I know right, like, how did you know? 😅😅😅 I wonder how the theorists came up with this system. As long as we’re typed properly, it can be beyond accurate. 🤔
Our thinking ability probably exceeds the majority of other personality types. And we can feel everything. In the last 10 years neuroscience confirmed that a small percentage of people on earth have an immense amount of mirror neurons which allows us to have empathy. Most people have just some and some have none.
INFP care about the texture of their clothing IMO. Even though it's not usually super fashionable I can tell they try to be fashionable and comfortable at the same time.
for me personally i just find fashion boring as hell. i dont care for it, because frankly it doesnt look as good as the clothes the characters in my books wear and I imagined myself. >->
My dad says that I’m like isolated. That Not wanting to interact with people is bad for me. Both of my parents are Infj’s and I’m an infp while my Brother is intp I actually like my brother when he disregards my feelings in the way that he’s using it for memes But when my parents disregard my feelings, they mean it HAHAHS 🙈🙈
Yes I am LOL, but I never gossip with others my judgements.. I just create my own oppinion of you (this usually takes a lot of reflection) and keep it for myself to broaden my own knowledge on humans
I don’t feel it’s judging tho. Like everyone is on an even field. I like just seeing how fast they run which way and many other things before I toss them a ball. How am I to know what kind to otherwise?
@@jedhigh1443 Same. I love CS Joseph, I think he needs to tweek this just a tad though. Yes we are secretly evaluating positives and negatives all the time, he's right about this. But this is to form our views on a person. But where Chase is wrong is that INFP's (mature ones) tend to see the positives in most every one even overlooking the negatives that others would actually be judgemental about. So I think judging has a negative connotation and is the wrong word to use.
I’m an INFP. I give everyone a full “trust bar” (except for those who I immediately don’t have my-or others’-best interests at heart. It’s the actions of the people towards me, and towards others, that determine where The bar sits after each encounter. (I know that I need all the information of what’s going on before I can understand if the action towards the other person would be/turns out to be detrimental to them). I see it more that I’m judging a person as “are they still a good fit for me to continue being in a relationship with?” I understand that most people are inherently good people. But I also know that people change over time. Interests can diverge (or converge), and people’s behaviors and thinking change, too. So, for someone to treat me as if I’ll stay the same forever-especially in a negative aspect-is to deny me the right to be seen by them as an ever-current person who is continually being affected by everything that’s going on. I’m going through a hard time right now. I don’t know if my position at work will still be here next week. And my current intimate partner (fiancé) last night told me that I was being negative when I explained... for the third time... what my new duties are that my job has added to my plate. (I like my job, and I don’t want to be fired, but at the same time, I can’t stand waiting around to figure out if my position is important enough to continue. I can’t find a comparable job in the radius of which I currently travel. And my fiancé and I just moved and signed a year’s lease for a higher rent place to live for which we’re stuck paying if anything-on our end-happens and we have to move out.)
Funny thing is. I don't think us INFP think we are perfect. But we KNOW we exist in an imperfect world. We look out in the world and often feel other people are not even trying to be better and because we often do, led by our morals, I think there is easily this silent judgement. Not from any sense of perfection but we just are really idealistic. We know we aren't perfect but we look for people that are. We don't find it and get to thinking, "wow, not only are you all not perfect. You kind of suck and aren't trying to make the world a better place". Which. . I GUESS can come off judgemental 😒😂
The good thing is that since I dress like crap for most of the year, people just assume that I look good in all those things but in reality, it's just familiarity. However, it does help in people noticing you when you finally dress up for once.
"Idleness is a big problem for INFPs." I hear as I sit here watching and commenting on this nearly 40 minute video, instead of doing an assignment that I'm drastically behind on, for a class I don't like. Lmao I wasn't spoiled, but I was raised by a very strict authoritarian who didn't allow much independence. So they made all my decisions and I didn't really learn personal responsibility. :/
I feel you. While my household wasn't authoritarian per se, my mother didn't teach me much autonomy due to her extreme neuroticism. I struggle with idleness like mad, to the point where I believe, for me personally, it surpasses treachery as my vice (although I have been treacherous out of straight up fear, then debaucherous to drown that fear out). Completely dejected Te inferior causing Ni critic to be neurotic and hypocritical without strong Ne parent to reign in a petulant Si child or to spur an idle (hell, half corrupt) Fi hero. Who saved the day? Fe nemesis. Fe nemesis is probably the reason I still have my sanity. I'm getting better. Si is learning patience, Ne is learning to actually do things and Fi is starting to see his role but holy shit has it been a long road. Fe nemesis needs a break, though.
I laughed so hard at the beginning. Everyone considers me as a super intimidating mysterious person or the opposite someone cute and naive, there is no in between.
In church I was so shy and loving and adorable because I was dating the elder but behind closed doors I was like eh I feel like drinking and watching horror movies it’s fine. Lol! I finally left the church and am agnostic. I’m like eh this is too boring for me I want to live my own life. I told the pastor I didn’t get religion and he was so confused and afraid. Like sorry dude I just don’t get it.
@@annmarie6870 wow I actually went through a very similar situation. Didn’t get it either and just dropped it altogether haha. I feel like I’m meant to live by own beliefs and values!
Leipziger Gnom very true, i am soooo earthy, i love smell of soil, I love earth color hiking, I am so down to earth , are you really a Leipzig resident? I lived there 6 months, I love it since Bach thought music in Leipzig Uni, 👍🏻🙌🏻✌️
I loved this comment! So true and validating! I’m a highly educated infp and frequently get called nerdy as a result but it’s all related my insatiable intellectual curiousity about the natural world and psychology. I desire so much to understand the way people think and feel.
@@bogdanlazar3278 So you agree that there's a creative mood? Mental fatigue is the wrong mood for creative work, so I think we're saying the same thing. Btw, this is a coincidence because I've been thinking about this a lot today, that I only have about 25 or 30 hours of intense work I can do a week, or an average of five hours a day. After that the mental fatigue kicks in. I'm better off doing anything else.
We INFP's do not perceive all people as bad, we perceive that we are very different then majority and we perceive other people better than they really are. That is our so call nativity, we aren't dumb or stupid, we just like to see world better than it is, eternal optimists. We also perceive all people as equal to us, nobody is above or below us. We want right to be who we are and whatever we want for us we grant others the same.That is reason why people in power, specially deluded ones hate us, because they sense that we treat them as equal.
✔Shy ✔Cute, if a bit spoiled/pouty/childish ✔️Silently judges/analyzes/assesses others ✔Perfectionistic hardass to himself who's aware of the inherent imperfection in everything, yet is kinda self-righteous ✔Lazy as hell. Not gonna do it if I DoN't FeEl LiKe It! xD ✔Philosophical, even to my own detriment ✔"Society sucksssss... but some people rock!" ✔Me: "I don't care about fashion sense and my appearance!" Others: "You should care!" Me: "I refuse to conform to society's standards!" Others: *stare judgingly at me* Yep, I'm an INFP alright!
I like your video, man 👌 📝 2:57 ESTJs 4:10 INFPs and literature. Robert Green -awesome author. 5:05 very similar to ISTJs 6:39 INFJs ,ISFJs, and perfection -buddies. 7:51 ISFPs, INFPs -have those guys around. 9:12 ENFPs and INFPs can be lazy -don't get stuck in a rut and get out of your comfort zone! 11:15 The secondary problem INFPs face: idleness. 12:54 The primary problem immature INFPs face is potential disloyalty. 13:33 What mature INFPs are like. INFPs have to be taught personal responsibility 14:32 The four pillars of self intimacy...after having self-respect and properly loving yourself, people will love you then. 15:00 Functions of the INFP 15:53 How to get out an INFP out of a rut: a lot of different people/reference points -solid data- from reliable sources have to tell them to change. 16:35,20:05,22:10,23:00,25:00,26:24,28:50,29:50,30:50,34:00(recap?),36:11,37:11
I’m an ESTP and my best friend is an INFP. We work really well because I can talk about myself for hours and he loves listening! He loves judging and I love being judged so that’s an awesome dynamic. I also love how I’m the ultimate realist and he’s the ultimate philosopher. I break all the rules he follows and I love laughing at his reactions when I boast about it. He’s a really awesome dude because he isn’t a spoiled or entitled INFP, and he is a really awesome friend because he seems to understand me better than I understand myself 😂 he is really mystical and fun as well. I appreciate you INFPs, you make the world a better playground for me.
That’s hilarious. I’m an INFP and I tell my mom that exact phrase. I told her she should feel lucky that I wasn’t a teen mom or an addict and that her biggest problem is my laundry 💁🏾♀️
Advice for any infp. If you are stressed and are at home: Put headphones on turn on a TH-cam video or song And clean something. I understand as INFPs we hate cleaning most of the time but try not to focus on the cleaning so much and just fold your laundry or straighten up your room. We hate committing to things we don’t want to do so don’t start deep cleaning your room. But each day when you’re at home and feel stress build up straighten up your room for 15 minutes it works wonders and helps us get into Se without even thinking about it. My room was really messy so I spent an hour cleaning it but didn’t get it all the way clean. The next day I cleaned a little more for about 15 minutes and repeated this. Now when I’m stressed I take a break and pick up the little messes in my room while focusing on a TH-cam video. Also build habits to allow you to use Te and accomplish goals. I bullet journal and would recommend looking into it
Another advice in that same line of thought is something I learned a few weeks ago: the Two Minutes Rule. You can probably find TH-cam videos about it. Basically, for those who don't know, the rule is that if you can do something in under two minutes, you do it now. And if it takes more than two minutes, you schedule it. I wrote that down on a piece of paper and taped it on my fridge so that I am reminded of it often. It's surprising how helpful that has been since I stumbled upon that lol. It helped me with little things like the dishes, the laundry, and general clutter - because chores somehow just disappear without any real "difficult" effort and now I have a relatively clean environment at home and I feel like I have more freedom. Highly recommended if you have a tendency for procrastination like I do haha
The Si child is SO INTERESTING to me. I had absolutely no sense of style until I started looking into it and gathering data. I hated driving until I had done it enough to get comfortable, etc. I never made this connection to Si!
I absolutely relate to the part about gaining knowledge not for the knowledge and its details but for building up the personal philosophy. I love reading history, but I rarely remember the details. Instead, I always remember the essence of the events and what it means in the meaning of life and the world.
I'm INFP and I finally got a very high paying job as a medical doctor... something my family members (who are sensors exclusively) are proud of, and I'm now even paying a significant amount of our family debts away, out of "being the nice one and pulling my weight", thus facilitating a perfect covert contract with them: "You guys can finally be proud of me (my status), and I'm even paying for your shit, so in exchange.... I can do whatever I want, forever, and you can't have anything to say about that!" So they are not allowed to judge me for being lazy, without ambition, having a twisted sleep cycle, spending too much time on playing video games, being worthless, or anything else anymore, as has been the case for a long time... needless to say I'm loving this :)))) And yes I'm really enjoying my job, as well.
Yes I love this! I definitely lack in the self-discipline area, but when I put my mind to something (like I did with my career), then I can make anything happen. But now that I've worked my ass off, I deserve some Netflix bingeing...every single day...most of the day...you know...
Okay, I finally watched the dreaded video, and not as bad as I feared, but a few points: As an INFP, I have a great deal of fashion sense, since I'm artistic and good at design. I just tend to ignore fashion, seeing it as often too pretentious. I like clothes that aren't choking me with neck ties, belts, and hindered range of motion. When I want to be fashionable, I can do it, and do it well. I just don't like to. Subtle difference. Philosophers... yes. Since a 13 year old. Lao Zi... favorite. The opposite of Robert Greene. I don't think Robert Greene and his admirers would go for the peaceful Lao Zi. Also Kropotkin. Group think? No, never, far too independent, since a teen. The bane of my existence to not conform or fit in, and it's a major pain. Not being a critical thinker when people are young is not the same as group think, and unfortunately it seems most people quite sadly never develop sufficient critical thinking abilities, but that would not be me. Status seeking? No, not status, more like wanting acceptance, validation. Subtle difference. Screw status, it's illusory, here one day, gone the next, and it depends on inequality, elevating one person at the expense of another. Even then I don't seek validation by selling out my individualism or my principles, so I don't get a lot of validation except from a small few like-minded people. Violent? No, a few brief angry fits, but never, never, never physical assault. A few cheep harmless objects thrown at the floor. Maybe 5 times in my entire life when receiving an ongoing, streaming onslaught of extreme verbal abuse, my response to it shocking myself more than anyone else, usually deliberately self-sabotaged (misthrown) so as not to break anything. Pretty mild stuff compared to a lot of people I've met. It's more from my sensitive neuro-systems (I'm HSP) when someone is screeching and screaming at me, relentlessly, and it builds to unbearable levels [edit: also known as overwhelmed neuro-circuits], but I wind down and de-escalate far, far faster than anyone I have ever met. Like, within seconds or minutes, then I feel awful and embarrassed and the other person is still going at it. Horrible! No, this is not me described in the video. *****I have to wonder what was done to an INFP to get them to slash tires. Something is being left out here in what caused that, I suspect. **** Lazy? Possibly spells of this, but more because of a different work style that less sensitive, more extroverted types just. will. not. understand. I work in great spurts, can exhaust myself with over-focus, then drop back and am less active, repeating the cycle over and over. I think INFPs *if* like me are so sensitive (many tend to be HSP) that they hate certain work environments, just too hard on their sensory processing, and when they don't feel like working, its very, very hard to overcome the dragging feeling, even when they try. Moods, too, are hard to overcome. Coffee might help, or better working environment. Suggested author, Robert Greene: he has rather toxic suggestions for dealing with the corporate world, some behaviors that a lot of us think are terribly alienating and which we see as products of our current dog-eat-dog, Ayn Rand inspired, social Darwinistic society, and rather than feeding this trend, would rather adopt better strategies. It might make us poorer, but it also makes us happier. I'd suggest reading Thoreau, who was allegedly INFP. He certainly was no conformist or indulgent in group think (see essay, Civil Disobedience). But rather than finding conniving ways to defeat power, he simply... disobeyed, and very publicly. Edit 1: On judging... I can be judgemental, but there is nuance to add here. I never, or rarely, make a final judgement about a person, especially one who is in my life. I leave the door open, always revising, changing, editing my view. I often WANT to be wrong if I think ill of another. I want to see more, to be accurate, to be sure, and I look for reasons to alter my view. This is important to understand, and to leave this out is to leave out something quite relevant. I am frequently told I am strangely accurate in my first impressions, but that always comes as a surprise to me, because I'm always revising. The door simply DOES NOT CLOSE. It just doesn't. I am often delighted to find I'm wrong. And I am subtle in this. Little things, little data points, change my judgements, which are often quite nuanced. The world is not binary, black and white, but full of shades. And I have noticed most people are not like this - they decide, and that's it, done, final, end of story. I don't understand this at all. This is why some of us say "we're not judgemental" when in fact everyone judges all the time. But there are differences, and while INFPs are always "judging", I think we're subtle and always revising, and we are capable of empathy for even the most "flawed" person. And also we turn this same lens on ourselves, and can be very harsh to ourselves. More later, perhaps. Got some WORK to do.
I've seen numerous instances of you suggesting to people they may be an alternate type when they report something different about themselves than you think is characteristic of a specific type. I think a lot of this is just lore. In other words, opining by various writers and memes get generated and repeated until they stick, never mind reality. I've taken numerous tests over 20 years, always coming out as INFP, and I lack some of the INFJ traits. The closest other type for me would be INTP, but I'm far too much a philosopher, dreamer, etc., to cross over into that. INFJs are far more decisive than I am, and far more Fe than I am. I see a difference. I'm very much the inward feeling person, and always have been. When I read Keirsey 20 years ago, the description of INFP was the most uncannily accurate description I've ever read of my temperament. Especially the nearly obsessive need to be real, or authentic, and the one thing he said that convinced me is his description of the feeling of being a fraud all the time because I'm never real enough to feel as authentic as I think I should be. This is me. That nailed my entire life. I feel like a fraud unless I'm completely real. Its awful... I can never reach this ideal, and when I'm down, I feel like a fake, a fraud, not at all legitimate even when people around me tell me I'm the most real person they know. Being a fraud is something I fear. Since then no one has described my temperament better than he did, and over the years things have kind of gone off the rails, I think, in some of the descriptions. Just my feeling about it.
Thanks for this comment. Al lot of what's mentioned in the video is just not me[INFP]. I tend to agree with the tendencies you mentioned in your comment so much more than this video. Also the reddit link you originally posted has been deleted unfortunately. It was the most appreciative post I have ever read about INFPs.
After watching this video I went and read Robert Greene's "48 Laws of Power" and found that the author says something along the lines of "You need to have mastery over your emotions" and I kind of stopped reading it right there. That's exactly what every friggin self-help books suggest...that will then lead to more self-help books that "teach" you how to "control" your emotions...and it's a never ending cycle of reading self-help books after self-help books. I am all about understanding why I feel certain emotions...and go very deep into them. What is conquered will always come back time and time again. I don't think emotions can be "controlled" or "subjugated", they can only be understood. The very understanding of the those emotions frees us.
I’m an INFP and most of this is true for me except the fashion sense. I’ve always had great style. I consider my outfits to be an expression of myself. It’s art.
ya tbh i get sick of ppl copying my fashion my whole life.. i wish they hated it. it's like they think they're taking an accessory. no, thats just my heart dude.
Bro idk where you get your info from but as an infp there are some things I definitely disagree with. There was a time when I was younger I used to walk around judging people and thinking I was better than them and then I grew up. And I don't think I'm better then anyone I like to think each person has something brilliant unique and great about them and it might be different from me but that doesn't make me better than them or them better than me. A Hallmark of the infp is it they see the good in everybody even when nobody else can see it. I rarely judge people in a critical way. I'm always trying to see their perspective.
