I can shed a little light on the "burn the whole relationship down and cut ties forever over one betrayal thing", since I suppose it's hard for non-INTJ types to fathom. I think it is basically a two-fold issue. First is that while many people think INTJ's are emotionless robots, we actually can feel/care VERY deeply about someone or some thing. It's just a very rare and selective process. So when the one, or one of the very very few we let in and trust betray us in some way it is devastating. It's the one person in the world we trust and give our full loyalty to, so a disloyalty that may seem minor to others who have many of these types of relationships is gigantic to us. This causes a large reaction to any betrayal. The second part to it is that I think for many of us, we see people's behavior sort of like we would see a calculator. Most people are like shitty calculators - they are wrong, they don't make sense, the sums do not add up... A person we've come to trust is reliable. You put trust in, and the calculator spits out loyalty. However. Even if a calculator has been working for years, if one day you type in 2+2 and it gives you the answer as 5 - even once - that machine is no longer reliable. If you put in any equation, you can never trust the answer again. Not ever. This is sort of what a betrayal is like - we feel like we can never, ever trust you again. Even if the person is "forgiven", this leads to even more of what you call "loyalty checks". Now we have to continually "check" the calculators answers. We have to do it longhand, do the problem in our head, and check the answer against reality. All answers are now scrutinized for inaccuracy. This will usually spiral into the end of the relationship anyway. I'm rambling, but hopefully you can get something from the analogy.
@@felixthecat2786 A lot of people do like being lied to, so long as the lie makes them feel better than the truth would. Conceptually, I get it, but personally it disgusts me.
I can't make good decisions without accurate information: lies screw up my thinking. I'm also pretty idealistic: lies screw up my ability to trust. I don't want to hear sweet, pleasant things; I want to hear accurate information with no spin. I hate political correctness because it's just polite lying. I hate that so many of our sources of information consist of fearmongering, propaganda, manipulation of the information, and outright lies. I wish that they'd just tell the truth.
perfect example of 24:04 *does around 10 hours of research* *FEELS that I'm an Intj* Ti Critic: "Confirm This" Me: *Is back to doing hours of research*
and you trust those 20 hours of sources? sure there's no new information or contradictory info somewhere that someone else can use against us? I dont win an argument from just one side, I win it on all sides. trust me, I deeply consider all aspects of what my partner is saying to me as long as it makes sense. How they feel, why, keep gathering info. 9/10 its just them being childish or small minded.. why???? bc of course they didnt take a second to see things from my perspective or both. Other types: try not to wonder too hard why the INTJ wont even give you the time of day in an argument. Not because we're super smart and all knowing or even correct in the situation but because our operating system crunches data and approaches things a certain way, as such, either you input the data correctly or the system wont compute. I'm not being an asshole when i say this, I can't help it, I just tune them out or its strange like I hear them but im not listening, Im positive Im not storing any of their data. Not to mention, after a bunch of other peoples opinions you were wrong and they (INTJ) knew it from the start, and you wonder why you couldnt manage to utter a word at them.
The reason why you have the most requests for this type and the INFJ type is because IN-J types love MBTI and typology because they want to make sense of the social world.
I have a crush who is an intj that doesn't really care too much about MBTI. Like, if i were to put about mbti and cognitive function to the topic. She will be like "Oh, that thing" But i dont really know whether she study abt it or not
@@hiraga1403 Im INTJ and I didnt care about MBTI for years and years. until one day I got frustrated that I always got different results each time. That made me start learning deeply about MBTI
I burst out laughing when you explained the judge-jury-executioner pattern of thinking we have because it’s so true. When I smell bullshit/insincerity from people, I just shut myself completely from them and dont want anything to do with them. Not exactly a good thing.
Il do even if I see morol or idiological inconsistencies. Like that's not what you said last time we talked about this topic. Now I know you say what people want to hear. I don't trust you now your gone.
I am an INTJ & I agree with you, and I don't think it is a bad thing. I really get pissed off the minute I figure out they are faking it. Cutting them off is the best policy
Yep, totally true. Recently my mother asked me to go to my grandfather's to fix his TV for him. In reality, I knew she just wanted me to visit him. She knows I know nothing about TVs, and when I told her this she asked me to "just make him think you're fixing it." When I told her that I wasn't going to manipulate him into thinking anything, she freaked the fuck out claiming that I "just didn't want to visit him," which is true, but also, why does that matter if you're goal is to simply find someone to fix his TV, and I couldn't fix it? If she would have came to me and asked me to visit him, I would have done it, but she didn't trust that I would, and so lied to me to get me to go, and also asked me to lie to my grandfather. Losing my fucking mind with her sometimes.
It goes the other way too. This has happened multiple times, but I can remember one time in particular where a person of power who was very slimy and fake started doing their usual BS schtick in front of me, I saw completely through everything, they could tell I saw through them just by the way I looked at them (probably my INTJ death stare, lol), and from that moment on they avoided me and were visibly very uncomfortable any time they were around me. INTJs, especially as we get older and have some life experience, are literally geniuses at detecting BS. I regularly am amazed that large groups of people do not see BS for what it is when it is SO obvious and apparent to me.
Batman is an INFJ, he's very affiliative, and a stereotypical idealist. INTJs are unaware of social Norms(Fe trickster), INFJs feel responsible for social Standard of others (Fe Parent)
~INTJ female here. If we do tell you something from our past, it most likely has a relevance & of extreme importance to whatever is happening in the present, & you should pay attention to the information we've just given you.~
What I don't understand is why people want to be an INTJ so bad. People hate you like really hate you and think you're weird and that something is off about you. On paper you're amazing; in person you're annoying. No one wants to be around someone who can do all the things that they can but better and in half the time. Most of the time INTJ's aren't even trying! That's why we'll die alone. I bet if more personality tests said: "Congratulations, you'll probably die alone and single." a lot fewer people would want to be one.
I TOTALLY AGREE!!! As an INTJ, I'm so hated, especially for that I'm honest to the bone. If I see something is not right, I will tell it, no matter what the cost. It doesn't matter for me if I say it to my mom, boss, etc. If something doesn't work, it needs to be repaired & I don't look at the social links. I also hate my type for overthinking - I just can't see something straight. My mind is full of sh*t & it sometimes pisses me off. The Ni function very often inhibits me, but I got used to it.
Nice post. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. People NEED to feel valuable. Normally this isn't a problem because of division of labor and the fact people have different strengths and weaknesses, so even if Person A is smarter, faster, whatever than Person B, Person B is almost always still good at something that Person A isn't good at. However, with INTJs, especially high IQ INTJs, we tend to be not just good but great at pretty much anything we put effort into, so people around us end up feeling like we're better at everything than them. People do not want to have a relationship with or really anything to do with someone who is better at everything than them, hence the social isolation and alienation so many of us INTJs experience. I have had multiple people now express surprise when they find out they're better at something than me and literally say "this is the only thing I'm better at than you," and something I experience time and time again is people trying almost obsessively to try to prove me wrong even once. Some get so obsessed that they will contradict me on almost everything I say in hopes that it will be the one time I'm wrong. They don't care if they're wrong 29 times out of 30. Just as long as they "win" even just that one argument. It's very annoying.
As an INTJ, I found this painfully accurate. Before I took an MBTI test, quite often my friends would say you know you're a lot like Batman. I would say no, I am not. And lo and behold, Batman is an INTJ. If someone lies to me, that's it, I'm done. I've cut my own parents off for long periods of time because the trust is gone. Sometimes I stare at myself in the mirror and ask myself why am I this way?
When someone apologizes to me I always say "If you're really sorry then you won't do it again." Then, if it happens again, then they weren't actually sorry. Buh-bye!
This doesn't align with typical INTJ behavior. We are humble, and when wronged, we tend to respond with, "It's okay, nobody died," or "Everyone makes mistakes." An INTJ should understand that saying, "If you're really sorry, you won't do it again," sets expectations that can lead to self-fulfilling prophecies for both parties. A good leader believes in his people; otherwise, they won't believe in themselves. We are definitely not cold-hearted enough to make such remarks to anyone. Yes, I have shut my doors to one of my best friends who wronged me badly because he was dealing with NPD (having grown up in a dysfunctional family). And until he realizes his wrongdoings, these doors will remain shut. "He's dead to me, in my mind." And it's better this way. It takes a lot to change our minds, but they eventually do. Those who grew up in dysfunctional families tend to develop either NPD or BPD, or both, depending on personality type and soul level. I believe that Thinking-Judging types are more prone to NPD. It's not a coincidence that he was my best friend; he needed me, but I also needed him, like all other heartbreaks in life. We need these experiences to upgrade our cognitive functions. After enduring many heartbreaks, you become unbreakable. How many of us INTJs have dealt with friends like these or with narcissistic managers at work? They needed us to heal them because eventually, we lashed out. These might sound more like INFJ traits, but I'm autistic. Anyone who says that INTJs and autistic people aren't empaths is totally wrong. Yes, I hate hugs, or being complimented, and I don't like to praise too often, for instance "you're my best friend", F. that!, or do many other things a "real empath" would do, but that doesn't mean that I don't have my own empathetic qualities by being "kind" all of the time, and then all of a sudden, by saying harsh words and challenging Egos. Or qualities like knowing how to read any room, and knowing how to calm spirits, or to think critically, and offering comfort by giving ideas and a positive attitude to those at need.
I'm a female INTJ. I had to laugh out loud when you talked about how an INTJ will shut you out of their life like you don't exist anymore! I did that a lot when I was young! Not that it's that funny in real life. The funny part was that you explained me so perfectly! You found me out! Hahaha! Lots of great insights. Enjoying your channel!
I used to feel guilty about shutting ppl but after finding out I am an INTJ… I can now understand why. No more guilt, I glide through life without ppl knowing how I do it…. well its all in the head. 😂
I feel extremely attracted to INTJs. I love the cool outside and the warm, insecure inside. Their analytical minds somehow call to me. I love their bluntness. And if I ever have an INTJ friend I will feel really special because of their exclusivity. -INFJ
My friends like it until they have a problem and ask me what I think... Then I show them exactly how they crafted the problem themselves. Through their actions and choices. most really dislike seeing themselves in that way.
My INFJ friends say similar things, yet they rarely want to get to know each other more. So much lost potential from a would-be partnership. Lol. It hurts.
Exactly this......whether it is perceived or real betrayal, the hurt is very real and painful. If I assess that the offender is unlikely to change (not that I expect them too) or is incapable of understanding why their behavior hurt me, I cut them off. It saves us both a ton of time and hurt. If there's anything an INTJ hates, it is wasting mental and social energy on a "doomed" (in our eyes) relationship/friendship. Also, if a person's actions don't line up with their words (even over very minor issues), I drop them. I find it to be deeply insulting and manipulative behavior and it makes it impossible for me to trust them (because I can't predict their behavior or depend on them to not shake my world up). --INTJ female
Right, it’s months of observation with that person displaying a recurring behavior that has already been addressed many times. And they act completely surprised when they get cut off. It’s not “on a whim” and it’s final.
@@roblaw7826 Predicting behavior isn't that difficult. Do some research in behavioral science (classical conditioning and operant conditioning). You'll need to have some experiences with a given individual to start building a baseline to work from. Then you'll start to see patterns, and if it's rewarding great; otherwise, punishing interactions will become predictable and you'll know that person is toxic or a waste of time.
My brother is INTJ and my dad is ENTJ. I'm an INTP and my poor mom is an ESFP who was stuck with all these NT males. It's so annoying and funny when my brother or father are trying to guage my intentions when there are none to be found. I often make up intentions just to busy them away from peering into the depths of my eye balls. I try explaining I don't have intentions like... at all but that's inconceivable to them.
It's because we have ALL the intentions. My mother is an INTP and I'm constantly trying to figure out how she's so simple but incredibly intelligent. I know it irritates her, I very nearly don't care.
@@tpzlol (INTP here) My personal belief is that ALL people act solely for the betterment of themselves, Evolutionary speaking; because of our drive/will to survive. The people we "care" about are the people we know/hope to keep around us, because we believe they will affect our personal lives in a positive manner. Now when you have all that settled you can focus on the bigger picture, if you help/care for all of Humanity you ensure better chances of the survival of your genes. This might seem cold and harsh but the truth usually is. Now we get to INTPs. I couldn't care less for money, all the money I need is just enough to keep my comfort zone the way it is and to keep myself alive. I have intentions when someone forces me to have them. The world is a system and the wheels keep turning, and no matter how hard you try not to do anything someone or something will always force you to change. So since I'm forced to change I will aim to change for the best I can, not because its noble or something, but because that is the best way to insure I don't have to change again. So I keep analyzing all the possible futures I see and choose the best one Firstly focused on myself then the ones I "care" about, then all of Humanity. If I have any intentions at all, that are "just because", I guess it would be to stay alive as long as possible (become Immortal). Then again you can just say that is just my Will to Survive. But, that is just me. I can't speak for all INTPs, hope this helps.
@@animetest4881 im intp too and i can sympathise with what you wrote, especially since I read "the selfish gene". Yeah I don't think you stay alive "just because", but because you dislike pain/dont want to miss out on certain experiences and or want to achieve things you haven't achieved yet. I do care for money as having it keeps me comfy, I do not care for spending it though.
I don’t understand. Many places write that INTJ’s are very confident. Here you say that INTJ’s are insecure. As an INTJ myself personally, I am very self critical in everything, making me pretty insecure (I’d go as far as saying that sometimes I hate myself and get depression when I can’t succeed no matter how hard I try), on the other hand I’m confident in the way that I’m the opposite of someone you would call spineless, because I respect myself. But it could be just me.
