Why Won’t Guys Wife Her Up?
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Today, we're checking out a video posted by a female fitness influencer who claims that she recently realized men don't like muscular, physically strong women. This raises the question: Can you be a strong woman and still embrace femininity? Let's discuss it.
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All women need to remember or relearn this : your femininity is your greatest strength, not a weakness.
I think plenty of women in this generation will eventually despise these last few. Sold a bad bill of goods. It's been such inconsistent advice that only serves to make women look good and appeal to their inner vanity, not actual good advice for their life. Those older feminists are trying to justify their choices that are TOO LATE to correct, so they manage and rationalize their choices that's just being human, yet not someone giving constructive advice. And also those previous generations had far more of a "grab-bag" of feminism where they could pick what parts suited them, and ignore the rest. This generation merely watched that farce and are true-blue believers. Why wouldn't they?
They turn femininity into toxic femininity.
Preach!
Accept in sport.
It’s the only strength men naturally do not have
I love your closing statement, “femininity is not a weakness”. Such an important thing for women to know.
Femininity is not a weakness. It’s a power. My husband never brings me a bottle of water without loosing up the cap first. I couldn’t even train him to do it even if I wanted to. He’s just used to open all the bottles and jars for me 😂
@@A-broken-clay-jarawe so cute! I love it 😂
Well, it is "physical" weakness and submissiveness to masculinity, but it's not weakness per se. It is strength in the things that masculinity is weak in, such as nurturing children, caring for the wounded - a woman's touch means the world to a wounded soldier, building a nest (organizing a household), laying eggs (having and raising kids to be successful adults).
Masculinity is for building the world, fighting evil, defending the innocent.
Femininity is for bringing the next generation into the world, caring for the innocent, nurturing the injured back to health so they can go out and build the world, fight evil, and defend the innocent.
@xokelis0015 Could we understand from your point of view that women can't build the world just as men do ? Because women now work (and then contribute to society), have big responsibilities, make decisions (sometimes wiser according to certain studies - "men make more extreme decisions according to Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America (PNAS)"). Men and women build society together and that's why in my opinion we shouldn't give feminity and masculinity references just as you did. My opinion.
@@laurananas2424 Go back to the comment in the video about the mind / mouth saying one thing and biology something different. As Brett put it, "biology hasn't caught up yet". Let's take your comment, which at some level makes perfect sense - men and women now work in the workplace together and both contribute to society. That doesn't change the biologically engrained preferences that men and women have when they are looking for a partner / mate.
It doesn't matter whether or not women can or cannot build the world just as men do, overall, men are going to prefer a female who is feminine and loyal, someone they feel they can trust, and women are looking for a man who is confident, can take care of them and a leader. Yes, we now live in cities and work together at offices, but we are still locked into the same mindset that we had for thousands of years when we were part of wandering tribes, where the men went out to hunt for game and the women worked at the camp, taking care of the children and handling the social part of society.
I went to university with a very fit girl, as in hardcore six-pack, muscled arms and legs. She trained as a bodybuilder because she wanted to be the best in cheerleading. But while her body was totally trained, she still kept her femininity, loved wearing dresses, makeup and was just a sweet woman.
It's about the personality
Did she have tattoos all over her and (as Vincent Vega said) "all that $#it in her face?"
Did she have a nosering and an impulse purchase tattoo of the word 'serenity' on her neck? 😂
ywa chances are if she was a cheerleader she wasn’t bodybuilding like this chick. There is a difference between been fit and super muscular and being jacked. That girl was super fit and muscular but not jacked. The rock is jacked this girl is jakced.
Training as a bodybuilder to be a cheerleader? These things can't go together. They're very different skills and workout regimines.
@@dmdudes2 Why blaming her for looking after herself? Probably more fit than you are.
The fact that she is genuine takes responsibility for herself I got mad respect for her.
The fact that she's aware of all this is a good sign. She genuinely seems sweet and I hope she finds what she wants in life.
Her other TikTok’s are about how aggressive she is
Only time will tell.
What seems "sweet" about her? Liking married men? Belittling feminine women? Belittling the men that come up to her and show interest? Oh wait, her talking about anger issues is like honey in a nice warm cozy glass of tea, right?
maybe she should start dating women, since so many ppl keep saying sexuality is a choice amirite?
her cats will love her in life
There's nothing wrong with her. The fact that she came to this realization on her own is impressive and a sign that maybe she can still meet the right guy.
Yup
It's not impressive, the bar is just extremely low.
I don't disagree, but I wonder if the "right guy" is among the men she wants.
She’s a man in a female skin suit and she’s been run through to the point she cannot pair bond, if you want her that says a lot about you guys.
@@InimitaPaul- 💯. These guys are lost.
My mom was a tomboy 100%. feed the chickens, hunt deer, built a shed. She was also painted her nails, wore pretty dresses and makeup.
Sounds like a cool mom.
sounds like me XD
You can't do that!! I'm calling the police!!
Avoid painted nails, makeup
That's not a tomboy 1st off that is what you call a little girl that likes to do things that boys do
I hate social media so much
Who doesn't
I became a widower 14 years ago and I've been running scared ever since. I have had many women trying to tie me into a relationship but they push too hard. My wife and I had a good marriage . She ran and was in charge in the house I looked after the outside. Major decisions were discussed them depending on the situation either I made the decision or she made the decision. Worked well for us. 34 years of marriage before Cancer won
I'm so sorry for your loss. She sounds wonderful. I hope you find peace and happiness in time. God bless you.
Here's my advice to you about dating: Don't.
@@electroeel148 he is probably too old for dating anyway😅
My grandpa is 95 and at is in a home and has had 3 different girlfriends in the last 2 years @gwynplaine661
assuming he got married at the legal age of 18, he is at minimum 66 years old, I'd agree with you @@gwynplaine661
As a guy, I felt no negative emotions toward her, didn't see anything wrong with her sharing her epiphany, and yet somehow knew she was gonna get a lot of nasty comments from guys. This gender war is stupid, everyone keeps looking for reasons to hate. I hope she finds what she's looking for.
100% agree
Finds what she is looking for??? Where's all the men???
They were not hating on her just being honest. Gender war or not the comments would have been the same.
Men have NEVER told women they like septum piercings or tattoos.@@yamalortiz5152
Her problem is that she has spent her life thinking only of herself, and now that reality has caught up with her she's still blaming anyone but herself. She might be a nice person but you can't tell by one video.
My girlfriend when we first met was trying so hard not to look or sound like a tomboy. She was raised mostly by her father and was treated more like a son/younger brother where they would roughhouse. Being her first relationship, she attributes her new found feminine qualities to me treating her like a woman and from what I can tell she enjoys it. I love her and am blessed to see her grow and blossom into a beautiful feminine woman while still having a little tomboy charm.
Her on the first date (tradwife cottage-core) vs Her once you get to know her (reveals giant gun collection)
I read an article once that said that tomboys often make the best wives / girlfriends because they have spent so much time around males that they understand them and how they think. I have always been a little amazed that boys and girls can grow up around each other, interact in school and in society, yet be so clueless about the other sex when they start noticing each other sexually. This is less of a problem for tomboys.
@stephanledford9792 Honestly, if by school you mean public or private mass schooling, it's really not a surprise. How are you going to socialize children if they're constantly surrounded by 50 other unsocialized children and 1 adult? That's not how socialization works.
My partner is also a big tomboy, though she never tried to hide it. She definitely has become more outwardly feminine through the years, but it's still very obvious she was the youngest raised by three older brothers, while I was raised largely by my older sister. She loves toilet humor. I tolerate it, but I do not see the humor (or disgust) in it. Everybody poops, its just a thing that animals do. Little stuff like that.
She's also an Amazonian woman. 5'9/5'10ish, 185lbs, with a decent bit of a six pack most of the year (we both get soft in the winter). When we first got together, I was actually shorter than she was (got taller on HRT), but she loved the fact I could pick her up, toss her around, and manhandle her (I'm not tall but I'm built like a brick shithouse and have been a competitive weightlifter on and off most of my life). We've found a very nice balance and dynamic where each of us gets to be who and what they're best at in the relationship.
Men only want one thing...
All women need to understand STOP GETTING ADVICE ON MEN FROM OTHER WOMEN. Thats like me a dude giving a woman advice on being pregnant. It’s ridiculous.
True. The best advice on men I got it from my dad.
Yes stop getting advice on dating from Andrew tate !
IS HE A WOMAN ?