Alyssa : In the musical "Oklahoma," there is a fight scene between the Cowboys and the Farmers. An older lady puts a stop to the fight saying: "I'm not saying I'm no better than anybody else, but I'll be danged if I ain't just as good!" Sounds like what you are trying to say and I totally agree with both of you.
I think sub-consciously I wanna understand and grow from everyone I meet so I can judge bigger targets. Like I'm aware I'm a garbage person and make efforts to be better, but deep down I think I'm better than everyone else cos it's the only thing keeping me in this dimension ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Hell yeah. I've been known for defending criminals and murderers because, while I don't condone their actions, I can see why they behaved like that, what brought them to do such horrible things and I can see their humanity even when many people simply judge them as monsters.
I think that depends on how you overcome your shadows, dont you think? I can agree with you as an INFP that I stopped judging ppl and I also see the good in everyone. But Iam sure not all INFPs can.
All of us INFP’s in this thread have incredibly LONG comments 😆 It comes with the territory. You’re in INFP land. Watch out! Prepare to be reading the thread for a couple hours.
Lol, today my daughter was lecturing me about how I don’t know how to do text messages correctly, because text messages are supposed to be short but mine are super long! (She is in elementary school) it was so hilarious! Yep...I don’t know how to do short texts with my close friends! :)
@@tamtam6717 I have the same problem maybe because I have so much in my mind (shit I could've just said same but like I need to express "...because I have to much in my mind" which is the main problem with us) (again even with these extra words it became long as hell)
"sit on the couch and be on my phone all day" the one thing i get yelled at more than anything else in the world.... I didn't really live a spoiled childhood but i was super protected and was always discouraged from making my own decisions and take my own actions so i still need to learn how to do that. I forget that being idle is a choice and not something that "happens to me"
Kiseo Chan I have identical childhood to yours. I feel should have been treated differently. Now when my dad yells at me for my incompetency, I feel very sad and helpless. I love him more than anything.
I can relate so much to this. It made me think about one thing: is our personality types defined by how we were raised by our parents, I mean, not especifically by our parents but by the way we were raised??? '-' Like, did we choose how to behave since we were babies because of the circumstances we were at the beggining? '-'
I’m an INFP and I’ve been basically emotionally neglected/abused throughout my childhood so I created imaginary worlds to help me cope and although they have been helpful when I was younger, I am completely stuck in this comfort rut now. I’ve gotten to a point where I felt so stagnant and became depressed so I started investing in personal growth because honestly I had nothing to lose. I am still educating myself on mbti but everything you said have about infps are accurate. And sometimes I feel like no matter what I do, I will keep going back to that comfort rut due to my Si because my fantasies have served me my entire life. My Te inferior also makes me extremely fearful of what others think of me but I am deliberately working on it. I’m a high school senior and I started doing a lot of leadership roles to get myself uncomfortable and face my fear but it’s so hard. :(
@@suwenlin3736 watch people like Kasumikris, infinite waters, RSD, the Devine feminine and many others. They are all about self improvement and fixing your life, I was in your shoes and fall into your shoes once in a while I’m still human. But having all that knowledge changed my life drastically, know that you aren’t alone and there is hope no matter how dim it seems. Eat healthy, meditate, quit p0rn and m@sturbation if you do that stuff, workout, practice journaling and share it with someone u trust. Hope this helps!
@@punkpixee thank you so much for this. i am familiar with a lot of self development topics and have been meditating for quite a while. things have gotten better but it’s hard for me to get to that point of complete self-transformation but i’m hoping that as long as i continue on this path, i will surely heal my past one day. i will definitely check out those youtubers! much appreciated
Honestly, you are so ahead of your years and I applaud you for being in high school and already understanding the idea of self-growth and development! Most people live a lifetime and never think about it, or refuse to believe they could benefit from any type of growth, so you're already ahead of the game! I also want you to know that INFPs are the harshest critics of ourselves...we don't only judge other people, we judge ourselves much more. It's a weird thing to explain, because to a certain extent we can truly believe we are morally superior to others, but only in the sense that we know we AREN'T better than anyone. And we know most people don't ever feel that way, or understand that we all have faults, so we tend to pat ourselves on the back for that haha! You have SO much time! I started to stop caring what other people thought of me in my early 20's, and as a 35 year old, I can say the last 10-15 years have just gotten better and better every year! Hang in there. Also, I was the same as you and developed my inner fantasy world as a means of escape from an early age. My parents were great, but I had some issues with an early caregiver which is when I developed that "ability." It's a true gift. It's sad that we were forced into it so young, but we are lucky to have the capability of living 24/7 in a dream world if we must. The older you get and the more confident you get, the less you will feel the need to live in that world constantly, but it will always be there as a back up which is comforting in and of itself :-)
I'm an INTJ, my younger brother is an INFP. I'm 7 years older than him and for a large portion of our childhoods both our parents worked, so I helped to raise him. I spent a lot of time and energy micromanaging things to turn him into the perfect little brother. Now, We are 32 and 25 respectively and I rely on HIM to be my moral compass when my ISFJ inner demon emerges. Guess I succeeded...
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INFP male here. I have never once thought about damaging someone else's property (or body) because of a nasty breakup. I would think that NFs, in general, would suffer from the empathic backlash of hurting anyone for no other reason than spite. If the other person were at fault -- for egregious cheating, or some such nonsense -- I could see myself emotionally and psychologically dissecting and eviscerating him. But that also takes energy....best to just kick him out, and then ruminate about it for months/years while using the punching bag in the garage.
Another way to healthily criticise an INFP: get an ENTP to talk about/to them for 30 minutes. It will change their lives lol. My "secretly judging" self found you one of and probably the most accurate and fun to watch videos about INFPs here on youtube. Thank God for ENTPs
I am an infp and my dad is an Entp(could be an estp cz as much as he is an intellectual man, he is very active physically). He is proud of me in every way. When we fight it's sarcastic and my dad can never win because I always get the last word unless I am not knowledgeable about the topic we are debating about. Sometimes he would be like "you are such a brat" my reply will always be, well the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. He even pays my university expenses but I still love my mom(esfj) the most. She is a very strong woman and she tells me, I love you the most in this whole world. My mom is one of my best friend. Both of my parents are professor and I am their one and only daughter. My parents were always very concern about my grades and I was scared of letting them down still I feel blessed.
I always feel on the edge around ENTPs and I'd presume it's caused by their Fi trickster that makes them feel as if they have to watch over their every step around me, because they subconsciously are too self-aware to not be aware of the fact that my biggest mode of operating is precisely one they're oblivious too. And since my decision derives from their biggest weakness I'm guessing they just hardly ever gain an understanding of my functioning. I see myself acting very similarly around any Se-doms, insecure to the core that prepares for projecting my own emotions each time the self-perceived threat becomes too much too bear.
INFP's strive for perfection knowing we will never obtain it. Like Hemingway said. "True nobility is not being superior to your fellow man. True nobility is being superior to your former self. This guy has a thing for INFP.
I do that too 🤣 hate competitions because I'm always conflicted, I want to win but I don't want to seem like I want to win; I hate losing too its super frustrating so I tend to avoid competitions it messes me up, I care too much
September Plaid Makes sense. The shame thing: If you lose badly, you can always say “Well, I wasn’t competing, wasn’t trying.” A face-saving “out”. I usually get anxious around competition. A part of me wants to win badly, get the ego strokes; another part looks ahead and runs thru the “loser”/shame/“I am the most inept in the world” script; and another part (more detached) philosophizes about how winning would be temporary, fleeting in its fulfillment, a path to increasingly larger (ever more unobtainable) cravings, and thus a hollow and ultimately self-destructive victory. Oh, and then there’s a 4th part that observes all these mental processes and comments on how extreme, over-generalizing or catastrophizing some of these thought processes are - the inner “cognitive therapist”. Labyrinths of the mind.
An INFP who truly loves and embraces himself doesn't give a fuck about what people think, he'd only be worried about how to express his inner ideal world to the outside world in a concrete way (Te). As an INFP that's the impact of my inferior function on me. I guess the best way to balance Fi and Te is by bringing our ideals and philosophies into reality where they can become a part of the world's Te, so i guess our biggest struggle is trying to find the right way to translate our Fi to Te ie. a translation mechanism
Dude, I am an INFP who has just went really into learning personality typea within the last two weeks. This video is by far the greatest, most in-depth video I have seen on the INFP and on my end, there is such gratitude for this video. Well done and Thank you.
Thanks for breaking us down and building us back up! I love watching your videos and always feel a lil smarter after having engaged with an ENTP. I come back to this video when I feel like I'm avoiding reality and playing video games all day. It helps snap me out of it and it very encouraging at heart.
I only play video games all night instead of all day, it seems to help. During the day if not working I read and watch youtube posts like this. However when I find a really good video game I play until the day and need to sleep right though till night again, perhaps I have tricked myself?
oh god. so spot on it actually hurts... literally 100000% me. ugh. the fashion thing... damnit. very true- always trying to balance trendy shit with my individuality and wanting to stand out but not too much because then people will notice me and then they'll judge me... maybe even as much as I'm judging myself already or maybe even as much as I'm judging them LOL infp logic
I remember first time watching this, i was shocked at how true all this was and how harsh he is. It was like a very harsh reality check for me, but now after watching most of his videos and coming back here i was like he’s actually quite nice in this one. Compared to his some of other videos XD
The INFP should never be treated harshly because we love so much and only want to please. So whatever expectation you put on us, we try to achieve for you, even though it typically just makes us want to throw up, because we LOVE so much. But that’s bad now, so we conform to your definitions. All the while moving away from what love really is until here we are now… INFPs want to please so much they are going out to become doctors when all they wanted to do was pet a puppy. Your expectations are crippling to us and we no longer know how to live in this world and that’s why all the love is gone.
@@CarrieRudolph-kt6rc "The infp should never be treated harshly" Translation: i am an extremely self-abaorbed, lazy, self-righteous and selfish and think that the world revolves around ME. Please do not shatter my fragile ego with the truth.
I am an INFP I spent my entire childhood reading everything. Not speaking to anyone because I grew up in hell and I had no protection. So I read the entire western literary canon and every bit of history and biography I could get my hands on. When I grew up, I pulled out my flaming sword of justice and went after my Sexually Violent Predator abuser in order to protect other children from him. I went to school and started working professionally in maximum security forensic psychiatric facilities, and went on for 34 years after him until I got him investigated. I made his life hell until I got him. While also working in Hospice as well. I was willing to lose my family, and relatives etc. Because I dont care when justice is on the line. As I age I have become more withdrawn. At 59, I'm tired now and feel like the world is going to hell, and there is nothing else I can do because I have always seen the future accurately and it sucks. Though, I was a gifted music student at university before I switched to psych tech/med nurse, as well as artist. So there's that. So perhaps I should get my paints and paper out again.
Yes it is time to heal and art is very cathartic. I have not drawn or painted since my dad passed away 9 years ago and I also am deliberating on renewing that passion/dream.
In sorry for all you went through you were very strong and mature to read so much while others dragged you down! I get you feeling tired bc sometimes I do too but the future is not always bad- have you read boundaries by cloud and Townsend? Those books have created happiness in my life
Just wanted to say that I appreciate your video. I'm a male INFP. The first time I watched this I came away thinking you just had a bad past relationship that colored all your thinking on my type (I still think this, just less so now). Now that I've watched this again I'm struck by how you are actually very even handed in your description of the type, pointing out just as many (if not more) strengths as weaknesses. INFP's struggle with constructive criticism, and that is why I think some of the responses on here are so negative. Some of your descriptions on the INFP type feel off to me, but that is fine because what I find most valuable about your video is I think it is the best example of how other types perceive the actions and reactions of INFP's. And for me, as a classic INFP, perception/feeling is reality, so this is very useful. So thank you for a very well put together and insightful video. I'll definitely subscribe and watch your channel. If you are an INFP watching this and maybe upset at his description, remember that this is how some types see our actions/thoughts/feelings. So take the necessary steps to change their perception. That is one thing (among many) that INFP's are good at!
I'm fine with accurate criticism and I have a lot of self-criticism of INFP characteristics; criticisms which are probably valid, I think. I know what I struggle with, and I know the reasons, and I've had to learn to have self-understanding, which is the entire point of MBTI theory, originated by an INFP, by the way. It's about insights leading to better understanding, not just criticism for the sake of criticism. What I don't like is inaccurate criticism OR slanted criticism that says as much about the perspective of the critic as the object of the criticism. For example, the "laziness" thing he gets into sounds just like my hyper-extroverted father who never understood my sensitivity (I'm also HSP or Highly Sensitive Personality), something my extremely outgoing workaholic father simply had no experience with to enable him to empathize, so my introverted nature was seen as "laziness" rather than sensory overload, and the resulting discomfort, and withdrawal from the intensity of the harsh external world. I worked my ass off for him, but I was always a late-starter, always had days when I was off a bit, but days when I worked harder than he did and I always brought a great deal to the table, often correcting his extroverted errors, his lack of seeing detail, even saving his ass in ways he never saw, all due to his own traits. He never really saw my contribution or saw what I did to balance his own crap. [Edit: this cultural value in American society, of working one's ass to the bone, where Americans take less vacation time than any other industrial nation in the world, is not actually a healthy value, and far too many buy into this without knowing it is part of the culture they were born into. Thus, people value excesses of work more than laid-back, more relaxed lifestyle as a cultural norm, but in Europe they know the value of longer vacation time and taking longer lunches, etc. Newsflash: the American tendency to obsessive work ethic and overloading themselves with production, production, production, is not universally shared outside of this money-driven country. So extroversion is valued over introversion, insensitivity is valued over sensitivity, working 'till you drop valued over smarter, more paced approach, etc. This is mirrored in the attitude of this fellow who made this video.] This video is much like my father and how he would view me, and it took years for me to understand how wrong he was about me, and how damaging to my self esteem his bullshit was. Yes, he'd call me lazy, lackadaisical, dreamy, thought I was emotional, didn't understand my artistic nature at all, didn't appreciate my constant philosophical approach, didn't understand my rather sensitive ethics, had no clue how smart i was, didn't know how to best utilize my talents, and also never saw my logical side and that I was actually far better at logic than he was... he just never saw it. And sorry, as an INFP, I don't lie, as this fellow in the video asserts. You want to criticize something? Criticize my excessive honesty (ethics based), because that's actually been a problem, my gushing out the truth before I can stop myself. Not that I can't engage in little lies here and there, but no, not a liar, I'm a bit too honest for my own good, and that was one criticism my father was probably right about, but even there he never understood WHY I was so ethical and honest. He never empathized. Empathy is one thing true criticism should not lack, because understanding motives and why people act the way they do is an important component of a true critique. And then when a person pushes back against this fellow's self-concocted narratives and anecdotally-based opinions derived from his run-ins with girlfriends, he declares them to be of another type, as if he's infallible, or he thinks INFPs couldn't have a rational, valid analysis compared to him. Utter nonsense. For more, see my comment made a few days ago.
I completely see where you are coming from and I can tell you have a good understanding of the intricacies of the interplay between Si child, Ne parent and Fi hero. However I think he gives a good description of an INFP that has had little to no development of the Si child. An immature INFP as it were, one at the mercy of the Te inferior and Fe nemesis. I've seen myself that an immature INFP can behave exactly as he describes. Your description of your past would result (I would imagine) in a very mature Si child, which would allow the Ne parent to do an even better job at driving the Fi hero. Mature INFP's are often mistaken with other types since they exhibit so few of the stereotypical INFP behavior, and tend to hide their thoughts (thus-mysterious). That is in fact why the stereotype exists to begin with, the mature INFP's are mistaken as another type while the immature ones end up representing it. I don't blame him for missing some things. INFP's are a very hard type to understand unless you are one (sometimes not even then), and he does an excellent job in his break-down of the cognitive functions and their behavioral drivers. I've learned a lot from watching his videos.
Omegawhite, All young people display "immaturity" but when I was young, I was extremely sensitive to my environment, and that has not changed, I'm still the same, especially when stressed. This is not "immaturity", but a permanent part of who I am, and I would not be the person I am without that, and it is not a fault, but a trait, an important part of my identity. It has its positive and negative aspects, and I would never want a lobotomy to change that neuro-sensitivy. Thus, when I was a kid, I didn't need to be more mature, as it were, I needed to be understood, and to be helped to approach the world working WITH my nature, not against it. Sorry but your comment is not value-free, and reflects the "insensitivity is good/sensitivity is bad" or "extroversion is mature/introversion is immature" binary of American society.
You are assigning a negative connotation to "immature" and a positive connotation to "mature" where one does not exist. These are not statements of value, they are states of development. A "mature" Si child means that the INFP has a breadth of experience from which they can draw accurate conclusions on the information acquired by their Ne parent. This then allows the Fi hero to decide what to do about the information. In short, the information gathered by Ne is presented to Fi who then asks - 1. What are these feelings? 2. Where did they come from? 3. What will happen because of this? It is the Si child that answer's these questions. A well developed Si child will answer correctly, while an underdeveloped Si child could get it wrong. This is what is being referred to when you hear "mature" or "immature". Where you state -"Sorry but your comment is not value-free, and reflects the "insensitivity is good,/sensitivity is bad" or "extroversion is mature/introversion is immature" binary of American society."- I think you mistake my comment. While I agree with your sentiments exactly, that 'binary' is the feeling/perception that people who feel that way use to lead their life. As INFP's we understand better than anyone that feeling/perception drives behavior far more than logic. It is both something that we live with and fight against our entire lives.
