Yep. They always ask those stupid, blatantly obvious yet loaded questions, but when you turn it around on them, testing them, calling their bluff to essentially put up or shut up, they sure realize what a big pile of poop they stepped in... but they were "JUST BEING NICE", right? Trying to make you "feel better" (about yourself) and all? Great job, ladies. The nervous laughter and awkward departures that translate into an unmistakeable rejection certainly does wonders for one's self-esteem and confidence. Thanks for that. Frankly, if a woman ever asks that of me (though I doubt they ever would these days), my answer will be more direct in its design to put her on the spot, and I would just turn her own question around on her, and say : "Well, gee, I dunno - why don't YOU tell ME? What are YOUR reasons to have nothing to do with me on any level beyond the platonic? Whatever they are, there's your answer. Just one of many, as every woman is different and will have her own reasons. Would you mind sharing yours, and filling me in though? I would sure like to know for myself precisely what it is about me that women find so objectionable and unappealing?"
@@BlackieNuff Bro i read your whole comment thrice. Bravo 🎉 One of the best replies ever dude 😭 (edit: maybe even THE best idk) Like why do ladies find the need to ask us the question without thinking of the answer themselves
There was a layer of protocol to smooth things but also social structures that amount to forced exposure. My psychologist made me write a list of 10 social situations with increments of fear. The requirement is to go into those situations and learn that it's ok. In the past, people were corralled into the necessary situations required to give them exposure and the knowledge that they could be rejected (hopefully politely) and the world continued. The skills of having good general knowledge and being able to engage in conversation were learned skills. Something as trivial as line dancing or knowing how to fox trot was more predictable than needing people to have skills in whatever weird gyrations and spasmodic flailing modern club dancing entails. In the past, your teachers and parents were military drill instructors whipping you into shape. Having a family wasn't an optional extra. It was a central order of business. Our central order of business is amusing ourselves. And the inverse of competency seems to be learned helplessness.
This started long before dating apps, social media, or even the internet. Starting in the 60s and 70s girls were taught that their only path to personal security and happiness was to focus on their career. The average age of marriage, and having children, dramatically increased soon after. At the same time, men have been heavily discouraged from approaching women. We are either harassing them, or we are toxic, or creepy, the list goes on.
"Starting in the 60s and 70s girls were taught that their only path to personal security and happiness was to focus on their career. The average age of marriage, and having children, dramatically increased soon after” meanwhile, the average age that females lose their virginity got lower and lower and keeps getting lower… the average age that females lose their virginity in is now 15, it used to be 19 in the 70’s, and before that in the 30’s it was 21...
@@s.d.3236 Spot on. Women used to be pursued and could not wait for a man to court them, get married, be a housewife and have children. Today that woman is oppressed by the man!
My niece took that class at BYU. It was nice, because it gave you an excuse to ask for a date. You could say “hey, I have to go on a date for my class. Will you help me out?” it made it less awkward.
At my private school all seniors where required to take a class called Mariage and Family and it was amazing. It went over all kinds of things about relationships centered around Christian values and principles. one of the few useful and interesting classes i took in high school.
Find a 4-6 out of 10 looking girl/boy. They are usually better at talking and spicy things. That's your level 1. Even if you're good looking level 1 is important
On one hand, the digital age has connected us in ways unprecedented but on the other, it's created artificial barriers in human interaction, making dating particularly challenging for Gen Z.
I know why I'm single: because i was homeschooled my entire growing up life, had health issues in my 20s, now i've lived in a cabin in the middle of nowhere for 5 years, and at 35 all the Christian guys around my age are already married/taken... i just want someone who loves Jesus, is kind to me, and wants to commit for life ❤
try to find a way to contact an angel. You can invoke an angel through certain prayer. The angel might not respond, however. You can’t ‘force’ an angel to appear, you will only see an angel if he decides to appear to you. (unlike summoning a demon). If you are successful, you can ask the angel for advice and if he can help you any way
You should move. Not trying to be funny. Move to Georgia. Find a nice Southern Baptist church with at least 1000 members. There are normal guys out there.
As a 23 year old woman who has always been single, I have just recently started rejecting the lies the culture has been spoon-feeding to my generation about dating and marriage. I have began trying to better myself into the kind of future spouse I want to be, while also opening myself up to the possibility of a relationship. Nothing has happened yet, but I'm holding on to these kinds of videos, conversations, and efforts being made by individuals as a sign that there is still hope. This is an incredibly important topic, and I'm thankful Brett continues to discuss it!
So I have been doing the same as you with trying to be the best father figure I can be but I have never been in a relationship and have always been single. I am suprised that other people are doing the same as I have decided to try my best to be the person that I would be proud to call dad
@@samuelsellers3829you'll br surprised about the amount of people in the same page. The things is, you won't see them blasting their lives on social media, precisely because of the self work.
Same. I never really believed the lies, but I have just had a low opinion of myself for a long time and I figured if I wasn't okay with myself, why would anyone else be? So I just never tried. Now though I'm working on bettering myself, viewing myself with more grace, and I'm putting myself out there for the first time. Just keep up the good work Cam, we'll all get there eventually
I'm 37 and had dated a few guys in my early 20's. I got into a year and a half relationship that was great but ended because the guy said I was "too young for him". (He asked me out to begin with and he was also in his 20's still). I had to move back home at 23 and got into hookup culture to spend my lonely nights until I found the one. It is always worth it to wait and not settle. I met my husband 3 grueling years later but we have now been together 12 yrs. My suggestion is keep things casual until you know deep down it's a person you see being with long term. My best to you!
I'm glad I grew up in the 80's. You dated your first girl, made mistakes, dated another, made mistakes, learned from your mistakes and did better. You worked thru girls or guys until you found one you wanted to spend more time with. Eventually, thru this process, you ended up with a person you wanted to spend your life with.
That's cool, we have to make sure the woman isn't a prostitute on only fans, or a dude, or someone looking to make false allegations against people to play victim. Then we have to worry about her leaving because some dude hit her up in her facebook DMs.
@@greorith It's crazy out there, so these are some of the main reasons I don't even bother. Dating has become a minefield unfotunately (probably always was, but not to the extend it is today). I guess that's what women wanted, so it is what it is. We just have to accept it and move on with our life and forget relationships or creating a family.
I'm 27. Met my present gf (she's 22) on a cruise in Alaska. Neither of us were looking for a relationship and yet we found out we only lived abt 6hrs away from each other. We got to know each other while part of a bigger group on te cruise then when the cruise ended I spent multiple weekends driving up to visit before moving up there and we got together a few months later. Neither of us are perfect but we're growing together and prioritize communication. There's hope for others!
I'm 47, been single 6 years now and dating is a total dumpster fire. I'm lucky to be in a good job, have a great circle of friends and can afford nice dates. None of that translates into actual dates when you can't even get a connection to ask someone out. Apps suck, they are gamified and commoditised to the max so I've ditched those in favour of singles nights. Wish me luck!
I’m glad you have the job and friends aspects sorted, that’s not to be underestimated. Good luck with the singles nights! I’m a 40 year old woman, who hasn’t dated a lot - I tended to gravitate towards the wrong guys when I was younger, but gradually I reviewed my values and decided to stop dating while I figured out what I really wanted. Starting to realise now, though, that dating, especially as a woman in my 40s, isn’t going to be easy, and it sounds bad enough for young people!
As someone who is 28 almost 29 and had a traumatic first dating experience when they were younger. I seek therapy and better myself in every way possible, but even with all that, I get ghosted or the "Ew no" reaction when asking someone out. So, at this point, I stopped looking for a relationship. Seeing people complain about not finding someone, BUT when there are people like me who are out there wanting one, we get rejected...
My problem is that if I ask a girl, it's not only the fear of rejection but the fear of being seen as a creep. I was raised a gentleman, and I do everything I can to make women comfortable and feel safe. So it hurts when this is said
If you are respectful and kind when asking (ditto if you are rejected) no sensible girl will think you are a creep. If she thinks you are a creep after a polite inquiry, SHE is the jerk. Consider it a sign you dodged a bullet. Good luck.
@@kblauryl8160i had a woman scream in my face “I’m engaged! Leave me alone!” In front of a grocery store when she had done something nice for me i asked for her number. That was it, just asked for her number. And she publicly made a huge scene about it and i eventually had to back away slowly with my hands up
What are you asking them? If you want to meet up for ice cream in a nice restaurant on a Sunday afternoon that's great, but if you're asking to pick them up in a work truck at 11pm on a Friday night that's another.
I'm a 29 year millennial. The issues I see is being picky, career focused first relationship later attitude, the after effects of me too where guys now feel even talking to a woman at the mall or anywhere public unless she's your cashier will get you pepper sprayed and called a creep, and lastly dating site bots and catfish.
I'm 31 female, and I have social anxiety when it comes to flirting or talking to a guy I find attractive. I don't use dating sites because I had way too many scary stories about it.
All valid points. Although bots and catfish issues are only on dating sites and apps, which do nothing for you to begin with, so that is probably a non-issue as you shouldn't be using these apps anyways.
@@Fireflame80srocker most guys are going to be more scared of you ruining THEM on every level than you are scared of them. Straight Men are the devil in the eyes of modern society....
if you're a woman, that's not a problem unless you have excessive standards yourself. If you are a man then it's one of many features and so you can improve the others offsetting the ugly.
I don't understand women who complain about men. We're not that hard. Women think men are complicated because women are complicated. "Keep his balls empty and his stomach full."
I'm 24 never had a girlfriend and I have come to the point where I have just given up on dating and accept the fact I will be single for the rest of my life. It unfortunate I will never be able to experience being in a relationship and everything that comes along with it but its the reality and I need to learn to accept it.
At 24 I'm the exact same. I've figured out that the best thing to do is to make the most of what you do have and accepting singleness. If you can accept it, then it feels more like your own choice, making it far easier to cope with. To be honest, the more I think about it, the more I realise that dating would likely cause lots of stress and problems. Sure occasionally I still crave intimacy but then I recall how much drama it can cause, how many compromises I'd have to make and how generally annoying most women can be.
24, Worse Boat - Sick Dad, graduating at the end of the end of the year. Bleak future outlook. Lucky to be a McDonald's burger flipper for the rest of my life.😢
So glad I married my high school sweetheart. We both look at each other sometimes and express how grateful we are not to have to deal with the modern dating scene 😂
@@jgsimonian 15 years in October here! I met my husband at the bowling alley because the mall was too far for us, we didn’t even have our licenses yet. 😂 Best wishes for you guys from PA ❤️
@@fungouslobster5123 - I’ve no idea what your age (or gender) is, but just be a decent, respectful person and interactions may come, which could lead to something more. There is hope. Join a group with likeminded interests. I won’t give you the BS platitudes. Good luck and I wish you the best!
That's true for neraly all 8s, 9s, and10s. It's true for a lot of lower ones as well, but there's a segment of 5s, 6s, 7s, that are plenty fuckable and way, way lower maintenance. This is the sweet spot, this is where you can have fun without dedicating your entire life to it.
Men get weird and refuse to try after being burned once. I get it. But there are plenty of us who are expecting the basics of a good man while knowing what the work is
I don't think it's gonna work. The problem is not the fear of rejection or inability to call someone on a date, it's the standards(usually among women) being too high
Hopefully classes like these will teach some of those same young women that their standards are too high. Surely some of them will be obligated to take this class...
@@bibaolaitan5189 That's not a stupid thing to ask. What he's asking is "what is your purpose in any future relationship that we might have?" If you can't answer that, then that's all we need to know.
*Larry Burkett's book on "Giving and Tithing" drew me closer to God and helped my spirituality. 2020 was a year I literally lived it. I cashed in my life savings and gave it all away. My total giving amounted to 40,000 dollars. Everyone thought I was delusional. Today, 1 receive 85,000 dollars every two months. I have a property in Calabasas, CA, and travel a lot. God has promoted me more than once and opened doors for me to live beyond my dreams. God kept to his promises to and for me*
It is the digital market. That's been the secret to this wealth transfer. A lot of folks in the US and abroad are getting so much from it, God has been good to my household Thank you Jesus
if you're a woman, that's not a problem unless you have excessive standards yourself. If you are a man then it's one of many features and so you can improve the others offsetting the ugly.