It is not getting advice from women that is the problem, it is advice from single women that is the problem. They are single for a reason and can’t give advice that will help women find their man, for they have no idea of what it truly takes. It is like getting financial advice from someone who has massive debts and no way to get out of debt.
@@johnhumphrey9953 True.
There is absolutely a man out there for her. She's not "un-feminine" simply because she lifts... this obviously shows that she's motivated and dedicated to take care of herself. Sure, she's more buff, but she's still beautiful! Imagine her meeting a gym dude = power couple who motivate, encourage, and support each other 💪🏻
Yeah, this is similar to the Dadvocate's take on this. There is totally a man out there for her, she can tone it down by dialing back the piercings, tweaking the clothes a bit. Her biggest attribute at this point, she is self-aware. Makes her better than 60-70% of american women?
She needs to lose the hog ring
I dated a kick-boxer. Being into fitness doesn't make you unfeminine. Muscle Mommys are a thing, and hot af. And being dedicated and motivated are a turn on to see someone committed to a goal.
The issues from training for strength and aggression may cause dramas, however. We had some blues where she threatened certain things, many false, some violent, because there are behavioral changes from testosterone (as well as other psychological issues she had), but at the time I was fairly buff myself. I don't think that was from her training as she wasn't on roids or anything, but just due to her personal issues and divorce.
Luckily for both of us she never crossed THAT line there (she did others and that's why we eventually separated). Was close a few times though. I was 4 inches taller than her and pretty capable myself, had been hitting the gym pretty hard after a 10 year relationship. It didn't mean that she didn't have the capability to hurt me, as her combat training was at a bit higher level than mine. But with a 15 kilo weight advantage and the muscles of a gym fit man it certainly was enough for her to reassess the risk.
Honestly it would have been like watching an MMA kickboxer versus wrestler. Although I had done some go ju kai, tae kwon do, wrestling and boxing, her strike game was much superior to mine. But pure strength wise she had zero chance against me.
TL;DR girls can hurt guys but they really shouldn't try. Dudes shouldn't try to hurt girls. Problem solved.
@@justinbruck9602 honestly the piercings, the muscles, there's a market. She could try and feminize that or go full gym mode power couple and the odds at this stage are probably 50/50 as to success rate...
But the real question here is what does she feel she wants to be?
We don't know her gym motivations. We don't know her dating motivations. We don't know her goals.
She might have hit the gym hard due to weight loss goals, or to deal with depression, or recover from injury. Or as a distraction from separation. Or to break another addiction.
She's a good base. She can be lots of things from here. But rather than us project on her we really need her to make those choices.
@@AndyViant she was on the roids?
Just a few minutes in, she seems great and just unfortunetly lumped in with the 'boss babe' stereotype. I didnt get any red flags from her. Culture's lied about what a lot of men want, but she also seems fun, responsible, and takes care of her health. She's not blaming people, just realizing she's been lied to. Maybe more of a tomboy, but there's nothing wrong with that. I hope she finds her person soon 😊
When you get the "nice" clip of the full video, yeah I guess she seems nice.
She was on the Whatever podcast and was super sweet and mild mannered.
The red flag is she didn’t realize this beforehand as an adult.
@@boxtradums0073which episode? I wanna watch it
@@willdegra317 You don't know what "red flag" means.
At least this woman has taken the time for self reflection, something that 90% of people won't do.
She forgot to mention her body of 28
Its not the muscles that are a problem.......its the attitude
and coveted in tattoos
She is sweet
And the nose ring
My wife has tattoos. Personality is everything. Before I met my wife I had given up on relationships. The only reason I gave my wife a chance was because she found a way to separate herself from all of the other women. When I gave her a chance she took it and kept showing that she wanted this to work out despite our fights and flaws. Every other woman I dated gave up the second something went wrong. Sell your personality not your physique.
Sell purity. It is a lottery ticket to marriage. Give it up, never a good reason to. Never heard one.
You are abusing her.
RIGHT? brett is saying bullshit like YOUR WIFE IS WRONG. its pathetic. i hate what a terrible person brett has become
@spicycrispyfetus where in the world did you get that from his comment? Was it because of fights and flaws? Those are relationship inevitables. Other than that, there is nothing even remotely negative.
@@TruckerWife You must be a woman abuser too.
This conversation is not a new one. It has only been amplified and spotlighted by the ease and access of social media. Years ago, when I was in my 20's, I worked with several 'party girls'. As I got to know them I realized that they wanted stability and even tradition in their lives as it pertained to the men they knew, and the relationships they were in and out of, yet were seen as just one of the guys. They competed on every level, whether it be drinking games and partying or telling rude jokes, whatever, and that was besides the competition doing actual work in the workplace. I remember one girl's brain exploding when I told her that she would always find men to have fun with, as she was hot, intelligent and had a great personality. But guys saw her as another guy friend, a buddy, someone to have fun with and not a serious contender for 'wife' material, or even anything long term. Every guy I've known, including my five brothers and myself included don't want just another buddy. We have those already. They want the uniqueness of a female--feminine, soft and sweet. Child bearing hips and a talent in the kitchen help too :) I understand how this sounds, however men care less and less about the current agenda. They just want their women back--not servants. Equal but uniquely different partners, to lean on us as we lean on you.
I think it's hard for a lot of women to accept because the female role is a lot more limiting and infantilizing at times. There's a reason why feminism happened, but men never created a similar movement to take on more of the female role at home.
@@janicefinch3563 Yeah but I know plenty of girls who are in IT or Software engineering and a lot of them are quite feminine. My one friend is like the stereotypical hello kitty girl. You can be the "boss bitch" in that you are successful, but just be feminine. Bring feminine energy. Doesn't mean you can't enjoy the modern paradigm where women can have fruitful careers. It's really that simple.
@@janicefinch3563”limiting and infantilizing” were part of the propaganda. If we think back to the powerful grandmas of our past, they are impressive and strong matriarchs that we all wanna be. Not some pathetic poor woman. Women were respected. Men didn’t even swear in our presence.
The fact that this is a controversial statement is concerning. Everything you said is natural. And nature designed us that way. Not our fault that some people want to be weird with gender norms. Just because some, doesn't mean all.
@@hobosnake1 There's no feminine energy, it's a made up concept
She’s going to be just fine. She’s genuine, sweet, quirky, and a total cutie pie, and she’s definitely not some disagreeable bosslady. There’s plenty of guys out there that would love to be with a woman like her.
“ cutiepie “ Simp off!..🤮🤦♂️🤡
@@thrusta100 " simp off " melatonin harpsichord 👔🔇
Cutie pie indeed 🎩 the tattoos and biceps are cool too.
She's hot. But she would never date a stereotype like myself (gamer, nerd, bookworm) so sorry, women do want the bad boys. We are the safe choice after you tempt with fire.
Self awareness is a big and rare start. She can take the nose ring out and fix herself up and she'll be fine.
One problem is that all those tattoos make a statement. And that statement is the emulation of the strong feminist that came before her and marketed that “look”. She may be a super nice girl whom likes to work out. But she has emulated a biker chick or man hater feminist, but put on a dress and did her hair nice.
The contradiction is a red flag.
Also I think she has made herself appealing to the fully tattooed crowd and in doing so has removed her appeal from the more traditional clean or tattooed free crowed.
More traditional men whom want to get married look for more traditional women, tattoo free, smoke free.
We men are usually oblivious, but those stand out.
Your looking too deep into it.
100% agree. I am personally against tattoos and piercings, I don't have them and I don't want my girl to have them. But women working out or even very muscular women are definitely not a turn off, quite the opposite actually. I'd rather my girl look like a she-hulk than overweight or anorexic. Taking care of yourself is attractive, eating right, moving right, and doing right by yourself for your own well-being.
Really? You are more turned on by a rippled bicep than a bouncing booty?
Shehulk from the comics is pretty attractive
Full agreeance. Being in shape: thumbs up. Tats and piercings: thumbs down.
It is such a ridiculous thing when you think about how people change over the years. These people will look so ridiculous later
😂😂😂
“You can be a strong woman and still be feminine.” This was a game changer for me, too. I would put down pink and bows and sparkly things as girly and weak, thinking it made me better. But one day I realized the beauty of being a female is that you can be strong AND beautiful, and the two aren’t opposites. That’s why I don’t get people who drag on girls who lift weights or do sports, like the girl in this video, as something that is anti-feminine or “bad woman.” I think girls who take the time to make themselves strong are really cool, especially because a lot of people tell them they shouldn’t be. Every practical reason to lift weights and be in good health applies to both sexes. I hope girls aren’t turned off by online men telling them to be physically weak so someone will love them. (P.S. being able to push open heavy doors and give strong hugs is an underrated ability of life.🙂)
thank you for stating the obvious
Indeed. Some of these modern traditional people don't seem to realize that women used to protect the home when the men were not around.