I had a good laugh watching this. Pretty spot on. As an INFP I would say our fashion sense is very individualistic, quirky, and always authentic to our true selves.
Thank you for sharing all this information. It is SO helpful! I am INFP, and was raised by my INFJ Mama. She helped me overcome A LOT of the negative parts of my personality.
I watched this again. Still informative. The tire popping and physical harming thing, I think those are marks of INFP immaturity. Personally, I've been harmed so much by others in various ways, that I truly do not ever want to hurt anyone else or their things. I know that everyone is capable of harming, and so now I constantly run checks of my behavior and intentions...because really, any of us could fly off the handle if we dont have ourselves in check.
sunny mccalister Please don’t let this become an obsession. As an INFP with extreme OCD at one point, it can ruin your life. Practice self-compassion and ALWAYS breathe. It allows energy to follow through you, and not be bottled up.
I laughed when you mentioned our (INFP's) lack of fashion sense- I have to agree. I am VERY self-conscious about my clothes & a lot of my fellow INFP's wear weird clothes too : ) But it's inaccurate to say INFP's are status conscious- we're generally the opposite. What we're conscious of is doing what's right (which you later mentioned) even if it means looking foolish while standing up for what's right. It's not status we crave- it's fairness/justice.
P. Harvey that’s fair, however status can and will be craved by the more immature which is typical of most people. Luckily it sounds like you are mature or may be at risk of being an INFJ instead :P
I don’t think my fashion sense has ever been bad different but not bad now I want status but not for having status but because with status comes with the resources I need to help change the direction our world is heading in ☺️
In my experience, we do develop a strong internal desire to be accepted and revered by others. Social skills (I.e., charisma, style) do not come naturally to us, so I think we can get very obsessive with trying to accommodate physical appearance and mannerisms to other people (after being constantly teased for being weird, which is literally all internalized over the course of years.)
infps presents themselves in a very aesthetic, charming way...they seem like super cool people...or at least, until you discover all the emotional bullshit underneath lol
also, because it's possible that this comment triggers infps, (I would get a little bit irritated too!) I'm gonna say something...Dear infps, YOU ARE NOT YOUR OWN EMOTIONS everyone has emotional baggage, me too, I hope I didn't make anyone salty hehe
@@soniac697 I´m infp and i think infps see or experience emotions as more "real" than most other types, like "i feel good/bad, there for it really is good/bad. It wouldn´t feel good/bad for no reason" and so on. Not triggered lol, just trying to explain.
@@draug7966 Honestly the most important things ive found for my self development in regards to my emotions and regulating them is in regards to looking to other functions other than just what my Fi is telling me. Lke for instance considering Ne and how else i could also be feeling (like instead of nervous/anxious im actually i may aucatally be excited) and also making sure to take an actie part in looking after my Si and doing what I can to be comfortable like making sure to eat/sleep/exercise properly as many people (espically those who are intuitive or those who just have mental health problems) often ignore the importance of looking after their body. Anyway thats my 2 cents on the topic...
I have not gone “demon mode” and destroyed someone else’s things since I was a child. I’m 27 now and it’s been well over a decade. You had me cracking up talking about laziness though. Too accurate. I hope my entj s/o can help me get it together.
As an INFP I am not really concerned what people think of me, though it has taken me quite a long time for me to get that way. I still don't have much of a fashion sense though. Here is my personal philosophy. I've been thinking about this and working on it for a long time now, but have just recently started writing it down. It's still a work in progress. A lot of it comes from Bruce Lee, the movie The Robinsons, and the phrase (& song) C'est la vie. 1. Be flexible, adapt to situations as they come up. 2. Don’t rely on styles. Styles separate us all. Use what works, get rid of what doesn’t, and make it your own. 3. Be the best that you can be, don’t try to be like anyone/everyone else. 4. There are plateaus in life. You must go beyond them. 5. It is the journey that is important, not the destination. Be mindful of that. 6. Life is an ever-flowing process of continuing growth. 7. C’est la vie - such is life. Somewhere on the path of life some unpleasant things will happen - some of which may leave a scar, but life flows ever onward. 8. Keep moving forward as each experience teaches us a lesson.
It might just be me, but do any other INFPs constantly eavesdrop on their friends? It's not even like I'm trying to catch them say something bad or a lie, I just naturally do it. I guess because INFPs tend to be great listeners.
"Just realize that your a human being and there's other human beings in this world" I do realize this and personally when I was younger I was very self envolved and closed minded to the aspect of other people having there own needs, but as we grow up we self improve and see other people's struggles. As an INFP (I don't know if this is how everyone else thinks) but I believe to have a better world we must all be aware of "other human beings in this world" and to notice each others struggles to actually help eachother out. I'm slightly hurt at this comment because I don't want others to think that I'm super self envolved, the only reason I stay in my little bubble is because yes the world is a harsh place and i would like to help out some way but to do so I want to try my best to become the best person I can be so that i can give my sincere love and help to others.
HARUNOboy17 You are beautiful. Do not change, just get better at being you. Look for people who appreciate you. Being 'a responsible adult' is just other words for selling your soul to the system. I'm pretty sure that having morality as your guiding principle is not about believing that 'people are bad'. (as long as you don't inflict your personal morality on others - but keep up the SJW work the rest of us lazy people are extremely greatful)
HARUNOboy17 yes, sometimes we have to allow ourselves to feel the sting of truths to be able to mature and I'm cheering you in your decision to be consciously self-disciplined cos I know it's gonna be hard and take a lot effort most of the time, not to mention consistency. I'm an INFP and as I mature, I'm realizing nothing can be achieved without it and it's a waste cos we have the potential to contribute a whole lot of good to this world but sometimes we just get so stuck in our head, all our good intentions aren't manifested :( Still, don't be too hard on your self if u will start to feel like you're coming short of it, I'm struggling too so I hope it'll encourage u to remember that your efforts, even the minute ones, are not wasted ☺️
@@Qvotes I know you wrote this to another person but I thank you for saying that. I'm an INFP aswell trying to mature.. As C.S Joseph said, I was spoiled so... yep.. Just imagine how fucked up I am as an adult of 23 years old.. I don't want to be a shitty person anymore..I want to be more realistic and actually ACT for once and all. I've been stuck for soooo long just inside my mind and not being realistic.. I've noticed that will lead me to nothing and I need to change like right now. (sorry abt bad english though)
How do you do it? First you blow me away with INFJ and once again my jaw is on the floor. You just described my INFP husband. Honestly, I (INFJ) went through some issues with accusations of infidelity a few too many times in the past and my husband (INFP) felt criticized and rejected and well, still a few holes in the wall. It was like a tornado, broke anything within reach. Blown away that you described both of us to a T. Never happened again and were still going strong. Curbing my criticism was huge. A million thank yous for this. Now I know what the inner demon looks like and love that part of him too. Finally, some answers. Keep up the good work and Bless you for all you do for humanity.
Wow, this video has motivated me to change for the better, there are so many issues that i could relate to. I'm currently super undisciplined and feel like i have lost some good qualities i once had and lost myself. Man,I have a lot of work to do. This is an amazing video.
Yeah. I learned that our Ego, conscious can be used way more constructively. Think of your ego as 'The center field of consciousness'. Don't unite, be one with the ego but use it as a field, a tool to be empowered, grown and learn. "The most intelligent observe without judging" Granted, we do judge all the time but spending less energy and more on the subconscious functions, as in try as much as you can bring that meditative state, take vita D, fish oils, whatever helps and you can more easily absorb crucial information and be more authentic.
My career is music. A lot of INFPs are high level performers... pianists and cellists indeed, and many other instruments. ISFPs too are tremendous instrumentalists very often. Not watched your ISFP video yet guessing you might bring that up... their artistry.
Minus popping tires and destroying things lol. I get very angry sometimes, but at the end of the day, if I get close to someone I will always be in their life. As long as their a good person. Just might take working through my anger to get to the post break up friendship.
Wow. Amazing. As an INFP, i feel seen! Now three critiques: 1 - You said to help an INFP change, you need multiple credible sources. Good call, and I'll do you one better: Walk them through looking at their life through their own high standard. ie. "I love how you want to make the world a better place. Now how are you doing that?" (Btw i think this video does that wonderfully) 2 - They'll slash your tires, destroy your physical world, and even physically hurt you? What?? I've been pretty upset with people, but I've never come close to any of that. Subconsciously i might get revenge emotionally or mentally, but on a conscious level i never want to see myself hurting someone... unless it's to protect innocent life. 3. You repeat yourself a bit, which makes the video twice as long... but keep making videos, keep talking, because you'll become more streamlined with practice. 3 - I'm amazed at your ability to retain and articulate such complex information, and then deliver it in a clear and entertaining way. After watching this, i feel more motivated, and even more curious about Robert Greene. Thank you for producing this video 🙏🏽
I think it may be rare that the Ti demon emerges, I have dealt with it through systematic attacks on my ego from a young age. From family, friends and teachers, peers and even those I looked up to. This results in explosive and physically volatile eruptions. I could snap if criticized for the umpteenth time, or at times when someone attacked someone I loved and cherished, or if I saw injustice right before me, the strong attacking the weak etcetera either verbally or physically. Most people got warning before I unleashed the beast. Stop that behaviour or else, I liked to give three warning, strike three and out he came. I was athletic and had been unknowingly (by my dad) taught some basic martial arts (my mom would not allow it so he did it secretly, so much so even I did not realize our playfighting was kata). I was known to break things, punch walls, I did not really want to hurt anyone, just show them how they made me feel within, and that they unleashed this behaviour in me through their insensitive and thoughtless comments. Our words do indeed have consequences. I never hit anyone in the face, well once in a red rage but I was not in control of the beast that day, I literally saw red, and awoke from a dream state afterwards, hard to describe. I preferred to hit them in the gut, knock the wind out of them and also the fight. Once in awhile I met someone who knew how to fight and then the muscle memory of my dad's teachings would come out, I did things I was not aware I was capable of. Once a group of six guys passed me in the mall, I was leaning back trying to look cool of course with my Korean friend. One of the smaller boys (we were all teens) looked over and said "What are you a faggot?" I snapped as this was a trigger phrase for me , (never feeling masculine enough, since I never got the girl, which only added to my frustrations) and yelled and pointed "All six of you outside right now!" This was bellicose hubris on my part. No way I could have won against those odds, but at that moment I did not care about winning, only about making him understand his words would have consequences. The two largest guys came over to me and asked me to calm down, I was 5'10" about 175-180 and all muscle, they were both over 6 feet but none had the look of being a fighter, a thing I learned to distinguish early in my life being that I could be quite confrontational to those that crossed my value barrier or tried to belittle my sense of manhood (Irish Scottish ancestry, my family line was from a long line of warriors). They said "he was only joking" I responded "then he best learn what is and is not funny because I am not laughing". I can only imagine perhaps because I was with an Asian friend and due to my unabashed insolence they must have believed I knew how to fight, or perhaps they were used to this belligerent behaviour from their small friend and this was the first man crazy enough to call out their group for this. I came to my sense and let them walk off, my adrenaline had drained and I was thinking more clearly, my poor friend did not know how to fight and was shocked by this even though he knew me well and knew if you crossed my boundaries you would awake this hidden and dormant creature from my fragile psyche. All this occurred in my youth and a lifetime ago, but perhaps you can see that it is indeed a possibility if criticized unending an INFP reverts completely within and draws out his own hero to save him in the form of this demon (not a hero at all). My apologies for my lengthy diatribe and stories although I felt they were important in the interest of clarity and full disclosure, I hope this helps my fellow INFP's who were spared the first hand knowledge of this horrid aspect of our persona, and no I am not something other then an INFP so back off JACK, I know who and what I am, all to fully well. C.S. Josephs explanation was quite insightful and accurate in many ways, although as per other comments from such as Kent who elaborated and expounded quite eloquently on Jospeh's lack of personal experiences as an INFP not withstanding.
On a side not, in my twenties, someone parked their car in my parking spot. I was quite annoyed and felt that swift justice should be enacted upon this unsuspecting violator of my lawful place. I mused over various responses I could take, not even really meaning to act upon them but enjoying the thoughts nonetheless. I had my car key in my hand and as if by an unconscious act, next thing I knew I was keying his car, a very long scratch down the entire passenger side. In retrospect (only moments later) I feel that I over reacted excessively. His minor offence, and waste of my time having to seek other alternative parking, did not warrant such a severe punishment. But it was too late, my momentary sense of being violated and disrespected (even though he did not know me) erupted in this childish and uncharacteristically spontaneous action. Perhaps the slashed tires were a result and this same transition from fantasy to reality, in an instant, feeling like you needed to be the catalyst of immediate justice and karmic forces upon the offender of your feelings and loyalty?
Live with my ex ENTJ with narcissistic traits for 8 years. You will meet you Ti demon . I did. It’s scary, almost uncontrollable, I did not recognize myself. I never wish to be in that position ever again.
yea i definitely don’t agree with what he said about us slashing tires or hurting ppl, maybe mentally i take revenge but that’s only after giving so many chances to a person and them constantly taking advantage of me
17:00, spot on. When someone has data to back up whatever they are criticizing me for, I take it seriously and then feel obligated to change my actions.
I hope you see this! INFPs are prone to mental illness (yay) and as someone who has known many self-abusive INFPs (eating disorders, self harm, addiction, etc.) I was wondering how this would fit in? Also, I'm an INFP who is EXTREMELY organized. To the point that my external environment at home HAS to be organized and calming for me. My home is my only safe place and I need to be able to come home and not have another stressful thing to deal with. I can come home and unwind and process my day, and just things in general. If my roommate leaves a mess on the kitchen counter? Demon mode activated. I've spiraled into panic attacks on bad days where I've come home and found some "small" mess. Mostly because I see it as utter disrespect, but I don't physically hurt others or their things--I'm prone to hurting myself, instead, to keep myself controlled and still appearing composed to those who have hurt me. (This also allows me to gather my thoughts and I have DESTROYED people with words. I just tell them my totally accurate understanding of who they are and their greatest flaws and..well they regret whatever they did. But I also usually regret the way I told them--later.Though, I never regret being honest, just being disrespectful in my honesty). If I can't compose myself in the moment, I'm a screamer. I just start yelling childish gibberish and I run. I've also been told, for me, these are anger attacks (panic attacks). This person isn't understanding me and is using more and more Te/Fe on me to squash me; they have me cornered and I don't know what else to say and so I just explode (but I don't want to physically hurt them or their things), so my brain just melts down and I scream and leave until I can find someone to talk with to calm down, and then help mediate the conversation. So...how does being SUPER organized, overly composed, and abusive toward the self fit in?
@@CSJoseph someone replied to this like two weeks ago and I think they deleted the comment before I could get to it. I hope you see this! They said something about this describing their state of being right now and asking me how things are going for me. SO. It's been 4 years. Shortly after writing that comment, I left the "not a cult" non-denominational evangelical church of christ I grew up in (26 years) and came out as a lesbian--previously didn't even know that gay was a thing until high school. I'm *not* what I wrote in the original comment anymore. Getting out of an oppressive system and being able to unlock a integral part of who I am and live completely authentically while also being in an environment that *highly* values me healed me in a way I never knew I needed. I'm now a research-driven, facts-requiring, 700-pages-of-research-reading-overnight-to-combat-the-entire-college-administration-on-a-livestream-and-saving-a-program kind of INFP. I'm with an *actual* INFJ art teacher who is messy as fuck. The place is usually not extremely tidy, and it truly has to be a DISASTER to throw me off..and then I just tidy up a wee bit, if I can. If I can't, I'm still good. I don't go off on people. I haven't screamed at someone in 4 years lol. I go after the systems behind corruption..most people are victims of a system who are then victimizing other people so that they can protect themselves/think they're protecting those people. One of the best ways to do this is to just EDUCATE. People need to know facts and see the real impact of the system they're part of. Tearing them down, personally, won't do much. People have to come to their own conclusions using their own process of reasoning/logic/whatever. I plant seeds (strategically) and hope for the best. I also help people learn to advocate and care for themselves while trying to navigate those systems. I've had panic attacks, but I'm just starting out in my career as a Deaf-Ed public school teacher in 2023 Texas..it's to be expected haha. I'm overall very good at self-care, boundaries, coping, and just generally not letting the shit parts of life get in the way of me enjoying the fucking amazing parts. I've been able to get into a BUNCH of hobbies since leaving the "not a cult." I love building things, fixing things, designing and printing 3D stuff, making vector art of students to create cool posters for the classroom, simple coding for making educational games that meet individual needs of students, and a lot of other "ISTP-ish" things. I've gotten back into photography (was into it in high school) and I've been fairly successful in that arena, when I have time. We travel a LOT. Most of my photography is from those adventures. I'm about to take a break in working full time to get a Master's degree and will finally be able to get back into theatre (another high school love) as well as get my axel back after the pandemic, then teaching, halted my ability to get on the ice for a while. Most importantly: I'm HAPPY. I love being alive and experiencing everything life throws at me. If you're an INFP and you identify with old me, then you're probably in an oppressive environment/relationship, or dealing with repressed identity issues, and you need to get the fuck out of whatever is causing that. You need to find the people who support the best parts of you that YOU know are the best parts of you (not what someone else says you "should" think are the best parts of you), and learn how to value yourself even more than those people do. Get comfortable asking them for blunt feedback on your behavior/performance/perspectives/whatever--and ACCEPTING it. Learn. Grow. A fucking AMAZING future you depends on it :)
Infp friends one trick to stop judging others is to wish them well when you are interacting with them. I do it with a very critical boss that I needed to communicate with and it worked. I used to beat myself for judging others but it's how my mind works. This videos are awesome.