That's not just you. I'm not just insecure but anxious about almost everything, but then suddenly I switch and I'm super confident especially when I know I've masterd a skill/am right etc.
We are always outwardly confident, while questioning internally all the time and spending many hours being prepared to be confident. So other personalities will always see us as confident and they are the ones writing articles or posting videos. I'd love to have a conversation with you on not succeeding no matter how hard you try. You have to harness your power, which is immense, and put it in a way people not like us will receive favorably.
INTJ, the "Spectator" They'll watch, react in the way they feel is expected of them (i.e. laughing at jokes, frowning at bad news, etc...), gather data, file it, reference it at the end of the show, decide if it was enjoyable, and deliver the verdict either with roses or rotten vegetables.
Yes, that's harsh. I'm an INTJ. I've always been told I'm to serious. I think they just don't want to take any chances lol! To me that's how I felt in the pass. If I do, I would have to watch, not to let that happen again since people don't change overnight. That's why it's easier to cut of the lign completely but, I don't want to be alone by keep on cuting of lol! so I deal with people using another strategy.
I started running through the amount of times I have done this its quite scary the way we / I can just Detach without emotion or feeling once someone shits on me thats its done gone bye Lol
I used to get asked a lot about why I was so angry. I wasn't angry, just focused on either my work or my thoughts. Pretty often, I'm lost in thought about one theoretical question or another. I love it, but I guess I look pissed off when I'm doing it. *shrug*
ESFJ mother of an INTJ son here. I mis-typed him. He did hours of research and wrote me an essay on why he is an INTJ 😂 yup dead on! Able to see the worry even from toddler age! Only kid I ever knew that would only babble alone in him crib (never around people) before talking. He could walk at 9 months, but wouldn’t let go until he was 1. Taught himself to read (alone in his room after showing him how to break down Dr. Seuss) at the age of 3.5. Also decided one day to teach himself to count backwards from 100 at 3- of course alone where no one could see him mess up ha! He is BRILLIANT and caring and so funny! Now he is almost 21 and military intelligence. That was the best thing that could have happened to him. Pushed him WAY out of his comfort zone and let him grow so much! My ESTP husband and I couldn’t be more proud of our INTJ. Definitely different than anyone I’ve ever known. This video cracked me up because I’ve never known anyone else like our son🥰 Apparently there are others hahaha!!!
As an INTJ when you were explaining the Ne Nemesis it's just so accurate, but I wasn't totally aware of this until I had a fight with my best friend one time and she told me how tired it is to maintain a relationship with me, she told me how careful she had been over the years with me and said that "Once I made a mistake, I know I am immediately trash to you".
18:00 it's not that intjs don't trust other people, it's that they don't trust themselves to judge whether other people are honest or not we're loyal or not.
@winggoddess I think sometimes its an inexplainable judgement though. As in to put it in words isn't easy. More like a flash of insight to me. But I do make quick assessments.
For me, it's not that I change my opinion of someone on a whim. I watch the other persons actions and listen to their words very carefully and notice the patterns. So if my opinion changes, it may have seem like it was on a whim, but it was very deliberate and was already in motion before the other person seen it coming. More likely than not, the INTJ told you about what you were doing that they found unacceptable and the other person wasn't taking it serious until the INTJ actually reacted, at which point it's too late.
I love the way you put it! They just didn't see it coming, so they think it's to quick and strong. But, never was. I can see through some people even before they do something. Sometimes I don't even make a serious relationship because what I see is crystal clear, it make me very sad already because I don't want to have to deal with that. One thing I do now is a smooth and quiet disconnection if possible. As an INTJ, my inner info are always accurate so I move alone with them. That's why some people feel it's to harsh! They don't know they've been evaluated before that happens so they think it's sudden. My INTJ friends please find a friendly way to send the message so they know we still love them.
As an INTJ I found saying something like "you already know what you have done" to someone who's asking me what they did wrong most unnatural. It is true that I can cut people off completely, and when I do I don't feel the need to explain my reasons to them... But if I am asked on the topic, I am very upfront about it and immediately explain what, when and why. Answers like "you know already" are a perfect example of those fishy, passive-aggressive behaviors I hate with all my heart and soul. Is the other supposed to guess the reasons behind my behaviors, just as people constantly think I should guess theirs? I don't think so, I will tell them clearly, when asked. It is also true, on the other hand, that most people won't explicitly ask for the reasons of my behavior, so I won't explain.
It means you have developed your character. An undeveloped INTJ might do that. I am also an INTJ in a country with less than 1% population are INTJs. I learn to appreciate people's different personalities has different flaws and virtues that made up a complete, distinguishable society. Which also means I understand people make mistakes and so do I.
Yeah, I thought the same thing. That reaction seems much more like a "feeler" response. I have no problem enumerating all the specific ways in which someone has failed me.
I'm an INTP - in 'love' (sic) with an INTJ female - and know this so well from the receiving end... I'm also an IT professional and know this 'phenomenon' from an occupational vantage point. It''s commonly referred to as "illusion of knowledge" whereby someone who 'knows' something - readily assumes that everyone else should know it too. INTJs are especially eaten up with this as they simply think that fast... Mind you - they are not always correct... but they have already derived a conclusion (they are finishers) from a sequence of 'information' and rush to be the first on the buzzer for "got it", which they perceive as making them "right"... which frequently - they aren't. Sorry INTJs - but being the first one with an answer doesn't guarantee its veracity - and everyone is not out to get you for some reason or another. Some people (like me) simply find you that intriguing; special - and like to be around you, despite the scrutiny to which you subject our 'shortcomings' and 'imperfections'. You're built for speed, and like to put things in the rear view... don't view your support team as a liability.
I say stupid things in the bathroom sometimes, trying to keep it humorous with my self-aware Trickster Fe (some tell me I have the ol' Aspergers, and my mother thinks it's funny, so it's basically encouraged). That being said, I try to keep it to school and the workplace, where people already sort of know me as the whacky Goth Swinger with pseudo-dementia, or where I'm actively trying to establish myself as the whacky Goth Swinger with pseudo-dementia. Good times.
As an INTJ I cannot relate at all to statements like “all the INTJs I know” or “I was talking to an INTJ friend the other day”... like how do you know so many people let alone know their mbti? Cannot relate.
Lol the man is in his 30s bruh. If anyone don't know a lot of people by their 30s then they should be questioning their social networking capabilities... Also the man dedicated his life to this science, has Ti parent, and has a type grid tht can literally verify ANYONES TYPE in a matter of 15 min talking with a person for christ's sake. Get over yourself b.
Cuz they don't know shit. Plus an INTJ being so rare, they probably don't even fucking know one. People make shit up, until they find a real INTJ one day like a fucking shiny Pokemon, then everyone's left wondering if they ever knew shit in the first place (hopefully).
@@GVOESPEE He doesn't have Ti fucking shit. He has Fi because he's an INFP or ENFP. I guess he is pretty social and manipulative, that would be a feeler trait, so I would believe you that he gets to know a lot of people. But Ti people aren't that way.
I know, I’m here all like “I can’t even make my husband take the test or anyone in my family for that matter and all these people know everyone’s type, how!? How?! - In case you are wondering I’m an INTJ woman #🦄 lol
As an INTJ I value integrity and honesty in others above all else, which is why I connect well with INFJs and they are my favourite people as the ones I know appear to exude honesty and tell it like it is.
My best friend since high school is an ENTJ. We could always have deep and honest discussions about things, we like the same music, sports and scientific/philosophical topics and together we drive people crazy with our logical analysis of everything that happens around us xD Our Introvert/Extrovert differences actually helped us both a lot in balancing out our weaknesses over the years. He helped me not become a complete caveman, while i helped him to not overexert himself by always being up and about.
@@elishalarsen That is wonderful for you! Although I am(INTJ)curious how this relationship works? I have this friend who is an INFP but I feel like we are always clashing. I am trying to make it work though,as I am always with her for 6hrs everyday. She is very vocal for having an introverted personality. Expressing herself as if she were a fictional character and often very overwhelming(very clingy)or a total hermit some days.
It's hard not to. I think I know the best way to do things. But so what? It doesn't really matter. I might want to take over, but I hope that I won't. I don't always notice it.
Well. It's the life time challenge. Because we DO need to manage people to get our way. But we don't want to make people uncomfortable because we care about them. And we NEED to change them! Considerately :p Trick is to find the ultimate way to do it. Just become extremely good at appearing silly while secretly manipulating them with our humour and they will think you are funny but in actuality you are micromanaging them! Muahahaha!
I will unironically be your new INTJ friend. I never knew I had social anxiety until I watched your videos. Now it’s so obvious to me. I am going to start managing it now thanks to you.
I'm an INFP who dated an INTJ for nearly 5 years and I found this incredibly enlightening. Any disagreement would always instantly turn nasty; him digressing to a season of defining fights early on in the relationship. Like you suggest I would time and again explain myself, tell him how comfortable I was with him and even remind him of my proven track record of loyalty. However now I see I was in his bad past memory box and that is why it never worked out. Thank you for what you're doing! You are definitely helping make the world a better place!
I am an INTJ female and you are quite right (the good and bad). I have to clarify something about social norms: it's not that we don't know about them, we just don't necessarily think we should have to conform to them. Thank you!
One thing I didn't really hear mentioned unless I missed it, is that INTJ's need purpose and to always be working at a goal. And without it, we can go into very self destructive behaviors like alcohol addiction, depression, etc. Its like taking a German shepard and locking it in a room without a job to do. I appreciate your humor (we can take a joke) unlike alot of the other channels that simply just blow smoke up our asses. Sure we make great movie vilans, but it's alot more difficult to be an intj than people realize, we just are good at hiding it because like you mentioned, reputation is everything for us. 48 laws of power is a must read for any INTJ imo, it changed my life especially with my company. And yes we might not be the smoothest guy at the bar, but we are monsters in the sack haha this was the first time I've seen a channel that touched on this. We look at anything in life as a task or problem that must be solved, and that includes pleasuring our women haha!
To you it may look like they are overthinking but if your friend is a true INTJ trust me it isn't as complicated to them as it is for you. INTJs must have a direct path to a goal before we start and if that path isn't clearly realized then it's gonna seem as though we can't finish a goal when in reality we're just trying to sort out any new information that has disrupted our original pathway,. before we continue again we must refocus and set a new path once more to continue to achieve that goal.
I had this problem as a young professional. With good mentoring and focus on self improvement I overcame this. I was a poor delegator and a perfectionist. I now delegate as much as possible and I strive for perfection but will not let trying to be perfect get in the way of good enough. I couldn’t do what I do if I didn’t.
It can happen when you are younger, especially if a project is borring and we are almost finish. the part you see as us complicating is probably the part where we are trying to optimize the system
I dont think so. I am INTJ and I always finish what I start. The problem is, it is hard for us to start something. We plan everything to the T before executing. But once we do, it will always come to fruition.
INTJ here. Always finish what I started. Though I understand why you would think we don't finish anything we've started. We never forget what needs to be done (it's sitting at the back of our heads) and it's true that we overthink a lot (gauging the circumstances, planning to do it etc. esp. if we're uncerstain of the thing that we're doing is worth it or not, or wether it's the right thing to do in my life. But this doesn't mean we aren't finishing it and quitting mid-way, sometimes as we do it, it takes a form of something else). That's why (in my case) it takes time to actually do things I planned to do and the outside world does point out to me the fact that I haven't finished or started the things I would. For example, it took me 5 whole years to take a jlpt exam. And 2, 3 years to take a dance class or 10, 11 years to begin to learn french (it'll take another few years for me to actually start learning french because it isn't a priority and I have made plans about when I'll learn it). Idk about other INTJs but for me quitting isn't even in my glossary and I always finish what I started in a way it makes sense to me (I may go hiatus mid-way). I think I couldn't explain it well but oh well.
Lmao that's still me with my mom, I get too caught up in the conversation with her that I don't realize she literally entered the bathroom and I'm following her.. 💀 I'm 20 😂
I loved this video - it's unique in that it points out flaws that INTJ often have; something that most other MBTI videos gloss over. The trust/loyalty issue is something that I have to often tackle myself. I'd love to see some videos on strategies that MBTI types should take on improving themselves in light of their shortcomings. Keep up the good work!
Caine's Wrath, the trust issues! I like to give an impression of trust (with fingers crossed behind my back) such that I can get somewhere, but I never give out enough rope for them to hang me with. If I seem to trust someone, most likely I'm constantly looking for weak points so I can't be screwed over. I don't even look people in the eyes... they seem to take it rather personally. This sort of makes it hard to discern if my celibacy is voluntary or not. Am I doing this to myself? Whatever the case is, wanting someone desperately who can appreciate what I appreciate while not even allowing myself to trust them enough to be in any real relationship makes for a hell of a case of loneliness. Traitors deserve every drop of pain and coldness they incur.
Awkward enough accidentally going to the bathroom same time as someone else without starting a conversation. Unless it's a family member or something, no risk of awkward there.
Just having a hard time with that example, gray area between socially unaware vs. wanting others to feel comfortable. But I assume you must be speaking from experience.
That example seems to be extreme. Short of being raised by wolves, it would be hard to believe one would grow up not realizing that was wrong. I totally miss social norms all the time, but it is more like, someone invites you to stay for dinner but really do not mean it. In reality they were just being polite but I take it literal.
talking to someone while they're taking a shit is pretty high level social unawareness but the other 99% was spot on. i couldn't stop laughing when you were giving INTJs shit, it was too true to be mad. I'm pretty good on the dance floor in the right circumstances too
Random observation: INTJ, with ESFP subconscious. I'd say most people try to integrate with their subconscious and make it conscious while developing themselves. My INTJ sister started dedicating her time and life to art when she got into her 20's. I would say it's related to the fact that our subconscious drives us in our life. As C.G. Jung said - 'Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.' it's very interesting to see.