Honestly, I'm not in college yet, but I pray as a Christian that I'm not cooked when I am older. It's kind of hard even at the middle toggle of Gen Z girls. I prefer befriending before actually getting closer in any way. I don't understand how people get so physically involved over emotional involvement first. Kind of backward to me, but I know many people are afraid of getting closer because their parents weren't the best models, and it does take work to break familial marital patterns.
@@duck_rifle5879 I know. I don't have that mindset which sets up for failure, and I do not intend to assume it, even in jest. It is isn't consistent with how I actually think and talk, which I hope is better in person. I'm not a pessimist, at any rate.
@@BGLEE001 Very true. In this case, I am only showing what I want others to see, not who I am, really. I know I am not "cooked" per se, but that I ought to work out flaws in my personality before considering romantic relationships. I fully acknowledge that it may be mindset, but as I noted, my behavior in real life isn't always congruent with how and what I write. Thank you for your consideration.
I would not call myself a Christian but I agree with you. Emotional attachment, friendship and love comes first, then eventually physical relationship. I am a man and I know we are supposed to be all about the physical side but I always enjoyed romantic comedy, dramatic love stories and err.... science fiction films.
As a millennial (31 currently) I saw this coming with gen z. I saw the steady decline in people being able to connect. I remember dating getting so much more difficult in my mid to late 20's and this was for late millennials including myself. I then saw this trickle into gen z as they became of age in their early 20's. Now the art just seems lost.....I really feel for gen z and even gen alpha in the next 15 years.
@MysticaRealms yes I know. I was just stating that I saw them in their early 20s beginning to struggle when I was in my mid to late 20s. I am a late millennial...born 1993 right towards the end.
Honestly I like the idea of dating classes. Reminds me of the olden days and how they would teach people how to set dinner tables and converse politely at parties. Those years were so classy. We could really benefit from bringing it back and getting rid of our current state of degeneracy.
1. Go to a good church. Regularly. 2. Learn a trade, a craft, a profession - how to do something (many things?) really well. 3. Do some things genuinely to help others. Frequently. 4. Learn from your parents, or otherwise, from those who are doing it, how to be a good spouse. 5. Learn how to be good company. Mostly, this is being interested in others, and listening. And common courtesy.
Counterpoint that I need help with. 1. None of my churches have girls are in my age range (18-22) 2. I am skilled in a variety of crafts and professions, but I have very little social contact. 3. Bad father, struggling mother. I am an overall great guy. Christian, not too bad looking. I mean... just perfect by today's standards (reasonable standards that is). But outside of a church or college, where in the heck could I find someone to date??? Like, my problem is not that I am not going to church, nor that I have any lack of social connections. My problem is that I am close to exhausting every alternative, and I need my second wind. Any advice y'all?
@@grumpypenguin11235 Yeah. But there are still a lot of issues with dating apps these days. It's crazy because there are either conservative women who have our values, and then there are "Christian" women who don't even come close to our beliefs. I feel like where I am, I can't have both. Soooooo frustrating.
As a member of an older generation I must say it was most definitely NOT easy for us. Yes, I have no doubt it is far more difficult for GenZ than previous generations. I have no doubt that for the reasons Brett describes so very well, it is far worse than ever. However, I must point out it did not come easy for previous generations. We struggled and went through a great deal of discomfort and made tons of mistakes when dating. It is very much a "trial by fire" experience.
Yup, we went through plenty of rejection before finding someone who even shared one interest let alone multiple. We had to basically find someone in our hometown as young adults fresh out of H.S. unless we went off to a dorm.
As a milennial I agree with you. I was a sophmore in high school when online dating just started out in the mid 2000's. I remember when breaking up over email was the thing before breakups via text message. People had problems with their social skills even before online dating was popular. Honestly, I think online dating really does work out well if people knew how to use them properly. Sometimes, I think the people who really struggle with dating (especially online dating) also struggle with their social skills in other areas of their life.
Reminds me of that scene in Hot Tub Time Machine Him - "How do I get in touch with you?" Her - "You come find me" Him - "That seems like a lot of work"
That was a great line because it shows the massive difference between 2010 and 1986. What's bizarre is that everything was much harder back before the Internet, and yet, everything is harder now. Apparently, people just "sucked it up" and "got 'er done" back when there was no choice, but making things easier not only made people lazier, it made people MORE lazy than is commensurate to the reduction in difficulty. 🤦
That I know. 14 years of bullying made me to not be able to have a normal socialization process. I'm nearly 35 and never dated or had any close relationship with a girl. Since I was garbage to them and yes, some made sure to say that to my face. So I have little social network and no exposure to the opposite sex
@@lyralince6681 and you also know that nothing good comes from school administration injecting themselves into people's social lives, they only make things worse
@@lyralince6681 I don’t know if you are religious/spiritual, but you could try getting a djinn/spirit partner. Step 1. use a prayer to summon an angel. Step 2. ask the angel to help purify you of bad things step 3. ask the angel if it is permissible for a human to be in a relationship with a djinn/spirit step 4. IF (and thats a big IF) the angel says it’s ok, then ask if the angel can get you one that is a) religious, and b) ’untouched' to marry. its pretty dang far-fetched, but anythings worth a shot at this point...
31, single, getting better how to mingle but still struggling to get a date... However, i still got some hope left and i pray for all of us that we get that date and it becomes long term and fruitful.
@@DavidZ4-gg3dm bold of you to assume I can acquire a girl. Nope, I don’t do that without being in a relationship. All this time I’ve been working out, exploring interests, and got a motorcycle.
@@Infinite_Mortis You acquired a girl in the past. Forgive us for thinking that, out of the 4 billion women on Planet Earth, at least two might want to engage in romance with you.
I promise you, none of that is the reason your single. Your single because your not a body building asshole. I'm skinny. Been skinny my whole life. And I'm nice (I don't cheat) and my only options are fat chicks with high body counts. Think of all the women who are overweight and socially awkward in your area.... They won't date you because Chad and Tyrone fuck everything that will lay still long enough
Heard this before. I live in a town of 5,000 people. Found someone. If you're living anywhere smaller you're doing yourself a massive disservice. 1. Get out and talk to people, even a small convo to the store clerk. People who aren't socially awkward aren't just born with thay ability. It's learned through constant exposure to social situations. 2. Lose some weight? Eat a bit healthier, or even better, just eat less food, and exercise more. It's all mental. Nobody but to blame but the excuses you've given yourself. Goodluck. Seek God, and you'll find some solace in this life.
For me it is Socially awkward Underweight And very limited options (Oh yeah and also the fact that I'm 15 and don't really do anything social other than school karate and things at my church).
Join art classes, a running group, a CrossFit gym, a yoga studio, volunteer regularly at an organization you care about. Anywhere that involves doing something you already love to do and where you see the same people regularly. These people already have a common interest with you. If they're wearing a ring, they're not available. If they aren't, you'll find out eventually through regular conversations. Dating involves SO MUCH MORE than swiping right or left. Getting to know people is part of the process. As for $15 - $17, since it's only a 90 minute date, get coffee and pastries at a local coffee shop, or go to a used bookstore, arcade, or go get ice cream cones and sit on a bench at a park and talk to each other.
@@ceu160193That's what I was gonna say, I've seen this advice many times and all the stuff they list are things I would never do. Except the gym but I don't socialize there.
I'm single because I'll be forty in November and the last girl I was in a serious relationship with didn't just leave and break my heart, she cut pieces of my heart out and took them with her. She decided she wanted to move to France randomly out of the blue on a whim. The next girl I tired to date fractured three of my ribs, so at this point I'm just about ready to give up, buy a goldfish and play my guitars alone, forever alone.
I don't know about you but, I find guitars to scream, hum and sing in a harmonious sound. They will always look beautiful. They could care less what you look like. Finally you only have to pay for them once. Women? Will complain and throw fits because your guitars get more attention, then still can't figure out why.
1. The very fact that Gen Z women have been in situationships and dated multiple men at the same time disqualifies them from any meaningful relationship let alone a long term relationship. 2, universities should be focusing on the subject and get the students ready for the workforce and not be pimping out our children.
Millennial here and I totally support this. It’s good to be open to how all generational groups handle things and learn from that. Even when I was dating, it was already tough for us, and we got the best of both worlds (meeting ppl in person and using dating apps). So I get where gen z is coming from. I feel there is a need for all of us all to be more understanding of each other than discrediting each other for what we can and cannot do. And move forward into helping each other, this is all for a brighter future
We need this now days. With the endless possibilities and always thinking you can get better, the hookup culture, being raised online; plus isolation from COVID, and of rejection. And don’t forget a big problem with men is being a called a “creep”, even if their not; or being “me too”ed. So honestly, if there an in person course that I could/can do, please sign me up.
Just want to say I enjoy this channel and had to laugh as a local Utahn when I heard Deseret News and BYU mentioned in this video! Just appreciate the shout-out and wanted to mention we tried to break the world record for largest speed-dating event this past weekend at a conference for young single adults. Exact numbers still need to be released, but it was a fun event, and I just appreciate growing up in an environment that tries to be so encouraging for young people and their happiness in all relationships because it is so needed today. It's given me more opportunities to meet people and grow.
This is awesome! I hope you set the record! I am LDS, and know kids who date and young adults who are getting married. It still happens in our niche culture, apparently.
@@KRinT04as an LDS youth outside of large populations of the church, it is quite difficult to find anyone to date. My branch only has one guy close to my age. And we only do stake activities once in a blue moon. I’m fine with dating someone with similar values who isn’t from the church but I haven’t met anyone yet.
Does fear of rejection rule over me? Yes and it comes from experiences that were not happy at all, instead they were HUMILIATING AND HEART SMASHING. I've asked my family(few people not everyone) for what the heck do i do, it's been years since someone caught my interest ( 6 yrs ) i'm shy, introverted, i'm not good looking, I can't buy the best looking clothes or have an style of mine even. And i believe it's a cycle at this point!, i start i push through i go forward only to find myself at Rejection's face once again. I'm 21 got no friends i can trust and live with, i just want somebody to DIE FOR 💌
I'm 57, I TOTALLY understand now. I have 2 gen z kids and couldn't understand that obstacle. I'm forwarding this video to them. I would really love grandkids...lol. THANK YOU!!❤😂❤
As a guy that’s 6’6, in shape, six figure salary, and 29 years old of I have no problems getting dates but these girls can’t hold a conversation unless I’m talking about country music, reality tv, or TikTok. And when I ask them what do with their free time it’s always shopping and going out to bars.
I'm the same but only 6'0. I haven't met a women who's actually worth dating. And I will NOT make the mistakes men have before me and simply settled for someone because they wanted to get married, only to be divorced at 40 while another guy raises your kids.
Just hang in there. As a young lady myself, I can attest that there are women that spend their free time in other ways and can hold fascinating conversations.
@@Victoria_Loves_Jesus most of the girls I’ve met at church aren’t really Christian. They’re still engaging in hookup culture and drinking constantly. They’re at church because they’re want a traditional masculine man that’s going to bail them out of their bad decisions. That’s not all girls at church but I’ve seen a lot of that
Im single because i cant be bothered to go out anywhere other than work, the gym, and the grocery store, with how complicated it is i dont think its worth it for me
I’m 28 and married at 21. I was definitely extremely lucky to meet the right person so young, but we also kept our hearts open . We were 19 and so young, but we knew that we were soulmates. We had no money, crap jobs, and basically nothing. We grew together , made mistakes together, had huge victories together, and it’s been a wonderful adventure. Seems like a lot of people won’t even consider the possibility of a serious relationship at the age I was. I was trying to put myself out there and date, I wasn’t thinking I’d find a spouse but I did. I’m glad attitudes are starting to change . You shouldn’t blindly marry someone young but you also shouldn’t be blind to even considering it. My sister in law is a good bit younger than us, she moved out at 19 with a man and I had my doubts at first, but he takes good care of her and they seem very happy. They’ve lived together for a few years now and will probably get married. I’m happy she also found someone secure at a young age instead of going through more heartbreak.
I was better looking and happier when I thought I knew what was going on. But things didn't go my way, I got burned by my so called friends, and I slipped away into obscurity and nobody missed me. I learned who my "friends" were. I learned that I need to rely on myself for happiness. I learned I was at best storage for after they made their "mistakes." And they made them. But no thank you. I have enough of my own problems to deal with by myself.