I do agree that giving strong, well given hugs is a totally underrated skill
A few years ago I made a conscious decision to give strong hugs. Now every time I hug my grandma, she says, "Not too hard." Everyone likes it, though. Definitely underrated.
@@lucymolockian1849That's a lie
For years my daughter was attracted to a certain type of guy, that always led to her eventually being treated badly. She decided to try dating someone different than her usual type, and so far she has had a much better experience. So, my advice to ladies who keep ending up with the wrong guy, is try changing things up. Try something different!
Thanks for the tip!!
it's all about leverage....a women or a man who's too hot and got nor moral compass is bound to abuse their power.
@@sumomaster5585 same with a man or woman who is too ugly. Inferiority is a hell of a thing to deal with. Honestly the attraction and trust should be mutual. I am as attracted to my husband as he is to me, there’s no “but they have such a great personality” or “but they’re so hot so whatever is fine” toxicity. Just butterflies and flirting, 8 years later as it should be.
Always ask yourself, “would I want this person to be the future Father/Mother of my children?”
If not, don’t even bother.
@deejawhitegrass that is exactly what I say is the problem. People are only told to live in the moment, and hold everything serious for their 30s, so they look for that short term happy fun time and then are shocked when the person isn't what they will need later.
The nose ring. It's the nose ring.
Other than appearance wise (tattoos and piercing), I think her demeanor, as well as her humility makes her a lot more wifeable than she realizes. She's not too far off. PS. it's also not because she goes to the gym, nothing wrong with that
Exercise is a green flag
I agree, she seems like a sweet girl.
Nothing wrong with tattoos and piercings. Grow up.
I'd totally marry her. She mentioned sushi and iced tea after the gym. Just my type. Too bad the piercings kill it for me. Her tats aren't so bad though and that's coming from someone who hates tattoos.
She'd be pretty close to my dreamwife TBH. Looks, smile, her attitude, she seems a bit weird. Yea sign me up lol.
Wow Brett. You put into words exactly what I’ve felt for most of my teen years up until the last year or two (I’m 23). It was a defense mechanism. I remember being a tomboy and hating anything “girly”/feminine in my early teens because I saw it as a weakness. A weakness I needed to protect myself from. It’s so refreshing hearing another woman that felt the same as me but now holds new ideas as I’m breaking out of that old mindset. Haven’t heard anyone else bring up this perspective, thank you!
There is huge misunderstanding between Tomboy and Masculine women. A tomboy is basically a women likes boyish hobbies, do boy things and understand the boy's mindset. A masculine women dont understand a man, their hobbies and would constantly be in their own mindset instead of looking through the perspective of a man. I mean look at Brett Cooper's mom telling her light up and still can be herself while understand and be both side of feminine and masculine.
What's crazy is we guys have been telling women what it is we look for, but they take offense and instead ask OTHER WOMEN what guys want. Crazy how things work out like that
Women Logic brotha, makes no sense
Women give out dog shit advice
They're good at convincing each other that strong emotion = true. "You're beautyfulllll!!!!"
Yup, I find women give other women very poor dating advice and tell them lies to not hurt their feelings rather than speaking truth to improve themselves.
ex) Girl went through a bad breakup, girlfriends would just tell her to go to the club to tonight and relax, with men who are likely not relationship material, and would probably break her heart again.
Also if a girl is overweight, the girlfriends would just say , “Love your curves girl” instead of being honest and say you should cut your calories and hit the gym. Men have no issues telling other men exactly that.
@@mikeymyke If you want to help others, tell them the truth. If you want to help yourself, tell them what they want to hear. - Thomas Sowell
You had an awesome Mom.. Period. Full stop.. Great episode 👏
When you described how you were in high school, about how you dressed and presented yourself to the world. It sounded exactly like me in high school as well. Wore my 'masculine' traits as a badge of honor like you said. Now 10 years off I've fully embraced my feminine side, now have 3 kids with my husband. He helped me realize it was ok to be soft and feminine. Didnt make me weak or less than to want those things I denied in myself since I was a kid.
Me too.
Honestly, she seems like a nice person. To even be able to put all that mainstream brainwashing aside and have the ability to self-reflect honestly is SO rare nowadays. Good on her. I pray she finds a wonderful husband soon!
The problem is her deluded standards
@@lifemocker85and how do you know her standards?
@@helenn7738 she say she goes only for married men so we know she only see the top% of men
@@helenn7738 --- he is referring to the standards she made clear in the clip? She thought the standard to "catch a man of her liking" was to get ripped, pierced, tatted and un-feminine ... and that got her nowhere.
@@barkvarkie_fpv8623 she doesn't even come off as manly. Wdym?
Just one more thing: Listening to Brett talk about how she grew up and what she tried to do to avoid looking "girly," it's a good thing she didn't go to a woke therapist who might have told her that all those things were a coping mechanism for gender dysphoria.
Your comment should be marked "unnecessary" as it adds nothing.
@@daTribbleMaker wrong!
They have a point, too many “therapists” are convincing impressionable youths that they are Trans, at a time in their lives where they are still coming to terms as to what they are.
@@daTribbleMaker It adds plenty, you're just a dimwit.
@@daTribbleMakerd-did you write this for yourself somehow?
@@daTribbleMakerand you should take your medication and move out of yoyr mothers basement.
We had all of these women calling masculinity toxic, while trying to become masculine. Talking about toxic locker room talk of men, while saying WAP is female empowerment. Saying that giving away one of the things that is most valuable and intimate for a person to give, for free, is female empowerment.
That’s what happens when you look at the world in terms of halve and have nots.
You get jealous and bitter and envious and quite frankly, increasingly narcissistic.
I’ve seen this happen to both men and women, but it seems like women are particularly struggling with it over the last 10 years.
Bouncing from one relationship to the next downhill thinking that over each next fence the grass is going to get greener, accumulating trauma at many times like a boxer getting punch drunk overtime.
Life is about moderation for a great many things. People will try and convince you that you should want to be at the extremes, but you will probably probably be the happiest in the middle of the bell curves.
You don’t wanna be too manic, you don’t wanna be too stoic. You don’t wanna be too skinny, you don’t wanna be too large. Don’t want to be weak, but you don’t want to hyper fixate on being strong it just envelop your life. You don’t want the opposite side of the dating pool, but you also want to be respected and equivocal.
I think women are particularly competitive, especially amongst themselves. And it’s funny because if you get 10 women in a circle, they’ll rate each other 10s. They absolutely have thoughts and are communicating things in between and use as a phantom boogie strawman. When it’s a man that they ultimately usually want.
You’re competing against those women for men you’re not competing against that many men, for men. It’s baked into our biology.
This problem is not exclusive to women, but women seem to be increasingly fed these messages of entitlement that are cast against the truth of reality.
You can find whatever you want to hear or see especially since other people are incentivized to get your attention. So naturally, people gravitate towards things that they want to hear and people gravitate towards saying the things that other people want to hear. Gets paid, other gets justified. Or maybe it’s a mutual exchange of feeling justified.
Meanwhile, women are succeeding where those people are finding cyclic echo chambers or cyclic para-social affirmation for their life choices. And the world is going to weed this kind of behavior out, ultimately, by punishing these choices more often than not. And it’s not in ways that people see coming. And then, when they figure it out, they tell perpetual lies to themselves so as to not be at odds with all of their sunk cost.
I don’t really care what the women that I don’t invest into do. They can have their wine parties, and they can go, and they can go sleep around and they can go do whatever.
I rewarded the kind of woman like my wife herself to a different standard and sought someone out who had a better standard, as well.
I think a lot of the time when women communicate, they are looking to feel affirmed and justified for the feelings that they have and are communicating. The problem is is when you take men out of those conversations, you’re only going to have echo chambers of lies or partial truths at best. Nobody’s going to hold you accountable and you’re the one who’s going to ultimately suffer.
Like skinny women telling their friends that they should eat whatever they want to because of body positivity… Well, now those people are less likely to be compete with other women and men. Or women telling each other that sleeping around as empowerment. That person Also has lost comparative value in the marriage pool.
And people get confused because they think that they can hook up - Guys have learned to avoid women who give that away too easily because if it’s given so easily and to so many, what does it mean that they give it to them number one and how do they know that they’re not going to just keep being that way if they’re given a chance? How do they know there’s not some psycho that’s going to show up?