I'm INTP and my best friend is INTJ. For the most part we are similar, but there's a difference in the fact that if someone treats me badly, I don't confront them and just try to avoid them. However if someone treats her badly, she will 100% confront them and effectively make them own up and apologise. I think, to generalise, that INTJs love to implement their ideas and thoughts, whilst us INTPs are perfectly happy keeping our ideas in our heads. Also, my friend loves the vid :)
Hm. Maybe this also differs wrt personal history, how you were raised etc. I think INTJ's might be afraid of conflict as well - and they might not always build up courage to implement their ideas...
@@aniokay Well, judging types are usually considered to be very much focused on implementing their vision and ideas compared with Perceptive types who are ok with having ideas not being actualized in reality and ok with just exploring in their mind various possibilities.
Hannah, I could have written this. EXACTLY THE SAME!!! The only difference is that we're men. I (INTP) gotta say that I'm trying to learn that from him (INTJ) but I'm not as quick in my responses.
I have learned through many hours of research and self thought that I'm pretty much a 50 - 50 mix of INTP and INTJ. This is spot on. Sometimes I just let the person I have a problem with have it all spelt out to them, but sometimes I don't care enough to talk at all.
INTJ Female. Nerd. Dancer. Ms Morals. Research and reference fanatic. Strategists and studying psychology. “Annoyingly vague”, apparently. Big value on trust and loyalty. Important to give credit where credit is due. Thanks for your content, it is interesting hearing my personality precisely explained.
After that Ne tangent... I feel slightly attacked. It took a lot to get through all the words to finally arrive to 'you're paranoid'...lots of bad INTJ interactions in that way? That being said, I'm not that wild but intentions are extremely important to me. Fairly accurate. Love it.
So true. Make fun of how I sound, dress, or look; and I will not enjoy being around you as much as I did before because if you find me so unpleasant, why would you want to be around me in the first place? I'll spare you the displeasure and just remove myself from your presence. And yes, I am loyal to a fault to the people I care about (which are few). If a person I'm loyal to is not loyal to me, it will wound me deeply. Loyalty, to me, is one of the highest forms of love. And yes, if I consider you toxic to my life, I will cut you off for all "eternity" so fast it will make your head spin (which is not my intention btw; your reaction is irrelevant to me at that point. I'm not trying to hurt you either; I just want to be free from your toxicity so it won't harm me).
explains why I hated so much when I was asked to write an essay about "the most touching/excited/etc. experience in your life" in writing classes back to school days. I don't want to write about it, and let the teacher (or even worse other classmates) to read it at all. I love my Si demon! lol
I didn't know where else to put this, Hi! INTJ here, I've been going through all of your content and I can't tell you how much it has helped me learn a lot more about myself and the people I interact with. Thank you for putting this out there and making me feel a little less crazy.
i am an INTJ and I am only here because its a way to escape reality, and have people talk about me, bc I am lonely deep inside, its so immature and stupid, the undeveloped INTJ are arrogant and have a front up that they think is so powerful and cool but they are delusional.
I have recently successfully typed my wife as an INTJ and I watch this video agreeing with you on everything. As an ENTP, I can say that it is a very deep relationship but can also be very explosive if we aren’t careful in our communications. I like to refer to our relationship as a polarizing one because it’s literally like two magnets connecting to each other in my mind! I would do anything for her and she would do anything for me...it’s GREAT!
Why do you assume it's a judgement and not an objective fact. Isn't that a judgement in its own right? You judge INTJs to be judgemental, when we could very well be thinking in an open minded and forgiving manner towards those who have hurt us. Perhaps it was the other person who jumped to conclusions and assumed we were judging them. (when we had nothing, but good intentions in our hearts.)
Im an INTJ-A, but only got to know abt it when i started to work on a BPO industrt. Based on what you mentioned abt us - the paranoia of betrayal. It's the other way arnd for me. During my young adult years, i am very idealistic & trusting to ppl. Until a certain point (mid-30s) that im done. Enough of all the betrayals & taking advantage of my kindness. That's when i totally snapped & blasted (not just burned) bridges. So yeah, i reclused from ppl (making me an anti-social). I guess, my Se took over my Ni. And i tell you, it's a totally wrecking experience. Now im training all my cognitive functions to avoid me going insane. 😁 thanks for this vid.
This guy literally just opened me up and read me like a book. That felt so uncomfortable yikes. I paused every single time he starts attacking Se just to brush off the chills so that I could continue. P.S For some reason, because you kept touching on Se and Ne I started to not like you and then I realize this is exactly what he was talking about.
My best advice for fellow INTJs: don't speculate or allow others to speculate on what's inside people's heads (they're usually wrong about us and we're usually wrong about them), give people the benefit of the doubt (this is just a good rule for life but esp for us INTJs), try very hard to be open-minded and see other points of view, even if you don't understand them, (there's a degree to which this is natural for us but it has to be very difficultly and very purposefully honed, esp in the realm of emotions which we suck at), and above all, just let stuff go (it's not easy but it's very important; there's simply too much that will bother you and keep you up all night, you need some peace of mind). As for everything else, it's probably more good than bad and just has to be channeled correctly, but I definitely think that addressing those key issues will make your life so much better!
I JUST got done telling my husband to stop translating things to me- oh he meant you're way in over your head etc. I told him it's a blessing I don't know what others are thinking because I'd worry myself to death.
Yeah im an intj i had a freind a while back tell me that i "i wear my heart on my sleeve" and i was drunk enough to honestly answer "im either just showing you what i judge to be an appropriate response so i fit in in public or im letting you get a peak behind the curtain of my mind in private. But at no point are you seeing a 100% face value me without a mask cuz if i did you'd run screaming. He was too drunk to remember the next day thank god
When I was younger I would tell people that everyone gets one chance. Best friends get two. It would be foolish for someone to to betray me (said my superego), but if someone betrays me and despite all my better judgement and past experience I give them that second chance and they betray me AGAIN..? Well, then I'm the one that looks like a fool, and that is much more painful. The way I learned to handle this is to trust people to be untrustworthy. I have had close friends that I managed to keep (I say "keep".. I mean for about several months, that's long-term for me) because after the first time they let me down in some way I could say, 'Alright, at least they've let me know that they are, in fact, fallible and in what way. Is it worth me continuing this relationship with that understanding?'. Each time they let me down, I repeat this assessment. If it turns out it's no longer worth it, I can cut ties without feeling foolish because it's like 'Well, I knew you were not to be trusted anyway.' So it may seem like it's over 'one betrayal' or 'one little thing', but it can be cumulative over time. It's just that I don't talk about any of those issues until I'm at my limit. It is sad though, when you have that one person you feel connected to and one day they do something that makes you suddenly realise, 'Oh no. There it is. This is the thing that's going to break us.' and you know it won't ever be the same again after that. I can name every 'one true friend' I've had, all the way back to when I was 5.
Thank you for creating this video. You really broke down the "INTJ Door Slam" process in a way that I have not encountered before, despite my dozens of hours of research into this subject. It's useful because I believe with practice I can impose standards of analysis upon myself to check destructive behaviors before a final judgement is made. At least that is my theory and hope.
Patterns are important to me, especially to help me navigate social situations I constantly observe how people behave in social situations to help me know what to expect and know how to behave myself (in an attempt to make it less awkward). As an INTJ, I base many of my decisions on patterns...including who I trust or when I trust them. I might notice that a specific individual has a pattern of behavior leading me to trust them less or to not trust them in certain situations (I trust my husband with my heart & soul, but not to remember to pick up milk on the way home). OR... sometimes it's a pattern of many different people who act similarly in a specific situation. The INTJ friend who hurt you may have recognized your behavior fitting a pattern that others engaged in, which caused him to react negatively because he was anticipating a bad outcome based on previous observations of a similar situation. When you give him the chance to reconsider, he may recognize that YOUR patterns of behavior would be different from others.
Fantastic breakdown. I don't do the constant loyalty checks anymore because, in my early 30s, I realized how off putting it was to others and saw how I alienated everyone. The fact that so many of my friends put up with me and stayed loyal is astounding, but I'm grateful and went out of my way to apologize to everyone once I had that epiphany. Everything else is pretty much an exact description of me.
I'm nearing in my 30s, and at this state of life, I do find loyalty checks kind of exhausting in terms of how it screws up my relationships because I have to fix them whenever it happens. It's ineffective in the long run. I've embraced the value of letting offenses go and starting things over, like freely erasing a row of sticks on a chalkboard; basically, keep on extending the wingspan of my patience with others, so I won't become aliented.
Yeah. that is certainly his [pattern. These videos are weirdly emotional and appear to be conflating this dude's personal experiences with cog fx. He's also emotionalising everything. And also generalising from his specific experiences and his interpretation of those exp out to a pattern for everyone of that type. I am witnessing terrible Ti; what a pain.
@@brucewayne2184 nah. An infp has a firm handle on what their feelings are. This feels like tertiary f and a lack of well rounded usage of the t fx. An assumption that ones feelings are facts. I am an entp myself and I know plenty of others and infps. Experience suggests that if an infp has lower health and well roundedness, then the problem will be unused Ne or overusing inferior Te in particular ways, etc. Whatever the type here is, the point is that there is an imbalance in it.
In all of my time looking into personality traits to try to understand myself, nothing has clicked with me more than this video. Seeing an outsider's perspective was genuinely eye-opening and I'm glad I've come across this.
Great presentation. Great insight. You really outlined for my awareness how Si demon can work, it gives me something to brood about. I never realized that Ne was the bad boy causing much of my issues. I'd always just blamed Se and/or Fe in their respective roles. Turns out that a lot of my Fe presumed problems are both non-existent reality-wise, and actually an underdeveloped Fi screaming out for recognition. This video helped me to figure stuff out and so I can plan ahead more clearly and with more mastery. Thank you. :)
Chase, this video is brilliant. I am an ESFJ and had my best friend from h.s. and another guy that I totally, romantically fell for - both INTJ's. I managed to inadvertently trip the Si demon tripwire. And off to oblivion I went into ISFP unconscious having been immediately deemed dead! It took me years to understand and comprehend it. I never really got over it. Had I only seen this video back then. I've done a lot of MBTI stuff in the past years, but NO ONE has moved psycho-babble down the abstraction ladder to the ground like you do. It's a rare gift that you have, for which I as a Sensor have unbounded respect. I don't know that I will ever 'get' INTJ's because of how totally different they are from me. But I am able to understand them (and myself) better now in a way that this video finally crystallized for me. And for that, I am grateful that I found your channel! I hope you see that as sincere. (I did see your ESFJ video and no, I am not like your "mother-in-law from hell" type of ESFJ.) Big thanks and cheers!!!
I’m so glad I rewatched this yesterday because I just encountered a scenario where I felt this huge betrayal from people about this work I produced because I didn’t get the recognition I thought I deserved for completing it because “I did the right thing and no one even cared and all this hard work I put in to make this as seamless of an experience as possible literally went out the door and I feel hurt and betrayed, and like I’m not worth anything to the team. Not recognized for the WEEKS of effort I put into this” thing. And I took it SUPER PERSONAL and got really upset. And then I took a step back and realized this went down this way because of other people involved in the work pulling in their politics into the mix for power over something. And it really is external to me. I wouldn’t have been able to quickly overcome this without this video explaining the tendencies. Rewatching this really helps in understanding behaviors and the way we interact with the world and where our faults are unconsciously to us. I wanted to share how much your videos help us grow to be more self aware, become better versions of ourselves as reach self actualization. I know they have help me tremendously. Thank you for being awesome!!!
INTJ do have delicate feeling as seeing it as an ENFJ find it really adorable. As an INTJ Friend, totally understand the feeling of being rapidly testing the trust level. As a prospective of a friendly of them just feel sooooooo tired. And the part of sudden cut off really do happen and I have no clue at all and they really expect you to know. Thank you for the amazing video!! 💖
Bravo, very spot-on for me...I can build a house, fix a car, explain laws, and have an MBA. Nicely done on your part specifically because you didn’t make me feel like you were attacking me..
This is so accurate. I recently made a huge drama after a group project at uni. I had been talking to the teacher, which I do not like, because all of the others (ISFJ) where to shy to ask. I had been asking all these stupid questions we had to know the answers for, I was taking a bullet for the team risking I might seem stupid when all of us actually was a mess, and afterwards they laughed at how I had stuttered at some words instead of giving credit for actually do the shit job. I actually think that our friendship is ruined now and I have no problem with it.
Absolutely brilliant video, I've found most others very high level without any depth whatsoever. I recently discovered MBTI and typed as an INTJ so I thoroughly enjoyed learning about my type from someone who has gone more than skin deep into the subject. Keep the videos coming :-)
I'm impressed by how much you are smart and lucky for being able to read people's minds and personalities like this on a very deep level! I'm an INTJ female and I'm 18 and I'm not sure if my personality could change in the future (because i still young) but i think that's unlikely to happen cause it's way deeper... Thank you so much for this video it was very educational. And i hope that you make more videos about every personality and how it behave in differents areas of life. ❤️
I am anINTJ, so i suppose you can say I understand a little bit of what goes on in the mind of an INTJ (of course, everyone is different, and everyone's thoughts are different, but you know what I mean). INTJ's are not emotionless. We are not cold or inhuman. We actually feel emotions very deeply, but we struggle with expressing them. Sometimes an INTJ may even see it as a weakness. We are openminded, so if you come to us with an opinion we won't shoot you down and call you an idiot. In fact, we might even ask more questions about it to earn more knowledge about other people's views on a certain subject. But if it's stupid you'll be cut off immediately. A lot of us are not power hungry, but knowledge hungry, and sometimes that can translate to wanting power in the eyes of others. We love to plan and schedule things, but if you have a problem with it, we are open to changing it, as long as we agree.
