Another wise man is telling you now… Show me a woman who knows who she ACTUALLY is… And I’ll show you a unicorn riding a dragon while crapping diamonds.😉👍🥃
My favorite one is "You're still young, you have time," told by my sister, who is 5 years younger than me and in a relationship longer than all of my past relationships combined. 😂😂😂
Hardest part of being still single at 29 is not having any single friends anymore. Seeing all your married friends with kids makes the loneliness hit hard
my husband's two best friends have this issue, and they don't even know where to look anymore. The're single while our kid is already in school. And we can't even give any advice, we are each other's first serious relationship, met by unrepeatable coincidence and were inseparable since the second we saw each other and started talking.
Same thing happend to me at 28, i have zero friends that are single, and i just so angry and sad, i push myself out there overcoming my fear and shyness, (one of my issues) i go crazy join bunch of sport clubs and put myself out there to meet new network of peoples and it work out, met my wife in a charity events i help hosted. Dont give up hope, fight for yourself, overcome the doubt and fears.... sell yourself put yourself out there in new positive environment, find one that align with your interest. GL
42 Male. At your age, we went up to girls, minimum 5 a day. We had a huge group of friends. This was about the time Facebook came out so we had a mix of irl pick ups, friend groups/social life, AND facebook dates. You said you went an entire YEAR in your TWENTIES without even holding hands? what you reckon your 30s will be like or your 40s? LMFAO oh buddy oh buddy buddy. You're in for a treat. You have 3 years to fix your attitude before things get really serious for you.
You shouldn't set people up. Just invite them to the same group function and let them meet organically. Don't tell either one about the other. The expectation of the relationship having to be romantic right out the gate sets it up for failure.
Unless one or both of them has asked you to let them know such things ahead of time. "Hey if you meet anyone who is single, is relationship material, and might be into me, let me know."
@@Tzarina8472 even then just introduce them without the expectation of romantic engagement. Host a party, invite both to go ice skating/ movies/ disc golf/ dancing/ whatever activity it is you do for fun with your friends. If they have chemistry it'll happen without prompting.
I do this. After observing both for a while I'll invite them both to a group hang out but not tell them I'm trying to set them up or anything. So far I have a record of more than 10 happy married couples that met at something I invited them both to because they seemed like good matches. I also have a good record with proposals 😅 Can't set myself up to save my life but I am great at pairing everyone else 😊
I’m a 35 year old single woman who would love to marry and have children, but I’m beginning to lose hope of that ever happening. I’ve tried dating apps, joining small groups at church, doing group activities, but all to no avail. My standards are not extremely high: he loves Jesus, desires to be a husband and father, shares my values, has a job, and is healthy and active. It’s also really hard being the only single person among friends, especially when most conversations revolve around marriage and raising children. The other day my mom told me, “Some people just aren’t meant to be married.” 😢
well your mother is right, im not saying that It will be you, but do not finding anyone is also a possibility and you should have it in your options when thinking about your future. real life is not like the movies, so when planning is better to do it from a realistic perspective... being alone is way better than being with someone just to "do not feel alone". Good luck.
I can understand the pain. I hope god gives you strength to bear this pain. Don’t loss hope , Good people will always one day find someone to love them. Take care Anneke.
Sister!!!! Keep your head up. If God has placed this desire in you it will not return void ❤️ I heard a beautiful story from my coworker today about how she met her husband later than she thought. God’s plan is perfect!!
My biggest annoying thing people say is "You're so sweet (and/or other compliments), how do you not have a boyfriend?" How do you respond to that..? "thanks? I don't know..."
Women and Men selection on the basis of different criteria. For men the selection is biased in physical and for women it is biased on emotional. The irony is that both men and women are not aware of that. It used to be very well understood in society as a whole. Today we have young people have no clue of this because society is too scared to talk about it. The success rate for selection increases dramatically when an individual meets more people of both sexes. Many young people are very isolated and tend to not understand their isolation. People are saying it to you probably because they see you are capable and wonder how you are single. Your response is simple I am waiting for the right man nothing else needed.
I get this all the time. Oh there is no way you will stay single! You're such a great person! You're amazing! The people I try to date even tell me this before they block me. it's great.
The way Brett's smile changed and got bigger and her whole face just lit up when she called her husband is so sweet and wholesome! Couple's goals! As someone who was blessed to find the right person and get married young, I hope and pray that everyone who is chronically single and wants love and companionship will be able to find their person.
I truly do not understand why large conservative organizations like TPUSA, Dailywire etc. don't have singles events at at least their conferences or even just a regional event. It's such a huge opportunity wasted. My church had a singles event with like 100 people and there have already been 3 marriages from it. Come on guys you have the resources help a friend out!!
+1 for this. If conservative groups want to get people back to family values and having/raising kids, they should stop talking and start DOING the ground work.
I was at AMFest and TPUSA does those however it was apart of the VIP section. Plus with everyone being so far away it’s highly unlikely that anything works out.
@@stephenwallace9555 They could have them more regional though, and I have never even seen it as part of the Amfest advertisement. It should be highly publicized thing, they have the resources to make it work! My church had a conference with people from all over the states and there were at least 3 marriages in less than a year to come out of a singles dance of 75ish people. It is possible!
28 male, and one example I’ve gotten in recent years is “you’ve done so much that you’ll just overwhelm them”. I don’t like that at all. While yes I have done a wide variety of things to enrich my life, I’m at a point in my life where I’m realizing how much of life has been exposed and poured into me, and all I want to do is share it. I’ve gone on two solo trips to in the last year to opposite sides of the country just to challenge my limits, do things I have interest in and speak to my values. I enjoy retelling my adventures, but i feel empty sometimes. I’d like to share an adventure with someone for once you know Thanks Brett for the awesome video. Your husbands debut was wonderful.
Don't listen to them. Enriching your life only makes you more interesting. Keep doing you! I'm 21 (female) and my family has been asking where my boyfriend is. I'm starting to give up but seeing some of these comments is giving me hope! Where did you go for your solo trips? I'm trying to "put myself out there" more and want some ideas of where to go and what activities to do.
@@goldengirl8736 thank you for the kind words. You made me smile. I went to SoCal and road tripped from Wisconsin to NYC. Both cases involving at least one overnight train ride. It’s very peaceful and fills my heart with joy. Both trips I had planned with certain attractions in mind, but I found plenty of surprises as well.
It really confuses me when people start comparing what you’ve done to themselves. It’s not a competition :D But I do get these comments from time to time as well (female, 33). Just keep going and enjoy your life! Either you find someone or you don’t, but at least you have traveled and experienced a lot of different things :)
Guy here! I think the emptiness you might be feeling is lack of purpose. I've seen my friends in a similar situation of feeling empty and depressed, they picked up a job that involved some physical labor but they sounded so much happier last I spoke to them because they were doing something they felt mattered.
I was single until 32. Met him. Married him a year later. 3 kids by 40. He was WORTH.THE.WAIT. Join church groups or other places that you have interests in. Have friends. Do stuff you like. Meet people with similar values and interests. Give people a chance, but don't waste time. And just like with weight loss.... tHEY ALREADY KNOW. They DO NOT NEED COMMENTS. Just be a friend. Be a sister. Be good to them the way you want people to be good to you.
@@RossGuzman I know.... I am sorry! Turning 30 was rough for me for sure! But, there IS hope! I had a big group of friends in the same boat and all but one eventually married!
It's especially gross to say to women because we definitely do not have that much time. And even for men, you wanna be able to play with your kids without throwing your back out!
Oh, what the heck. Might as well. I’m a 23 year old Catholic girl near living in Missouri. I work at a small horse and donkey barn. I have two dogs and am in the process of finding my own horse. I love being outside, taking my dogs on trails, hunting, and riding. I quilt, bake, and dabble in taxidermy. I recently got some chickens and am looking into more homesteading. I’m always excited to go to a museum. Usually history and science, not really art museums. I want kids and my ideal situation is a multigenerational family. I want live near my parents so my kids have strong relationships with my family. I adore my job, but kids would come first. I’ve never dated or been in a relationship. I’m hoping to find a good man, but for the longest time I didn’t know where to start. Good luck to everyone out there!
You sound like an great person with wholesome qualities. I've been trying to find someone who is outdoors-ey and interested in homesteading near KY, but regardless, GOOD LUCK!
You sound like you have similar interests to me, but I live and work in tennessee, and that's also where my family and church family are, so if I was to relocate I would have to find another job, and another church, and where ever moved to I would like to own at least a few acres of land. I keep about sixteen sheep on my parent's seven acres and I'm currently in the process of fencing my preacher's property to run some cattle on. I'm not completely opposed to leaving, but it would need to be a well calculated decision.
I'm a young 20 year old Catholic boy in Arkansas, though I live very close to Missouri. I am in the process of moving and finding a job. I am a convert so I don't have a Catholic family. When I'm at my parents house I tend to take care of our chickens and dog. I haven't been in mang relationships and over all not for much time. I really like history, math, and faith related topics. I don't want to give more information to avoid doxxing myself.
21 year old Catholic girl here! Met my boyfriend by going to every young adult group and young adult event in the area. There was no secret sauce to meeting him. Met him at a party he hosted and we hit it off almost instantly. You'll find yours if it's in God's will 🫡
You remember in Kung Fu Panda when Po opened the scroll and he said “it’s blank?” Sometimes the best answer is no answer at all. The advice given to the supposed “chronically single” people only pushes people back into their chronically single mindset. It’s all in our minds. In actuality, saying _nothing_ helps distract from their singleness and allows them the mental room to grow as a person and to quit obsessing over what has not yet been. - Chronically Single Person
@@spaceperson613 The point is to fill the mental room with anything but the obsession. Things that will positively impact your life, simultaneously making you a better dating candidate.
I’m also permanently single. I’ve just given up and accepted that I will always be alone. Something that not many couples realise - it gets lonely. Single people eventually get excluded. All my friends are married and have kids, another is now pregnant again. At times I’m okay, but lately I’ve felt very alone and depressed. And while some say it’s fine, there are still people that judge you that you are “old” (37) and still single.
I think couples do realize that but unless you want to be fully integrated with nitty gritty kid stuff, there's very limited natural ways for you to spend time or connect with them in this individualistic society. They do not have the freedom you have, and you don't have the responsibility they have with little humans. It's an uphill battle but not impossible
16:34 This!!! I saved myself for marriage. The longer I went without making a solid connection or being in a relationship, the more I was determined that my husband would be the one for all my firsts. I was not going to settle at that point because I had waited so long. At 28, I met my husband, we got married this April when I was 31 he was 33. He is my first boyfriend, first kiss, first everything and will be my last. So glad I didn’t settle and waited until both of us were in the place were we were ready for each other. As much as we might wish we met sooner, we both had to go through what we did to be the person the other needed.
Same exact mindset like since ive already waited this long why give my first kiss etc with anyone. Still waiting though @33 slightly jealous you found your person at 28 but happy for you ! Hope it lasts for life 🙏🏾
As a guy, I feel similar actually. Once you are a virgin over a certain age, you just don´t want to do it with anyone. On the other hand, there is this voice, saying that you probably won´t find that connection anyway. So you might as well just have some fun. But I know if I go there, I´ll probably be emotionally detached for good. I would probably just start using hookers (which is legal in my country) and not bother otherwise. Because if I have sex without love I may as well be pragmatic about it.
57 yo woman and I just want to hug every discouraged single out there. There are certain standards you should never compromise and others you may currently think are important aren’t after all.
21 yr old male here, the issue is simply in meeting ladies. Period. :/ You'd be surprised at how many young women aren't even interested in conversing.
@@mr.metamovies2419I was talking with one dude from a friend group and when I went up to the bar, he was telling the bar tender “the speed dating events never work out because women just want sex and not a relationship”. That was how I noped out so fast. I’ve never met a man that wanted to really chat besides him. The rest just want to have sex and when I say no- they leave. But definitely don’t think most men are like that- the decent men probably are in relationships
26 year old man here is short I have serious trust issues due to past experiences and I won’t go up to an unfamiliar woman anymore so yes I would like that hug
19 yo man and I’m not as old as some of these others but I have been searching and waiting patiently for the right woman far as long as I can remember. Everyone in school always dated because it was cool, but I always wanted to date to marry eventually, which is why nobody ever dated me. I’s hell out here so I am definitely feeling the effects of being chronically single. To sum it all up, I would like a hug 😅
Well...for one thing I can certainly probably guess why the one lady at 9:00 mins in who says she's constantly traveling and 29 and VERY single and always looking.....her problem is I know a LOT of men who after hearing that info on a couple dates with her is going to be massively turned off. All men hear when a woman tell them they are always single and travel alot, is that she probably sleeps around and that something must be off if no guy has bothered to stick around
I’m 38 and a Christian. It’s amazing what people say and how they treat me as a single woman. I’ve given it into Gods hands and moved along. To be honest I am at peace and very happy. Having faith about my life goes a long way towards that.
In case you haven't been open to the opportunity, don't discount single or divorced fathers. Of course they need to have the same morals and values as you. But I was in my 30s when I met and married my husband. He was divorced, had a daughter in college & a teenage son who lived with him. We had no drama or stereotypical stepfamily stuff. We've been married for almost 30 years now. I get along great with his kids and I'm grandma to their kids. Life is truly wonderful all because I married him.
If you are truly happy and it doesnt bother you, than more power to you... though I like to say, do whatever in your power to achieve the fullest life you can do, and that can mean chasing paths you dont know even exist yet.
I'm a Christian woman at 46. I know it isn't easy, but you have the right idea. God knows your heart. Keep praying for the right guy. It took me until I was 43 to find him, after my ex husband cheated on me at 35. I can tell you, it's better to be single than go through that. I'd never wind up with a man like that again. Sometimes, it's just waiting on God to show you the right person! Stay content and keep hoping and praying!
At 27 it’s getting difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel but just like that last girl said, I’m going to continue to be myself and I have a lot of love to give so I have to stay positive. Trusting Gods timing on this
Never compromise on those shared values 🤘 It's like giving each other so much respect even before meeting them... Also after having gone through all of it... Make your childrens understand that being a hopeless romantic is one of the best feelings of all 💚 God bless 🙌
No worries I were you and met my husband at 28. Married in 6 months. Super happy 6 years later. Equally in love if not more. Swedish men are great, I recommend😂
Thank you Brett. This video made me feel so much better. Makes me feel like I'm not alone. I appreciate the advice you have given and will implement that advice going forward.😊
Since Brett mentioned shooting your shot in the comments, here's mine. 27 year old single pringle in Northern IL looking for a Christian guy in late 20s early 30s. I love horses, history, dnd, pirates, sewing, fencing, and reading. Up for adventures. Good family and friend relationships. Work as an administrative assistant. Down to earth. Don't care for drama. I'd rather add to a man's peace than be the source of his stress.
28 year old single guy here, I relate deeply to the chronically single types as defined here and I totally feel for the girl saying “I have so much love to give.” Feel like I’ve said it enough times myself at this point lol
I relate to this so much. I’m a hopeless romantic in thought but I’m either all in for the long haul or nothing at all. I’ve never subscribed to the thought of just dating for fun. I won’t say I love you easily as it’s such a powerful sentiment that needs to be meant. It’s literally making yourself vulnerable to the other person and if they don’t share your convictions about relationships then it leads to disaster.
22 year old single gal. My only tattoo so far says "love more; worry less". I want to build a life with someone, I'm at the point of dating that I will find a stranger and elope lol
“I have so much love to give” is something that I have always believed about myself, but with the hook-up culture, repeat offenders, and casual dating, I have started to tell myself that it’s not the kind of love that people want just yet. And I am not going to keep giving my heart, my time, and my convictions to guys that won’t give it back to me equally.
28 and never been asked out on a date. People who have literally been asked out on all the dates, and met their husband/wife before they turned 20 will look you straight in the face and say "What I did..." And it's the worst, cause like, they've never experienced singleness. Thank you for actually taking this seriously, and listening to people who have this struggle
nobody's expirience is a 100% like yours, none ''what i did''s apply here. I was sooo lonely and desperate before my man, and hit on so many times after married. doesn't make sense
32 and same (never asked out in a date). It definitely hurts because some people take it for granted that you are ruining the relationships you’re in or have too high of standards or something, when it’s really that we’ve never been given the chance to see how we would act in a relationship 😞 praying that you find someone!
It is much easier for women to meet men than the other way around. The main stopping point for women at present is their standards of expectation are too high. If a woman mixes with men and is friendly she will get asked out or see interest from men. Now just meeting a few men will not do it but lots of men in social settings or work place will do it.
I don’t have issues getting dates or being asked out. I had a problem wanting to date someone. I got my first gf at 26 after she made the first moves. I’ve had people do that, but not to this extent. She was special.
My son is 22 and never had a girlfriend. Nice looking, fit and healthy, nice person, good at conversation, kind, well educated, speaks three languages, great professional well paid career ahead of him. He explains that it is really difficult to meet people now and often girls come with a list of unrealistic demands. The world works differently now.
Women overlook him so they can go date and have “fun” with the 6’5 bad boy. Women are brutal, they don’t care how empathetic you are or how many languages you speak. All they care about is what your face looks like and how tall you are. No hate to your son, I don’t make the rules.
Younger 20s here, female. I can confirm. Most girls are dreaming and aren't used to having to "bring something to the table." It's hard to meet people the same age if you don't party and drink. Most of my friends are way older than me because of that. Very nice on the languages. I'm bilingual.
