) It's a legitimately entertaining story being told which happens to paint the speaker in a comically bad light.
2) It's deprecation in hindsight over flaws or foibles you no longer have.
Self deprecating humor in person is a great attribute to have. But as writing, just saying ''haha lol, this is totally an issue'', and then thinking that's enough said, is just pathetic. You still need to actually tackle said problem.
Also yes. When guys rib on each other the ability to head off someone else's quip by going there yourself is a wonderful way to build solidarity.
@@trygveplaustrum4634 I think the problem is smug deprecating humor. These guys are wicked smug, someone like Shane Gillis or something isn't, or at least not as much.
@@TheStraightestWhitest Also yes. When guys trade barbs in person the guy who can head off a joke at his own expense by going there himself is almost always a good time.
... They didn't even get around to how Lord of the Rings is racist... Also humans aren't atheists. The Gondorans explicitly still give thanks to the "Lords of the West" IE the Valar.
The Cracked website actually used to be funny for a while. Even informative, as they often did actual research into what they were writing about. Then they went woke and political and was all about whining how no one likes transmissions who touch MAPs and crap and everyone was waycist.
I cant believe Cody Johnson doesn't feel anything but shame for participating in that.
One of my favourite references to Beowulf in The Hobbit is that, in Beowulf, the thief who steals from the dragon steals a goblet. In the Hobbit Bilbo also steals a goblet which enrages the dragon.
Just a very nice reference to Beowulf.
Remember when Cracked was actually good? I read the shit out of it back in like 2008.
It makes me incredibly sad to remember, so I try not to think about it.
I remember. It used to be a website I visited every morning and evening. I remember when they still had forums, and people complained about the very noticable drop in quality, and Jason Pargin and his legion of PWOT (forum name) idiots said everybody complaining about the quality was wrong and stupid and we're just all idiot nerds taking articles on the internet too seriously. Now their site is basically dead, all the old staff gone, and Pargin is relegated to writing unfunny Chuck Tingle-tier garbage that nobody cares about. Womp womp.
@@PontschPauPau3451
"Chuck Tingle-tier garbage"
Harsh but fair.
@@PontschPauPau3451 I was on that forum! Remember one article about Norse Mythology was published that was just hilariously wrong in a multitude of directions. Users on the forum pointed this out and the editors had an absolute bitch-fit, banning people left and right. I think this was in 2011 or '12 which was when I first started seeing a sharp decline in quality.
One specific facepalming moment was when Dan O'Brien wrote a preachy article about how r**e jokes are never funny, which was pretty rich considering only a few years prior had he published an article about him enrolling into Hogwarts and r**ing an underaged Hermione Granger.
And the Hogwarts article was genuinely funny! But noooo, can't have irreverent humor any more, I'm sure the readers will love you moving over to PC "comedy".
Turns out no.
Just a few minutes in my face was trying to cringe hard enough to break my skull, but I’m trying to endure, trusting that all of you will rip this garbage to pieces
I remember the kerfuffle about the Gringott's goblins from Harry Potter. Good times.
Idk bros, Tolkien said that LOTR is a "fundamentally religious and Catholic work; unconsciously so at first, but consciously in the revision". Not that it is somehow racist or anti-other religions, but they are wrong in saying that it is not *objectively* a Christian story
Yeah, but that's not really what they're contending, nor is it Cracked's actual point. The actual point in contention is the idea that it's Christian PROPOGANDA that wants to tear down every other worldview.
Yeah, but what point is the video making by claiming the humans are atheists?
@ I didn’t say the video was competent at all (it’s not, and fundamentally misunderstands even the most shallow meanings of the text), just that the guys were wrong to imply that LoTR was in any way not particularly Christian, contrasting it to Narnia.
When Tolkien said it was a religious work, he likely meant that his religious beliefs influenced his writing, not that it was meant to be a religious allegory, which is what's in contention. Tolkien famously despised allegory in that he felt it was the author heavy handedly leading the audience by the nose toward the "correct" interpretation of their work. He stated very bluntly that LoTR was _not_ allegorical. It's a story influenced by Christianity, it is not a story _about_ Christianity.