Thanks for this! The part about making sure others have a good experience is right on it. My man is an INTJ and I notice him always checking on me and how he goes the extra mile arranging things so others have the best possible experience.
Ah ha! I really gotta say thank you for putting all these videos out there. It took so long to realize the kind of childhood trauma I had and why I was acting the way I was, and why I was so confused and scared of everything. I think I finally get how to just "be" now, and it's so relieving, there's such a massive weight off my shoulders and I don't feel like I have to hold up the world anymore. It's possible to just relax, do my own thing, be nice to other people who are also just out there doing their own thing, and maybe try to convince people how they can refine their thinking and be more open to others if I feel like it's worth it and something I know enough to do. I think without your videos, it would have taken me way longer to really understand what this really means.
I have a younger sister who I suspect is an INTJ, but time will confirm that. Very skilled in whatever she takes the time to learn, her most distinct skill being drawing, where she literally will save up hundreds of references in how to draw specific types of objects. Definitely has the distinct Inferior Se described in this video.
I'm an intj and I think that while we aren't good enough with the whole socializing thing, we can manipulate people quite easily since we understand quickly the other's character and how he/she is going to perceive and react with everything we say. Or it might be a personal thing . I don't know
My partner is an INTJ. This is him to a T, especially the virtue and vice video! I’m an ENTP and we work really well! I’m making him watch this but when I first suggested it, I received his typical sceptical eyebrow waggle, but eventually convinced him 😅
This is freakishly accurate. I cannot stand being micromanaged but I will gladly micromanage others to ensure things are done correctly. I also can’t help but improve on methods even at the risk of offending others. The worst thing is when people do something without understanding why they are doing it. And nothing irritates me more than someone who is incompetent and no one does anything about it. I hate being diplomatic to avoid hurting someone’s feelings when they are just plain wrong. At the same time I’m super paranoid and self conscious and analyse social interactions over and over in my mind. While I often feel that I am more capable than others, I desperately want them to like me and have a positive experience around me. It’s exhausting being an INTJ!
INTJ female here... i threw my head up and deep-belly laughed when you spoke about sex and the insecurity/social anxiety we struggle with LUCKILY I'm married to an ENFP (shocker!) And he totally does the pacification and reassurance to smooth the way for amazing bedroom times! Geez, this video is fantastic
I'm an INTJ. When I first stumbled on this video I didn't know what you were talking about. So, I skimmed through your content in a few hours and came back and now I know what you're saying... ...Then I got to the part where you said we learn fast...
We’re taken both too seriously and not seriously enough all at once way too often. And we stay quiet too often just cause we don’t know how to find the “proper” way to share what’s on our minds. Or quite frankly we simply just don’t care. But we should. The way this world is headed, we ought to be ourselves, fully. We’re the ones who can really make a difference, fast. Hope my fellow INTJS understand or try to.
I’m not done with someone when they make a mistake...it’s all about intention. If I have put my trust in someone, it’s because I’ve studied their behavior, morals, and intent...if they start acting out of the ordinary, I will assess the situation. Why are they acting this way? Is their something in their life that has caused this change in behavior? Is it malicious or is it a mistake? Even if I find that I can no longer trust a person, I realize that this trust may be within a specific area only, so I will adjust to close that specific door for a while until I see a change. I usually won’t completely shut out a person whom I trust based on one mistake...but I will let them know I am aware. It’s completely different with your confidant then it is with randoms. With randoms, I’ll get an intuitive feeling about them, and then look for evidence to support or disprove this intuition. We don’t jump to conclusions, everything has a reason. Perhaps you’re dealing with a very under-developed INTJ, which makes sense. I completely understand that humans make mistakes...but repetitive behavior does not lie. I will take the time to explain myself to any person who wants to know the reason for my distance, but if they choose not to do anything to reflect on or modify their behavior, I will not be sharing my feelings or inner thoughts with them. I will be cordial, fair and provide them with the most basic of human respect...but I will not put myself out there. Do you realize how much time and energy it would take to explain our inner and bloody accurate assessments? That’s why it’s easier to just let people think we’re paranoid or standoffish...I could care less. I really care about ppl, but if those ppl are not at a point in their lives where they care about themselves, I will retreat and let them live and learn on their on.
Ugh, look at all these grammatical errors...yes, it’s just a simple YT comment, but Jesus...take an extra 4 seconds and do a quick re-read and edit. I’m disappointed in you Amanda.
Yes! As an INTJ, I agree with everything you just said! (including the self-talk about checking for grammatical errors--although I have no problem with any errors on your part...just when I make them)
Heather Peterson yes, sometimes I really envy ppl who write things as if they’re typing with one finger and eating pizza w the other 4...and they couldn’t care less...
Heather Peterson actually...after doing a bit more reading, perhaps this negative self talk is due to critical parent Ti...I’m really interested in getting to understand my shadow functions better, when I use them and why. Chase goes into it a bit here but I wish he would do a more in depth series on each type’s shadow functions.
I agree, and I think the jumping into conclusions before testing part is specific of young INTJs. I am working to overcome this (I am 17) and I'm certain I will be able to do so because of our strong willpower. In the meanwhile, though, I make sure that my distrust of people does not make me shut doors so easily
Hmmm... INTJ-A here. This explains my “Blacklisting” behavior amazingly well. Frankly, I perceive people who cannot control their emotions or what they say as untrustworthy and potentially dangerous. No sense in trusting someone who is incapable of being able to honor my trust. On the other hand it has taken me a lifetime to understand that (most) people don’t fully understand what they think and feel, and can’t adequately verbalize either. I’ve slowly gained more compassion and become more forgiving. Relationships are still a challenge!
Me as an INTJ, socializing isn't that hard when you've put on a goal to reach after and when I've strategically planned to achieve it. But if the circle was a forced interaction, it'll be hard to adjust. I don't really like how the world works and that makes me detached myself from people who are puppets of society. I always have thoughts about much effective ways on how to do stuffs tho and it's really irritating to see messed up flows. Lol idk after watching this I think I've seen my blind spots haha thank you!
So True! When I plan things ahead of time I'm more comfortable. But I learn to pick my own battles. It decrease a lot of stress. I know I can't change people, and I can't wait for them to change, so I learn to be more tolerant. But if I get burn out, I give them a distance then I catch up with when I'm ready.
I don't have trouble with socializing. If it's with good company and meaningful conversation. I hate small talk or gossip and find it very draining. I used to be a waitress and I saw social interactions like my work conversations with customers as formulaic.
I am an INTJ-T, and let me tell you, you are A.M.A.Z.I.N.G !!! Your descriptions are so on point. Your judge-jury-executioner line made me laugh my head off. I often hear myself say in my head: "You may see me smile at you, but I may have brutally killed you many times in my mind". The loyalty part is also very true, because we are just generally pessimistic. For me, I dislike disloyalty because I have been bullied mercilessly my entire life, and it becomes quite natural to think like that. I can also confirm that I have a great sense of style and I am a pretty ok dancer too. Furthermore, my best friends are INFJ and INTP. I literally call them my brothers, because we understand each other so well. INFJ is the epitome of loyalty, which I adore. INTP is like a super nerdy alter-ego for me, so he lets my inner nerd shine.
This video is hilariously accurate I honestly cannot stop laughing since my dad is an INTJ and he literally checks the mark with the logical facts to the tee. As far as the INTJ door slam he has done that to two people in the past few years (one of those people was actually a family member who was trying to steal money from his business that he used to operate for a few years) so he’s die hard serious when it comes to loyalty checks. And as for the paranoia I never realized how pranoidn he is with regards to others intentions (he even locks the door in his own bedroom when he wants to sleep by himself at night it’s so odd it’s like he’s preparing for a hidden ninja assassin in the house😂). That being said he is also an amazing person and I love him and all INTJs out there. They really are great people to be around if people give them the chance.
I LOVE YOU! LOL, Okay, I'm a 50-year old lesbian INTJ so I don't actually love you, but this is an AMAZING video and I APPRECIATE you so much! It's the best one I've ever seen on INTJs. I actually learned something about myself (the whole paranoid thing is so true but I never really articulated it to myself until now). Thank you!
Getting credentials as a way of proving we're not idiots was spot on. Knowledge is intangible and having a badge to say you've been through countless nights studying means something to us.
I am a intj everything you said is scary accurate you are very knowledge and a good friend if you show your emotions to this intj friend of yours he will open up and definitely pay you what he owes you as a intj we might have misunderstandings and often think 🤔 people change with time including friends so although intj are usually alone and isolated you might want to check up on him he will definitely appreciate it we are people with big hearts ♥️
I can shed a little light on the "burn the whole relationship down and cut ties forever over one betrayal thing", since I suppose it's hard for non-INTJ types to fathom.
I think it is basically a two-fold issue. First is that while many people think INTJ's are emotionless robots, we actually can feel/care VERY deeply about someone or some thing. It's just a very rare and selective process. So when the one, or one of the very very few we let in and trust betray us in some way it is devastating. It's the one person in the world we trust and give our full loyalty to, so a disloyalty that may seem minor to others who have many of these types of relationships is gigantic to us.
This causes a large reaction to any betrayal.
The second part to it is that I think for many of us, we see people's behavior sort of like we would see a calculator. Most people are like shitty calculators - they are wrong, they don't make sense, the sums do not add up...
A person we've come to trust is reliable. You put trust in, and the calculator spits out loyalty. However. Even if a calculator has been working for years, if one day you type in 2+2 and it gives you the answer as 5 - even once - that machine is no longer reliable. If you put in any equation, you can never trust the answer again. Not ever.
This is sort of what a betrayal is like - we feel like we can never, ever trust you again.
Even if the person is "forgiven", this leads to even more of what you call "loyalty checks". Now we have to continually "check" the calculators answers. We have to do it longhand, do the problem in our head, and check the answer against reality. All answers are now scrutinized for inaccuracy. This will usually spiral into the end of the relationship anyway.
I'm rambling, but hopefully you can get something from the analogy.
Dope! Please check out the virtue and vice lecture for INTJs, I think its season 6 or 7.
I did.
I'll comment on it when I can set aside some time. Some good stuff in there.
As someone who is about to break off a 4 year friendship... This is so insightful...
Idk, I’m an INTJ, and I don’t do that. I get that that would be good, but why don’t I do that?
That's so true! It's sad how most people don't get the fact that it takes a lot to break us but when we break, we BREAK 😐.
I came here to verify. Again. For the 5th time.
😆 same
@@dahliaherrod4301 and still verifying. I might be an ESFP or ENTP. You can never be too careful.
Bahaha, holy hell...I think I'm only on my 3rd
@@shuggyy I'm doing it again. I don't know who to trust...
@@gdl8071 i think the most clear cut way to know is via Se inferior and Si demon.
Now I get why my INTJ best friend hates being lied to and has cut herself off from people who've done that to her in the past.
ButterflyZo Yes...i bet she thinks of them as nearly demonic. I find it eerie for people to lie unless it is for survival. INTJ
Does anyone like being lied to?? Like who are these people who like being lied to and having shit talked about them...
Legit spoiled my work environment.
@@felixthecat2786 A lot of people do like being lied to, so long as the lie makes them feel better than the truth would. Conceptually, I get it, but personally it disgusts me.
I can't make good decisions without accurate information: lies screw up my thinking. I'm also pretty idealistic: lies screw up my ability to trust.
I don't want to hear sweet, pleasant things; I want to hear accurate information with no spin. I hate political correctness because it's just polite lying.
I hate that so many of our sources of information consist of fearmongering, propaganda, manipulation of the information, and outright lies. I wish that they'd just tell the truth.
perfect example of 24:04
*does around 10 hours of research*
*FEELS that I'm an Intj*
Ti Critic: "Confirm This"
Me: *Is back to doing hours of research*
true that
Exactly what im going through
and you trust those 20 hours of sources? sure there's no new information or contradictory info somewhere that someone else can use against us? I dont win an argument from just one side, I win it on all sides. trust me, I deeply consider all aspects of what my partner is saying to me as long as it makes sense. How they feel, why, keep gathering info. 9/10 its just them being childish or small minded.. why???? bc of course they didnt take a second to see things from my perspective or both.
Other types: try not to wonder too hard why the INTJ wont even give you the time of day in an argument. Not because we're super smart and all knowing or even correct in the situation but because our operating system crunches data and approaches things a certain way, as such, either you input the data correctly or the system wont compute. I'm not being an asshole when i say this, I can't help it, I just tune them out or its strange like I hear them but im not listening, Im positive Im not storing any of their data. Not to mention, after a bunch of other peoples opinions you were wrong and they (INTJ) knew it from the start, and you wonder why you couldnt manage to utter a word at them.
story of my life :)
Oh damn I'm doing that
The reason why you have the most requests for this type and the INFJ type is because IN-J types love MBTI and typology because they want to make sense of the social world.
I have a crush who is an intj that doesn't really care too much about MBTI. Like, if i were to put about mbti and cognitive function to the topic. She will be like "Oh, that thing" But i dont really know whether she study abt it or not
@@hiraga1403 Im INTJ and I didnt care about MBTI for years and years. until one day I got frustrated that I always got different results each time. That made me start learning deeply about MBTI
@@hiraga1403 like me at first, think that MBTI is a social thing, until I get a test for myself, several times, and study more about it.
And because there are many fake ones, they convinced themselves because apparently they see these types as cool.