Tell him NOT TO BE NICE. Seriously, women go DRY when a guy is really nice. TELL him to BE A GOOD MAN. THERE Are some great channels on youtube telling the TRUTH about Intersectional dynamics between men and women. Just DO NOT listen to a FEMINIST
THE GREATEST thing anyone has ever told me when I expressed how much pain it causes to be chronically single was ".... shit man, that sounds like it sucks; I'm sorry to hear it" IT WAS TERRIFIC. NO bullshit advice, no worn out platitudes, no "false prophesy" like they're some kind of fortune teller, no "Oh you'll find someone! Just you wait!", nothing. Just "that sucks, I'm sorry to hear it".
@@Jim90117I think you’d have to read their sincerity from their tone and body language, but I agree, it’s often much better to just feel heard than be given unsolicited advice.
@@Jim90117 I can't properly convey the tone; it was deeply heartfelt. It wasn't a casual sort of "Damn that sucks", it was a "I feel your pain and I wish I could help" type of thing.
worst thing ive ever been told is well you dont need a man to have a child. LIKE WHAT?!?! multiple aunties (single and married) tell me to just be a single mother like worst advice ever pls dont ever give advice again.
That is some of the worst advice I’ve ever heard! 😂😂 Your aunties are craaazy. 🤣 I’m as chronically single as the next girl, but there are things that are far worse than being perpetually single. 😂
@@sunny_lis7135 same i told my mom i was worried the older i get and still not married or kids and she said you dont need a man you can have children on your own. I was emotional and got angry at her for advising i be a single mother and deprive children of a father.
The one thing that has helped me is prayer. A couple of months ago my worry of being single until I'm in my 30's (I'm in my early 20's) turned into an anxious mindset and anger and jealousy towards other women who had what I wanted. I eventually couldn't take it anymore and had to ask God to take my negativity and anxiousness away. It worked; and even though I'm still single I can see the ways that God may be preparing me for being a homemaker and motherhood, if that is part of my future. Now, I feel more at peace knowing that I'm following the path God has carved out for me, not the other way around. What a relief it is to let go and let God. I still want to get find the man that will become my future husband and have children, but I have to do it on God's time, not my own. My advice to other single people is, especially if you're Christian, is to pray that God guides your footsteps wherever you go, and that He prepares you to be a good spouse and parent while you are single if it's His will.
This right here is what I have been trying to focus on. I've struggled with temptation, had flings with girls that I knew were bad for me, but I couldn't handle the loneliness. In the last couple years, with the complete decline of the culture, I've started to think maybe I'm just not meant to be with someone, and I should learn to be okay with this. Something hit me in the last few months though. "Seek first the Kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added unto you." I would definitely say that finding a wife has been more important in my heart than seeking God daily, and living my life to honor Him. I think, maybe God is waiting on me to be fully content with Him before He introduces any true love with another person. I can't know, but that's what I should be doing anyways. It's hard to break away from that mindset, but I'm trying.
I was definitely in the same position that you are/were in terms of placing more importance on finding a husband than seeking God. What brought me out of that was being brought to my lowest point. It wasn't just the anxieties that I mentioned before; many people in my life were dying, and I realized very soon that even though I am a believer, I wasn't trusting in and relying on God to grant me peace. In my numbness, I found myself leaning more on God than I had ever before. And it's odd because one would think that I should be cursing God for the people he had taken from me and for not giving me the life I thought I deserved. All of that to say, if you're still at a point where you are not seeking God first, I promise you He will make sure you will; if it happens to you similarly to the way that it happened to me, hold on to Him tightly through the pain. Also, that is a strong Bible verse. I used to think that that verse could incorrectly be interpreted as Seek the kingdom of God SO THAT all these things shall be added to you; that we should only seek God in order to have a prosperous life. But that verse actually means that when we seek God, not for earthly riches or prosperity, but because we have been redeemed through Christ's death, God will bless us in ways that we cannot imagine. There will still be suffering and pain, but I'll take God's way over mine any day because I am imperfect and fail all the time. But our Creator is perfect and never fails.
Thought I would also shoot my shot in the comments so here it goes... I'm a single 25 year old male in Missouri looking for a Christian woman also in her 20's. Hobbies and interests include: woodworking, music (I play bass and piano), waterskiing, homesteading/living off grid, and I've started reading about regenerative agriculture. I enjoy the outdoors and picked up golf again to get outside more. I have a good relationship with my family and that's something I really value. I have a few friends but some moved away or went back home after college. I try and be present in the real world as much as I can, say hi to people when I'm out walking my dog, but it seems like people just say hi back because it's a habit. At the very least maybe I'll make some new friends here! Thanks for reading.
Hey! I'm a single, Christian, 22 year old woman in Texas. Music and homestead-type living have been very important parts of my life! I've recently become more interested in crunchy/natural ways to do everything; I'd love to hear what you've learned in your reading. :)
Hi, not looking to date anyone, but good luck meeting someone! You seem like a really nice guy and a bunch of people would be more than lucky to have you as a partner. Hope you find that person for you ❤️
You sound like a great guy, I hope you are able to find someone! Idk for sure but I think that first person is fake because the account was created three hours ago. Just want you to stay alert against scams😊
@@abbie3550 That comment got my hopes up for sure, but then I checked out the channel and saw that it was created today which set my alarms off. I appreciate the heads up!
I appreciate ya'lls sense of caution; I know it looks suspicious. The truth is in all the time I've been on TH-cam I had never felt the need to comment on anything before, so when I decided I wanted to reach out I had to create a channel. I promise I'm real, but I totally understand where you're coming from.
Yeah the whole "You'll find the one when you're not looking" is the most annoying shit ever. Like hey guess what I'm single and live alone, I rarely leave the house. I'm not going to find anyone when I'm not looking, there is no door to door partner service coming to my door.
You missed the point completely You supposed not to look for a partner but a friend of opposite sex Me for example, never saw girls as girls to date(such boring stuff), yet some of them got sticking to me because I'm charming in mysterious ways Like, friend of my wife asked to say hello to her. Which I did and immediately went back to ma boyz, and the two just followed us Don't look for your person, but get exposed
Did you try dating? Not from apps but from ads online. I think its better from ads. Dating apps are weird to me. From the female perspective: i see a lot of men who look fake to me (gym obsession, photos with filters, etc). A lot of guys are there only to get some. And a male friend of mine who is christian like me says a lot of women rejected him...because he doesnt to jump in bed with them 🤦♀️
@@etcwhatever What do you mean ads? Like ads to date women, as pay for them? Yeah not really interested in that. As far as the apps are concerned they are trash and just as many women lie about themselves in order to get a relationship as men do for sex, they may have different motives but it's just as bad. I've quite literally been on a date with someone who had no working fingers and only two nubs for thumbs, the only clue I had of this was that at one point she said she had osteoporosis I think she was in her late twenties or so she claimed. I honestly didn't know what the hell that was supposed to mean, I assumed she just needed to take prescription calcium supplements or something along those lines. Her profile was carefully curated so as to not really show her hands, a couple pictures had them but they were blocked by her phone. Am I pretty stupid for not paying attention, sure I guess. Typically I'm not checking out someone's profile wondering if they have all their working digits, I assume they do and if they don't they wouldn't hide it. Other women will often post pictures of themselves when they are thinner for their profile and show up looking nothing like their pictures, then I get to either sit through the date anyways or turn into an asshole because of their deception. Honestly even just looking on dating apps is depressing, I don't really want to get into the problems with the apps but yeah, they are total shit and I've had almost nothing but bad experiences with them. Personally I'm probably only really open to meeting women through clubs or activities at this point but it doesn't really feel like an easy way to meet people, doesn't feel like people who join those groups are really looking for friends so much as just something to do so who knows if that method will work but it can't be worse than the damn apps.
@@Anotherguy1st Just so we can understand you do not have much of a life outside your house? Well that is the modern world in a nutshell. Too many people are disconnected from the outside world. You have probably spent a long time indoors already and find the idea of a life outside hard. Men and women have naturally different selection processes. For men it tends to be visually orientated and for women it tends to be emotionally based to include such things as character. Too many women in the modern world associate good looks with confidence. You will find the vast majority of men out there with a partner are confident. There are exceptions.
Being with someone who treats you poorly is a choice. Being unable to have a proper relationship isn’t. Have some gratitude that you can attract someone.
I am a single guy who watches her channel. I wish I had better social skills when I was younger. I have learned a lot over the years but unfortunately, I may be too old to find a wife, which I have been yearning for many years. I am older than millennials and Gen Z. I attend many social events and activities, even activities that are not of particular interest to me, and I use dating apps without achieving many dates.
I heard from Malcolm and Simone, that conservative women are in high demand, and liberal men are in high demand. In their respective areas. In 2025, I will go to Homesteader/farmer/gun ranges/feed stores to look for a man. My pool is narrowed to only Texan men, since I am ride or die for my state. Need a man, who has the same fundamental values as me. 🤠 There's also the fact that if a girl is anything like me, they like to stay home, are hidden, or scarcely go out. I only go out, maybe at most 3-5 times a month? 1- to get my farm animal feed 2- go with my mom to the grocery store 3-go to my cousins house 4-to a drive-thru/miscellaneous store 5-do something important-like picking up baby chicks from the post office To give some insight on why certain types of females may be allusive or appear to not exist at all. 😅
It was out of my comfort zone, but when I was single, I would try to talk to whoever at church events just to make friends. I met my husband and started up a random conversation because I thought he might know my cousin, and he did. I didn't do it with intentions to date him just being friendly, and it worked. I was friendly to so many guys before, and none ended up being my husband, but it got me comfortable enough that when I did meet him, I was able to start a conversation and now we are married.
This is what women need to do more often. Men have a lot of pressure to approach in a non-creepy way and most women are very mean about rejection. Yet most women wont approach men. You guys are you own worst enemies: you only want to date good looking men who have good bodies and make a lot of money. Not all of us men look like Luke Bryan, Younger Brad Pitt, Chesney, or Travis Pastrana.
Wow! Like "be a friendly person" might help? Women need to know that if they don't make eye contact and smile the guy isn't going to talk to them. You just told him you don't want to. But yes!! Be friendly to EVERYONE.
I haven't been on a date since 2018 and haven't been in a relationship since 2016. I thought it was better for me to build a career first, but now I'm 24 with 8 years in a career and start looking and it quickly becomes apparent that that's never going to happen. The worst comment has to be the "you're so lucky" by my married friends. Im so lucky to get to come home to an empty house and an empty bed and no one to ever care about me because what? Because I can have a beer at dinner? Because I can play video games when I get home? So lucky.
damn your comment hits hard. Very relatable. There are so many people around me getting married at 18-20 years old. I'm 21 and have never dated anyone but want to find a husband and have kids.
Dating starts counting after 18 years old. So when people say I’ve been single for 22 years old. No you’ve been single for 4 years. It doesn’t count below 18. You are not supposed to be in a relationship at 5 years old etc.
There is some truth to it, but I'm pretty sure it's important to gain first experiences in your childhood. I was a fat child and was avoided by girls. Now Im fit and successful but completely falter under the pressure of trying to get a woman romantically involved with me.
I’m 35 and never been in a relationship. Heard all of this and more (add a dash of well-meaning church people advice) and none of it changed a thing. Had to give up my dreams of children and a husband. But I am doing okay now. My identity isn’t about being single. I write, have friends, am a proud Auntie, work in my church. Still not a career woman but I pay my bills. I am blessed.
@@kcb8130 calm down! One of the main reasons people are struggling these days to find someone is because of social media and it's causing people to be less social in the real world.
@HD-jb9ju not directly or literally. But there was plenty of encouragement to avoid real life contact. And yes women by the millions have communicated by there words and deeds that they dislike the idea of 99.9999% of men approaching them.
The lightbulb moment for me that being single is okay is realizing how much finding someone else that would be happy with me would be a girl friend (before being a girlfriend). Common drives, passions, and hobbies are much better icebreakers than trying to date at the first step. Then it has to be someone who enjoys being around me and finding common purpose and THEN things lining up in her life to also like me. After all, it's gotta be mutual for both parties. Realizing that made me realize there isn't some magical combination I need to get a real deep relationship. It's not "getting a woman." It's about being chosen when and if the relationship is right. In the meantime, develop friendships, work on personal excellence and enjoy life! It's a win-win.
I thank divine providence I dont need to be around people to have a good time or to enjoy myself. More often than not I enjoy being alone/solitary. Its pretty much impossible to find people who are into this as they would be more like me, alone or solitary LOL. I guess these things hurt people who are naturally extroverted, as it would be torture for them. I am not that way at all. I would enjoy life being this way into the future no problem. I have been this way since my 20s. I can remember in high school I was this way and would go out of my way to not be around people. I would take my lunch breaks in the library in a back room to get away from everyone LOL. It was such a relief to be in a quiet room by myself. It was easy then as it is easy today. I work in the trades and commercial work so I rarely run into people. I love it.
@@therealmcgoy4968 I'm somebody similar, with the added issue of having been bullied VICIOUSLY throughout my entire school years - had issues making friends those years since trust issues existed (including rejecting an invitation to get to know a lady I really liked better in high school - probably for the best - I was a low confidence, practically zero self-esteem person back then and as a result any relationship would have been doomed in any case - it worked out pretty well for her either way, as she has a husband she adores and several kids these days), but the benefit of being a bookworm which developed an early love for fantasy, scifi and horror literature. Took me MANY years after leaving school of even REMOTELY trusting people again, and even then, giving my trust only to people who have earned it - I work in a service industry, so unfortunately, I HAVE to work with people, and rarely get the opportunity to work on my own or at remote locations. That pulled me from my shell as an introvert, but I still prefer doing my own thing (in terms of interests and/or hobbies) and my own way when not working.
I have never related to a video so much. Thank God I have found the most amazing, incredible man, but before him, I was a chronically single girl, who had never really been in a relationship, but wanted to love someone so badly it hurt. I empathize with all of these people wanting to genuinely care about someone and be the best significant other they can be, but it’s just not happening. All of the advice I got from my friends was just so crappy and they never understood my urgency and fear about finding someone. I’m sending so much love to anyone in this season of life. You really are doing all the right things, and I’m cheering you on :)
About to be 31 in a few weeks, and also chronically single. In addition to all of the comments, I also get “but you’re so pretty!” I grew up in Utah, and even though I’m not part of the Mormon church, I grew up around that culture. My sense of “normalcy” was oh you get married around 20. I had friends, classmates, and even people in graduation classes after mine get married right after high school (I used to work in a pediatric office in college and I would see former classmates or even girls who were younger than me from high school in there all the time). Growing up I was always hopeful that one day it would just happen for me. That either I would find the one or at least have my first date before 25. My hope really did break after 25, and even though I’m trying to stay positive or stop looking or go on dating apps, talk to the guy first, etc etc, I get lonelier and more into trying to make myself accept that maybe I’m just going to be single for the rest of my life. What sucks is I’m a hopeless romantic too. I would have loved having a childhood sweetheart, being asked to prom, held hands, had their first kiss around 16, etc. I just saw a TikTok of a girl who met her husband on a plane because he was sitting next to her, like dude I leave for a trip this Thursday. Could that happen to me please?! 😅
I've come to realize that there have been at least 2 occasions in my life where I probably missed a really good opportunity to connect with a woman. I simply missed the signals and didn't do my part. Maybe you could keep that in mind . . . and if you meet a poor guy like that . . . give the both of you an extra chance by making a compensating effort yourself (!) Best of luck on Thursday . . .
I truly feel for people searching for love. It's challenging to get out there and meet a compatible person. However I do agree that willingness to connect with others who share similar values is important. I met my husband of 10 years through my best friend who went on a date with him first. She nudged me to reach out to him. I'm a shy person but trusted her enough to give it a chance. I'm so grateful that I did. Now we've been married for 10 years and have 2 little girls. I wish others out there who want the same all the luck!
I didn’t even know about that term until just recently on here. Going to be 28 and although I’ve been a loner most of my lifetime, there does come a time that after you learn about yourself, having to love another person becomes 10x stronger. Brett articulates that fact best about setting up your standards in a partner for marriage after working on yourself. I’m so glad there’s a community being built for people like this!
Hi from Singapore 🇸🇬.. I just learnt a new term and I feel like my whole life is flashing before my eye while watching this video 😂 As a ‘chronically single’ for 29 years, I’ve been asked by a lot of friends that went ‘u’ve never dated! How come?’ Well 😑if only I knew that then I won’t be here now m I? Another thing is “ohh you are not missing out on much” said by my friend in a serious live in relationship!! 😣at this point it’s just really exhausting… Also my 9 hrs shift job doesn’t help with my social life at all🥲 now I’m just ranting … this topic is so funny but also very relatable… amazing video as always 🧡🤗
@@-lord1754 wow... so your worldview is so out of whack that you think every single 23 year old woman is a baby momma?! You assigned that assumption that quickly... I can't imagine how you act IRL. No wonder so many of these bitter single losers are bitter and single.
To be fair, actively looking for a partner is a waste of time. The nightlife is filled with those repeat offenders, as is the internet just with the added risk of scammers. The advice in the video, of just doing things you like to do has the best chances tbh. As it does put you in contact with people that hold simular interests. I have the most fun with workshops and conventions. Regardless of meeting women, I tend to connect with people at those places due to shared interests.
@@cerberus1595 I agree I'd rather have somebody interested in the same things I am. No point in trying to force something with somebody that doesn't share your interests. But I do understand I got to be a bit more social I'm pretty content Just working and doing my thing on my off time. Sure I do think about having a girlfriend/wife however you want to see that. It does suck at times but this is much better than being with the wrong woman and all the drama that comes with that. Which is one major reason I've just stopped trying learned a big lesson last time but I should have known in the first place, older and wiser now.