@@PepperMcLime I am very much aware. I am not disputing this. I am asking why the video would claim the humans are somehow supposed to be atheists. The best I've got is that they tend to stray and then fall, but that's not explicitly an atheist thing.
“..Nazi Flash Cards..” Dude! WTF! 😬😬🙄
11:16 ITS ‘ORCS ARE BLACK PEOPLE’ ALL OVER AGAIN
I miss when Cracked was actually funny.
Just to give you an idea how old I was.
A skit about Tolkien that was very clearly written by a person that never read Lord of the Rings
CS Lewis wasn’t a catholic he was Anglican but it doesn’t really make a big difference in this context
Wolf's opinions will always be wanted 😂
Also known as the worst take on TH-cam.
I forgot about the Alfredo debaucle. Hahahahaha
Man, I miss Wolf.
38:49 Has this guy heard of a thing called “the crusades”?
Think Rags preemptively struck me down, when he said Cracked was an unfunny Mad ripoff.
Was Logicked quiet because of the problems of having two eldritch horrors together? Would have been nice to hear more from him.
Fun fact: The Fellowship left Rivendell on the 25th day of December. Sauron was overthrown and The One Ring destroyed on the 25th of March, traditionally held to be the day of Christ's crucifixion......
Frodo and Samwise going to The Undying Lands is not immortality. Frodo's journey there was Purgatorial (he had been poisoned by Shelob AND suffered from bearing The One Ring). Aman is NOT 'Heaven' and it's not the land that makes you immortal, it's the people living there who are immortal.
As for the Khazad, their language IS based on Semitic. Tolkien made that connection himself. But that's not Anti-Semitic (people are stupid). And Dwarves have never been described as having 'big noses' (seriously?). It was The Great Rings born by the Kings of the Dwarves that caused them to suffer from 'Dragon-sickness' (ie - lust for gold). It's because they're not capable of being made into Wraiths or dominated (this is in the Appendices).
Appendix III
DURIN'S FOLK
............
"None the less it may well be, as the Dwarves now believe, that Sauron by his arts had discovered who had this Ring, the last to remain free, and that the singular misfortunes of the heirs of Durin were largely due to his malice. For the Dwarves had proved untameable by this means. The only power over them that the Rings wielded was to inflame their hearts with a greed of gold and precious things, so that if they lacked them all other good things seemed profitless, and they were filled with wrath and desire for vengeance on all who deprived them. But they were made from their beginning of a kind to resist most steadfastly any domination. Though they could be slain or broken, they could not be reduced to shadows enslaved to another will; and for the same reason their lives were not affected by any Ring, to live either longer or shorter because of it. All the more did Sauron hate the possessors and desire to dispossess them."
The cinematic venom retort from wolf sounds harsh since they had him on lol
I was so excited to relieve the pain from the cracked video but then felt bad when I remembered this was when the famous CV rant was.. than I just felt bad cause cinematic venom did come to efap and had a redemption 😂
The lack of Wolf saying anything at the end of the video suggests to me that he got re-irritated by reviewing this footage before posting the highlight. Like he watched the clip and got pissed off AGAIN at Cinema Virgin XD
Undying lands are not heaven. Hobbits are human, they go where humans go. Humans are the chosen people. Dwarves were inspired by Norse mythology. Norse had no knowledge of Jewish people when they created Dwarves.
43:47 @Poop Kun: "Crystaline cringe". You got that right. Wow, that was brutal.
Please tell me these tools were lambasted for this, because they sound like the type of people to eat wallpaper paste and insist it’s ice cream.
"That's not ripping into him?!" Apparently not.
EDIT: Glorfindel? Was that the elf that was forgotten?
I adore the part so much when Wolf goes nuclear on CinemaVenom.
The best part of cracked was seanbaby writing articles. He was genuinely funny. Everything else was filler and i usually just switched to theChive once i got done with Sean's article
11:09 Watto, Jar Jar and Nute Gun Ray have entered the chat! 💬
Funny how he brings up the silmarilion which is all about the elves screwing up.
