For real!! I didn’t even have a phone until I was in high school when I earned it, and it was a trac phone. We got kicked outside to stay off devices, and when we got in trouble we had to do more housework or help my dad outside with stuff like stacking wood for the winter.
Exactly lol, this is strict??? My kids are banned from using TikTok, she's over here giving them extensions on their hour and a half time limit. These people are sheltered beyond belief.
@@asimhussain8716 Forreal! My kids are 8 and 10, and they’re the odd ones out because I won’t allow them to have phones and will not have tik tok while I pay for their devices when they eventually get them.
i think you underestimate how much we use our ohones outside of school, the blanket and room stuff is totally fair (although imo if a 16 year old wants a computer in their room that's not an unfair request) the 1 hour a day restriction is outrageous, i spend an hour a day using my phone just for revision,
Yes!!!! I have come across and know many friends with kids, that are my kids age, that have their own tablets/ipads and I find it so cringey!!!! The only time I let my 3 and 5 year old use my tablet (which is very rare), is when they are learning for school. And it's only for maybe 15 minutes each.
As a detective that investigates internet crimes against children, this mother gets an A+. It is heartbreaking how much content comes across my desk that is self-generated and the rules she has in her house are what I tell parents would help drastically to prevent it. The amount of parents that roll their eyes and tell me those are unreasonable requests are alarming. Predators are everywhere online and are waiting for you to stop caring about what your kids do online, I see it every day.
History proves that it was far more dangerous in the past due to the lack of DNA study. I agree that children shouldn't use social media, but don't let it provide an illusion that erases all history books.
I remember when i was 14 mom wouldnt let me have a myspace or facebook because of a girl who was kidnapped by a stranger from social media. I am so glad now. Im now 29 and i cant see the good of social media. I actively avoid it. My facebook is mostly used to used to talk to friends. No one on my facebook is not someone i dont know in real life. I didnt get social media until i was 18. It was terrifying to me in the 2010s how much stuff my classmates were releasing on the internet. I remember having my parents go to a cyber security class because i felt they were not being computer smart. My mom was techy dad was not. My mom came home. Looked at me and asked to look over my computer. She did then hugged me. She had been told stories of what kids were telling people online. How kids were being taken because of what what they were tell people. I was always super smart about online because i grew up watching crime shows with my parents i did want to end up like those people on law and order.
This is why i had the passwords to my kids' various online accounts when they first started going online in the early 2000s, and they didn't. After a few years, they had the passwords, too, but knew I would do random checks of their activity to make sure nothing bad was happening. The rule was that if they ever changed the passwords without my prior knowledge, their online privileges were gone. Once they became older teens (16/17ish), I didn't have their passwords, but they would log in and let me look whenever I asked.
The other day someone knocked on my door and I went to the door and nobody was there and I heard giggles and realised it was the kids on my street and I was so happy they’re just being KIDS 😂
In our city's neighborhood app, people are always posting Ring doorbell footage of kids playing in/around yards or ding-dong-ditching, complaining about "Oh God, summer is here again! Please, parents, control your kids!" And I'm just rolling my eyes, like "yes, God forbid kids be outside, acting like...oh, idk...kids!" 😂
My older grandma friend kept cookies and when the neighbor kids (from I think the only young family on the street) would ding dong ditch her. She'd make a whole thing about "Whooooo could it beeeeee? Do I have gnomes in my garden?" and put the cookies out to "catch" them in the act and shoo shoo them away. They'd run off screaming, then come back to hug her. So awesome, I want to be that kind of old lady.
I am a Gen X Mom. I became a Mom at 17. My kids were allowed 1 hour of TV & 1 hour of computer a day. No cell phones until they turned 16, got a job & bought their own. And I could STILL take them away & got to look at them any time I wanted. Chores each day, no allowance for taking care of your home. We did have certain jobs around the house to make some money to go hang out with friends, etc. NO cuddling on the couch & no one of the opposite sex in your room at all. My kids are all in their 30s now. They are responsible, respectful, happy and we are all very close to this day.
I agree with all except the looking at their phone if I were 16 with a phone and my mom looked at it it's sending me the message that my mom doesn't trust me and believes that I'm doing something bad when I'm probably just watching something on TH-cam or playing a game or texting my best friend my parents were strict but they never Checked my phone and I knew that they trusted me so I didn't break their trust and do something bad and I turned out fine!
@@violetkelly-smith3022I agree to some extent with you on this, as a guy and having a Gf I personally wouldn’t want them to be able to go through but on the other hand I would make sure to block all porn and anything like that from them as it is very damaging for kids as studies have shown. It’s scary how normal it is especially with how people cope and say it’s okay when it’s plain weird
If they pay it themselves, as long as their not doing anything criminal or bullying to you or anyone, they shouldn’t get it taken away if they are the one paying for it
@@violetkelly-smith3022 This was often a point of contention between me and my brother and our parents - neither of us really LIKED that they could go through our phones whenever they wanted but I didn't find out until years later that they never really DID go through mine. My brother's all the time - for reasons I won't get into here, but trust me when I say it was warranted. But apparently they trusted me enough that they just didn't feel the need to I didn't like knowing that they could but it did help to know that somebody could be watching and looking back on it I approve of it I mean I kind of agree with the idea that it sends a message that they don't trust me but (initially - this also went out the window later for reasons I again won't get into here) initially they made it clear that they trusted me in other areas that it was never really about that
It has alway been that way. My mother had a sixteen year old, in a very condescending tone, advise her on how to correctly discipline my sister. She was not impressed.
You're right brett doesn't have experience Being a mother. However she does have experience of being a child With a strict parent. And yes, I do believe today's New Young Adults are the way they are because their parents were not as strict😮
Yeah, trust the Doctors, that always works out so well. Did you see the study that now says masks made you more likely to catch it? I will continue to trust my judgment, not some quack in a lab coat.
Those doctors are right. I cannot count the hours of sleep I lost because I had my phone in my bedroom. (And I am 66 so I should have some self discipline by now)
As someone who grew up with a very lenient mother. IT WAS HELL. I was exposed to things I should have never been exposed to at that age. She was a single mother to if it wasn’t for my dads inference I would not be who I am today.
I feel like it depends on child’s personality. My parents were lenient and I didn’t get into trouble but other siblings I had did. I do think in general it’s better not to be lenient. I wish I had more guidance and responsibilities as I had to learn a lot
🥹🙂I Affirm, 💯%. In fact, I suggest that every parent adopt these habits early on in their childraring, as I believe and undoubtedly know that it will help significantly in the learning and development of their child's usage of discipline and discretion🙂🥹
@@firstnamelastname2197 the fact a man has boundaries and expects a woman to be a productive member of the family. Also taking naps, breathing, and anything really so long they dont feel like they dont like it.
I'm 45. This woman is a responsible parent. The world is so used to "let your kids do whatever they want," and so spoiled little a holes think she's strict. Get over yourself. She's a good parent.
KIDS SHOULDN’T HAVE SMARTPHONES OR BOY/GIRLFRIENDS. They should find other things to do, should have FRIENDS, and should focus on school and housework and BEING A KID. I have 3 teens who are very happy, healthy, and fine with my rules. They appreciate that they are loved and have discipline in their lives. They share their electronics and I have all passwords. No Social Media here. God bless ❤️🔥
I'm in my 40s too, and after I heard this mother's rules I rolled my eyes so hard I gave myself a migraine...... 🙄🤣. If I had had those rules as a kid or a young teen I would have thought I was living the dream. My life as a teen was pretty harsh compared to this, but my brothers and I considered it fair.
One of the best things I hear from "strict parents" is when they explain WHY a rule exists. When I hear "because I am the parent and I say so" I know you are an authoritarian. When I hear reasons I know you love your kids and respect their intelligence and respect for you. Communication is key in all of this.
Exactly. Being an authoritarian means those kids will learn to disobey and be sneaky ffs and they won’t respect you especially if it leaks into non rules like when where what and stuff
Kids won't always understand why the rules exist or accept your reasoning as valid. Frankly, kids are often very stupid. So when they won't accept your reasoning as valid and obey based on that, the next step is "you'll just have to trust me, okay. Maybe when you've been around for a few more years you'll understand, but for now you just have to trust me."
Kids with no rules become adults who cannot compromise who cannot sacrifice who cannot marry and who are NOT ABLE to say no to their own self and desires, they become kids prone to addiction. Of any type
Many of them are also neglected in general, or are subject to parentification. The parents may as well be the child, and they wind up minding their siblings due to their parents never being around.
Her problem begins with attempting to get validation from Tik Tok. It's like asking addicts to comment about living without their vice. Of course people are going to freak out.
Agreed. Though, I was gonna say several comments were probably also from children so, of course kids don’t think their parents should control their screen time and devices. Then, for the commenters who are adults, I was gonna something along the same lines as your comment.
I consider myself a little extreme, but I don't think parents should be on tiktok, especially if they post videos of their kids. Kids should not be on Tiktok either.
My mother was very strict. But she also explained to myself and my brother why the rules were in place. If we questioned a rule, she'd answer those questions, and not just in a "because I said so" way. Of course, as young kids, sometimes we'd get frustrated with the rules, but as we grew up, we came to realize that the rules were there for our own protection and benefit. As an adult, I'm grateful I had strict but loving parents, because I've had my head on straight my whole life.
This is how I do things with my son. There are a lot of people out there who falsely assume kids are stupid. Kids aren't stupid. They lack the context you have gained for understanding the world around them. If you treat them like people who don't have the correct of what's going on around them, you'll quickly find they are smart, driven, and friendly
Love this. We are strict and expect our children to obey but alwayssss tell our kids the reason for our rules and nos. We want them to know why so they learn
@@DDD11239 As in intelligent common sense wise. Kids do plenty of dumb things because they're uninformed and don't always know how to control their wants yet, but they're generally not dumb. They can understand things if you put them on their level. I always give them an answer even if it's super vague due to them being too little, or if it's really spicy, I tell them ask their parents.
@DDD11239 Smart is the quality of being intelligent, or to avoid circular logic; the quality of being able to retain, understand, and process information.
Lol they calling that strict?! I remember growing up without a cellphone until 17. One computer and it was shared between siblings with time limit, only for homework, video games off at 9pm, go trim the yard, go help your elderly neighbor with their chores. What they call strict is light weight compared to us OG’s
And what you're describing (very similar to my childhood) is hardly strict in a larger context. My grandparents were from the 'go outside and pick out the stick I'm going to beat you with' generation.
As a middle schooler I had to be in by dark and my grandfather would randomly show up at the park.. my friends made fun of me but I didn't end up getting into drugs like most of my peers in my neighborhood
You have so much more wisdom than so many adults just because you recognize that this is a good thing! Middle school is a really hard time for everyone. So many teens are depressed or anxious just because of the age they are at. Parents mistake this angst for unhappiness. But kids who are truly cared for are probably not truly unhappy. I think if parents heard from more middle schoolers like you, these parents who complain that this is too strict would find out that their teens actually see the value because they're the ones out in the schools and the streets dealing with horrible crap we never had to deal with. SO glad you understand.
As a parent, I am flabbergasted how many of my kids’ elementary school age friends have unrestricted access to smartphones and the internet. At this point, they are allowed to hang out with the kids who do out of our home. There were peers of theirs watching porn every night in the 4th grade. There is a reason that mine are homeschooled.
Wow. We used to use hours upon hours of research, planning, and cunning execution to get 1 fuzzy jpeg of top-only nudity in like 7th grade. Now 4th graders have preferred kinks. This world is lost.
@@totallynotfake1878you’d be surprised. There’s ten years olds who were sexually active in my old middle school. I know plenty of 15/16 year olds who’ve dated 21 year olds or older. Plenty have been drinking and smoking since 11. I even know some who have done cocaine.