@@JIMISPIER Well Jimi, shame about the divorce (but then again could have been a win/win and perhaps I should congratulate you on that?;)) but great outcome in that your daughter lives with you. Is that living arrangement an outcome reaped from her voting with her feet in respect to which parent she wished to reside with?
The amount of times I've come back to this video... Thank you Mr. Joseph! I've been listening to your lectures since I was 15/16 years old AND THEY HAVE HELPED ME SO MUCH! This psychology has been a huge and useful part of my life for a long time now, (I'm nearly 19), and I've been blessed in sharing this knowledge with others as well. (I stuff it down their throats.) So thank you more than words can convey, and much blessings in your future endeavors.
I disagree, somewhat, with the INFP always judging you. YES, we do hold everyone up to a mirror of morality/values, but we also incessantly BEAM MERCY toward humanity!!! In addition, we hold ourselves up to the mirror of morality the MOST, and often find our own worth more deficient than others’. If someone is constantly at odds with our values, then yes, we will write them off permanently and have no real respect for them. However, given our tendency toward mediation and diplomacy, that person may never know it. Only when someone crosses a line with a friend or loved one will an INFP speak out in no uncertain terms. ...Who can relate??
I'm INFP. I can't relate to what you say about mediation and diplomacy. Are you sure those are INFP traits? I am blunt as heck. As far as writing people off due to their values or lack thereof, yes, that's me perhaps to an extreme.
Very interesting! Just one thing. While I've definitely made fashion mistakes in the past, I've also been known to have a good eye for it. I've heard that INFPs are 'aesthetically sensitive,' which is accurate for me and explains all the INFPs I've known who have a gift for styling themselves in subtly unique ways that are also attractive and fashionable. Having said that, I've known a few who could use some pointers in this area, but, in my world at least, they seem to be the exception.
I think most people want others to think highly of them, no? Isn't that respect? I mean... I don't know about you, but I really like being respected. I wouldn't call that insecurity. I would call that motive.
Also no im not silently judging you. Im pretty freaking honest. And i will call you out. Saying we will never admit that is a trap, and fallacy. Telling me how my brain works based on how yours does. Half the time i'm not even paying attention to you. I am paying attention to what I (Fi) am doing. We are very self aware. I think you have met a lot of unhealthy infp's. Im sorry. Maybe look into psychological projection.
C.S. Joseph no judgment here, that requires seeing in black in white, an unconcious function for me. I was pointing out what is missing, to help you. If my doing so made you feel judged or disrespected, I sincerely apologize.
I wouldn’t say everyone wants people to think highly of them. As an INTP I don’t really care about what most people think of me. If someone thinks lowly of me wrongly or because of something that isn’t true. I’m just like okay your loss
trent DeLozier thats a good mindset to have. I was meaning within the context of this video. You are right, There are situations where yes, caring too much about what others think is dangerous, yet at the same time there are situations where not caring enough is just as detrimental. In terms of respect, which is a value I think a lot of infp's whether they realize it or not is what drives their concientiousness, I don't necessarily think that is a bad trait to have. The trick is to find the middle line, and develop a balanced character. When we operate in extremes, it's not very benificial for us. Compromising our standards or others' too much and we can find ourself in damaging relationships, work environments, situations etc. and/or possibly the cause of it.
Things to know about INFP: She's so fucking brilliant. She's my favorite person on the planet so far. Ha, I actually really adore her silent judgments. The way she turns slightly and adopts this royal air makes me feel like I'm off on a Herbert spice dream in which I can see her aristocratic lineage unfolding before my eyes. Magical. Si: I have an intuition that her autoimmune disease is actually a physiological response to being devalued/overly criticized as a child. Her Si memories seem to be manifesting in her body through this disease, which is why it can go into remission through plant technology... I don't fully understand, still working on this. So far beyond lazy I can't even understand how she gets so much done. It exhausts me listening to all her projects in the outer world. Ne: We always mutually anticipate each other's needs. It's awesome. Te: Absolutely swayed by many social sources reiterating the same information and absolutely defensive if only one person is pointing something out. One hundred percent earthy. She's spirit which can't seem to ever merge fully into its body. Yes, the SWJ group think. Misleading propagandistic emotional appeals can mislead her, though I see her growing out of this especially after leaving college. She's a master violinist, so Ne/Si, I can definitely see that operating in her music. Her music is actually a conduit beyond the conscious aspects of reality. I had a mystical experience listening to her play live, which I've come to understand as a Jungian confrontation with an archetype. Fe nemesis: Yep. She's terrified that others are bad and not worth saving, and I'm terrified that they're all too stupid to be saved. Yep, neither of us can produce change directly, we will influence the geist directly, which in turn influences the influencers. Ni critic: Currently motivating her epic energy and drive toward understanding what it is she really wants. Totally felt the undercurrents of the loyalty/disloyalty polarity, though I wasn't consciously aware of it in the beginning of our friendship. I messed up once and mentioned that I pirate books and scientific papers, but phrased it in such a way that I said, "I steal, I steal a lot of books." This was in the beginning of our friendship and I've tried numerous times to assuage her fears that I steal from people, or that I would steal from her, as I have absolutely no motivation in this arena, but she still doesn't believe it lol. Oops. Quality time. We get lost for hours, and hours, and hours in metaphysical discussions. The world could literally be on fire and we would have no idea. I approach from Ti/Ne/Si, she approaches from Fi/Ne/Si and we fill out each other's perceptions in these periods in such a way that we are actively helping the other to individuate our Demons, and in the process this hones our phenomenological perceptions of the ontological nature. She's the only person I know that can see my Ti structure occasionally through her Fi structure, and vice versa. She's the Goethe to my Schiller, but we are the next evolution.
The Ti demon focused inward results in cutting (for me personally anyway), I would use knives not razor blades like some do, so the scars are not as bad. The feelings would overwhelm you and the physical pain seemed to help alleviate that internal angst, I have not "cut" since I was in my twenties and am now well beyond that, learning more mature ways to deal with this demon.
I have driven over 40 years and have an innate sense that has helped me avoid many accidents, I have never had even one accident, although the city I live in is rife with poor drivers from other countries.
Okay, the first time I watched this I tried very hard to be open to eveything he said, but I just didn't see it. There was some truth, but the whole image just seemed very off from the way I see myself and look at the world. However, after watching many of his other videos and coming to understand the psychology behind the analysis I think I can believe it's a lot more accurate. Other INFP's if you're watching this video and see this comment, remember it might not be that he's wrong, it's that the approach and reasoning is a LOT different than what you're used to. I promise if you watch his other videos and keep an open mind, you will see the connections he's making and be able to appreciate them.
That's exactly what I was about to do now, watch his other videos on Infp. Some of his stuff in this video went over my head, and some I was in doubt with. I want to see if there is really any substance behind what he is claiming in this video. For the most part, it was super accurate!
as an INFP, I do judge not just everyone, but everything. But for me individuality is one of the most important things in my life, so I think my morals and values is as important to me as other people's to themselves. So even though I'm highly judgemental, I accept people for who they are and am very open-minded.
C.S. Joseph i have done it, they stabbed me behind at work, planned to fire me, and I am not proud I did, but I was so hurt and felt betrayed, I absolutely did nothing to that girl, but being nice, yet she was a rat behind me ,
INFJ and INFP can be the best of friends! My best friend is an INFP and she sure did slash her husbands tire a couple times when they broke up! And she also is criticizing EVERYONE for their morals and she thinks she has high morals. I always have conversations with her about abortion talking ethics and she is like “yeah but I will never do that, that is sooo wrong” or her favorite “I don’t cheat I think it’s so wrong I am always home taking care of the kids” and it’s always about her feelings and her beliefs lol she calls me crazy I love how transparent she is. INFP and INFJ best friends are 2 peas in a pod we honestly had 1 petty argument out of the 14 years of friendship lol
Interesting video, thank you. If I could change one thing you mentioned though, it would be that we are constantly silently judging others because we think they have some bad. I would like to clarify this because the whole reason why infps are so so sensitive about being misunderstood is because we naturally put so much effort into understanding others. I call it collecting information. When I meet someone new my immediate response is just taking them all in without any thoughts at all. I can truly get all in a person's vibe and notice their eyes and tone of voice. This is when an infp probably seems like an air head. We are so involved with people. I love people. If I meet you for the first time, I see beauty, what happens after that and again and again and again, then I may see badness that MAY lead to a final judgement. But it's rare. And actually, this has lead me to be friends with people who take advantage of me because it was so EASY for me to see their good potential. My mother(ENFJ) used to warn me: just because someone has potential does not mean that they will live up to it. Growth and ignorance are both choices we all have, and we can't force someone to choose growth. I have also gained friends who truly hated me the first time they met me. An estp would gossip about me and treat me terrible in public, but I didnt make any judgements yet because she was new and her statements were new and so i had to reflect on all the circumstances and then i asked myself many questions, where did she come? How did she grow up? Did i come on too hard with my Ne? Everytime I saw her I watched her intently to collect more information. Once I felt that I had enough information, i know when i have enough information about a specific conclusion when I have a strong GUT feeling, then i try my best to break down barriers. To create harmony and peace. I know there is no real harmony if inside I feel like I am better than everyone else. If I or anyone, truly feels like they are better than everyone they choose disharmony and ignorance. I cannot be ok with that. I spend most of my time people watching. But I people watch with genuine curiosity and amazement at others. Because for the most part, every person has a gift to share, their unique insight. And I want to treat that gift delicately because it is valuable. If I could pick one profession, it would be a therapist. Oh and the estp who hated me, we are now friends. Because I DID NOT judge her when I first met her 😉 I do agree I can be literal, but what has made me change my viewpoints in life are experiences of others dear to me or myself. I had a terrible childhood and I am no where near that life in my adulthood because of observing patterns in human behavior. I always viewed others as more knowledgeable than me, so I was able to grow by observing others. But I only try to learn from others who are succeeding.
Haha! Laughed so hard on your take on us INFPs when we feel like being lazy and uncomfortable about doing stuff, because it's so accurate! "..and it's gonna take weeks!" 😂
I am infp and software engineer. And I have never thought about writing my personal philosophy and it's pretty good idea. and from today onwards, I will dedicate some time to write a book.
me the INFP: pops up inside a literature professor's office, no invite, expo marker in hand, already drawing on the white board w/ theories, rambling the professor: that's interesting (plottwist: I wasn't even their student)
Wow, thanks to your video I’ve realized I’ve been mistyping myself as Infj... since I can be crazy hardworking and organized when I get out of the rut... this explains so much :)
I will be the first INFP to admit that I'm silently judging everyone lol. Everyday, all the time, no matter what.
Probably
Ur intj
Or enfj
#MeToo
@@عبدالرحمنسليمان.المايسترو As an INTJ I'm obligated to inform you that if I'm judging you, I'll probably tell you.
Makes sense cause we live life through an introverted judging function
@@nuevesc Me too. I get told I'm really non-judgemental, if only they knew HAHAHA
This sounds like someone took a walk through my head and started roasting all my insecurities and mistakes at once.
Loll yes 😭🤔🤪🤪🤪😍😍
Beo Wulf its like he read my mind 😳
I know right, like, how did you know? 😅😅😅 I wonder how the theorists came up with this system. As long as we’re typed properly, it can be beyond accurate. 🤔
I kinda like it. Haha
I think our internal self talk takes us through this at least weekly ;-)
"Infp wants to be brilliant even tho they dont give a damn about logic" excuse me sir that hurt my feelings bcuz its tru :(
Mm maybe for some... I personally try to implement logic into alot of things
hmm +1
Diana Lopez same
Me too, i am infp and philosophy has a lot of logics
Our thinking ability probably exceeds the majority of other personality types. And we can feel everything. In the last 10 years neuroscience confirmed that a small percentage of people on earth have an immense amount of mirror neurons which allows us to have empathy. Most people have just some and some have none.
INFP care about the texture of their clothing IMO. Even though it's not usually super fashionable I can tell they try to be fashionable and comfortable at the same time.
I 100% agree, clothing texture is everything.
for me personally i just find fashion boring as hell. i dont care for it, because frankly it doesnt look as good as the clothes the characters in my books wear and I imagined myself. >->
As an INFP it is not about being fashionable is about how the clothes make me feel and having my own style.
Yes!
Hale Berry I HATE ITCHY CLOTHES MORE THAN MOST THINGS IN THIS LIFE
he sounds like a parent fed up with me lololol
Dahlia Ramirez RIGHT?
he sounds like he had an infp girl pop his tires after he broke up with her lol
Damn!!! Yeah I was like wtf?!?!?!
Ahahahahahaha, totally! I'd like him to be my subconscious, but not my life's narrator LOL
It's kinda nice to hear tbh. Even though he's being brutally honest it sounds really sincere, like he really does have my best interests in mind.
I cant count how many times i heard "get out of your comfort zone" -INFP
Same bestie. I’m sorry
“You’re in my bubble” me to anyone who’s in my room uninvited 🙄
I stay inside alot, scared of the real world
My dad says that I’m like isolated. That Not wanting to interact with people is bad for me.
Both of my parents are Infj’s and I’m an infp while my Brother is intp
I actually like my brother when he disregards my feelings in the way that he’s using it for memes
But when my parents disregard my feelings, they mean it HAHAHS 🙈🙈
I'd rather think "expand my comfort zone" rather than "get out".
"behind the scenes, they are silent.... they are silently judging you" I died
Yes I am LOL, but I never gossip with others my judgements.. I just create my own oppinion of you (this usually takes a lot of reflection) and keep it for myself to broaden my own knowledge on humans
I don’t feel it’s judging tho. Like everyone is on an even field. I like just seeing how fast they run which way and many other things before I toss them a ball. How am I to know what kind to otherwise?
@@jedhigh1443 Same. I love CS Joseph, I think he needs to tweek this just a tad though. Yes we are secretly evaluating positives and negatives all the time, he's right about this. But this is to form our views on a person. But where Chase is wrong is that INFP's (mature ones) tend to see the positives in most every one even overlooking the negatives that others would actually be judgemental about. So I think judging has a negative connotation and is the wrong word to use.
Same!
I’m an INFP. I give everyone a full “trust bar” (except for those who I immediately don’t have my-or others’-best interests at heart.
It’s the actions of the people towards me, and towards others, that determine where The bar sits after each encounter. (I know that I need all the information of what’s going on before I can understand if the action towards the other person would be/turns out to be detrimental to them).
I see it more that I’m judging a person as “are they still a good fit for me to continue being in a relationship with?” I understand that most people are inherently good people. But I also know that people change over time. Interests can diverge (or converge), and people’s behaviors and thinking change, too.
So, for someone to treat me as if I’ll stay the same forever-especially in a negative aspect-is to deny me the right to be seen by them as an ever-current person who is continually being affected by everything that’s going on.
I’m going through a hard time right now. I don’t know if my position at work will still be here next week. And my current intimate partner (fiancé) last night told me that I was being negative when I explained... for the third time... what my new duties are that my job has added to my plate. (I like my job, and I don’t want to be fired, but at the same time, I can’t stand waiting around to figure out if my position is important enough to continue. I can’t find a comparable job in the radius of which I currently travel. And my fiancé and I just moved and signed a year’s lease for a higher rent place to live for which we’re stuck paying if anything-on our end-happens and we have to move out.)
INFP most definitely doesn't think or feel that he or she is perfect .. completely the opposite
Exactly. As an INFP, I'm very aware of how imperfect I truly am.
Gives us an edge with self growth.
@@TheBittenBullet THIS x infinity
exactly
I personally suffer from self-flagellation ALL THE TIME
Funny thing is. I don't think us INFP think we are perfect. But we KNOW we exist in an imperfect world. We look out in the world and often feel other people are not even trying to be better and because we often do, led by our morals, I think there is easily this silent judgement. Not from any sense of perfection but we just are really idealistic. We know we aren't perfect but we look for people that are. We don't find it and get to thinking, "wow, not only are you all not perfect. You kind of suck and aren't trying to make the world a better place". Which. . I GUESS can come off judgemental 😒😂
CSJ: Most INFPS have no fashion sense
Every INFP in the video: 😲 Excuse Me! This jacket my grandma found for me at Target is a classic!!
My eyebrows went up when he said that cause I know I have no fashion sense...lol
lol true thoo even tho i love clothes its only if im in the mood to dress well
The good thing is that since I dress like crap for most of the year, people just assume that I look good in all those things but in reality, it's just familiarity. However, it does help in people noticing you when you finally dress up for once.
We INVENT fashion!!!
My mom gets my clothes cause if she doesn’t she roasts me soo…
I feel so attacked when you're talking about my dreamland. IT IS MY DREAMLAND!!!
I feel this comment so much. F that guy for coming for my dreamland
That's what I tell my ESTJ spouse. My reality is my reality!
Your reality is not my reality.
ESTJ are grounded living in the real world.
same, I will stay forever in my dreamland
@@skyrider1792 lol you just cracked me the fuck up. Thank you
@@deborahmckinney808 Hence why we need ESTJs.
"Idleness is a big problem for INFPs." I hear as I sit here watching and commenting on this nearly 40 minute video, instead of doing an assignment that I'm drastically behind on, for a class I don't like. Lmao
I wasn't spoiled, but I was raised by a very strict authoritarian who didn't allow much independence. So they made all my decisions and I didn't really learn personal responsibility. :/
that sucks :(
Omfg, this is so me, I'm scared '-'
I can relate to this so much.
I feel you. While my household wasn't authoritarian per se, my mother didn't teach me much autonomy due to her extreme neuroticism. I struggle with idleness like mad, to the point where I believe, for me personally, it surpasses treachery as my vice (although I have been treacherous out of straight up fear, then debaucherous to drown that fear out). Completely dejected Te inferior causing Ni critic to be neurotic and hypocritical without strong Ne parent to reign in a petulant Si child or to spur an idle (hell, half corrupt) Fi hero. Who saved the day? Fe nemesis. Fe nemesis is probably the reason I still have my sanity.