@@DDD11239 sorry to disappoint, but I have to say that a woman liking you means nothing. A woman can like you while also liking many other guys. Give them an opportunity to get in contact with anyone who seems better than you, then she is gone.
When i was single, it was because I never learned to have a conversation with anyone, especially not a woman. Anyone trying to start a conversation with me, or vice versa, was a deer in the headlights moment.
so you got to find a girl/guy who is the same way as you, i.e. the two of you will be perfectly satisfied with silence between you, you both don’t need talking to fulfill your relationship ...
Ms. Cooper, I watch these videos you put out to better understand my high school students and the challenges they face. By listening to your well researched commentary, I am better able to advise or communicate to my students what types of communication is important in the real world-NOT the digital world in which they are trapped. Thank You.
Brett, I just graduated from BYU. Dating and marriage is a big part of our faith. There are hundreds of students each year who take a course on dating and marriage through the university. As result, I have learned so many dating tips and tricks I was completely unaware of! I have thus far have been on so many casual days as a result! I originally was an okay dater, but through time and practice I have improved greatly. I have come to realize there are so many wonderful men out there! I have realized through time there is so much technique in dating. If I hadn’t been setting goals each week to date I would be so lost. They even have YSA (Young Single Adult) conference every summer so young singles can meet. It may be a little tacky and traditional, but I am so grateful :)
Thanks for being here! Did you know that vegans make excellent spouses? They're brave enough to stand up to the cruelty of the meat, dairy and egg industries and they're also pretty smart when it comes to eating healthy foods because they're usually studied nutrition much more than even the average doctor has. (They only get a few hours of training in med school). Have you seen the 5 minute documentary here on youtube called Dairy is Scary? Let me know what you think of it. Feel free to come over to my channel to type any time you want to. 🌱
@Eirikr07 You are right. Same here. Just watch an old movie, like from the 40s, and just pay attention to how men and women used to act and interact. 🌎 of difference.
When you accept that the problem is actually you, it is a lot easier to fix. I was over weight, introverted, and lacked self confidence. I would be friend zoned and not notice that a girl was into me because I thought I was going to be alone, girls don't want me, and I was okay with it. Joined the navy, lost weight, met friends that helped me meet women. Went to Japan and dated a few girls with what I learned and had a blast in Japan.
@@michaelwatson9089 Introvertism isn't an😢issue. There's nothing wrong with being an introvert. So many people confuse it with being antisocial. Being an extrovert has its cons.
As a man, there's not much incentive to marry it you don't want children. And of course there's the risk of being run through the wringer in divorce. Rejection & unsuccessful dating is like committing to a bunch of random-ass interviews, for a job you will probably never have. It is a waste of a man's time, money, and energy that he could be putting into other pursuits.
What I ended up doing was waiting at a table after class to say hi to the girl I liked when she left. We talked a little, but I realized that I was way too nervous to ask her out. So, I wrote on a piece of paper that I wanted to ask her out, but was too nervous and drew a rose with it. I gave it to her before class. She said it was sweet, and her friend said it was cute. Unfortunately, she already had a boyfriend, but me and her talked a little more after that. Contrary to what the blackpillers in the comments will tell you, women aren't all heartless. Most of them are decent people.
Hello- 51 year old gen x here. I work with all ages of young people and I sympathize with them! This is so hard for so many reasons. I greatly appreciate your insight into this serious problem for so many and I am going to be looking into what I can do to help.❤
I’m letting my singleness drive me insane. I don’t know why. Probably because dating is a living nightmare and I don’t know how to fix that. I definitely need a Christ centered marriage though. 26 year old guy btw.
I'm nearly 32 (Gen Y). No dates, no relationships, nothing but fear of intimacy in all shapes and forms. 😅🎉 Not a bad idea to teach Gen Z on how to date and more or less how to live.
Millenials are struggling on the dating scene as well,as see it clearly on the my social circles and I think it's because we too have been affected by the same struggles as gen Z at least in a way(or depending on which year we were born)
Amateurs. I've been failing at living far longer than that. I understand the crippling fear. And beyond just lacking skill, people also acquire relationship plaques. The worst case is a 40 year old who has nothing but fear, but - even if approached by a woman - would have to turn her down. Would save the embarrassment of taking her home to star wars bedsheets, nothing in the fridge, and your apartment looking like a thief broke in, tossed everything (though if explaining that to a woman, the thief brought and left the adult DVDs littering the place). I jest. But for me, it's fear, not having anything to offer someone, and knowing that if I did try dating, I'd need to upgrade my underwear. I'd be out 20 bucks. It's too much effort. Psychological stuff is one thing, but people can iron out some of their kinks. Some bachelors might become set in their ways where - absent a decision - their habits pretty much are consistent with accepting being permanently single.
I really could've used one of these classes in school. My only ever girlfriend left me a few months back because I wasn't committed enough. I was scared because I've never had a relationship before. She had a few before that and she knew what she was working with. However she also didn't expect it to be this bad. I am quite the loner (not a single person I could even call a friend). Never liked dating apps. I met her at work and knew her for years before I ever had the guts to ask her out. It worked well in the beginning but soon I discovered that I was always afraid of doing something wrong. And that never really went away. Really sad since she was such a great counterpart to me. Active, social, outgoing... I really hoped I could hitch onto that and change myself. Maybe that's where I went wrong from the beginning. FeelsBadMan
I raised 75k and Christina Ann Tucker is to be thanked. I got my self my dream car 🚗 just last weekend, My journey with her started after my best friend came back from New York and saw me suffering in dept then told me about her and how to change my life through her. Christina A. Tucker is the kind of person one needs in his or her life! I got a home, a good wife, and a beautiful daughter. Note: this is not a promotion but me trying to make a point that no matter what happens, always have faith and keep living!!!
< I know that woman(Christina Ann Tucker) If you were born and raised in new York you'd know too, No doubt she is the one that helped you get where you are!!!!
I’m single because I am 5’6”, average looking, nice guy. I am the triple threat of what women do not want! Believe me, I am happily single as I have peace.
@@DavidZ4-gg3dm by action do you mean playing the "what do you want for dinner" passive aggressive bullshit game? Or the game where she wants you to pay for everything even if you have zero interest in what she wants you to buy? Or the game where she plans your weekend for you and none of things planned are things you don't enjoy but she does and she just doesn't care that you don't? Dating is a joke and the punchline is realizing it isn't worth the time anymore, more than half of all marriages end in divorce, and when that happens she leaves with any kids, the house, and half of everything you make forever...
Brett’s videos help me feel better knowing I’m not alone in being alone lol. I’ve not dated much and I thought that made me a mutant at 26 but turns out there’s a lot of us poor Gen Zers out there
You're technically a young millenial. The oldest Gen Z person is 23. But the two generations suffer from the same problem, so I guess it doesn't matter.
I’m 27 and I’ve lost almost 60lbs over the last 6 months, and finally starting to see results with online dating. Living in a new town and don’t know anyone. Asking someone out in person is scary af lol
It isn't just dating. Face to face interactions with others just isn't a thing, which makes the younger generations a pain to work with or try to get to know. Step one is to ban phones in schools and other social settings where this will force individuals from an early age to interact successfully with others in person.
As a 90’s baby, I remember being on AOL dial up internet… so I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s just Gen Z. You ultimately have choices everyday, and if you choose to live face fu**ing your phone then that’s nobody’s fault but you’re own. And some ppl have social anxiety. It’s all of domino effect of what we call this great country MERICA, from the food, forced vaccines, online social has become the norm since Covid. Not confident, find ways to become confident, put yourself out there
Confidence comes from winning. So what is the goal here? To date a bunch of women? No thanks. They don't like talking. They just want to be entertained. If they like you, they want to have sex on the first night. Unfortunately that's the only way you can tell if they like you or not. They are only attracted to guys who are successful ( confident) with a whole bunch of women. So if you don't have sex with them and get a reputation then your unattractive. They want guys to be body builders. Yeah no thanks. Imagine telling a woman that unless she goes to the doctor and gets bigger (insert body part here) then she is unattractive. Yeah so sounds retarded the other way doesn't it? Yeah, I'm good on dating. No thanks
I know why I’m single. It’s because I can’t find any good women my age anymore. They all got married Edit: it seems TH-cam deletes my replies so I’ll add some context per the conversation below 1) my “standards” are quite low. I just want a woman who is like me: never married and no kids. You’d be amazed at how hard that is to find these day especially for women in their late 20s, early 30s 2) to the creepydude talking about barely legal gals, good luck finding an 18 year old who wants to immediately settle down and kids. And even if you do find one, most likely she will want a divorce a few years later because she “rushed into things” and “missed out on her 20s”. 3) I did not “run through them all”. Most of my relationships have been long term, I’m not a OneNnight Stand kind of guy. 4) I am 5’9”. A lot of women are instantly turned off because I’m not 6ft
I'm genX and have never been on a date, living in a alcohol based culture doesn't help when I don't drink. Also finding out I'm autistic at 40 makes sense, I pick up on hints years after they happen.
I feel like another part of it is that so much of what used to be normal natural RESPECTFUL flirtatious behavior has been deemed sexually aggressive and inappropriate. Boys have been discouraged from acting like boys and girls have been discouraged from acting like girls, so kids question and doubt their instincts and don't know what to do.
Very true :/ I think it has a lot to do with all of the sexual confusion in our culture. You can’t act like a boy or girl if no one knows what they are. I think if people understand themselves in orientation to God, they can actually live as they are meant to.
I was born in 80. Compared to the Z’s, I’m old. Don’t tell me that I don’t know what you are going through, I was born during the shift and watched it happen. This is the kind of crap that happens when schools, government and industry push parents down and claim status for raising the youth. These entities have slowly, generation at a time, been slowly creating a massive divide between child and parent. You might as well be test tube babies at this point
@@paola9615 you all are acting like weak azz victims. knock it off. the only disadvantage you have now, if you live in the US is that the feminist movement has warped everyones minds and pulled the law to much in their favor. there is little value and a lot of risk for men to pursue a women at this point. women will now have to get off their azzez and make the move, but the pride and vanity gets in the way.
Even some churches have a warped sense of what dating should be. Personally I don't want to marry someone that has dated frequently and often. I don't want to have to sort through all the psychological peer pressure that they've picked up along the way. Plus it gives someone the impression that relationships have no real value and can be changed like you change your underwear. But then again maybe I'm the only one that sees that as one of the fundamental issues plaguing society today.
Dating would be easy if it was just about finding a partner. Dating stop being about marriage, and became away to get sex. Like trying on shoes. Bagging the high status males who play the field and then wondering why they could get one to commit. 20 years goes by, and lotta baby mommas, lotta baby daddies, and no whole families in sight. Then the justifications and coping of single mothers and deadbeat dads. When I heard a girl say she eas looking to hook up with a random guy to get pregnant, because she felt lonely. I sighed. Women destroyed commitment with casual dating. Guys are the gas pedal, and feminism cut the brakes. It's not that they don't know how to date, they are told things that make dating impossible for decades, and were told to just blame the guy if it went wrong. If you were dating with the purpose of finding a spouse, and waited for sex till you found said spouse, dating would not be complicated. It simple, most men don't wife up when society has made it so easy f around. They really don't wife up when that can land him divorced, penniless, and paying for another man to raise his kids.
…or, in my case, a 24 year old virgin since I am too scared to even do a hookup! Because with the metoo movement, even a casual hookup can be risky for a mid-level guy like me….
EVERY SINGLE problem in modern American society can trace it’s way back to promis cuity. When kids see their parents getting divorced all the time and then re-marrying other people, it puts in their minds that it is OK to have multiple intimate partners. And then they go on to have many different partners. And then they pass on these same ideals to their own kids. They get burned out by it, but don’t know the reason why, because they were never taught religious values. And so they become very bitter, and turn to feminism and socialism, and demand that the state take care of all their problems. And then, because they get bored with regular jiggy-jiggy, because they have done regular jiggy-jiggy so much, they then turn to ‘unusual' jiggy-jiggy that a certain prideful community promotes. And then you end up with this modern ‘liberal’ hells cape we are in ….