I got tore up when I left a comment on another post about telling my boys when they were young that I was their mom and not their friend. So many people were aghast at this statement. Now they’re grown up and we’re on the best terms.
You start as mom and eventually they grow up to be friends. If you start as “friends”, they never have a mother and they grow up to see the fruit of that..
KIDS SHOULDN’T HAVE SMARTPHONES OR BOY/GIRLFRIENDS. They should find other things to do, should have FRIENDS, and should focus on school and housework and BEING A KID. I have 3 teens who are very happy, healthy, and fine with my rules. They appreciate that they are loved and have discipline in their lives. They share their electronics and I have all passwords. No social media here. My kids & I spend time together like families should do. With the doggies too! 😎 God bless ❤️🔥
Yeah when I am on my walks around the neighborhood I see kids under the age of 12 on tiktok with the volume blasted while walking. I even went ice skating like last month, and half of the children were on their phone while skating. I felt very unsafe with these kids on the ice with me because I am primarily a roller skater, and I am a novice ice skater. It was not only the kids with ice skates on their phones, but the employees, who looked young I might add, we also on their phones. Overall bad safety. Compare that to when I am roller skating, and there is a drarastic difference, meaning way less kids crashing with devices at hand. Going back to your original comment parents should restrict device usage (smartphones, Ipads, rokus, apple bracelets , etc) from kids under high school years. The device that were listed in the parenthesis are literally the same exact thing, but in different shapes anyway. The fact is that alot of people don't recognize that. Please restrict kids from devices, because it is an awful addiction to live with, and once society sorts this out they are going to have so many kids in "phone rehabilitation". It really breaks my heart what they have been doing to these kids. It really breaks my heart...
@@DDD11239 lol! YT has been deleting some of my comments lately and it seems random sometimes, so the ones I really care about I copy & paste in more than one place. I think ppl actually need to see not all of us are raising our kids on electronic crack. 😂😂 There’s hope for the future yet! Blessings 🙏🏽
My parents make me put my devices downstairs and I have no issue with it whatsoever 🤷🏽♀️. These people lowkey wilding- Oh and I have a time limit but it’s atleast more than 1 hr. (Actually that’s during school and I’m out of school now)
as a teen i can confirm that my mom is stricter than tiktoks strictest mom. i am not allowed to be places after like 10 pm (unless with a trusted family member), i am not allowed to have tiktok, snapchat, instagram, x, etc, i also have screen time limit for 3 hours total, i shouldn't have a grade worse than a C and my nails can't be too unnatural and long and no full face of makeup. i do have a laptop, tv and ipads in my room but that's because in their opinion i should rather look at a big screen from afar than to a smaller one up close. it does suck sometimes because some 12 year olds have more "freedom" than i do and i can feel left out when my friends do stuff i can't but i understand their reasonings. i just hope that it will all be over soon and other parents would be like this too haha
That's not even strict, my parents aren't strict but go by all of these rules except for the grades and nails. the only social media I can have is Pinterest and youtube
I am 38 and had 20 20 vision all my life until several years ago and I think it has a lot to do with my phone usage! You will be thankful later having saved your eyes.
We're dealing with a generation of overexposure to screen time and underexposure to traditional parenting values. It's time we redirect our focus and reevaluate our parenting styles. The balance between strict and gentle styles seems crucial here.
Most importantly, confidently disregard the 'parenting advice' of the psychiatric industry entirely. These were the 'experts' people trusted and listened to, claiming the whole time they knew how to be better parents, raise better kids. Now we have the most mentally ill generation in human history. And unless you make them answer for it, those intellectuals will go right on believing they were right the whole time.
This is a moderate parent. If all parents aren’t doing at least this then they are failing their children. I’ve been there, I’ve done this and my kids are fine.
"They must feel so isolated and left out..." That hurt me so much. We have devolved to the point where most people can only communicate through social media. The idea of actually going outside and physically visiting other people doesn't even cross their mind.
As a 26 year old, having “strict” parents growing up. You’re not strict, you’re responsible and your kids will have a better chance in society as adults because of that. Good on you 👏👏👏
I'm gonna follow to get ideas cause I think I'd be considered strict in some situations and chillax in others lol I like seeing others styles when it involves common sense.
I am Gen X, and my parents have always followed rules similar to this woman. It was honestly a blessing growing up and now I am grateful for it, an involved parent is a loving parent.
And even though my parents were strict, literally all of my friends loved my parents to the point where they would go to my parents for advice, whether it be puberty or relationship advice, or just general things like that because you could tell that their parents were not involved in their lives the way they clearly needed or wanted them to be, but when you’re teenager, you don’t tend to realizethat you’re missing out on that type of love and care but I definitely saw that in my friends, especially with my mother growing up and until this day
There is a difference between gentle parenting and passive parenting. The problem is that people who say they are gentle parenting are actually passive parenting. Gentle parenting focuses on boundaries and communication with your child. Of course, it doesn't work for everyone but I am tired that people confuse passive parenting for gentle parenting.
Exactly. My oldest is 6 she does her chores before she gets a game and she’s not on it for long brushes her teeth twice a day gets her self ready gets all pf her school work done and there’s nothing wrong with my parenting other parents around my child don’t understand how I’ve done it the ymca has no complaints with working with my children. They are respectful and responsible and I have not spanked them once.
I grew up with an incredibly strict mother but it wasn't a respectful, open dialogue, type of strict. Yes, strict parents DO make sneaky kids!! But only when your mom is like mine. Nothing was ever explained to me, I wasn't allowed to ask or say anything even if I was just trying to figure out why I was being punished. I NEVER felt I could go to her for anything and still don't. And any family I've ever told things to just turned around and told her and then I'd get punished for it. Needless to say I moved 2000 miles away, we barely speak, I didn't want her at my wedding but I was forced to have her there, and I want to keep my children away from her. However, I am for strict parenting. But in the right way. 💛
Please give this Mom a medal🏅.. I am a very similar Mom, and I grew up in the 90s, and we certainly didn't have phones etc. 💯% support for parents like this.
There is a huge difference between "being strict" and being a parent who just refuses to trust their kids. I grew up with friends who came from both of these kinds of households and it was abundantly clear who just had rules that they had to follow and who had crappy parents that were inconsistent with their "rules" bc they just assumed the worst of their kids. Totally and completely different.
Exactly! I remember hearing that most rappers who make music about drugs and alcohol actually limit themselves and make healthy eating/living a priority.
In fact, Microsoft even has a built in feature for parents called "Microsot Family Safety" where parents can control what apps you go on, screen limits, etc (my parents have it for my siblings and I)
My parents didn’t allow us any technology at all during summer vacation growing up. No TV, no wifi, no video games, etc. Meant I spent a lot of time outside and read a lot of books. I think these kids will be fine 😂
When my siblings and I were all teens, the TV broke and my mom refused to get a new one and cancelled the cable. She said "if we're wearing it out that quickly, we watch too much". We were looked at a but weird, but we survived.
Teen daughter here, we have very very strict rules about social media, I don’t have any social media apps and only use the websites of them. My parents don’t want me to he on my phone for more than 3 hours total, they were very surprised how much time I actually spent the other day, and we are working on figuring out what the perfect time limit is. I understand why they have this view point, and we always talk about things before they decide. They often let me choose the punishment bc I understand why i need one. We have grown up conversations and i love the dynamic we have. And the best part of all, my mum can set boundaries, but yet I tell her everything and she is like my best friend
I’ve taught as a ski instructor for a number of years, it was my part time job in high school, took 10 years off and back to it for the past couple of seasons now. In those 10 years I’ve noticed a huge change in children and it’s not good. I went from being able mange a group of 10 kids and actually teach them drills, where as now my groups are capped to 6 ppl max and I’m lucky if can get 2 drills taught in a 2 hour lesson because of how disruptive and disrespectful these kids are. When dealing with the parents, it was very apparent for why the kids are the way they are.
Im 39yrs old and I have a 16 and 12yr olds and im happy to say that we do the same. My husband and I grew up in the 90s-2000s and all we did was play outside, WE HAD NO CELL PHONES!!! We were actually kids. Our kids have to earn screen time, do your chores, play outside, read, etc the more of those things they do the more screen time they have. Sometimes they forget all about the phone. Are kids are not afraid to come to us with anything that they might be going through. If you are fair, reasonable, and honest with your kids you can have both.
you talking about your relationship with your mom made me cry. what a blessing 🖤 my mom & i don't really have a relationship, & my dad was strict while being mean, no communication, no respect, abusive at some points, & it was a "i don't care what you think or say" relationship. now that i'm an adult, only 2 of the 5 kids talk to him anymore (including myself & younger brother). but it's rare & i think it opened his eyes. i agree with strict parenting! but it has to be done lovingly. thank you for sharing you life with us ✨
In my home and family growing up, we had "principles" instead of "rules". This made it much easier to understand why we did or didnt do certain things. It was about right and wrong, not just rules that we had to follow. It also felt like our family was a team that was all on the same page. I have 6 siblings and not one of us ever had any rebellion, and our family is still incredibly close!
Coming from a kid who had strict parents, this lady has it right. I was a rebel and wish I had followed my parents rules. They were strict like her. I would’ve been better off following the rules and instead gave myself memories and experiences I was to erase.
So true. In my early teen years I was a total rebel and ended up getting myselt into some pretty dark stuff over the internet, and ended up becomeing depressed and suicidal, and the only reason I've been able to heal from it was realizing how wrong I was and coming to Jesus...I honestly wish I had listened to my parents. Trust me, they tried so hard to protect me, but I was too "smart" for my own good and had a knack for getting around anything in my way...
I was born in 1954 and I didn't have particularly strict parents. I did NOT have any kind of curfew and had a lot of freedom. But there was an understanding that I only had these freedoms as long as I didn't screw up! I got to do many things that my sisters were NOT allowed to do because I had proven to my parents that I was responsible and that they were not. By giving me the freedom, my parents gave me something important that I did not want to lose. I'm 70 and I still do not have a criminal record.
@@shb8212 My parents allowed me to drink alcohol at family gatherings from the time that I was 10. Grampa and I would slip off to basement or the garage for a before dinner brandy. But he taught me how to sip it and appreciate it. I never saw my father drunk in my entire lifetime. By the time that I was 18 and old enough to buy alcohol it was no big deal to me and I never had a drinking problem, other than not always being able to afford to drink expensive single malt scotch.
Similar. Gen X, I had a midnight curfew as a teen. But no speeches. I'm a country boy, I was raised with a hard work ethic and did more chores and field work by 12 than these teens will do until they're 30. I always great grades and a job by 16. The only thing my dad ever told me was, "I don't care what you do, just don't get arrested and don't make me a grandfather yet" with the understanding that if I got arrested, I would stay there, no bailing me out of my messes. Sure, I did things I wasn't supposed to, definitely things my mom wouldn't approve of, but I've still never been arrested and I've excelled at my career in the engineering field because of how they raised me.
@Swearengen1980 same! I remember putting 12 hour days on a tractor at age 13, starting colts at age 12 and horseback all day... cooking for the family before that when my mom was gone which was often as a traveling nurse.
To add to what Brett was saying about having a relationship with your parents.. and how her mom explained why she had certain rules.. that is the KEY. Today, I saw a parent demand their toddler to say sorry to their sibling but never explain why they should do so. There’s no lesson there. And everyone’s biggest question is why.. or how come? Being communicative in a parent-child relationship is gold when it comes to this because that’s what tells us why we do the positive or negative things we do and when we begin to realize that things we’ve been taught by our parents are things to be right or wrong… that’s what develops trust or distrust. Which is the foundation for everything else.