Hey Brett, I discovered your channel a few months ago and I want to tell you how much you've influenced me for good. I'm a very masculine, tomboy girl like yourself and your description of your teenage years hanging with the boys and rejecting anything feminine sounds exactly like my last 4-5 years. Watching you gives me a lot of hope for my future and I want to say thank you for being an amazing female and Christian example.
Also, just know that most of this is having to do with the energy you put out and how you present yourself. If you're into traditionally male hobbies like gaming, computers, sports, welding for all I care, that's completely fine. Or if you want to be career-focused. That's all good with me personally. It's more just: Don't dress like a man and don't try to overpower me or lead in the relationship. Say important stuff and call me out on my crap, but don't try to take the reigns.
I was also a tomboy and I later found a husband (later than age 25, and he balances me out. I’m more sporty and lead my kids in sports, he’s more musical. It’s fine! Also, he finds nice clothes for me that are often more “dressy” than I would choose, but he wants me to look softer I’m sure. So while I do live in sportswear most of the time, on date nights I will dress up, look nice and put on high heels. It’s okay. Men and women can both share in feminine and masculine traits.)
I was not really femenine either, i had no boyfriend until I realized I really wanted to be femenine and I started healing my relationship with my femininity... changed everything, I'm in a longterm relationship with an amazing guy. I want to get married and have children. (Some of my relatives are feminist so I grew up thinking it was bad to be femenine) I was no feeling good with myself until my healing process started. Now i really feel like myself. It was a constant inner fight before, I was not happy at all.
Im 14 and what you said about how you were in high school sounds similar to my current situation. I sometimes try my hardest not to embrace my feminity because I think its a weakness. After seeing this and the short to this video it had really opened my eyes. Ive been trying my hardest lately to really put more effort into my appearance and to wear feminine things like earrings, perfume, lip gloss, necklaces, etc. Being raised by a single mom and not having a male role model in the house, we had to do a lot of things ourselves. Im really trying to find that balance and its still a work in progress. Thank you Brett! God bless!❤
Thats really interesting, thanks for sharing your opinion, you do you, stay safe girl.
If you want to know any advice about life, ask your mother and not follow current social media. She knows what will be the best for you. I wish you the best.
no need for perfume, necklaces.. be naturally feminine. Long hair is the key. Everything else like building up leg muscles and a nice butt is a nice bonus tho. But regardless of how you are, men cant control or subjugate women no more which means relationships will end.............issues that in the world of islam they don't have.
Feminity is one of the most powerful trait a woman can have, if not the most powerful.
Bindi Marc and Jasmine Theodora are great examples of femininity!!
I commented this on another video showing this lady. She's beautiful and there will be a lot of men out there that would snap her up. Her problem is that she's not been herself, she's tried to be something she's not so she's not attracting the right men for her she's attracting the right men for the person she's trying to be. If you want to find the right person for you then you need to be you so that that person can be attracted to you. She could have met the right man and he might have passed her by and paid her no attention because he doesn't like tattoos and peircings and if she wouldn't have done that to herself trying to make herself something she isn't then he wouldn't have passed her by. I'm not saying tattoos and peircings are bad I have them myself but I have them because I like them and I want a man that likes me for me. I am being me so if a man doesn't like me then he's not right for me but if I got tattoos and piercings just because I was following a trend or to rebel against my parents and then I met someone I really liked and he didn't like me because I had tattoos and peircings then ye I would be a bit angry with myself for not just being myself lol.
Her muscle isn't an issue for me. My wife has given me children and can still do more pull-ups than most men. We met in the gym and it's how we spend a lot of our time together. It's not threatening. She's just in a dating pool that is very small.
I Love that Brett Cooper talked about her younger years. The tomboy defense mechanism was what I went through and its so nice to know other women might have gone through that. 💖 I didnt embrace my feminine energy until I went to college in my early 20s. Women become more hardened and masculine sometimes out of self protection. I would love a world where we can enjoy our feminine energy safely.
Lol Bradley Cooper?
@@sawyerleemoore Brett cooper. My autocorrect lives to torment me 😞
I definitely went through that in my teens and it wasn't until my mid 20s that I really started embracing femininity and being comfortable with my body.
brett is like 26 at most lol. she's still a child.
@@ChrisB-k7b She's 22
Her self awareness and lack of male condemnation for their preferences is commendable
As a woman about to be 40 I LOVE being strong and lifting weights, it makes me feel so good about myself, my husband of 9 years cheers me on as I do it, muscle is HARD earned and good for our health, in my opinion girls need to not show all their skin and not be crazy! Work hard, don’t be offended by everything, work on how to communicate, don’t rely on a man to make you intrinsically happy, it’s not their job, and a man will sweep you off your feet
I'm an older guy from South Africa, I'd say a regular everyday dad and husband, with a daughter and two young sons, all in their early to mid 20's. As a therapist who works with students my intuitive feeling is that this girl is pretty smart, open to change and ideas, agreeable and seems to have kindness in her.
Add to this that she is quirky, attractive and healthy, and it seems that you have a young woman who will likely be a pretty good GF or wife to be with.
I'm grateful that Brett showed her some kindness, did not judge her, and took an overall positive view of her.
I think that some young man out there, with some decency and foresight, is going to find a good partner in her. I truly wish her the best, and a partner who can show her the love and commitment she seems ready to give and receive.
She's learnt a few things about life choices at a young age, unlikely to make crazy future changes, and I wish her the very best in finding her life mate.
If we are kinder to one another, we will bring the best out of each other. Judgement and scorn is not helpful, and the last thing she needs right now.
All the best to you lovely young lady!
I'll say this much for her; the fact that she's not blaming anyone else for her own choices puts her miles ahead of the competition.
Also one very simple thing she can do is lose the septum piercing; most men see that as a red flag on par with dyed hair and pronouns in the bio.
Septum=major issues.
In body count too
indeed. I don't mind a cute little piercing on the side of the nose. but the septum piercing just makes these women look like dumb farm animals to me. not even thinking about how a certain type of people commonly have this and can be labeled as unstable walking red flags. which is something you just dont want to be associated with by proxy.
100% agree on the septum ring. When I was growing up, septum rings were for cows - I mean literal cows. Mind you I adore cows, they are sweet, affectionate animals. But I don't want to have sex with them anymore.
I work as a developement engineer and I'm about to get married next year. I got my septum pierced when I was 18, and the only times I've taken the ring of is when it's medically necessary (surgeries etc). It fits my face nicely and I really like it. I have no idea why people make it such a big deal, it's a piece of metal. If you don't like it, don't get one. I don't like plenty of stuff other people do with their looks, but I still respect them enough to not bash their looks.
I recently attended a wedding and had drinks afterward with 4 women. I already knew two of these women and just met the other two. What was funny was that all four ladies were from different states, but all had brash, masculine personalities, tattoo sleeves, and were divorced or considering one. There is definitely a pattern.
Sleeve tattoos are gross on women and just plain stupid on men. Decades ago tattoos were bad ass but not 🌈 guys have sleeves, soy boys have them. It’s lost it’s edge and look especially trashy decades later when they fade and blur. Not attractive. I have slept with tattoo chics but I would never be caught in public at a cocktail party with someone who looks like an 80s hair band groupie.
Being tattooed is too normie now.
@@col.strayga1389makes no sense. If it’s normal, it’s normal.
@@Coffeendonutsso good enough to f"*K but you are ashamed of what the guys in your social group will think.
@@Coffeendonutssleeve tats are disgusting. I have no idea why so many women now are destroying their skin with this crap.
There is another aspect to this situation that needs to be addressed. Another common reason why women who want to get married have a hard time getting wifed up, is because they are specifically asking for marriage. Just like women are afraid of being used for sex, men are afraid of being used for our resources. A man wants to be with the woman who wants him for who he is, not what he can give her. So when you lead with "I'm looking for marriage," that gives men the imprssion that you might be more interested in getting things from him then being with him. This is why men often don't want to get serious and just want to keep things casual. Not because we are afraid of commitment (as we so often get accused of), but rather because we're afraid we'll end up commiting to a woman who wants us for what she gets from us, not for who we are.
Being soft and frail and sensitive doesn’t make you feminine. The women just needs to find someone who shares her beliefs and gets along with her
Yeah, I don't care for these guys who are speaking for all men against whole swaths of women. A woman can have tattoos and workout and still be feminine. It's mostly a mentality for how to act in a relationship. I don't mind women who strength train or have tattoos so long as they're respectful and fun to be in a relationship with. People don't fit into a single box.