@@BS-hammer honestly, I am too scared to have sxxxxx, because what if I make her uncomfortable in some way, and she goes to the police…? I would only have sxxxx with someone I would have already known for at least a year, and seen with my own eyes that she was somebody to be trusted...
If I had to guess, something that might be playing a huge factor is the amount of people entering dating pools from broken single family homes. Growing up seeing a parent with multiple dating partners, bad mouthing the other parent, or not seeing your mom or dad treated in a way that is happy can really set the tone for if they can't find it how can I. Depression resonates within a household from the top down and not having a good example going into something can really stunt your approach. Not everyone of course but throwing that out there.
I'm 30 years old and I never date or never been in a relationship. We need relationship classes for young adults too. The thing is, this isnt a gen z issue. People that are 30 and under 30 never had experiences yet. We fear rejection too
This is what I've been looking for and trying to do: 1. See if you like each other/enjoy spending time with each other (2-4 dates) 2. Sit down and hammer out the non negotiables (religion/family/marriage) 3. Decide if you want to pursue a relationship with each other 4. Spend lots of quality time with each other (This is the 'dating' process) 5. Get married
@@kingofmontechristo decades…? once they turn 30…? So by ‘decades’ you imply at least 2 decades, so if they are thirty, then starting their promiscuity at 10 years old?!? …actually…nowadays, I wouldn’t be surprised at 10 year olds being promiscuous...
@@kingofmontechristo yEP! And thats why there are so many PDF files nowadays. Because they say “13 year olds are already having jiggy , so why can’t I have jiggy with them??
Here’s the basic gist: if a woman likes you, she will make it patently obvious. She will twirl her hair, laugh, make eye contact, smile, and become excited more so than usual in your presence. All you have to do is initiate conversation, make her laugh, get her to talk about herself, and then ask her if she would like to get coffee sometime. If and only if she says yes, then you make a plan and execute it. Then, when you go on the date, and provided that she actually appears, you meet with her, hold the door for her, order coffee, pull out her chair, and then sit and chat about various topics. It is your chance to get to know her, so ask her questions, and get her to talk about herself. If she asks you questions, respond in kind. If you both can carry a conversation, and if you both feel connected on a bio-molecular level, then presto! You have completed the first date. After that, ask her if she would like to “do this again sometime.” If yes, then repeat the same steps again until you go on your fifth date, and then ask if she would like to be your girlfriend, provided that everything goes well and she doesn’t flake out on you or becomes rude or something like that. If she says yes at that point, then presto! You have a girlfriend. After that, just maintain commitment, and if there are no red flags, you’re golden. The long-term stuff like courtship proper, betrothal, and marriage, however, will depend on how you guys adapt throughout life, but that is the simple truth of how you get a girlfriend. There you go. That’s dating in a nutshell. You’re welcome.
I'm single because there's no way in hell I'll ever trust women my age. Every single one I've ever met is obsessed with either their pathetic little conveniences, or external validation in a relationship.
I cant imagine trying to date in this day in age. Im 22 and happily married, but cant even fathom how I'd get into the dating pool if I was single. My husband and I were coworkers and friends, and just happened to develop feelings. We didn't set out to date. We are very blessed and thankful, but realize that that doesn't happen very often for many these days.
I just turned 33. my father died to cancer. i have been single for over 9 years. My last relationship the girl cheated on me. I am a Christian nerd with six figure salary. play volleyball, bought my dream car Ftype, work from home, but on the handsome scale im a 5 or 6 so no matter what i can't get a christian girl cuz they are picky asf. its happened at least 20 times now i get a number and then get rejected either right away or after weeks or months of texting. It sucks. Dating apps I message 100 girls and ill get maybe one reply. Most of the messages i get are bots. The older i get the more bitter i get and lonely. I dont know what to do anymore. Being a christian looking for a christian makes dating 100x worse because the pool of women is so small
I've thought a lot about this, too. I'm 35, so only a couple years ahead of you. My father died to cancer when I was 28, so you have my deepest, heartfelt sympathies. Yes, being a Christian does make things harder. Have you considered looking overseas in the Philippines? They are a largely Christian nation, with women who LOVE American men, especially traditional American men. I'm not very good looking by any stretch of the word (and 5' 7''), and I was flooded with messages from real women within an hour of making my profile (literally got over 100 messages in the first day; had to hide my profile after day 4 because I was up to 400+) And most of them are skinny, feminine, and sweet (not to mention hot). I'm looking for a job that gives me flexibility so I can go over there, but since you work from home already, this is a good option for you. Give it some thought, brother. You're not ugly. You may just be fishing in the wrong pond.
STOP texting.... you're probably coming off as being too available with time on your hands/have no life.....only date sun signs/zodiac signs that are compatible with your own sign! Try it. Can't hurt!
I was 8 when my parents got divorced in the 1970's. They called it "no fault divorce" Even at that age, I knew that was a dumb idea. Thank the Boomers.
How about a BYO date? Bring something from home you’d like to share (maybe a book swap or board games you’d like to play on the date), bring food either you cooked or that you had on hand that you didn’t specifically buy just for the date, and find a good picnicky spot either in a park with benches/tables or a spot to set out a big blanket and just enjoy the time together discussing the things you brought to share or play the games you brought. Some of my favorite outings with my husband have been “dates” like this. Sometimes we’ll grab a pizza to go and do this but the idea is the same.
![[UNCUT] The Loyal Pin ปิ่นภักดิ์ EP.6 (2/4)](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/GgeGQOP10RQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Her: “You’re such a nice guy, why are you still single?”
Me: “Would you go out with me?”
Her: awkward laugh and leaves room…
“You’re so handsome, why don’t you have a girlfriend?”
“Would you like to have dinner with me?”
“Awkward laugh and leaves”
☕️
@@binks69☕️
Yep.
They always ask those stupid, blatantly obvious yet loaded questions, but when you turn it around on them, testing them, calling their bluff to essentially put up or shut up, they sure realize what a big pile of poop they stepped in... but they were "JUST BEING NICE", right? Trying to make you "feel better" (about yourself) and all?
Great job, ladies.
The nervous laughter and awkward departures that translate into an unmistakeable rejection certainly does wonders for one's self-esteem and confidence.
Thanks for that.
Frankly, if a woman ever asks that of me (though I doubt they ever would these days), my answer will be more direct in its design to put her on the spot, and I would just turn her own question around on her, and say : "Well, gee, I dunno - why don't YOU tell ME? What are YOUR reasons to have nothing to do with me on any level beyond the platonic? Whatever they are, there's your answer. Just one of many, as every woman is different and will have her own reasons. Would you mind sharing yours, and filling me in though? I would sure like to know for myself precisely what it is about me that women find so objectionable and unappealing?"
@@BlackieNuff Bro i read your whole comment thrice. Bravo 🎉 One of the best replies ever dude 😭 (edit: maybe even THE best idk)
Like why do ladies find the need to ask us the question without thinking of the answer themselves
Let's not forget that 70 years ago, they actually had etiquette classes and socials . . .
20 years ago, those still existing at Ivy leagues.
A lot of these things were dedicated to help men out post WWII. They had videos on how to catch a date with women of specific hair colors 💀
@CurzonEve true, and even today, they have programs, cetilion, or however it's spelled. Haha.
There was a layer of protocol to smooth things but also social structures that amount to forced exposure. My psychologist made me write a list of 10 social situations with increments of fear. The requirement is to go into those situations and learn that it's ok. In the past, people were corralled into the necessary situations required to give them exposure and the knowledge that they could be rejected (hopefully politely) and the world continued. The skills of having good general knowledge and being able to engage in conversation were learned skills. Something as trivial as line dancing or knowing how to fox trot was more predictable than needing people to have skills in whatever weird gyrations and spasmodic flailing modern club dancing entails.
In the past, your teachers and parents were military drill instructors whipping you into shape. Having a family wasn't an optional extra. It was a central order of business. Our central order of business is amusing ourselves. And the inverse of competency seems to be learned helplessness.
25 years ago we had some Swing dance weekend event. Even I was able to find a date for it. Probably near the height of my social life ever. LOL
This started long before dating apps, social media, or even the internet. Starting in the 60s and 70s girls were taught that their only path to personal security and happiness was to focus on their career. The average age of marriage, and having children, dramatically increased soon after. At the same time, men have been heavily discouraged from approaching women. We are either harassing them, or we are toxic, or creepy, the list goes on.
"Starting in the 60s and 70s girls were taught that their only path to personal security and happiness was to focus on their career. The average age of marriage, and having children, dramatically increased soon after”
meanwhile, the average age that females lose their virginity got lower and lower and keeps getting lower…
the average age that females lose their virginity in is now 15, it used to be 19 in the 70’s, and before that in the 30’s it was 21...
@@crazysilly2914 because they've been taught that it is meaningless. If marriage is meaningless or not a priority, what's the point in waiting?
@@s.d.3236 Spot on. Women used to be pursued and could not wait for a man to court them, get married, be a housewife and have children. Today that woman is oppressed by the man!
@@s.d.3236 EXACTLY
Hoeflation is almost as bad as inflation. I can't afford to eat, let alone date.
My niece took that class at BYU. It was nice, because it gave you an excuse to ask for a date. You could say “hey, I have to go on a date for my class. Will you help me out?” it made it less awkward.
That is a very interesting point. Plausible Deniability for both sides, a micro-cultural "excuse".
At my private school all seniors where required to take a class called Mariage and Family and it was amazing. It went over all kinds of things about relationships centered around Christian values and principles. one of the few useful and interesting classes i took in high school.
5:57 Toughest Stanford assignment yet: Go on a level 1 date in real life. 😖😭
Yeah I’m definitely failing that assignment
If I got that assignement id drop out lmfao
@@justinleonard6183 yeah same. I'd just drop out at that point.
Yeah I would drop the class. No thanks.
Find a 4-6 out of 10 looking girl/boy. They are usually better at talking and spicy things. That's your level 1. Even if you're good looking level 1 is important
As SpongeBob put it “I’m ugly and I’m proud”
"There's no amount of ugliness that can't be made irrelevant with wealth"
-Me.
Pretty sure that'll be on a tea towel one day.
Is that what you call it?
“Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle he was SO ugly everyone died
The end”
-Patrick
@@Therealcc09 "that didn't help at all!😢"- SpongeBob
I'm gonna guess that it was actually because of spongebob and Patrick bad breath that people didn't want to be around them.
I'm single because I'm dead inside.
Don't worry mate that's pretty common nowadays. We are the glum generation.
Oi mate! I think there's something wrong with your suit.
I’m not dead inside, I just have no drive to pursue a relationship for some reason.
I’m single because I want to be and I want to be with a lot of girls and have sex with a lot of women 😅
@@gifthorse3675 no I just want sex I don’t want a relationship or marriage that’s just me 🤷
On one hand, the digital age has connected us in ways unprecedented but on the other, it's created artificial barriers in human interaction, making dating particularly challenging for Gen Z.
I know why I'm single: because i was homeschooled my entire growing up life, had health issues in my 20s, now i've lived in a cabin in the middle of nowhere for 5 years, and at 35 all the Christian guys around my age are already married/taken...
i just want someone who loves Jesus, is kind to me, and wants to commit for life ❤
and perhaps because i'm a little too based after 15 years of researching the New World Order, lol 😂
try to find a way to contact an angel. You can invoke an angel through certain prayer. The angel might not respond, however. You can’t ‘force’ an angel to appear, you will only see an angel if he decides to appear to you. (unlike summoning a demon). If you are successful, you can ask the angel for advice and if he can help you any way
@@crazysilly2914
Bro this ain't Supernatural lmao
You should move. Not trying to be funny. Move to Georgia. Find a nice Southern Baptist church with at least 1000 members. There are normal guys out there.
@@JamesBond-zd5jx normalcy ~ the dream! i would move if i could afford to...
As a 23 year old woman who has always been single, I have just recently started rejecting the lies the culture has been spoon-feeding to my generation about dating and marriage. I have began trying to better myself into the kind of future spouse I want to be, while also opening myself up to the possibility of a relationship. Nothing has happened yet, but I'm holding on to these kinds of videos, conversations, and efforts being made by individuals as a sign that there is still hope. This is an incredibly important topic, and I'm thankful Brett continues to discuss it!