90s kid here: this is totally normal. I was one of the last in my class in high school to get a phone- a flip phone where you had to press 4x for an "s" in text messages; we had 1 tv in the house which had no cable and it was in my parents' bedroom with a lock on the door and they would lock us kids out if they thought we were watching too much. We got laptops for homework in high school, but that was it. I've lived without a tv since moving out with roommates for college b/c noone wanted to pay money to buy 1 and for the tv services on the internet provider and I am so much happier not having one and will not buy one for my future family. This type of parenting is understanding the stupidity and indoctrination that occurs on devices and is trying to actually protect your kids from that. This is good parenting and shows how the parents actually love and invest in their children instead of having screens parent the kids instead.
Tbf, If my tech was taken after bedtime I would have been saved from developing a really bad habit early on. My parents have raised me very well but the only thing I would change would be their awareness of the dangers of unrestricted internet access
These are our rules exactly!! 😂 I just asked my 17 year old daughter if I was too strict...she said no. And we are very tight..we talk about everything and she doesn't feel the need to sneak around. And tells me where she is all the time. My husband too.
Biggest mistake ever in families is phones, tv, computers in each CHILDS room. These things should be in a community space. Hanging together. Kids rooms should not be appealing to stay in all the time.
Not necessarily true at all. I'm a Gen X country boy. I saved up money and bought a tv and sega when I was a kid. I still spent most of my free time playing sports, shooting shit, hanging out with friends, etc. My tv or video game time was primarily for the 3-4 hours were the heat is brutal during the summer or maybe during a storm if I wasn't at someone else's house. And we'd be watching tv or playing video games during those few hours with a friend or two. My parents job wasn't to sit on their ass and watch tv with me. We did other stuff together, but they also had chores and hobbies to do when not working. My daughter is a teen and she has a tv in her room. And not once has she ever gone into her room to watch tv alone. She uses it to watch a half hour while she gets ready for bed sometimes. It really doesn't turn on all that much. She mainly has it for when friends are over and I can send them to her room if they're disrupting my work or awake after I go to sleep. It's less about the object and more about how you raise the child and form habits before they get the tv in their room. It's about not letting the tv be your babysitting.
Raised on a hobby farm. I got a flip phone at 17 and didn't have time to waste on screens, because the cows needed fed and the horses needed water. I would have killed just to have internet at home. Looking back on it, I am way ahead of the game going into college. Thanks Dad for telling me off when I needed it.
As a Millennial Mom, I totally agree with this mom's rules. Makes sense to me. My mom was very relaxed with tech, saying she's clueless about it and automatically getting overwhelmed and shutting down when confronted with it, and there were SO MANY nights of lost sleep because of the TV in my room and many things I probably shouldn't have seen/read because of the Internet.
I’m the strict mom like you’re describing….I get a lot of flack. Including eating healthy not junk. My teens are16 & 19 and I’ve never given them a phone, however they acquired them without my permission from friends and even parents of friends😡, hid them from me for a long time. The oldest has his own now that he pays for, but my younger just has the one someone gave her she uses on Wi-Fi, and refuses to give me access to it. Not a fun battle.
Whoa! Explain me what she said that was strict. No personal phones for our kids who are in middle school and elementary school. In high school they will be allowed to use a phone for the bus tickets app, Hallow and calling us. In our house we have an open door rule - you hang out with your friends with the door open. Seriously 😳 I have to idea what she that was “too strict”.
Daily chores, content controls on my devices, screen time limits, me not having a cell phone before 15, and my hot blooded male self not being allowed to have intimate relationships were (praise the LORD) all part of my childhood too.
@@ChristianGunNut2001man it’s weird hearing that kids who grew up with devices capable of content controls are of age now. I mean.. I had a flip phone in high school and vcr’s lol. We just had tv and on demand tv later. There were no devices to content control for us 😂 I was outside so f*ckin much. I just wish kids would go outside more again.. it would actually cure a lot of stuff going on.
The fact that these kids even had devices, tvs and computers in their homes is such a privilege! We didn’t even own a tv back in the 80s until late 90s to 2000s bc I moved to a western country!
My mom always used to say, "I am not your friend, I am your mother." As a teen, it was almost hurtful to hear, but as an adult, we are close and trust each other. As I grew up, I realized how much she protected me from within her control, and I am so grateful. I love my parents and their love for us kids became more apparent as we grew up.
Making parents wonderful again. Take away THEphones. Don't pay for smartphones for children. If they are late teenagers or adults let them get it themselves.
KIDS SHOULDN’T HAVE SMARTPHONES OR BOY/GIRLFRIENDS. They should find other things to do, should have FRIENDS, and should focus on school and housework and BEING A KID. I have 3 teens who are very happy, healthy, and fine with my rules. They appreciate that they are loved and have discipline in their lives. They share their electronics and I have all passwords. No social media here! We spend time together as families should. With the doggies too! 😎 God bless ❤️🔥
@@queenj.8i895your teens def have had boyfriends and girlfriends, my friends have strict parents like that and have had boyfriends and girlfriends, I had strict parents and I used to sneak out at 1 am because If I wanted to do things I had to do them that way. You’re naive.
@@LadySofia_Zamora it’s crazy and silly to think you know someone’s life based on one YT comment lol I personally grew up with parents that were more strict than I am and NO, I wasn’t a lying sneak of a kid. I actually respected my parents and the structure they laid out for me. I didn’t like everything about all of their rules, I’m not raising my kids the same way they raised me, but when I was under their roof, I acknowledged that they were in charge. I’m very close with all three of my kids, we’re actually good friends as well as family. They see me as Mommy first and foremost and know very well I have nothing but the best intentions for them. They don’t like all the rules, they cry and fuss, sometimes, but at the end of the day, their dad & I are the parents and they respect that. We have an entire village helping us raise our kiddos, that’s why they’re so awesome. U can keep your ignorant judgments to yourself. I’m not you, my kids aren’t the people you know. ✌️ May God touch & bless you & yours
My parents wouldn't let my sisters and I have a cellphone until we had a job and had our driver's license. They also got rid of the TV when my oldest sister was 9 and the only way we could watch anything was via DVD's on my mom's laptop. We had one family computer and had to ask permission to use it and only had a max of 30 minutes on it. I am a strong believer in this kind of parenting, I am eternally thankful to my parents for their parenting, I wouldn't be where I am without them.
Same. I didn’t have a cell phone until i was driving on my own. I didn’t have a smart phone until I was in college. Family “school room” computer we shared. I did get a laptop when i started college classes in 11th grade. We only had tv for a brief period in our house and that was only because my uncle lived with us on hospice until he passed. I fully intend to have similar media restrictions. I want my kids to know how to use technology and social media but not let it take over their whole lives and personality.
My parents had similar rules and I am kind of in the opposite situation I mean I have a job but my relationship with my parents is meh even though I still live with them.@@Petrolhead9198
Exactly! It's all about communication and understanding WHY we had certain rules and restrictions, not just blanket obedience. My parents also took into account that if we were trustworthy with one thing, we could be trusted with more. We had strict parents but we still both maintain great relationships with them and each other.
I was against my now teen daughter having one, but our school's buses are notoriously terrible. Drivers don't show up, they may be an hour late, and the school rarely informs the parents. My kid has one for 1 purpose: So I can track her position. No social media apps at all, she can't download anything without the password. She's content just texting with her friends. If a flip phone could be tracked, I'd have gone with that.
I can see why her kids think they're strict because they compare them to other parents who do not care about what their kids too. This mom is actually doing a lot right. Having seperate blankets for young couples is appropriate. Not allowing phones upstairs, great. These are not even bad. Sick of the catastrophizing over parents who are just more aware of what their kids do.
My mom (dad deceased) had rules. So glad. She earned all 5 kids respect. 4 University grads. 5 kids working. All different levels of success. Long time passed she still comes up in conversation.
I'm going to be a first-year teacher this year, and I worked as a paraprofessional the last couple of years. I agree that children absolutely need and thrive on rules and regulations. They need to get used to not getting everything they want.
Absolutely!! My friend disciplined her teen and he blew up at her bc that's what hormonal teens do. She literally wrote him a 5 page letter explaining how he hurt her feelings and why she gave him the punishment (which she lessened it) she did. I was flabbergasted. The lesson he learned was throw a fit and mom will cave.
It also depends on the kid. I'm sure that the parent that spends the most time with their kid knows that kid best. You can't be nice to the point where your child knows that you threaten but then you cave in when they do the thing you told them not to. But if the kid only pushes back MORE when you don't stop and think about WHY they're lashing out, it'll only get worse. Like I admit, it's not good to let your child walk all over you. But if your kid has insane anger issues that has them do even more reckless things when you yell at them and basically call them useless, that's not good either. I have better control over my anger now but it comes with the price of being afraid of letting my guard down. I grew up angry because I felt like I couldn't do anything without being criticized for it and then they'd do it for me because I wasn't good enough. I wasn't afraid of physical pain (that just broke me to tears and made me more angry), and I was smart enough to know certain things. As I've gotten older, I realized that I was too harsh on my parents. They didn't know any better since I was their first child. They might be overprotective but they also hurt us (my siblings and I) the most in different ways. For example, I learned on my own time the things that I wasn't able to learn as a kid that I should have been able to do. I still get called names when my parents are angry but it doesn't bother me anymore since I know that they just don't know how to manage their anger issues 😅
@@Abcdefghijajajajawell if you're an adult you are welcome to get your own phone, a parent can decide what's best for their own children. If a parent is buying something for a child they get to decide if and when they get it.
I've homeschooled for 10 years. We also have no screens in bedrooms, we have limit (so relaxed 2 hrs), Thank you for the 1 blacket per person "Love that". My sons are 12 and 15. We are not at the girl friend level yet but it's coming. Thanks. Love this.
This is exactly how I raised my kids! We did allow screens in the bedroom, but it was an old big tv with a dvd player only and they had to “borrow” the movies from us parents, so definitely “parent approved” screen time. For one hour. Ask these young men now, and they DO appreciate that I didn’t raise spoiled a-holes. They actually acknowledge it.
I hated it growing up, that i grew up without a tv and i didn’t get a phone till i was 15 and was a nanny for a year. Now that i look back im really glad
Apparently I am apart of the strict parent club and loving it. We just had a hurricane and my kiddos did awesome because they are so limited and we had no electricity. Other kids were in their driveways trying to get service to watch something. Even when the electricity came back everything remained off and they just played with toys and read. My eldest (had the most strict parenting and is in the USMC) turned out well and doing so good in his adult life.
She sounds like a "Mean Mother". I had a "Mean Mother" MANY years ago. ` Mean Mother A mean mother never allows candy or sweets to take the place of a well-balanced meal. A mean mother insists on knowing where her children are at all times, who their friends are and what they do. A mean mother breaks the child labor law by making her children work. . . washing dishes, making beds, learning to cook and doing other chores. A mean mother makes life miserable for her offspring by insisting that they always tell the truth. A mean mother produces teenagers who are wiser and more sensible. A mean mother can smile with secret delight and pride when she hears her own grandchildren call their parents "mean." What the world needs now are more "Mean Mothers."
Should try the Alcoholic gold digger stepmom sometime... She tried to have me involuntarily committed when I was 11, but after my MMPI results the psychiatrist caller her out... and made it abundantly clear to me that I was not a crazy person, but that my parents were very sick.
Same! I work at an elementary school in Germany and I have 4th graders with unlimited screentime who fall asleep during class bc they were watching Videos until 3 in the morning.
My son teaches K - 2. The stories about the kindergartners with the districts non support is crazy. I asked what about the parents being called in. What you can't control me child. They are fine at home what are you doing wrong? You are wrong that can't be my child just a few. The non support, the child has no accountability so other students see this and start following. His biggest struggle was with the first graders that missed the year with COVID. Stay strong be safe.