@@HumanPerson_final True, but the nose ring is just ugly.
Sure, but there’s a WIDE range between frail and what this woman is. It takes a LOT of work to get muscles that big on a woman, and frankly, probably a decent amount of “enhancement” as well. That’s just pointless. Most guys want a woman somewhere in the range of natural with not much strength training, up to some strength training with some toned muscles. None of that is about being frail.
But the much bigger issue is the crazy tattoos, the hog ring, and the overly developed muscles. The combo is nothing but red flags.
@@HumanPerson_final gotta be the right ones with the tats though. Not all people look good with em
I agree. I’m not sure you can get more feminine than a woman with a flower tattoo. Have no clue how art on your body can cause people not to respect that person or decide they aren’t woman enough.
I like that we're coming to the realization that femininity isn't weakness and less and less girls will hopefully not fall for what society (majority/ or loud minority) has been trying to push to girls growing up telling them they need to reject anything remotely feminine.
Growing up, I was a tomboy, or I just liked doing things that were neither labeled as boyish or girly. I still want to embrace my femininity though. I once was teased for liking the color pink cause the person probably thought I only liked it cause I was a girl, but I genuinely just liked it at the time.
Pink has become the color that guys get made fun of for liking and girls get made fun of cause people think "they're falling into the gender stereotypes" but like relax, it's just a color. XD
That was just my natural thoughts, it spiraled into something that this video isn't even addressing lol... I do that a lot XD
@@ElsaLouiseSingerMy girlfriend was definitely a tomboy and still isn't the MOST feminine. She is beautiful, truly kind and compassionate and cares deeply for her family.
She was a bit insecure about having some more masculine traits and for a while I had to reassure her that I love her as she is and 5 years in she is super relaxed about it.
To be frank the tomboyishness has always been super attractive because as a man socialized by women mostly, it was this happy medium that was easy to connect to.
It goes a long way when you simply decide you are going to love the person you chose unconditionally as they are, without superficial preferences getting in the way. She doesn't like to wear pink but she dresses feminine, except when it's cold, shes hungry or she can't be bothered.
Not weak for girls.
Totally weak for boys.
We basically just need to reestablish the traditional gender roles.
I mean I’m sorry but as a man, it seems fairly obviously that femininity isn’t weakness but strength. Without even having to dig that deep into it, just take at what most successful and happy women tend to be like. They’re generally supportive wives and proud moms because they’re feminine which landed them an equal counterpart of a man. They’re friendly, supportive, easy to be around, soothing, positive… that’s a strength and has attracted a lot of good in their lives.
I don’t want people to take away that you can’t be both feminine and successful career-wise either, I still don’t think that’s necessarily true. But you can separate the two worlds, and in your personal life, you’ll probably get a lot more fulfillment embracing femininity, unless that’s just truly not like you, which is fine.
I am a tomboy and I have dated plenty of guys who have loved me for me. It’s not wrong of her to have tattoos or have some muscle- she just needs to find someone who likes it. And be confident who you are.
Exactly this! There is nothing wrong with the tattoos, piercings, or muscles. She just has to find someone who finds them attractive. Like any other superficial quality, some people will like it, some will not; just need to find someone that does. The personality is one of the bigger things that a guy looks for.
Exactly! A lot of men love a woman who is exactly like her. But also a lot of men want the more traditional woman.
Both exist!
Both are okay! Everyone will find love
The crazy part is that she is not gonna date the girls giving her the advices. I have no idea why women giver her false advice to make her feel good.
@@GodGotGame It's empowering
yeah. i 100% think she is a 10/10. but i am 100% sure i wouldn't even be on her "radar". so thats on her. 🤷♂️
The only issue was venting on social media. People rarely care about how they say things. I wish she just got a few friends and talked to them about it. She didnt deserve to be trolled.
There's TOUGH GIRLS and there's girlbosses that are insufferable. My current girl is a bit less feminine than most of my guy friends would go for, but at the same time she is kind, loving and brings me PEACE in life. If the partner doesn't bring you peace, they're not the right match for you.
Was so glad to see your comment. I came down to take a look and see how many people would speak up about how plenty of men would want her, but everyone is saying she does indeed need to be more feminine. As someone who was naturally a tomboy growing up, desperately trying to figure out how to be "girly" and failing epically, I finally gave up and just enjoyed my life as a trainer and getting jacked. And then suddenly, it's like my confidence must have been glowing for the first time in my life because all the boys came out of the woodwork. This buff girl had the strongest, sweetest, most respectable, silly, loving men trying to get her attention, to the point where I just don't want the attention anymore half the time lol. Hot take, based on my experiences as a strong lady who gives off the vibe that I don't NEED a man to get by - and also based off what I've seen from the badass gym girlies around me: Be yourself. There are plenty of men who will love you if you stay true to who you are. It's damn obvious when you're instead, living to be what other's want. If you are a strong, independent, lady, lean into it. You tend to attract men who know they can't eff with you or play with your heart, because they know you only WANT them, not NEED them, and because you'll eff them up right back 🤣
I have sympathy for that girl. She has become self-aware and is honest.
She has a body count of 28
@@vklnew9824 lol
@@turnbotter That dude has a body count of 0.
@@TonyDracon she said on the whatever podcast.
@@turnbotter don't you have some soil to be buried under right now?
When I was in middle though high school, I also purposefully made myself as masculine as possible because I hated being a girl. I still like hanging out with guys and wear simple baggy clothes, but I love doing feminine things like makeup, sewing, cooking, and even want to be mother/wife. I believe every girl will eventually realize what this woman realized, but not all will accept it and act upon it. I hope this woman does find a good man in the future
Cooking is not a feminine thing.
I used to think that way too, back in middle school I went through a terrible phase of gender disphoria, I started wearing men's clothes, even went as far as to borrow my own father's clothes (we were the same size as well) and I just completely lost myself. This last year or two I've been really finding myself and the path I want to go down, and just a slight change in my atittude has brought so much good into my life it is astounding.
Now image when you were at your most vulnerable and confused, that someone had filled you with testosterone while your body was developing….
This is the world we currently live in.
I had this same conversation with my Mum and I always felt uncomfortable getting male attention so young. My uncle, a Horseman was super Masculine and I looked up to him and wanted to be taken seriously. I am now super feminine while still having horses and being a strong woman.
I’m a 5’9” woman: I hunt, drink bourbon, and love horror movies and good cigars. My husband is a 5’6” composer. We have one of the most traditional marriages of anyone we know. I stay home with our two babies, garden and can our food, and bake and cook from scratch, and he provides and protects. Even if your temperament, as a woman, isn’t especially soft and feminine, you can still get in touch with that side of yourself and find enormous fulfillment in a traditionally feminine role.
I used to know a woman in a very similar spot. She was attractive and cool but tattooed/pierced up and all on the Crossfit hype train. She would tell me regularly of the guys in her life that she had casual relationships but none cared to stick around for the long term, which she desired. We've lost touch, hope she experienced this self-actualization like this woman did eventually.
This woman cannot be taken seriously. I checked out her TIK TOK and shortly after this post she ended up getting three more tattoos.
@@smokindragn1 wait wtf give me link of that short!
I feel sad for them when I see them walking around.
@@blackout_ghost Agreed, so as long as it's not the cornerstone of your personality.
@@blackout_ghostthere is. Tattoos and piercings indicate lack of character, immaturity, poor judgement and decision making skills.
No one wants a tatted wife or mother. Its bad for men too but 10x worse for Women!
I am a 16 year old girl still in highschool, like the girl in the video, I grew up in the South around traditional relationships. I always wanted that, even when I was little I dreamed of being a mother to kids alongside a strong man. But, growing up no guy ever paid attention to me unless it was to see me as a masculine friend. I am tall, I have naturally broad shoulders and muscular limbs, which makes me look more masculine. I was always feminine growing up, especially in highschool. I loved girly clothes and I always wore makeup and loved anything that made me feel girly. Still, I wasn’t seen as girly or feminine. I hadn’t had a relationship all of my time growing up and hadn’t even ever received a compliment from a guy. I had several crushes but I never said anything, I was too scared he’d be disgusted. At the age of eleven I discovered that porn existed and I slowly became addicted to it. My ADHD caused me to hyper fixate on things, which eventually caused me to become a hypersexual. I was always so deprived of romantic love or even the compliments from men, I didn’t know what to do. I don’t work out to make myself look muscular and masculine so there’s nothing I can do, I feel stuck. I worry that I’ll never have a real relationship or I’ll be pulled into a relationship I don’t want. The closest thing I’ve ever had to a relationship was when I was groomed by an upperclassmen girl when I was in sixth grade. Does anyone have any advice to help me?