I learn mbti for the need of myself and not to bothered by other people makes me consider myself as INTJ (and secretly wants to be an INFJ)
I burst out laughing when you explained the judge-jury-executioner pattern of thinking we have because it’s so true. When I smell bullshit/insincerity from people, I just shut myself completely from them and dont want anything to do with them. Not exactly a good thing.
But there is so much bs and fakery around...why put up with it? Find the people you can really trust.
Il do even if I see morol or idiological inconsistencies.
Like that's not what you said last time we talked about this topic.
Now I know you say what people want to hear. I don't trust you now your gone.
I am an INTJ & I agree with you, and I don't think it is a bad thing. I really get pissed off the minute I figure out they are faking it. Cutting them off is the best policy
Yep, totally true. Recently my mother asked me to go to my grandfather's to fix his TV for him. In reality, I knew she just wanted me to visit him. She knows I know nothing about TVs, and when I told her this she asked me to "just make him think you're fixing it." When I told her that I wasn't going to manipulate him into thinking anything, she freaked the fuck out claiming that I "just didn't want to visit him," which is true, but also, why does that matter if you're goal is to simply find someone to fix his TV, and I couldn't fix it?
If she would have came to me and asked me to visit him, I would have done it, but she didn't trust that I would, and so lied to me to get me to go, and also asked me to lie to my grandfather. Losing my fucking mind with her sometimes.
It goes the other way too. This has happened multiple times, but I can remember one time in particular where a person of power who was very slimy and fake started doing their usual BS schtick in front of me, I saw completely through everything, they could tell I saw through them just by the way I looked at them (probably my INTJ death stare, lol), and from that moment on they avoided me and were visibly very uncomfortable any time they were around me. INTJs, especially as we get older and have some life experience, are literally geniuses at detecting BS. I regularly am amazed that large groups of people do not see BS for what it is when it is SO obvious and apparent to me.
Asking a INTJ about their past is like asking Batman about his parents
Batman is an intj
We are Batman confirmed
Batman is an INFJ, he's very affiliative, and a stereotypical idealist. INTJs are unaware of social Norms(Fe trickster), INFJs feel responsible for social Standard of others (Fe Parent)
~INTJ female here. If we do tell you something from our past, it most likely has a relevance & of extreme importance to whatever is happening in the present, & you should pay attention to the information we've just given you.~
@@jeromeblacq7528 INTJs will learn to do anything if it accomplishes a goal. Even if it means blending in with society.
-An INTJ
What I don't understand is why people want to be an INTJ so bad. People hate you like really hate you and think you're weird and that something is off about you. On paper you're amazing; in person you're annoying. No one wants to be around someone who can do all the things that they can but better and in half the time. Most of the time INTJ's aren't even trying! That's why we'll die alone. I bet if more personality tests said: "Congratulations, you'll probably die alone and single." a lot fewer people would want to be one.
I TOTALLY AGREE!!! As an INTJ, I'm so hated, especially for that I'm honest to the bone. If I see something is not right, I will tell it, no matter what the cost. It doesn't matter for me if I say it to my mom, boss, etc. If something doesn't work, it needs to be repaired & I don't look at the social links. I also hate my type for overthinking - I just can't see something straight. My mind is full of sh*t & it sometimes pisses me off. The Ni function very often inhibits me, but I got used to it.
No offense but I've never wanted to be one😅 they sound boring
I'm an xSFP
INTP here. You guys are our perfect partner.
Nice post. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. People NEED to feel valuable. Normally this isn't a problem because of division of labor and the fact people have different strengths and weaknesses, so even if Person A is smarter, faster, whatever than Person B, Person B is almost always still good at something that Person A isn't good at. However, with INTJs, especially high IQ INTJs, we tend to be not just good but great at pretty much anything we put effort into, so people around us end up feeling like we're better at everything than them. People do not want to have a relationship with or really anything to do with someone who is better at everything than them, hence the social isolation and alienation so many of us INTJs experience.
I have had multiple people now express surprise when they find out they're better at something than me and literally say "this is the only thing I'm better at than you," and something I experience time and time again is people trying almost obsessively to try to prove me wrong even once. Some get so obsessed that they will contradict me on almost everything I say in hopes that it will be the one time I'm wrong. They don't care if they're wrong 29 times out of 30. Just as long as they "win" even just that one argument. It's very annoying.
Mature INTJ men are actually quite attractive to women. I don't know about INTJ females though.
As an INTJ, I found this painfully accurate. Before I took an MBTI test, quite often my friends would say you know you're a lot like Batman. I would say no, I am not. And lo and behold, Batman is an INTJ. If someone lies to me, that's it, I'm done. I've cut my own parents off for long periods of time because the trust is gone. Sometimes I stare at myself in the mirror and ask myself why am I this way?
Rofo Strada Oh no, I don't fist bump strangers.
Anime Jikimo lol I'm aware. I've been researching MBTI types for a couple of years now. Everyone is still different.
Anime Jikimo To each their own, dude.
I guess truth and honesty is a huge factor for building a successful life as an INTJ. I just can't stand dishonesty and lies.
You sound and even talk like my INTJ friend
When someone apologizes to me I always say "If you're really sorry then you won't do it again." Then, if it happens again, then they weren't actually sorry. Buh-bye!
Oh, freakin' this! I'm so goddamn sick of people apologizing to me. It's insulting. Like, don't try to f*** with me, alright? An apology is performed.
@@AlastorTheNPDemon You realize you can have that judgement AND not be a dick, right? -INTJ
(A year later I found this comment) I thought I was the only one who says this, been thinking that since I was like 4.....
I say that to my kid. But to other people like friends, i keep that feeling inside and just outwardly forgive to keep the peace.
This doesn't align with typical INTJ behavior.
We are humble, and when wronged, we tend to respond with, "It's okay, nobody died," or "Everyone makes mistakes."
An INTJ should understand that saying, "If you're really sorry, you won't do it again," sets expectations that can lead to self-fulfilling prophecies for both parties.
A good leader believes in his people; otherwise, they won't believe in themselves.
We are definitely not cold-hearted enough to make such remarks to anyone. Yes, I have shut my doors to one of my best friends who wronged me badly because he was dealing with NPD (having grown up in a dysfunctional family). And until he realizes his wrongdoings, these doors will remain shut. "He's dead to me, in my mind."
And it's better this way. It takes a lot to change our minds, but they eventually do. Those who grew up in dysfunctional families tend to develop either NPD or BPD, or both, depending on personality type and soul level. I believe that Thinking-Judging types are more prone to NPD.
It's not a coincidence that he was my best friend; he needed me, but I also needed him, like all other heartbreaks in life. We need these experiences to upgrade our cognitive functions. After enduring many heartbreaks, you become unbreakable.
How many of us INTJs have dealt with friends like these or with narcissistic managers at work? They needed us to heal them because eventually, we lashed out.
These might sound more like INFJ traits, but I'm autistic.
Anyone who says that INTJs and autistic people aren't empaths is totally wrong. Yes, I hate hugs, or being complimented, and I don't like to praise too often, for instance "you're my best friend", F. that!, or do many other things a "real empath" would do, but that doesn't mean that I don't have my own empathetic qualities by being "kind" all of the time, and then all of a sudden, by saying harsh words and challenging Egos.
Or qualities like knowing how to read any room, and knowing how to calm spirits, or to think critically, and offering comfort by giving ideas and a positive attitude to those at need.
yes, performance anxiety is slowly killing me
I'm a female INTJ. I had to laugh out loud when you talked about how an INTJ will shut you out of their life like you don't exist anymore! I did that a lot when I was young! Not that it's that funny in real life. The funny part was that you explained me so perfectly! You found me out! Hahaha! Lots of great insights. Enjoying your channel!
I used to feel guilty about shutting ppl but after finding out I am an INTJ… I can now understand why. No more guilt, I glide through life without ppl knowing how I do it…. well its all in the head. 😂
I feel extremely attracted to INTJs. I love the cool outside and the warm, insecure inside. Their analytical minds somehow call to me. I love their bluntness. And if I ever have an INTJ friend I will feel really special because of their exclusivity. -INFJ
My friends like it until they have a problem and ask me what I think... Then I show them exactly how they crafted the problem themselves. Through their actions and choices. most really dislike seeing themselves in that way.
Lol, an infj is praising us, that's really awesome.
-intj (who has hidden esfp stance)
My INFJ friends say similar things, yet they rarely want to get to know each other more. So much lost potential from a would-be partnership. Lol. It hurts.
@Marisa did the INFJ relationship thing for 7 years. INTJ INFJ is like a dark horse of the possible relationships that can work.
Lol I sure do. They are cute. I am yet to find an INTJ who i didn't like. Hopefully I marry one.
INTJ: Coconut, hard shell, soft interior
INFJ: Peach, soft exterior, hard core
Interesting...
I thought I was the only one thinking that
In what ways are INFJ hardcore? Just curious
I don’t like to be compared to a coconut.
INTJ’s can be hardcore too!
Holy cow the part about INTJ’s not liking routines is so true! I’ve always struggled making routines!
Yes I cut off people who betrayed me, but no I don’t assume. They really did something to me.
Phương Tạ said every INTJ
Exactly this......whether it is perceived or real betrayal, the hurt is very real and painful. If I assess that the offender is unlikely to change (not that I expect them too) or is incapable of understanding why their behavior hurt me, I cut them off. It saves us both a ton of time and hurt. If there's anything an INTJ hates, it is wasting mental and social energy on a "doomed" (in our eyes) relationship/friendship.
Also, if a person's actions don't line up with their words (even over very minor issues), I drop them. I find it to be deeply insulting and manipulative behavior and it makes it impossible for me to trust them (because I can't predict their behavior or depend on them to not shake my world up). --INTJ female
Right, it’s months of observation with that person displaying a recurring behavior that has already been addressed many times. And they act completely surprised when they get cut off. It’s not “on a whim” and it’s final.
What people don't realise is we hold ourselves and everyone else to extremely high standards of honour.
@@roblaw7826 Predicting behavior isn't that difficult. Do some research in behavioral science (classical conditioning and operant conditioning). You'll need to have some experiences with a given individual to start building a baseline to work from. Then you'll start to see patterns, and if it's rewarding great; otherwise, punishing interactions will become predictable and you'll know that person is toxic or a waste of time.
My brother is INTJ and my dad is ENTJ. I'm an INTP and my poor mom is an ESFP who was stuck with all these NT males. It's so annoying and funny when my brother or father are trying to guage my intentions when there are none to be found. I often make up intentions just to busy them away from peering into the depths of my eye balls. I try explaining I don't have intentions like... at all but that's inconceivable to them.
It's because we have ALL the intentions. My mother is an INTP and I'm constantly trying to figure out how she's so simple but incredibly intelligent. I know it irritates her, I very nearly don't care.
I find it hard to believe that you do stuff without intentions. Maybe your definition of "intention" is too narrow?
@@tpzlol (INTP here) My personal belief is that ALL people act solely for the betterment of themselves, Evolutionary speaking; because of our drive/will to survive. The people we "care" about are the people we know/hope to keep around us, because we believe they will affect our personal lives in a positive manner.
Now when you have all that settled you can focus on the bigger picture, if you help/care for all of Humanity you ensure better chances of the survival of your genes.
This might seem cold and harsh but the truth usually is.
Now we get to INTPs.
I couldn't care less for money, all the money I need is just enough to keep my comfort zone the way it is and to keep myself alive. I have intentions when someone forces me to have them. The world is a system and the wheels keep turning, and no matter how hard you try not to do anything someone or something will always force you to change.
So since I'm forced to change I will aim to change for the best I can, not because its noble or something, but because that is the best way to insure I don't have to change again. So I keep analyzing all the possible futures I see and choose the best one Firstly focused on myself then the ones I "care" about, then all of Humanity.
If I have any intentions at all, that are "just because", I guess it would be to stay alive as long as possible (become Immortal). Then again you can just say that is just my Will to Survive.
But, that is just me. I can't speak for all INTPs, hope this helps.
@@animetest4881 im intp too and i can sympathise with what you wrote, especially since I read "the selfish gene". Yeah I don't think you stay alive "just because", but because you dislike pain/dont want to miss out on certain experiences and or want to achieve things you haven't achieved yet.
I do care for money as having it keeps me comfy, I do not care for spending it though.
its is really fascinating to me that families tend to not overlap in the types. All 4 columns are usually represented.
I don’t understand. Many places write that INTJ’s are very confident. Here you say that INTJ’s are insecure. As an INTJ myself personally, I am very self critical in everything, making me pretty insecure (I’d go as far as saying that sometimes I hate myself and get depression when I can’t succeed no matter how hard I try), on the other hand I’m confident in the way that I’m the opposite of someone you would call spineless, because I respect myself. But it could be just me.
That's not just you. I'm not just insecure but anxious about almost everything, but then suddenly I switch and I'm super confident especially when I know I've masterd a skill/am right etc.
We are always outwardly confident, while questioning internally all the time and spending many hours being prepared to be confident. So other personalities will always see us as confident and they are the ones writing articles or posting videos. I'd love to have a conversation with you on not succeeding no matter how hard you try. You have to harness your power, which is immense, and put it in a way people not like us will receive favorably.
I give in to loathsome feelings 1 day per month, but that’s it or I will get stuck. By day two I’m angry and strategising🤓
Fake confidence. Or in a flow state and subconscious takes over. Not an INTJ, but I ASSUME it's a saving-face thing, for some.
I don't understand either.
INTJ, the "Spectator"
They'll watch, react in the way they feel is expected of them (i.e. laughing at jokes, frowning at bad news, etc...), gather data, file it, reference it at the end of the show, decide if it was enjoyable, and deliver the verdict either with roses or rotten vegetables.
So we’re robots?
Accurate.