So I have been doing the same as you with trying to be the best father figure I can be but I have never been in a relationship and have always been single. I am suprised that other people are doing the same as I have decided to try my best to be the person that I would be proud to call dad
@@samuelsellers3829you'll br surprised about the amount of people in the same page. The things is, you won't see them blasting their lives on social media, precisely because of the self work.
Same. I never really believed the lies, but I have just had a low opinion of myself for a long time and I figured if I wasn't okay with myself, why would anyone else be? So I just never tried. Now though I'm working on bettering myself, viewing myself with more grace, and I'm putting myself out there for the first time. Just keep up the good work Cam, we'll all get there eventually
Right-on!!
You’re amazing!
Keep after it!!!
I'm 37 and had dated a few guys in my early 20's. I got into a year and a half relationship that was great but ended because the guy said I was "too young for him". (He asked me out to begin with and he was also in his 20's still). I had to move back home at 23 and got into hookup culture to spend my lonely nights until I found the one. It is always worth it to wait and not settle. I met my husband 3 grueling years later but we have now been together 12 yrs. My suggestion is keep things casual until you know deep down it's a person you see being with long term. My best to you!
I'm glad I grew up in the 80's. You dated your first girl, made mistakes, dated another, made mistakes, learned from your mistakes and did better. You worked thru girls or guys until you found one you wanted to spend more time with. Eventually, thru this process, you ended up with a person you wanted to spend your life with.
That's cool, we have to make sure the woman isn't a prostitute on only fans, or a dude, or someone looking to make false allegations against people to play victim. Then we have to worry about her leaving because some dude hit her up in her facebook DMs.
@@greorith I can see why so many men are moving to Japan. 😂
I also grew up in the 80s. That didn't happen for me.
@@greorith based comment
@@greorith It's crazy out there, so these are some of the main reasons I don't even bother. Dating has become a minefield unfotunately (probably always was, but not to the extend it is today). I guess that's what women wanted, so it is what it is. We just have to accept it and move on with our life and forget relationships or creating a family.
I'm 27. Met my present gf (she's 22) on a cruise in Alaska. Neither of us were looking for a relationship and yet we found out we only lived abt 6hrs away from each other. We got to know each other while part of a bigger group on te cruise then when the cruise ended I spent multiple weekends driving up to visit before moving up there and we got together a few months later. Neither of us are perfect but we're growing together and prioritize communication. There's hope for others!
I'm 47, been single 6 years now and dating is a total dumpster fire.
I'm lucky to be in a good job, have a great circle of friends and can afford nice dates.
None of that translates into actual dates when you can't even get a connection to ask someone out.
Apps suck, they are gamified and commoditised to the max so I've ditched those in favour of singles nights.
Wish me luck!
I’m glad you have the job and friends aspects sorted, that’s not to be underestimated. Good luck with the singles nights!
I’m a 40 year old woman, who hasn’t dated a lot - I tended to gravitate towards the wrong guys when I was younger, but gradually I reviewed my values and decided to stop dating while I figured out what I really wanted.
Starting to realise now, though, that dating, especially as a woman in my 40s, isn’t going to be easy, and it sounds bad enough for young people!
Become a Passport bro in Latin American countries and bring her back to wherever you are located!
As someone who is 28 almost 29 and had a traumatic first dating experience when they were younger. I seek therapy and better myself in every way possible, but even with all that, I get ghosted or the "Ew no" reaction when asking someone out. So, at this point, I stopped looking for a relationship. Seeing people complain about not finding someone, BUT when there are people like me who are out there wanting one, we get rejected...
My problem is that if I ask a girl, it's not only the fear of rejection but the fear of being seen as a creep. I was raised a gentleman, and I do everything I can to make women comfortable and feel safe. So it hurts when this is said
If you are respectful and kind when asking (ditto if you are rejected) no sensible girl will think you are a creep. If she thinks you are a creep after a polite inquiry, SHE is the jerk. Consider it a sign you dodged a bullet. Good luck.
@@kblauryl8160i had a woman scream in my face “I’m engaged! Leave me alone!” In front of a grocery store when she had done something nice for me i asked for her number. That was it, just asked for her number. And she publicly made a huge scene about it and i eventually had to back away slowly with my hands up
What are you asking them? If you want to meet up for ice cream in a nice restaurant on a Sunday afternoon that's great, but if you're asking to pick them up in a work truck at 11pm on a Friday night that's another.
@@kblauryl8160 Easy to say when you're 1. A woman.
Let them come to you. It's rare, but all you need is one.
I'm a 29 year millennial. The issues I see is being picky, career focused first relationship later attitude, the after effects of me too where guys now feel even talking to a woman at the mall or anywhere public unless she's your cashier will get you pepper sprayed and called a creep, and lastly dating site bots and catfish.
I'm 31 female, and I have social anxiety when it comes to flirting or talking to a guy I find attractive. I don't use dating sites because I had way too many scary stories about it.
All valid points. Although bots and catfish issues are only on dating sites and apps, which do nothing for you to begin with, so that is probably a non-issue as you shouldn't be using these apps anyways.
We are more like Zillennial at 29, millennials are getting old
@@Fireflame80srocker most guys are going to be more scared of you ruining THEM on every level than you are scared of them. Straight Men are the devil in the eyes of modern society....
@@sammexp So are Gen Z my friend . We were never gonna be 20 forever
The mirror teaches me why I'm single.
Same bro
Same bro
Ur so beautiful
Filters mean shit. Personality is Everything! Kindness and a freaking Sense of Humor will attract quality many!
if you're a woman, that's not a problem unless you have excessive standards yourself.
If you are a man then it's one of many features and so you can improve the others offsetting the ugly.
I am 44 and I was never taught how to date. I married the first guy who asked me out. Together 25 years, married 18 years
Must have been very desperate for bedroom fun.
I don't understand women who complain about men. We're not that hard. Women think men are complicated because women are complicated. "Keep his balls empty and his stomach full."
@@aprilarlidge2807 Hehehe, but that classical women for you. Anyway, seems that everything went alright for you. Happy to read that.
I'm 24 never had a girlfriend and I have come to the point where I have just given up on dating and accept the fact I will be single for the rest of my life. It unfortunate I will never be able to experience being in a relationship and everything that comes along with it but its the reality and I need to learn to accept it.
A self- fulfilling prophecy
At 24 I'm the exact same. I've figured out that the best thing to do is to make the most of what you do have and accepting singleness. If you can accept it, then it feels more like your own choice, making it far easier to cope with.
To be honest, the more I think about it, the more I realise that dating would likely cause lots of stress and problems. Sure occasionally I still crave intimacy but then I recall how much drama it can cause, how many compromises I'd have to make and how generally annoying most women can be.
@@janelleg597so be it.
26 and in the same boat.
24, Worse Boat - Sick Dad, graduating at the end of the end of the year. Bleak future outlook. Lucky to be a McDonald's burger flipper for the rest of my life.😢
So glad I married my high school sweetheart. We both look at each other sometimes and express how grateful we are not to have to deal with the modern dating scene 😂
Same. 34 years so far and going strong. Met my wife at “The Mall”. 80’s
@@jgsimonian 15 years in October here! I met my husband at the bowling alley because the mall was too far for us, we didn’t even have our licenses yet. 😂 Best wishes for you guys from PA ❤️
I'm very happy for you but I hate you bc im jealous 😂
@@fungouslobster5123 - I’ve no idea what your age (or gender) is, but just be a decent, respectful person and interactions may come, which could lead to something more. There is hope. Join a group with likeminded interests. I won’t give you the BS platitudes. Good luck and I wish you the best!
@@fungouslobster5123😂
Short answer: Women expect too much and I just don’t care enough to try
must be 6'4' and shoot lightning bolts out they're arse. Allthough i'm a fat slob with 3 baby daddy's nuff said
This!
That's true for neraly all 8s, 9s, and10s. It's true for a lot of lower ones as well, but there's a segment of 5s, 6s, 7s, that are plenty fuckable and way, way lower maintenance. This is the sweet spot, this is where you can have fun without dedicating your entire life to it.
Men get weird and refuse to try after being burned once.
I get it.
But there are plenty of us who are expecting the basics of a good man while knowing what the work is
@@EmeraldsFire Ddidn't get burned been there done that. Single Dad with the kid I have the best of both worlds so MGTOW!
I don't think it's gonna work. The problem is not the fear of rejection or inability to call someone on a date, it's the standards(usually among women) being too high
It’s that and men lacking ambition. The feminists and the red pill community have destroyed relations between men and women.
Politics too.
Hopefully classes like these will teach some of those same young women that their standards are too high. Surely some of them will be obligated to take this class...
Yea, cos men don't say stupid things like what do you bring to the table.
@@bibaolaitan5189 That's not a stupid thing to ask. What he's asking is "what is your purpose in any future relationship that we might have?" If you can't answer that, then that's all we need to know.
Demoralization leads to the lack of standards, which leads to the lack of meaning, which leads to the lack of purpose, which leads to demoralization.
*Larry Burkett's book on "Giving and Tithing" drew me closer to God and helped my spirituality. 2020 was a year I literally lived it. I cashed in my life savings and gave it all away. My total giving amounted to 40,000 dollars. Everyone thought I was delusional. Today, 1 receive 85,000 dollars every two months. I have a property in Calabasas, CA, and travel a lot. God has promoted me more than once and opened doors for me to live beyond my dreams. God kept to his promises to and for me*
There's wonder working power in following Kingdom principles on giving and tithing. Hallelujah!
But then, how do you get all that in that period of time? What is it you do please, mind sharing?
It is the digital market. That's been the secret to this wealth transfer. A lot of folks in the US and abroad are getting so much from it, God has been good to my household Thank you Jesus
And thanks to my co-worker (Michael) who suggested Ms Susan Jane Christy
How can I start this digital market, any guidelines and how can I reach out to her?
Im single because my parents gave me the ugly and i like to blame other people for my problems.
Haha 😂
if you're a woman, that's not a problem unless you have excessive standards yourself.
If you are a man then it's one of many features and so you can improve the others offsetting the ugly.
nothing a little plastic surgery can’t fix…!
@@crazysilly2914but then still you're giving the ugly to your children…
that is almost what she said "genz doesnt know how to date and its not their fault".
Honestly, I'm not in college yet, but I pray as a Christian that I'm not cooked when I am older. It's kind of hard even at the middle toggle of Gen Z girls. I prefer befriending before actually getting closer in any way. I don't understand how people get so physically involved over emotional involvement first. Kind of backward to me, but I know many people are afraid of getting closer because their parents weren't the best models, and it does take work to break familial marital patterns.
A good starting point to avoid being cooked is to stop saying things like that. Something to think about.
@@duck_rifle5879 I know. I don't have that mindset which sets up for failure, and I do not intend to assume it, even in jest. It is isn't consistent with how I actually think and talk, which I hope is better in person. I'm not a pessimist, at any rate.
@@CCrescencedon't want to assume, but the way you talk could also be an reflection of how you see yourself
@@BGLEE001 Very true. In this case, I am only showing what I want others to see, not who I am, really. I know I am not "cooked" per se, but that I ought to work out flaws in my personality before considering romantic relationships. I fully acknowledge that it may be mindset, but as I noted, my behavior in real life isn't always congruent with how and what I write. Thank you for your consideration.
I would not call myself a Christian but I agree with you. Emotional attachment, friendship and love comes first, then eventually physical relationship. I am a man and I know we are supposed to be all about the physical side but I always enjoyed romantic comedy, dramatic love stories and err.... science fiction films.
As a millennial (31 currently) I saw this coming with gen z. I saw the steady decline in people being able to connect. I remember dating getting so much more difficult in my mid to late 20's and this was for late millennials including myself. I then saw this trickle into gen z as they became of age in their early 20's. Now the art just seems lost.....I really feel for gen z and even gen alpha in the next 15 years.
It has crippled Millennials as well.
The oldest Gen Z are in there late 20s
@jw70467 yeah definitely. That's why I said I saw it happen in my mid to late 20s and I also saw gen z in their early twenties struggle.
@MysticaRealms yes I know. I was just stating that I saw them in their early 20s beginning to struggle when I was in my mid to late 20s. I am a late millennial...born 1993 right towards the end.