Because that is dumb feminist talk actually. And frankly, Brett is basically a CHILD. Look, a person wanting to be married and start a family NEEDS to be proactive.
I’m 23 (soon will be 24) and single. I am very personable at work, go to events with my friends , and go to church every Wednesday, Sunday, and often the other days of the week! I love the Lord and I’m looking for a husband not someone to take my firsts from me. I’ve dated two guys before that I ultimately didn’t like because I only liked their values and not them as people. It is very difficult out in the dating sphere these days. My siblings and friends are all married and most have kids. At this point I’m waiting for God and his timing for all this. I can’t make my future husband appear and I can’t plan for when it happens, all I can do is keep an eye out for the opportunity and make sure I’m worthy and ready when it happens!
Sounds like you have the right mindset on this. God knows how you're feeling and will bring the right one at the right time! It might not make sense now but all of it will be worth it when you find each other.
... 'only liked their values not them as people'... What you meant by saying that.... By the way you are beautiful but more than that precious for your values never let them go as a man with the same heart ache Iam telling you those shared values will be worth as much as your time together...Iam from all the way around the globe in India... So let's pray for each others dreams to come true 🤝
I'm 31 from Colorado I enjoy being with my church family as often as possible, and spend time daily in the word and prayer. Id like to talk if you interested if nothing else a friend in Christ is always a blessing 🙏
contradictory opinion: Christianity is a cult based on the "buy bull" - a backwards fantasy-fiction book with talking trees, talking animals, zombies, 950 year old people, and mythical global flooding. So "waiting for god and his timing" will never happen (because god doesn't exist)
All of these videos are really good in showing how most woman and guys think when they are signal and I'm there with them. I'm 43 and I haven't EVER EVER had a gf in my years. I have had crushes and that's all I ever feel happens. I seem to lose them by going in to deep on showing my appreciation to them. Now I have learned over my several years (about 2 or 3 years ago) that I'm understanding not to go all in and let go and see what happens but I don't want to let go and watch it sail off into the sunset and I never am able to grab on it it EVER again. I hope this works and we will see what happens. Thanks Brett for these videos you do. They do help and I really do enjoy how you look at things. Getting to see someone else's views on life and how they react or understand it. Thanks for that!
I also think a lot of people give up too soon because "they dont tick every box". Compromise is essential in a relationship, so sometimes our boxes need to be revaluated to make sure we aren't placing ourselves on a high pedestal.
Totally agree! I believe people have this idea of the perfect person, and are too scared of missing out on them. Obviously nobody should settle on important things but nobody is going to be perfect.
Thank you Brett. As a 35 year old I got tired of asking for advice. I hate “Just BE yourself “ Being myself is hibernating hiding from civilization. No single men in my home. I wish my grandparents were still here. I know I would have gotten a good advice. Like my grandma telling me I made it harder for me when I shaved my head in my late teens. My grandma was my best friend and a girls girl.
I hibernate sometimes too, it's a necessity when you're an introvert. I sure wish my grandpa was still here, I think of his advice daily, he was a man's man but had a soft side as well. I've been to Bear Lake, not sure if it was the same as yours, but it was peaceful and serene. Do you like to go kayaking?
Hate that advice too. Being yourself means not improving. Not fixing your obvious flaws. At the very least it should be: "Be the best version of you that you can be."
I mean I joined clubs and Hobbie like groups and that's how I found my husband, I found him at church (Im really into book reading and he came by to talk to me and asked me what kind of books I liked then we had chemkstry) i dropped all the other ones who were interested. Theres plenty of people that join social groups that want to start off as genuine friends and you can get to know slowly overtime. I find being friends first feels less rushed and you grow a connection with them and their friends too, because people engage in their hobbies their true colors show more.
@@rrrealqueen yes I live in a tiny village with majority being relatives. I’m my case I’m waiting to move out of my community. But at the moment my ma and I are getting things sorted after my pops passing. Really now I’ve been doing a lot of healing since then.
Isn't that means to be better version of yourself by default? Meaning if you're hibernating goblin "being yourself" would mean to be hibernating goblin that seeks way to be included in society, since humans are social animals in their core Being yourself is meaning not to try being someone else's person right from the start I was myself and joked that "girls are not needed" Yet my wife laughed it off and caught me eventually. And since I'm stuck in my house person, I just invite her over quickly and proposed to sleep at my place, since we both go to the same college, why not?
Been hearing all of this for years. That’s how I was in college, and now I’m 40, and it’s still the same. Most of my friends are divorced or wish they could be. So at this point, I’m just living my life with my family and friends, and while I’m at a point where I might never have kids, I’m happy with who I am as a person and glad I never settled. While I’d love to have someone bc I do get lonely, my self worth isn’t attached to who I’m dating or being in a relationship.
Some people are blessed with not seeing themselves as promising parents, which makes easier for them to not value themselves lower for not implementing themselves as parents
Me around all my friends: "Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!" Me around just myself: "I'm jealous like you wouldn't believe. No, I don't want yours, but I want what you have."
You can be both at the same time, and that's okay. Longing for what someone has doesn't mean you can't also be truly happy for what they've found. I am often both, and it's good to be happy for others, even if we want to be selfish about it inside. Yes, I am also chronically single.
I was there. I cried so hard. I hated all the advice that they complain about. I was 25 before I had a serious relationship- or anything close. Your advice to be out with a social group is what lead me to where I am now- 10 years married this year. I was in prayer crying about not having a family of my own and then it hit me like a ton of bricks- create one. So I started having “family dinners” with other friends weekly while in law school. Not only did I marry a friend I became close to there, a lot of people ended up dating each other with the constant sense of connection we all had. In response to the need to love someone and have all that love to give. My husband and I created not only a family with our beautiful biological children, but also to now 7 fosters who have come and gone from our home- giving them love and a home so they feel love. I was so starved of love for so long, I never wanted a child to feel that.
Yep 27 year old blue collar guy here, and seems that I am now the only single friend in the entire friend group. This year so far my friends are either having children, getting married, or just getting into relationships while ive been trying for over 2 years now and cant get a single date to save my life. Not one dating app has produced one match that went further that 2 back and forth messages. I am a homeowner, part business owner, president of a non profit, dont party, or waste money at the bar, decent looking and still nothing. This video hit close to home, good job on the coverage Brett.
22, never had a relationship longer than 5 months because we would never be on the same page for our futures. Dating apps for me have either been only talking or hook ups.
I’m 29, male, have a stable job, and am from the Midwest. I recently got back into the dating scene via apps and have been struggling. I have been doing social activities too (running groups, ballroom dance lessons, & BJJ), though these are mostly to improve my own health & confidence. I want to remain hopeful that I’ll meet someone wonderful, but it’s getting tougher lately. I’m not getting any younger, after all. As I’ve said before, if I am to remain “chronically single” for the rest of my life, then I at least want to cultivate the strength and self-love to keep carrying on and enjoy my own life. Thanks for letting me vent here. To the other single folks that eventually find what you’re looking for, I hope your relationship is happy and lasts a lifetime!
@@Cici6392 Thank you! If you’re in the same boat, I hope that you find what you’re looking for as well! If you’re already in a relationship, then I hope that it’s a happy and long one for you!
@@mormegil84 Thank you as well! It hasn’t been easy, but I certainly do not want to become bitter from my setbacks. In the meantime, I’m doing my best to make my own fulfilling life. All the best to you as well!
Alex was correct. As a chronically single 28 year old woman, I don’t really want to hear anything or any advice. For me, when people try to give me advice or “encourage” me, all it really does is discourage me and make me feel like I am the one that is flawed and doing wrong when society has pushed and pushed hook up culture, focusing on yourself, dating apps, and moving away from the belief that the purpose of dating is to find your future spouse. I am glad that so many people are waking up and seeing that this is a serious issue in our society today, but as a woman who has dreamed of finding a godly man with common core values to build and raise a family with, it breaks my heart that this is even a common occurrence. “I have so much love to give” and “I only need one”, I can relate to those quotes so much.
The vast majority of men and women were never into hook up culture. It is a media creation and is not real. A small number of people are into it but that has always been the case. The solution for young people as a whole is to meet more people. It is much easier for a women to find a partner than it is for a man but for the men it is a much larger window of time available to them.
Totally unrelated to anything. But I have had my eye on that mug and saucer for almost a year now. Seeing it in your videos I recently decided to just buy it! It was delivered today! It is even more adorable than it is in picture/video! Decor, a mug & a saucer! Win win win! 💟
Thank you for allowing us to be frustrated! Please don’t ever say “just don’t think about it,” that’s never helpful 😂 also, “if you were just more x then I’m sure you’d find someone” Linda, there are people out there who stay with cheaters, I don’t think I have to work on my morals or values to finally be worthy of finding someone, thank you very much. I think allowing us to be frustrated is very helpful, and also keeping us in mind for events where other singles will be (not necessarily setups that aren’t much better than dating apps in my opinion). I also appreciate you wanting to help!
I'm 29, and I am finally at peace with being single. Being a professional mathematician can be pretty lonely, but there are women out there for someone like me. I was blessed to meet a woman like that within the past two years, although the time was not right for either of us. Still, I pray for her. Take this time being single as a way to resolve issues like past trauma and immaturity, and never lose hope. If it's right, it'll come. Don't sweat it.
“The time just wasn’t right” is lazy, there’s never gonna be a “right time” for things it’s either worth it or not. And clearly it just wasn’t that great and worth it, for either of you.
@@LailorGG Maybe she's in a relationship, or student teacher position? had a friend married her student after a decade of dating though. They put in the time, even when they started at a wrong time. Now it work out for them with 2 kids.
Id say don't try to look for someone with the exact interest. But rather someone else just as passionate about their interest. And even better it be an academic interest. And then y'all lift each other up in support of y'all's own thing. That's what I've done. And we have plenty of other things we like to do together, but our absolute favorite thing is different, but we can both appreciate what we like. And even learn more about the others interests. Find someone who loves to uplift you and what you love, and do the same for them
If you want to help some of your single friends and you feel like they might get along throw a game night or bbq and invite your single friends, give them a space to have fun and get to know new people. (That's what I've been trying to do since I got engaged then married).
If you're friends are single and you're not, you need new friends. Singles and couples don't mix. Let the singles go and stop rubbing your success in their face. They'll come back when their married if you share interests. What you're doing makes singles feel pressured to partner up. Which makes it harder for them.
I hate to break it to you, but those people are taking a shot at you. They're telling you something about you is holding you back, but they're to weak to be honest with you.
@@tgdelta better to self reflect rather than depending on people that wouldn't be honest with you in the first place... Some question deserves to be answered by you alone
I'm 33, been single for 7 years now, I'm not a good looking guy and I suffer from severe social anxiety, so just talking to people in general is hard, especially when it come to small talk. For many people I probably even come of as creepy, so I kind of just stay away, unless there is a genuine connection with the other person, which almost never happens. I'm not giving up though. I accepted that I have to play the game of life on hard mode and that makes the accomplishments feel more rewarding. Nobody is the same. It's easier for some people, it's much harder for others. You just have to play the cards you're dealt and try to find a solution that works for you. One thing is for sure though. It won't happen by itself and without putting the necessary effort.
@@HereIAm247 We talking adoption or just hookinng up with a guy and hoping to get pregnant? Because the hooking up option is going to cause so much more heartbreak for you and your child.
@@neurologylove2135 I was thinking fertility treatment and things like that. But I find it fascinating that you assume, based on my comment, and the original comment, that the latter is something I would consider. Why do you feel the need to push that agenda into a conversation about wanting a family?
@@neurologylove2135 youre totally assuming here that men are still willing to risk that lawsuit to gain alimony from them for it... That casual bareback hookup stuff is pretty much considered a common alimony scam waiting to happen in men's eyes...
I met my husband in a rock climbing gym, 14 years ago. Definitely a great place to meet a future spouse! We now have a wonderful marriage and three kids. Honoring Jesus with your dating relationship MATTERS. If you can resist sleeping with each other when you really want it, it adds so much security to your marriage later!
Im 42 and chronically single. Always been told the tropes ad nauseam. And it's even worse when it's being told by people who have no concept of what it's like to always being not good enough. All I've ever wanted out of life is to have a wife and children, a reason to continue getting up in the morning, to actually have someone else to share life with.
Great comment! My sister is 41 and all she wants is to be a wife and mom. Wish I could set you two up😊. Though some people don't like getting set up I suppose
@@etcwhatever So sad to hear women are struggling just as much as us men, strange how if both men AND women are struggling for relationships you'd think they'd just find each other.
Sounds cliché, but getting a dog was the best motivator for me to get up in the morning, go outside and do a walk. And once you're up the day has started and you might as well participate in it.
For me, you gotta pray for your person. I remember telling myself when I was separated. He is working a lot to save money for us to have a home or he’s probably traveling or his family member passed away and he needs time to grief. Then bam, we engaged.
Blue collar man pursued my crazy ass. He was 40 I was 26 but he loved me where i was, gave me patience, perspective, and the responsibility i was craving. I get to wake up everyday, get his breakfast and lunch ready and our daughter wakes up, this is the dream. He never wants me to work he loves me fully and does everything for us. Every single day he comes home with surprises for us. He calls me 3x everyday and tells me all about his job/people he's working with/side work, and when he gets home, we hang out, and he tells me his future plans. I love him. He loves me. There's nothing 3 yrs ago that could've told me we would ever be here. I've grown as a human being, i got through anorexia, have my bipolar disorder under control, and i live a full life. These amazing men are out there. And I hope these women meet someone who shakes their world up and shows them what living in love is. Especially if you aren't religious. A man like that makes you believe in being here for a reason.
As a 27 year old man who's never had a long-term relationship despite consistently "putting myself out there," the advice men need on dating can only truly come from the women we date. The issue is that most women, after telling a guy that she don't want to see him anymore, won't give an actual reason, even if she's asked. I've been told at least a dozen times by women who align with my faith, morals, and politics, some variation of "I just didn't feel a connection, but I think you're a great guy!" I know this comes from a good place in the heart of women that they don't want to hurt a guy's feelings telling him why she wasn't attracted to him, but not telling him, even when he asks to know, doesn't help. All men who are stuck in the perpetual cycle of dating want to know how they can improve, and the only ones who really hold the knowledge to how they can improve are those women they have dated. Maybe he's too reserved when he's with a woman, or maybe too outgoing. Maybe he needs to work on listening more than speaking on dates. Maybe he needs to do a better job at showing signs of affection when he's with a woman he's starting to care about. Ladies, I know it's hard to tell a guy why he wasn't the one for you, but if he doesn't know he'll torture himself a thousand times worse than you ever could, and he'll never know how to grow as a man and as a real suitor for an eventual husband and father. I don't know if this level of transparency and honesty is sought by women too. I completely understand why women might not want to exactly why she was rejected by men. But ladies, gents, let me know your thoughts on the matter. Brett, if you ever see this comment, Billie Rae Brandt had a great reel about this a few months back. Might be worth a video.
Definitely. This is a great insight--and is true vice versa... bring on the courage and humility! I think it's so great that you're intentional to ask women this, and no doubt helps you get closer to attracting the type of person who would appreciate that as well. I'm also 27, and can relate with what you said. I really think men and women in our generation often "miss out" on seeing the true heart of each other, because of a lack of effort to ask honest intentional questions, listen, and understand each other. There's depth to each person. From my perspective, someone not being able to offer some insight into why they declined you, reveals a lack of consideration in their decision. On the other hand, a loving person, will be quite attentive. While not getting feedback is disappointing, if you truly value finding someone who is a good communicator and puts in effort, you saved yourself from more disappointment! You deserve to be with someone who genuinely prefers you, much less someone who can't even put in the effort to help point you in the right direction. Anyways, keep it up! I think you're headed in the right direction!
I think the simplest answer and explanation is that she just doesn’t like you, that’s exactly what it is, she feels no connection, and this doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you or you have to change something, it means that person is just not yours, not for you, or sometimes they might feel that even you don’t feel any connection with them, so it goes both ways
@@cursed5359she doesn’t have the spine or she doesn’t have the heart to tell you? Telling someone you rejected them for being unattractive is pointless at best and hurtful at worst.
34 year old male in Illinois here. Never been in a relationship, on a date, kissed, or even held hands with a woman. Grew up sheltered and religious and was told to focus more on school and getting a good job. Tried dating apps for a year and despite putting serious effort into it, all I got were bots. Ended up deleting the apps because it just made me feel worse about myself than I did before I even tried them. Now I just go to work at my IT job, then come home and spend my time reading, watching old movies, and listening to music or audio dramas while playing retro video games. I'm naturally an introvert and a homebody so I dont really go out for any social reasons or lead what others would call an exciting life. Im under the mindset now that if I do end up in a relationship, its because God wanted me to at that moment in my life
You are a classical case study of modern young men but you are now in middle age. For a women the process of finding a man is much easier and they have the option of being selective. For men the process of finding a women is much more difficult because they have so much more that they have to display and require much greater levels of interaction to achieve it. The flip side for men is that they have a wider selection window in regards to time. So if you were a women the clock would be running out. At the heart of this crisis in society is the lack of mixing between me and women. Here is the thing as well it is much easier for men to select women that are more attractive than they are but it is not the case for women. The man problem for you to challenge and to work on is confidence. It is the very thing that you should hone in on. WOmen have a natural instinct that can sense a lack of confidence from several molecular chains away.