"react in the way they feel is expected of them" this is a big pitfall. vulnerable to social proof fallacy (herd mentality)
dude, this was painfully accurate.
@Doug Joseph incorrect.
@Doug Joseph "INTJ's are robots stereotype"
the part about intjs cutting you off completely as if you weren't even human to them is so hilarious and true and i'm laughing so hard
Me toooooo
Yes, that's harsh. I'm an INTJ. I've always been told I'm to serious. I think they just don't want to take any chances lol! To me that's how I felt in the pass. If I do, I would have to watch, not to let that happen again since people don't change overnight. That's why it's easier to cut of the lign completely but, I don't want to be alone by keep on cuting of lol! so I deal with people using another strategy.
I started running through the amount of times I have done this its quite scary the way we / I can just Detach without emotion or feeling once someone shits on me thats its done gone bye Lol
I've never done that with family. I don't think I ever will. They're my family, my rock. I've done it with at least one friend, though.
I used to get asked a lot about why I was so angry. I wasn't angry, just focused on either my work or my thoughts. Pretty often, I'm lost in thought about one theoretical question or another. I love it, but I guess I look pissed off when I'm doing it. *shrug*
ESFJ mother of an INTJ son here. I mis-typed him. He did hours of research and wrote me an essay on why he is an INTJ 😂 yup dead on! Able to see the worry even from toddler age! Only kid I ever knew that would only babble alone in him crib (never around people) before talking. He could walk at 9 months, but wouldn’t let go until he was 1. Taught himself to read (alone in his room after showing him how to break down Dr. Seuss) at the age of 3.5. Also decided one day to teach himself to count backwards from 100 at 3- of course alone where no one could see him mess up ha! He is BRILLIANT and caring and so funny! Now he is almost 21 and military intelligence. That was the best thing that could have happened to him. Pushed him WAY out of his comfort zone and let him grow so much! My ESTP husband and I couldn’t be more proud of our INTJ. Definitely different than anyone I’ve ever known. This video cracked me up because I’ve never known anyone else like our son🥰 Apparently there are others hahaha!!!
As an INTJ when you were explaining the Ne Nemesis it's just so accurate, but I wasn't totally aware of this until I had a fight with my best friend one time and she told me how tired it is to maintain a relationship with me, she told me how careful she had been over the years with me and said that "Once I made a mistake, I know I am immediately trash to you".
18:00 it's not that intjs don't trust other people, it's that they don't trust themselves to judge whether other people are honest or not we're loyal or not.
so true ...
I trust myself and my judgement very well, thank you.
@winggoddess I think sometimes its an inexplainable judgement though. As in to put it in words isn't easy. More like a flash of insight to me. But I do make quick assessments.
That was the most accurate explanation i have ever seen in the internet..That's almost like the MBTI Step II
For me, it's not that I change my opinion of someone on a whim. I watch the other persons actions and listen to their words very carefully and notice the patterns. So if my opinion changes, it may have seem like it was on a whim, but it was very deliberate and was already in motion before the other person seen it coming. More likely than not, the INTJ told you about what you were doing that they found unacceptable and the other person wasn't taking it serious until the INTJ actually reacted, at which point it's too late.
Keenan Jones no worries, I have experienced both ways
C.S. Joseph By the way, you're great at what you do. Very thorough explanations.
Keenan Jones thanks! :)
C.S. Joseph You're welcome.
I love the way you put it! They just didn't see it coming, so they think it's to quick and strong. But, never was. I can see through some people even before they do something. Sometimes I don't even make a serious relationship because what I see is crystal clear, it make me very sad already because I don't want to have to deal with that. One thing I do now is a smooth and quiet disconnection if possible. As an INTJ, my inner info are always accurate so I move alone with them. That's why some people feel it's to harsh! They don't know they've been evaluated before that happens so they think it's sudden. My INTJ friends please find a friendly way to send the message so they know we still love them.
As an INTJ I found saying something like "you already know what you have done" to someone who's asking me what they did wrong most unnatural. It is true that I can cut people off completely, and when I do I don't feel the need to explain my reasons to them... But if I am asked on the topic, I am very upfront about it and immediately explain what, when and why. Answers like "you know already" are a perfect example of those fishy, passive-aggressive behaviors I hate with all my heart and soul. Is the other supposed to guess the reasons behind my behaviors, just as people constantly think I should guess theirs? I don't think so, I will tell them clearly, when asked.
It is also true, on the other hand, that most people won't explicitly ask for the reasons of my behavior, so I won't explain.
Nail on the head
It means you have developed your character. An undeveloped INTJ might do that. I am also an INTJ in a country with less than 1% population are INTJs. I learn to appreciate people's different personalities has different flaws and virtues that made up a complete, distinguishable society. Which also means I understand people make mistakes and so do I.
Yeah, I thought the same thing. That reaction seems much more like a "feeler" response. I have no problem enumerating all the specific ways in which someone has failed me.
I think I’m more of a “do you seriously not know what you did?” followed by an explanation.
I'm an INTP - in 'love' (sic) with an INTJ female - and know this so well from the receiving end... I'm also an IT professional and know this 'phenomenon' from an occupational vantage point. It''s commonly referred to as "illusion of knowledge" whereby someone who 'knows' something - readily assumes that everyone else should know it too. INTJs are especially eaten up with this as they simply think that fast... Mind you - they are not always correct... but they have already derived a conclusion (they are finishers) from a sequence of 'information' and rush to be the first on the buzzer for "got it", which they perceive as making them "right"... which frequently - they aren't. Sorry INTJs - but being the first one with an answer doesn't guarantee its veracity - and everyone is not out to get you for some reason or another. Some people (like me) simply find you that intriguing; special - and like to be around you, despite the scrutiny to which you subject our 'shortcomings' and 'imperfections'. You're built for speed, and like to put things in the rear view... don't view your support team as a liability.
Wait, you can't talk to someone while they are in the bathroom or toilet?
Oh. My bad.
INTJ here. Haaaaate when people talk in the bathroom.
Entp here - I'll do it on purpose
I say stupid things in the bathroom sometimes, trying to keep it humorous with my self-aware Trickster Fe (some tell me I have the ol' Aspergers, and my mother thinks it's funny, so it's basically encouraged). That being said, I try to keep it to school and the workplace, where people already sort of know me as the whacky Goth Swinger with pseudo-dementia, or where I'm actively trying to establish myself as the whacky Goth Swinger with pseudo-dementia. Good times.
As an INTJ I cannot relate at all to statements like “all the INTJs I know” or “I was talking to an INTJ friend the other day”... like how do you know so many people let alone know their mbti? Cannot relate.
Lol the man is in his 30s bruh. If anyone don't know a lot of people by their 30s then they should be questioning their social networking capabilities... Also the man dedicated his life to this science, has Ti parent, and has a type grid tht can literally verify ANYONES TYPE in a matter of 15 min talking with a person for christ's sake. Get over yourself b.
Cuz they don't know shit. Plus an INTJ being so rare, they probably don't even fucking know one. People make shit up, until they find a real INTJ one day like a fucking shiny Pokemon, then everyone's left wondering if they ever knew shit in the first place (hopefully).
@@GVOESPEE He doesn't have Ti fucking shit. He has Fi because he's an INFP or ENFP. I guess he is pretty social and manipulative, that would be a feeler trait, so I would believe you that he gets to know a lot of people. But Ti people aren't that way.
I know, I’m here all like “I can’t even make my husband take the test or anyone in my family for that matter and all these people know everyone’s type, how!? How?! - In case you are wondering I’m an INTJ woman #🦄 lol
@@brucewayne2184 he is ENTP
As an INTJ I value integrity and honesty in others above all else, which is why I connect well with INFJs and they are my favourite people as the ones I know appear to exude honesty and tell it like it is.
jenlovesthisstuff awesome! Ti child truth is fantastic.
@@CSJoseph I'm an INFP 9w1 married to an INTJ. When we are both healthy...we can conquer the world! Can you please do a video on our compatibility???
My best friend since high school is an ENTJ. We could always have deep and honest discussions about things, we like the same music, sports and scientific/philosophical topics and together we drive people crazy with our logical analysis of everything that happens around us xD
Our Introvert/Extrovert differences actually helped us both a lot in balancing out our weaknesses over the years. He helped me not become a complete caveman, while i helped him to not overexert himself by always being up and about.
@@elishalarsen
That is wonderful for you! Although I am(INTJ)curious how this relationship works? I have this friend who is an INFP but I feel like we are always clashing. I am trying to make it work though,as I am always with her for 6hrs everyday. She is very vocal for having an introverted personality. Expressing herself as if she were a fictional character and often very overwhelming(very clingy)or a total hermit some days.
@@branden8915 I love them. They have standards.
Lol micromanaging others as we try to make sure they are comfortable and happy while we do it... Made me laugh. I know the loop this creates.
Oh my, this makes sense with some INTJs I have worked with. It always bothered me, haha.
It's hard not to. I think I know the best way to do things. But so what? It doesn't really matter. I might want to take over, but I hope that I won't. I don't always notice it.
Well.
It's the life time challenge. Because we DO need to manage people to get our way. But we don't want to make people uncomfortable because we care about them. And we NEED to change them! Considerately :p
Trick is to find the ultimate way to do it. Just become extremely good at appearing silly while secretly manipulating them with our humour and they will think you are funny but in actuality you are micromanaging them!
Muahahaha!
This. This. This. ✨
Probably why a 3rd of all world leaders are intj. Just give me absolute power and il make sure you all get what you want. 😂
I will unironically be your new INTJ friend. I never knew I had social anxiety until I watched your videos. Now it’s so obvious to me. I am going to start managing it now thanks to you.
You are most welcome.
On a side note, I would like 'She was a super amazing dancing intellectual' on my tombstone.
I'm an INFP who dated an INTJ for nearly 5 years and I found this incredibly enlightening. Any disagreement would always instantly turn nasty; him digressing to a season of defining fights early on in the relationship. Like you suggest I would time and again explain myself, tell him how comfortable I was with him and even remind him of my proven track record of loyalty. However now I see I was in his bad past memory box and that is why it never worked out. Thank you for what you're doing! You are definitely helping make the world a better place!
You are most welcome, I hope your relationship is able to flourish.
Haha nah. This one is over for good. I hope with this new found knowledge my next one will!
I am an INTJ female and you are quite right (the good and bad). I have to clarify something about social norms: it's not that we don't know about them, we just don't necessarily think we should have to conform to them. Thank you!
One thing I didn't really hear mentioned unless I missed it, is that INTJ's need purpose and to always be working at a goal. And without it, we can go into very self destructive behaviors like alcohol addiction, depression, etc. Its like taking a German shepard and locking it in a room without a job to do. I appreciate your humor (we can take a joke) unlike alot of the other channels that simply just blow smoke up our asses. Sure we make great movie vilans, but it's alot more difficult to be an intj than people realize, we just are good at hiding it because like you mentioned, reputation is everything for us. 48 laws of power is a must read for any INTJ imo, it changed my life especially with my company. And yes we might not be the smoothest guy at the bar, but we are monsters in the sack haha this was the first time I've seen a channel that touched on this. We look at anything in life as a task or problem that must be solved, and that includes pleasuring our women haha!
I know several INTJs and they can't finish anything. They over-think and over-complicate the task so that it becomes too hard.
To you it may look like they are overthinking but if your friend is a true INTJ trust me it isn't as complicated to them as it is for you. INTJs must have a direct path to a goal before we start and if that path isn't clearly realized then it's gonna seem as though we can't finish a goal when in reality we're just trying to sort out any new information that has disrupted our original pathway,. before we continue again we must refocus and set a new path once more to continue to achieve that goal.
I had this problem as a young professional. With good mentoring and focus on self improvement I overcame this. I was a poor delegator and a perfectionist. I now delegate as much as possible and I strive for perfection but will not let trying to be perfect get in the way of good enough. I couldn’t do what I do if I didn’t.
It can happen when you are younger, especially if a project is borring and we are almost finish. the part you see as us complicating is probably the part where we are trying to optimize the system
I dont think so. I am INTJ and I always finish what I start. The problem is, it is hard for us to start something. We plan everything to the T before executing. But once we do, it will always come to fruition.
INTJ here. Always finish what I started. Though I understand why you would think we don't finish anything we've started. We never forget what needs to be done (it's sitting at the back of our heads) and it's true that we overthink a lot (gauging the circumstances, planning to do it etc. esp. if we're uncerstain of the thing that we're doing is worth it or not, or wether it's the right thing to do in my life. But this doesn't mean we aren't finishing it and quitting mid-way, sometimes as we do it, it takes a form of something else). That's why (in my case) it takes time to actually do things I planned to do and the outside world does point out to me the fact that I haven't finished or started the things I would.
For example, it took me 5 whole years to take a jlpt exam. And 2, 3 years to take a dance class or 10, 11 years to begin to learn french (it'll take another few years for me to actually start learning french because it isn't a priority and I have made plans about when I'll learn it).
Idk about other INTJs but for me quitting isn't even in my glossary and I always finish what I started in a way it makes sense to me (I may go hiatus mid-way).
I think I couldn't explain it well but oh well.
The bathroom example has me in tears! As a child I would do that to my mom and she would have to scream at me "LET ME POOP IN PEACE!"
I thought women in general did this all the time? They always seem to go into the bathroom as a group
Lmao that's still me with my mom, I get too caught up in the conversation with her that I don't realize she literally entered the bathroom and I'm following her.. 💀
I'm 20 😂
i'm 23 and i still do that to my mum... also want to continue conversations with my friends like that but try to stop myself lmao
I loved this video - it's unique in that it points out flaws that INTJ often have; something that most other MBTI videos gloss over. The trust/loyalty issue is something that I have to often tackle myself. I'd love to see some videos on strategies that MBTI types should take on improving themselves in light of their shortcomings. Keep up the good work!