Honestly I like the idea of dating classes. Reminds me of the olden days and how they would teach people how to set dinner tables and converse politely at parties. Those years were so classy. We could really benefit from bringing it back and getting rid of our current state of degeneracy.
1. Go to a good church. Regularly.
2. Learn a trade, a craft, a profession - how to do something (many things?) really well.
3. Do some things genuinely to help others. Frequently.
4. Learn from your parents, or otherwise, from those who are doing it, how to be a good spouse.
5. Learn how to be good company. Mostly, this is being interested in others, and listening. And common courtesy.
YES!
Counterpoint that I need help with.
1. None of my churches have girls are in my age range (18-22)
2. I am skilled in a variety of crafts and professions, but I have very little social contact.
3. Bad father, struggling mother.
I am an overall great guy. Christian, not too bad looking. I mean... just perfect by today's standards (reasonable standards that is). But outside of a church or college, where in the heck could I find someone to date??? Like, my problem is not that I am not going to church, nor that I have any lack of social connections. My problem is that I am close to exhausting every alternative, and I need my second wind.
Any advice y'all?
@@MadHawkMoody Same here, I can't find any guys at church in my age range either (18-22). I heard there are Christian dating apps.
@@MadHawkMoodyBecome Catholic if you aren’t and find a Latin Mass, lots of young people there
@@grumpypenguin11235 Yeah. But there are still a lot of issues with dating apps these days. It's crazy because there are either conservative women who have our values, and then there are "Christian" women who don't even come close to our beliefs. I feel like where I am, I can't have both. Soooooo frustrating.
As a member of an older generation I must say it was most definitely NOT easy for us. Yes, I have no doubt it is far more difficult for GenZ than previous generations. I have no doubt that for the reasons Brett describes so very well, it is far worse than ever. However, I must point out it did not come easy for previous generations. We struggled and went through a great deal of discomfort and made tons of mistakes when dating. It is very much a "trial by fire" experience.
Yup, we went through plenty of rejection before finding someone who even shared one interest let alone multiple. We had to basically find someone in our hometown as young adults fresh out of H.S. unless we went off to a dorm.
As a milennial I agree with you. I was a sophmore in high school when online dating just started out in the mid 2000's. I remember when breaking up over email was the thing before breakups via text message. People had problems with their social skills even before online dating was popular. Honestly, I think online dating really does work out well if people knew how to use them properly. Sometimes, I think the people who really struggle with dating (especially online dating) also struggle with their social skills in other areas of their life.
Reminds me of that scene in Hot Tub Time Machine
Him - "How do I get in touch with you?"
Her - "You come find me"
Him - "That seems like a lot of work"
That was a great line because it shows the massive difference between 2010 and 1986. What's bizarre is that everything was much harder back before the Internet, and yet, everything is harder now. Apparently, people just "sucked it up" and "got 'er done" back when there was no choice, but making things easier not only made people lazier, it made people MORE lazy than is commensurate to the reduction in difficulty. 🤦
Screw that! Lol As a 37 year old millennial, I've been single ALL my life!! 🤦🏼♂️
29 and same. Mind you I only really tried between 18 and 20. After that I gave up and started working on my own stuff.
I’m 31 and same.
31 and same
I’m 22 and I’m single by choice women are wild they want rich guys and I’m bout to be rich just not yet so I just want sex that’s it
That's sad😢
Anyone that has been bullied in school knows how bad of an idea it is to involve the school in any type of social situation
That I know. 14 years of bullying made me to not be able to have a normal socialization process. I'm nearly 35 and never dated or had any close relationship with a girl. Since I was garbage to them and yes, some made sure to say that to my face. So I have little social network and no exposure to the opposite sex
@@lyralince6681 You're here for a reason.
@@lyralince6681 and you also know that nothing good comes from school administration injecting themselves into people's social lives, they only make things worse
@@lyralince6681 I don’t know if you are religious/spiritual, but you could try getting a djinn/spirit partner.
Step 1. use a prayer to summon an angel.
Step 2. ask the angel to help purify you of bad things
step 3. ask the angel if it is permissible for a human to be in a relationship with a djinn/spirit
step 4. IF (and thats a big IF) the angel says it’s ok, then ask if the angel can get you one that is a) religious, and b) ’untouched' to marry.
its pretty dang far-fetched, but anythings worth a shot at this point...
@@lyralince6681 You are not Garbage because some teenage girls told you so. They sound gross to me. I would try to out yourself out there.
31, single, getting better how to mingle but still struggling to get a date... However, i still got some hope left and i pray for all of us that we get that date and it becomes long term and fruitful.
Thank you Professor Cooper.
Ex-girlfriend broke my heart so badly that I haven’t tried again in over 4 years
Have you had any casual action during that time?
@@DavidZ4-gg3dm bold of you to assume I can acquire a girl. Nope, I don’t do that without being in a relationship.
All this time I’ve been working out, exploring interests, and got a motorcycle.
I bet you're either a tank in the weight room or an absolute force in video games now
@@Infinite_Mortis Do you mean you can't get casual action?
@@Infinite_Mortis You acquired a girl in the past. Forgive us for thinking that, out of the 4 billion women on Planet Earth, at least two might want to engage in romance with you.
Haha I think most of the population knows why they are single like me
1. Socially awkward
2.overweight
3. I live in middle of no where with no options
I promise you, none of that is the reason your single. Your single because your not a body building asshole. I'm skinny. Been skinny my whole life. And I'm nice (I don't cheat) and my only options are fat chicks with high body counts. Think of all the women who are overweight and socially awkward in your area.... They won't date you because Chad and Tyrone fuck everything that will lay still long enough
Heard this before. I live in a town of 5,000 people. Found someone. If you're living anywhere smaller you're doing yourself a massive disservice.
1. Get out and talk to people, even a small convo to the store clerk. People who aren't socially awkward aren't just born with thay ability. It's learned through constant exposure to social situations.
2. Lose some weight? Eat a bit healthier, or even better, just eat less food, and exercise more. It's all mental. Nobody but to blame but the excuses you've given yourself.
Goodluck. Seek God, and you'll find some solace in this life.
You forgot number 4. Lot's of issues with oneself.
Literally me
For me it is
Socially awkward
Underweight
And very limited options
(Oh yeah and also the fact that I'm 15 and don't really do anything social other than school karate and things at my church).
I need the small talk class ngl XD
Join art classes, a running group, a CrossFit gym, a yoga studio, volunteer regularly at an organization you care about. Anywhere that involves doing something you already love to do and where you see the same people regularly. These people already have a common interest with you. If they're wearing a ring, they're not available. If they aren't, you'll find out eventually through regular conversations.
Dating involves SO MUCH MORE than swiping right or left. Getting to know people is part of the process.
As for $15 - $17, since it's only a 90 minute date, get coffee and pastries at a local coffee shop, or go to a used bookstore, arcade, or go get ice cream cones and sit on a bench at a park and talk to each other.
Teach me your ways!!! 😭😭😭
Too bad I am not interested in any of those things.
@@ceu160193That's what I was gonna say, I've seen this advice many times and all the stuff they list are things I would never do. Except the gym but I don't socialize there.
@@ceu160193 , these are examples. Think of something you like and do that.
@@silverbear5548 , those are good starting points! Think of something you like to do and sign up for groups that do them! ☺
If only people would slide into conversation as well as Brett can slide into an ad 😂
Is she Woke?
If Yes: I'll Pass
What you said.
The university is wokier😂
Most girls nowadays are woke. It's extremely hard to find normal women nowadays that are single and ready to mingle.
That eliminates about 90% of women if you live in a city. Got to live in a rural place to have a chance.
@@robertclark5874 make it 99% in Vancouver
I'm single because I'll be forty in November and the last girl I was in a serious relationship with didn't just leave and break my heart, she cut pieces of my heart out and took them with her. She decided she wanted to move to France randomly out of the blue on a whim. The next girl I tired to date fractured three of my ribs, so at this point I'm just about ready to give up, buy a goldfish and play my guitars alone, forever alone.
My man, you always have to option to just enter relationships without any expectations
I don't know about you but, I find guitars to scream, hum and sing in a harmonious sound. They will always look beautiful. They could care less what you look like. Finally you only have to pay for them once.
Women? Will complain and throw fits because your guitars get more attention, then still can't figure out why.
dating makes no sense, while other animals can do a dance and find a mate.
Good point.
We used to be able to do that before social media
Because, although the females have extremely high standards, they aren't all utterly delusional psychopaths.
1. The very fact that Gen Z women have been in situationships and dated multiple men at the same time disqualifies them from any meaningful relationship let alone a long term relationship.
2, universities should be focusing on the subject and get the students ready for the workforce and not be pimping out our children.
exactly, cant believe there so litlle ppl commenting on that fact. I'll put it more blunty: Men (good men at least) dont want hookers.
Millennial here and I totally support this. It’s good to be open to how all generational groups handle things and learn from that. Even when I was dating, it was already tough for us, and we got the best of both worlds (meeting ppl in person and using dating apps). So I get where gen z is coming from. I feel there is a need for all of us all to be more understanding of each other than discrediting each other for what we can and cannot do. And move forward into helping each other, this is all for a brighter future
We need this now days. With the endless possibilities and always thinking you can get better, the hookup culture, being raised online; plus isolation from COVID, and of rejection. And don’t forget a big problem with men is being a called a “creep”, even if their not; or being “me too”ed.
So honestly, if there an in person course that I could/can do, please sign me up.
Just want to say I enjoy this channel and had to laugh as a local Utahn when I heard Deseret News and BYU mentioned in this video! Just appreciate the shout-out and wanted to mention we tried to break the world record for largest speed-dating event this past weekend at a conference for young single adults. Exact numbers still need to be released, but it was a fun event, and I just appreciate growing up in an environment that tries to be so encouraging for young people and their happiness in all relationships because it is so needed today. It's given me more opportunities to meet people and grow.
This is awesome! I hope you set the record!
I am LDS, and know kids who date and young adults who are getting married. It still happens in our niche culture, apparently.
@@KRinT04as an LDS youth outside of large populations of the church, it is quite difficult to find anyone to date. My branch only has one guy close to my age. And we only do stake activities once in a blue moon. I’m fine with dating someone with similar values who isn’t from the church but I haven’t met anyone yet.
Where was the event?
Does fear of rejection rule over me?
Yes and it comes from experiences that were not happy at all, instead they were HUMILIATING AND HEART SMASHING.
I've asked my family(few people not everyone) for what the heck do i do, it's been years since someone caught my interest ( 6 yrs ) i'm shy, introverted, i'm not good looking, I can't buy the best looking clothes or have an style of mine even.
And i believe it's a cycle at this point!, i start i push through i go forward only to find myself at Rejection's face once again.
I'm 21 got no friends i can trust and live with, i just want somebody to DIE FOR 💌
I'm 57, I TOTALLY understand now. I have 2 gen z kids and couldn't understand that obstacle. I'm forwarding this video to them. I would really love grandkids...lol. THANK YOU!!❤😂❤
As a guy that’s 6’6, in shape, six figure salary, and 29 years old of I have no problems getting dates but these girls can’t hold a conversation unless I’m talking about country music, reality tv, or TikTok. And when I ask them what do with their free time it’s always shopping and going out to bars.
that's sad - even on the Christian dating apps??
I'm the same but only 6'0. I haven't met a women who's actually worth dating. And I will NOT make the mistakes men have before me and simply settled for someone because they wanted to get married, only to be divorced at 40 while another guy raises your kids.
Those girls sound immature.
Just hang in there. As a young lady myself, I can attest that there are women that spend their free time in other ways and can hold fascinating conversations.
@@Victoria_Loves_Jesus most of the girls I’ve met at church aren’t really Christian. They’re still engaging in hookup culture and drinking constantly. They’re at church because they’re want a traditional masculine man that’s going to bail them out of their bad decisions. That’s not all girls at church but I’ve seen a lot of that
😂😂😂conversation is the key. Face to face. Rejection is part of dating and life
As a Mormon, our small cultural area is way ahead on the dating scene. (Deseret Post, BYU course, singles wards)
@@wingsofwindxd2403 so soaking works then?