I can completely empathize. Live in southeast Wisconsin, 10 minutes from the WI/ IL border but briefly lived in Crystal Lake until age 4. Turned 34 at the end of May. Never been on a date with a guy; no kiss, no holding hands, and certainly no sex...so pathetically body count is zero. I'm just average looks at best. Took care of myself despite all my medical issues and random extra rare physical injuries. Am 5'7" and 128lbs which used to be 110-115lbs before my heart weirdly gave out at age 25 at my fittest at 14% body fat and 98.9 lean muscle mass as I was a gym rat with weights before it was popular on top of riding. Never liked drinking or the bar and club scene. Think hookup culture is disgusting and would never do a ONS or casual sex. While I grew up overly religious due to my parents and my private Christian school as well as a veey sheltered upbringing, I wouldn't be opposed to sex before marriage if I was in a committed, monogamous, serious relationship. Am an old soul as my now late grandparents and my aunt raised me on the classic movies from the 30s to early 70s and listened to 30s and 40s swing and Big Band music as well as 50s and 60s music from my dad's era and would go to Beach Boys, Smokey Robinson, Santana, etc concerts with him. Since 9 years old, I liked being by myself and could entertain myself...peace and quiet. Was immersed in books. Loved traveling all over the world. Never wanted kinds after my parents volunteered me to babysit for some neighbors children; made up my mind at 12-13 that I NEVER wanted kids as they were too much work, I was too independent and selfish and not maternal. Would've liked to have gotten married to a man who didnt want kids. Though I did volunteer at various places, my favorite being at a therapeutic riding center for years and really cared for some of these kids who made my chronic pain disorders and health problems look inconsequential. However, my dad is my hero...was and still am Daddy's Big Princess...and hold him on a pedestal as what I'd look for in a future boyfriend/fiance/husband (but those guys like my dad don't exist anymore or even in the last 13 years) as I see what he and my mom have for 45+ years married and how he took care of me when I got life-alteringly sick at just age 15 with around 20 EXTREMELY rare complex incurable and intractable pain disorders and health problems that span over a dozen different fields and subspecialty fields of medicine that became my full-time job with my dad who became my advocate and the only person who understood and was strong enough for me to completely lean on as I was forced to become dependent just to survive mentally and emotionally while going through physical hell taking me to over 600+ doctors and specialists, appointments, countless ER trips, emergency surgeries, multiple hospitalizations and and traveling the ENTIRE country to all the top ranked hospitals world-wide, some 2-3x like Mayo Clinic and Cleveland Clinic as well as so many others, to no avail which everything literally robbed me of my life--teenage years, 20s, and now early 30s, took all my joys and all my hobbies and passions like reading, photography, horseback riding--jumping and dressage, world travel, concerts, plays, claasic movies fro,m thr 30s-60s, sporting events--especially college and pro football and am lucky to have premium generational seats 12 rows up right next to the home tunnel at Lambeau for Packers games thanks to my late grandpa, working out, going to college (forced to stay close to home going to doctor appointments vs going to any of the Big 10 or SEC universities I got in to--though I do have an associate's degree as I couldn't continue any further with my debilitating, excruciating eye pain, my plan originally was to either double major or likely get a Master's in Nutrition and Exercise Science as I loved working out and love football so would've tried to pursue a career in that vein, getting a job/career, etc. I never put myself out there (or really never even had the opportunity to do so like a normal college student who then entered the workplace where I'd be exposed/around guys) as I was so mature for my age even before I got life-alteringly sick; and when I got sick, I had the emotional and mental maturity of someone in their mid 40s and again never understood the drinking and clubbing or bar scenes which seemed juvenile and stupid. I couldn't relate to immature and mentally and emotionally weak people my age or even 10 years older. And honestly, even if I put myself out there, what actually good, stable man who was raised with and shares my similar morals and values would want to put up with someone like me who would just be a burden to him when he could have a healthy woman, again, even though none of this is my fault...? Zero. I fought like hell for a decade until I finally broke. Honestly, I don't know anyone who could do and go through what I have since age 15 and literally have my entire life taken from me. I won't live to 40 as without my dad--who is 77--with me and no doctors willing to prescribe all my necessary high dose quantities of opiods along with my longtime Xanax and Ambien thanks to pansy doctors who have no balls or ethics and also the meddling, lying, corrupt CDC and FDA that get in between a patient and doctor relationship and dictate what should be prescribed and doctors take the guidelines as law; honestly wasn't supposed to live past age 29 as I was supposed to die 5 days before my golden 30th birthday in Europe where doctor patient assisted euthanasia is legal. It's been 18 ongoing years of living hell.
@@kelseyk530 Thanks for the reply, sounds like we had similar upbringings and views. I'm sorry to hear about your medical issues and I hope things get better for you. God bless you 🙏
I completely agree with them it is so annoying to hear these things and when you want a serious relationship, get married and have children. Chronically single for 30 years. Every year I go to weddings two or three times a year and hear about a friend becoming a parent. And you're wondering when it will be your time too
Mad respect for Brett encouraging people to use the comment section to actively improve their lives and make connections! 26 male in Michigan here, looking to relocate someday because of how liberal this state is, if the geography works out well hit me up, I promise I'm definitely a catch.
Bro, you just called yourself a catch. Imagine I go on here and say, Guys you should totally marry me. I'm so hot and intelligent and funny. Believe me, I'm a great catch. Would that kind of message hold appeal to you, or would it come across as kind.of boastful and tacky? So mayyyybe in your search for love you should consider rephrasing and rearranging how you present yourself to women. I'm sure this commentary was unwanted, but I hope you do great in life, if you deserve it
@@305Independent nah we all cooked brother It's the world we live in,not us. Porn,dating apps,shitty economic state, less friends,social media, consumerism, sex culture..... Dont feel bad about it. Think about this mathematically. If you are single then it means that another person of the other gender is single as well. So if you are a guy and are single and wont find someone,a woman on this planet won't find her husband. And the same vice versa.
This was a breath of fresh air for me. I just turned 26 & my biological clock is ringing like crazy as I've always wanted a large family. However I'm in a season where I'm finally getting help for my trauma & getting empowered to make something of myself & my life. It's hard when I want to enjoy this as it's really a dream coming true but at the same time I'm terribly lonely & want to be a wife & mother so badly. I'm trusting God to bring the right man at the right time. I can't even handle men touching me due to trauma so I know dating seriously is not good until I've healed more. My goal is to become a woman who can love & be a strong, capable life partner. A woman who'll be a man's greatest treasure in life. The longer I'm single the higher my standards climb & the stronger they hold.
Glad to hear you are recovering from your traumas. Touch is an important part of human interaction and intimacy, especially between men and women, so it’s good to focus on that. Also, it may be good to see a therapist who deals specifically in trauma if you have not already. They can do wonders truly.
I married my wife when I was 21 and she was 20. We dated with the intention of getting married and we talked about where we wanted things to go and we didn’t shy away from difficult or awkward conversations. We’ve been married for 12 years and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Hope everyone is able to find something similar. GOOD LUCK PEOPLE!
I just wanna say I'm so glad I found your channel! You're quickly becoming one of my favorites and I'm binging all your videos and even sending them to my boyfriend lol 😂
I’m trying to work on myself and find acceptance and peace in being single. I’d love to be married one day, but I can’t find anyone with similar values. I’m still saving myself for marriage but unfortunately a lot of girls judge me for that which is frustrating, especially cause even the girls I meet at church don’t want to wait or they aren’t really Christian anymore and just go with their families.
Yeah, Church isn’t the solve-all here. Women who judge you for wanting to wait until you’re married are NOT the kind of women you want to be with anyway if you’re serious about following Jesus. And especially not if they’re in Church saying stuff like that. That’s a massive red flag. I have to say, my parents are a testament to “It happens when you least expect it.” Neither of them were looking for anything when God put them together. They’ve been married for like 28 years, but together for over 30. It happens in His timing
Every night, I pray for my future husband and that God will bring us together at the right time... and also for patience. I do this because there was a time when my mom was praying for her future husband, and it just so happened to at about the same year as my dad's family (years before they met) were considering checking out the charismatic Jim Jones, but you know... they just kinda never got around to it. Almost 40 years together and here I am doing the same thing, looking for comparable results someday.
36 and in the same boat. Got into shape a few years ago but haven't noticed much until this year. I'm good looking and been having 8s check me out. I've even had underaged girls initiate which was weird cause they likely have been in a few relationships already. Keep working on yourself. Start making small talk with any women. I usually spark up a conversation with cashiers. It's not much but it's a start to getting better at talking with all people. Here's the best advice for when you start actively talking with a girl. Get to know them as friends first. Whatever you do don't seem overtly attached and desperate. Happened to me a few times with women, most recently I was talking with this millionaire Ukrainian women and didn't catch my bad comments that showcased attachment. She asked me not to contact back but I plan on sending her a well thought out letter since we was hitting it off well. I'm gonna wait and see if she texts back within 2 weeks before send it cause I've noticed she's still checking out pics of me. Last bit of advice, start praying. God notices our pain and this is why I believe I got this past opportunity.
My husband & I got pregnant after 9 years of marriage (32 years old) & life is so much better with a baby! So much more responsibility in a good way & so much to look forward to.
I'm a chronically single 32yo man. I was engaged once, but she called it off a few days before the ceremony and declared herself a lesbian. It was like a movie. I really related to the guy saying he wants to be able to play with his kids. It's awful out there.
I’m terminally single… after so many years, it’s not even an option… my sister keeps reminding me how “lucky” I am and reiterating how much she doesn’t want a relationship… she’s been married five times.. 🤦🏼♀️ I have heard it all
I am 22, 23 in a month, and was chronically single my entire life. Never had sex, never kissed, hell never even held a girls hand before. Met a girl a month ago, and now I see the world completely differently. Everyone around us has been trying to break us up and we only become closer as a result. I never thought life could be so sweet until I met her. To all my single people out there, there is someone out there for u. Keep going, and good luck.
@@harsh3948 actually both strangely enough. She’s Mexican, actually she lives in Mexico but she’s working in the USA, and she’s 19. I’m Israeli. Does that have something to do with it?
I HAVE AN AMAZING IDEA: Brett needs to create a dating app for like-minded people, dating with intention with a focus on meeting IRL and touching grass (together). There should be a limit though on how many people you can talk to at once because it gets overwhelming. Cap it at maybe 3-5? Also v cute re: husband!! Happy he’s finally on the show 😊
A nice idea on paper, reality would be much worse. Bots, catfishing, OF self promoting, and that's not even getting into the weeds of how anyone would find each other. And the financial costs to create, operate and maintain it. How to determine for any hypothetical user who their 3 - 5 matches are, and what happens if the user doesn't like any of those 3 - 5 matches? The user can and potentially will continue to keep swiping looking for the best option, so the app would have to figure out how to solve that problem ontop of everything else. Maybe a work around would be that the app matches people 3 - 5 automatically based on sone set of user submitted series of hierarchies/values and preferences, and then they have the option to engage further or not. Moving user choice to secondary status though might discourage users from sticking around. People are fickle and choosy especially when it's at a distance.
@@thegrimharvest it already exists, there are apps where you only talk to one person at a time. If it’s not a match you unmatch and move on. You also both need to swipe yes on each other first, so you’re not talking to everyone. It’s definitely possible and worth looking into because what we have available now simply isn’t working and plays on people’s want for the “next best thing”.
A wise man once told me " figure out where your going, then find someone who is on the same path "
Another wise man is telling you now…
Show me a woman who knows who she ACTUALLY is…
And I’ll show you a unicorn riding a dragon while crapping diamonds.😉👍🥃
There is none on the exact PATH.
Be the path worth following and lead the way.
Wise men can't spell you're?...
That’s pretty damn good advice, actually
I met my husband in Brett Coopers IG comment section, back in Sept 2022. We're expecting a baby girl this September 🥹 Thank God for Brett & TDW ❣️
Congratulations! Wish the two of you all the best!
Congrats, that's funny to hear !
Gotta be the weirdest place to meet someone
@@memyselfandi432 thank you 🥰
@@907Rome can't get any better than similar interests and values! 😄
Saw chronically single and clicked so fast because story of my life lol
Fr
Fr
We all know that when a vvoman says she's been single her entire life she does not mean celibate by any means.
fr fr
Sure, lady.
My favorite one is "You're still young, you have time," told by my sister, who is 5 years younger than me and in a relationship longer than all of my past relationships combined. 😂😂😂
My 7yr younger sister says the same thing to me and she is already married and has had a longer relationshio than I have ever had. I feel this lol
@@Sybiiee When did she meet him?
@@samstromberg5593 high school/church
oh😭
My 7 years younger sister has been in a relationship for almost 3 years. I've not made it beyond 3 dates with anyone :)
the way brett’s eyes glisten while talking to her husband is what we all hope for one day
simp
He looks like a college guy, is he the same age as her?
@@harsh3948 Brett's husband's a little older. Brett is 22, her husband is 31.
@@Butt-mk4wx he looks pretty young for his age, probably why women his age weren’t interested
@@Butt-mk4wx Ew
Hardest part of being still single at 29 is not having any single friends anymore. Seeing all your married friends with kids makes the loneliness hit hard
my husband's two best friends have this issue, and they don't even know where to look anymore. The're single while our kid is already in school. And we can't even give any advice, we are each other's first serious relationship, met by unrepeatable coincidence and were inseparable since the second we saw each other and started talking.
Same thing happend to me at 28, i have zero friends that are single, and i just so angry and sad, i push myself out there overcoming my fear and shyness, (one of my issues) i go crazy join bunch of sport clubs and put myself out there to meet new network of peoples and it work out, met my wife in a charity events i help hosted. Dont give up hope, fight for yourself, overcome the doubt and fears.... sell yourself put yourself out there in new positive environment, find one that align with your interest. GL
@@corra_m13 wow you guys have no idea how lucky you are. This has literally never happened with me 😂
Try being 39 and still single.
@@onebreath210 yeah, sucks
Male, 27 this year, never even held hands, and still going strong.
All dogs go to heaven.
You are a living meme.
@@SamBrockmannBro your photo literally looks like a soyjak.
42 Male. At your age, we went up to girls, minimum 5 a day. We had a huge group of friends. This was about the time Facebook came out so we had a mix of irl pick ups, friend groups/social life, AND facebook dates.
You said you went an entire YEAR in your TWENTIES without even holding hands? what you reckon your 30s will be like or your 40s? LMFAO oh buddy oh buddy buddy. You're in for a treat.
You have 3 years to fix your attitude before things get really serious for you.
word
The first step to getting a girlfriend is getting rid of the anime profile picture.
“Work somewhere that shares your values” is the only good advice I’ve heard outside of those stock answers.
"I just wanna be loved" broke me. So relatable
So, change your life.
But does she want to love. People always want love but rarely do they understand the reverse.
@@SamBrockmannit’s not always their fault. Stop being so insensitive.
@SamBrockmann Wow. Super upstanding advice, bro. Just so helpful and executed in just a way that someone would wanna take the advice too
Nah… love is fleeting, just look at divorce rates; stay single and enjoy freedom instead!
You shouldn't set people up. Just invite them to the same group function and let them meet organically. Don't tell either one about the other. The expectation of the relationship having to be romantic right out the gate sets it up for failure.
Fingers crossed
Unless one or both of them has asked you to let them know such things ahead of time. "Hey if you meet anyone who is single, is relationship material, and might be into me, let me know."
@@Tzarina8472 even then just introduce them without the expectation of romantic engagement. Host a party, invite both to go ice skating/ movies/ disc golf/ dancing/ whatever activity it is you do for fun with your friends. If they have chemistry it'll happen without prompting.
Hard disagree, being set up was one of the top ways people met for decades and only recently has it been seen as a negative
I do this. After observing both for a while I'll invite them both to a group hang out but not tell them I'm trying to set them up or anything. So far I have a record of more than 10 happy married couples that met at something I invited them both to because they seemed like good matches. I also have a good record with proposals 😅 Can't set myself up to save my life but I am great at pairing everyone else 😊
I go to church weekly. Seeing every couple walk in, a lot with kids, both warms and breaks my heart. Keep praying, lads.
Honestly, I feel that.
Yeah, same here
Yeah, praying is a very useful tool to psych yourself up. To anyone besides you personally, praying is as effective as sleeping in a coffin.
Thats funnily a big reason i stopped going to church, felt like a creep being alone amongst families without having one my self
I'm in Australia and have realised that there are no single Christian men in any church here.😳
I’m a 35 year old single woman who would love to marry and have children, but I’m beginning to lose hope of that ever happening. I’ve tried dating apps, joining small groups at church, doing group activities, but all to no avail. My standards are not extremely high: he loves Jesus, desires to be a husband and father, shares my values, has a job, and is healthy and active. It’s also really hard being the only single person among friends, especially when most conversations revolve around marriage and raising children. The other day my mom told me, “Some people just aren’t meant to be married.” 😢
well your mother is right, im not saying that It will be you, but do not finding anyone is also a possibility and you should have it in your options when thinking about your future.
real life is not like the movies, so when planning is better to do it from a realistic perspective... being alone is way better than being with someone just to "do not feel alone".
Good luck.
I can understand the pain. I hope god gives you strength to bear this pain. Don’t loss hope , Good people will always one day find someone to love them. Take care Anneke.
My sympathies for all the times you've angst over this and all the times yet to come. Keep living, keep hoping.
Sister!!!! Keep your head up. If God has placed this desire in you it will not return void ❤️ I heard a beautiful story from my coworker today about how she met her husband later than she thought. God’s plan is perfect!!
Keep living well but dont go looking and allow God to bring you your spouse.
My biggest annoying thing people say is "You're so sweet (and/or other compliments), how do you not have a boyfriend?" How do you respond to that..? "thanks? I don't know..."
@lawra89 you say “well thank you, but if I knew that, Karen, I wouldn’t still be single!”