INTJs don't have flaws. Just sayin'
Caine's Wrath, the trust issues!
I like to give an impression of trust (with fingers crossed behind my back) such that I can get somewhere, but I never give out enough rope for them to hang me with. If I seem to trust someone, most likely I'm constantly looking for weak points so I can't be screwed over. I don't even look people in the eyes... they seem to take it rather personally.
This sort of makes it hard to discern if my celibacy is voluntary or not. Am I doing this to myself? Whatever the case is, wanting someone desperately who can appreciate what I appreciate while not even allowing myself to trust them enough to be in any real relationship makes for a hell of a case of loneliness.
Traitors deserve every drop of pain and coldness they incur.
I would not ruin someones bathroom experience by talking to them.
Why is that?
Awkward enough accidentally going to the bathroom same time as someone else without starting a conversation. Unless it's a family member or something, no risk of awkward there.
Just having a hard time with that example, gray area between socially unaware vs. wanting others to feel comfortable. But I assume you must be speaking from experience.
That example seems to be extreme. Short of being raised by wolves, it would be hard to believe one would grow up not realizing that was wrong. I totally miss social norms all the time, but it is more like, someone invites you to stay for dinner but really do not mean it. In reality they were just being polite but I take it literal.
talking to someone while they're taking a shit is pretty high level social unawareness but the other 99% was spot on. i couldn't stop laughing when you were giving INTJs shit, it was too true to be mad. I'm pretty good on the dance floor in the right circumstances too
Random observation:
INTJ, with ESFP subconscious.
I'd say most people try to integrate with their subconscious and make it conscious while developing themselves.
My INTJ sister started dedicating her time and life to art when she got into her 20's.
I would say it's related to the fact that our subconscious drives us in our life.
As C.G. Jung said - 'Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.' it's very interesting to see.
Izu mi yeah tell me about it.
This is one of the most accurate descriptions of an INTJ I’ve ever listened to!
Great work!
Thank you sir!
As an intj I had no idea talking to people while they are in the bathroom was socially unacceptable until I watched this video.
I'm not going to stop😌😌😂. At least with my family. They're used to me anyways.
Bruh, for real? I mean inside the house with your family and familiar people might be fine when they're used to anyways but, huh?
Ok fine at least you realized
I'm INTP and my best friend is INTJ. For the most part we are similar, but there's a difference in the fact that if someone treats me badly, I don't confront them and just try to avoid them. However if someone treats her badly, she will 100% confront them and effectively make them own up and apologise. I think, to generalise, that INTJs love to implement their ideas and thoughts, whilst us INTPs are perfectly happy keeping our ideas in our heads.
Also, my friend loves the vid :)
Hm. Maybe this also differs wrt personal history, how you were raised etc. I think INTJ's might be afraid of conflict as well - and they might not always build up courage to implement their ideas...
@@aniokay Well, judging types are usually considered to be very much focused on implementing their vision and ideas compared with Perceptive types who are ok with having ideas not being actualized in reality and ok with just exploring in their mind various possibilities.
Hannah, I could have written this. EXACTLY THE SAME!!! The only difference is that we're men. I (INTP) gotta say that I'm trying to learn that from him (INTJ) but I'm not as quick in my responses.
Yes!! I dont mind getting confrontational 🤪
I have learned through many hours of research and self thought that I'm pretty much a 50 - 50 mix of INTP and INTJ. This is spot on. Sometimes I just let the person I have a problem with have it all spelt out to them, but sometimes I don't care enough to talk at all.
INTJ Female. Nerd. Dancer. Ms Morals. Research and reference fanatic. Strategists and studying psychology. “Annoyingly vague”, apparently. Big value on trust and loyalty. Important to give credit where credit is due. Thanks for your content, it is interesting hearing my personality precisely explained.
If this is a dating ad, I’m so interested. 😉-ENFP Male
After that Ne tangent... I feel slightly attacked. It took a lot to get through all the words to finally arrive to 'you're paranoid'...lots of bad INTJ interactions in that way? That being said, I'm not that wild but intentions are extremely important to me. Fairly accurate. Love it.
So true. Make fun of how I sound, dress, or look; and I will not enjoy being around you as much as I did before because if you find me so unpleasant, why would you want to be around me in the first place? I'll spare you the displeasure and just remove myself from your presence. And yes, I am loyal to a fault to the people I care about (which are few). If a person I'm loyal to is not loyal to me, it will wound me deeply. Loyalty, to me, is one of the highest forms of love. And yes, if I consider you toxic to my life, I will cut you off for all "eternity" so fast it will make your head spin (which is not my intention btw; your reaction is irrelevant to me at that point. I'm not trying to hurt you either; I just want to be free from your toxicity so it won't harm me).
I’m an INTJ and I ALWAYS give the benefit of the doubt - once.
Ah this! So true for me too
Same.
explains why I hated so much when I was asked to write an essay about "the most touching/excited/etc. experience in your life" in writing classes back to school days. I don't want to write about it, and let the teacher (or even worse other classmates) to read it at all.
I love my Si demon! lol
I didn't know where else to put this, Hi! INTJ here, I've been going through all of your content and I can't tell you how much it has helped me learn a lot more about myself and the people I interact with. Thank you for putting this out there and making me feel a little less crazy.
i am an INTJ and I am only here because its a way to escape reality, and have people talk about me, bc I am lonely deep inside, its so immature and stupid, the undeveloped INTJ are arrogant and have a front up that they think is so powerful and cool but they are delusional.
I have recently successfully typed my wife as an INTJ and I watch this video agreeing with you on everything. As an ENTP, I can say that it is a very deep relationship but can also be very explosive if we aren’t careful in our communications. I like to refer to our relationship as a polarizing one because it’s literally like two magnets connecting to each other in my mind! I would do anything for her and she would do anything for me...it’s GREAT!
Our capacity to forgive is actually very strong, but we need to hear the words first. If you're not genuine, it bothers us even more.
Felix The Cat true but the INTJ judging others as not genuine could be as a result of them jumping to conclusions.
Why do you assume it's a judgement and not an objective fact. Isn't that a judgement in its own right? You judge INTJs to be judgemental, when we could very well be thinking in an open minded and forgiving manner towards those who have hurt us.
Perhaps it was the other person who jumped to conclusions and assumed we were judging them. (when we had nothing, but good intentions in our hearts.)
Felix The Cat touche good sir ;)
Good madam:)
Generally I don't judge people, but if someone apologizes, first thing first they must address all of the thing
Im an INTJ-A, but only got to know abt it when i started to work on a BPO industrt. Based on what you mentioned abt us - the paranoia of betrayal. It's the other way arnd for me. During my young adult years, i am very idealistic & trusting to ppl. Until a certain point (mid-30s) that im done. Enough of all the betrayals & taking advantage of my kindness. That's when i totally snapped & blasted (not just burned) bridges. So yeah, i reclused from ppl (making me an anti-social). I guess, my Se took over my Ni. And i tell you, it's a totally wrecking experience. Now im training all my cognitive functions to avoid me going insane. 😁 thanks for this vid.
you are most welcome.
This guy literally just opened me up and read me like a book. That felt so uncomfortable yikes. I paused every single time he starts attacking Se just to brush off the chills so that I could continue.
P.S For some reason, because you kept touching on Se and Ne I started to not like you and then I realize this is exactly what he was talking about.
My best advice for fellow INTJs: don't speculate or allow others to speculate on what's inside people's heads (they're usually wrong about us and we're usually wrong about them), give people the benefit of the doubt (this is just a good rule for life but esp for us INTJs), try very hard to be open-minded and see other points of view, even if you don't understand them, (there's a degree to which this is natural for us but it has to be very difficultly and very purposefully honed, esp in the realm of emotions which we suck at), and above all, just let stuff go (it's not easy but it's very important; there's simply too much that will bother you and keep you up all night, you need some peace of mind). As for everything else, it's probably more good than bad and just has to be channeled correctly, but I definitely think that addressing those key issues will make your life so much better!
I JUST got done telling my husband to stop translating things to me- oh he meant you're way in over your head etc. I told him it's a blessing I don't know what others are thinking because I'd worry myself to death.
I don't take advice from you Tim you look fat and that is a sign of lack of discipline so get your sht together before giving advice to others.
Yeah im an intj i had a freind a while back tell me that i "i wear my heart on my sleeve" and i was drunk enough to honestly answer "im either just showing you what i judge to be an appropriate response so i fit in in public or im letting you get a peak behind the curtain of my mind in private. But at no point are you seeing a 100% face value me without a mask cuz if i did you'd run screaming. He was too drunk to remember the next day thank god
That's what he wants you to think
Edgy
Hmm, 100% accurate about INTJs busting some amazing dance moves..also true about INTJ females knowing how to dress well
When I was younger I would tell people that everyone gets one chance. Best friends get two. It would be foolish for someone to to betray me (said my superego), but if someone betrays me and despite all my better judgement and past experience I give them that second chance and they betray me AGAIN..? Well, then I'm the one that looks like a fool, and that is much more painful.
The way I learned to handle this is to trust people to be untrustworthy. I have had close friends that I managed to keep (I say "keep".. I mean for about several months, that's long-term for me) because after the first time they let me down in some way I could say, 'Alright, at least they've let me know that they are, in fact, fallible and in what way. Is it worth me continuing this relationship with that understanding?'. Each time they let me down, I repeat this assessment. If it turns out it's no longer worth it, I can cut ties without feeling foolish because it's like 'Well, I knew you were not to be trusted anyway.' So it may seem like it's over 'one betrayal' or 'one little thing', but it can be cumulative over time. It's just that I don't talk about any of those issues until I'm at my limit.
It is sad though, when you have that one person you feel connected to and one day they do something that makes you suddenly realise, 'Oh no. There it is. This is the thing that's going to break us.' and you know it won't ever be the same again after that. I can name every 'one true friend' I've had, all the way back to when I was 5.
Look into stoicism (and/or zen buddhism)
Thank you for creating this video. You really broke down the "INTJ Door Slam" process in a way that I have not encountered before, despite my dozens of hours of research into this subject. It's useful because I believe with practice I can impose standards of analysis upon myself to check destructive behaviors before a final judgement is made. At least that is my theory and hope.
Patterns are important to me, especially to help me navigate social situations I constantly observe how people behave in social situations to help me know what to expect and know how to behave myself (in an attempt to make it less awkward). As an INTJ, I base many of my decisions on patterns...including who I trust or when I trust them. I might notice that a specific individual has a pattern of behavior leading me to trust them less or to not trust them in certain situations (I trust my husband with my heart & soul, but not to remember to pick up milk on the way home). OR... sometimes it's a pattern of many different people who act similarly in a specific situation. The INTJ friend who hurt you may have recognized your behavior fitting a pattern that others engaged in, which caused him to react negatively because he was anticipating a bad outcome based on previous observations of a similar situation. When you give him the chance to reconsider, he may recognize that YOUR patterns of behavior would be different from others.
Fantastic breakdown. I don't do the constant loyalty checks anymore because, in my early 30s, I realized how off putting it was to others and saw how I alienated everyone. The fact that so many of my friends put up with me and stayed loyal is astounding, but I'm grateful and went out of my way to apologize to everyone once I had that epiphany. Everything else is pretty much an exact description of me.
I'm nearing in my 30s, and at this state of life, I do find loyalty checks kind of exhausting in terms of how it screws up my relationships because I have to fix them whenever it happens. It's ineffective in the long run. I've embraced the value of letting offenses go and starting things over, like freely erasing a row of sticks on a chalkboard; basically, keep on extending the wingspan of my patience with others, so I won't become aliented.
this feels like a personal attack
I acknowledge and concur.
Yeah. that is certainly his [pattern. These videos are weirdly emotional and appear to be conflating this dude's
personal experiences with cog fx. He's also emotionalising everything. And also generalising from his specific experiences and his interpretation of those exp out to a pattern for everyone of that type. I am witnessing terrible Ti; what a pain.
Sadly yes ☹️
@@BexPhaedraRowan I think it's because he's an INFP.
@@brucewayne2184 nah. An infp has a firm handle on what their feelings are. This feels like tertiary f and a lack of well rounded usage of the t fx. An assumption that ones feelings are facts. I am an entp myself and I know plenty of others and infps. Experience suggests that if an infp has lower health and well roundedness, then the problem will be unused Ne or overusing inferior Te in particular ways, etc. Whatever the type here is, the point is that there is an imbalance in it.
In all of my time looking into personality traits to try to understand myself, nothing has clicked with me more than this video. Seeing an outsider's perspective was genuinely eye-opening and I'm glad I've come across this.
Great presentation. Great insight. You really outlined for my awareness how Si demon can work, it gives me something to brood about. I never realized that Ne was the bad boy causing much of my issues. I'd always just blamed Se and/or Fe in their respective roles. Turns out that a lot of my Fe presumed problems are both non-existent reality-wise, and actually an underdeveloped Fi screaming out for recognition. This video helped me to figure stuff out and so I can plan ahead more clearly and with more mastery. Thank you. :)
You are most welcome.
Chase, this video is brilliant. I am an ESFJ and had my best friend from h.s. and another guy that I totally, romantically fell for - both INTJ's. I managed to inadvertently trip the Si demon tripwire. And off to oblivion I went into ISFP unconscious having been immediately deemed dead! It took me years to understand and comprehend it. I never really got over it. Had I only seen this video back then. I've done a lot of MBTI stuff in the past years, but NO ONE has moved psycho-babble down the abstraction ladder to the ground like you do. It's a rare gift that you have, for which I as a Sensor have unbounded respect. I don't know that I will ever 'get' INTJ's because of how totally different they are from me. But I am able to understand them (and myself) better now in a way that this video finally crystallized for me. And for that, I am grateful that I found your channel! I hope you see that as sincere. (I did see your ESFJ video and no, I am not like your "mother-in-law from hell" type of ESFJ.) Big thanks and cheers!!!