Jesus taught, “When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men … but when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your father who is unseen.” Mathew 6:5-8
I love this mum!!! We need yo implement this in our house. Kids are out of control due to social media. I bet most of the negative responses are from teenagers and/or young adults.
Her kids have to . . . NOT STARE AT THEIR PHONES?! The horror. My daughters (who are young) are homeschooled via an accredited online school. The bulk of their tech time is spent on their schooling.
My parents do the same thing! Have very similar rules and the driving and curfew rule to where instead of saying “oh be home by 10” it’s “oh leave there around 9:40 and text me when your leaving so I know your on the way” my parents would rather me be home safe then speeding down the road to get home around a certain time
@@helenamarie4337 Children's frontal lobe isn't fully developed until 25 yrs., not great at making decisions. It's your parent's job to show you how to be a successful adult.
@@meredith3588And once you are an adult, it's your job to pick up the slack of what your parents did and make yourself successful. I'm all for recognizing the impact parents have on us as children, but once we are no longer a children, keeping that narrative is crippling. Taking ownership of how we turn turned out is the only way to mature and move forward.
My mom was an alcoholic. She divorced my dad when I was 3. From there, I had a childhood filled with idiot drunks fighting each other. I have 2 younger brothers and we all have different dads. Regardless (or because) of this, I knew right from wrong and knew I didn't want to be like them. Take some accountability. It's not 100% nurture.
My mother was the opposite of strict and honestly I hated it. I had no guidelines for anything so it always felt random when I got in trouble. Not ready on time for school that’s ok you want to look good, then one day she’s screaming because I’m late. Doesn’t care if I stay up all night playing video games, then randomly decides I have a strict bedtime only to stop caring a few days later, Saying going out with friends is more important then homework but freaks out later that homework isn’t done. I had to learn so much on my own in college that she should have taught me from a young age. Everyone thinks they want parents with no rules but it actually really sucks.
As a tween-teen, this mother is doing an amazing job. She’s much less stricter than most of my friends’ moms are. I know my mom set a screen time like that for my phone, ipad, apple watch, any device i had i had a limit, but i could literally use one app all day and my phone was a brick afterwards but i could text and call, not looking up stuff or anything. I’m not allowed to go out anywhere without an adult with me. I’m not allowed on my phone if i didn’t do chores, feed pets, do dishes. All that jazz.
My kids are grown but my parenting style was very similar to this mom. I’m 63 and know what having “strict” parents looks like and this ain’t it. My daughter used to always say, “but everyone else’s parents let them… ” to which my reply was always “well, I guess their parents don’t love their kids as much as I love you”. Looking back I wish I was stricter with screens and social media.
I’m 41….I didn’t get a phone until I was 18 (also bought it myself). I truly wish kids nowadays had the social media free childhood I had. We had real friends and played outside from dawn til dusk. No one walked around staring down at their phone. Yeah, Ik I sound elderly to adolescents but wouldn’t change it if I could. 🤷♀️
When she was a child, My daughter( who is an adult now) used to tell me all the time that I was “ not the boss of her”!!!! My response was “ until you are 18: I’m God”! I was not a strict parent but a reasonable one. We had rules ( school came first) , respect( like knocking on closed doors and waiting for answer to come in, calling if going to be late both of us) and communication. Choose your battles wisely and start when they are young. I saw so many parents clamp down on their kids the minute they became teens and of course they rebel! I drove my kid to school or would pick her up every day with a few of her friends. Parents asked me why am I spoiling her! I said it was a great way to hear what was going on in her life and her friends lives. I would often times be asked to listen or give advice. I knew who,what, where, why and how she was. I talked to her and listened to her! It was not perfect( we both had explosive tempers). Today, she often looks back at her childhood and wonders how she “ got away” with so much! Then realizes that I knew exactly what she was doing most of the time but she needed to explore, learn and grow on her own terms. She still jokingly asks “ why didn’t you beat me, I was a horrible child? I always respond “ I was not a perfect mother how could I expect my child to be perfect! You were not “ horrible” you were a “child”. Just keep them safe as best you can, respect each other and boundaries and teach children by example. A few rules that all people in the house follow( yes the adults also) and do the best you can with your circumstances.
As I've watched my younger cousins (16-5 years of age) grow up with the mom who just wants to be their friend, I have seen firsthand how important boundaries, structure, and rules are and thank my parents all the time for being the "bad guys" and saying no when needed. I have grown up to be a well-adjusted and responsible adult because I had rules and learned that setting rules and boundaries for yourself even as an adult is important
As a grown adult, I want to put a time limit on my apps. When she said it was a time limit on each app and then kids can send a request for more time if need be and how they can use it to monitor the kiddos' chores? That's fantastic! That's how you adapt to the times.That's not strict. What she's describing is placing boundaries and establishing good habits for the future generation. Good on her.
My nine year old watched this with me. We are not a digital family, we live among nature and books. I tried the iPad thing and it stunted my child's development, then we experienced regression. The TH-cam browsing left her frustrated and irritable which reminded me of my teenage self. No thank you to the brainwashing screens.
I'm Greek and live in the countryside in Central Greece. I'm Gen X. My generation and later are horrible parents who spoil their kids rotten. I'm a teacher and see lots of kids from around 10 to 16 years old.
Lol I was raised without screens in my room and that rule stays with my kid(s). Even though now I do have my phone in our room, I still keep my phone away from my bed-side. I agree with the mom and I believe she’s not strict
OMG laughed so hard over the blanket. I didn’t have the one blanket rule but the concept was the same. My kids and friends would be piled on the couch and we had “show of hands” rule. Hands above the blanket. My kids were embarrassed but their friends thought it was cute. Caught a pair snogging in the corner of the game room, while the rest were watching a movie. When they gave me attitude I suggested that I run my rules by their parents. One said fine. I added that if it’s fine with them then they can come pick you up and their parents can deal with it because “ My ship, my rules.” Ended the rule breaking immediately.
I think what is important is to find a balance. I had two parents wih two completely different parenting strategies: my father let me do most things I wanted to, if I had shown that I had thought it somewhat through. But he would also never take things away from me and never force me to do things I didn't want to. My mother on the other hand was extremely controlling, she would take my devices (that I at that point) needed for school just because she wanted to and if I wouldn't perform in school then she would lash out with more restrictions. For me personally, I spend more time on my devices just to go aginst my mother. As well as, being more addicted to my devices too. Conclusion: Finding a balance is the most important thing! Do not be too strict, but do not let yourself be a pushover.
The upset over screen time is WILD. It's good for kids to not be on the screens all day. I feel bad for kids that are connected all the time. I graduated in 2010, so I still was pretty connected, we could text and had Facebook. But when there was drama at school it was so easy to leave the drama at school. That time away gave me time to take a step bad and assess and talk to my mom about what was going on and either get advice or realize it wasn't that big if a deal.
Used to work at AT&T and I saw some of the worst kids coming in and getting phones. I've always remembered though this one couple. Both super nice and they brought their 14 year old in. She was one of the nicest young teens I have ever met. Very respectful. I helped them out best I could to find a deal for them and get them all set up. It was her first phone. Parents need to normalize having their children earn things. Kids can't make money but that doesn't mean they can't earn things in other ways like chores and just genuinely helping out.
That was definitely my childhood. And I appreciate it now. Sounds like the commenters might be still teenagers and not wanting that. I obviously didn’t like the rules when I was younger, but now that I’m 26, I look back and appreciate it. I didn’t get a smart phone until I was 21 and I was the one to buy it.
These kids have NO idea what strict parents are. This is nothing. In fact, I'm certain they will look back and appreciate these rules in the future.
For real!! I didn’t even have a phone until I was in high school when I earned it, and it was a trac phone. We got kicked outside to stay off devices, and when we got in trouble we had to do more housework or help my dad outside with stuff like stacking wood for the winter.
Exactly lol, this is strict??? My kids are banned from using TikTok, she's over here giving them extensions on their hour and a half time limit. These people are sheltered beyond belief.
@@asimhussain8716 Forreal! My kids are 8 and 10, and they’re the odd ones out because I won’t allow them to have phones and will not have tik tok while I pay for their devices when they eventually get them.
If her kids are smart, these rules will be passed along to their own kids.
i think you underestimate how much we use our ohones outside of school, the blanket and room stuff is totally fair (although imo if a 16 year old wants a computer in their room that's not an unfair request) the 1 hour a day restriction is outrageous, i spend an hour a day using my phone just for revision,
Normalise not having I pad kids
iPad kids being outraged when other people are denied the iPad, funny.
👌💯❤🔥
100% my 5 year old doesn’t have one, and my 2 year old doesn’t either.
Agreed but man screw conservatives they are ruining everything
Yes!!!! I have come across and know many friends with kids, that are my kids age, that have their own tablets/ipads and I find it so cringey!!!! The only time I let my 3 and 5 year old use my tablet (which is very rare), is when they are learning for school. And it's only for maybe 15 minutes each.
It's sad to live in a world where you have to justify, and apologize for, being a responsible parent.
You don't. Just don't apologize, or share with people that aren't sensible.
As a detective that investigates internet crimes against children, this mother gets an A+. It is heartbreaking how much content comes across my desk that is self-generated and the rules she has in her house are what I tell parents would help drastically to prevent it. The amount of parents that roll their eyes and tell me those are unreasonable requests are alarming.
Predators are everywhere online and are waiting for you to stop caring about what your kids do online, I see it every day.
Yep. I'm in my 40s now but was groomed online by a predator back in the 90s.
History proves that it was far more dangerous in the past due to the lack of DNA study. I agree that children shouldn't use social media, but don't let it provide an illusion that erases all history books.
I remember when i was 14 mom wouldnt let me have a myspace or facebook because of a girl who was kidnapped by a stranger from social media. I am so glad now. Im now 29 and i cant see the good of social media. I actively avoid it. My facebook is mostly used to used to talk to friends. No one on my facebook is not someone i dont know in real life. I didnt get social media until i was 18. It was terrifying to me in the 2010s how much stuff my classmates were releasing on the internet.
I remember having my parents go to a cyber security class because i felt they were not being computer smart. My mom was techy dad was not. My mom came home. Looked at me and asked to look over my computer. She did then hugged me. She had been told stories of what kids were telling people online. How kids were being taken because of what what they were tell people. I was always super smart about online because i grew up watching crime shows with my parents i did want to end up like those people on law and order.
This is why i had the passwords to my kids' various online accounts when they first started going online in the early 2000s, and they didn't. After a few years, they had the passwords, too, but knew I would do random checks of their activity to make sure nothing bad was happening. The rule was that if they ever changed the passwords without my prior knowledge, their online privileges were gone. Once they became older teens (16/17ish), I didn't have their passwords, but they would log in and let me look whenever I asked.
@@debraduhon958that's not a bad idea at all. Taking notes for when my kids get older and start using screens!
The other day someone knocked on my door and I went to the door and nobody was there and I heard giggles and realised it was the kids on my street and I was so happy they’re just being KIDS 😂
Same. We have ding dong ditchers and I find it sweet. Lol
In our city's neighborhood app, people are always posting Ring doorbell footage of kids playing in/around yards or ding-dong-ditching, complaining about "Oh God, summer is here again! Please, parents, control your kids!" And I'm just rolling my eyes, like "yes, God forbid kids be outside, acting like...oh, idk...kids!" 😂
My older grandma friend kept cookies and when the neighbor kids (from I think the only young family on the street) would ding dong ditch her. She'd make a whole thing about "Whooooo could it beeeeee? Do I have gnomes in my garden?" and put the cookies out to "catch" them in the act and shoo shoo them away. They'd run off screaming, then come back to hug her. So awesome, I want to be that kind of old lady.
wholesome content
The rest of the kids are just poking others on Facebook, lame!
I am a Gen X Mom. I became a Mom at 17.