Im single because i cant be bothered to go out anywhere other than work, the gym, and the grocery store, with how complicated it is i dont think its worth it for me
Even at those 3 places you can start conversation with someone and maybe ask them out. It doesn't have to be a club or a bar
@@enigmalex3649 no thanks, too scary
I’m 28 and married at 21. I was definitely extremely lucky to meet the right person so young, but we also kept our hearts open . We were 19 and so young, but we knew that we were soulmates. We had no money, crap jobs, and basically nothing. We grew together , made mistakes together, had huge victories together, and it’s been a wonderful adventure. Seems like a lot of people won’t even consider the possibility of a serious relationship at the age I was. I was trying to put myself out there and date, I wasn’t thinking I’d find a spouse but I did. I’m glad attitudes are starting to change . You shouldn’t blindly marry someone young but you also shouldn’t be blind to even considering it. My sister in law is a good bit younger than us, she moved out at 19 with a man and I had my doubts at first, but he takes good care of her and they seem very happy. They’ve lived together for a few years now and will probably get married. I’m happy she also found someone secure at a young age instead of going through more heartbreak.
I was better looking and happier when I thought I knew what was going on. But things didn't go my way, I got burned by my so called friends, and I slipped away into obscurity and nobody missed me. I learned who my "friends" were. I learned that I need to rely on myself for happiness. I learned I was at best storage for after they made their "mistakes." And they made them. But no thank you. I have enough of my own problems to deal with by myself.
Wow this is GREAT! sounds silly but look at the times SO MANY PPL ARE SINGLE AND CONFUSED , it’s needed. Thanks Brett and the team as always
I'm Single Because I have no Interest in being in a relationship....I don't need a class to tell me that.
Stop the cap 🧢. Nah I’m playing
Agreed. I'm sure at least one woman, out of 4 billion on Planet Earth, might like me.
@@DDD11239 sorry to disappoint, but I have to say that a woman liking you means nothing. A woman can like you while also liking many other guys.
Give them an opportunity to get in contact with anyone who seems better than you, then she is gone.
When i was single, it was because I never learned to have a conversation with anyone, especially not a woman. Anyone trying to start a conversation with me, or vice versa, was a deer in the headlights moment.
For me it's just annoying, since I have my own thoughts and here comes someone to interrupt them, often with completely pointless talk.
How did you learn?
so you got to find a girl/guy who is the same way as you, i.e. the two of you will be perfectly satisfied with silence between you, you both don’t need talking to fulfill your relationship ...
@@crazysilly2914 thats not how it works. Socially awkward people aren't magically not awkward around other socially awkward people. It just compounds.
@@Rhjnkiitewsxbmlp i didn't. I got lucky and met a girl whi was interested enough to push through the first couple weeks of ice.
Ms. Cooper, I watch these videos you put out to better understand my high school students and the challenges they face. By listening to your well researched commentary, I am better able to advise or communicate to my students what types of communication is important in the real world-NOT the digital world in which they are trapped. Thank You.
Brett, I just graduated from BYU. Dating and marriage is a big part of our faith. There are hundreds of students each year who take a course on dating and marriage through the university. As result, I have learned so many dating tips and tricks I was completely unaware of! I have thus far have been on so many casual days as a result! I originally was an okay dater, but through time and practice I have improved greatly. I have come to realize there are so many wonderful men out there! I have realized through time there is so much technique in dating. If I hadn’t been setting goals each week to date I would be so lost. They even have YSA (Young Single Adult) conference every summer so young singles can meet. It may be a little tacky and traditional, but I am so grateful :)
Thanks for being here! Did you know that vegans make excellent spouses? They're brave enough to stand up to the cruelty of the meat, dairy and egg industries and they're also pretty smart when it comes to eating healthy foods because they're usually studied nutrition much more than even the average doctor has. (They only get a few hours of training in med school). Have you seen the 5 minute documentary here on youtube called Dairy is Scary? Let me know what you think of it. Feel free to come over to my channel to type any time you want to. 🌱
I’m single because I’m starting to think the problem isn’t actually me
Bingo. Single by choice
Sure.
@Eirikr07 You are right. Same here. Just watch an old movie, like from the 40s, and just pay attention to how men and women used to act and interact. 🌎 of difference.
When you accept that the problem is actually you, it is a lot easier to fix. I was over weight, introverted, and lacked self confidence. I would be friend zoned and not notice that a girl was into me because I thought I was going to be alone, girls don't want me, and I was okay with it. Joined the navy, lost weight, met friends that helped me meet women. Went to Japan and dated a few girls with what I learned and had a blast in Japan.
@@michaelwatson9089 Introvertism isn't an😢issue. There's nothing wrong with being an introvert. So many people confuse it with being antisocial. Being an extrovert has its cons.
Millennial here, I have just about given up. What the hell is the point.
As a man, there's not much incentive to marry it you don't want children. And of course there's the risk of being run through the wringer in divorce.
Rejection & unsuccessful dating is like committing to a bunch of random-ass interviews, for a job you will probably never have. It is a waste of a man's time, money, and energy that he could be putting into other pursuits.
This course would have been really nice to have when I was in college.
What I ended up doing was waiting at a table after class to say hi to the girl I liked when she left. We talked a little, but I realized that I was way too nervous to ask her out. So, I wrote on a piece of paper that I wanted to ask her out, but was too nervous and drew a rose with it. I gave it to her before class. She said it was sweet, and her friend said it was cute. Unfortunately, she already had a boyfriend, but me and her talked a little more after that.
Contrary to what the blackpillers in the comments will tell you, women aren't all heartless. Most of them are decent people.
@@MidwestArtMan Were you a child? Writing a note is immature. At least write a poem, like Lord Byron did.
Hello- 51 year old gen x here. I work with all ages of young people and I sympathize with them! This is so hard for so many reasons. I greatly appreciate your insight into this serious problem for so many and I am going to be looking into what I can do to help.❤
Hurray for the BYU independent study course!!! 🥰👏👏👏🥰
This channel is simply one of the neat channels on TH-cam. No lie.
I’m letting my singleness drive me insane. I don’t know why. Probably because dating is a living nightmare and I don’t know how to fix that. I definitely need a Christ centered marriage though. 26 year old guy btw.
In America, I’d STILL suggest a pre-nup
@@skywatcher8143 what?
@@skywatcher8143 he’s a dude, bro...
@@stellargravity5195 They were asking you if they could send you info to apply to date you
@@crazysilly2914 skywatcher could be a girl.
I'm nearly 32 (Gen Y). No dates, no relationships, nothing but fear of intimacy in all shapes and forms. 😅🎉 Not a bad idea to teach Gen Z on how to date and more or less how to live.
Same here bro, 33 and never been in a relationship or even dated ✊🏽
31 and also struggle with intimacy. I struggle socially too so it all makes it too hard to the point where I’d just rather keep to myself.
31 here and same
Millenials are struggling on the dating scene as well,as see it clearly on the my social circles and I think it's because we too have been affected by the same struggles as gen Z at least in a way(or depending on which year we were born)
Amateurs. I've been failing at living far longer than that. I understand the crippling fear. And beyond just lacking skill, people also acquire relationship plaques. The worst case is a 40 year old who has nothing but fear, but - even if approached by a woman - would have to turn her down. Would save the embarrassment of taking her home to star wars bedsheets, nothing in the fridge, and your apartment looking like a thief broke in, tossed everything (though if explaining that to a woman, the thief brought and left the adult DVDs littering the place). I jest. But for me, it's fear, not having anything to offer someone, and knowing that if I did try dating, I'd need to upgrade my underwear. I'd be out 20 bucks. It's too much effort.
Psychological stuff is one thing, but people can iron out some of their kinks. Some bachelors might become set in their ways where - absent a decision - their habits pretty much are consistent with accepting being permanently single.
I really could've used one of these classes in school. My only ever girlfriend left me a few months back because I wasn't committed enough. I was scared because I've never had a relationship before. She had a few before that and she knew what she was working with. However she also didn't expect it to be this bad. I am quite the loner (not a single person I could even call a friend). Never liked dating apps. I met her at work and knew her for years before I ever had the guts to ask her out. It worked well in the beginning but soon I discovered that I was always afraid of doing something wrong. And that never really went away. Really sad since she was such a great counterpart to me. Active, social, outgoing... I really hoped I could hitch onto that and change myself. Maybe that's where I went wrong from the beginning. FeelsBadMan
I'm 35yrs old. $73,000 biweekly and I'm retired, this video have inspired me greatly in many ways!!!!❤️
I'm inspired.
Please spill some sugar about the bi-weekly stuff you mentioned.
I raised 75k and Christina Ann Tucker is to be thanked. I got my self my dream car 🚗 just last weekend, My journey with her started after my best friend came back from New York and saw me suffering in dept then told me about her and how to change my life through her. Christina A. Tucker is the kind of person one needs in his or her life! I got a home, a good wife, and a beautiful daughter. Note: this is not a promotion but me trying to make a point that no matter what happens, always have faith and keep living!!!
Wow 😱 I know her too
Miss Christina Ann Tucker is a remarkable individual who has brought immense positivity and inspiration into my life.
I started with a miserly $1500. The results have been mind blowing I must say TBH
< I know that woman(Christina Ann Tucker)
If you were born and raised in new York you'd know too, No doubt she is the one that helped you get where you are!!!!
dating is expensive, especially IN THIS ECONOMY?! no thanks negative rizz keeps me not broke atleast 💀
Dating doesn't have to cost money if you are with the right person.
@@Kay-rf3fp I don't get the logic behind this sentence.
@@NHatemN Not every woman is a money hungry shrew. There are some that are just fine with simple pleasures in life. It is rare, but not extinct.
@@Kay-rf3fpno dating and marriage and children are all expensive asf in today’s economy
I’m single because I am 5’6”, average looking, nice guy. I am the triple threat of what women do not want! Believe me, I am happily single as I have peace.
I'm single because I am too tall for a woman and below average looking. I understand your pain :(
I don't think that's why you're single. Plenty of women would happily have you.
You can't be happy not getting action.
Ouch… that’s probably why I’m single to, but I’m going to keep telling myself it’s because I’m not looking.
@@DavidZ4-gg3dm by action do you mean playing the "what do you want for dinner" passive aggressive bullshit game? Or the game where she wants you to pay for everything even if you have zero interest in what she wants you to buy? Or the game where she plans your weekend for you and none of things planned are things you don't enjoy but she does and she just doesn't care that you don't?
Dating is a joke and the punchline is realizing it isn't worth the time anymore, more than half of all marriages end in divorce, and when that happens she leaves with any kids, the house, and half of everything you make forever...
Brett’s videos help me feel better knowing I’m not alone in being alone lol. I’ve not dated much and I thought that made me a mutant at 26 but turns out there’s a lot of us poor Gen Zers out there
You're technically a young millenial. The oldest Gen Z person is 23. But the two generations suffer from the same problem, so I guess it doesn't matter.
I’m 27 and I’ve lost almost 60lbs over the last 6 months, and finally starting to see results with online dating.
Living in a new town and don’t know anyone. Asking someone out in person is scary af lol
It isn't just dating. Face to face interactions with others just isn't a thing, which makes the younger generations a pain to work with or try to get to know. Step one is to ban phones in schools and other social settings where this will force individuals from an early age to interact successfully with others in person.
As a 90’s baby, I remember being on AOL dial up internet… so I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s just Gen Z. You ultimately have choices everyday, and if you choose to live face fu**ing your phone then that’s nobody’s fault but you’re own. And some ppl have social anxiety. It’s all of domino effect of what we call this great country MERICA, from the food, forced vaccines, online social has become the norm since Covid. Not confident, find ways to become confident, put yourself out there
No women constantly reject guys that just go out there we are done with that im gen Z and that’s bull crap
I agree. There’s always somebody better. And that’s the case with everything in life.
Confidence comes from winning. So what is the goal here? To date a bunch of women? No thanks. They don't like talking. They just want to be entertained. If they like you, they want to have sex on the first night. Unfortunately that's the only way you can tell if they like you or not. They are only attracted to guys who are successful ( confident) with a whole bunch of women. So if you don't have sex with them and get a reputation then your unattractive. They want guys to be body builders. Yeah no thanks. Imagine telling a woman that unless she goes to the doctor and gets bigger (insert body part here) then she is unattractive. Yeah so sounds retarded the other way doesn't it? Yeah, I'm good on dating. No thanks
This has nothing to do with Internet. 350,000 years of human romance proves that Internet isn't needed.