You are most welcome sir.
I’m so glad I rewatched this yesterday because I just encountered a scenario where I felt this huge betrayal from people about this work I produced because I didn’t get the recognition I thought I deserved for completing it because “I did the right thing and no one even cared and all this hard work I put in to make this as seamless of an experience as possible literally went out the door and I feel hurt and betrayed, and like I’m not worth anything to the team. Not recognized for the WEEKS of effort I put into this” thing. And I took it SUPER PERSONAL and got really upset. And then I took a step back and realized this went down this way because of other people involved in the work pulling in their politics into the mix for power over something. And it really is external to me. I wouldn’t have been able to quickly overcome this without this video explaining the tendencies. Rewatching this really helps in understanding behaviors and the way we interact with the world and where our faults are unconsciously to us. I wanted to share how much your videos help us grow to be more self aware, become better versions of ourselves as reach self actualization. I know they have help me tremendously. Thank you for being awesome!!!
you are welcome
This is the most accurate thing I've ever heard about myself (even if I don't talk to people in the bathroom).
INTJ do have delicate feeling as seeing it as an ENFJ find it really adorable.
As an INTJ Friend, totally understand the feeling of being rapidly testing the trust level. As a prospective of a friendly of them just feel sooooooo tired. And the part of sudden cut off really do happen and I have no clue at all and they really expect you to know.
Thank you for the amazing video!! 💖
I've never seen someone before who knew me better than I know myself.. Very well done 👏👏👏
Bravo, very spot-on for me...I can build a house, fix a car, explain laws, and have an MBA. Nicely done on your part specifically because you didn’t make me feel like you were attacking me..
This is so accurate. I recently made a huge drama after a group project at uni. I had been talking to the teacher, which I do not like, because all of the others (ISFJ) where to shy to ask. I had been asking all these stupid questions we had to know the answers for, I was taking a bullet for the team risking I might seem stupid when all of us actually was a mess, and afterwards they laughed at how I had stuttered at some words instead of giving credit for actually do the shit job. I actually think that our friendship is ruined now and I have no problem with it.
Absolutely brilliant video, I've found most others very high level without any depth whatsoever. I recently discovered MBTI and typed as an INTJ so I thoroughly enjoyed learning about my type from someone who has gone more than skin deep into the subject. Keep the videos coming :-)
I'm impressed by how much you are smart and lucky for being able to read people's minds and personalities like this on a very deep level!
I'm an INTJ female and I'm 18 and I'm not sure if my personality could change in the future (because i still young) but i think that's unlikely to happen cause it's way deeper...
Thank you so much for this video it was very educational.
And i hope that you make more videos about every personality and how it behave in differents areas of life. ❤️
I am anINTJ, so i suppose you can say I understand a little bit of what goes on in the mind of an INTJ (of course, everyone is different, and everyone's thoughts are different, but you know what I mean). INTJ's are not emotionless. We are not cold or inhuman. We actually feel emotions very deeply, but we struggle with expressing them. Sometimes an INTJ may even see it as a weakness. We are openminded, so if you come to us with an opinion we won't shoot you down and call you an idiot. In fact, we might even ask more questions about it to earn more knowledge about other people's views on a certain subject. But if it's stupid you'll be cut off immediately. A lot of us are not power hungry, but knowledge hungry, and sometimes that can translate to wanting power in the eyes of others. We love to plan and schedule things, but if you have a problem with it, we are open to changing it, as long as we agree.
Thanks for this! The part about making sure others have a good experience is right on it. My man is an INTJ and I notice him always checking on me and how he goes the extra mile arranging things so others have the best possible experience.
Just learned I am an INTJ. I’ve never gotten into personality types before and damn, this is pretty much spot on how I am!
Ah ha! I really gotta say thank you for putting all these videos out there. It took so long to realize the kind of childhood trauma I had and why I was acting the way I was, and why I was so confused and scared of everything.
I think I finally get how to just "be" now, and it's so relieving, there's such a massive weight off my shoulders and I don't feel like I have to hold up the world anymore. It's possible to just relax, do my own thing, be nice to other people who are also just out there doing their own thing, and maybe try to convince people how they can refine their thinking and be more open to others if I feel like it's worth it and something I know enough to do.
I think without your videos, it would have taken me way longer to really understand what this really means.
This is hands-down my favorite INTJ video. Very insightful and spot on. Im never wrong.
You must be wrong on your emotional perceptions.
U must be wrong on getting jokes.
@@mynameisnotavailablehere jokes are trivial
@@SoundsOfSushi it was a response to the person above
@@mynameisnotavailablehere oh… emotions are trivial then
I have a younger sister who I suspect is an INTJ, but time will confirm that. Very skilled in whatever she takes the time to learn, her most distinct skill being drawing, where she literally will save up hundreds of references in how to draw specific types of objects. Definitely has the distinct Inferior Se described in this video.
“INTJs are the most paranoid mbti type”
Wow, story of my life, I’m paranoid almost everyday
I'm an intj and I think that while we aren't good enough with the whole socializing thing, we can manipulate people quite easily since we understand quickly the other's character and how he/she is going to perceive and react with everything we say. Or it might be a personal thing . I don't know
My partner is an INTJ. This is him to a T, especially the virtue and vice video! I’m an ENTP and we work really well! I’m making him watch this but when I first suggested it, I received his typical sceptical eyebrow waggle, but eventually convinced him 😅
This is terrifying. The way you explain this type, it's as though they are insane. Yet, this explains alot.
I will remember this. Thank you
This is freakishly accurate. I cannot stand being micromanaged but I will gladly micromanage others to ensure things are done correctly. I also can’t help but improve on methods even at the risk of offending others. The worst thing is when people do something without understanding why they are doing it. And nothing irritates me more than someone who is incompetent and no one does anything about it. I hate being diplomatic to avoid hurting someone’s feelings when they are just plain wrong. At the same time I’m super paranoid and self conscious and analyse social interactions over and over in my mind. While I often feel that I am more capable than others, I desperately want them to like me and have a positive experience around me. It’s exhausting being an INTJ!
thanks for your comment ^^
INTJ female here... i threw my head up and deep-belly laughed when you spoke about sex and the insecurity/social anxiety we struggle with LUCKILY I'm married to an ENFP (shocker!) And he totally does the pacification and reassurance to smooth the way for amazing bedroom times! Geez, this video is fantastic
I'm an INTJ and got some wicked dance moves, stuff I picked up in the Discos of the late 70's... and I can still do them!
INTJ here. Great description! So true :-) part about dancing is just wow...
I'm an INTJ. When I first stumbled on this video I didn't know what you were talking about. So, I skimmed through your content in a few hours and came back and now I know what you're saying...
...Then I got to the part where you said we learn fast...
Veery good!😆
We’re taken both too seriously and not seriously enough all at once way too often.
And we stay quiet too often just cause we don’t know how to find the “proper” way to share what’s on our minds. Or quite frankly we simply just don’t care. But we should. The way this world is headed, we ought to be ourselves, fully. We’re the ones who can really make a difference, fast. Hope my fellow INTJS understand or try to.
I’m not done with someone when they make a mistake...it’s all about intention. If I have put my trust in someone, it’s because I’ve studied their behavior, morals, and intent...if they start acting out of the ordinary, I will assess the situation. Why are they acting this way? Is their something in their life that has caused this change in behavior? Is it malicious or is it a mistake? Even if I find that I can no longer trust a person, I realize that this trust may be within a specific area only, so I will adjust to close that specific door for a while until I see a change. I usually won’t completely shut out a person whom I trust based on one mistake...but I will let them know I am aware. It’s completely different with your confidant then it is with randoms. With randoms, I’ll get an intuitive feeling about them, and then look for evidence to support or disprove this intuition. We don’t jump to conclusions, everything has a reason. Perhaps you’re dealing with a very under-developed INTJ, which makes sense. I completely understand that humans make mistakes...but repetitive behavior does not lie. I will take the time to explain myself to any person who wants to know the reason for my distance, but if they choose not to do anything to reflect on or modify their behavior, I will not be sharing my feelings or inner thoughts with them. I will be cordial, fair and provide them with the most basic of human respect...but I will not put myself out there. Do you realize how much time and energy it would take to explain our inner and bloody accurate assessments? That’s why it’s easier to just let people think we’re paranoid or standoffish...I could care less. I really care about ppl, but if those ppl are not at a point in their lives where they care about themselves, I will retreat and let them live and learn on their on.
Ugh, look at all these grammatical errors...yes, it’s just a simple YT comment, but Jesus...take an extra 4 seconds and do a quick re-read and edit. I’m disappointed in you Amanda.
Yes! As an INTJ, I agree with everything you just said! (including the self-talk about checking for grammatical errors--although I have no problem with any errors on your part...just when I make them)
Heather Peterson yes, sometimes I really envy ppl who write things as if they’re typing with one finger and eating pizza w the other 4...and they couldn’t care less...
Heather Peterson actually...after doing a bit more reading, perhaps this negative self talk is due to critical parent Ti...I’m really interested in getting to understand my shadow functions better, when I use them and why. Chase goes into it a bit here but I wish he would do a more in depth series on each type’s shadow functions.
I agree, and I think the jumping into conclusions before testing part is specific of young INTJs. I am working to overcome this (I am 17) and I'm certain I will be able to do so because of our strong willpower. In the meanwhile, though, I make sure that my distrust of people does not make me shut doors so easily
Hmmm... INTJ-A here. This explains my “Blacklisting” behavior amazingly well. Frankly, I perceive people who cannot control their emotions or what they say as untrustworthy and potentially dangerous. No sense in trusting someone who is incapable of being able to honor my trust. On the other hand it has taken me a lifetime to understand that (most) people don’t fully understand what they think and feel, and can’t adequately verbalize either. I’ve slowly gained more compassion and become more forgiving. Relationships are still a challenge!
I do it too. I'm down to a hand full of family members and no friend lol. Wish I was joking.
Me as an INTJ, socializing isn't that hard when you've put on a goal to reach after and when I've strategically planned to achieve it. But if the circle was a forced interaction, it'll be hard to adjust. I don't really like how the world works and that makes me detached myself from people who are puppets of society. I always have thoughts about much effective ways on how to do stuffs tho and it's really irritating to see messed up flows. Lol idk after watching this I think I've seen my blind spots haha thank you!
you are most welcome
So True! When I plan things ahead of time I'm more comfortable. But I learn to pick my own battles. It decrease a lot of stress. I know I can't change people, and I can't wait for them to change, so I learn to be more tolerant. But if I get burn out, I give them a distance then I catch up with when I'm ready.
I don't have trouble with socializing. If it's with good company and meaningful conversation. I hate small talk or gossip and find it very draining. I used to be a waitress and I saw social interactions like my work conversations with customers as formulaic.
How do you subscribe to CS Joseph and Jake Paul atthe same time???
INTJs will put zero effort into a relationship if it doesn’t fit their plan or needs.
Damn its really weird, do all the INTJs here feel like almost all the comments here are written by clones of them/us/me? :)))
I am an INTJ-T, and let me tell you, you are A.M.A.Z.I.N.G !!! Your descriptions are so on point. Your judge-jury-executioner line made me laugh my head off. I often hear myself say in my head: "You may see me smile at you, but I may have brutally killed you many times in my mind". The loyalty part is also very true, because we are just generally pessimistic. For me, I dislike disloyalty because I have been bullied mercilessly my entire life, and it becomes quite natural to think like that. I can also confirm that I have a great sense of style and I am a pretty ok dancer too.
Furthermore, my best friends are INFJ and INTP. I literally call them my brothers, because we understand each other so well. INFJ is the epitome of loyalty, which I adore. INTP is like a super nerdy alter-ego for me, so he lets my inner nerd shine.
much appreciated
This video is hilariously accurate I honestly cannot stop laughing since my dad is an INTJ and he literally checks the mark with the logical facts to the tee. As far as the INTJ door slam he has done that to two people in the past few years (one of those people was actually a family member who was trying to steal money from his business that he used to operate for a few years) so he’s die hard serious when it comes to loyalty checks. And as for the paranoia I never realized how pranoidn he is with regards to others intentions (he even locks the door in his own bedroom when he wants to sleep by himself at night it’s so odd it’s like he’s preparing for a hidden ninja assassin in the house😂). That being said he is also an amazing person and I love him and all INTJs out there. They really are great people to be around if people give them the chance.
I cut people off on accident. I haven't talked to a person who considers me a friend in 5 months. Just don't feel like talking to him, so I don't.
Wow, amazing info. Thank you so much C.S, thank you. That was very helpful.
I LOVE YOU! LOL, Okay, I'm a 50-year old lesbian INTJ so I don't actually love you, but this is an AMAZING video and I APPRECIATE you so much! It's the best one I've ever seen on INTJs. I actually learned something about myself (the whole paranoid thing is so true but I never really articulated it to myself until now). Thank you!
You are most welcome.
Getting credentials as a way of proving we're not idiots was spot on. Knowledge is intangible and having a badge to say you've been through countless nights studying means something to us.
I am a intj everything you said is scary accurate you are very knowledge and a good friend if you show your emotions to this intj friend of yours he will open up and definitely pay you what he owes you as a intj we might have misunderstandings and often think 🤔 people change with time including friends so although intj are usually alone and isolated you might want to check up on him he will definitely appreciate it we are people with big hearts ♥️