My kids were allowed 1 hour of TV & 1 hour of computer a day. No cell phones until they turned 16, got a job & bought their own. And I could STILL take them away & got to look at them any time I wanted.
Chores each day, no allowance for taking care of your home. We did have certain jobs around the house to make some money to go hang out with friends, etc.
NO cuddling on the couch & no one of the opposite sex in your room at all.
My kids are all in their 30s now. They are responsible, respectful, happy and we are all very close to this day.
I agree with all except the looking at their phone if I were 16 with a phone and my mom looked at it it's sending me the message that my mom doesn't trust me and believes that I'm doing something bad when I'm probably just watching something on TH-cam or playing a game or texting my best friend my parents were strict but they never Checked my phone and I knew that they trusted me so I didn't break their trust and do something bad and I turned out fine!
@@violetkelly-smith3022I agree to some extent with you on this, as a guy and having a Gf I personally wouldn’t want them to be able to go through but on the other hand I would make sure to block all porn and anything like that from them as it is very damaging for kids as studies have shown. It’s scary how normal it is especially with how people cope and say it’s okay when it’s plain weird
If they pay it themselves, as long as their not doing anything criminal or bullying to you or anyone, they shouldn’t get it taken away if they are the one paying for it
@@User1924-senope. They’re still minors. If they show they aren’t trustworthy, it should be taken away. I’ll get them a jitterbug until they turn 18.
@@violetkelly-smith3022 This was often a point of contention between me and my brother and our parents - neither of us really LIKED that they could go through our phones whenever they wanted but I didn't find out until years later that they never really DID go through mine. My brother's all the time - for reasons I won't get into here, but trust me when I say it was warranted. But apparently they trusted me enough that they just didn't feel the need to
I didn't like knowing that they could but it did help to know that somebody could be watching and looking back on it I approve of it
I mean I kind of agree with the idea that it sends a message that they don't trust me but (initially - this also went out the window later for reasons I again won't get into here) initially they made it clear that they trusted me in other areas that it was never really about that
It’s interesting that people who have no experience with looking after children are always the people who think they know best.
*Classic social media*
Does Brett have kids?
It has alway been that way. My mother had a sixteen year old, in a very condescending tone, advise her on how to correctly discipline my sister. She was not impressed.
You're right brett doesn't have experience Being a mother. However she does have experience of being a child With a strict parent. And yes, I do believe today's New Young Adults are the way they are because their parents were not as strict😮
@@roachonmyeyenope and her family experienced a lot of tragedy, so take this with a grain of salt. She was also a child actress.
Don’t need kids to know that strict parenting works better than this new age bs.
Doctors say ADULTS shouldn't have tv or computers in their bedrooms....
I mean I have one and I barely use it 🤣🤣🤣 I always end up going to the living room
I mean ya gotta good point lol
Yeah, trust the Doctors, that always works out so well.
Did you see the study that now says masks made you more likely to catch it?
I will continue to trust my judgment, not some quack in a lab coat.
Those doctors are right. I cannot count the hours of sleep I lost because I had my phone in my bedroom.
(And I am 66 so I should have some self discipline by now)
I don’t have one and it’s great
As someone who grew up with a very lenient mother. IT WAS HELL. I was exposed to things I should have never been exposed to at that age. She was a single mother to if it wasn’t for my dads inference I would not be who I am today.
I currently have a lenient mother, it's literally heavenly 😅
I feel like it depends on child’s personality. My parents were lenient and I didn’t get into trouble but other siblings I had did. I do think in general it’s better not to be lenient. I wish I had more guidance and responsibilities as I had to learn a lot
Need a wife like this. She's made the house a home. Kids need this from a mother. 10/10 woman.
🥹🙂I Affirm, 💯%. In fact, I suggest that every parent adopt these habits early on in their childraring, as I believe and undoubtedly know that it will help significantly in the learning and development of their child's usage of discipline and discretion🙂🥹
cringe
@@helenamarie4337 what's cringe about it
@@firstnamelastname2197 the fact a man has boundaries and expects a woman to be a productive member of the family. Also taking naps, breathing, and anything really so long they dont feel like they dont like it.
@@helenamarie4337 god forbid a man wants a responsible mother for his children
I'm 45. This woman is a responsible parent. The world is so used to "let your kids do whatever they want," and so spoiled little a holes think she's strict. Get over yourself. She's a good parent.
what is a 45 year old doing watching brett cooper LMAO
@@helenamarie4337why not? I’m 36 I think she makes good content and we share the same values
I agree, which is why we have a generation of non binary furries. You can be what you want, who you want, have what you want ......... Uh no!
KIDS SHOULDN’T HAVE SMARTPHONES OR BOY/GIRLFRIENDS. They should find other things to do, should have FRIENDS, and should focus on school and housework and BEING A KID. I have 3 teens who are very happy, healthy, and fine with my rules. They appreciate that they are loved and have discipline in their lives.
They share their electronics and I have all passwords. No Social Media here.
God bless ❤️🔥
I'm in my 40s too, and after I heard this mother's rules I rolled my eyes so hard I gave myself a migraine...... 🙄🤣. If I had had those rules as a kid or a young teen I would have thought I was living the dream. My life as a teen was pretty harsh compared to this, but my brothers and I considered it fair.
One of the best things I hear from "strict parents" is when they explain WHY a rule exists. When I hear "because I am the parent and I say so" I know you are an authoritarian. When I hear reasons I know you love your kids and respect their intelligence and respect for you. Communication is key in all of this.
💯
Exactly. Being an authoritarian means those kids will learn to disobey and be sneaky ffs and they won’t respect you especially if it leaks into non rules like when where what and stuff
Communication will lead to criminals and dependent grown adults that wont want to work and be normal. You can explain the reasons but not 100 times.
Kids won't always understand why the rules exist or accept your reasoning as valid. Frankly, kids are often very stupid. So when they won't accept your reasoning as valid and obey based on that, the next step is "you'll just have to trust me, okay. Maybe when you've been around for a few more years you'll understand, but for now you just have to trust me."
Kids with no rules become adults who cannot compromise who cannot sacrifice who cannot marry and who are NOT ABLE to say no to their own self and desires, they become kids prone to addiction. Of any type
Many of them are also neglected in general, or are subject to parentification. The parents may as well be the child, and they wind up minding their siblings due to their parents never being around.
Agreed 💯💯
Her problem begins with attempting to get validation from Tik Tok. It's like asking addicts to comment about living without their vice. Of course people are going to freak out.
Such a good point
Maybe she just knew it would get this far…
I agree. Don't go to Tiktok for anything
Agreed. Though, I was gonna say several comments were probably also from children so, of course kids don’t think their parents should control their screen time and devices. Then, for the commenters who are adults, I was gonna something along the same lines as your comment.
I consider myself a little extreme, but I don't think parents should be on tiktok, especially if they post videos of their kids. Kids should not be on Tiktok either.
My hubby and I do this. We’ve been told by ex friends that we were abusing our kids. 🙄
You are bro
@@Liya-jt1bj I Hope a child isnt unlucky enough to have you as a parent
@@Caleblovingking1 how is what I'm saying wrong?
@ Not you my dear
the person on top who posted the comment. I was agreeing with you
@@Liya-jt1bj i am still getting used to social media
My mother was very strict. But she also explained to myself and my brother why the rules were in place. If we questioned a rule, she'd answer those questions, and not just in a "because I said so" way. Of course, as young kids, sometimes we'd get frustrated with the rules, but as we grew up, we came to realize that the rules were there for our own protection and benefit. As an adult, I'm grateful I had strict but loving parents, because I've had my head on straight my whole life.
This is how I do things with my son.
There are a lot of people out there who falsely assume kids are stupid. Kids aren't stupid. They lack the context you have gained for understanding the world around them. If you treat them like people who don't have the correct of what's going on around them, you'll quickly find they are smart, driven, and friendly
Love this. We are strict and expect our children to obey but alwayssss tell our kids the reason for our rules and nos. We want them to know why so they learn
@@TheRosgath Define "smart" since not many adults seem to have grown out of their teenaged behavior.
@@DDD11239 As in intelligent common sense wise. Kids do plenty of dumb things because they're uninformed and don't always know how to control their wants yet, but they're generally not dumb. They can understand things if you put them on their level. I always give them an answer even if it's super vague due to them being too little, or if it's really spicy, I tell them ask their parents.
@DDD11239 Smart is the quality of being intelligent, or to avoid circular logic; the quality of being able to retain, understand, and process information.
Lol they calling that strict?! I remember growing up without a cellphone until 17. One computer and it was shared between siblings with time limit, only for homework, video games off at 9pm, go trim the yard, go help your elderly neighbor with their chores. What they call strict is light weight compared to us OG’s
FR! I only got my phone at 16 (for my job), and my siblings and I still share commputers...
And what you're describing (very similar to my childhood) is hardly strict in a larger context. My grandparents were from the 'go outside and pick out the stick I'm going to beat you with' generation.
Not having a smartphone until 17 is strict? Who paid for it?
@@lukedornon7799 then you obviously haven’t grown up in the Caribbean my friend. Back in the days they really mean it with strict.
@@amylynnhunt55 definitely my mother, and that’s because I was leaving high school.
When I turned 20 I thanked my parents for being strict with me and I am who I am today because of them ❤
As a middle schooler I had to be in by dark and my grandfather would randomly show up at the park.. my friends made fun of me but I didn't end up getting into drugs like most of my peers in my neighborhood
You have so much more wisdom than so many adults just because you recognize that this is a good thing! Middle school is a really hard time for everyone. So many teens are depressed or anxious just because of the age they are at. Parents mistake this angst for unhappiness. But kids who are truly cared for are probably not truly unhappy. I think if parents heard from more middle schoolers like you, these parents who complain that this is too strict would find out that their teens actually see the value because they're the ones out in the schools and the streets dealing with horrible crap we never had to deal with. SO glad you understand.
Most of the kids are into drugs?
Is that normal these days?
As a middle schooler, I’m not even allowed to go out 😭
@@normavoyton3208 that’s a little too sheltered but ok
As a parent, I am flabbergasted how many of my kids’ elementary school age friends have unrestricted access to smartphones and the internet. At this point, they are allowed to hang out with the kids who do out of our home. There were peers of theirs watching porn every night in the 4th grade. There is a reason that mine are homeschooled.
THIS. The things my 4th grader has come home to tell me is shocking! She will be doing virtual school after 5th grade.
FB and TH-cam basically allow it as long as something is covering them, even if it's see through
Holy crap, porn in 4th grade?! They're like 10 years old! Wtf
Wow. We used to use hours upon hours of research, planning, and cunning execution to get 1 fuzzy jpeg of top-only nudity in like 7th grade. Now 4th graders have preferred kinks. This world is lost.
@@totallynotfake1878you’d be surprised. There’s ten years olds who were sexually active in my old middle school. I know plenty of 15/16 year olds who’ve dated 21 year olds or older. Plenty have been drinking and smoking since 11. I even know some who have done cocaine.
I got tore up when I left a comment on another post about telling my boys when they were young that I was their mom and not their friend. So many people were aghast at this statement. Now they’re grown up and we’re on the best terms.
You start as mom and eventually they grow up to be friends. If you start as “friends”, they never have a mother and they grow up to see the fruit of that..
Make Parents Parent Again!
KIDS SHOULDN’T HAVE SMARTPHONES OR BOY/GIRLFRIENDS. They should find other things to do, should have FRIENDS, and should focus on school and housework and BEING A KID. I have 3 teens who are very happy, healthy, and fine with my rules. They appreciate that they are loved and have discipline in their lives.