@@sophiazimlich4503 The "Good Luck Charlie" shrug gif always comes to mind, lol.
Women and Men selection on the basis of different criteria. For men the selection is biased in physical and for women it is biased on emotional. The irony is that both men and women are not aware of that. It used to be very well understood in society as a whole. Today we have young people have no clue of this because society is too scared to talk about it.
The success rate for selection increases dramatically when an individual meets more people of both sexes. Many young people are very isolated and tend to not understand their isolation.
People are saying it to you probably because they see you are capable and wonder how you are single. Your response is simple I am waiting for the right man nothing else needed.
I get this all the time. Oh there is no way you will stay single! You're such a great person! You're amazing! The people I try to date even tell me this before they block me. it's great.
@@jesh879 It's so unfortunate that so many people can relate to this.
The way Brett's smile changed and got bigger and her whole face just lit up when she called her husband is so sweet and wholesome! Couple's goals!
As someone who was blessed to find the right person and get married young, I hope and pray that everyone who is chronically single and wants love and companionship will be able to find their person.
I noticed that as well.
@@aubreycarter7624 my magic 8 ball said highly unlikely
Except shes a narcissistic lying hypocrite everything she criticizes shes also doing or has done
I truly do not understand why large conservative organizations like TPUSA, Dailywire etc. don't have singles events at at least their conferences or even just a regional event. It's such a huge opportunity wasted. My church had a singles event with like 100 people and there have already been 3 marriages from it. Come on guys you have the resources help a friend out!!
+1 for this. If conservative groups want to get people back to family values and having/raising kids, they should stop talking and start DOING the ground work.
Dailywire is run by israels who only wants chews to be happy thats why
I was at AMFest and TPUSA does those however it was apart of the VIP section. Plus with everyone being so far away it’s highly unlikely that anything works out.
@@stephenwallace9555 They could have them more regional though, and I have never even seen it as part of the Amfest advertisement. It should be highly publicized thing, they have the resources to make it work! My church had a conference with people from all over the states and there were at least 3 marriages in less than a year to come out of a singles dance of 75ish people. It is possible!
@@inhale1 I know! Brett keeps saying that she wants to help, well there are pretty simple ways of making that happen!
28 male, and one example I’ve gotten in recent years is “you’ve done so much that you’ll just overwhelm them”. I don’t like that at all. While yes I have done a wide variety of things to enrich my life, I’m at a point in my life where I’m realizing how much of life has been exposed and poured into me, and all I want to do is share it.
I’ve gone on two solo trips to in the last year to opposite sides of the country just to challenge my limits, do things I have interest in and speak to my values. I enjoy retelling my adventures, but i feel empty sometimes. I’d like to share an adventure with someone for once you know
Thanks Brett for the awesome video. Your husbands debut was wonderful.
Don't listen to them. Enriching your life only makes you more interesting. Keep doing you!
I'm 21 (female) and my family has been asking where my boyfriend is. I'm starting to give up but seeing some of these comments is giving me hope!
Where did you go for your solo trips? I'm trying to "put myself out there" more and want some ideas of where to go and what activities to do.
@@goldengirl8736 thank you for the kind words. You made me smile.
I went to SoCal and road tripped from Wisconsin to NYC. Both cases involving at least one overnight train ride. It’s very peaceful and fills my heart with joy. Both trips I had planned with certain attractions in mind, but I found plenty of surprises as well.
It really confuses me when people start comparing what you’ve done to themselves. It’s not a competition :D But I do get these comments from time to time as well (female, 33).
Just keep going and enjoy your life! Either you find someone or you don’t, but at least you have traveled and experienced a lot of different things :)
Guy here! I think the emptiness you might be feeling is lack of purpose. I've seen my friends in a similar situation of feeling empty and depressed, they picked up a job that involved some physical labor but they sounded so much happier last I spoke to them because they were doing something they felt mattered.
I was single until 32. Met him. Married him a year later. 3 kids by 40. He was WORTH.THE.WAIT. Join church groups or other places that you have interests in. Have friends. Do stuff you like. Meet people with similar values and interests. Give people a chance, but don't waste time. And just like with weight loss.... tHEY ALREADY KNOW. They DO NOT NEED COMMENTS. Just be a friend. Be a sister. Be good to them the way you want people to be good to you.
Thank you, I'm 33 and this gives me hope. It's a million times harder after 30
I bet you would not have picked him if you were 22
This is very helpful ❤
I'm 32 this year. Maybe I'll meet her this year... Thanks for the glimmer of hope.
@@RossGuzman I know.... I am sorry! Turning 30 was rough for me for sure! But, there IS hope! I had a big group of friends in the same boat and all but one eventually married!
21:00 Gotta say, that spontaneous smile as Brett listens to her husband is so f'ing wholesome. You can tell she really adores that lucky man.
Can totally relate. "You're so young, you have so much time," never came across well for me.
It's especially gross to say to women because we definitely do not have that much time. And even for men, you wanna be able to play with your kids without throwing your back out!
Oh, what the heck. Might as well.
I’m a 23 year old Catholic girl near living in Missouri. I work at a small horse and donkey barn. I have two dogs and am in the process of finding my own horse. I love being outside, taking my dogs on trails, hunting, and riding. I quilt, bake, and dabble in taxidermy. I recently got some chickens and am looking into more homesteading. I’m always excited to go to a museum. Usually history and science, not really art museums. I want kids and my ideal situation is a multigenerational family. I want live near my parents so my kids have strong relationships with my family. I adore my job, but kids would come first.
I’ve never dated or been in a relationship. I’m hoping to find a good man, but for the longest time I didn’t know where to start. Good luck to everyone out there!
You sound like an great person with wholesome qualities. I've been trying to find someone who is outdoors-ey and interested in homesteading near KY, but regardless, GOOD LUCK!
You sound like you have similar interests to me, but I live and work in tennessee, and that's also where my family and church family are, so if I was to relocate I would have to find another job, and another church, and where ever moved to I would like to own at least a few acres of land. I keep about sixteen sheep on my parent's seven acres and I'm currently in the process of fencing my preacher's property to run some cattle on. I'm not completely opposed to leaving, but it would need to be a well calculated decision.
Good. Now are u attractive?
I'm a young 20 year old Catholic boy in Arkansas, though I live very close to Missouri. I am in the process of moving and finding a job. I am a convert so I don't have a Catholic family. When I'm at my parents house I tend to take care of our chickens and dog. I haven't been in mang relationships and over all not for much time. I really like history, math, and faith related topics. I don't want to give more information to avoid doxxing myself.
21 year old Catholic girl here! Met my boyfriend by going to every young adult group and young adult event in the area. There was no secret sauce to meeting him. Met him at a party he hosted and we hit it off almost instantly. You'll find yours if it's in God's will 🫡
You remember in Kung Fu Panda when Po opened the scroll and he said “it’s blank?”
Sometimes the best answer is no answer at all.
The advice given to the supposed “chronically single” people only pushes people back into their chronically single mindset. It’s all in our minds. In actuality, saying _nothing_ helps distract from their singleness and allows them the mental room to grow as a person and to quit obsessing over what has not yet been.
- Chronically Single Person
That's the truth man!
And if that mental room gets filled up with more obsession?
@@spaceperson613 "Solitude is the school of genius." - Salvador dali
Thank you!
@@spaceperson613 The point is to fill the mental room with anything but the obsession. Things that will positively impact your life, simultaneously making you a better dating candidate.
I’m also permanently single. I’ve just given up and accepted that I will always be alone. Something that not many couples realise - it gets lonely. Single people eventually get excluded. All my friends are married and have kids, another is now pregnant again. At times I’m okay, but lately I’ve felt very alone and depressed. And while some say it’s fine, there are still people that judge you that you are “old” (37) and still single.
And being very anxious and introverted really does not help
@@mf1203crazy is as crazy does
I'm 36 and I understand how you feel.
I think couples do realize that but unless you want to be fully integrated with nitty gritty kid stuff, there's very limited natural ways for you to spend time or connect with them in this individualistic society. They do not have the freedom you have, and you don't have the responsibility they have with little humans. It's an uphill battle but not impossible
You need to go out your comfort zone and make it happen, you have responsibility. Better to do that than wallow in self pity online
16:34 This!!! I saved myself for marriage. The longer I went without making a solid connection or being in a relationship, the more I was determined that my husband would be the one for all my firsts.
I was not going to settle at that point because I had waited so long. At 28, I met my husband, we got married this April when I was 31 he was 33. He is my first boyfriend, first kiss, first everything and will be my last.
So glad I didn’t settle and waited until both of us were in the place were we were ready for each other.
As much as we might wish we met sooner, we both had to go through what we did to be the person the other needed.
Same exact mindset like since ive already waited this long why give my first kiss etc with anyone. Still waiting though @33 slightly jealous you found your person at 28 but happy for you ! Hope it lasts for life 🙏🏾
how did you meet? i gotta get ideas
@@zoetsahai praying that you find your person and your person finds you
@@zoetsahaiI feel but I would be lying if I said I am not low key panicking just a little on the inside.
As a guy, I feel similar actually. Once you are a virgin over a certain age, you just don´t want to do it with anyone.
On the other hand, there is this voice, saying that you probably won´t find that connection anyway. So you might as well just have some fun. But I know if I go there, I´ll probably be emotionally detached for good. I would probably just start using hookers (which is legal in my country) and not bother otherwise. Because if I have sex without love I may as well be pragmatic about it.
“Go work somewhere that promotes your values and you’ll meet someone” was the best piece of advice here!
Just as long as the company does not have policies forbidding inner company relationships.
57 yo woman and I just want to hug every discouraged single out there. There are certain standards you should never compromise and others you may currently think are important aren’t after all.
21 yr old male here, the issue is simply in meeting ladies. Period. :/ You'd be surprised at how many young women aren't even interested in conversing.
@@mr.metamovies2419I was talking with one dude from a friend group and when I went up to the bar, he was telling the bar tender “the speed dating events never work out because women just want sex and not a relationship”. That was how I noped out so fast.
I’ve never met a man that wanted to really chat besides him. The rest just want to have sex and when I say no- they leave. But definitely don’t think most men are like that- the decent men probably are in relationships
26 year old man here is short I have serious trust issues due to past experiences and I won’t go up to an unfamiliar woman anymore so yes I would like that hug
19 yo man and I’m not as old as some of these others but I have been searching and waiting patiently for the right woman far as long as I can remember. Everyone in school always dated because it was cool, but I always wanted to date to marry eventually, which is why nobody ever dated me. I’s hell out here so I am definitely feeling the effects of being chronically single. To sum it all up, I would like a hug 😅
Well...for one thing I can certainly probably guess why the one lady at 9:00 mins in who says she's constantly traveling and 29 and VERY single and always looking.....her problem is I know a LOT of men who after hearing that info on a couple dates with her is going to be massively turned off.
All men hear when a woman tell them they are always single and travel alot, is that she probably sleeps around and that something must be off if no guy has bothered to stick around
I’m 38 and a Christian. It’s amazing what people say and how they treat me as a single woman. I’ve given it into Gods hands and moved along. To be honest I am at peace and very happy. Having faith about my life goes a long way towards that.
Also a 38 year Christian women, I have peace but I would say I have to work to keep my peace.
In case you haven't been open to the opportunity, don't discount single or divorced fathers. Of course they need to have the same morals and values as you. But I was in my 30s when I met and married my husband. He was divorced, had a daughter in college & a teenage son who lived with him. We had no drama or stereotypical stepfamily stuff. We've been married for almost 30 years now. I get along great with his kids and I'm grandma to their kids. Life is truly wonderful all because I married him.
As a man married at 25, I didnt get the privilege of God putting a women in my life. I had to search her out.
If you are truly happy and it doesnt bother you, than more power to you... though I like to say, do whatever in your power to achieve the fullest life you can do, and that can mean chasing paths you dont know even exist yet.
I'm a Christian woman at 46. I know it isn't easy, but you have the right idea. God knows your heart. Keep praying for the right guy. It took me until I was 43 to find him, after my ex husband cheated on me at 35. I can tell you, it's better to be single than go through that. I'd never wind up with a man like that again. Sometimes, it's just waiting on God to show you the right person! Stay content and keep hoping and praying!
At 27 it’s getting difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel but just like that last girl said, I’m going to continue to be myself and I have a lot of love to give so I have to stay positive. Trusting Gods timing on this
Never compromise on those shared values 🤘
It's like giving each other so much respect even before meeting them... Also after having gone through all of it... Make your childrens understand that being a hopeless romantic is one of the best feelings of all 💚
God bless 🙌
Hang in there! Some of us are on the other side looking for the ones who trust God too :D What do you value in a partner and where do you live?
@@slbuwk Brother, TH-cam is not a dating app.
No worries I were you and met my husband at 28. Married in 6 months. Super happy 6 years later. Equally in love if not more. Swedish men are great, I recommend😂
@@samdevalit's about to be 'Brother'
Thank you Brett. This video made me feel so much better. Makes me feel like I'm not alone. I appreciate the advice you have given and will implement that advice going forward.😊
Since Brett mentioned shooting your shot in the comments, here's mine.
27 year old single pringle in Northern IL looking for a Christian guy in late 20s early 30s. I love horses, history, dnd, pirates, sewing, fencing, and reading. Up for adventures. Good family and friend relationships. Work as an administrative assistant. Down to earth. Don't care for drama. I'd rather add to a man's peace than be the source of his stress.
I’d date you but Im in Louisiana😂
43m so I'm out, but I'll at least reply to hopefully boost your comment.
As a guy who likes sewing, good luck finding another guy who does lmao
Hope you find your match!
25 year old Christian who works in finance, has a good job, a house, and a cat. If you're willing to move to Texas, I'd love to wife you up.
28 year old single guy here, I relate deeply to the chronically single types as defined here and I totally feel for the girl saying “I have so much love to give.” Feel like I’ve said it enough times myself at this point lol
The part about having so much love to give is hard. Reminds me a bit of "Love Somebody" by Maroon 5.
I relate to this so much. I’m a hopeless romantic in thought but I’m either all in for the long haul or nothing at all. I’ve never subscribed to the thought of just dating for fun. I won’t say I love you easily as it’s such a powerful sentiment that needs to be meant. It’s literally making yourself vulnerable to the other person and if they don’t share your convictions about relationships then it leads to disaster.
22 year old single gal. My only tattoo so far says "love more; worry less". I want to build a life with someone, I'm at the point of dating that I will find a stranger and elope lol
“I have so much love to give” is something that I have always believed about myself, but with the hook-up culture, repeat offenders, and casual dating, I have started to tell myself that it’s not the kind of love that people want just yet. And I am not going to keep giving my heart, my time, and my convictions to guys that won’t give it back to me equally.
I really hope you make it... But there's something you should know as well. Modern women hate the men who love them. Good luck.
28 and never been asked out on a date. People who have literally been asked out on all the dates, and met their husband/wife before they turned 20 will look you straight in the face and say "What I did..." And it's the worst, cause like, they've never experienced singleness. Thank you for actually taking this seriously, and listening to people who have this struggle
nobody's expirience is a 100% like yours, none ''what i did''s apply here. I was sooo lonely and desperate before my man, and hit on so many times after married. doesn't make sense
32 and same (never asked out in a date). It definitely hurts because some people take it for granted that you are ruining the relationships you’re in or have too high of standards or something, when it’s really that we’ve never been given the chance to see how we would act in a relationship 😞 praying that you find someone!
It is much easier for women to meet men than the other way around. The main stopping point for women at present is their standards of expectation are too high.
If a woman mixes with men and is friendly she will get asked out or see interest from men. Now just meeting a few men will not do it but lots of men in social settings or work place will do it.
I don’t have issues getting dates or being asked out. I had a problem wanting to date someone. I got my first gf at 26 after she made the first moves. I’ve had people do that, but not to this extent. She was special.
How many people have you asked on dates? I'm guessing zero. Why don't you ask someone you're attracted to on a date?
Girl is talking so fast she is so passionate. She wants us to find our people. I literally love her :)
My son is 22 and never had a girlfriend. Nice looking, fit and healthy, nice person, good at conversation, kind, well educated, speaks three languages, great professional well paid career ahead of him. He explains that it is really difficult to meet people now and often girls come with a list of unrealistic demands. The world works differently now.
It really is doom for any men millennial and younger. It's mostly zoomers but I was born in 1994 so I'm close enough to that age range
Women overlook him so they can go date and have “fun” with the 6’5 bad boy. Women are brutal, they don’t care how empathetic you are or how many languages you speak. All they care about is what your face looks like and how tall you are. No hate to your son, I don’t make the rules.
Younger 20s here, female. I can confirm. Most girls are dreaming and aren't used to having to "bring something to the table." It's hard to meet people the same age if you don't party and drink. Most of my friends are way older than me because of that. Very nice on the languages. I'm bilingual.
Give him a passport and some plane tickets. 100% works
Tell him NOT TO BE NICE.
Seriously, women go DRY when a guy is really nice.
TELL him to BE A GOOD MAN.
THERE Are some great channels on youtube telling the TRUTH about Intersectional dynamics between men and women.
Just DO NOT listen to a FEMINIST
THE GREATEST thing anyone has ever told me when I expressed how much pain it causes to be chronically single was ".... shit man, that sounds like it sucks; I'm sorry to hear it"
IT WAS TERRIFIC. NO bullshit advice, no worn out platitudes, no "false prophesy" like they're some kind of fortune teller, no "Oh you'll find someone! Just you wait!", nothing. Just "that sucks, I'm sorry to hear it".
See that to me would come off as dismissive, that might be because I'm not American though.