Chick is cute, sorta funny, clearly motivated, self aware, and seems like a decent person. She's gonna be just fine.
Probably run through too
It is amazing what a man will do for a woman who he's trying to impress, especially if the thinks he has a chance. There is no weakness in femininity, it's just a different kind of strength.
feminity never was a weakness, men are weak and cruel , they take revenge on feminity, they devalue feminity, they hate feminity , they take advantage of feminity. The feminity never was a problem , the problem that a lot of men hate and do not respect and value feminity , and other men do not teach them how to treat feminity in good way.
Love this 😌❤
My ex was a bodybuilder and in the end all these labels have little meaning, it doesn't define you. She was still a sweetheart who killed it wearing a dress. It all comes down to personal preference, in the end.
She seems like a sweetheart who's self-aware to the point she'd ought to be attractive to a lot of guys on that alone.
Just have to keep looking in the right places, namely in places where people may value that which she values.
Men don't want ripped women, being tone is fine.
Sounds pretty gay tbh
🤣 because liking women is gay y'all 🤣
Men don’t like a woman cover up with tattoos. That’s not lady like.. she gots a divorce date for a men whoever wants to marry her!!!She said that she gots a body count of 28 and she’s 22 years old she is the bottom of the barrel!!
I had to become a strong, independent woman with my 2nd husband, but below the surface I wanted a guy that I could fix fence with, or he just goes and fix fence. I have tattoos, but my husband doesn't care. He wants to take care of me, protect me, etc. I am a woman that what's to be taken care and protected. Find that balance.
I'd like to give my opinion in this subject. Sure, I'm not a dude, I'm a woman, soooo... I can't fully affirm everything about men attraction towards women, and I recognize that. But I'd like to say my point of view based on my experiences and thoughts:
I think the current problem of society is taking things too much to the extreme: either you're a housewife, totally traditional, don't have your own career, only follow the traditional standarts for lifestyle, dressing, etc... Or you're a totally ogre, overly masculine, unworthy of men's attraction etc etc. Why can't a woman just be feminine, but with some tomboyish traits? It's not like a girl can't be loved by any man just because she's not 100% feminine.
Of course, I understand that inevitably the guys in general will for sure feel more attracted to the more feminine girls. But that doesn't mean only the girly traditional girls will be loved, like... ??????
I'll take myself as an example:
I'm a considerably feminine girl. Not very much tho... I don't really fit in the traditional. Not a fan of makeup (I don't hate it either. I'd probably use it to go on a party, an event or smth, but not on a daily basis), I rarely wear dresses, I enjoy short hair, I have a small tattoo in my forearm and I want to have my own business. And before you come and call me a pick me girl... I also don't really fit in the "masculine woman" category: I really dislike piercings, sometimes I actually do enjoy using some skirts, I really like pink stuff, and even though I'm not a fan of dresses, I still dress like a woman normally would, but in a more country-ish style: Cuff boots, jeans, regular shirt, a bandana in my neck...
So yeah, I don't really try to fit in any category. I'm just me! And I think we all should just try be ourselves without giving so much importance about labels.
About the woman in the video... I think her issue with being attractive to men is the way she portrays herself in general. She have an exaggerated amount of tattoos, have a general "denying my femininity" look, have that weird looking nose piercing... In my opinion she looks like a really nice person, but the style she embraced is just not what the majority of male feel attracted to, and that's reality.
There's no reason to deny it: Men like femininity, just as women like masculinity. But there's the other side in this too... At the same time that I agree that it's just dumb to deny that femininity is what guys are looking for, I also find pretty annoying the people who just take this situation to go on and say "HAH! See? Modern woman bad! Only tradwife good!". And here is where I get into the subject of unnecessary extremes. We don't need to be TOTALLY traditional to be likeable for men! We CAN still be feminine, and have some modern traits. We CAN be wives, but also have our own jobs. We DON'T have to follow a extreme direction for everything, damn! It's not like every man in the world will start to despise me just because I have a single tattoo in my arm, or because I want to have my business! It's the same thing for men... For sure I like masculine traits in guys, but it's not because of that, that I'll reject every guy who's not a complete giga-Chad-looking-like! No one should feel obligated to go to a extreme, because we're all human and have our nuances!
So basically... Everything feels so extreme to me right now, and I really wanted to express my feelings about that. In general, what I want to say is: Don't come at people all woke, trying to deny reality and expect people to completely fall in love with you even if you don't even try to be attractive to the opposite gender somehow. But at the same time, don't limit yourself to labels, humans are more than labels, and we're all free to be ourselves. It's okay to be a tomboyish girl! It's okay to be a little feminine guy! But also, try to embrace your femininity as a woman, and your masculinity as a man!
PS: I'm a conservative woman, if anyone is wondering, and I'm brazilian :P
Love your videos, Brett! Keep doing this great work!
For me the bull ring combined with ridiculous eye lashes would be a big ol' red flag if I wasn't already married. Nothing to do with her fitness.
100% with the bull ring, it looks good on no one.
Fitness too, I’m not gay to be attracted to masculine features
@@garciapedro7554 Hey if you get injured she would be able to drag you to safety if needed. Personally ripped women are a turn off.
I cut her some slack but the bull ring is a big NO
And you don't want to wave a red flag in front of someone wearing a bull ring.
When I met my girlfriend, I made it quite clear what I am looking for in a partner, funnily enough as we started seeing each other more, she actually got worried that she wasn’t feminine enough for me because she used to have a bit of a bite, whereas I found that she always seemed very feminine around me, and still does to this day. We bring a real lovely balance to each other and to see her flourish in her softer side has made her happier she tells me
Men dont want "partners"
@@professionalpookie who told you that
@@MadsterV have you ever heard men say they want "partners"?
@@professionalpookie Just "men" in Cali
@@MadsterV answer the question
I personally think she's absolutely gorgeous. She seems sweet. It seems like she also has the desire to be a good wife and mother. She shouldn't have any issues getting wifed up. Maybe remove the nose piercing. That will help. Still, she seems like a great person
My thoughts exactly
It’s just about embracing your femininity while also feeling free to express yourself through tats, piercings, and clothing. You can work out and still be feminine. There’s nothing wrong with her. Be kind and sweet, don’t be abrasive and argumentative and drama. I am married, I’m a tattooer, and I love my man. I have health issues that prevent me from having children, but he has kids, and I love them too. I cook, I clean, I tattoo, I do my makeup. We appreciate each other and both our masculine/feminine attributes. We’re definitely odd people. I don’t know how we got so lucky to find each other.
I would say the same thing Brett's Mom said, feminine does not mean weak. Feminine is beautiful and women should embrace it. You can be feminine and still be a strong woman with great aspirations. Being feminine doesn't mean giving up on your hopes and dreams it means embracing your biology
It can though. The same thing that makes a girl so cute it hurts at other times can make her so weak and apprehensive it's annoying LOL It's still infinitely more desirable than masculine traits but I'd prefer a girl that can take the best traits from both. Like a girl that has at least one hobby or talent I will take over the many girls that have none, any day. The girl in the video exercising is a great example especially because it also makes her look much more attractive but any hobby builds character IMO. if a girl plays an instrument like guitar I fall in love in no time lol
@@hugostiglitzracing866 not really, actually. That’s not feminine itself. That person might just have that personality. You don’t have to try to oppress women any more than they already are by saying this. I’m done with the, “But some are!” Crap.
We have to be careful telling people they have to be a certain way to attract a certain thing. Be you. Embrace you. Being self-aware in the fact that androgynous energy will attract less men, and that it is okay, is a good thing. You're not wrong or any less female. You will just have less options, and that is okay. My dad was raised by a strong woman, married a strong woman, and raised a strong woman. He wasn't feminine. He worked as a roughneck in the oilfield business. He also just found strong women attractive. I'm not as feminine as my other friends, but I am okay with that. When I was a teenager, I had a friend tell me that I should be less sporty if I wanted to get more guys' attention. I said that the right guy will like me for me. And I've been married for 16 years - and yes to a man. I didn't compromise who I was just to get more men's attention.
6:09 loved that you added this scene from Cowboy Bebop 😂
There's nothing wrong with a woman who works out and takes care of herself, but if you also deny your own femininity in the process, that's gonna be a problem for attracting a traditional, masculine man.