They share their electronics and I have all passwords. No social media here. My kids & I spend time together like families should do. With the doggies too! 😎
God bless ❤️🔥
Yeah when I am on my walks around the neighborhood I see kids under the age of 12 on tiktok with the volume blasted while walking. I even went ice skating like last month, and half of the children were on their phone while skating. I felt very unsafe with these kids on the ice with me because I am primarily a roller skater, and I am a novice ice skater. It was not only the kids with ice skates on their phones, but the employees, who looked young I might add, we also on their phones. Overall bad safety. Compare that to when I am roller skating, and there is a drarastic difference, meaning way less kids crashing with devices at hand. Going back to your original comment parents should restrict device usage (smartphones, Ipads, rokus, apple bracelets , etc) from kids under high school years. The device that were listed in the parenthesis are literally the same exact thing, but in different shapes anyway. The fact is that alot of people don't recognize that. Please restrict kids from devices, because it is an awful addiction to live with, and once society sorts this out they are going to have so many kids in "phone rehabilitation". It really breaks my heart what they have been doing to these kids. It really breaks my heart...
@@queenj.8i895 We get it. Jesus.
@@sunflowerfoxs Unless your screen usage is very low, look at yourself in the mirror.
@@DDD11239 lol! YT has been deleting some of my comments lately and it seems random sometimes, so the ones I really care about I copy & paste in more than one place. I think ppl actually need to see not all of us are raising our kids on electronic crack. 😂😂 There’s hope for the future yet!
Blessings 🙏🏽
I am a young teen and I give myself a 25 minute time limit on TikTok, if I didn’t I would be there for HOURS!!!
good on you
My parents make me put my devices downstairs and I have no issue with it whatsoever 🤷🏽♀️. These people lowkey wilding-
Oh and I have a time limit but it’s atleast more than 1 hr. (Actually that’s during school and I’m out of school now)
Same!
Wow! With that self discipline you have; utilize it elsewhere and watch the kind of successful life you can possess.
that's a good amount of time. You get to be updated on your friends and trends, while not being overstimulated or left behind.
as a teen i can confirm that my mom is stricter than tiktoks strictest mom. i am not allowed to be places after like 10 pm (unless with a trusted family member), i am not allowed to have tiktok, snapchat, instagram, x, etc, i also have screen time limit for 3 hours total, i shouldn't have a grade worse than a C and my nails can't be too unnatural and long and no full face of makeup. i do have a laptop, tv and ipads in my room but that's because in their opinion i should rather look at a big screen from afar than to a smaller one up close. it does suck sometimes because some 12 year olds have more "freedom" than i do and i can feel left out when my friends do stuff i can't but i understand their reasonings. i just hope that it will all be over soon and other parents would be like this too haha
that is not that strict.
That's not even strict, my parents aren't strict but go by all of these rules except for the grades and nails. the only social media I can have is Pinterest and youtube
That’s not strict, that’s more than most get 😂
I am 38 and had 20 20 vision all my life until several years ago and I think it has a lot to do with my phone usage! You will be thankful later having saved your eyes.
We're dealing with a generation of overexposure to screen time and underexposure to traditional parenting values. It's time we redirect our focus and reevaluate our parenting styles. The balance between strict and gentle styles seems crucial here.
Most importantly, confidently disregard the 'parenting advice' of the psychiatric industry entirely. These were the 'experts' people trusted and listened to, claiming the whole time they knew how to be better parents, raise better kids. Now we have the most mentally ill generation in human history. And unless you make them answer for it, those intellectuals will go right on believing they were right the whole time.
This is a moderate parent. If all parents aren’t doing at least this then they are failing their children. I’ve been there, I’ve done this and my kids are fine.
"They must feel so isolated and left out..." That hurt me so much. We have devolved to the point where most people can only communicate through social media. The idea of actually going outside and physically visiting other people doesn't even cross their mind.
oh hi!! Strict mom here! Thanks for this take!! I am kinda in awe hearing you talk about us! hahah! THANKS!!!
As a 26 year old, having “strict” parents growing up. You’re not strict, you’re responsible and your kids will have a better chance in society as adults because of that. Good on you 👏👏👏
Hi! I'm also strict. 😂 My kids don't even have phones. Your rules are very reasonable and the world would be better with more parents like you! ❤
I'm gonna follow to get ideas cause I think I'd be considered strict in some situations and chillax in others lol I like seeing others styles when it involves common sense.
You’re doing it right!!!
Don't let parents of Ipad kids tell you anything.
I am Gen X, and my parents have always followed rules similar to this woman. It was honestly a blessing growing up and now I am grateful for it, an involved parent is a loving parent.
We are best generation. We had rules and our kids had rules
Very blessed. Many Gen X’er kids didn’t have that.
@@katemiller7874we ARE the best generation. But most Gen X kids I grew up with didn’t have that. We weren’t azzholes but we didn’t have much stability
And even though my parents were strict, literally all of my friends loved my parents to the point where they would go to my parents for advice, whether it be puberty or relationship advice, or just general things like that because you could tell that their parents were not involved in their lives the way they clearly needed or wanted them to be, but when you’re teenager, you don’t tend to realizethat you’re missing out on that type of love and care but I definitely saw that in my friends, especially with my mother growing up and until this day
As someone who didn't have parents that were hardly involved, I'm so happy for you and the friends that had that support. Thank your parents for me 😭💗
I didn’t have gentle parenting and I’m so glad. I now have disciple over my own life
There is a difference between gentle parenting and passive parenting. The problem is that people who say they are gentle parenting are actually passive parenting. Gentle parenting focuses on boundaries and communication with your child. Of course, it doesn't work for everyone but I am tired that people confuse passive parenting for gentle parenting.
Exactly. My oldest is 6 she does her chores before she gets a game and she’s not on it for long brushes her teeth twice a day gets her self ready gets all pf her school work done and there’s nothing wrong with my parenting other parents around my child don’t understand how I’ve done it the ymca has no complaints with working with my children. They are respectful and responsible and I have not spanked them once.
Exactly. I'm so sick of people getting it twisted.
I grew up with an incredibly strict mother but it wasn't a respectful, open dialogue, type of strict. Yes, strict parents DO make sneaky kids!! But only when your mom is like mine. Nothing was ever explained to me, I wasn't allowed to ask or say anything even if I was just trying to figure out why I was being punished. I NEVER felt I could go to her for anything and still don't. And any family I've ever told things to just turned around and told her and then I'd get punished for it.
Needless to say I moved 2000 miles away, we barely speak, I didn't want her at my wedding but I was forced to have her there, and I want to keep my children away from her.
However, I am for strict parenting. But in the right way. 💛
Please give this Mom a medal🏅.. I am a very similar Mom, and I grew up in the 90s, and we certainly didn't have phones etc. 💯% support for parents like this.
There is a huge difference between "being strict" and being a parent who just refuses to trust their kids. I grew up with friends who came from both of these kinds of households and it was abundantly clear who just had rules that they had to follow and who had crappy parents that were inconsistent with their "rules" bc they just assumed the worst of their kids. Totally and completely different.
Yes. I will trust them until they give me a reason not to
Inconsistent parents are bad parents. And if they assumed the worst of their children, they're probably projecting.
I still remember street lights being my time to go home.
I wish I was allowed outside…
@@adlinreese Your parents are idiots.
@@adlinreeseYou’re not allowed outside at all?? Like ever? ‘Cause if so, *that’s* concerning.
My mom raised me EXACTLY like that with those rules and more, but I had an actual childhood and I am forever grateful for that!
The media moguls who run Amazon, Facebook, IBM, Microsoft are very strict on their kids social media and screen times.
Exactly! I remember hearing that most rappers who make music about drugs and alcohol actually limit themselves and make healthy eating/living a priority.
In fact, Microsoft even has a built in feature for parents called "Microsot Family Safety" where parents can control what apps you go on, screen limits, etc (my parents have it for my siblings and I)
They also know how they made it to corrupt.
My parents didn’t allow us any technology at all during summer vacation growing up. No TV, no wifi, no video games, etc. Meant I spent a lot of time outside and read a lot of books. I think these kids will be fine 😂
When my siblings and I were all teens, the TV broke and my mom refused to get a new one and cancelled the cable. She said "if we're wearing it out that quickly, we watch too much".
We were looked at a but weird, but we survived.
Teen daughter here, we have very very strict rules about social media, I don’t have any social media apps and only use the websites of them. My parents don’t want me to he on my phone for more than 3 hours total, they were very surprised how much time I actually spent the other day, and we are working on figuring out what the perfect time limit is. I understand why they have this view point, and we always talk about things before they decide. They often let me choose the punishment bc I understand why i need one. We have grown up conversations and i love the dynamic we have. And the best part of all, my mum can set boundaries, but yet I tell her everything and she is like my best friend
I’ve taught as a ski instructor for a number of years, it was my part time job in high school, took 10 years off and back to it for the past couple of seasons now. In those 10 years I’ve noticed a huge change in children and it’s not good. I went from being able mange a group of 10 kids and actually teach them drills, where as now my groups are capped to 6 ppl max and I’m lucky if can get 2 drills taught in a 2 hour lesson because of how disruptive and disrespectful these kids are. When dealing with the parents, it was very apparent for why the kids are the way they are.
Im 39yrs old and I have a 16 and 12yr olds and im happy to say that we do the same. My husband and I grew up in the 90s-2000s and all we did was play outside, WE HAD NO CELL PHONES!!! We were actually kids. Our kids have to earn screen time, do your chores, play outside, read, etc the more of those things they do the more screen time they have. Sometimes they forget all about the phone. Are kids are not afraid to come to us with anything that they might be going through. If you are fair, reasonable, and honest with your kids you can have both.
you talking about your relationship with your mom made me cry. what a blessing 🖤 my mom & i don't really have a relationship, & my dad was strict while being mean, no communication, no respect, abusive at some points, & it was a "i don't care what you think or say" relationship. now that i'm an adult, only 2 of the 5 kids talk to him anymore (including myself & younger brother). but it's rare & i think it opened his eyes. i agree with strict parenting! but it has to be done lovingly. thank you for sharing you life with us ✨
In my home and family growing up, we had "principles" instead of "rules". This made it much easier to understand why we did or didnt do certain things. It was about right and wrong, not just rules that we had to follow. It also felt like our family was a team that was all on the same page. I have 6 siblings and not one of us ever had any rebellion, and our family is still incredibly close!
Coming from a kid who had strict parents, this lady has it right. I was a rebel and wish I had followed my parents rules. They were strict like her. I would’ve been better off following the rules and instead gave myself memories and experiences I was to erase.
So true. In my early teen years I was a total rebel and ended up getting myselt into some pretty dark stuff over the internet, and ended up becomeing depressed and suicidal, and the only reason I've been able to heal from it was realizing how wrong I was and coming to Jesus...I honestly wish I had listened to my parents. Trust me, they tried so hard to protect me, but I was too "smart" for my own good and had a knack for getting around anything in my way...
I’m 22 I still have screen time limits. I plan on doing the same exact thing when I have kids.
I was born in 1954 and I didn't have particularly strict parents. I did NOT have any kind of curfew and had a lot of freedom. But there was an understanding that I only had these freedoms as long as I didn't screw up! I got to do many things that my sisters were NOT allowed to do because I had proven to my parents that I was responsible and that they were not. By giving me the freedom, my parents gave me something important that I did not want to lose. I'm 70 and I still do not have a criminal record.
My parents were the same way and I never so much as sipped alcohol or kiss a boy. Millennial here 😊
@@shb8212 As long as you don't sleep around as an adult.
@@shb8212 My parents allowed me to drink alcohol at family gatherings from the time that I was 10. Grampa and I would slip off to basement or the garage for a before dinner brandy. But he taught me how to sip it and appreciate it. I never saw my father drunk in my entire lifetime. By the time that I was 18 and old enough to buy alcohol it was no big deal to me and I never had a drinking problem, other than not always being able to afford to drink expensive single malt scotch.