Unintellence personified
Okay, so you know you cant include the part when they mention cinema virgin without make a supercut of whoever that is right? I need the lore.
Easterlings: in the Third Age, 2nd only to Gondor technologically amongst mortal Men (and not by all that much) Only the Elves and Dwarves went further than either (okay, and also Numenor but that was long gone) Easily Sauron's best infantry. They've been attacking Gondor since the year Third Age 490. Even in this opening gambit, they fought a long-running war lasting a casual 60 years until finally defeated. The Third Age lasted for 3,021 years. Imagine a faction that has been on/off at war with you for about as far back as the Achaemenid Empire in it's prime, as when compared to the Present Day.
Imagine knowing that just over the River Anduin, to the East, is an entire civilization of people that are well-armed, well-organised and really, _really_ do not like your people, for reasons that are either lost to time or involve a daemonic entity aka Sauron the Deceiver, polluting mortal minds since long before Gondor was even close to existing. More than once the Easterings nearly destroyed Gondor. Sometimes, Gondorian field armies would simply be defeated and routed with massive loss of life against the Easterlings.
On one particular occasion, the Éothéod of Eorl the Younger (read: first generation Rohirrim-to-be, from ancient stock of the Men of the North and the Vales of the Anduin), saved Gondor from a combined host of the Orcs of the Misty Mountains, and the powerful Easterling faction of the time known as the Balchoth; whom were a scourge upon the Gondorians and had trapped Steward Cirion of Gondor, in TA 2510. Cirion and his army were fighting bravely, though until Eorl showed up with his ~7,600 riders arrived, things were looking very sketchy for the Gondorians. Coordination between the Orcs and Balchoth, meant that his army was pinned on the West bank of the Anduin.
The Orcs had arrived later, when the Balchoth had pushed the Gondorians Northward, over the Limlight River (a tributary river of the Anduin), and hemmed them in from the East, using many boats to cross the Anduin. Were Steward Cirion and his army to fall here, then Gondor would be left wide open to a follow-up invasion by anyone paying attention (and Sauron was paying attention)
The Eorlingas saved Gondor that day, and were later granted Calenardhon, the Gondorian Province of the lands which became known as Rohan under new management. The Riders of Eorl had ridden for over 500 miles to reach the Battle of the Field of Celebrant, and were totally unexpected even by Cirion, whom had sent out 6 riders to call for help from Eorl (only 1 out of the 6 made it through Balchoth lines alive, to eventually reach the Vales of the Anduin, galloping as though thousands of lives depended on him; which they did) Outmanoeuvred and trapped, Steward Cirion's outnumbered force was likely going to be picked apart by the Balchoth Easterlings and the Orcs of the Hithaeglir. Easterlings were no joke. The Orcs were being purely opportunistic, though the Easterlings had tactically matched and strained Gondor, almost to the breaking point.
Other Gondorian armies in Middle-Earth history, were not so fortunate as Cirion's, to be rescued from their old enemy in Rhun. The Easterlings aren't just a joke faction in Tolkien. They are a serious, persistent, repeatedly victorious and incredibly lethal force to be reckoned with. Sauron sent most of the Easterlings he had fighting for him, to Dale and Erebor in the War of the Ring.
They fought the Dwarves of Erebor and Men of Dale, and their Kings, Dain II Ironfoot and Brand (grandson of Bard the Bowman and son of Bain), outside Dale, within Dale, in between Dale and Erebor and in a siege of Erebor. For many days the agony drew on. Both Dain II Ironfoot and Brand perished fighting side by side, at the very gates of Erebor, atop a mound of Easterling corpses. They died hard to help by time for their people evacuating inside Erebor. And there, they were besieged for 8 days. Dale was lost, and aflame; and not for the first time (centuries after Smaug had destroyed the place) Only the news of Sauron's defeat caused the Easterlings to panic. Up until that point, they were winning (albeit at heavy cost against the stout Dwarves and brave Men of Dale) And before anyone says it is always darker complexion peoples serving Sauron, let's not forget the following:
The greatest civilization of Men ever to exist, Numenor, wasn't safe from Sauron. These were basically Southern European analogue ancients, literally in touch with the Eldar, Maiar and even the Valar for a number of centuries. They were basically super men living for multiple centuries, with heights commonly in the 6-7 foot range and taller not being impossible. They were the most advanced humans ever to walk Arda, pre-Fourth Age onward at least, verifiably. Why would the Easterlings, Haradrim or Wild Men of Dunland/Dunlendings for that matter, resist the daemonic, supernatural powers of a fallen Maia, any better than the Numenoreans?