I'm getting better. Si is learning patience, Ne is learning to actually do things and Fi is starting to see his role but holy shit has it been a long road. Fe nemesis needs a break, though.
@@deathdoomdarkness6124 Wow, that was insightful! Thanks - from an INFJ ^^
I laughed so hard at the beginning. Everyone considers me as a super intimidating mysterious person or the opposite someone cute and naive, there is no in between.
same
I relate to this so much
Lol! That’s exactly how I am.
In church I was so shy and loving and adorable because I was dating the elder but behind closed doors I was like eh I feel like drinking and watching horror movies it’s fine. Lol! I finally left the church and am agnostic. I’m like eh this is too boring for me I want to live my own life. I told the pastor I didn’t get religion and he was so confused and afraid. Like sorry dude I just don’t get it.
@@annmarie6870 wow I actually went through a very similar situation. Didn’t get it either and just dropped it altogether haha. I feel like I’m meant to live by own beliefs and values!
"They're not really nerdy, they're earthy, they're fringe."
Spot-on
Leipziger Gnom very true, i am soooo earthy, i love smell of soil, I love earth color hiking, I am so down to earth , are you really a Leipzig resident? I lived there 6 months, I love it since Bach thought music in Leipzig Uni, 👍🏻🙌🏻✌️
I loved this comment! So true and validating! I’m a highly educated infp and frequently get called nerdy as a result but it’s all related my insatiable intellectual curiousity about the natural world and psychology. I desire so much to understand the way people think and feel.
9:25 "... If I'm not comfortable and I'm not in the mood, I'm not going to do it.". That's me all the time.
@@bogdanlazar3278 So you agree that there's a creative mood? Mental fatigue is the wrong mood for creative work, so I think we're saying the same thing.
Btw, this is a coincidence because I've been thinking about this a lot today, that I only have about 25 or 30 hours of intense work I can do a week, or an average of five hours a day. After that the mental fatigue kicks in. I'm better off doing anything else.
Felt like saying "oops sorry, I do that, is that bad?"
Sigh, I’m actually procrastinating and have been for the whole day. According to what he said, I might be in a rut. Someone help me hah-
@@Emeand33 i would've help you if i knew how to help myself first 😭😂
😅🤣🤣
It's not my fault everyone else is disappointing.
Sadly I have this too :(
🤣🤣🤣
Facts
yup.. nobody can live up to our idealism.. ENFJs almost.. but not if they are human and also have a negative side haha
Infp are constantly editing their surroundings, they are great at editing poems, essays, resumes also
ironic how this comment is edited
Yes I love editing!! I tried writing but I struggle with finishing projects so I’d rather just edit someone else’s work lol
Jeez. This is so me. I edit every freaking thing. Jeez. I edit subconsciously. Jeez. I don't even think about it, I just edit.
I think that INFPs are really good at editing things that we care about and value, but outside of that, we suck.
Spot on, I even edited this small reply (lol)
We INFP's do not perceive all people as bad, we perceive that we are very different then majority and we perceive other people better than they really are. That is our so call nativity, we aren't dumb or stupid, we just like to see world better than it is, eternal optimists. We also perceive all people as equal to us, nobody is above or below us. We want right to be who we are and whatever we want for us we grant others the same.That is reason why people in power, specially deluded ones hate us, because they sense that we treat them as equal.
I think INFPs are HUGE on forgiveness
Aw so true which is why my ex boyfriend was such a tool. Lol! Yep equal to us to accept for him lol he was on a whole other planet.
@@atomiccritter6492 that to! I’m always the first to apologize even though the other person played a part to.
Hey oooohhhh this right here!!! This the trutru! Video had me questioning all this for a second - seemed off base in ways. This is spot fucking on!!
How can you see through denial and closed eyes?
✔Shy
✔Cute, if a bit spoiled/pouty/childish
✔️Silently judges/analyzes/assesses others
✔Perfectionistic hardass to himself who's aware of the inherent imperfection in everything, yet is kinda self-righteous
✔Lazy as hell. Not gonna do it if I DoN't FeEl LiKe It! xD
✔Philosophical, even to my own detriment
✔"Society sucksssss... but some people rock!"
✔Me: "I don't care about fashion sense and my appearance!"
Others: "You should care!"
Me: "I refuse to conform to society's standards!"
Others: *stare judgingly at me*
Yep, I'm an INFP alright!
Legit relatable 😅
I got distracted like 6 times and had to wined back the video cuz I started day dreaming 😂
I lost track of how many times I've rewound. 😆
Me too😂😂
I have to do this all the time with every video I watch lmao
tadaisy Knights if only we could do that in a classroom or in a relationship haha
tadaisy Knights that is me every video, every movie, every podcast 😂🤗
No fashion sense ✔️Insecure about what others think ✔️ Silently judges others ✔️Lazy at times ✔️
For me
Lazy *all* the time
Funny, so typical of INFP to highlight the negatives.
Funny how he says "fashion sense" as if that were a trait of some value.
I have fucking amaaazing fashion sense, very individualistic someone could say, but it's not bad
ljubovv same lol
I like your video, man 👌
📝
2:57 ESTJs
4:10 INFPs and literature. Robert Green -awesome author.
5:05 very similar to ISTJs
6:39 INFJs ,ISFJs, and perfection -buddies.
7:51 ISFPs, INFPs -have those guys around.
9:12 ENFPs and INFPs can be lazy -don't get stuck in a rut and get out of your comfort zone!
11:15 The secondary problem INFPs face: idleness.
12:54 The primary problem immature INFPs face is potential disloyalty.
13:33 What mature INFPs are like. INFPs have to be taught personal responsibility
14:32 The four pillars of self intimacy...after having self-respect and properly loving yourself, people will love you then.
15:00 Functions of the INFP
15:53 How to get out an INFP out of a rut: a lot of different people/reference points -solid data- from reliable sources have to tell them to change.
16:35,20:05,22:10,23:00,25:00,26:24,28:50,29:50,30:50,34:00(recap?),36:11,37:11
woah... this great!
I’m an ESTP and my best friend is an INFP. We work really well because I can talk about myself for hours and he loves listening! He loves judging and I love being judged so that’s an awesome dynamic. I also love how I’m the ultimate realist and he’s the ultimate philosopher. I break all the rules he follows and I love laughing at his reactions when I boast about it. He’s a really awesome dude because he isn’t a spoiled or entitled INFP, and he is a really awesome friend because he seems to understand me better than I understand myself 😂 he is really mystical and fun as well. I appreciate you INFPs, you make the world a better playground for me.
You've been infpied
That is awesome. Better playground though - question that ;-)
Ryan Hoffmann I love your comment, true, we are so philosophical amazing 😉 👍🏻😆, also, interesting your last name: Hoffmann, means : hope man 👍🏻🙌🏻✌️
Awww, after being berated for x amount of times, you made my heart feel better...🧚
This just makes me feel used lol.
This is my daughter, “I don’t do drugs, drink, or sleep around, so you can’t make me clean up after myself.”
That’s hilarious. I’m an INFP and I tell my mom that exact phrase. I told her she should feel lucky that I wasn’t a teen mom or an addict and that her biggest problem is my laundry 💁🏾♀️
Christina I swear she’s the equivalent of having 3 kids! But totally worth it! 🤣
I found a new reason to justify not cleaning stuff to my parents haha
Haha I tell my mom the same thing
I used to say that to my mum too hahahahahah
Advice for any infp. If you are stressed and are at home:
Put headphones on turn on a TH-cam video or song
And clean something.
I understand as INFPs we hate cleaning most of the time but try not to focus on the cleaning so much and just fold your laundry or straighten up your room. We hate committing to things we don’t want to do so don’t start deep cleaning your room. But each day when you’re at home and feel stress build up straighten up your room for 15 minutes it works wonders and helps us get into Se without even thinking about it. My room was really messy so I spent an hour cleaning it but didn’t get it all the way clean. The next day I cleaned a little more for about 15 minutes and repeated this. Now when I’m stressed I take a break and pick up the little messes in my room while focusing on a TH-cam video.
Also build habits to allow you to use Te and accomplish goals. I bullet journal and would recommend looking into it
Good advice, thanks
Thanks, that helped.
Another advice in that same line of thought is something I learned a few weeks ago: the Two Minutes Rule. You can probably find TH-cam videos about it. Basically, for those who don't know, the rule is that if you can do something in under two minutes, you do it now. And if it takes more than two minutes, you schedule it. I wrote that down on a piece of paper and taped it on my fridge so that I am reminded of it often. It's surprising how helpful that has been since I stumbled upon that lol. It helped me with little things like the dishes, the laundry, and general clutter - because chores somehow just disappear without any real "difficult" effort and now I have a relatively clean environment at home and I feel like I have more freedom. Highly recommended if you have a tendency for procrastination like I do haha
I do this. When I'm really angry is when I can clean better. It's like punching a wall but in a good way. 😂
Thanks for the advice ☺️
First of all: ouch.
Secondly: yes.
Lol same here
Lol mood, same here
Haha :’)
The Si child is SO INTERESTING to me. I had absolutely no sense of style until I started looking into it and gathering data. I hated driving until I had done it enough to get comfortable, etc. I never made this connection to Si!
I hate driving too and i dress like a hobo. I can't focus on the road.
I absolutely relate to the part about gaining knowledge not for the knowledge and its details but for building up the personal philosophy.
I love reading history, but I rarely remember the details. Instead, I always remember the essence of the events and what it means in the meaning of life and the world.
This is so me…. Infp….. I can’t believe there are others like me
That's so accurate. ..me when I read Agatha Christie's Novels ..
@@daisyday5037 believe it
Dayummmm spot onnn
@@zombiebean6191 Keith Chegwin
I'm INFP and I finally got a very high paying job as a medical doctor... something my family members (who are sensors exclusively) are proud of, and I'm now even paying a significant amount of our family debts away, out of "being the nice one and pulling my weight", thus facilitating a perfect covert contract with them: "You guys can finally be proud of me (my status), and I'm even paying for your shit, so in exchange.... I can do whatever I want, forever, and you can't have anything to say about that!" So they are not allowed to judge me for being lazy, without ambition, having a twisted sleep cycle, spending too much time on playing video games, being worthless, or anything else anymore, as has been the case for a long time... needless to say I'm loving this :)))) And yes I'm really enjoying my job, as well.
Way to stick it to them..., er help them out like a kind and loving son, yeah that is what i meant
@stuge How did you survive the medical field? I want to be a doctor but Im doubting my capabilities.
This is my goal. Respect.
@@EnochianChronicles i love how taking revenge means giving you the stuff you need and in exchange, leave me alone. I can totally relate to that
Yes I love this! I definitely lack in the self-discipline area, but when I put my mind to something (like I did with my career), then I can make anything happen. But now that I've worked my ass off, I deserve some Netflix bingeing...every single day...most of the day...you know...
Okay, I finally watched the dreaded video, and not as bad as I feared, but a few points:
As an INFP, I have a great deal of fashion sense, since I'm artistic and good at design. I just tend to ignore fashion, seeing it as often too pretentious. I like clothes that aren't choking me with neck ties, belts, and hindered range of motion. When I want to be fashionable, I can do it, and do it well. I just don't like to. Subtle difference.
Philosophers... yes. Since a 13 year old. Lao Zi... favorite. The opposite of Robert Greene. I don't think Robert Greene and his admirers would go for the peaceful Lao Zi. Also Kropotkin.
Group think? No, never, far too independent, since a teen. The bane of my existence to not conform or fit in, and it's a major pain. Not being a critical thinker when people are young is not the same as group think, and unfortunately it seems most people quite sadly never develop sufficient critical thinking abilities, but that would not be me.
Status seeking? No, not status, more like wanting acceptance, validation. Subtle difference. Screw status, it's illusory, here one day, gone the next, and it depends on inequality, elevating one person at the expense of another. Even then I don't seek validation by selling out my individualism or my principles, so I don't get a lot of validation except from a small few like-minded people.
Violent? No, a few brief angry fits, but never, never, never physical assault. A few cheep harmless objects thrown at the floor. Maybe 5 times in my entire life when receiving an ongoing, streaming onslaught of extreme verbal abuse, my response to it shocking myself more than anyone else, usually deliberately self-sabotaged (misthrown) so as not to break anything. Pretty mild stuff compared to a lot of people I've met. It's more from my sensitive neuro-systems (I'm HSP) when someone is screeching and screaming at me, relentlessly, and it builds to unbearable levels [edit: also known as overwhelmed neuro-circuits], but I wind down and de-escalate far, far faster than anyone I have ever met. Like, within seconds or minutes, then I feel awful and embarrassed and the other person is still going at it. Horrible! No, this is not me described in the video.
*****I have to wonder what was done to an INFP to get them to slash tires. Something is being left out here in what caused that, I suspect. ****
Lazy? Possibly spells of this, but more because of a different work style that less sensitive, more extroverted types just. will. not. understand. I work in great spurts, can exhaust myself with over-focus, then drop back and am less active, repeating the cycle over and over. I think INFPs *if* like me are so sensitive (many tend to be HSP) that they hate certain work environments, just too hard on their sensory processing, and when they don't feel like working, its very, very hard to overcome the dragging feeling, even when they try. Moods, too, are hard to overcome. Coffee might help, or better working environment.
Suggested author, Robert Greene: he has rather toxic suggestions for dealing with the corporate world, some behaviors that a lot of us think are terribly alienating and which we see as products of our current dog-eat-dog, Ayn Rand inspired, social Darwinistic society, and rather than feeding this trend, would rather adopt better strategies. It might make us poorer, but it also makes us happier. I'd suggest reading Thoreau, who was allegedly INFP. He certainly was no conformist or indulgent in group think (see essay, Civil Disobedience). But rather than finding conniving ways to defeat power, he simply... disobeyed, and very publicly.
Edit 1: On judging... I can be judgemental, but there is nuance to add here. I never, or rarely, make a final judgement about a person, especially one who is in my life. I leave the door open, always revising, changing, editing my view. I often WANT to be wrong if I think ill of another. I want to see more, to be accurate, to be sure, and I look for reasons to alter my view. This is important to understand, and to leave this out is to leave out something quite relevant. I am frequently told I am strangely accurate in my first impressions, but that always comes as a surprise to me, because I'm always revising. The door simply DOES NOT CLOSE. It just doesn't. I am often delighted to find I'm wrong. And I am subtle in this. Little things, little data points, change my judgements, which are often quite nuanced. The world is not binary, black and white, but full of shades. And I have noticed most people are not like this - they decide, and that's it, done, final, end of story. I don't understand this at all.
This is why some of us say "we're not judgemental" when in fact everyone judges all the time. But there are differences, and while INFPs are always "judging", I think we're subtle and always revising, and we are capable of empathy for even the most "flawed" person. And also we turn this same lens on ourselves, and can be very harsh to ourselves.
More later, perhaps. Got some WORK to do.
Have you considered that you may be a mistyped INFJ? How did you arrive to the conclusion that you are an INFP?
I've seen numerous instances of you suggesting to people they may be an alternate type when they report something different about themselves than you think is characteristic of a specific type. I think a lot of this is just lore. In other words, opining by various writers and memes get generated and repeated until they stick, never mind reality.
I've taken numerous tests over 20 years, always coming out as INFP, and I lack some of the INFJ traits. The closest other type for me would be INTP, but I'm far too much a philosopher, dreamer, etc., to cross over into that. INFJs are far more decisive than I am, and far more Fe than I am. I see a difference. I'm very much the inward feeling person, and always have been.
When I read Keirsey 20 years ago, the description of INFP was the most uncannily accurate description I've ever read of my temperament. Especially the nearly obsessive need to be real, or authentic, and the one thing he said that convinced me is his description of the feeling of being a fraud all the time because I'm never real enough to feel as authentic as I think I should be. This is me. That nailed my entire life. I feel like a fraud unless I'm completely real. Its awful... I can never reach this ideal, and when I'm down, I feel like a fake, a fraud, not at all legitimate even when people around me tell me I'm the most real person they know. Being a fraud is something I fear.
Since then no one has described my temperament better than he did, and over the years things have kind of gone off the rails, I think, in some of the descriptions. Just my feeling about it.
Thanks for this comment. Al lot of what's mentioned in the video is just not me[INFP]. I tend to agree with the tendencies you mentioned in your comment so much more than this video. Also the reddit link you originally posted has been deleted unfortunately. It was the most appreciative post I have ever read about INFPs.
After watching this video I went and read Robert Greene's "48 Laws of Power" and found that the author says something along the lines of "You need to have mastery over your emotions" and I kind of stopped reading it right there. That's exactly what every friggin self-help books suggest...that will then lead to more self-help books that "teach" you how to "control" your emotions...and it's a never ending cycle of reading self-help books after self-help books.
I am all about understanding why I feel certain emotions...and go very deep into them. What is conquered will always come back time and time again. I don't think emotions can be "controlled" or "subjugated", they can only be understood. The very understanding of the those emotions frees us.
Mohan Bhojaraja please watch the lecture: “How Do INFJs Compare To INFPs?”
I’m an INFP and most of this is true for me except the fashion sense. I’ve always had great style. I consider my outfits to be an expression of myself. It’s art.
I have 2 fashions: Sweatpants and t-shirt (comfortable) or sweatpants and t-shirt, but with a trench coat (mysterious)
Yes he's entirely wrong about our fashion sense that would be a different type
ye i felt attacked by this i know ive always had an asthetic and firm sense of style
ya tbh i get sick of ppl copying my fashion my whole life.. i wish they hated it. it's like they think they're taking an accessory. no, thats just my heart dude.