Similar. Gen X, I had a midnight curfew as a teen. But no speeches. I'm a country boy, I was raised with a hard work ethic and did more chores and field work by 12 than these teens will do until they're 30. I always great grades and a job by 16. The only thing my dad ever told me was, "I don't care what you do, just don't get arrested and don't make me a grandfather yet" with the understanding that if I got arrested, I would stay there, no bailing me out of my messes. Sure, I did things I wasn't supposed to, definitely things my mom wouldn't approve of, but I've still never been arrested and I've excelled at my career in the engineering field because of how they raised me.
@Swearengen1980 same! I remember putting 12 hour days on a tractor at age 13, starting colts at age 12 and horseback all day... cooking for the family before that when my mom was gone which was often as a traveling nurse.
I remember when my mom banned me from devices, now I realise why because the things social media teaches kids today it's actually sad.😢
To add to what Brett was saying about having a relationship with your parents.. and how her mom explained why she had certain rules.. that is the KEY. Today, I saw a parent demand their toddler to say sorry to their sibling but never explain why they should do so. There’s no lesson there. And everyone’s biggest question is why.. or how come? Being communicative in a parent-child relationship is gold when it comes to this because that’s what tells us why we do the positive or negative things we do and when we begin to realize that things we’ve been taught by our parents are things to be right or wrong… that’s what develops trust or distrust. Which is the foundation for everything else.
90s kid here: this is totally normal. I was one of the last in my class in high school to get a phone- a flip phone where you had to press 4x for an "s" in text messages; we had 1 tv in the house which had no cable and it was in my parents' bedroom with a lock on the door and they would lock us kids out if they thought we were watching too much. We got laptops for homework in high school, but that was it. I've lived without a tv since moving out with roommates for college b/c noone wanted to pay money to buy 1 and for the tv services on the internet provider and I am so much happier not having one and will not buy one for my future family. This type of parenting is understanding the stupidity and indoctrination that occurs on devices and is trying to actually protect your kids from that. This is good parenting and shows how the parents actually love and invest in their children instead of having screens parent the kids instead.
Tbf, If my tech was taken after bedtime I would have been saved from developing a really bad habit early on. My parents have raised me very well but the only thing I would change would be their awareness of the dangers of unrestricted internet access
These are our rules exactly!! 😂 I just asked my 17 year old daughter if I was too strict...she said no. And we are very tight..we talk about everything and she doesn't feel the need to sneak around. And tells me where she is all the time. My husband too.
They think she's strict???? They do not know what strict is! Kids NEED boundaries They need rules and they NEED discipline!
Love profile pic 🫂💙🤍💙🤍💙🇮🇱💙🤍💙🤍💙🫂
@@diamond_iceblock me tooo 💙🤍
Biggest mistake ever in families is phones, tv, computers in each CHILDS room. These things should be in a community space. Hanging together. Kids rooms should not be appealing to stay in all the time.
Not necessarily true at all. I'm a Gen X country boy. I saved up money and bought a tv and sega when I was a kid. I still spent most of my free time playing sports, shooting shit, hanging out with friends, etc. My tv or video game time was primarily for the 3-4 hours were the heat is brutal during the summer or maybe during a storm if I wasn't at someone else's house. And we'd be watching tv or playing video games during those few hours with a friend or two. My parents job wasn't to sit on their ass and watch tv with me. We did other stuff together, but they also had chores and hobbies to do when not working. My daughter is a teen and she has a tv in her room. And not once has she ever gone into her room to watch tv alone. She uses it to watch a half hour while she gets ready for bed sometimes. It really doesn't turn on all that much. She mainly has it for when friends are over and I can send them to her room if they're disrupting my work or awake after I go to sleep. It's less about the object and more about how you raise the child and form habits before they get the tv in their room. It's about not letting the tv be your babysitting.
Raised on a hobby farm. I got a flip phone at 17 and didn't have time to waste on screens, because the cows needed fed and the horses needed water. I would have killed just to have internet at home. Looking back on it, I am way ahead of the game going into college. Thanks Dad for telling me off when I needed it.
Those kids are going to grow up to be thankful for those rules. I know that I am SUPER thankful that my parents had similar rules.
Agreed!
Why are you super thankful your parents had those rules though.
@@thewewguy8t88 Because they taught good lessons.
@@ZacktheAwesomeness my parents tried to have similar rules and I feel like they just made things more fursturating for me.
@@thewewguy8t88 Sometimes it depends on the person tbh
As a Millennial Mom, I totally agree with this mom's rules. Makes sense to me. My mom was very relaxed with tech, saying she's clueless about it and automatically getting overwhelmed and shutting down when confronted with it, and there were SO MANY nights of lost sleep because of the TV in my room and many things I probably shouldn't have seen/read because of the Internet.
A friend of mine was like your mom. Her kids are messed up.
I’m the strict mom like you’re describing….I get a lot of flack. Including eating healthy not junk. My teens are16 & 19 and I’ve never given them a phone, however they acquired them without my permission from friends and even parents of friends😡, hid them from me for a long time. The oldest has his own now that he pays for, but my younger just has the one someone gave her she uses on Wi-Fi, and refuses to give me access to it. Not a fun battle.
Whoa! Explain me what she said that was strict. No personal phones for our kids who are in middle school and elementary school. In high school they will be allowed to use a phone for the bus tickets app, Hallow and calling us. In our house we have an open door rule - you hang out with your friends with the door open. Seriously 😳 I have to idea what she that was “too strict”.
Add daily chores and farmwork, that was my childhood too.
Daily chores, content controls on my devices, screen time limits, me not having a cell phone before 15, and my hot blooded male self not being allowed to have intimate relationships were (praise the LORD) all part of my childhood too.
@@ChristianGunNut2001man it’s weird hearing that kids who grew up with devices capable of content controls are of age now. I mean.. I had a flip phone in high school and vcr’s lol. We just had tv and on demand tv later. There were no devices to content control for us 😂 I was outside so f*ckin much. I just wish kids would go outside more again.. it would actually cure a lot of stuff going on.
The fact that these kids even had devices, tvs and computers in their homes is such a privilege! We didn’t even own a tv back in the 80s until late 90s to 2000s bc I moved to a western country!
My mom always used to say, "I am not your friend, I am your mother." As a teen, it was almost hurtful to hear, but as an adult, we are close and trust each other. As I grew up, I realized how much she protected me from within her control, and I am so grateful. I love my parents and their love for us kids became more apparent as we grew up.
Making parents wonderful again. Take away THEphones. Don't pay for smartphones for children. If they are late teenagers or adults let them get it themselves.
@Kwildcat13but kids also don’t need IPADS! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR HEAD!
My kids got a phone when they could pay for one.
KIDS SHOULDN’T HAVE SMARTPHONES OR BOY/GIRLFRIENDS. They should find other things to do, should have FRIENDS, and should focus on school and housework and BEING A KID. I have 3 teens who are very happy, healthy, and fine with my rules. They appreciate that they are loved and have discipline in their lives.
They share their electronics and I have all passwords. No social media here! We spend time together as families should. With the doggies too! 😎
God bless ❤️🔥
@@queenj.8i895your teens def have had boyfriends and girlfriends, my friends have strict parents like that and have had boyfriends and girlfriends, I had strict parents and I used to sneak out at 1 am because If I wanted to do things I had to do them that way. You’re naive.
@@LadySofia_Zamora it’s crazy and silly to think you know someone’s life based on one YT comment lol
I personally grew up with parents that were more strict than I am and NO, I wasn’t a lying sneak of a kid. I actually respected my parents and the structure they laid out for me. I didn’t like everything about all of their rules, I’m not raising my kids the same way they raised me, but when I was under their roof, I acknowledged that they were in charge. I’m very close with all three of my kids, we’re actually good friends as well as family. They see me as Mommy first and foremost and know very well I have nothing but the best intentions for them. They don’t like all the rules, they cry and fuss, sometimes, but at the end of the day, their dad & I are the parents and they respect that. We have an entire village helping us raise our kiddos, that’s why they’re so awesome.
U can keep your ignorant judgments to yourself. I’m not you, my kids aren’t the people you know. ✌️
May God touch & bless you & yours
so important to communicate the reason behind rules and what good they're meant to protect
My parents wouldn't let my sisters and I have a cellphone until we had a job and had our driver's license. They also got rid of the TV when my oldest sister was 9 and the only way we could watch anything was via DVD's on my mom's laptop. We had one family computer and had to ask permission to use it and only had a max of 30 minutes on it. I am a strong believer in this kind of parenting, I am eternally thankful to my parents for their parenting, I wouldn't be where I am without them.
Where are you right now?
@@thewewguy8t88 stable full time job and healthy relationship with my sisters and my parents
I have a stable full time job, healthy relationship with my parents and my sisters and I'm able to support myself financially.
Same. I didn’t have a cell phone until i was driving on my own. I didn’t have a smart phone until I was in college.
Family “school room” computer we shared. I did get a laptop when i started college classes in 11th grade.
We only had tv for a brief period in our house and that was only because my uncle lived with us on hospice until he passed.
I fully intend to have similar media restrictions. I want my kids to know how to use technology and social media but not let it take over their whole lives and personality.
My parents had similar rules and I am kind of in the opposite situation I mean I have a job but my relationship with my parents is meh even though I still live with them.@@Petrolhead9198
Exactly! It's all about communication and understanding WHY we had certain rules and restrictions, not just blanket obedience. My parents also took into account that if we were trustworthy with one thing, we could be trusted with more. We had strict parents but we still both maintain great relationships with them and each other.
As a mom to a strong willed 14 year old girl, I thank you for the inspiration to be a stricter Mom! Go Brett! Your mom must be awesome!
Really???
My kids didn't get smartphones, unless they had a job and paid for it themselves.
I was against my now teen daughter having one, but our school's buses are notoriously terrible. Drivers don't show up, they may be an hour late, and the school rarely informs the parents. My kid has one for 1 purpose: So I can track her position. No social media apps at all, she can't download anything without the password. She's content just texting with her friends. If a flip phone could be tracked, I'd have gone with that.
I can see why her kids think they're strict because they compare them to other parents who do not care about what their kids too. This mom is actually doing a lot right. Having seperate blankets for young couples is appropriate. Not allowing phones upstairs, great. These are not even bad. Sick of the catastrophizing over parents who are just more aware of what their kids do.
it’s good to get away from being physically and emotionally abusive to children. you can be authoritative without being abusive
My mom (dad deceased) had rules. So glad. She earned all 5 kids respect. 4 University grads. 5 kids working. All different levels of success. Long time passed she still comes up in conversation.
Terrifying to know that “normal” parenting is so uncommon.
I'm going to be a first-year teacher this year, and I worked as a paraprofessional the last couple of years. I agree that children absolutely need and thrive on rules and regulations. They need to get used to not getting everything they want.
I'm gen x and do not believe in this gentle parenting business. You need to raise your children, not ask them if it's ok.
ok
@gretchengrant9573 Preach it sister!!! ❤
Absolutely!! My friend disciplined her teen and he blew up at her bc that's what hormonal teens do. She literally wrote him a 5 page letter explaining how he hurt her feelings and why she gave him the punishment (which she lessened it) she did. I was flabbergasted.
The lesson he learned was throw a fit and mom will cave.
Absolutely. You make the rules as the parent not children
It also depends on the kid. I'm sure that the parent that spends the most time with their kid knows that kid best.
You can't be nice to the point where your child knows that you threaten but then you cave in when they do the thing you told them not to. But if the kid only pushes back MORE when you don't stop and think about WHY they're lashing out, it'll only get worse.
Like I admit, it's not good to let your child walk all over you. But if your kid has insane anger issues that has them do even more reckless things when you yell at them and basically call them useless, that's not good either.