The women in my family are tough as hell (one is a decorated combat veteran), they take care of themselves and some of them have tats but they all embrace their womanhood. When you see them with their kids, or around the house, they are 100 percent Susie Homemaker... in their case though, Susie is also strapped😆
This woman is the embodiment of what happens when women take the wrong advice when it comes to relationships.
I have seen this clip a lot! I think she is young enough , and is realizing mistakes she made. I think there is hope for her.
@overlordfemto7523 bingo. exactly. what is more women have evolved or have been selected for generations with arranged marriages. So the women we have today, their offspring, did not develop proper selection skill or urge. So they select the wrong men or don't even select. Now we give them the wheel in their hands, and they cannot drive. And we have population collapse as a result.
Why the obsession with marriage? Most Westerners don't marry.
@overlordfemto7523blud what ru even saying… a lot of arrange marriages were horrible!! Underage girls with older men putting ur child with someone they don’t love is saving them?? 💀
@@delilahispeachyfresh2835 why do you assume that all arranged marriages were always on underaged girls.
Your description of you in high school was me to a T. I learned to embrace my femininity in my late 20’s and it was the best thing I ever did.
I was always and am a feminine woman. However, when I was a single mom with 2 sons, making a living and attempting to also teach them whatever a dad should be teaching, I found my masculine side becoming more apparent. (Survival mode?) It took my realizing this and making the conscious decision to get back to my “softer side,” (to me) and be the best mother I could be, while surrounding them as much as possible with positive male role models. The bottom line for me was that I made a great mother but a terrible father. There are so many things about guiding boys to manhood that I didn’t know or understand. Boy children need fathers to teach them how to be men in the truest sense, I
i.e., strong, protective, honest and true and preferably willing to lead. Women need to be women and to let men be men. Life is simpler and happier when we don’t try to be what God never intended us to be.
My wife is a 6 foot tall, strong, badass woman. And I find her gorgeous. Now, I’m a 6’4” former powerlifter, football player, etc.
She just needs to find someone that appreciates her for her.
thank you for the video feedback and the kind words my video was definitely misconstrued quite a bit ( also it’s okay to laugh 😂 I did it to mostly be funny but yes a lot of it I was serious about). Thanks girl!
If that is you,...You seem rather feminine and cute. Its probibly not the sushi or tea, ( i like both too) and i think you have some "feminine energy". Tap into it. Dont give up the gym though. That is attractive to alot of men. And that gym bod, ( judging by your shoulders) you could probibly rock a halter top dress realy well. Its probibly more how you carry yourself, then how you look. You kinda remind me of the "titan born" woman from the elder scrolls trailer. Tall, strong, and beautifull and the same time. That self reflection means there is hope for you. Dont give up., I wish you the best. Work on displaying yourself as "wife material".
Bottom line,...become the prize, your prize, would prize.
Whoa, that's cool that you found this video! To add some more kind words, I think you seem like a very sweet person. It doesn't matter about tattoos and stuff 'cause as opposed to what a lot of people say, I know a girl who's covered in tattoos and is in a relationship and settling down. I think as long as you don't come across aggressive or masculine in how you present yourself you should be fine finding a guy. Also, it's cool that you work out, you should be proud of your body and the work that you put into it. The right guy will find that attractive.
Girl, you are beautiful and there is someone out there for you. There is nothing wrong with the way you look. There’s that saying “dress for the job you want.” We go thru seasons in our lives and it’s ok to explore different sides of ourselves. The great thing is that you are single and have the freedom to figure it out before you settle down.
you seem nice. keep it up. don't worry about the tattoos. Do get rid of the nose ring.
You're going to fine!!! Nothing wrong with a bit of self reflecting! Y
Shout out to Brett Cooper for sharing her personal backstory; I love hearing peoples back stories, and this particular one gave me a lot more respect for her - her transformation sounds like it was pretty extreme, and people who have depth are interesting.
I love hearing her perspective! So relatable
Lol at the Cowboy Bebop clip. I guess someone my age is working with Bret.😂
i dont think its about the look, i think its about trying to act better than your partner/person you’re interested in. No one likes arrogance. theres always someone out there for you, don’t need to do a whole 360 on yourself. Just be realistic. its ok to not be ultra feminine, just dont see it as a bad thing, don’t try to hold yourself back
Funny, my wife has tattoos, one that I put on her (I was a tattooist) and others she had before we were married, she is a very feminine woman. This month we have been married 47 years with 6 children, 22 Grandchildren and 4 Great Grandchildren... This young lady seems like she has a great character and thinks about things, she is sensitive and I hope she meets a man who will accept her and look after her.
Exceptions. Not the norms..most tatted women are not feminine and definitely not wife material. MOST.
My ex was covered in tattoos, and she did end up wanting to get married and have children late into our 3y relationship. The problem weren't the tattoos, but all the packaged that is usually attached to it. As soon as we began disagreeing in how kids should be raised, our different world views were amplified beyond reconciliation and we had to break up. She was a superlib back then and I was an atheist "conservative" leaning into reverting back into Catholicism.
If I find myself a tattooed girl who sees all the BS in the world and realizes she was wrong about a lot of thing, like I was (back when I was a pro-choice atheist), and agrees in most things God (above all), marriage (for life) and kids (as many as God sends us) related, I'd wife her up in no time.
And even though nobody cares about a somewhat anonymous post I'm not considering myself some sort of catch, I have lots of things to fix to become a better future husband and father.
Based bio, the bait almost got me 😂
My background was similar. Tattoo'd and pierced ex, nice person, but as time went on the paths and outlooks in life went different directions. Mine more towards stability, and to some extent, faith (at least in moral guidance), whilst hers is generally more in the non-traditional route. In the end, we went separate ways (divorced, amicably), and I found my lovely wife I have today, with no tattoos or piercings, and conservative/religious-based values.
Yeah, people put a lot of stake on looks, but they don’t make the person. I’ve met more traditional looking women who were super lib and I’ve met conservative Christian goths. If you’re attracted to that style just go for it, it may be harder to find someone like that whom agrees with your life style but it’s never impossible.
I really feel for her. She's self aware enough to be realizing that she's presenting and image or energy thst isn't attracting the kind of attention she's craving. I can relate. I was a tomboy and a tough kid. I never got the attention of the males I was interested in. I was "one of the guys" but never sought after as a girlfriend.
Not ironically, since I've been married to a very alpha, very traditionally masculine, country, hard working, blue collar man for 10 years, I've become more soft and feminine. I've had 2 babies and got 1 on the way. If I had a chance to meet this seemingly very sweet and genuine lady, I'd give her a hug, tell her I agree with her conclusion, but that there's certainly hope!
I haven't lost my edge as a tomboy. 😅 I consider myself very much so one today. I still do farm work, wear ratty jeans and boots, I am a horseshoer and can swing a hammer better than most men I know. I can still lift a hay bale or carry a 5 gallon bucket of water, I just do it with a baby on my hip, these days. 😂
But it's all about what you're wanting ti draw attention to. Maybe try taking out some piercings, maybe dress a little softer, more modest? Maybe be intentional about softening your energy a bit. Even little details like a more feminine hairstyle or less makeup, can instantly make a girl seem more approachable. But no matter what approach you take, it's not as important as realizing that the way to attract the kind of attention you want, is in your control. Thats everything. It gives you some power to influence your future interactions.
Brilliant analysis and empathy, Brett. My admiration for you grows daily. So glad you are as self-aware as you are and that you navigated through those phases of self-discovery so well and balanced. You have grown to become a person who comes across as very intelligent, attractive, and strong, without sacrificing feminine traits, in ways that make you excellent “wife material.” From a dating perspective, many intelligent and confident men would not be threatened by you (I hope) and would see you as abundantly feminine and beautiful, IMHO. I have known many outstanding wives who might appear to be overly submissive to some (like to the tatted/septum-pierced woman) but in reality, what those “progressive” women perceive as weakness or inappropriate submissiveness is actually graciousness and a heart of service (not servitude). That, in a nutshell, embodies the key to a successful marriage - when BOTH spouses voluntarily serve each other’s needs and desires and are gracious when accountability is dispensed (and despite nearly 35 years of a great marriage, we are still learning how to be more gracious and to gently voice desired changes without a frustrated tone, although my wife is way ahead of me on that count).
Damn bro wrote a whole essay
I was older when I came to the conclusion that enjoy aspects of being girly doesn’t make me a “basic girl” and that was very liberating for me.
They use insults for woman who don’t want to be a feminist they call them “pick me girls” yes they get picked and the feminists don’t and they wonder why they aren’t getting picked 😂
I'd love to see a dating/blind dating show run by you. Would be really interesting to watch and see how people behave.