Infps have the absolute best style of anyone out there.
Bro idk where you get your info from but as an infp there are some things I definitely disagree with. There was a time when I was younger I used to walk around judging people and thinking I was better than them and then I grew up. And I don't think I'm better then anyone I like to think each person has something brilliant unique and great about them and it might be different from me but that doesn't make me better than them or them better than me. A Hallmark of the infp is it they see the good in everybody even when nobody else can see it. I rarely judge people in a critical way. I'm always trying to see their perspective.
Alyssa : In the musical "Oklahoma," there is a fight scene between the Cowboys and the Farmers. An older lady puts a stop to the fight saying: "I'm not saying I'm no better than anybody else, but I'll be danged if I ain't just as good!" Sounds like what you are trying to say and I totally agree with both of you.
I think sub-consciously I wanna understand and grow from everyone I meet so I can judge bigger targets. Like I'm aware I'm a garbage person and make efforts to be better, but deep down I think I'm better than everyone else cos it's the only thing keeping me in this dimension ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@@unnunn12 : The fact that you want to grow and are trying to improve tells me that you are not garbage. Sounds like you have a lot of healing to do.
Hell yeah. I've been known for defending criminals and murderers because, while I don't condone their actions, I can see why they behaved like that, what brought them to do such horrible things and I can see their humanity even when many people simply judge them as monsters.
I think that depends on how you overcome your shadows, dont you think? I can agree with you as an INFP that I stopped judging ppl and I also see the good in everyone. But Iam sure not all INFPs can.
INFP here! I love your honest take 😂 It's refreshing to hear an analysis from an outsider's POV. You never get that from other INFPs. 👍
I don't even know other INFPs.
Me: hates being called cute.
All my friends: call me cute
Every TH-camr who makes an INFP video: calls INFPs cute
Agh- I can’t escape T^T
How cute of you to dislike that. ;)
Lx26 I regret the choice I made.
I hate it like being friend zoned.
I mean, even your pfp is cute
Roman A. .......
All of us INFP’s in this thread have incredibly LONG comments 😆
It comes with the territory.
You’re in INFP land. Watch out! Prepare to be reading the thread for a couple hours.
I KNOOOOOW, I FEEL HOME NOW CAUSE I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE DOING IT 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Lol, today my daughter was lecturing me about how I don’t know how to do text messages correctly, because text messages are supposed to be short but mine are super long! (She is in elementary school) it was so hilarious! Yep...I don’t know how to do short texts with my close friends! :)
@@tamtam6717 I have the same problem maybe because I have so much in my mind (shit I could've just said same but like I need to express "...because I have to much in my mind" which is the main problem with us) (again even with these extra words it became long as hell)
Hahhaaha, very true, thanks for the info. Coz it hurts my eyes and I need to just read the the first row in every paragraph.🤣
@@f.j.9391 Do go on ... !
"sit on the couch and be on my phone all day" the one thing i get yelled at more than anything else in the world....
I didn't really live a spoiled childhood but i was super protected and was always discouraged from making my own decisions and take my own actions so i still need to learn how to do that. I forget that being idle is a choice and not something that "happens to me"
Kiseo Chan I have identical childhood to yours. I feel should have been treated differently. Now when my dad yells at me for my incompetency, I feel very sad and helpless. I love him more than anything.
I had an upbringing very similar to that.
same here. Too protective parents made me an eternal child.
I can relate so much to this. It made me think about one thing: is our personality types defined by how we were raised by our parents, I mean, not especifically by our parents but by the way we were raised??? '-' Like, did we choose how to behave since we were babies because of the circumstances we were at the beggining? '-'
Why do people over-protect INFP children? Do they think we're incompetent? Or Is it that obvious that we're naive?
I’m an INFP and I’ve been basically emotionally neglected/abused throughout my childhood so I created imaginary worlds to help me cope and although they have been helpful when I was younger, I am completely stuck in this comfort rut now. I’ve gotten to a point where I felt so stagnant and became depressed so I started investing in personal growth because honestly I had nothing to lose. I am still educating myself on mbti but everything you said have about infps are accurate. And sometimes I feel like no matter what I do, I will keep going back to that comfort rut due to my Si because my fantasies have served me my entire life. My Te inferior also makes me extremely fearful of what others think of me but I am deliberately working on it. I’m a high school senior and I started doing a lot of leadership roles to get myself uncomfortable and face my fear but it’s so hard. :(
Are u male or female?
@@punkpixee female, why?
@@suwenlin3736 watch people like Kasumikris, infinite waters, RSD, the Devine feminine and many others. They are all about self improvement and fixing your life, I was in your shoes and fall into your shoes once in a while I’m still human. But having all that knowledge changed my life drastically, know that you aren’t alone and there is hope no matter how dim it seems. Eat healthy, meditate, quit p0rn and m@sturbation if you do that stuff, workout, practice journaling and share it with someone u trust. Hope this helps!
@@punkpixee thank you so much for this. i am familiar with a lot of self development topics and have been meditating for quite a while. things have gotten better but it’s hard for me to get to that point of complete self-transformation but i’m hoping that as long as i continue on this path, i will surely heal my past one day. i will definitely check out those youtubers! much appreciated
Honestly, you are so ahead of your years and I applaud you for being in high school and already understanding the idea of self-growth and development! Most people live a lifetime and never think about it, or refuse to believe they could benefit from any type of growth, so you're already ahead of the game! I also want you to know that INFPs are the harshest critics of ourselves...we don't only judge other people, we judge ourselves much more. It's a weird thing to explain, because to a certain extent we can truly believe we are morally superior to others, but only in the sense that we know we AREN'T better than anyone. And we know most people don't ever feel that way, or understand that we all have faults, so we tend to pat ourselves on the back for that haha! You have SO much time! I started to stop caring what other people thought of me in my early 20's, and as a 35 year old, I can say the last 10-15 years have just gotten better and better every year! Hang in there.
Also, I was the same as you and developed my inner fantasy world as a means of escape from an early age. My parents were great, but I had some issues with an early caregiver which is when I developed that "ability." It's a true gift. It's sad that we were forced into it so young, but we are lucky to have the capability of living 24/7 in a dream world if we must. The older you get and the more confident you get, the less you will feel the need to live in that world constantly, but it will always be there as a back up which is comforting in and of itself :-)
My Fi Hero and my Si Child got me into inactivity, which brought me to this video, which made me take action.
*Thanks dude.*
I'm an INTJ, my younger brother is an INFP.
I'm 7 years older than him and for a large portion of our childhoods both our parents worked, so I helped to raise him. I spent a lot of time and energy micromanaging things to turn him into the perfect little brother. Now, We are 32 and 25 respectively and I rely on HIM to be my moral compass when my ISFJ inner demon emerges. Guess I succeeded...
INFP male here. I have never once thought about damaging someone else's property (or body) because of a nasty breakup. I would think that NFs, in general, would suffer from the empathic backlash of hurting anyone for no other reason than spite. If the other person were at fault -- for egregious cheating, or some such nonsense -- I could see myself emotionally and psychologically dissecting and eviscerating him. But that also takes energy....best to just kick him out, and then ruminate about it for months/years while using the punching bag in the garage.
Another way to healthily criticise an INFP: get an ENTP to talk about/to them for 30 minutes. It will change their lives lol.
My "secretly judging" self found you one of and probably the most accurate and fun to watch videos about INFPs here on youtube. Thank God for ENTPs
Reza Evergreen hah awesome! Much appreciated.
I am an infp and my dad is an Entp(could be an estp cz as much as he is an intellectual man, he is very active physically). He is proud of me in every way. When we fight it's sarcastic and my dad can never win because I always get the last word unless I am not knowledgeable about the topic we are debating about. Sometimes he would be like "you are such a brat" my reply will always be, well the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. He even pays my university expenses but I still love my mom(esfj) the most. She is a very strong woman and she tells me, I love you the most in this whole world. My mom is one of my best friend. Both of my parents are professor and I am their one and only daughter. My parents were always very concern about my grades and I was scared of letting them down still I feel blessed.
I always feel on the edge around ENTPs and I'd presume it's caused by their Fi trickster that makes them feel as if they have to watch over their every step around me, because they subconsciously are too self-aware to not be aware of the fact that my biggest mode of operating is precisely one they're oblivious too. And since my decision derives from their biggest weakness I'm guessing they just hardly ever gain an understanding of my functioning. I see myself acting very similarly around any Se-doms, insecure to the core that prepares for projecting my own emotions each time the self-perceived threat becomes too much too bear.
Can confirm. An ENTP friend has talked me out of some seriously depressing mindsets before, completely changed my life. They are true heroes.
As an INFP who is getting their masters degree: I feel seen. This all explains so much about my life 🙃
Same
INFP's strive for perfection knowing we will never obtain it. Like Hemingway said. "True nobility is not being superior to your fellow man. True nobility is being superior to your former self. This guy has a thing for INFP.
Just keep loving yourself and you’ll know when to set the standards, even when no one else does.
You see Mr CS Joseph, if the Infp doesn’t love himself how are the standards supposed to be set????
Would an INFP try to act non-competitive and hide that they are competing? I’m supposedly an INFP and have always done this.
I do that too 🤣 hate competitions because I'm always conflicted, I want to win but I don't want to seem like I want to win; I hate losing too its super frustrating so I tend to avoid competitions it messes me up, I care too much
Dead M never related to something so deeply lol. I’m secretly competitive even with board games.
@@myrtila lol yessss
This is me too 😂 I thought I was the only one. This is why sometimes avoid playing games
September Plaid Makes sense. The shame thing: If you lose badly, you can always say “Well, I wasn’t competing, wasn’t trying.” A face-saving “out”.
I usually get anxious around competition. A part of me wants to win badly, get the ego strokes; another part looks ahead and runs thru the “loser”/shame/“I am the most inept in the world” script; and another part (more detached) philosophizes about how winning would be temporary, fleeting in its fulfillment, a path to increasingly larger (ever more unobtainable) cravings, and thus a hollow and ultimately self-destructive victory. Oh, and then there’s a 4th part that observes all these mental processes and comments on how extreme, over-generalizing or catastrophizing some of these thought processes are - the inner “cognitive therapist”.
Labyrinths of the mind.
An INFP who truly loves and embraces himself doesn't give a fuck about what people think, he'd only be worried about how to express his inner ideal world to the outside world in a concrete way (Te). As an INFP that's the impact of my inferior function on me. I guess the best way to balance Fi and Te is by bringing our ideals and philosophies into reality where they can become a part of the world's Te, so i guess our biggest struggle is trying to find the right way to translate our Fi to Te ie. a translation mechanism
Well said.
Wowwww kind of agree of this
Dude, I am an INFP who has just went really into learning personality typea within the last two weeks. This video is by far the greatest, most in-depth video I have seen on the INFP and on my end, there is such gratitude for this video.
Well done and Thank you.
Glad it was helpful!
Thanks for breaking us down and building us back up! I love watching your videos and always feel a lil smarter after having engaged with an ENTP. I come back to this video when I feel like I'm avoiding reality and playing video games all day. It helps snap me out of it and it very encouraging at heart.
I got your back. I lost everything to WoW... so I get it.
I only play video games all night instead of all day, it seems to help. During the day if not working I read and watch youtube posts like this. However when I find a really good video game I play until the day and need to sleep right though till night again, perhaps I have tricked myself?
oh god. so spot on it actually hurts... literally 100000% me. ugh. the fashion thing... damnit. very true- always trying to balance trendy shit with my individuality and wanting to stand out but not too much because then people will notice me and then they'll judge me... maybe even as much as I'm judging myself already or maybe even as much as I'm judging them LOL infp logic
you mean rationale :)
Is bad bunny an infp he has amazing but unconventional fashion sense!
Lol. I have no sense of fashion😂😂😂😂
That is so true 😂
Oh my gosh. This is exactly how I feel about clothes.
I remember first time watching this, i was shocked at how true all this was and how harsh he is. It was like a very harsh reality check for me, but now after watching most of his videos and coming back here i was like he’s actually quite nice in this one. Compared to his some of other videos XD
Good times
Yes can vouch for that one 😂. INFJ here.
The INFP should never be treated harshly because we love so much and only want to please. So whatever expectation you put on us, we try to achieve for you, even though it typically just makes us want to throw up, because we LOVE so much. But that’s bad now, so we conform to your definitions. All the while moving away from what love really is until here we are now… INFPs want to please so much they are going out to become doctors when all they wanted to do was pet a puppy. Your expectations are crippling to us and we no longer know how to live in this world and that’s why all the love is gone.
It’s all about the dreams man.
@@CarrieRudolph-kt6rc
"The infp should never be treated harshly"
Translation: i am an extremely self-abaorbed, lazy, self-righteous and selfish and think that the world revolves around ME.
Please do not shatter my fragile ego with the truth.
I am an INFP I spent my entire childhood reading everything. Not speaking to anyone because I grew up in hell and I had no protection. So I read the entire western literary canon and every bit of history and biography I could get my hands on.
When I grew up, I pulled out my flaming sword of justice and went after my Sexually Violent Predator abuser in order to protect other children from him. I went to school and started working professionally in maximum security forensic psychiatric facilities, and went on for 34 years after him until I got him investigated. I made his life hell until I got him. While also working in Hospice as well. I was willing to lose my family, and relatives etc. Because I dont care when justice is on the line. As I age I have become more withdrawn. At 59, I'm tired now and feel like the world is going to hell, and there is nothing else I can do because I have always seen the future accurately and it sucks.
Though, I was a gifted music student at university before I switched to psych tech/med nurse, as well as artist. So there's that. So perhaps I should get my paints and paper out again.
Yes it is time to heal and art is very cathartic. I have not drawn or painted since my dad passed away 9 years ago and I also am deliberating on renewing that passion/dream.
In sorry for all you went through you were very strong and mature to read so much while others dragged you down! I get you feeling tired bc sometimes I do too but the future is not always bad- have you read boundaries by cloud and Townsend? Those books have created happiness in my life
I would like to write to you. Do you write?
Just wanted to say that I appreciate your video. I'm a male INFP. The first time I watched this I came away thinking you just had a bad past relationship that colored all your thinking on my type (I still think this, just less so now). Now that I've watched this again I'm struck by how you are actually very even handed in your description of the type, pointing out just as many (if not more) strengths as weaknesses. INFP's struggle with constructive criticism, and that is why I think some of the responses on here are so negative.
Some of your descriptions on the INFP type feel off to me, but that is fine because what I find most valuable about your video is I think it is the best example of how other types perceive the actions and reactions of INFP's. And for me, as a classic INFP, perception/feeling is reality, so this is very useful. So thank you for a very well put together and insightful video. I'll definitely subscribe and watch your channel.
If you are an INFP watching this and maybe upset at his description, remember that this is how some types see our actions/thoughts/feelings. So take the necessary steps to change their perception. That is one thing (among many) that INFP's are good at!
I'm fine with accurate criticism and I have a lot of self-criticism of INFP characteristics; criticisms which are probably valid, I think. I know what I struggle with, and I know the reasons, and I've had to learn to have self-understanding, which is the entire point of MBTI theory, originated by an INFP, by the way. It's about insights leading to better understanding, not just criticism for the sake of criticism.
What I don't like is inaccurate criticism OR slanted criticism that says as much about the perspective of the critic as the object of the criticism. For example, the "laziness" thing he gets into sounds just like my hyper-extroverted father who never understood my sensitivity (I'm also HSP or Highly Sensitive Personality), something my extremely outgoing workaholic father simply had no experience with to enable him to empathize, so my introverted nature was seen as "laziness" rather than sensory overload, and the resulting discomfort, and withdrawal from the intensity of the harsh external world. I worked my ass off for him, but I was always a late-starter, always had days when I was off a bit, but days when I worked harder than he did and I always brought a great deal to the table, often correcting his extroverted errors, his lack of seeing detail, even saving his ass in ways he never saw, all due to his own traits. He never really saw my contribution or saw what I did to balance his own crap.
[Edit: this cultural value in American society, of working one's ass to the bone, where Americans take less vacation time than any other industrial nation in the world, is not actually a healthy value, and far too many buy into this without knowing it is part of the culture they were born into. Thus, people value excesses of work more than laid-back, more relaxed lifestyle as a cultural norm, but in Europe they know the value of longer vacation time and taking longer lunches, etc. Newsflash: the American tendency to obsessive work ethic and overloading themselves with production, production, production, is not universally shared outside of this money-driven country. So extroversion is valued over introversion, insensitivity is valued over sensitivity, working 'till you drop valued over smarter, more paced approach, etc. This is mirrored in the attitude of this fellow who made this video.]
This video is much like my father and how he would view me, and it took years for me to understand how wrong he was about me, and how damaging to my self esteem his bullshit was. Yes, he'd call me lazy, lackadaisical, dreamy, thought I was emotional, didn't understand my artistic nature at all, didn't appreciate my constant philosophical approach, didn't understand my rather sensitive ethics, had no clue how smart i was, didn't know how to best utilize my talents, and also never saw my logical side and that I was actually far better at logic than he was... he just never saw it.
And sorry, as an INFP, I don't lie, as this fellow in the video asserts. You want to criticize something? Criticize my excessive honesty (ethics based), because that's actually been a problem, my gushing out the truth before I can stop myself. Not that I can't engage in little lies here and there, but no, not a liar, I'm a bit too honest for my own good, and that was one criticism my father was probably right about, but even there he never understood WHY I was so ethical and honest. He never empathized.
Empathy is one thing true criticism should not lack, because understanding motives and why people act the way they do is an important component of a true critique.