I have better control over my anger now but it comes with the price of being afraid of letting my guard down. I grew up angry because I felt like I couldn't do anything without being criticized for it and then they'd do it for me because I wasn't good enough. I wasn't afraid of physical pain (that just broke me to tears and made me more angry), and I was smart enough to know certain things.
As I've gotten older, I realized that I was too harsh on my parents. They didn't know any better since I was their first child. They might be overprotective but they also hurt us (my siblings and I) the most in different ways. For example, I learned on my own time the things that I wasn't able to learn as a kid that I should have been able to do. I still get called names when my parents are angry but it doesn't bother me anymore since I know that they just don't know how to manage their anger issues 😅
I didn’t get a phone till I was 21 and I’m 23 now. I turned out just fine
You were an adult tho….. 18 n up is an adult . Mommy can’t treat you like a child at 20
@@Abcdefghijajajajawell if you're an adult you are welcome to get your own phone, a parent can decide what's best for their own children. If a parent is buying something for a child they get to decide if and when they get it.
I've homeschooled for 10 years. We also have no screens in bedrooms, we have limit (so relaxed 2 hrs), Thank you for the 1 blacket per person "Love that". My sons are 12 and 15. We are not at the girl friend level yet but it's coming. Thanks. Love this.
This is exactly how I raised my kids! We did allow screens in the bedroom, but it was an old big tv with a dvd player only and they had to “borrow” the movies from us parents, so definitely “parent approved” screen time. For one hour. Ask these young men now, and they DO appreciate that I didn’t raise spoiled a-holes. They actually acknowledge it.
I hated it growing up, that i grew up without a tv and i didn’t get a phone till i was 15 and was a nanny for a year. Now that i look back im really glad
Apparently I am apart of the strict parent club and loving it. We just had a hurricane and my kiddos did awesome because they are so limited and we had no electricity. Other kids were in their driveways trying to get service to watch something. Even when the electricity came back everything remained off and they just played with toys and read. My eldest (had the most strict parenting and is in the USMC) turned out well and doing so good in his adult life.
She sounds like a "Mean Mother".
I had a "Mean Mother" MANY years ago.
`
Mean Mother
A mean mother never allows candy or sweets
to take the place of a well-balanced meal.
A mean mother insists on knowing
where her children are at all times,
who their friends are and what they do.
A mean mother breaks the child labor law
by making her children work. . .
washing dishes, making beds, learning
to cook and doing other chores.
A mean mother makes life miserable for her offspring
by insisting that they always tell the truth.
A mean mother produces teenagers
who are wiser and more sensible.
A mean mother can smile with secret delight
and pride when she hears her own
grandchildren call their parents "mean."
What the world needs now are more "Mean Mothers."
Should try the Alcoholic gold digger stepmom sometime... She tried to have me involuntarily committed when I was 11, but after my MMPI results the psychiatrist caller her out... and made it abundantly clear to me that I was not a crazy person, but that my parents were very sick.
Amen
Is this supposed to be a poem? Read Lord Byron or Jon Donne, you dense creature.
As a teacher, I pray for more parents to teach discipline like this.
Same! I work at an elementary school in Germany and I have 4th graders with unlimited screentime who fall asleep during class bc they were watching Videos until 3 in the morning.
My son teaches K - 2. The stories about the kindergartners with the districts non support is crazy. I asked what about the parents being called in. What you can't control me child. They are fine at home what are you doing wrong? You are wrong that can't be my child just a few. The non support, the child has no accountability so other students see this and start following. His biggest struggle was with the first graders that missed the year with COVID. Stay strong be safe.
Jesus taught, “When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men … but when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your father who is unseen.” Mathew 6:5-8
I love this mum!!! We need yo implement this in our house. Kids are out of control due to social media.
I bet most of the negative responses are from teenagers and/or young adults.
Like I told my mom. “Be a Parent. Not a Friend.”
Her kids have to . . . NOT STARE AT THEIR PHONES?! The horror.
My daughters (who are young) are homeschooled via an accredited online school. The bulk of their tech time is spent on their schooling.
My parents do the same thing! Have very similar rules and the driving and curfew rule to where instead of saying “oh be home by 10” it’s “oh leave there around 9:40 and text me when your leaving so I know your on the way” my parents would rather me be home safe then speeding down the road to get home around a certain time
That makes a lot more sense... can't believe I never thought of it that way 😂
I was left to my own devices by my parents and I’m completely unsuccessful and unhappy as an adult.
yeah sure it was your parents fault...
@@helenamarie4337 Children's frontal lobe isn't fully developed until 25 yrs., not great at making decisions. It's your parent's job to show you how to be a successful adult.
@@meredith3588And once you are an adult, it's your job to pick up the slack of what your parents did and make yourself successful.
I'm all for recognizing the impact parents have on us as children, but once we are no longer a children, keeping that narrative is crippling.
Taking ownership of how we turn turned out is the only way to mature and move forward.
Same, total lack of learning self control at home. It handicapped me for decades.
My mom was an alcoholic. She divorced my dad when I was 3. From there, I had a childhood filled with idiot drunks fighting each other. I have 2 younger brothers and we all have different dads. Regardless (or because) of this, I knew right from wrong and knew I didn't want to be like them. Take some accountability. It's not 100% nurture.
My mother was the opposite of strict and honestly I hated it. I had no guidelines for anything so it always felt random when I got in trouble. Not ready on time for school that’s ok you want to look good, then one day she’s screaming because I’m late. Doesn’t care if I stay up all night playing video games, then randomly decides I have a strict bedtime only to stop caring a few days later, Saying going out with friends is more important then homework but freaks out later that homework isn’t done.
I had to learn so much on my own in college that she should have taught me from a young age. Everyone thinks they want parents with no rules but it actually really sucks.
That's just bad behavior from your mother. She certainly didn't do that to other adults, because she knew that they wouldn't take her bs.
As a tween-teen, this mother is doing an amazing job. She’s much less stricter than most of my friends’ moms are. I know my mom set a screen time like that for my phone, ipad, apple watch, any device i had i had a limit, but i could literally use one app all day and my phone was a brick afterwards but i could text and call, not looking up stuff or anything. I’m not allowed to go out anywhere without an adult with me. I’m not allowed on my phone if i didn’t do chores, feed pets, do dishes. All that jazz.
As a tween, that's literally hell, like I'm so sorry
@@Liya-jt1bj where i live this isn’t as strict as others
My kids are grown but my parenting style was very similar to this mom. I’m 63 and know what having “strict” parents looks like and this ain’t it. My daughter used to always say, “but everyone else’s parents let them… ” to which my reply was always “well, I guess their parents don’t love their kids as much as I love you”. Looking back I wish I was stricter with screens and social media.
Bro your horrible
I’m 41….I didn’t get a phone until I was 18 (also bought it myself). I truly wish kids nowadays had the social media free childhood I had. We had real friends and played outside from dawn til dusk. No one walked around staring down at their phone. Yeah, Ik I sound elderly to adolescents but wouldn’t change it if I could. 🤷♀️
When she was a child, My daughter( who is an adult now) used to tell me all the time that I was “ not the boss of her”!!!! My response was “ until you are 18: I’m God”! I was not a strict parent but a reasonable one. We had rules ( school came first) , respect( like knocking on closed doors and waiting for answer to come in, calling if going to be late both of us) and communication. Choose your battles wisely and start when they are young. I saw so many parents clamp down on their kids the minute they became teens and of course they rebel! I drove my kid to school or would pick her up every day with a few of her friends. Parents asked me why am I spoiling her! I said it was a great way to hear what was going on in her life and her friends lives. I would often times be asked to listen or give advice. I knew who,what, where, why and how she was. I talked to her and listened to her! It was not perfect( we both had explosive tempers). Today, she often looks back at her childhood and wonders how she “ got away” with so much! Then realizes that I knew exactly what she was doing most of the time but she needed to explore, learn and grow on her own terms. She still jokingly asks “ why didn’t you beat me, I was a horrible child? I always respond “ I was not a perfect mother how could I expect my child to be perfect! You were not “ horrible” you were a “child”. Just keep them safe as best you can, respect each other and boundaries and teach children by example. A few rules that all people in the house follow( yes the adults also) and do the best you can with your circumstances.
As I've watched my younger cousins (16-5 years of age) grow up with the mom who just wants to be their friend, I have seen firsthand how important boundaries, structure, and rules are and thank my parents all the time for being the "bad guys" and saying no when needed. I have grown up to be a well-adjusted and responsible adult because I had rules and learned that setting rules and boundaries for yourself even as an adult is important
As a grown adult, I want to put a time limit on my apps. When she said it was a time limit on each app and then kids can send a request for more time if need be and how they can use it to monitor the kiddos' chores? That's fantastic! That's how you adapt to the times.That's not strict. What she's describing is placing boundaries and establishing good habits for the future generation. Good on her.
My nine year old watched this with me. We are not a digital family, we live among nature and books. I tried the iPad thing and it stunted my child's development, then we experienced regression. The TH-cam browsing left her frustrated and irritable which reminded me of my teenage self. No thank you to the brainwashing screens.
My Greek parents would laugh at gentle parenting 🇨🇾🇬🇷☦️🤣
I'm Greek and live in the countryside in Central Greece. I'm Gen X. My generation and later are horrible parents who spoil their kids rotten. I'm a teacher and see lots of kids from around 10 to 16 years old.
😂
As someone who goes to a greek church, I know exactly what you're talking about 😂
Honest question. How authentic is My Big Fat Greek Wedding in terms of parenting? 😄
People who hate on GP don't even know what it is.
Lol I was raised without screens in my room and that rule stays with my kid(s). Even though now I do have my phone in our room, I still keep my phone away from my bed-side. I agree with the mom and I believe she’s not strict
OMG laughed so hard over the blanket. I didn’t have the one blanket rule but the concept was the same. My kids and friends would be piled on the couch and we had “show of hands” rule. Hands above the blanket. My kids were embarrassed but their friends thought it was cute.
Caught a pair snogging in the corner of the game room, while the rest were watching a movie. When they gave me attitude I suggested that I run my rules by their parents. One said fine. I added that if it’s fine with them then they can come pick you up and their parents can deal with it because “ My ship, my rules.” Ended the rule breaking immediately.
I think what is important is to find a balance. I had two parents wih two completely different parenting strategies: my father let me do most things I wanted to, if I had shown that I had thought it somewhat through. But he would also never take things away from me and never force me to do things I didn't want to. My mother on the other hand was extremely controlling, she would take my devices (that I at that point) needed for school just because she wanted to and if I wouldn't perform in school then she would lash out with more restrictions. For me personally, I spend more time on my devices just to go aginst my mother. As well as, being more addicted to my devices too.
Conclusion: Finding a balance is the most important thing! Do not be too strict, but do not let yourself be a pushover.
The upset over screen time is WILD. It's good for kids to not be on the screens all day. I feel bad for kids that are connected all the time. I graduated in 2010, so I still was pretty connected, we could text and had Facebook. But when there was drama at school it was so easy to leave the drama at school. That time away gave me time to take a step bad and assess and talk to my mom about what was going on and either get advice or realize it wasn't that big if a deal.
Used to work at AT&T and I saw some of the worst kids coming in and getting phones. I've always remembered though this one couple. Both super nice and they brought their 14 year old in. She was one of the nicest young teens I have ever met. Very respectful. I helped them out best I could to find a deal for them and get them all set up. It was her first phone. Parents need to normalize having their children earn things. Kids can't make money but that doesn't mean they can't earn things in other ways like chores and just genuinely helping out.
That was definitely my childhood. And I appreciate it now. Sounds like the commenters might be still teenagers and not wanting that. I obviously didn’t like the rules when I was younger, but now that I’m 26, I look back and appreciate it. I didn’t get a smart phone until I was 21 and I was the one to buy it.