I have a good female friend who is very tomboyish. She never had any problems attracting guys. She dated a lot when younger. Currently she's been married almost 20 yrs (to a guy) and they have 2 kids. Yet she's been always so tomboyish that when I showed her pic to some of my other friends they assumed she was a lesbian.
Because many men are attracted to that. And lots of different men have different types. I'm heavily tattooed and it's mostly tattoo free men attracted to me. Also feminine/masculine is more about personality. I wear make up, heels, skirts/dresses and I do not consider myself feminine and not because of tattoos.
This is genuinely interesting to me.
For context, I'm a steadfast Christian and hardcore conservative. I ALSO got my dad's entire personality in a female body. I've always been told that it would take a unicorn to love me because I am EXTREMELY unorthodox and unapologetic about who God created me to be. I have never been willing to taper my personality or interests or talents in order to find a husband. After years of praying and waiting patiently, God gave me my other half. He's literally my perfect match and loves all the things that others find "freaky" or "too much" about me. He is a God-fearing, extremely conservative, hard-working man. The concept that a woman has to fit a very specific mold to find a good man who loves her has always been wild to me.
It's good you found your other half but the kind of men she likes might be attracted to more feminine women, idk
Septum piercing is an automatic no-go. Ladies, stop doing it.
Facts it’s so ugly
Yep, it's such a bad trend.
I have a septum because I am trans-animal. I grew up on a farm and realized I didn't feel like myself unless I was with the cows and bulls. I am a bull. I got my septum pierced and have a number tag pierced on the top of my ear. Don't hate what you don't understand. #transanimal /s
They tend to do what other women do......hive minded creatures.
Thank you! Makes them look like actual cattle
I am starting to like this channel
Honestly she seems like a fun/ nice person to be around. Just be true to yourself and you'll find someone eventually. It's all about your personality and how you carry yourself that really keeps someone around in the long term.
@@iamme25yagostop. I’m sure you’re much less interesting.
I dont think she's all that masculine other than her muscle, I think she's kinda cute and quirky and I feel like she's just being herself. I hope she finds someone who appreciates her
Bru she said that she slept with 28 people and 14 men when she was in high school and she’s only 22 years old….. Her tattoos are a big red flag that’s not lady like at all!!! She said that at the Whatever Podcast look it up and how she slept with and older men I mean come She might sound nice or look pretty but she is a red flag!!!!!
I personally think this is the best time to be a woman. And indeed femininity is a strength and one can be feminine and strong - you just need to lean into both in different ways and in different situations.
I think this is true for men too. A man can be masculine and have positive feminine qualities like being more nurturing and vulnerable. I’m like my godfather in this way. He’s masculine, a provider, very physically fit, gets women’s attention, is usually the “alpha male” in the room but the way he cares for and loves on his kids and the family/friends around him is warm like it comes from a mother’s touch but when it’s time to be the disciplinarian patriarch he’s able to tap in to that very easily as well. It’s hard for me to explain exactly but he’s emotionally intelligent and a balanced individual. I don’t know if that makes sense.
This is what I'm sayin! I've dated a girl who was a software engineer/gamer and was into many hobbies you'd generally consider male dominated. That didn't make her masculine to me. She still looked feminine and acted feminine in the ways that count. Also, it's not like you can't have ANY masculine energy either. That can be fun sometimes too, but I do really require that a girl is generally more feminine most of the time.
I have a masculine man. I am a house wife, and I homeschooling mom, and I cook all the meals, clean the house, do all the laundry, I make my husband's lunch every day, I lay his clothes out every morning, and I start his truck every day, in winter I get off all the snow.
I also, help him with tougher jobs. Like we redid our roof just the two of us. A metal roof. I go four wheeling with him, shooting with him, fishing with him. I HAVE to be stronger. If he hurts himself really bad, I need to be able to drag his butt to the truck. By myself. If I'm gonna carry our large 5 year old when necessary I'm gonna have to be stronger. I'm 5'2". He's 6'. Our 5 year old is more than half my height.
I don't have the girliest personality either. But I love doing simple glittery make up, wearing earrings, getting my nails done, and wearing pink.
One tattoo from when I was 16, and my belly button is pierced. 🤷🏻♀️ I'm pretty positive he loves me for all I am. She'll find her man.
The difficulty is that a lot of this is also based off of the type of man that she is attracted to. Depending on our upbringing and the type of relational trauma we have, it can be very difficult to find someone who is healthy and also wants a long term relationship. Even if we want a long term relationship, if we do not deal with our trauma we subconsciously send out messages that can push away the type of people who match what we want and pull in people that would be toxic for us. This conversation is a little deeper than just focusing on masculine and feminine, but dealing with individual trauma is not possible/not healthy on this type of platform, but femininity is definitely powerful.
That's what I was thinking more or less, because I'm used to nerdy communities that would find her very hot. I'm one of them by the way. I had a wallpaper of Vladislava Galagan on my PC for some time. But yes, in my case the reason why I find muscular women attractive is probably something to do with personal gaps and maybe some deeper need for protection, I don't know. Not the greenest flag in the world.
"based off of the type of man ..." No honey ALL of us dislike them. Please look the word "all" up and double check the definition...
if she genuinely enjoys that for herself though then that's also okay. I'm not a girly girl but I'm engaged and getting married this summer. My fiance likes that I am not ultra-feminine or shallow like other "soft girls". Pushing stereotypes either way is not the way to go.Let's all just do decisions for ourselves and not to convince anyone else to like us.
I don't know if it was your intention, but it seems to me that to you girly girls or soft girls are shallow just because they're more feminine? That's not right. A masculine woman is not better than a feminine one. Girly girls are not shallow just because they're girly.
Yes, I do want a women who looks like her. The problem is not her personality or looks, its her standard in men she is going after...She is clearly setting the bar low for herself and what type of guy she is attracted to. Her realization needs to be that there are men out there who want a girl like her in their life.
For real. As a straight gal, I thought she was pretty to be honest. Her tattoos were not that insane. Yet I see people complain about her broad shoulders in the comments. So if a woman has naturally strong shoulders I guess she is supposed skip arm day now, or not workout with the goal of becoming strong? The only thing I thought was weird was the septum piercing.
@@rationalcynic8416 why its always have to be that way... "so if a woman this and that and bs".. like she have a big upper body, that's a masculine thing.. if a guy wants a more feminine looking girl ofc she's not gonna fit that aesthetic.. she need to find a guy who find her atractive and by the way she speak, she isnt the kinda girl men's she'd like will find her feminine.. and that's fine.. imagine if i get angry cuz korean women dont like me cuz i dont look like a korean, androgynous k-pop looking guy..
Yeah. I wanted someone who could keep up with me and found it. She might just need someone a little more, secure and classy.
The guys she wants doesn't want a girl like her.
@@rationalcynic8416 i wasnt sure about septum's at first either but i sort of dated a girl with one an i got to see some pretty cute ones on her. grew my understanding of them past those giant bull rings. hers is fairly basic though
My wife is a metal head, walks like she'd kick your ass, loves action movies more than I do, has a loud evilish laugh... She wasn't very "girly" when I met her (and now she's covered with tattoos) but she's supportive and always appreciates it when I open the door for her, or when I pull a chair for her... She makes me feel proud of my gentleman's manners (which, by the way, I learned by being raised by 5 women) and we've been together for 14 years now. It's not that hard, really: you want to make a man feel like he really means something to you? Just show some appreciation for the things he does for you instead of complaining. There's nothing more embarrasing for men than being with someone that shames you even when you're triying your best. It's like marrying your bully
Back in the 1970's when feminism was hitting its stride, there was a show called "Good Times", and they had a quasi-battle of the sex's episode.
I still remember a quote from Florida Evans to her husband, "I don't want to be ahead of you, but I don't want to walk behind you, either. James, I want to walk with you."
To me, that's the attitude to have in a marriage.
This chick is a great picture of the bubbles social media have forced us to live in. My experience of this video was so very different than other. I follow a lot of gym bro types, and they were all mostly positive.
She made the first step and acknowledged that shes the problem. Now she can walk the path of self-improvement
Tattoos and piercings don't define you, yes. But they ARE proof of past mistakes you still haven't moved beyond. And that is a massive character flaw.
And massive character flaws DO define you.
I am a strong woman. I have been through some things in life.
Like 99% of women.
The difference is that (I hope) I have let the hurt in and let it burn some compassion and humility into me. The loud women just let the hurt make them angry and selfish.
This young woman seems like a decent, thoughtful person. I hope she finds that life partner she is clearly ready for.