@@DDD11239 that’s exactly the point I am making. If I didn’t make that very clear I meant to.
I know why I’m single. It’s because I can’t find any good women my age anymore. They all got married
Edit: it seems TH-cam deletes my replies so I’ll add some context per the conversation below
1) my “standards” are quite low. I just want a woman who is like me: never married and no kids. You’d be amazed at how hard that is to find these day especially for women in their late 20s, early 30s
2) to the creepydude talking about barely legal gals, good luck finding an 18 year old who wants to immediately settle down and kids. And even if you do find one, most likely she will want a divorce a few years later because she “rushed into things” and “missed out on her 20s”.
3) I did not “run through them all”. Most of my relationships have been long term, I’m not a OneNnight Stand kind of guy.
4) I am 5’9”. A lot of women are instantly turned off because I’m not 6ft
You mean ran through
Wrong. Our nations churches are full of good women. Go to where God wants you-and where good women are.
@@serenitypeaceandcomfort3669 What nation?
@@serenitypeaceandcomfort3669Not my denomination. They’re gone.
Are you sure? I've got a lot of sisters and in my experience talking to their friends women are almost as f*cked up as men.
I'm genX and have never been on a date, living in a alcohol based culture doesn't help when I don't drink. Also finding out I'm autistic at 40 makes sense, I pick up on hints years after they happen.
Oof... autism diagnosis at 40? I'm sorry.
im 24 and I think I have Aspergers
@@crazysilly2914I’m also 24 and I do have Aspergers 😮
@@joress girl or guy?
The segway into the sponsorship takes me by surprise so many times with your videos lolol
I feel like another part of it is that so much of what used to be normal natural RESPECTFUL flirtatious behavior has been deemed sexually aggressive and inappropriate. Boys have been discouraged from acting like boys and girls have been discouraged from acting like girls, so kids question and doubt their instincts and don't know what to do.
Very true :/
I think it has a lot to do with all of the sexual confusion in our culture. You can’t act like a boy or girl if no one knows what they are. I think if people understand themselves in orientation to God, they can actually live as they are meant to.
I was born in 80. Compared to the Z’s, I’m old. Don’t tell me that I don’t know what you are going through, I was born during the shift and watched it happen. This is the kind of crap that happens when schools, government and industry push parents down and claim status for raising the youth. These entities have slowly, generation at a time, been slowly creating a massive divide between child and parent. You might as well be test tube babies at this point
Yowza! Ouch! So true though…. Gen Alpha still has it worse
You don't get it. You might've seen the shift but can't understand what it's like.
@@ETEcco you are full of sh8t
@@paola9615 you all are acting like weak azz victims. knock it off. the only disadvantage you have now, if you live in the US is that the feminist movement has warped everyones minds and pulled the law to much in their favor. there is little value and a lot of risk for men to pursue a women at this point. women will now have to get off their azzez and make the move, but the pride and vanity gets in the way.
@@ETEcco v
Even some churches have a warped sense of what dating should be. Personally I don't want to marry someone that has dated frequently and often. I don't want to have to sort through all the psychological peer pressure that they've picked up along the way. Plus it gives someone the impression that relationships have no real value and can be changed like you change your underwear. But then again maybe I'm the only one that sees that as one of the fundamental issues plaguing society today.
Dating would be easy if it was just about finding a partner. Dating stop being about marriage, and became away to get sex. Like trying on shoes. Bagging the high status males who play the field and then wondering why they could get one to commit. 20 years goes by, and lotta baby mommas, lotta baby daddies, and no whole families in sight. Then the justifications and coping of single mothers and deadbeat dads. When I heard a girl say she eas looking to hook up with a random guy to get pregnant, because she felt lonely. I sighed. Women destroyed commitment with casual dating. Guys are the gas pedal, and feminism cut the brakes. It's not that they don't know how to date, they are told things that make dating impossible for decades, and were told to just blame the guy if it went wrong.
If you were dating with the purpose of finding a spouse, and waited for sex till you found said spouse, dating would not be complicated. It simple, most men don't wife up when society has made it so easy f around. They really don't wife up when that can land him divorced, penniless, and paying for another man to raise his kids.
bring back arranged marriages
…or, in my case, a 24 year old virgin since I am too scared to even do a hookup! Because with the metoo movement, even a casual hookup can be risky for a mid-level guy like me….
EVERY SINGLE problem in modern American society can trace it’s way back to promis cuity. When kids see their parents getting divorced all the time and then re-marrying other people, it puts in their minds that it is OK to have multiple intimate partners. And then they go on to have many different partners. And then they pass on these same ideals to their own kids. They get burned out by it, but don’t know the reason why, because they were never taught religious values. And so they become very bitter, and turn to feminism and socialism, and demand that the state take care of all their problems. And then, because they get bored with regular jiggy-jiggy, because they have done regular jiggy-jiggy so much, they then turn to ‘unusual' jiggy-jiggy that a certain prideful community promotes. And then you end up with this modern ‘liberal’ hells cape we are in ….
@@crazysilly2914 I'm not saying never have sex, but take responsibility if that ends in a child.
@@BS-hammer honestly, I am too scared to have sxxxxx, because what if I make her uncomfortable in some way, and she goes to the police…?
I would only have sxxxx with someone I would have already known for at least a year, and seen with my own eyes that she was somebody to be trusted...
If I had to guess, something that might be playing a huge factor is the amount of people entering dating pools from broken single family homes. Growing up seeing a parent with multiple dating partners, bad mouthing the other parent, or not seeing your mom or dad treated in a way that is happy can really set the tone for if they can't find it how can I. Depression resonates within a household from the top down and not having a good example going into something can really stunt your approach. Not everyone of course but throwing that out there.
I'm 30 years old and I never date or never been in a relationship. We need relationship classes for young adults too. The thing is, this isnt a gen z issue. People that are 30 and under 30 never had experiences yet. We fear rejection too
Never clicked on a video so fast
I wonder why I'm single, but I remind myself when I look at a mirror.
My boy. Eat healthy, workout, buy normal boring looking clothes and that is it, you already look much better
@@kingofmontechristo That is what I do 50% of the week
@@gorillaguy9039 if you are lean (lower than 12% bodyfat) then I have difficulties believing that you are not at least a 5/10
Been single 2 decades now so now can talk a bit . I now know why I’m single simple fact I out lived 3 partners .
You have a habit of choosing unhealthy women (or, something malignant is at work).
This is what I've been looking for and trying to do:
1. See if you like each other/enjoy spending time with each other (2-4 dates)
2. Sit down and hammer out the non negotiables (religion/family/marriage)
3. Decide if you want to pursue a relationship with each other
4. Spend lots of quality time with each other (This is the 'dating' process)
5. Get married
Great system
Women realize that after they turn 30
I wonder why after decades of promiscuity, suddenly they become so wise
@@kingofmontechristo decades…? once they turn 30…? So by ‘decades’ you imply at least 2 decades, so if they are thirty, then starting their promiscuity at 10 years old?!?
…actually…nowadays, I wouldn’t be surprised at 10 year olds being promiscuous...
@@crazysilly2914 obviously , that was not the point.... Especially nowadays there are many women who lose their virginity before age 15.
@@kingofmontechristo yEP! And thats why there are so many PDF files nowadays. Because they say “13 year olds are already having jiggy , so why can’t I have jiggy with them??
Here’s the basic gist: if a woman likes you, she will make it patently obvious. She will twirl her hair, laugh, make eye contact, smile, and become excited more so than usual in your presence. All you have to do is initiate conversation, make her laugh, get her to talk about herself, and then ask her if she would like to get coffee sometime. If and only if she says yes, then you make a plan and execute it. Then, when you go on the date, and provided that she actually appears, you meet with her, hold the door for her, order coffee, pull out her chair, and then sit and chat about various topics. It is your chance to get to know her, so ask her questions, and get her to talk about herself. If she asks you questions, respond in kind. If you both can carry a conversation, and if you both feel connected on a bio-molecular level, then presto! You have completed the first date. After that, ask her if she would like to “do this again sometime.” If yes, then repeat the same steps again until you go on your fifth date, and then ask if she would like to be your girlfriend, provided that everything goes well and she doesn’t flake out on you or becomes rude or something like that. If she says yes at that point, then presto! You have a girlfriend. After that, just maintain commitment, and if there are no red flags, you’re golden. The long-term stuff like courtship proper, betrothal, and marriage, however, will depend on how you guys adapt throughout life, but that is the simple truth of how you get a girlfriend. There you go. That’s dating in a nutshell. You’re welcome.
This is so true and you have done a service by sharing.
lmao ok boomer
Yup. This travesty of a “class” wouldn’t exist if people learned how to go out and talk to each other. Just saying.
When I was in high school, a kid in my class asked if we could have a "love class" as a joke. I never thought this would actually be a thing...
This was so informative and entertaining, thank you!
I'm single because there's no way in hell I'll ever trust women my age.
Every single one I've ever met is obsessed with either their pathetic little conveniences, or external validation in a relationship.
Then, date older.
@@DDD11239 no, I'd rather stay single than date anyone older than me.
@@gruntgamer4204 you are either too young or mentally ill.
I assume it is the first one. My advice in that situation. Hit it and quit it. That's fun.
Your mindset is why you’re single lol. Stay single then
Im 30 and I have no idea how to start dating, i despise dating apps they did not work for me at all
I cant imagine trying to date in this day in age. Im 22 and happily married, but cant even fathom how I'd get into the dating pool if I was single. My husband and I were coworkers and friends, and just happened to develop feelings. We didn't set out to date. We are very blessed and thankful, but realize that that doesn't happen very often for many these days.
Can't believe how good this was, well done!
I just turned 33. my father died to cancer. i have been single for over 9 years. My last relationship the girl cheated on me. I am a Christian nerd with six figure salary. play volleyball, bought my dream car Ftype, work from home, but on the handsome scale im a 5 or 6 so no matter what i can't get a christian girl cuz they are picky asf. its happened at least 20 times now i get a number and then get rejected either right away or after weeks or months of texting. It sucks. Dating apps I message 100 girls and ill get maybe one reply. Most of the messages i get are bots. The older i get the more bitter i get and lonely. I dont know what to do anymore. Being a christian looking for a christian makes dating 100x worse because the pool of women is so small
What denomination are you?
@@Tzarina8472 non denominational but maybe close to Baptist/ evangelical
say the prayer to summon an angel. Ask that the angel give you a pure, dedicated djinn/shedim/spirit girl, if it is acceptable to do so...
I've thought a lot about this, too. I'm 35, so only a couple years ahead of you. My father died to cancer when I was 28, so you have my deepest, heartfelt sympathies. Yes, being a Christian does make things harder.
Have you considered looking overseas in the Philippines? They are a largely Christian nation, with women who LOVE American men, especially traditional American men. I'm not very good looking by any stretch of the word (and 5' 7''), and I was flooded with messages from real women within an hour of making my profile (literally got over 100 messages in the first day; had to hide my profile after day 4 because I was up to 400+) And most of them are skinny, feminine, and sweet (not to mention hot). I'm looking for a job that gives me flexibility so I can go over there, but since you work from home already, this is a good option for you. Give it some thought, brother. You're not ugly. You may just be fishing in the wrong pond.
STOP texting.... you're probably coming off as being too available with time on your hands/have no life.....only date sun signs/zodiac signs that are compatible with your own sign! Try it. Can't hurt!
Feminism was the first domino
Third and fourth-wave Feminism has turned women delusional.
I was 8 when my parents got divorced in the 1970's. They called it "no fault divorce" Even at that age, I knew that was a dumb idea. Thank the Boomers.
@@Omnitrickster0207 My comment was deleted AGAIN!! 😡🤬🤬🤬
12:23 ayo Mormon school callout lets go
How about a BYO date? Bring something from home you’d like to share (maybe a book swap or board games you’d like to play on the date), bring food either you cooked or that you had on hand that you didn’t specifically buy just for the date, and find a good picnicky spot either in a park with benches/tables or a spot to set out a big blanket and just enjoy the time together discussing the things you brought to share or play the games you brought. Some of my favorite outings with my husband have been “dates” like this. Sometimes we’ll grab a pizza to go and do this but the idea is the same.