Again, it's simply not fair to expect mortals to not be corrupted by fallen celestial beings from the literal pre-match musical before time itself even existed (and yes, since the Dawn of Time) Even totally pure-of-heart Frodo was eventually messed up by a _fragment_ of Sauron's essence contained within the One Ring. Even Frodo temporarily lost that struggle. Now imagine Sauron full-force trying to turn the Easterlings to his side, or the lies he could tell them about Gondor's intentions towards the East. Quite simply, the Easterlings began attacking Gondor even back in 490 Third Age, _because_ of Sauron from the first. Tolkien wasn't making a metacommentary about non-Western peoples by doing this.
His most prized 'Western people' aka the Men of Westernesse themselves, the Numenoreans, _absolutely got their world quite literally turned upside down and drowned under purging tidal waves with the wrath of Eru unleashed_ (claiming many innocents of the Faithful, along with the evil King's Men of Ar-Pharazon the Golden) Sauron had destroyed the greatest civilization of Men ever to have existed, simply by allowing himself to be taken there as a 'prisoner', and getting to work on subverting the ruling classes and Ar-Pharazon especially. Look what happened to Numenor. It's not even on the map any more because Sauron made sure it was destroyed.
He made the Numenoreans under their corrupt King, effectively point a sword at God's head and then behave like this was a wise move. Sauron knew what was going to happen but lead them astray, deliberately. If Sauron can do that, it's not unreasonable to see how and why he'd corrupt many, many others (the Dunlendings were wild and dangerous, and more or less worsened by Saruman, rather than Sauron, but the point still stands that fallen Maiar were responsible) Again, Tolkien wasn't painting Western civilizations as totally invincible. Much of his work focuses on societal and civilizational decline, the atrophy and entropy of all things as time slips away from us all. The simple fact is that Sauron _knew_ he militarily could not defeat Numenor at it's glorious and egotistical height; even by itself, let alone if supported by the similarly extremely powerful Eldar of that era. Again, it demonstrates that Tolkien wasn't just making the Easterlings Gondor's punching bag. Sauron used the Easterlings to weaken Gondor and earlier, the human realms of Rhovanion.
God these people are exhausting to listen to. They're so insecure and judgmental of others it's insane
As a Christian (and Catholic), this is a hilarious discourse.
Moriarty's laugh 😂
I think youtube just deleted my comment for the word “semitic”. Wtf?
Who are they ripping on in the 2nd half of the video?
Someone called Cinematic Venom, who they covered on EFAP #93. Who made an anti-LOTR video they spent like 9+ hours covering, and in the course of which he made the point that apparently Gimli wanted Frodo and Sam to rot in Mordor, when he was clearly referring to Sauron after his defeat at Minas Tirith. It was hilariously inept. Apparently they’ve since made peace with him and had him on EFAP.
@@a_fine_edition2746 thank you!
They forgot the gigachad.jpg
"Father Johns" 🤣🤣🤣
They're just gonna keep saying it until it's accepted by the wider population aren't they?
Those guys are like the creepy old drunk guy at the bar that you decide to sit a couple seats away from just because of how racist and bigoted they sound lol
Wolf... are you bald?? I have never seen you, i always pictyred you with an intensly full head of hair.
This caused me physical pain.
16:42 Absolutely amazing line there... XD
I remember Cracked doing gaming video Rags reacted to. They really are cracked.
And that is why i like it so much. 👌🏻