And then when a person pushes back against this fellow's self-concocted narratives and anecdotally-based opinions derived from his run-ins with girlfriends, he declares them to be of another type, as if he's infallible, or he thinks INFPs couldn't have a rational, valid analysis compared to him. Utter nonsense.
For more, see my comment made a few days ago.
I completely see where you are coming from and I can tell you have a good understanding of the intricacies of the interplay between Si child, Ne parent and Fi hero. However I think he gives a good description of an INFP that has had little to no development of the Si child. An immature INFP as it were, one at the mercy of the Te inferior and Fe nemesis. I've seen myself that an immature INFP can behave exactly as he describes. Your description of your past would result (I would imagine) in a very mature Si child, which would allow the Ne parent to do an even better job at driving the Fi hero. Mature INFP's are often mistaken with other types since they exhibit so few of the stereotypical INFP behavior, and tend to hide their thoughts (thus-mysterious). That is in fact why the stereotype exists to begin with, the mature INFP's are mistaken as another type while the immature ones end up representing it.
I don't blame him for missing some things. INFP's are a very hard type to understand unless you are one (sometimes not even then), and he does an excellent job in his break-down of the cognitive functions and their behavioral drivers. I've learned a lot from watching his videos.
Omegawhite, All young people display "immaturity" but when I was young, I was extremely sensitive to my environment, and that has not changed, I'm still the same, especially when stressed. This is not "immaturity", but a permanent part of who I am, and I would not be the person I am without that, and it is not a fault, but a trait, an important part of my identity. It has its positive and negative aspects, and I would never want a lobotomy to change that neuro-sensitivy. Thus, when I was a kid, I didn't need to be more mature, as it were, I needed to be understood, and to be helped to approach the world working WITH my nature, not against it. Sorry but your comment is not value-free, and reflects the "insensitivity is good/sensitivity is bad" or "extroversion is mature/introversion is immature" binary of American society.
You are assigning a negative connotation to "immature" and a positive connotation to "mature" where one does not exist. These are not statements of value, they are states of development. A "mature" Si child means that the INFP has a breadth of experience from which they can draw accurate conclusions on the information acquired by their Ne parent. This then allows the Fi hero to decide what to do about the information. In short, the information gathered by Ne is presented to Fi who then asks - 1. What are these feelings? 2. Where did they come from? 3. What will happen because of this? It is the Si child that answer's these questions. A well developed Si child will answer correctly, while an underdeveloped Si child could get it wrong. This is what is being referred to when you hear "mature" or "immature".
Where you state -"Sorry but your comment is not value-free, and reflects the "insensitivity is good,/sensitivity is bad" or "extroversion is mature/introversion is immature" binary of American society."- I think you mistake my comment. While I agree with your sentiments exactly, that 'binary' is the feeling/perception that people who feel that way use to lead their life. As INFP's we understand better than anyone that feeling/perception drives behavior far more than logic. It is both something that we live with and fight against our entire lives.
By the way, you have the author's jargon uncannily down pat.
I had a good laugh watching this. Pretty spot on. As an INFP I would say our fashion sense is very individualistic, quirky, and always authentic to our true selves.
Thank you for sharing all this information. It is SO helpful!
I am INFP, and was raised by my INFJ Mama. She helped me overcome A LOT of the negative parts of my personality.
I watched this again.
Still informative.
The tire popping and physical harming thing, I think those are marks of INFP immaturity.
Personally, I've been harmed so much by others in various ways, that I truly do not ever want to hurt anyone else or their things.
I know that everyone is capable of harming, and so now I constantly run checks of my behavior and intentions...because really, any of us could fly off the handle if we dont have ourselves in check.
sunny mccalister
Please don’t let this become an obsession. As an INFP with extreme OCD at one point, it can ruin your life. Practice self-compassion and ALWAYS breathe. It allows energy to follow through you, and not be bottled up.
For INFPs watching though, this hard on other types too, so if you think he is harsh on INFPs specifically it's not really true.
"I'm always perfect"
No, just no.
A lot of stuff said in this video i just dont agree with, but this one the most.
@@enderlove2794 hes just spouting bs about the online stereotype of INFP IMHO
@@atomiccritter6492 Watch some more of his videos. I think you'll find that his knowledge of personality types is much deeper than the stereotypes.
@@TheBittenBullet why should I. hes a joke
@@atomiccritter6492 I think you took what he said too literal , but wtv you do you it's not that serious.
I laughed when you mentioned our (INFP's) lack of fashion sense- I have to agree. I am VERY self-conscious about my clothes & a lot of my fellow INFP's wear weird clothes too : ) But it's inaccurate to say INFP's are status conscious- we're generally the opposite. What we're conscious of is doing what's right (which you later mentioned) even if it means looking foolish while standing up for what's right. It's not status we crave- it's fairness/justice.
P. Harvey that’s fair, however status can and will be craved by the more immature which is typical of most people. Luckily it sounds like you are mature or may be at risk of being an INFJ instead :P
True, status is something a lot of immature people crave, regardless of type.
P. Harvey more so Te users, but fair enough
I don’t think my fashion sense has ever been bad different but not bad now I want status but not for having status but because with status comes with the resources I need to help change the direction our world is heading in ☺️
In my experience, we do develop a strong internal desire to be accepted and revered by others. Social skills (I.e., charisma, style) do not come naturally to us, so I think we can get very obsessive with trying to accommodate physical appearance and mannerisms to other people (after being constantly teased for being weird, which is literally all internalized over the course of years.)
infps presents themselves in a very aesthetic, charming way...they seem like super cool people...or at least, until you discover all the emotional bullshit underneath lol
also, because it's possible that this comment triggers infps, (I would get a little bit irritated too!) I'm gonna say something...Dear infps, YOU ARE NOT YOUR OWN EMOTIONS
everyone has emotional baggage, me too, I hope I didn't make anyone salty hehe
@@soniac697 I´m infp and i think infps see or experience emotions as more "real" than most other types, like "i feel good/bad, there for it really is good/bad. It wouldn´t feel good/bad for no reason" and so on. Not triggered lol, just trying to explain.
God I can relate
@@draug7966 Honestly the most important things ive found for my self development in regards to my emotions and regulating them is in regards to looking to other functions other than just what my Fi is telling me. Lke for instance considering Ne and how else i could also be feeling (like instead of nervous/anxious im actually i may aucatally be excited) and also making sure to take an actie part in looking after my Si and doing what I can to be comfortable like making sure to eat/sleep/exercise properly as many people (espically those who are intuitive or those who just have mental health problems) often ignore the importance of looking after their body. Anyway thats my 2 cents on the topic...
Omg u took the words right outta my mouth
I have not gone “demon mode” and destroyed someone else’s things since I was a child. I’m 27 now and it’s been well over a decade.
You had me cracking up talking about laziness though. Too accurate. I hope my entj s/o can help me get it together.
I have many times
As an INFP I am not really concerned what people think of me, though it has taken me quite a long time for me to get that way. I still don't have much of a fashion sense though.
Here is my personal philosophy. I've been thinking about this and working on it for a long time now, but have just recently started writing it down. It's still a work in progress. A lot of it comes from Bruce Lee, the movie The Robinsons, and the phrase (& song) C'est la vie.
1. Be flexible, adapt to situations as they come up.
2. Don’t rely on styles. Styles separate us all. Use what works, get rid of what doesn’t, and make it your own.
3. Be the best that you can be, don’t try to be like anyone/everyone else.
4. There are plateaus in life. You must go beyond them.
5. It is the journey that is important, not the destination. Be mindful of that.
6. Life is an ever-flowing process of continuing growth.
7. C’est la vie - such is life. Somewhere on the path of life some unpleasant things will happen - some of which may leave a scar, but life flows ever onward.
8. Keep moving forward as each experience teaches us a lesson.
Awesome, well said!
👍
Well I don't agree totally with NO 5
Cuz I believe that both journy and destination are very verry important
It might just be me, but do any other INFPs constantly eavesdrop on their friends? It's not even like I'm trying to catch them say something bad or a lie, I just naturally do it. I guess because INFPs tend to be great listeners.
The Mad Hatter yes you are correct. They are great at eavesdropping, similar to ISTJs and ISTPs.
Eavesdrop on friends? Doesn't resonate. Not that I wouldn't do it, only that I haven't had this happen.
Kent
Not with me either
I’m a chronic eavesdropper, doesn’t matter if I know them or what they’re talking about lol, I just gotta do it
Yes, I am doing that often even though I don't have any intention to eavesdrop. It's just happened naturally.
"Just realize that your a human being and there's other human beings in this world"
I do realize this and personally when I was younger I was very self envolved and closed minded to the aspect of other people having there own needs, but as we grow up we self improve and see other people's struggles. As an INFP (I don't know if this is how everyone else thinks) but I believe to have a better world we must all be aware of "other human beings in this world" and to notice each others struggles to actually help eachother out. I'm slightly hurt at this comment because I don't want others to think that I'm super self envolved, the only reason I stay in my little bubble is because yes the world is a harsh place and i would like to help out some way but to do so I want to try my best to become the best person I can be so that i can give my sincere love and help to others.
Ouuuch. I needed to hear this though. Must be self-disciplined. Must stop waiting for someone to discipline me FOR me.
HARUNOboy17 You are beautiful. Do not change, just get better at being you. Look for people who appreciate you. Being 'a responsible adult' is just other words for selling your soul to the system. I'm pretty sure that having morality as your guiding principle is not about believing that 'people are bad'. (as long as you don't inflict your personal morality on others - but keep up the SJW work the rest of us lazy people are extremely greatful)
mary: Yes, yes, and furthermore, yes.
HARUNOboy17 yes, sometimes we have to allow ourselves to feel the sting of truths to be able to mature and I'm cheering you in your decision to be consciously self-disciplined cos I know it's gonna be hard and take a lot effort most of the time, not to mention consistency. I'm an INFP and as I mature, I'm realizing nothing can be achieved without it and it's a waste cos we have the potential to contribute a whole lot of good to this world but sometimes we just get so stuck in our head, all our good intentions aren't manifested :( Still, don't be too hard on your self if u will start to feel like you're coming short of it, I'm struggling too so I hope it'll encourage u to remember that your efforts, even the minute ones, are not wasted ☺️
@@Qvotes I know you wrote this to another person but I thank you for saying that. I'm an INFP aswell trying to mature.. As C.S Joseph said, I was spoiled so... yep.. Just imagine how fucked up I am as an adult of 23 years old.. I don't want to be a shitty person anymore..I want to be more realistic and actually ACT for once and all. I've been stuck for soooo long just inside my mind and not being realistic.. I've noticed that will lead me to nothing and I need to change like right now. (sorry abt bad english though)
How do you do it? First you blow me away with INFJ and once again my jaw is on the floor. You just described my INFP husband. Honestly, I (INFJ) went through some issues with accusations of infidelity a few too many times in the past and my husband (INFP) felt criticized and rejected and well, still a few holes in the wall. It was like a tornado, broke anything within reach. Blown away that you described both of us to a T. Never happened again and were still going strong. Curbing my criticism was huge. A million thank yous for this. Now I know what the inner demon looks like and love that part of him too. Finally, some answers. Keep up the good work and Bless you for all you do for humanity.
You are most welcome!
Wow, this video has motivated me to change for the better, there are so many issues that i could relate to. I'm currently super undisciplined and feel like i have lost some good qualities i once had and lost myself. Man,I have a lot of work to do. This is an amazing video.
I gotta get it together bro... The more criticism, the more painful, but the faster you grow!
Yeah. I learned that our Ego, conscious can be used way more constructively.
Think of your ego as 'The center field of consciousness'.
Don't unite, be one with the ego but use it as a field, a tool to be empowered, grown and learn.
"The most intelligent observe without judging"
Granted, we do judge all the time but spending less energy and more on the subconscious functions, as in try as much as you can bring that meditative state, take vita D, fish oils, whatever helps and you can more easily absorb crucial information and be more authentic.
Me, an INFP reading the comments instead of listening to the video
I dont want to be brilliant. I want to be on my own island. Invisible. So I can dance and sing without feeling others.
My career is music. A lot of INFPs are high level performers... pianists and cellists indeed, and many other instruments. ISFPs too are tremendous instrumentalists very often. Not watched your ISFP video yet guessing you might bring that up... their artistry.
hahah i love the Fi Hero is silently judging you. Yes very true but also i am constantly judging myself as well! If it makes anyone feel any better :)
Charisse Edwards well said
And it's not judging to necessarily find fault but to get the info we need to see the big picture of that person as a whole in my opinion
Holy smokes. You’re so harsh, but I actually appreciate it lol. I feel like you've been following me around my whole life!
Minus popping tires and destroying things lol. I get very angry sometimes, but at the end of the day, if I get close to someone I will always be in their life. As long as their a good person. Just might take working through my anger to get to the post break up friendship.
Wow. Amazing. As an INFP, i feel seen!
Now three critiques:
1 - You said to help an INFP change, you need multiple credible sources. Good call, and I'll do you one better: Walk them through looking at their life through their own high standard. ie. "I love how you want to make the world a better place. Now how are you doing that?" (Btw i think this video does that wonderfully)
2 - They'll slash your tires, destroy your physical world, and even physically hurt you? What?? I've been pretty upset with people, but I've never come close to any of that. Subconsciously i might get revenge emotionally or mentally, but on a conscious level i never want to see myself hurting someone... unless it's to protect innocent life.
3. You repeat yourself a bit, which makes the video twice as long... but keep making videos, keep talking, because you'll become more streamlined with practice.
3 - I'm amazed at your ability to retain and articulate such complex information, and then deliver it in a clear and entertaining way. After watching this, i feel more motivated, and even more curious about Robert Greene.
Thank you for producing this video 🙏🏽
you are most welcome
I think it may be rare that the Ti demon emerges, I have dealt with it through systematic attacks on my ego from a young age. From family, friends and teachers, peers and even those I looked up to. This results in explosive and physically volatile eruptions. I could snap if criticized for the umpteenth time, or at times when someone attacked someone I loved and cherished, or if I saw injustice right before me, the strong attacking the weak etcetera either verbally or physically.
Most people got warning before I unleashed the beast. Stop that behaviour or else, I liked to give three warning, strike three and out he came. I was athletic and had been unknowingly (by my dad) taught some basic martial arts (my mom would not allow it so he did it secretly, so much so even I did not realize our playfighting was kata).
I was known to break things, punch walls, I did not really want to hurt anyone, just show them how they made me feel within, and that they unleashed this behaviour in me through their insensitive and thoughtless comments. Our words do indeed have consequences. I never hit anyone in the face, well once in a red rage but I was not in control of the beast that day, I literally saw red, and awoke from a dream state afterwards, hard to describe. I preferred to hit them in the gut, knock the wind out of them and also the fight. Once in awhile I met someone who knew how to fight and then the muscle memory of my dad's teachings would come out, I did things I was not aware I was capable of.
Once a group of six guys passed me in the mall, I was leaning back trying to look cool of course with my Korean friend. One of the smaller boys (we were all teens) looked over and said "What are you a faggot?" I snapped as this was a trigger phrase for me , (never feeling masculine enough, since I never got the girl, which only added to my frustrations) and yelled and pointed "All six of you outside right now!" This was bellicose hubris on my part. No way I could have won against those odds, but at that moment I did not care about winning, only about making him understand his words would have consequences. The two largest guys came over to me and asked me to calm down, I was 5'10" about 175-180 and all muscle, they were both over 6 feet but none had the look of being a fighter, a thing I learned to distinguish early in my life being that I could be quite confrontational to those that crossed my value barrier or tried to belittle my sense of manhood (Irish Scottish ancestry, my family line was from a long line of warriors). They said "he was only joking" I responded "then he best learn what is and is not funny because I am not laughing". I can only imagine perhaps because I was with an Asian friend and due to my unabashed insolence they must have believed I knew how to fight, or perhaps they were used to this belligerent behaviour from their small friend and this was the first man crazy enough to call out their group for this. I came to my sense and let them walk off, my adrenaline had drained and I was thinking more clearly, my poor friend did not know how to fight and was shocked by this even though he knew me well and knew if you crossed my boundaries you would awake this hidden and dormant creature from my fragile psyche.
All this occurred in my youth and a lifetime ago, but perhaps you can see that it is indeed a possibility if criticized unending an INFP reverts completely within and draws out his own hero to save him in the form of this demon (not a hero at all). My apologies for my lengthy diatribe and stories although I felt they were important in the interest of clarity and full disclosure, I hope this helps my fellow INFP's who were spared the first hand knowledge of this horrid aspect of our persona, and no I am not something other then an INFP so back off JACK, I know who and what I am, all to fully well.
C.S. Josephs explanation was quite insightful and accurate in many ways, although as per other comments from such as Kent who elaborated and expounded quite eloquently on Jospeh's lack of personal experiences as an INFP not withstanding.
On a side not, in my twenties, someone parked their car in my parking spot. I was quite annoyed and felt that swift justice should be enacted upon this unsuspecting violator of my lawful place. I mused over various responses I could take, not even really meaning to act upon them but enjoying the thoughts nonetheless. I had my car key in my hand and as if by an unconscious act, next thing I knew I was keying his car, a very long scratch down the entire passenger side. In retrospect (only moments later) I feel that I over reacted excessively. His minor offence, and waste of my time having to seek other alternative parking, did not warrant such a severe punishment. But it was too late, my momentary sense of being violated and disrespected (even though he did not know me) erupted in this childish and uncharacteristically spontaneous action. Perhaps the slashed tires were a result and this same transition from fantasy to reality, in an instant, feeling like you needed to be the catalyst of immediate justice and karmic forces upon the offender of your feelings and loyalty?