@@Jim90117sometimes people just want to be listened to and understood and don’t want or need advice. You can ask them if they need help w anything tho
@@Jim90117I think you’d have to read their sincerity from their tone and body language, but I agree, it’s often much better to just feel heard than be given unsolicited advice.
@@Jim90117 I can't properly convey the tone; it was deeply heartfelt. It wasn't a casual sort of "Damn that sucks", it was a "I feel your pain and I wish I could help" type of thing.
My cousin told me this yesterday, and 100%, it was nice someone just felt that empathy.
worst thing ive ever been told is well you dont need a man to have a child. LIKE WHAT?!?! multiple aunties (single and married) tell me to just be a single mother like worst advice ever pls dont ever give advice again.
That is some of the worst advice I’ve ever heard! 😂😂
Your aunties are craaazy. 🤣
I’m as chronically single as the next girl, but there are things that are far worse than being perpetually single. 😂
That’s what’s wrong with societies😐 so glad you realize how bad that advice is lol
hahahah sounds like the type of advice I get from mom sometimes, and then she wonders why I share my problems with her 🤦♀some people... 🤡
@@sunny_lis7135 same i told my mom i was worried the older i get and still not married or kids and she said you dont need a man you can have children on your own. I was emotional and got angry at her for advising i be a single mother and deprive children of a father.
Being a single mother is one of the leading factors to crime of your child. Don't do this
The one thing that has helped me is prayer. A couple of months ago my worry of being single until I'm in my 30's (I'm in my early 20's) turned into an anxious mindset and anger and jealousy towards other women who had what I wanted. I eventually couldn't take it anymore and had to ask God to take my negativity and anxiousness away. It worked; and even though I'm still single I can see the ways that God may be preparing me for being a homemaker and motherhood, if that is part of my future. Now, I feel more at peace knowing that I'm following the path God has carved out for me, not the other way around. What a relief it is to let go and let God. I still want to get find the man that will become my future husband and have children, but I have to do it on God's time, not my own.
My advice to other single people is, especially if you're Christian, is to pray that God guides your footsteps wherever you go, and that He prepares you to be a good spouse and parent while you are single if it's His will.
This right here is what I have been trying to focus on. I've struggled with temptation, had flings with girls that I knew were bad for me, but I couldn't handle the loneliness. In the last couple years, with the complete decline of the culture, I've started to think maybe I'm just not meant to be with someone, and I should learn to be okay with this.
Something hit me in the last few months though. "Seek first the Kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added unto you."
I would definitely say that finding a wife has been more important in my heart than seeking God daily, and living my life to honor Him. I think, maybe God is waiting on me to be fully content with Him before He introduces any true love with another person. I can't know, but that's what I should be doing anyways. It's hard to break away from that mindset, but I'm trying.
I was definitely in the same position that you are/were in terms of placing more importance on finding a husband than seeking God. What brought me out of that was being brought to my lowest point. It wasn't just the anxieties that I mentioned before; many people in my life were dying, and I realized very soon that even though I am a believer, I wasn't trusting in and relying on God to grant me peace. In my numbness, I found myself leaning more on God than I had ever before. And it's odd because one would think that I should be cursing God for the people he had taken from me and for not giving me the life I thought I deserved. All of that to say, if you're still at a point where you are not seeking God first, I promise you He will make sure you will; if it happens to you similarly to the way that it happened to me, hold on to Him tightly through the pain.
Also, that is a strong Bible verse. I used to think that that verse could incorrectly be interpreted as Seek the kingdom of God SO THAT all these things shall be added to you; that we should only seek God in order to have a prosperous life. But that verse actually means that when we seek God, not for earthly riches or prosperity, but because we have been redeemed through Christ's death, God will bless us in ways that we cannot imagine. There will still be suffering and pain, but I'll take God's way over mine any day because I am imperfect and fail all the time. But our Creator is perfect and never fails.
Amazing and inspiring. Thank you.
Thought I would also shoot my shot in the comments so here it goes...
I'm a single 25 year old male in Missouri looking for a Christian woman also in her 20's. Hobbies and interests include: woodworking, music (I play bass and piano), waterskiing, homesteading/living off grid, and I've started reading about regenerative agriculture. I enjoy the outdoors and picked up golf again to get outside more. I have a good relationship with my family and that's something I really value. I have a few friends but some moved away or went back home after college. I try and be present in the real world as much as I can, say hi to people when I'm out walking my dog, but it seems like people just say hi back because it's a habit. At the very least maybe I'll make some new friends here! Thanks for reading.
Hey! I'm a single, Christian, 22 year old woman in Texas. Music and homestead-type living have been very important parts of my life! I've recently become more interested in crunchy/natural ways to do everything; I'd love to hear what you've learned in your reading. :)
Hi, not looking to date anyone, but good luck meeting someone! You seem like a really nice guy and a bunch of people would be more than lucky to have you as a partner. Hope you find that person for you ❤️
You sound like a great guy, I hope you are able to find someone! Idk for sure but I think that first person is fake because the account was created three hours ago. Just want you to stay alert against scams😊
@@abbie3550 That comment got my hopes up for sure, but then I checked out the channel and saw that it was created today which set my alarms off. I appreciate the heads up!
I appreciate ya'lls sense of caution; I know it looks suspicious. The truth is in all the time I've been on TH-cam I had never felt the need to comment on anything before, so when I decided I wanted to reach out I had to create a channel. I promise I'm real, but I totally understand where you're coming from.
I'm Chronically Single for 29 years and I'm ok with it since I'm a loner, but sometimes it hurts seeing all the happy people around
Many of them aren't as happy as you think. It's a gruesome consolation but it's true. The grass isn't always greener.
same here. most of the time it's fine. but sometimes it's painful
It suck during the holidays.
28 here, same otherwise.
Very few couples are actually happy.
Yeah the whole "You'll find the one when you're not looking" is the most annoying shit ever. Like hey guess what I'm single and live alone, I rarely leave the house. I'm not going to find anyone when I'm not looking, there is no door to door partner service coming to my door.
You missed the point completely
You supposed not to look for a partner but a friend of opposite sex
Me for example, never saw girls as girls to date(such boring stuff), yet some of them got sticking to me because I'm charming in mysterious ways
Like, friend of my wife asked to say hello to her. Which I did and immediately went back to ma boyz, and the two just followed us
Don't look for your person, but get exposed
Did you try dating? Not from apps but from ads online. I think its better from ads. Dating apps are weird to me. From the female perspective: i see a lot of men who look fake to me (gym obsession, photos with filters, etc). A lot of guys are there only to get some. And a male friend of mine who is christian like me says a lot of women rejected him...because he doesnt to jump in bed with them 🤦♀️
Well there called Mormons 🤣
@@etcwhatever What do you mean ads? Like ads to date women, as pay for them? Yeah not really interested in that.
As far as the apps are concerned they are trash and just as many women lie about themselves in order to get a relationship as men do for sex, they may have different motives but it's just as bad. I've quite literally been on a date with someone who had no working fingers and only two nubs for thumbs, the only clue I had of this was that at one point she said she had osteoporosis I think she was in her late twenties or so she claimed. I honestly didn't know what the hell that was supposed to mean, I assumed she just needed to take prescription calcium supplements or something along those lines. Her profile was carefully curated so as to not really show her hands, a couple pictures had them but they were blocked by her phone. Am I pretty stupid for not paying attention, sure I guess. Typically I'm not checking out someone's profile wondering if they have all their working digits, I assume they do and if they don't they wouldn't hide it.
Other women will often post pictures of themselves when they are thinner for their profile and show up looking nothing like their pictures, then I get to either sit through the date anyways or turn into an asshole because of their deception.
Honestly even just looking on dating apps is depressing, I don't really want to get into the problems with the apps but yeah, they are total shit and I've had almost nothing but bad experiences with them.
Personally I'm probably only really open to meeting women through clubs or activities at this point but it doesn't really feel like an easy way to meet people, doesn't feel like people who join those groups are really looking for friends so much as just something to do so who knows if that method will work but it can't be worse than the damn apps.
@@Anotherguy1st
Just so we can understand you do not have much of a life outside your house?
Well that is the modern world in a nutshell. Too many people are disconnected from the outside world. You have probably spent a long time indoors already and find the idea of a life outside hard.
Men and women have naturally different selection processes. For men it tends to be visually orientated and for women it tends to be emotionally based to include such things as character. Too many women in the modern world associate good looks with confidence.
You will find the vast majority of men out there with a partner are confident. There are exceptions.
"Chronically single" is better than being "Chronically coupled" to someone you can't stand and treats you poorly
Some people really can't stand being alone I guess.
@@joelwillems4081Because humans aren’t supposed to be alone. It’s not natural
Being with someone who treats you poorly is a choice. Being unable to have a proper relationship isn’t. Have some gratitude that you can attract someone.
I was chronically coupled to my ex wife for ten yrs. now chronically single. 😭
Or being one of those people that wanders from coupling to coupling with no permanence at all.
We need Brett to organize an opportunity for all these single guys that watch her channel!
And girls.
And for the love of God, not making it a dating gathering
I am a single guy who watches her channel. I wish I had better social skills when I was younger. I have learned a lot over the years but unfortunately, I may be too old to find a wife, which I have been yearning for many years.
I am older than millennials and Gen Z. I attend many social events and activities, even activities that are not of particular interest to me, and I use dating apps without achieving many dates.
Absolutely! I'd sign up real quick! Just a 22yr old welder looking for a gal that believes in similar things like having traditional values!
I heard from Malcolm and Simone, that conservative women are in high demand, and liberal men are in high demand. In their respective areas.
In 2025, I will go to Homesteader/farmer/gun ranges/feed stores to look for a man. My pool is narrowed to only Texan men, since I am ride or die for my state. Need a man, who has the same fundamental values as me. 🤠
There's also the fact that if a girl is anything like me, they like to stay home, are hidden, or scarcely go out. I only go out, maybe at most 3-5 times a month?
1- to get my farm animal feed
2- go with my mom to the grocery store
3-go to my cousins house
4-to a drive-thru/miscellaneous store
5-do something important-like picking up baby chicks from the post office
To give some insight on why certain types of females may be allusive or appear to not exist at all. 😅
It was out of my comfort zone, but when I was single, I would try to talk to whoever at church events just to make friends. I met my husband and started up a random conversation because I thought he might know my cousin, and he did. I didn't do it with intentions to date him just being friendly, and it worked. I was friendly to so many guys before, and none ended up being my husband, but it got me comfortable enough that when I did meet him, I was able to start a conversation and now we are married.
This is what women need to do more often. Men have a lot of pressure to approach in a non-creepy way and most women are very mean about rejection. Yet most women wont approach men. You guys are you own worst enemies: you only want to date good looking men who have good bodies and make a lot of money. Not all of us men look like Luke Bryan, Younger Brad Pitt, Chesney, or Travis Pastrana.
Wow! Like "be a friendly person" might help?
Women need to know that if they don't make eye contact and smile the guy isn't going to talk to them. You just told him you don't want to.
But yes!! Be friendly to EVERYONE.
I haven't been on a date since 2018 and haven't been in a relationship since 2016. I thought it was better for me to build a career first, but now I'm 24 with 8 years in a career and start looking and it quickly becomes apparent that that's never going to happen. The worst comment has to be the "you're so lucky" by my married friends. Im so lucky to get to come home to an empty house and an empty bed and no one to ever care about me because what? Because I can have a beer at dinner? Because I can play video games when I get home? So lucky.
damn your comment hits hard. Very relatable. There are so many people around me getting married at 18-20 years old. I'm 21 and have never dated anyone but want to find a husband and have kids.
Dating starts counting after 18 years old. So when people say I’ve been single for 22 years old. No you’ve been single for 4 years. It doesn’t count below 18. You are not supposed to be in a relationship at 5 years old etc.
yeah but it helps for figuring out their age
There is some truth to it, but I'm pretty sure it's important to gain first experiences in your childhood. I was a fat child and was avoided by girls. Now Im fit and successful but completely falter under the pressure of trying to get a woman romantically involved with me.
@@alexandermarch161 same with me (I was a fat kid and up until 24)! agree 100%
I’m 35 and never been in a relationship. Heard all of this and more (add a dash of well-meaning church people advice) and none of it changed a thing. Had to give up my dreams of children and a husband. But I am doing okay now. My identity isn’t about being single. I write, have friends, am a proud Auntie, work in my church. Still not a career woman but I pay my bills. I am blessed.
Yes praise God for our blessings we have already 🙏 maybe we can talk, another friend in Christ is always a blessing at the very least!
You are doing well, sister 👍🙏
Good job.👍
Are there any single men in your church?
@@kristen8329 None close to my age.
It’s honestly so adorable and wholesome to see how much Brett loves her husband🥹I love it
brett’s face when talking to her husband is so cute she looks so in love. so happy for you two!! ❤
Honestly so glad I found my gal at a young age, gave me a lot of hope for the future after the first year and now we're well over four years together!
We told an entire generation they didn't need friends in real life, that their internet life could substitute, and now we're dealing with consequences
I agree. On the subject, feel like getting a drink and talking about the facts of life?
No, women screamed at men for years that you didn't need us
You got your wish
@@kcb8130 calm down! One of the main reasons people are struggling these days to find someone is because of social media and it's causing people to be less social in the real world.
No one told anyone that.
@HD-jb9ju not directly or literally. But there was plenty of encouragement to avoid real life contact. And yes women by the millions have communicated by there words and deeds that they dislike the idea of 99.9999% of men approaching them.
The lightbulb moment for me that being single is okay is realizing how much finding someone else that would be happy with me would be a girl friend (before being a girlfriend). Common drives, passions, and hobbies are much better icebreakers than trying to date at the first step. Then it has to be someone who enjoys being around me and finding common purpose and THEN things lining up in her life to also like me. After all, it's gotta be mutual for both parties. Realizing that made me realize there isn't some magical combination I need to get a real deep relationship. It's not "getting a woman." It's about being chosen when and if the relationship is right. In the meantime, develop friendships, work on personal excellence and enjoy life! It's a win-win.
chronically single girl and exactly what i’m looking for
I thank divine providence I dont need to be around people to have a good time or to enjoy myself. More often than not I enjoy being alone/solitary. Its pretty much impossible to find people who are into this as they would be more like me, alone or solitary LOL. I guess these things hurt people who are naturally extroverted, as it would be torture for them. I am not that way at all. I would enjoy life being this way into the future no problem. I have been this way since my 20s. I can remember in high school I was this way and would go out of my way to not be around people. I would take my lunch breaks in the library in a back room to get away from everyone LOL. It was such a relief to be in a quiet room by myself. It was easy then as it is easy today. I work in the trades and commercial work so I rarely run into people. I love it.
@@therealmcgoy4968 I'm somebody similar, with the added issue of having been bullied VICIOUSLY throughout my entire school years - had issues making friends those years since trust issues existed (including rejecting an invitation to get to know a lady I really liked better in high school - probably for the best - I was a low confidence, practically zero self-esteem person back then and as a result any relationship would have been doomed in any case - it worked out pretty well for her either way, as she has a husband she adores and several kids these days), but the benefit of being a bookworm which developed an early love for fantasy, scifi and horror literature. Took me MANY years after leaving school of even REMOTELY trusting people again, and even then, giving my trust only to people who have earned it - I work in a service industry, so unfortunately, I HAVE to work with people, and rarely get the opportunity to work on my own or at remote locations. That pulled me from my shell as an introvert, but I still prefer doing my own thing (in terms of interests and/or hobbies) and my own way when not working.
I have never related to a video so much. Thank God I have found the most amazing, incredible man, but before him, I was a chronically single girl, who had never really been in a relationship, but wanted to love someone so badly it hurt. I empathize with all of these people wanting to genuinely care about someone and be the best significant other they can be, but it’s just not happening. All of the advice I got from my friends was just so crappy and they never understood my urgency and fear about finding someone. I’m sending so much love to anyone in this season of life. You really are doing all the right things, and I’m cheering you on :)
Brett just had the most doe-eyed in-love expression on when talking to her husband. It was so endearing to see!
About to be 31 in a few weeks, and also chronically single. In addition to all of the comments, I also get “but you’re so pretty!” I grew up in Utah, and even though I’m not part of the Mormon church, I grew up around that culture. My sense of “normalcy” was oh you get married around 20. I had friends, classmates, and even people in graduation classes after mine get married right after high school (I used to work in a pediatric office in college and I would see former classmates or even girls who were younger than me from high school in there all the time). Growing up I was always hopeful that one day it would just happen for me. That either I would find the one or at least have my first date before 25. My hope really did break after 25, and even though I’m trying to stay positive or stop looking or go on dating apps, talk to the guy first, etc etc, I get lonelier and more into trying to make myself accept that maybe I’m just going to be single for the rest of my life. What sucks is I’m a hopeless romantic too. I would have loved having a childhood sweetheart, being asked to prom, held hands, had their first kiss around 16, etc. I just saw a TikTok of a girl who met her husband on a plane because he was sitting next to her, like dude I leave for a trip this Thursday. Could that happen to me please?! 😅
I've come to realize that there have been at least 2 occasions in my life where I probably missed a really good opportunity to connect with a woman. I simply missed the signals and didn't do my part. Maybe you could keep that in mind . . . and if you meet a poor guy like that . . . give the both of you an extra chance by making a compensating effort yourself (!) Best of luck on Thursday . . .
Have you been to Washington State? And do you take care of yourself as well as have hobbies.
Saying a prayer for you!
I truly feel for people searching for love. It's challenging to get out there and meet a compatible person. However I do agree that willingness to connect with others who share similar values is important. I met my husband of 10 years through my best friend who went on a date with him first. She nudged me to reach out to him. I'm a shy person but trusted her enough to give it a chance. I'm so grateful that I did. Now we've been married for 10 years and have 2 little girls. I wish others out there who want the same all the luck!
I didn’t even know about that term until just recently on here. Going to be 28 and although I’ve been a loner most of my lifetime, there does come a time that after you learn about yourself, having to love another person becomes 10x stronger. Brett articulates that fact best about setting up your standards in a partner for marriage after working on yourself. I’m so glad there’s a community being built for people like this!
Hi from Singapore 🇸🇬.. I just learnt a new term and I feel like my whole life is flashing before my eye while watching this video 😂 As a
‘chronically single’ for 29 years, I’ve been asked by a lot of friends that went ‘u’ve never dated! How come?’ Well 😑if only I knew that then I won’t be here now m I? Another thing is “ohh you are not missing out on much” said by my friend in a serious live in relationship!! 😣at this point it’s just really exhausting…
Also my 9 hrs shift job doesn’t help with my social life at all🥲 now I’m just ranting … this topic is so funny but also very relatable… amazing video as always 🧡🤗
It reminds of the meme "At 25 I'll be a wife. 21 and still not a girlfriend" 😭🤣🤣😭
So me (23, chronically single)
@@estherluciano9623Then stopped getting knocked up over and over
@@-lord1754 you don’t know me, stop making assumptions based on your personal experience. I’ve been a practicing Christian my whole life 🤷🏽♀️
@@estherluciano9623 I still have my doubts but if im wrong good for you and good luck
@@-lord1754 wow... so your worldview is so out of whack that you think every single 23 year old woman is a baby momma?! You assigned that assumption that quickly... I can't imagine how you act IRL. No wonder so many of these bitter single losers are bitter and single.
"It'll happen when you're not looking". I haven't been looking for 6 years and ain't nothing popped up not even a little 😂
To be fair, actively looking for a partner is a waste of time. The nightlife is filled with those repeat offenders, as is the internet just with the added risk of scammers.
The advice in the video, of just doing things you like to do has the best chances tbh. As it does put you in contact with people that hold simular interests.
I have the most fun with workshops and conventions. Regardless of meeting women, I tend to connect with people at those places due to shared interests.
There’s a catch with that: you are expected to be having a explosive social life in the first place in order for that to work
@@cerberus1595 I agree I'd rather have somebody interested in the same things I am. No point in trying to force something with somebody that doesn't share your interests. But I do understand I got to be a bit more social I'm pretty content Just working and doing my thing on my off time. Sure I do think about having a girlfriend/wife however you want to see that. It does suck at times but this is much better than being with the wrong woman and all the drama that comes with that. Which is one major reason I've just stopped trying learned a big lesson last time but I should have known in the first place, older and wiser now.
Because that is dumb feminist talk actually.
And frankly, Brett is basically a CHILD.
Look, a person wanting to be married and start a family NEEDS to be proactive.
Same 😂
I’m 23 (soon will be 24) and single. I am very personable at work, go to events with my friends , and go to church every Wednesday, Sunday, and often the other days of the week! I love the Lord and I’m looking for a husband not someone to take my firsts from me. I’ve dated two guys before that I ultimately didn’t like because I only liked their values and not them as people. It is very difficult out in the dating sphere these days. My siblings and friends are all married and most have kids. At this point I’m waiting for God and his timing for all this. I can’t make my future husband appear and I can’t plan for when it happens, all I can do is keep an eye out for the opportunity and make sure I’m worthy and ready when it happens!
Sounds like you have the right mindset on this. God knows how you're feeling and will bring the right one at the right time! It might not make sense now but all of it will be worth it when you find each other.
... 'only liked their values not them as people'... What you meant by saying that.... By the way you are beautiful but more than that precious for your values never let them go as a man with the same heart ache Iam telling you those shared values will be worth as much as your time together...Iam from all the way around the globe in India... So let's pray for each others dreams to come true 🤝
Glad to hear I'm not alone in this! Where do you live? What are you looking for on the personal side beyond values?
I'm 31 from Colorado I enjoy being with my church family as often as possible, and spend time daily in the word and prayer. Id like to talk if you interested if nothing else a friend in Christ is always a blessing 🙏
contradictory opinion: Christianity is a cult based on the "buy bull" - a backwards fantasy-fiction book with talking trees, talking animals, zombies, 950 year old people, and mythical global flooding. So "waiting for god and his timing" will never happen (because god doesn't exist)
All of these videos are really good in showing how most woman and guys think when they are signal and I'm there with them. I'm 43 and I haven't EVER EVER had a gf in my years. I have had crushes and that's all I ever feel happens. I seem to lose them by going in to deep on showing my appreciation to them. Now I have learned over my several years (about 2 or 3 years ago) that I'm understanding not to go all in and let go and see what happens but I don't want to let go and watch it sail off into the sunset and I never am able to grab on it it EVER again. I hope this works and we will see what happens. Thanks Brett for these videos you do. They do help and I really do enjoy how you look at things. Getting to see someone else's views on life and how they react or understand it. Thanks for that!
I also think a lot of people give up too soon because "they dont tick every box".
Compromise is essential in a relationship, so sometimes our boxes need to be revaluated to make sure we aren't placing ourselves on a high pedestal.
Totally agree! I believe people have this idea of the perfect person, and are too scared of missing out on them. Obviously nobody should settle on important things but nobody is going to be perfect.
Amen
they will eventually reeavaluate after being single for so long, if of course they are introspective enough to see where they did wrong
Thank you Brett. As a 35 year old I got tired of asking for advice.
I hate “Just BE yourself “
Being myself is hibernating hiding from civilization. No single men in my home.
I wish my grandparents were still here. I know I would have gotten a good advice. Like my grandma telling me I made it harder for me when I shaved my head in my late teens. My grandma was my best friend and a girls girl.
I hibernate sometimes too, it's a necessity when you're an introvert. I sure wish my grandpa was still here, I think of his advice daily, he was a man's man but had a soft side as well. I've been to Bear Lake, not sure if it was the same as yours, but it was peaceful and serene. Do you like to go kayaking?
Hate that advice too. Being yourself means not improving. Not fixing your obvious flaws. At the very least it should be: "Be the best version of you that you can be."
I mean I joined clubs and Hobbie like groups and that's how I found my husband, I found him at church (Im really into book reading and he came by to talk to me and asked me what kind of books I liked then we had chemkstry) i dropped all the other ones who were interested. Theres plenty of people that join social groups that want to start off as genuine friends and you can get to know slowly overtime. I find being friends first feels less rushed and you grow a connection with them and their friends too, because people engage in their hobbies their true colors show more.
@@rrrealqueen yes I live in a tiny village with majority being relatives. I’m my case I’m waiting to move out of my community. But at the moment my ma and I are getting things sorted after my pops passing. Really now I’ve been doing a lot of healing since then.
Isn't that means to be better version of yourself by default?
Meaning if you're hibernating goblin "being yourself" would mean to be hibernating goblin that seeks way to be included in society, since humans are social animals in their core
Being yourself is meaning not to try being someone else's person right from the start
I was myself and joked that "girls are not needed" Yet my wife laughed it off and caught me eventually. And since I'm stuck in my house person, I just invite her over quickly and proposed to sleep at my place, since we both go to the same college, why not?
Been hearing all of this for years. That’s how I was in college, and now I’m 40, and it’s still the same. Most of my friends are divorced or wish they could be. So at this point, I’m just living my life with my family and friends, and while I’m at a point where I might never have kids, I’m happy with who I am as a person and glad I never settled. While I’d love to have someone bc I do get lonely, my self worth isn’t attached to who I’m dating or being in a relationship.
Some people are blessed with not seeing themselves as promising parents, which makes easier for them to not value themselves lower for not implementing themselves as parents
This video honestly gave me a confidence boost. Being single is miserable.
Me around all my friends: "Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!"
Me around just myself: "I'm jealous like you wouldn't believe. No, I don't want yours, but I want what you have."
I feel the same about my friends
You can be both at the same time, and that's okay. Longing for what someone has doesn't mean you can't also be truly happy for what they've found. I am often both, and it's good to be happy for others, even if we want to be selfish about it inside. Yes, I am also chronically single.
This....I feel seen with this comment
This is me to a T
thanks for this...
I was there. I cried so hard. I hated all the advice that they complain about. I was 25 before I had a serious relationship- or anything close. Your advice to be out with a social group is what lead me to where I am now- 10 years married this year. I was in prayer crying about not having a family of my own and then it hit me like a ton of bricks- create one. So I started having “family dinners” with other friends weekly while in law school. Not only did I marry a friend I became close to there, a lot of people ended up dating each other with the constant sense of connection we all had.
In response to the need to love someone and have all that love to give. My husband and I created not only a family with our beautiful biological children, but also to now 7 fosters who have come and gone from our home- giving them love and a home so they feel love. I was so starved of love for so long, I never wanted a child to feel that.
Yep 27 year old blue collar guy here, and seems that I am now the only single friend in the entire friend group. This year so far my friends are either having children, getting married, or just getting into relationships while ive been trying for over 2 years now and cant get a single date to save my life. Not one dating app has produced one match that went further that 2 back and forth messages. I am a homeowner, part business owner, president of a non profit, dont party, or waste money at the bar, decent looking and still nothing. This video hit close to home, good job on the coverage Brett.
22, never had a relationship longer than 5 months because we would never be on the same page for our futures. Dating apps for me have either been only talking or hook ups.
Me doom scrolling through these comments a month later to feel comradery.....yes friends literally getting married and having kids every month!😂
@@aliviaevans6984 I've ame back to this a few times to see what's new and to relisten😂
For any single ladies here I'm 19, single, and ready to mingle(thought this would be a good video to put it out there) 🗣🗣
Brett's vision for this show was golden. You will be known as a cultural icon.
I’m 29, male, have a stable job, and am from the Midwest. I recently got back into the dating scene via apps and have been struggling. I have been doing social activities too (running groups, ballroom dance lessons, & BJJ), though these are mostly to improve my own health & confidence.
I want to remain hopeful that I’ll meet someone wonderful, but it’s getting tougher lately. I’m not getting any younger, after all. As I’ve said before, if I am to remain “chronically single” for the rest of my life, then I at least want to cultivate the strength and self-love to keep carrying on and enjoy my own life.
Thanks for letting me vent here. To the other single folks that eventually find what you’re looking for, I hope your relationship is happy and lasts a lifetime!
Rooting for ya! Like the band Journey says, "Don't stop believing." Hope it all works out.
@@Cici6392 Thank you! If you’re in the same boat, I hope that you find what you’re looking for as well! If you’re already in a relationship, then I hope that it’s a happy and long one for you!
29 is still young for a man. You're not even in your prime yet. Keep your heart open. All the best to you.
@@mormegil84 Thank you as well! It hasn’t been easy, but I certainly do not want to become bitter from my setbacks. In the meantime, I’m doing my best to make my own fulfilling life. All the best to you as well!
@twocubez7848 Same boat right there with you. Lived in the Midwest for a bit. What state are you from?
Alex was correct. As a chronically single 28 year old woman, I don’t really want to hear anything or any advice. For me, when people try to give me advice or “encourage” me, all it really does is discourage me and make me feel like I am the one that is flawed and doing wrong when society has pushed and pushed hook up culture, focusing on yourself, dating apps, and moving away from the belief that the purpose of dating is to find your future spouse.
I am glad that so many people are waking up and seeing that this is a serious issue in our society today, but as a woman who has dreamed of finding a godly man with common core values to build and raise a family with, it breaks my heart that this is even a common occurrence.
“I have so much love to give” and “I only need one”, I can relate to those quotes so much.
Very well said! I’m a chronically single 33 year old and couldn’t agree with you more 👏🏾
The vast majority of men and women were never into hook up culture. It is a media creation and is not real. A small number of people are into it but that has always been the case.
The solution for young people as a whole is to meet more people. It is much easier for a women to find a partner than it is for a man but for the men it is a much larger window of time available to them.
Totally unrelated to anything. But I have had my eye on that mug and saucer for almost a year now. Seeing it in your videos I recently decided to just buy it! It was delivered today! It is even more adorable than it is in picture/video! Decor, a mug & a saucer! Win win win! 💟
Thank you for allowing us to be frustrated! Please don’t ever say “just don’t think about it,” that’s never helpful 😂 also, “if you were just more x then I’m sure you’d find someone” Linda, there are people out there who stay with cheaters, I don’t think I have to work on my morals or values to finally be worthy of finding someone, thank you very much. I think allowing us to be frustrated is very helpful, and also keeping us in mind for events where other singles will be (not necessarily setups that aren’t much better than dating apps in my opinion). I also appreciate you wanting to help!
I'm 29, and I am finally at peace with being single. Being a professional mathematician can be pretty lonely, but there are women out there for someone like me. I was blessed to meet a woman like that within the past two years, although the time was not right for either of us. Still, I pray for her. Take this time being single as a way to resolve issues like past trauma and immaturity, and never lose hope. If it's right, it'll come. Don't sweat it.
I love dissecting my 25 math textbooks, as a hobby. All it takes is one woman to appreciate such a passion.
“The time just wasn’t right” is lazy, there’s never gonna be a “right time” for things it’s either worth it or not. And clearly it just wasn’t that great and worth it, for either of you.
@@LailorGG Maybe she's in a relationship, or student teacher position? had a friend married her student after a decade of dating though. They put in the time, even when they started at a wrong time. Now it work out for them with 2 kids.
You look nice, from your pfp. You'll get a good girl
Id say don't try to look for someone with the exact interest. But rather someone else just as passionate about their interest. And even better it be an academic interest. And then y'all lift each other up in support of y'all's own thing. That's what I've done. And we have plenty of other things we like to do together, but our absolute favorite thing is different, but we can both appreciate what we like. And even learn more about the others interests. Find someone who loves to uplift you and what you love, and do the same for them
The girl at 18:54 just spoke my mind and while this situation sucks I’m glad people are talking about it so I know it’s not just me
Thank you for finally putting your sponsor segments in segments.
If you want to help some of your single friends and you feel like they might get along throw a game night or bbq and invite your single friends, give them a space to have fun and get to know new people. (That's what I've been trying to do since I got engaged then married).
If you're friends are single and you're not, you need new friends. Singles and couples don't mix. Let the singles go and stop rubbing your success in their face. They'll come back when their married if you share interests. What you're doing makes singles feel pressured to partner up. Which makes it harder for them.
First you need...... friends....
Love this!
@@Raysboostin So true friendships don't exist. We only hang out with people we have something in common with. Life is brutal.
The "you're so (insert positive attribute here) how have you not found anyone yet" comment.
100% this. All my (mostly married) friends tell me how great of a catch I am, and my answer to them is "then why am I not married (at 29)!?!"
I hate to break it to you, but those people are taking a shot at you. They're telling you something about you is holding you back, but they're to weak to be honest with you.
@@RaysboostinI’m going to ask why they think that is next time I’m told that.
@@tgdelta better to self reflect rather than depending on people that wouldn't be honest with you in the first place...
Some question deserves to be answered by you alone
I'm 33, been single for 7 years now, I'm not a good looking guy and I suffer from severe social anxiety, so just talking to people in general is hard, especially when it come to small talk. For many people I probably even come of as creepy, so I kind of just stay away, unless there is a genuine connection with the other person, which almost never happens. I'm not giving up though. I accepted that I have to play the game of life on hard mode and that makes the accomplishments feel more rewarding. Nobody is the same. It's easier for some people, it's much harder for others. You just have to play the cards you're dealt and try to find a solution that works for you. One thing is for sure though. It won't happen by itself and without putting the necessary effort.
Keep practicing. That's the only way through it.
Sounds like I am the female version of you - I totally understand where you are coming from.
@@HereIAm247 We talking adoption or just hookinng up with a guy and hoping to get pregnant? Because the hooking up option is going to cause so much more heartbreak for you and your child.
@@neurologylove2135 I was thinking fertility treatment and things like that.
But I find it fascinating that you assume, based on my comment, and the original comment, that the latter is something I would consider. Why do you feel the need to push that agenda into a conversation about wanting a family?
@@neurologylove2135 youre totally assuming here that men are still willing to risk that lawsuit to gain alimony from them for it...
That casual bareback hookup stuff is pretty much considered a common alimony scam waiting to happen in men's eyes...
I met my husband in a rock climbing gym, 14 years ago. Definitely a great place to meet a future spouse! We now have a wonderful marriage and three kids.
Honoring Jesus with your dating relationship MATTERS. If you can resist sleeping with each other when you really want it, it adds so much security to your marriage later!
Great advice❤
alex cameo was not expected!
I was like who the heck is that lol, I don’t know influencers
Im 42 and chronically single. Always been told the tropes ad nauseam. And it's even worse when it's being told by people who have no concept of what it's like to always being not good enough. All I've ever wanted out of life is to have a wife and children, a reason to continue getting up in the morning, to actually have someone else to share life with.
I feel you. Im very unmotivated due to a failed engagement. Moved on but im afraid of dating a guy again. Im 35 and i think it wont happen 😮
Great comment! My sister is 41 and all she wants is to be a wife and mom. Wish I could set you two up😊. Though some people don't like getting set up I suppose
@@etcwhatever So sad to hear women are struggling just as much as us men, strange how if both men AND women are struggling for relationships you'd think they'd just find each other.
Sounds cliché, but getting a dog was the best motivator for me to get up in the morning, go outside and do a walk. And once you're up the day has started and you might as well participate in it.