Live with my ex ENTJ with narcissistic traits for 8 years. You will meet you Ti demon . I did. It’s scary, almost uncontrollable, I did not recognize myself. I never wish to be in that position ever again.
yea i definitely don’t agree with what he said about us slashing tires or hurting ppl, maybe mentally i take revenge but that’s only after giving so many chances to a person and them constantly taking advantage of me
“..and that could take weeks”
17:00, spot on. When someone has data to back up whatever they are criticizing me for, I take it seriously and then feel obligated to change my actions.
I hope you see this! INFPs are prone to mental illness (yay) and as someone who has known many self-abusive INFPs (eating disorders, self harm, addiction, etc.) I was wondering how this would fit in? Also, I'm an INFP who is EXTREMELY organized. To the point that my external environment at home HAS to be organized and calming for me. My home is my only safe place and I need to be able to come home and not have another stressful thing to deal with. I can come home and unwind and process my day, and just things in general. If my roommate leaves a mess on the kitchen counter? Demon mode activated. I've spiraled into panic attacks on bad days where I've come home and found some "small" mess. Mostly because I see it as utter disrespect, but I don't physically hurt others or their things--I'm prone to hurting myself, instead, to keep myself controlled and still appearing composed to those who have hurt me. (This also allows me to gather my thoughts and I have DESTROYED people with words. I just tell them my totally accurate understanding of who they are and their greatest flaws and..well they regret whatever they did. But I also usually regret the way I told them--later.Though, I never regret being honest, just being disrespectful in my honesty). If I can't compose myself in the moment, I'm a screamer. I just start yelling childish gibberish and I run. I've also been told, for me, these are anger attacks (panic attacks). This person isn't understanding me and is using more and more Te/Fe on me to squash me; they have me cornered and I don't know what else to say and so I just explode (but I don't want to physically hurt them or their things), so my brain just melts down and I scream and leave until I can find someone to talk with to calm down, and then help mediate the conversation. So...how does being SUPER organized, overly composed, and abusive toward the self fit in?
ESTJ subconscious development with Fe nemesis worrying how others value you.
@@CSJoseph ah, yes, ESTJ, my least favorite type. Right up there with ESFJs. *shivers*
@@CSJoseph someone replied to this like two weeks ago and I think they deleted the comment before I could get to it. I hope you see this! They said something about this describing their state of being right now and asking me how things are going for me.
SO. It's been 4 years. Shortly after writing that comment, I left the "not a cult" non-denominational evangelical church of christ I grew up in (26 years) and came out as a lesbian--previously didn't even know that gay was a thing until high school. I'm *not* what I wrote in the original comment anymore. Getting out of an oppressive system and being able to unlock a integral part of who I am and live completely authentically while also being in an environment that *highly* values me healed me in a way I never knew I needed. I'm now a research-driven, facts-requiring, 700-pages-of-research-reading-overnight-to-combat-the-entire-college-administration-on-a-livestream-and-saving-a-program kind of INFP. I'm with an *actual* INFJ art teacher who is messy as fuck. The place is usually not extremely tidy, and it truly has to be a DISASTER to throw me off..and then I just tidy up a wee bit, if I can. If I can't, I'm still good. I don't go off on people. I haven't screamed at someone in 4 years lol. I go after the systems behind corruption..most people are victims of a system who are then victimizing other people so that they can protect themselves/think they're protecting those people. One of the best ways to do this is to just EDUCATE. People need to know facts and see the real impact of the system they're part of. Tearing them down, personally, won't do much. People have to come to their own conclusions using their own process of reasoning/logic/whatever. I plant seeds (strategically) and hope for the best. I also help people learn to advocate and care for themselves while trying to navigate those systems.
I've had panic attacks, but I'm just starting out in my career as a Deaf-Ed public school teacher in 2023 Texas..it's to be expected haha. I'm overall very good at self-care, boundaries, coping, and just generally not letting the shit parts of life get in the way of me enjoying the fucking amazing parts.
I've been able to get into a BUNCH of hobbies since leaving the "not a cult." I love building things, fixing things, designing and printing 3D stuff, making vector art of students to create cool posters for the classroom, simple coding for making educational games that meet individual needs of students, and a lot of other "ISTP-ish" things. I've gotten back into photography (was into it in high school) and I've been fairly successful in that arena, when I have time. We travel a LOT. Most of my photography is from those adventures. I'm about to take a break in working full time to get a Master's degree and will finally be able to get back into theatre (another high school love) as well as get my axel back after the pandemic, then teaching, halted my ability to get on the ice for a while.
Most importantly: I'm HAPPY. I love being alive and experiencing everything life throws at me. If you're an INFP and you identify with old me, then you're probably in an oppressive environment/relationship, or dealing with repressed identity issues, and you need to get the fuck out of whatever is causing that. You need to find the people who support the best parts of you that YOU know are the best parts of you (not what someone else says you "should" think are the best parts of you), and learn how to value yourself even more than those people do. Get comfortable asking them for blunt feedback on your behavior/performance/perspectives/whatever--and ACCEPTING it. Learn. Grow. A fucking AMAZING future you depends on it :)
Your intelligence penetrates your observation, What's interesting is ur analysis is sooo detailed and yet fluid...
much appreciated
Infp friends one trick to stop judging others is to wish them well when you are interacting with them. I do it with a very critical boss that I needed to communicate with and it worked. I used to beat myself for judging others but it's how my mind works. This videos are awesome.
Zzul Ma
YAS I came to the same conclusion
“If you’re ever in the presence of an infp just know they are always silently judging you” SO TRUE ahh😂
My daughter is an INFP. I used your video to defuse an argument between my wife (ISFJ) and her.
You seem like such a cool dad 😊😊😊
How did it go? Hope it worked.
@@antoinettenovella1630 Nope. Divorced the wife. Daughter lives with me. :)
@@JIMISPIER Well Jimi, shame about the divorce (but then again could have been a win/win and perhaps I should congratulate you on that?;)) but great outcome in that your daughter lives with you. Is that living arrangement an outcome reaped from her voting with her feet in respect to which parent she wished to reside with?
The amount of times I've come back to this video... Thank you Mr. Joseph! I've been listening to your lectures since I was 15/16 years old AND THEY HAVE HELPED ME SO MUCH! This psychology has been a huge and useful part of my life for a long time now, (I'm nearly 19), and I've been blessed in sharing this knowledge with others as well. (I stuff it down their throats.) So thank you more than words can convey, and much blessings in your future endeavors.
I disagree, somewhat, with the INFP always judging you. YES, we do hold everyone up to a mirror of morality/values, but we also incessantly BEAM MERCY toward humanity!!! In addition, we hold ourselves up to the mirror of morality the MOST, and often find our own worth more deficient than others’. If someone is constantly at odds with our values, then yes, we will write them off permanently and have no real respect for them. However, given our tendency toward mediation and diplomacy, that person may never know it. Only when someone crosses a line with a friend or loved one will an INFP speak out in no uncertain terms. ...Who can relate??
Yes I can definitely relate, 100 percent!
So well put.
Becky Phipps
Yep:)
北身
I wish:( I’d love to have the INFJs sense of empathy and myriad of perspectives. I feel a little boxed in to myself as an INFP.
I'm INFP. I can't relate to what you say about mediation and diplomacy. Are you sure those are INFP traits? I am blunt as heck.
As far as writing people off due to their values or lack thereof, yes, that's me perhaps to an extreme.
This was one of the most thorough descriptions of the INFP personality I've watched.
It was incredible!
I just watched it, and wow!
Very interesting! Just one thing. While I've definitely made fashion mistakes in the past, I've also been known to have a good eye for it. I've heard that INFPs are 'aesthetically sensitive,' which is accurate for me and explains all the INFPs I've known who have a gift for styling themselves in subtly unique ways that are also attractive and fashionable. Having said that, I've known a few who could use some pointers in this area, but, in my world at least, they seem to be the exception.
I think most people want others to think highly of them, no? Isn't that respect? I mean... I don't know about you, but I really like being respected. I wouldn't call that insecurity. I would call that motive.
Also no im not silently judging you. Im pretty freaking honest. And i will call you out. Saying we will never admit that is a trap, and fallacy. Telling me how my brain works based on how yours does. Half the time i'm not even paying attention to you. I am paying attention to what I (Fi) am doing. We are very self aware. I think you have met a lot of unhealthy infp's. Im sorry. Maybe look into psychological projection.
Alyson Oltmann please reserve judgment until you review the INFP virtue and Vice vid.
C.S. Joseph no judgment here, that requires seeing in black in white, an unconcious function for me. I was pointing out what is missing, to help you. If my doing so made you feel judged or disrespected, I sincerely apologize.
I wouldn’t say everyone wants people to think highly of them. As an INTP I don’t really care about what most people think of me. If someone thinks lowly of me wrongly or because of something that isn’t true. I’m just like okay your loss
trent DeLozier thats a good mindset to have. I was meaning within the context of this video. You are right, There are situations where yes, caring too much about what others think is dangerous, yet at the same time there are situations where not caring enough is just as detrimental. In terms of respect, which is a value I think a lot of infp's whether they realize it or not is what drives their concientiousness, I don't necessarily think that is a bad trait to have. The trick is to find the middle line, and develop a balanced character. When we operate in extremes, it's not very benificial for us. Compromising our standards or others' too much and we can find ourself in damaging relationships, work environments, situations etc. and/or possibly the cause of it.
Things to know about INFP:
She's so fucking brilliant. She's my favorite person on the planet so far. Ha, I actually really adore her silent judgments. The way she turns slightly and adopts this royal air makes me feel like I'm off on a Herbert spice dream in which I can see her aristocratic lineage unfolding before my eyes. Magical.
Si: I have an intuition that her autoimmune disease is actually a physiological response to being devalued/overly criticized as a child. Her Si memories seem to be manifesting in her body through this disease, which is why it can go into remission through plant technology... I don't fully understand, still working on this.
So far beyond lazy I can't even understand how she gets so much done. It exhausts me listening to all her projects in the outer world.
Ne: We always mutually anticipate each other's needs. It's awesome.
Te: Absolutely swayed by many social sources reiterating the same information and absolutely defensive if only one person is pointing something out. One hundred percent earthy. She's spirit which can't seem to ever merge fully into its body. Yes, the SWJ group think. Misleading propagandistic emotional appeals can mislead her, though I see her growing out of this especially after leaving college.
She's a master violinist, so Ne/Si, I can definitely see that operating in her music. Her music is actually a conduit beyond the conscious aspects of reality. I had a mystical experience listening to her play live, which I've come to understand as a Jungian confrontation with an archetype.
Fe nemesis: Yep. She's terrified that others are bad and not worth saving, and I'm terrified that they're all too stupid to be saved.
Yep, neither of us can produce change directly, we will influence the geist directly, which in turn influences the influencers.
Ni critic: Currently motivating her epic energy and drive toward understanding what it is she really wants. Totally felt the undercurrents of the loyalty/disloyalty polarity, though I wasn't consciously aware of it in the beginning of our friendship. I messed up once and mentioned that I pirate books and scientific papers, but phrased it in such a way that I said, "I steal, I steal a lot of books." This was in the beginning of our friendship and I've tried numerous times to assuage her fears that I steal from people, or that I would steal from her, as I have absolutely no motivation in this arena, but she still doesn't believe it lol. Oops.
Quality time. We get lost for hours, and hours, and hours in metaphysical discussions. The world could literally be on fire and we would have no idea. I approach from Ti/Ne/Si, she approaches from Fi/Ne/Si and we fill out each other's perceptions in these periods in such a way that we are actively helping the other to individuate our Demons, and in the process this hones our phenomenological perceptions of the ontological nature. She's the only person I know that can see my Ti structure occasionally through her Fi structure, and vice versa. She's the Goethe to my Schiller, but we are the next evolution.
That is so sweet.
The Ti demon focused inward results in cutting (for me personally anyway), I would use knives not razor blades like some do, so the scars are not as bad. The feelings would overwhelm you and the physical pain seemed to help alleviate that internal angst, I have not "cut" since I was in my twenties and am now well beyond that, learning more mature ways to deal with this demon.
Oh and shining has one N, :-p not judging though, really more curious how you could make such a simple mistake as you are obviously well educated
I have driven over 40 years and have an innate sense that has helped me avoid many accidents, I have never had even one accident, although the city I live in is rife with poor drivers from other countries.
NatsGhost Brilliant!
Okay, the first time I watched this I tried very hard to be open to eveything he said, but I just didn't see it. There was some truth, but the whole image just seemed very off from the way I see myself and look at the world. However, after watching many of his other videos and coming to understand the psychology behind the analysis I think I can believe it's a lot more accurate. Other INFP's if you're watching this video and see this comment, remember it might not be that he's wrong, it's that the approach and reasoning is a LOT different than what you're used to. I promise if you watch his other videos and keep an open mind, you will see the connections he's making and be able to appreciate them.
That's exactly what I was about to do now, watch his other videos on Infp. Some of his stuff in this video went over my head, and some I was in doubt with. I want to see if there is really any substance behind what he is claiming in this video. For the most part, it was super accurate!
as an INFP, I do judge not just everyone, but everything. But for me individuality is one of the most important things in my life, so I think my morals and values is as important to me as other people's to themselves. So even though I'm highly judgemental, I accept people for who they are and am very open-minded.
Did your INFP ex pop your tires? 😱
no, but she did to someone else.
C.S. Joseph i have done it, they stabbed me behind at work, planned to fire me, and I am not proud I did, but I was so hurt and felt betrayed, I absolutely did nothing to that girl, but being nice, yet she was a rat behind me ,
Was looking for a comment like this. Damn, the dripping contempt.
INFJ and INFP can be the best of friends! My best friend is an INFP and she sure did slash her husbands tire a couple times when they broke up! And she also is criticizing EVERYONE for their morals and she thinks she has high morals. I always have conversations with her about abortion talking ethics and she is like “yeah but I will never do that, that is sooo wrong” or her favorite “I don’t cheat I think it’s so wrong I am always home taking care of the kids” and it’s always about her feelings and her beliefs lol she calls me crazy I love how transparent she is. INFP and INFJ best friends are 2 peas in a pod we honestly had 1 petty argument out of the 14 years of friendship lol
any emotionally abused infp's?
Here. What's up? 😌
Yes.
how u doin
Elizabeth Weeks
Lol yes
Right here, babe
I love this video, CS Joseph appeared as very unbiased and honest about his opinions.
This is high praise
Interesting video, thank you. If I could change one thing you mentioned though, it would be that we are constantly silently judging others because we think they have some bad. I would like to clarify this because the whole reason why infps are so so sensitive about being misunderstood is because we naturally put so much effort into understanding others. I call it collecting information. When I meet someone new my immediate response is just taking them all in without any thoughts at all. I can truly get all in a person's vibe and notice their eyes and tone of voice. This is when an infp probably seems like an air head. We are so involved with people. I love people. If I meet you for the first time, I see beauty, what happens after that and again and again and again, then I may see badness that MAY lead to a final judgement. But it's rare. And actually, this has lead me to be friends with people who take advantage of me because it was so EASY for me to see their good potential. My mother(ENFJ) used to warn me: just because someone has potential does not mean that they will live up to it. Growth and ignorance are both choices we all have, and we can't force someone to choose growth. I have also gained friends who truly hated me the first time they met me. An estp would gossip about me and treat me terrible in public, but I didnt make any judgements yet because she was new and her statements were new and so i had to reflect on all the circumstances and then i asked myself many questions, where did she come? How did she grow up? Did i come on too hard with my Ne? Everytime I saw her I watched her intently to collect more information. Once I felt that I had enough information, i know when i have enough information about a specific conclusion when I have a strong GUT feeling, then i try my best to break down barriers. To create harmony and peace. I know there is no real harmony if inside I feel like I am better than everyone else. If I or anyone, truly feels like they are better than everyone they choose disharmony and ignorance. I cannot be ok with that. I spend most of my time people watching. But I people watch with genuine curiosity and amazement at others. Because for the most part, every person has a gift to share, their unique insight. And I want to treat that gift delicately because it is valuable. If I could pick one profession, it would be a therapist. Oh and the estp who hated me, we are now friends. Because I DID NOT judge her when I first met her 😉
I do agree I can be literal, but what has made me change my viewpoints in life are experiences of others dear to me or myself. I had a terrible childhood and I am no where near that life in my adulthood because of observing patterns in human behavior. I always viewed others as more knowledgeable than me, so I was able to grow by observing others. But I only try to learn from others who are succeeding.
I'm flabbergasted at how accurate this is. Wow.
Haha! Laughed so hard on your take on us INFPs when we feel like being lazy and uncomfortable about doing stuff, because it's so accurate! "..and it's gonna take weeks!" 😂
I am infp and software engineer. And I have never thought about writing my personal philosophy and it's pretty good idea. and from today onwards, I will dedicate some time to write a book.
me the INFP: pops up inside a literature professor's office, no invite, expo marker in hand, already drawing on the white board w/ theories, rambling
the professor: that's interesting
(plottwist: I wasn't even their student)
I was judging you in my mind during the whole video 🤭 cause of course i am infp
I'm an INFP and this was very very accurate! A lot of things made sense to me from this!
Wow, thanks to your video I’ve realized I’ve been mistyping myself as Infj... since I can be crazy hardworking and organized when I get out of the rut... this explains so much :)
undertheivy29 you are most welcome
The dreamland is not little. It’s infinite. And we are not cute. Ok. Maybe a little. And you were spot on. Made me blush from time to time.
pissed me off. wont watch him again.
loko oko Lol. That was quite the emotional reaction.
sorry. sometimes i''m emotionally an ass. grrr.
Haha totally agree.
This is the best breakdown of INFP I've ever heard. Can't wait for more!