@@Tim_van_de_Leur dogs are awesome
For me, you gotta pray for your person. I remember telling myself when I was separated. He is working a lot to save money for us to have a home or he’s probably traveling or his family member passed away and he needs time to grief. Then bam, we engaged.
Amen! That's the attitude I've been trying to have!
Blue collar man pursued my crazy ass. He was 40 I was 26 but he loved me where i was, gave me patience, perspective, and the responsibility i was craving. I get to wake up everyday, get his breakfast and lunch ready and our daughter wakes up, this is the dream. He never wants me to work he loves me fully and does everything for us. Every single day he comes home with surprises for us. He calls me 3x everyday and tells me all about his job/people he's working with/side work, and when he gets home, we hang out, and he tells me his future plans. I love him. He loves me. There's nothing 3 yrs ago that could've told me we would ever be here. I've grown as a human being, i got through anorexia, have my bipolar disorder under control, and i live a full life. These amazing men are out there. And I hope these women meet someone who shakes their world up and shows them what living in love is. Especially if you aren't religious. A man like that makes you believe in being here for a reason.
As a 27 year old man who's never had a long-term relationship despite consistently "putting myself out there," the advice men need on dating can only truly come from the women we date.
The issue is that most women, after telling a guy that she don't want to see him anymore, won't give an actual reason, even if she's asked. I've been told at least a dozen times by women who align with my faith, morals, and politics, some variation of "I just didn't feel a connection, but I think you're a great guy!" I know this comes from a good place in the heart of women that they don't want to hurt a guy's feelings telling him why she wasn't attracted to him, but not telling him, even when he asks to know, doesn't help.
All men who are stuck in the perpetual cycle of dating want to know how they can improve, and the only ones who really hold the knowledge to how they can improve are those women they have dated. Maybe he's too reserved when he's with a woman, or maybe too outgoing. Maybe he needs to work on listening more than speaking on dates. Maybe he needs to do a better job at showing signs of affection when he's with a woman he's starting to care about. Ladies, I know it's hard to tell a guy why he wasn't the one for you, but if he doesn't know he'll torture himself a thousand times worse than you ever could, and he'll never know how to grow as a man and as a real suitor for an eventual husband and father.
I don't know if this level of transparency and honesty is sought by women too. I completely understand why women might not want to exactly why she was rejected by men. But ladies, gents, let me know your thoughts on the matter.
Brett, if you ever see this comment, Billie Rae Brandt had a great reel about this a few months back. Might be worth a video.
Totally agree. I've been told I'm a great guy by all the women I've gone out with. But really no further insight was given when asked.
Definitely. This is a great insight--and is true vice versa... bring on the courage and humility! I think it's so great that you're intentional to ask women this, and no doubt helps you get closer to attracting the type of person who would appreciate that as well. I'm also 27, and can relate with what you said. I really think men and women in our generation often "miss out" on seeing the true heart of each other, because of a lack of effort to ask honest intentional questions, listen, and understand each other. There's depth to each person. From my perspective, someone not being able to offer some insight into why they declined you, reveals a lack of consideration in their decision. On the other hand, a loving person, will be quite attentive.
While not getting feedback is disappointing, if you truly value finding someone who is a good communicator and puts in effort, you saved yourself from more disappointment! You deserve to be with someone who genuinely prefers you, much less someone who can't even put in the effort to help point you in the right direction. Anyways, keep it up! I think you're headed in the right direction!
It's a way of dodging the question, she doesn't have the spine to tell you that she's simply unattracted to you.
I think the simplest answer and explanation is that she just doesn’t like you, that’s exactly what it is, she feels no connection, and this doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you or you have to change something, it means that person is just not yours, not for you, or sometimes they might feel that even you don’t feel any connection with them, so it goes both ways
@@cursed5359she doesn’t have the spine or she doesn’t have the heart to tell you? Telling someone you rejected them for being unattractive is pointless at best and hurtful at worst.
34 year old male in Illinois here. Never been in a relationship, on a date, kissed, or even held hands with a woman. Grew up sheltered and religious and was told to focus more on school and getting a good job. Tried dating apps for a year and despite putting serious effort into it, all I got were bots. Ended up deleting the apps because it just made me feel worse about myself than I did before I even tried them.
Now I just go to work at my IT job, then come home and spend my time reading, watching old movies, and listening to music or audio dramas while playing retro video games. I'm naturally an introvert and a homebody so I dont really go out for any social reasons or lead what others would call an exciting life. Im under the mindset now that if I do end up in a relationship, its because God wanted me to at that moment in my life
You are a classical case study of modern young men but you are now in middle age. For a women the process of finding a man is much easier and they have the option of being selective. For men the process of finding a women is much more difficult because they have so much more that they have to display and require much greater levels of interaction to achieve it.
The flip side for men is that they have a wider selection window in regards to time. So if you were a women the clock would be running out.
At the heart of this crisis in society is the lack of mixing between me and women. Here is the thing as well it is much easier for men to select women that are more attractive than they are but it is not the case for women.
The man problem for you to challenge and to work on is confidence. It is the very thing that you should hone in on. WOmen have a natural instinct that can sense a lack of confidence from several molecular chains away.
I can completely empathize. Live in southeast Wisconsin, 10 minutes from the WI/ IL border but briefly lived in Crystal Lake until age 4.
Turned 34 at the end of May. Never been on a date with a guy; no kiss, no holding hands, and certainly no sex...so pathetically body count is zero.
I'm just average looks at best. Took care of myself despite all my medical issues and random extra rare physical injuries. Am 5'7" and 128lbs which used to be 110-115lbs before my heart weirdly gave out at age 25 at my fittest at 14% body fat and 98.9 lean muscle mass as I was a gym rat with weights before it was popular on top of riding.
Never liked drinking or the bar and club scene. Think hookup culture is disgusting and would never do a ONS or casual sex. While I grew up overly religious due to my parents and my private Christian school as well as a veey sheltered upbringing, I wouldn't be opposed to sex before marriage if I was in a committed, monogamous, serious relationship.
Am an old soul as my now late grandparents and my aunt raised me on the classic movies from the 30s to early 70s and listened to 30s and 40s swing and Big Band music as well as 50s and 60s music from my dad's era and would go to Beach Boys, Smokey Robinson, Santana, etc concerts with him. Since 9 years old, I liked being by myself and could entertain myself...peace and quiet. Was immersed in books. Loved traveling all over the world.
Never wanted kinds after my parents volunteered me to babysit for some neighbors children; made up my mind at 12-13 that I NEVER wanted kids as they were too much work, I was too independent and selfish and not maternal.
Would've liked to have gotten married to a man who didnt want kids. Though I did volunteer at various places, my favorite being at a therapeutic riding center for years and really cared for some of these kids who made my chronic pain disorders and health problems look inconsequential.
However, my dad is my hero...was and still am Daddy's Big Princess...and hold him on a pedestal as what I'd look for in a future boyfriend/fiance/husband (but those guys like my dad don't exist anymore or even in the last 13 years) as I see what he and my mom have for 45+ years married and how he took care of me when I got life-alteringly sick at just age 15 with around 20 EXTREMELY rare complex incurable and intractable pain disorders and health problems that span over a dozen different fields and subspecialty fields of medicine that became my full-time job with my dad who became my advocate and the only person who understood and was strong enough for me to completely lean on as I was forced to become dependent just to survive mentally and emotionally while going through physical hell taking me to over 600+ doctors and specialists, appointments, countless ER trips, emergency surgeries, multiple hospitalizations and and traveling the ENTIRE country to all the top ranked hospitals world-wide, some 2-3x like Mayo Clinic and Cleveland Clinic as well as so many others, to no avail which everything literally robbed me of my life--teenage years, 20s, and now early 30s, took all my joys and all my hobbies and passions like reading, photography, horseback riding--jumping and dressage, world travel, concerts, plays, claasic movies fro,m thr 30s-60s, sporting events--especially college and pro football and am lucky to have premium generational seats 12 rows up right next to the home tunnel at Lambeau for Packers games thanks to my late grandpa, working out, going to college (forced to stay close to home going to doctor appointments vs going to any of the Big 10 or SEC universities I got in to--though I do have an associate's degree as I couldn't continue any further with my debilitating, excruciating eye pain, my plan originally was to either double major or likely get a Master's in Nutrition and Exercise Science as I loved working out and love football so would've tried to pursue a career in that vein, getting a job/career, etc.
I never put myself out there (or really never even had the opportunity to do so like a normal college student who then entered the workplace where I'd be exposed/around guys) as I was so mature for my age even before I got life-alteringly sick; and when I got sick, I had the emotional and mental maturity of someone in their mid 40s and again never understood the drinking and clubbing or bar scenes which seemed juvenile and stupid. I couldn't relate to immature and mentally and emotionally weak people my age or even 10 years older. And honestly, even if I put myself out there, what actually good, stable man who was raised with and shares my similar morals and values would want to put up with someone like me who would just be a burden to him when he could have a healthy woman, again, even though none of this is my fault...? Zero.
I fought like hell for a decade until I finally broke. Honestly, I don't know anyone who could do and go through what I have since age 15 and literally have my entire life taken from me. I won't live to 40 as without my dad--who is 77--with me and no doctors willing to prescribe all my necessary high dose quantities of opiods along with my longtime Xanax and Ambien thanks to pansy doctors who have no balls or ethics and also the meddling, lying, corrupt CDC and FDA that get in between a patient and doctor relationship and dictate what should be prescribed and doctors take the guidelines as law; honestly wasn't supposed to live past age 29 as I was supposed to die 5 days before my golden 30th birthday in Europe where doctor patient assisted euthanasia is legal. It's been 18 ongoing years of living hell.
@@kelseyk530 Thanks for the reply, sounds like we had similar upbringings and views. I'm sorry to hear about your medical issues and I hope things get better for you. God bless you 🙏
I completely agree with them it is so annoying to hear these things and when you want a serious relationship, get married and have children. Chronically single for 30 years. Every year I go to weddings two or three times a year and hear about a friend becoming a parent. And you're wondering when it will be your time too
@@marilyn96 been there, still there
Mad respect for Brett encouraging people to use the comment section to actively improve their lives and make connections!
26 male in Michigan here, looking to relocate someday because of how liberal this state is, if the geography works out well hit me up, I promise I'm definitely a catch.
Bro, you just called yourself a catch. Imagine I go on here and say, Guys you should totally marry me. I'm so hot and intelligent and funny. Believe me, I'm a great catch.
Would that kind of message hold appeal to you, or would it come across as kind.of boastful and tacky? So mayyyybe in your search for love you should consider rephrasing and rearranging how you present yourself to women. I'm sure this commentary was unwanted, but I hope you do great in life, if you deserve it
If these attractive people can't find anyone I'm so freakin' cooked 💀
I feel you there
Nah, for those girls there's an obvious reason why. They have too higher standards or there's something mentally wrong.
For a man it's understandable.
The same
SAME
@@305Independent nah we all cooked brother
It's the world we live in,not us.
Porn,dating apps,shitty economic state, less friends,social media, consumerism, sex culture.....
Dont feel bad about it.
Think about this mathematically.
If you are single then it means that another person of the other gender is single as well. So if you are a guy and are single and wont find someone,a woman on this planet won't find her husband.
And the same vice versa.
This was a breath of fresh air for me. I just turned 26 & my biological clock is ringing like crazy as I've always wanted a large family. However I'm in a season where I'm finally getting help for my trauma & getting empowered to make something of myself & my life. It's hard when I want to enjoy this as it's really a dream coming true but at the same time I'm terribly lonely & want to be a wife & mother so badly. I'm trusting God to bring the right man at the right time. I can't even handle men touching me due to trauma so I know dating seriously is not good until I've healed more. My goal is to become a woman who can love & be a strong, capable life partner. A woman who'll be a man's greatest treasure in life. The longer I'm single the higher my standards climb & the stronger they hold.
Praying for your healing 🙏
Glad to hear you are recovering from your traumas. Touch is an important part of human interaction and intimacy, especially between men and women, so it’s good to focus on that. Also, it may be good to see a therapist who deals specifically in trauma if you have not already. They can do wonders truly.
I married my wife when I was 21 and she was 20. We dated with the intention of getting married and we talked about where we wanted things to go and we didn’t shy away from difficult or awkward conversations. We’ve been married for 12 years and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Hope everyone is able to find something similar. GOOD LUCK PEOPLE!
I just wanna say I'm so glad I found your channel! You're quickly becoming one of my favorites and I'm binging all your videos and even sending them to my boyfriend lol 😂
Brett’s face while talking to her hubby was so wholesome 🥰
I’m trying to work on myself and find acceptance and peace in being single. I’d love to be married one day, but I can’t find anyone with similar values. I’m still saving myself for marriage but unfortunately a lot of girls judge me for that which is frustrating, especially cause even the girls I meet at church don’t want to wait or they aren’t really Christian anymore and just go with their families.
God is faithful, He will give you the desires of your heart.
Find a better church my girl. One that shares your values
Yeah, Church isn’t the solve-all here. Women who judge you for wanting to wait until you’re married are NOT the kind of women you want to be with anyway if you’re serious about following Jesus. And especially not if they’re in Church saying stuff like that. That’s a massive red flag.
I have to say, my parents are a testament to “It happens when you least expect it.” Neither of them were looking for anything when God put them together. They’ve been married for like 28 years, but together for over 30.
It happens in His timing
I think saving yourself for marriage is great. I’m doing the same. I wish you the best to find someone.
Every night, I pray for my future husband and that God will bring us together at the right time... and also for patience. I do this because there was a time when my mom was praying for her future husband, and it just so happened to at about the same year as my dad's family (years before they met) were considering checking out the charismatic Jim Jones, but you know... they just kinda never got around to it.
Almost 40 years together and here I am doing the same thing, looking for comparable results someday.
Turning 30 next month, starting to wonder if it's even worth keeping the hope anymore. I needed this video
36 and in the same boat. Got into shape a few years ago but haven't noticed much until this year. I'm good looking and been having 8s check me out. I've even had underaged girls initiate which was weird cause they likely have been in a few relationships already. Keep working on yourself. Start making small talk with any women. I usually spark up a conversation with cashiers. It's not much but it's a start to getting better at talking with all people. Here's the best advice for when you start actively talking with a girl. Get to know them as friends first. Whatever you do don't seem overtly attached and desperate. Happened to me a few times with women, most recently I was talking with this millionaire Ukrainian women and didn't catch my bad comments that showcased attachment. She asked me not to contact back but I plan on sending her a well thought out letter since we was hitting it off well. I'm gonna wait and see if she texts back within 2 weeks before send it cause I've noticed she's still checking out pics of me. Last bit of advice, start praying. God notices our pain and this is why I believe I got this past opportunity.
My husband & I got pregnant after 9 years of marriage (32 years old) & life is so much better with a baby! So much more responsibility in a good way & so much to look forward to.
I'm a chronically single 32yo man. I was engaged once, but she called it off a few days before the ceremony and declared herself a lesbian. It was like a movie.
I really related to the guy saying he wants to be able to play with his kids. It's awful out there.
I bet you’re the sex before marriage type lmao
Holy fuck 🤣
That's actually rough bro i'm sorry
Dude....
I really just want to settle down with someone but no one seems to want to.
@sophiakeele6666 No joke! Especially if you're at all traditional and not a 10
I’m terminally single… after so many years, it’s not even an option… my sister keeps reminding me how “lucky” I am and reiterating how much she doesn’t want a relationship… she’s been married five times.. 🤦🏼♀️ I have heard it all
Luckily for you, you can see her mistakes and learn from them without having to hurt yourself 5 times
I am 22, 23 in a month, and was chronically single my entire life. Never had sex, never kissed, hell never even held a girls hand before. Met a girl a month ago, and now I see the world completely differently. Everyone around us has been trying to break us up and we only become closer as a result. I never thought life could be so sweet until I met her. To all my single people out there, there is someone out there for u. Keep going, and good luck.
Is it an interracial or an age gap relationship by chance?
@harsh3948 Yeah I know them. The woman is 93, and her great grandchildren hate that the guy is younger than them by several years. Love is love.
No but seriously, best of luck to you.
"To all my single people out there, there is someone out there for u."
Do you have the data to back that up.
@@harsh3948 actually both strangely enough. She’s Mexican, actually she lives in Mexico but she’s working in the USA, and she’s 19. I’m Israeli. Does that have something to do with it?
I HAVE AN AMAZING IDEA: Brett needs to create a dating app for like-minded people, dating with intention with a focus on meeting IRL and touching grass (together). There should be a limit though on how many people you can talk to at once because it gets overwhelming. Cap it at maybe 3-5?
Also v cute re: husband!! Happy he’s finally on the show 😊
A nice idea on paper, reality would be much worse. Bots, catfishing, OF self promoting, and that's not even getting into the weeds of how anyone would find each other. And the financial costs to create, operate and maintain it. How to determine for any hypothetical user who their 3 - 5 matches are, and what happens if the user doesn't like any of those 3 - 5 matches? The user can and potentially will continue to keep swiping looking for the best option, so the app would have to figure out how to solve that problem ontop of everything else. Maybe a work around would be that the app matches people 3 - 5 automatically based on sone set of user submitted series of hierarchies/values and preferences, and then they have the option to engage further or not. Moving user choice to secondary status though might discourage users from sticking around. People are fickle and choosy especially when it's at a distance.
@@thegrimharvest it already exists, there are apps where you only talk to one person at a time. If it’s not a match you unmatch and move on. You also both need to swipe yes on each other first, so you’re not talking to everyone. It’s definitely possible and worth looking into because what we have available now simply isn’t working and plays on people’s want for the “next best thing”.